Edgar Bergen & Charlie McCarthy 40-02-18 146 Guest - Clark Gable and Vera Vague

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Edgar Bergen & Charlie McCarthy 40-02-18 146 Guest - Clark Gable and Vera Vague"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Episode: Edgar Bergen & Charlie McCarthy 40-02-18 146 Guest - Clark Gable and Vera Vague
• Release Date: March 17, 2025

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1. Introduction of Guests and Setting

At the outset of the episode ([00:37]), Edgar Bergen introduces the special guests, Clark Gable and Vera Vague, setting the stage for an engaging evening. The presence of these iconic figures from the Golden Age of Radio promises a blend of humor, storytelling, and classic radio charm.

2. The Ethical Dilemma: Charlie Finds Money

One of the central discussions revolves around Charlie McCarthy discovering a significant sum of money. The conversation delves into Charlie's internal conflict about whether to keep the money or return it.

• Charlie McCarthy’s Discovery ([05:02]-[06:10]): Charlie reveals he found money after slipping down Hillside Road and sitting on an old leather purse containing cash. He humorously justifies his claim, stating, "Well, I sat on it, didn't I?" ([05:20]).

• Clark Gable’s Guidance ([05:38]-[06:50]): Clark Gable advises Charlie against keeping the money, emphasizing moral responsibility:

  "You should make some attempt to return it." ([06:04])

• Resolution to Report the Found Money ([07:38]-[10:06]): After deliberation, Charlie decides to run an advertisement to return the money, albeit struggling with the proper wording. Clark guides him to craft a truthful and effective ad:

  "Found a black leather purse on Hillside Road. Containing money." ([08:39])

• Final Decision to Seek a Reward ([09:42]-[10:06]): Clark suggests offering a reward to encourage the rightful owner to come forward. Charlie agrees, showing growth in his moral stance:

  "Well, in that case, we'll run the ad." ([09:48])

3. Vera Vague on Art and Family Challenges

Vera Vague takes the spotlight discussing her passion for art and the challenges faced within her family, particularly concerning her cousin Gerald.

• Passion for Art ([13:09]-[15:09]): Vera elaborates on her lifelong fascination with art, mentioning visits to renowned art galleries and pride in her own portrait:

  "Every time Waldo sees it, he jumps." ([14:32])

• Concern for Cousin Gerald ([16:24]-[17:25]): She expresses frustration over Gerald’s disinterest in art, contrasting it with the family's appreciation for fine art:

  "It's a shame... he doesn't pay any attention to her collection of glassware and pottery." ([16:43])

• Impact on Family ([17:40]-[17:51]): The discussion highlights familial tensions arising from differing interests, showcasing Vera's emotional investment in art:

  "She has some very rare old pieces." ([17:21])

4. Humorous Hunting Stories with Donald Dixon and Clark Gable

Donald Dixon shares exaggerated hunting tales that add humor and lightheartedness to the episode, interacting playfully with Clark Gable and Charlie McCarthy.

• First Hunting Tale ([21:56]-[23:31]): Donald recounts an encounter with mountain lions, only to have Charlie humorously undermine the story:

  "Maybe an elephant never forgets, but you do, Mr. Gabo." ([27:16])

• Second Hunting Tale ([24:02]-[27:14]): Donald narrates a dramatic escape from an elephant, which Charlie skeptically questions, leading to a comedic exchange about the plausibility of the stories:

  "Well, maybe it was a wild goat, huh?" ([24:38])

• Final Exchange ([27:48]-[28:13]): Clark Gable and Donald Dixon reflect on the credibility of their stories, acknowledging the blend of truth and fiction:

  "Both of them told hunting stories that were pretty fishy, I'd say." ([27:55])

5. Dynamic Interactions and Banter

The episode is marked by lively interactions among the host, guests, and Charlie McCarthy, blending humor with heartfelt conversations.

• Charlie’s Financial Mishap ([05:02]-[10:18]): The moral debate over the found money showcases Charlie’s charismatic and mischievous personality, juxtaposed with Clark’s integrity.

• Vera’s Emotional Outburst ([16:14]-[17:25]): Vera’s passionate discussion about art and her family's struggles adds depth and emotion, balancing the lighter hunting stories.

• Comedic Hunting Dialogues ([21:56]-[28:13]): The playful back-and-forth between Donald Dixon, Clark Gable, and Charlie McCarthy over the authenticity of hunting tales enhances the show’s entertainment value.

6. Conclusion and Sign-Off

As the episode winds down, Edgar Bergen wraps up the show with warm farewells, emphasizing camaraderie and shared experiences.

• Epilogue by Edgar Bergen ([30:06]-[30:47]): Bergen encourages listeners to support Chase and Sanborn Coffee, tying back to the show’s sponsorship in a nostalgic nod:

  "When you taste that wonderful flavor, you're going to be pleased too." ([30:06])

• Final Goodbyes ([29:28]-[29:53]): Donald Dixon presents Charlie with a moose hunting horn, symbolizing the episode's blend of humor and friendship:

  "It's the love call of the moose for its mate." ([29:37])

---

Notable Quotes:

1. Charlie McCarthy on Finding Money ([05:18]):

   "Well, Grandpa Snurd says I should run an ad in the paper. It's a silly idea, though."

2. Clark Gable Advising Charlie ([06:02]):

   "Well, what makes you think you own it?"

3. Vera Vague on Art ([14:06]):

   "I never miss a chance to visit all the famous arches."

4. Donald Dixon’s Hunting Story ([21:56]):

   "I took a chance and threw the club at the eyes gleaming in the dark."

5. Charlie’s Skepticism ([27:16]):

   "Maybe an elephant never forgets, but you do, Mr. Gabo."

6. Edgar Bergen’s Closing Remarks ([30:06]):

   "When you taste that wonderful flavor, you're going to be pleased too."

---

Key Takeaways:

• Moral Integrity: The episode highlights the importance of honesty and ethical behavior through Charlie’s dilemma about the found money and Clark’s guidance.

• Passion vs. Indifference: Vera Vague’s discussions emphasize the emotional connections people have with their passions, contrasting them with Gerald’s indifference.

• Humor in Storytelling: Donald Dixon’s exaggerated hunting stories provide comic relief, showcasing the playful dynamics among the guests.

• Classic Radio Charm: The interactions capture the essence of old-time radio, blending humor, storytelling, and heartfelt conversations seamlessly.

---

This episode of "Harold's Old Time Radio" serves as a delightful homage to the Golden Age of Radio, combining ethical discussions, passionate dialogues, and humorous anecdotes. Whether you're a long-time listener or new to the show, the engaging interactions and timeless charm make it a memorable listen.

Transcript

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[Charlie McCarthy]

Wayfair, Every style. Every home.

[Edgar Bergen]

The makers of Chase and Sanborn coffee, the blend that's Friendship in a Cup presents Edgar Bergen, Donald Dixon, Robert Armrest and the Chase and Sanborn Orchestra. Our special guests, Clark Gable and Vera.

[Donald Dixon]

Vague and Charlie McCarthy.

[Charlie McCarthy]

This is Charlie McCarthy brewing up another cup of friendship and stirring with a gusto for a good old Chase and Sanborn.

[Donald Dixon]

Is that a solid silver gusto you're stirring with, Charlie?

[Charlie McCarthy]

Oh, hello, Mr. Gable. How will you have it, with or without sugar?

[Donald Dixon]

I like it sweet, Charlie.

[Vera Vague]

Oh, Mr. Gable, why didn't you tell me? You trick me, beautiful man.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Carol Lombard, come get your man.

[Donald Dixon]

Oh, don't worry, Charlie. Vera Beg and I are just a couple of old friends.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Ah, friendship in a couple. Well, don't say I didn't warn you, Mr. Gable, or Mr. Dick's in.

[Donald Dixon]

Yes, Charlie.

[Charlie McCarthy]

You better sing before the trouble starts. And it will start.

[Edgar Bergen]

All right, Charlie.

[Robert Armbruster]

It's cold.

[Edgar Bergen]

Porters, begin to begin.

[Robert Armbruster]

Ready, Robert?

[Clark Gable]

Yeah. Let's begin.

[Jim Bannon]

When they begin the begin it brings back the sound of music so tender it brings back a night Onto our pick of splendor it brings back a memory Evergreen I'm with you once more under the star and down by the shore an orchestra's playing and even the palms seem to be swaying when they begin the beginning to live it again Is past all endeavor except when that tune clutches my heart and there we are Swearing to love forever and promising never, never to part what moments divine what rapture serene Till clouds come along to disperse the joys we had tasted and now when I hear people cur and persuasion I know but the world what they mean so then let them begin to begin make the play.

[Clark Gable]

In.

[Jim Bannon]

The stars Of a very horn return above you Till you whisper to me again Darling, I love you and we suddenly know what heaven we're in when they begin the be.

[Charlie McCarthy]

There'S $5 and then five more makes $10 and there's $15 and there's $20.

[Clark Gable]

Charlie.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Hello, bargain.

[Clark Gable]

Where did you get all that money?

[Charlie McCarthy]

Oh, I got it. I got it yesterday.

[Clark Gable]

Oh, you did? Yes, yes, but how.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Oh.

[Clark Gable]

How did you get all that money?

[Charlie McCarthy]

Well, I found it.

[Clark Gable]

Oh, so that's it.

[Robert Armbruster]

Yes, found it.

[Charlie McCarthy]

I was walking, you know, down Hillside Road, and I slipped, see?

[Clark Gable]

Mm.

[Charlie McCarthy]

And I sat right down on an old leather purse with money in it.

[Clark Gable]

Is that right?

[Charlie McCarthy]

Yeah.

[Clark Gable]

Oh, I don't believe that.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Well, I did.

[Clark Gable]

Well, what are you going to do with it now?

[Charlie McCarthy]

Well, Grandpa Snurd says I should run an ad in the paper. It's a silly idea, though.

[Clark Gable]

Well, what do you think, Charlie?

[Charlie McCarthy]

Lots of money?

[Clark Gable]

Yes.

[Charlie McCarthy]

What do you suppose? Finer skeepers, cheaper scrapers?

[Clark Gable]

I'm afraid not, Charlie. No. You should make some attempt to return it.

[Charlie McCarthy]

But it's my money.

[Clark Gable]

Well, what makes you think you own it?

[Charlie McCarthy]

Well, I sat on it, didn't I?

[Clark Gable]

Yes. What's that got to do with it?

[Charlie McCarthy]

Ain't there some law about. About squatters rights?

[Clark Gable]

I am afraid that won't apply.

[Charlie McCarthy]

You'll all apply it.

[Clark Gable]

No, of course not.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Oh, of course. Everything I do is wrong, as sure as I do.

[Clark Gable]

Then it's wrong.

[Charlie McCarthy]

It's got to be wrong. Just because I do it.

[Clark Gable]

All right. Now, Charlie, I'm not going to tell you what to do.

[Charlie McCarthy]

You're not?

[Clark Gable]

No, I'm not. Oh, I want you to do just what you think is right.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Yeah?

[Clark Gable]

Yes. Good.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Then I'll keep it.

[Clark Gable]

Charlie, I think.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Yeah?

[Clark Gable]

I think you would be happier.

[Charlie McCarthy]

I don't know about that.

[Clark Gable]

I think you'd be much happier if you put an ad in the lost and found column.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Have you had there? Yes, I'm awful happy right now. Suppose. Suppose the owner doesn't read the ad?

[Clark Gable]

Well, then of course you can keep the money. Yeah, but certainly.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Okay. Okay, Mr. Bergen. We'll do the right thing. We'll run. We'll run an ad. How small? Something conservative.

[Clark Gable]

Yes.

[Charlie McCarthy]

And we'll run it in a Chinese newspaper.

[Clark Gable]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

[Clark Gable]

That's no good. That's no good, huh? No. Now. Now what do you want to put in the ad, Charlie?

[Charlie McCarthy]

Well, let's see. We'll start it with. We'll start with whoever lost a purse.

[Clark Gable]

Yes.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Be more careful next time.

[Clark Gable]

No, that won't. Oh, good. No, can't do that.

[Charlie McCarthy]

No, no, she will.

[Clark Gable]

Now, why don't you do it this way? Found.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Yeah.

[Clark Gable]

Black leather purse containing. How much money did it have in it?

[Charlie McCarthy]

Oh, don't make it so easy. Don't tell him. It's a black purse. Better yet, don't even run an ad. Now that I think of It.

[Clark Gable]

Well, now, let's be serious about this.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Yes.

[Clark Gable]

Now, what do you want to say?

[Charlie McCarthy]

Well, just say. Just say who lost what where. Let them figure it out, the rest.

[Clark Gable]

No, no, no, no, no. But with that kind of an ad, you'll never be able to return the money. Oh, no.

[Charlie McCarthy]

You think that's bad?

[Clark Gable]

Now, wait a minute. Now, let's take one thing at a time.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Yes.

[Clark Gable]

All right, we'll start all over. Found.

[Charlie McCarthy]

That's right. Found it again.

[Clark Gable]

A black leather purse on Hillside Road. That's good. Containing money.

[Charlie McCarthy]

That's the idea.

[Clark Gable]

Yes. Will the owner Please phone Azusa?

[Charlie McCarthy]

444 ring 6.

[Clark Gable]

No, no, no. You know that isn't your number. Yeah, but they don't know it. Well, it's clear to me that you don't want to return that money.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Yeah, I don't think I do either, Charlie.

[Clark Gable]

I'm. I'm a little ashamed of you.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Yeah.

[Clark Gable]

A moment ago you said you wanted to, and now you don't. What's the matter with you anyway?

[Charlie McCarthy]

All I don't know. Oh, I just don't know. I'm not myself today, after all. Mr. Bergen, let's be honest with each other now, huh?

[Clark Gable]

All right.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Let's have a heart to heart talk on this thing.

[Clark Gable]

All right.

[Charlie McCarthy]

I'll let my hair down and you do the best you can.

[Clark Gable]

Never mind that. If you return the money, Charlie.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Yes?

[Clark Gable]

I'm sure that the owner will be more than glad to give you a reward.

[Charlie McCarthy]

A reward?

[Clark Gable]

Well, yes.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Oh, I never thought about that. Well, in that case, we'll run the ass.

[Clark Gable]

Fine.

[Charlie McCarthy]

And you write it for me, I beg, and I'll dictate it.

[Clark Gable]

Yes, that's right. Now, it's going to read like this.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Yeah.

[Clark Gable]

Found a black leather purse containing money on Hillside Road. That's good.

[Charlie McCarthy]

And then put a P. S. A liberal reward will be considered. We ain't proud.

[Clark Gable]

No.

[Donald Dixon]

Hold honest Dave McCarthy. He's really not too enthusiastic about returning that money, is he, Edgar?

[Clark Gable]

Not too enthusiastic. That's what might be called heroic understatement, Donald. But if you're looking for enthusiasm, let a man talk who has it. Mr. Bannon, you're being paged.

[Edgar Bergen]

Thank you, Edgar. The news is out and we can't pass it on fast enough. Everybody's excited about it, even Mortimer Snerd.

[Robert Armbruster]

The excitement is spreading all over the west as new thousands discover the wonderful flavor of Chase and Sanborn coffee. And you get it. Full measure in either the new silver vacuum can or the new dated silver package. And since Both containers have been improved. Families are changing to this superb blend. Right and left they change because both of these splendid new packages contain what they want in coffee. It's flavor to dream about. Take your choice. It's the same blend either way. One of the richest blends of fine coffee that you can buy today. And it's roasted right here in our big modern western oven. One of the most important factors in the creation of the distinctive Chase and Sanborn flavor is the use of mountain grown coffees. Tropical mountainsides give us these coffees as far above others in flavor as the heights where they're grown. Nature herself performs a blending miracle there. And out of her handiwork comes the coffee. That's friendship in a cup. It's taken more than 75 years to develop coffee to this peak of perfection. And this year when we're celebrating our 76th anniversary, you get the benefit of all that wealth of experience in making better coffee. Yet good as it is, the price is very reasonable. Get a supply of this delicious western product. The next time you need coffee, call for either the new dated silver package or the new silver vacuum can. But be sure you ask for Chase and Sanborn Coffee.

[Clark Gable]

Oh my, my, my, my, my. Oh, Mr. Bergen. Two. Somebody's following me. Well, Mortimer, you must be pretty proud of these colored cutouts that they have of you. Oh, I don't know. I don't care much. I don't care. Well, aren't you going to send for one? Oh my gosh, no, no, no, no, no. You mean you don't want a picture of yourself? No, no, no. Why not? I can't stand to look at myself. Oh, you can't stand to look at yourself. Well, that's pretty bad, isn't it? Here comes Mrs. Vague. Vera Vague. Oh, I can't stand to look at her neither. Salon.

[Vera Vague]

Oh, There you are, Mr. Bergen. Oh my goodness, it's so good to see you. How are you?

[Clark Gable]

Very well, very well.

[Vera Vague]

Oh well, so am I. I'm so glad you're present to hear my lecture on art this evening, Mr. Bergen.

[Clark Gable]

Oh, I see. Well, that's fine. You're quite an authority on art, I take it?

[Vera Vague]

Oh, yes indeed. Yes indeed. That's right up my alley, Mr. Begin.

[Charlie McCarthy]

To use the vernacular, we'd be particularly.

[Clark Gable]

Interested in hearing about sculpturing and painting, you know.

[Vera Vague]

Oh yes indeed. Yes indeed. That's right up my alley, Mrs. Bergen. I've been interested in those subjects ever since I was a child.

[Clark Gable]

Since you were a child, eh? Well, Miss Begg, would You. Would you like to tell us just how old you are?

[Vera Vague]

Oh, yes, indeed. That's right. There's a slight detour there, Mr. Bergen. No, but seriously, I've always been fascinated by art. When I'm abroad. For instance, I never miss a chance to visit all the famous arteries.

[Clark Gable]

They're famous arteries.

[Vera Vague]

Yes, yes. I never can get enough of Michelangelo and Raphael and all the other old misties. Then, of course, you know, Mr. Bagan, my own portrait was hanging over there for quite a while.

[Clark Gable]

Yes, yes, I've seen that portrait of you, Ms. Bake.

[Vera Vague]

Oh, it's very good, isn't it? I'm so proud of it, I had to jump to my boyfriend. Watch Waldo. It's a genuine aboriginal.

[Clark Gable]

That was my first impression.

[Vera Vague]

Oh, yes. Well, it is truly a wonderful likeness. In fact, it looks so much like me. Every time Waldo sees it, he jumps.

[Clark Gable]

I know it's just how he feels. Do.

[Vera Vague]

Yes. Well, bless your heart. You know, Mr. Bag. And frankly, I think Waldo just a little jealous because I had so much fun sitting for the portrait. Painter said I was a marvelous subject. Regular Mona Lisa. Mona Lisa. You know, Mr. Vega, I feel sorry for those poor artists. They make so little money. I don't see how they manage to live on the little kittens they get.

[Clark Gable]

Well, still, Ms. Vague, some of our greatest paintings have been done by struggling young artists on empty stomachs.

[Charlie McCarthy]

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[Vera Vague]

Bestlife can't even afford a Kansas.

[Clark Gable]

Why can't you? Poverty.

[Vera Vague]

Guess what I'm saying? I'm more interested in sculpturing than I am in painting. Anyway, I feel. Mr. Beggins, please don't interrupt while I'm butting in. Well, you have to forgive me, Mr. Begin. I'm so fussed, I don't know what I'm saying. I'm so upset about my little cousin Gerald, I don't know what to do.

[Clark Gable]

Well, what's the matter with Gerald, then?

[Vera Vague]

Gerald?

[Clark Gable]

Yes.

[Vera Vague]

Well, he's definitely a problem child, Mr. Bergen. He has such a natural talent for painting. But every time we get him near as easily. Just keeps saying, I ain't going to paint. I ain't going to paint. My goodness, the way he talks. You'd think he had eights in his paints.

[Clark Gable]

Ms. Baines, please.

[Vera Vague]

Well, I don't care. It's a shame, Mr. Bates. He's the only one in our entire family who doesn't care for art. His mother's just heartbroken because he doesn't pay any attention to her collection of glassware and pottery.

[Clark Gable]

Yes, I've seen that collection. And she really has some very rare old pieces.

[Vera Vague]

Yes, she has, hasn't she?

[Clark Gable]

Where did she get that huge Dellarobian mug?

[Vera Vague]

Well, she can't help it, poor thing. Her mother looked that way.

[Robert Armbruster]

And so that's art.

[Donald Dixon]

An amazing subject, if we're to believe Vera Vague.

[Clark Gable]

Yes. She's really a fund of misinformation, isn't she? Say, Donald, have you gotten her views on music and singing?

[Robert Armbruster]

Well, no, Edgar.

[Donald Dixon]

Say, do you think maybe I'd better just stop singing till I do?

[Clark Gable]

Well, I know it's risky, Donald, but why don't you just throw caution to the wind and go ahead and sing anyhow?

[Donald Dixon]

All right, Edgar.

[Robert Armbruster]

And the song is Black Roses by Sibelius.

[Jim Bannon]

Tell me, what is it makes thee mournful today? For thou ever art so joyful and glad Alas, there's nothing makes me sadder today that the seekers be joyful and glad O sorrow has black pettled ro in my heart is a rose Laurel for this she was at the night Were at times to set me free where the corn with the bud There's a corn with the leaf and the bitter day passes in aching and grief O sorrow has black baffle the roses soon the roses in handfuls will blossom and bud for snow white and death yet what rip Laurel is growing Is nearing the end My heartstrings are yielding the quiver and the burn.

[Clark Gable]

Oh, Charlie. Charlie, please.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Mr. Bergen, please. If you'll excuse me, I have a few very pertinent questions to ask Mr. Gable, about Mexico. Mr. Gable. Oh, Mr. Gable. Oh, Mister Gable. Great heavens. Don't tell me he's lost again.

[Donald Dixon]

Here I am, Charlie.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Say, Mr. Gable, you've been in Mexico, haven't you?

[Donald Dixon]

Yes, I was down there on a hunting trip. Marvelous. Hunting whale, duck, geese and cougar. Great sport.

[Charlie McCarthy]

I imagine so. You know, I've been.

[Donald Dixon]

Charlie, would you like to hear about my hunting experiences?

[Charlie McCarthy]

Yeah.

[Clark Gable]

Well, no, no, by all means, let's hear about them. Clark, I don't think there's anything more interesting than a good hunting story.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Well, all right. I'll be glad to tell you a few. Last summer, there was a gopher in the backyard.

[Donald Dixon]

A vicious one.

[Charlie McCarthy]

There you go.

[Clark Gable]

You are, Charlie. No one's asking you.

[Charlie McCarthy]

All right, all right. If you're going to be that way about it. All right. You tell your story, Mr. Gable, and then I'll top it.

[Donald Dixon]

Oh, you'll top it, huh?

[Charlie McCarthy]

That's what I said. Yeah.

[Clark Gable]

All right.

[Donald Dixon]

Then I'll tell you about the night I killed one of the big cats down there.

[Charlie McCarthy]

You mean a pussycat?

[Donald Dixon]

No, no, no, Charlie. Two hunters. Mountain lions are cats.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Oh, I think that's. I killed a cat once, too, you know.

[Clark Gable]

What?

[Charlie McCarthy]

Yes.

[Donald Dixon]

You mean a mountain lion?

[Charlie McCarthy]

No, just a cat. To me, catch is cats.

[Clark Gable]

Charlie, will you please stop? Now, go ahead with your story, Clark.

[Donald Dixon]

Well, while I was camping out one night, I was awakened by a noise outside my tent.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Do tell.

[Donald Dixon]

I looked out and saw two mountain lions. In the dark?

[Clark Gable]

Yeah, two lions.

[Charlie McCarthy]

How could you see them if it was dark?

[Donald Dixon]

Well, I saw four eyes shining.

[Clark Gable]

Oh, four eyes.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Maybe it was one mountain lion wearing glasses.

[Donald Dixon]

No, no. It was two mountain lions.

[Clark Gable]

Sure.

[Donald Dixon]

And there was I, unarmed.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Unarmed on a hunting trip. Go ahead. You almost interest me.

[Donald Dixon]

Well, my gun was in the car.

[Charlie McCarthy]

I'll show you.

[Donald Dixon]

Well, I locked up.

[Charlie McCarthy]

I mean, the car was locked.

[Donald Dixon]

You know how you keep it locked? Do you understand?

[Charlie McCarthy]

You mean you didn't have it? That's what you need. So, what did you do, big brave man that you are?

[Donald Dixon]

Well, I found a club.

[Charlie McCarthy]

A club? Did it have a floor show?

[Clark Gable]

That's just about enough of that.

[Charlie McCarthy]

I feel the same way about it, Bergen. And I think we should tell him.

[Clark Gable]

You do? Well, did you get this, Cougar Clark?

[Donald Dixon]

Yes. Yes, Edgar, I did. I took a chance and threw the club at the eyes gleaming in the dark. And would you believe it?

[Charlie McCarthy]

No, I wouldn't.

[Clark Gable]

Personally.

[Donald Dixon]

No, I'm not Talking to you, McCarthy. Edgar. Edgar, I hit one of the lions.

[Charlie McCarthy]

How do you know you did it was dark.

[Donald Dixon]

I heard him say, ouch.

[Clark Gable]

Ouch.

[Charlie McCarthy]

I won't go for that one.

[Donald Dixon]

I'm not asking you to go for anything, McCarthy. I'm talking to Bergen.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Yes, I know. I'm glad you are, Mr. Gable. Did I ever tell you about the time I shot a wild boar 10ft long?

[Donald Dixon]

10Ft?

[Charlie McCarthy]

Yep.

[Donald Dixon]

That would be from bow to stern.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Exactly. Or from stern to bow if you're going the other way.

[Donald Dixon]

McCarthy, where did this happen?

[Charlie McCarthy]

Oh, Seal Stout. Yeah. 300 miles south of here by Pogo Stick. Maybe a little farther than that.

[Donald Dixon]

McCarthy, how far?

[Charlie McCarthy]

Oh, it's about 200 miles. I guess you take a short time. Yes, it's down in the elephant country.

[Clark Gable]

You know, in the elephant.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Terrified to me.

[Donald Dixon]

There are no elephants 200 miles from here. There are no elephants 200 miles from here, McCarthy. There are no elephants 200 miles.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Will the gentleman from MGM kindly yield about the wild boar?

[Donald Dixon]

McCarthy, you never shot any wild boar.

[Charlie McCarthy]

No.

[Donald Dixon]

No.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Well, maybe it was a wild goat, huh?

[Donald Dixon]

No, not a wild goat.

[Clark Gable]

Think.

[Charlie McCarthy]

That's what. Oh, you don't think so, huh?

[Donald Dixon]

No, I don't.

[Charlie McCarthy]

A chipmunk.

[Donald Dixon]

Well, possibly a chipmunk.

[Clark Gable]

Possibly.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Do you mind if I make it a wild chipmunk?

[Donald Dixon]

All right.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Thank you. Thank you. Of course, all you've done is just ruin a good hunting story.

[Clark Gable]

May I suggest that you confine your hunting experiences to the truth?

[Charlie McCarthy]

You mean we should both stop talking?

[Clark Gable]

No.

[Charlie McCarthy]

I tell you about the time I was attacked by four mooses.

[Clark Gable]

How many?

[Charlie McCarthy]

Four mooses.

[Clark Gable]

No, no. Four. What?

[Charlie McCarthy]

Yeah. Well, they will fire them.

[Clark Gable]

No, no, no. For what?

[Charlie McCarthy]

For the moose eyes.

[Clark Gable]

No, no, no.

[Charlie McCarthy]

All right, I was attacked by one moose, but there were three more with him.

[Donald Dixon]

McCarthy, how did you get away from them?

[Charlie McCarthy]

Well, I'll tell you how I did it. I started to run in the other direction, see? But there I was, face to face. There was a big bull elephant. So I had an elephant on one side and a moose on the other.

[Donald Dixon]

Oh, sure, sure, sure, sure.

[Charlie McCarthy]

That's gonna get irksome. So the question was, should I kill the moose or should I shoot the bull?

[Donald Dixon]

Well, you've been doing pretty.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Oh, you don't believe me, huh?

[Donald Dixon]

No, McCarthy, I don't. Because I faced a charging elephant once and I know what it's like.

[Clark Gable]

Oh, sure, it was a.

[Donald Dixon]

It was a terrifying incident. I wounded the elephant five times.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Why didn't you try killing him?

[Donald Dixon]

Well, I. I needed more cartridges.

[Charlie McCarthy]

You needed a course in marksmanship.

[Donald Dixon]

Well, finally I got away.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Oh, you did, did you?

[Donald Dixon]

Yes, but A few days later, while I was out inspecting some traps, I suddenly came upon the same elephant.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Oh, sure.

[Donald Dixon]

Fortunately, I saw him first, but I knew it was just a matter of seconds before he would discover me there was I unarmed.

[Charlie McCarthy]

What, again?

[Donald Dixon]

There was no place to hide. But with great presence of mind, I flung myself over the edge of a cliff.

[Charlie McCarthy]

I hope he gets you this time.

[Donald Dixon]

And I hung on the cliff for two hours with a chasm yawning beneath me.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Do you mind if I join the chasm?

[Donald Dixon]

You know, of course. Why, it would have been fatal for me to be seen by the elephant.

[Charlie McCarthy]

You owe your money or something?

[Clark Gable]

No.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Tell me.

[Donald Dixon]

Well, everybody knows an elephant never forgets.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Maybe an elephant never forgets, but you do, Mr. Gabo.

[Donald Dixon]

What do you mean? McCarthy?

[Charlie McCarthy]

I was with you when Frank Buck told that story.

[Clark Gable]

You know, Donald, there are stories and stories, but when it comes to sheer fantasy, I don't know whether Clark or Charlie takes top honors.

[Donald Dixon]

Yes, Edgar. Both of them told hunting stories that were pretty fishy, I'd say.

[Clark Gable]

Oh, I see. A quipster, a Donald. Would you still say it after you thought it over?

[Donald Dixon]

All right, so maybe it wasn't as good as I thought it was.

[Clark Gable]

I can vouch for that. And I can also vouch for the story Jim Bannon has.

[Edgar Bergen]

Thank you, Edgar. An event that means a lot of pleasure to thousands of people is taking place right now. And the best part is it's open to everybody.

[Robert Armbruster]

Yes, every day this coming week, another group of coffee lovers will try Chase and Sanborn Coffee. And just as sure as they do, this grand old Western favorite will make a host of new friends. Because flavor is what the west wants in its coffee. Delicious flavor and lots of it. And that's what you get in Chase and Sanborn Coffee. In either of the improved new containers, there's a rich abundance of coffee satisfaction sealed in the new silver vacuum can and every bit as much of the same goodness in the new dated silver package. That flavor comes from tropical mountainside and it's brought out in our big Western roasting ovens right here at home. From the volcanic soil of the torrid zone high above sea level come the first choice coffees of the world. And we use them to put friendship in a cup. So you get luxury flavor at a very modest price. Take advantage of it. Soon get a supply of Chase and Sanborn Coffee the next time you're buying groceries.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Well, Mr. Bergen, I guess we gotta say goodnight, huh?

[Donald Dixon]

Charlie.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Yes, Mr. Gable?

[Donald Dixon]

Before you go, I have a present for you.

[Charlie McCarthy]

A present for me? Oh, Mr. Gable.

[Donald Dixon]

Yes, Charlie? I've had such a nice time. I want to give you this horn.

[Clark Gable]

A horn?

[Charlie McCarthy]

Oh, for my scooter, huh?

[Donald Dixon]

No, now, it's for moose hunting, Charlie. It's the love call of the moose for its mate.

[Charlie McCarthy]

You mean, when you blow it, the lady moose will answer?

[Donald Dixon]

Well, that's the general idea.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Oh, good. Well, let me hear you blow it.

[Donald Dixon]

All right.

[Robert Armbruster]

Mr.

[Vera Vague]

Gay Ball. Are you calling me Miss Vague?

[Charlie McCarthy]

Mr. Gable was calling a moose.

[Vera Vague]

Oh, well, that is fine.

[Charlie McCarthy]

Yeah.

[Edgar Bergen]

Well, we're signing off now. And if you've had a good time tonight, we hope you'll remember the next time you buy coffee and thank Charlie and the rest by telling your grocer you want Chase and Sanborn. That'll please every one of us. And when you taste that wonderful flavor, you're going to be pleased too. See you Sunday. We'll all be back. Edgar Bergen, Charlie McCarthy, Donald Dixon, Robert Armbust from the Chase and Sanborn Orchestra. And our guest, Walter Catlett, heard on this program, the Big show by Jerome Kern. This is Jim Bannon speaking for the makers of Chase and Sanborn. Golly.

[Clark Gable]

This is the National Broadcasting Company.

[Edgar Bergen]

Kfi, the station of Earl C. Anthony Incorporated.

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[Unknown]

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