Erskine Johnson Hollywood Personals 19xx.xx.xx Guest Lucille Ball

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Erskine Johnson Hollywood Personals – Guest Lucille Ball (Harold's Old Time Radio, Jan 9, 2026)

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Main Theme

In this engaging episode, famed Hollywood columnist Erskine Johnson sits down with the legendary Lucille Ball to discuss her early days in show business. The conversation centers on Lucille's path from small-town girl and model to Hollywood star, vividly recounting the challenges, competitiveness, and resilience needed to succeed. The episode highlights tales of being "fired"—often humorously and repeatedly—by her mentor, Miss Carnegie, ultimately revealing how those setbacks propelled Lucille into her ultimate acting career.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Lucille Ball’s Humble Beginnings in Modeling

• Lucille describes breaking into the modeling world as a young and timid girl from a small town.
• She paints a picture of fierce competition:

  “You work with them, they work on you.” (Lucille Ball, 03:11)

• The difficulty was heightened by established models who “don’t like competition. Especially young competition.” (03:23)

2. Mentorship and Tough Love from Miss Carnegie

• Lucille recounts being hired—while in a horrifically wrong, pink dress—to work for the formidable Miss Carnegie, a dynamic and demanding fashion maven.
• The environment was sink-or-swim, and Lucille quickly had to toughen up amid sass and hazing from other models (stories are relayed with comedic timing and self-deprecation).
• Miss Carnegie’s philosophy: break the young model’s self-consciousness and teach her to be comfortable in her own skin:

  “This isn’t a military academy. Slouch. Fall apart.” (Miss Carnegie, 05:15)

• Humorous scenes are reenacted on-air, showing Lucille being told to walk differently and wear clothes that felt alien to her.

3. A Cycle of Being Fired and Rehired

• Lucille’s stint with Miss Carnegie involved frequent firing and rehiring:

  “She fired me five times while I worked for her. But always called the next day to bawl me out for not coming to work.” (Lucille Ball, 08:20)

• The audience learns that Lucille’s “firings” were not limited to Miss Carnegie—she was fired by several notable producers and designers.

4. From ‘Fired’ to Hollywood Fame

• The final firing was different. Miss Carnegie encouraged Lucille to seize a movie offer, saying supportively:

  “Can’t you grab that offer? Why do you think I’ve been interested in you? Because I thought you’d be here in the shop all your life?” (Miss Carnegie, 10:13)

• Lucille realized, with humor and gratitude, that she was “fired into a Hollywood contract.” (Erskine Johnson, 10:44)
• Miss Carnegie even gifts her clothing for her new life:

  “Before I left, Ms. Carnaby even gave me a lot of clothes to wear when I came out here.” (Lucille Ball, 10:47)

5. Hollywood Anecdotes and Noteworthy Careers

• Johnson briefly shares Hollywood news—Barry Fitzgerald may withdraw from an Oscar race to help Bing Crosby (12:28), Constance Bennett prepares to move to Reno for divorce.
• Lucille, ever quick-witted, jokes:

  “How about me as head of the department for getting fired?” (Lucille Ball, 13:33)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Competition:

  “The younger you are, the rougher these models are. Because they don’t like competition. Especially young competition.”
  — Lucille Ball (03:23)

• On Miss Carnegie’s Tutelage:

  “This isn’t a military academy. Slouch. Fall apart.”
  — Miss Carnegie (05:15)

• On Getting Fired:

  “She fired me five times while I worked for her. But always called the next day to bawl me out for not coming to work.”
  — Lucille Ball (08:20)

• On Her Real Break:

  “Can’t you grab that offer? ... This is what I’ve been waiting for. And this time I mean it. You see? You. You’re fired.”
  — Miss Carnegie (10:16–10:44)

• On Her Newfound Role:

  “How about me as head of the department for getting fired?”
  — Lucille Ball (13:33)

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Timestamps of Key Segments

• [02:21] – Host introduction and Lucille Ball’s first remarks
• [03:06] – Lucille describes her daunting introduction to the modeling world
• [04:59] – Miss Carnegie’s memorable lessons on posture and confidence
• [06:08] – Cycle of being challenged and “fired” in the workplace
• [08:20] – Lucille tallies her firings and cracks jokes about the pattern
• [09:53] – The turning point: Lucille’s leap to Hollywood
• [10:44] – Johnson’s punchline: “So you were fired into a Hollywood contract?”
• [12:28] – Hollywood news roundup
• [13:33] – Lucille’s closing quip about being “head of the department for getting fired”

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Episode Tone and Style

The episode is laced with Lucille Ball’s trademark quick wit and self-mockery. The narrative is equal parts entertaining and inspirational, embracing the humor in repeated setbacks and the unglamorous side of “making it” in Hollywood. The chemistry between Johnson and Ball strikes a balance between reverence, banter, and sincerity.

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Takeaway

Lucille Ball’s journey—marked by repeated setbacks, comedic conflicts, and eventual triumph—offers a timeless lesson in resilience, character, and the uncanny ability to turn even a firing into a launching pad for success. Her story, as told in this episode, is a delightful and candid glimpse behind the curtain of early Hollywood and a warm tribute to the mentors who see potential before we see it ourselves.

Transcript

[A]

Tonight in Hollywood, this is Vincent Johnson.

[B]

And this is Lucille Ball.

[A]

From the glamour capital of the world, the makers of Jurgens lotion present Erskine Johnson and his guest star, Lucille Ball, in the new and exciting series of radio programs. Tonight in Hollywood. Thurston Johnson's daily Hollywood column is an outstanding feature of the Los Angeles Daily News, the Merced, California Sun Star and 600 other newspapers from coast to coast. Each week at this time, he brings you the untold real life stories of Hollywood and its glamorous stars. Tonight's story. Lucille, you're fired. But first, this is James Doyle, who takes off his hat to any girl who's a good secretary. You should see some of our Hollywood secretaries. Lovely as the stars and good at their jobs.

[C]

You'll meet smart, lovely girls like that.

[B]

In business offices all over the country.

[A]

Yes, and notice they're beautifully cared for. Smooth hands.

[B]

Well, many of these secretaries, to prominent men use the same hand care most stars use. These smart secretaries say they use driven blossoms, nearly 2 to 1.

[A]

Naturally, you can count on Jurgens to help protect the pleasant softness of your hands. Even hands that touch carbon paper handle dusty files and help with the housework at home. Jurgens lotion furnishes your hard used hand skin with elements it needs to safeguard its delightful feminine softness.

[B]

And it's so quick and easy to use.

[C]

Many girls keep an extra bottle of.

[B]

Jurgens in the desk drawer to smooth on just before that important luncheon or dinner day.

[C]

Jurgens lotion leaves no exaggerating tissues.

[A]

Surely your own hands deserve this famous loveliness. Care with Jurgens lotion. Only be sure and always use Jergens lotion. And now, here's that famous Hollywood columnist, Erskine Johnson from.

[D]

Thank you, Jim Doyle, and good evening. Our guest in Hollywood tonight is a gal who can best be described.

[C]

The.

[D]

Exciting, glamorous, vivacious, beautiful, talented Lucille Walsh.

[B]

Thanks, Richmond, but I'm fresh out of cigarettes.

[D]

You've got me all wrong, Lucille. I wasn't trying to move the smoke. I really think you're great.

[B]

Well, then, thanks again. And I think you're great. The swellest guy, top columnist, handsomest man in Hollywood.

[D]

God.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Well, how about my cigarette?

[A]

Okay, Lucille. You know, maybe I should have introduced.

[D]

You as the sharpest gal in town. The gal who knows the answer.

[B]

Perhaps some of them, Erskine.

[C]

I ought to.

[B]

I learned them the hard way.

[D]

How's that?

[B]

Did you ever work with a bunch of beautiful models?

[C]

No.

[D]

But if that's what you call the hard way, just lead me to it.

[C]

It is the hard way.

[B]

You work with them, they work on you.

[D]

Is that bad?

[B]

It is if you're a timid spirit, just out of school and from a little town trying to make a go of it alone in the big town.

[D]

Yes, I can see how it might be at that.

[B]

And the younger you are, the rougher these models are. Because they don't like competition. Especially young competition.

[D]

Not truly, of course.

[B]

I'm not talking about all of the Mersin. There are a lot of swell girls.

[C]

But it only takes a few rough.

[B]

Ones to make your life miserable. They come out fighting with no holes barred. And you either learn to fight back or. That's all, brother.

[D]

And you learned to fight back.

[C]

Mm.

[B]

Thanks to Miss Carnegie.

[C]

Who?

[B]

Miss Carnegie.

[C]

Howdy.

[B]

Carnegie. I worked for her.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

At first I was terrified of her, too. Until I got to know her.

[C]

She's.

[B]

She's such a dynamic person.

[D]

Well, how did you happen to go.

[A]

To work for her?

[B]

I've been working for a photographer, Arthur O'. Neill. And he thought Ms. Carnegie might like me. So he sent me to see her. I was wearing something pink and all wrong, left over for my aunt's wedding. Ms. Carnaby took one look at me and said, good grief. But she gave me a chance. She sent me into the showroom in a $5,000 outfit. And when I came out in it, the girl started to give me the dream. She looks like a walking hunger strike. I didn't know they were putting legs on bean poles.

[C]

I guess Ms. Carnegie wants to pick up the skeleton trade. Excuse me. Where did Ms. Carnegie go? Hmm. It's called a. I. Miss Carnegie said she wanted to see.

[B]

Me as soon as I got dressed.

[C]

She's over there, but I'm not sure she'll be able to pitch it. Why not? Oh, stupid. Oh, well. Oh, don't let it get you down, kid. We're only fooling. After all, you're just what we need around here for laughs. Oh, there's Miss Carnaby. All right. Fingers end. Come here, Lynn.

[B]

You.

[C]

Yes, Miss Carnaby.

[B]

When you walk.

[C]

Why, yes, I know it's the wrong. Yes, Miss Patty. Wait a minute. You always walk like that? Why, I'm walking as straight as I can. That's what I mean. Slouch. What? This isn't a military academy. Slouch. Fall apart. Yes, you'll probably much better now walk out there. Yes, you're probably. No, no, no. You're not dragging the coat. Oh, no, ma'. Am. Or drag it. Me.

[B]

That.

[C]

Me. But. But what? Is this really me? Of course. It is. Didn't you ever see a mate before?

[B]

No, Ms. Carnegie.

[C]

Well, don't act like you didn't.

[B]

Yes, ma'.

[C]

Am.

[B]

All right, that's enough.

[C]

Oh, Ms. Carnegie, I'm sorry, I won't do. It's maybe if you lazy a schedule onto. Because at nine in the morning you'll hire.

[D]

Well, Lucille, I'd say that was a pretty uncomfortable beginning.

[C]

It was.

[B]

But as I said, I learned to take it. Before long, I was even standing up to Ms. Thomas.

[C]

Lucille, I want you to put on the organza and I don't like organza. You'll wear the organza. I wear queen, not the pledge. I am the tweety tag. You wear the organza or you're fired. I won't wear the organza. All right then. Get out of here. You're fired. Hello. What the devil are you doing at home? Don't you know it's 9:30? It's like you're watching wildly. Remember? Never mind that. Get down here right away. How do you expect to amount to anything if you spend all day in bed? What? No, Duke, it's all he is. Yes, Ms. Carnegie. You like that outfit, Michelle?

[B]

Oh, yes, Ms. Carnegie, it's beautiful.

[C]

Good. I want you to wear it tonight. Tonight? Yes, after the job crack when you go out. Oh, but I. I couldn't. Why not? Well, I wouldn't have anywhere to wear it. I'm giving a party tonight something. But I feel uncomfortable in it. That's just it. I want you to get used to wearing clothes like that. But Ms. Carnegie. Now that she's a pet. But Ms. Carnegie, I'm not going to do it. Of course you are. I'm not. Well, then take it off. You're tired. Hello. Be sick. Don't, miss carnegie. I'm waiting for you. Yes, miss carnegie. I won't, I won't, I won't. All right, get out. You'll fire? Yes, Ms. Carnegie. You're fired.

[B]

Well, that's the way it went, Ursin. She fired me five times while I worked for her. But always called the next day to bawl me out for not coming to work.

[A]

Must have been a confusion.

[C]

It was.

[D]

Perhaps, Lucille, I should have introduced you as the girl who was always getting fired.

[B]

You don't know how right you are, Risken. Not only was I fired five times by Ms. Carney, but I've been fired by Earl Carroll, Albertina Rash, Schubert, Flozig Ferrell.

[D]

Okay, okay, you've convinced me. By the way, Lucille, did any of Ms. Carnegie's firings ever stick?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

The last one. Let me tell you about it.

[C]

Go right ahead.

[B]

While I was working for Ms. Carnegie, she got me a job on the side posing for posters for big cigarette company. Then one day while I was out to lunch, I met a friend down the street who told me that Samuel Goldwyn was looking for famous poster girls to use in a pitcairn.

[C]

He told me he believed there was.

[B]

Still one spot open. So instead of going to lunch, I went to see Goldwyn's New York representative.

[C]

Yes, I'm Lucille Ball.

[B]

Yes, I understand there's an opening in.

[C]

Mickey Goldwyn's poster girl picture. Yeah, well, I'm a poster girl. That is our gun posters. That is a cigarette poster.

[A]

That is height.

[C]

What?

[A]

What's your height?

[C]

Oh, five feet six.

[A]

Weight?

[B]

128.

[C]

18.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Here. What's this?

[A]

Can't you read? It's a ticket to Hollywood. You're leaving Saturday night.

[C]

Oh. Oh, Ms. Carnegie. Ms. Carnegie, what is missile? I, I. Oh, nothing. What do you mean, nothing?

[B]

I've changed my mind.

[C]

About what? Nothing. Missile, will you tell me what you're talking about before I go crazy? Well, it's just. Well, I got an offer to go to Hollywood. To be impatient? Yes. But I don't think I ought to leave you.

[A]

Why not?

[C]

Well, you've been so good to me. None. Can't you grab that offer? Why do you think I've been interested in you? Because I thought you'd be here in the shop all your life. I knew you were going places. Lucille. This is what I've been waiting for. But, Ms. Carnegie. And don't argue. But, Ms. Carnegie. I said don't argue. Now, go on, get out of here. And this time I mean it. You see? You. You're fired.

[D]

So you were fired into a Hollywood contract?

[B]

Before I left, Ms. Carnaby even gave me a lot of clothes to wear when I came out here.

[D]

She must be a wonderful woman, Lucille.

[B]

She certainly is.

[D]

Thank you very much, Lucille Ball, for being with us tonight and for your story. And if getting fired does for me.

[A]

What it did for you, I hope.

[D]

I lose my job.

[A]

But quit.

[D]

We're all looking forward to your new Metro golden man, Fiction without love. I'll be back in a moment with.

[A]

Some Hollywood news and the name of.

[D]

Our guest for next week. But first, here's Jim Doyle.

[A]

Some women seem to have the secret of eternal youth, or rather, of eternal charm.

[D]

Others.

[A]

Well, look, there's sally in her 20s. But don't her hands look older? Sally's careless. She Lets her hands get rough. Of course, they look too old, but busy Mrs. B, in her 50s, has the gracious, smooth, soft hands that are attractive at any age. Ask Mrs. B how she keeps her hands tonight. She's had years of housekeeping.

[C]

It's nice of you to compliment me.

[B]

On my hands, but they look smooth and cared for.

[A]

Is thanks to Jurgens lotion.

[C]

I've used Juergens for years.

[B]

I keep an extra bottle in my kitchen, so I'll always remember to use my Jurgens lotion.

[A]

No wonder Mrs. B's hands are so attractive. Regular care with Jurgens lotion is like professional care for your hands. Two ingredients in Jergens are so amazing in the way they help rough in the fascinating softness and the smooth youth look that many doctors prescribe them. Yet no hand care could be simpler. No stickiness.

[D]

Price $0.10 to $1 plus tax.

[A]

If you want the pride and pleasure of beautifully cared for hands, be sure and use Jergens lotion. And now, here's Erskine Johnson again with the Hollywood News.

[D]

Biggest news tonight in Hollywood is that Barry Fitzgerald, nominated for two Academy Awards, may turn down one of them. Barry, I hear, is considering withdrawing, if possible, from the race for the best performance of 1944 in going my Way. He'll campaign instead for Bing Crosby and.

[A]

Will be content for the nomination for.

[D]

The best supporting performance in the same picture. Constance Bennett will take up residence in Reno early next month to divorce her husband, actor Gilbert Roland. Incidentally, since turning producer la, Bennett is now known in the Hollywoods as the woman busier than Eleanor. There's no rest for the famous in movie town Day after completing work in a new picture, the Dog Star, Lassie, was loaned by MGM studio to a Los Angeles dog channel to sire three litters of little Lassie. Students at the Santa Barbara, California high school have selected what they call the ideal faculty. Dean of girls is Van Johnson. Dean of boys, Bob Hope. Home nursing instructor, Lana Turner.

[B]

How about me as head of the department for getting fired? Now, Erskine, who will be your guest next week?

[D]

Our guest next week, Lucille, will be Frances Langford with her story, the Girl.

[A]

Who Makes Eleanor Mad.

[D]

Until next week then, Mrs. Erskine Johnson saying good night from Hollywood for Jurgens Lotion.

[A]

This is pbs, the Columbia Broadcasting System.

[C]

That.