Episode Overview

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode Title: Falstaff's Fables 5xxxxx 50 The Brave Little Tailor
Date: August 17, 2025
Theme:
This episode features a delightful retelling of “The Brave Little Tailor,” presented in a whimsical, poetic style by Falstaff Openshaw and his entourage. Set in the vintage tradition of radio storytelling, listeners are treated to a clever, humor-infused moral fable, peppered with period charm, puns, and signature candy bar promotions. Listeners experience both a homage to classic family entertainment and a gentle moral lesson.

Key Discussion Points and Highlights

1. The Introduction of Falstaff and the Fable (00:33–01:21)

• The program is introduced with characteristic flair, positioning Falstaff Openshaw as “radio's famous poet.”
• Heavy and playful product placement for Milky Way candy bars, melding sponsor messages seamlessly with the narrative tone.

2. Setting the Scene: A Tailor and His Feat (01:21–02:26)

• Falstaff (Speaker B) announces the night’s fable about “a tailor and the giant he went forth to hit,” employing punny banter with Falstaff Jr.
• Jokes abound about tailoring and tailoring puns:
  • “I suppose he gave him a fit.”
    — Falstaff Jr. (D), (01:36)
  • “No, he did nothing of the kind, nor any of the other jokes there in your mind. He didn't cut him out, sew him up, or even follow suit, though the way that he did do it was not really quite cute.”
    — Falstaff (B), (01:38)

3. Milky Way Advertisements, Seamlessly Woven (01:53–02:26)

• Another cleverly rhymed plug for Milky Way, blending the fable's narrative voice with 1950s commercial cheer:
  • “For a candy treat that's always grand. There's only two words you need say... Remember those words. Milky Way.”
    — Falstaff (B), (02:07–02:16)

4. The Fable: The Brave Little Tailor Retold (02:26–04:21)

Swatting Flies…or Men? (02:36–02:56)

• The tailor, in his tiny shop, kills “seven” flies with one blow, then boasts loudly.
• The passing mayor mishears and thinks the tailor killed seven men.
  • “Mein boy, said the mayor. I didn't thus vet you killed seven men. That's stupendous. Have you heard of the giant that's been so defiant? Go kill him at once. He's tremendous.”
    — Falstaff (B), (02:56–03:15)

The Giant and the Great Garment Bargain (03:20–03:45)

• The tailor, trembling, confronts the enormous giant (300 feet tall!), and, rather than fight, offers to make a giant-sized suit:
  • “Let's us make a trade. Would you scram if I made a nice giant sized suit of clothing?”
    — Falstaff Jr. (D), (03:42)
  • “It's a deal. Here’s some cloth you can use. A tent from Barnum and Bailey.”
    — Falstaff (B), (03:45)

Victory by Ingenuity, Not Force (03:45–04:15)

• The tailor crafts the suit, the giant leaves, and the townsfolk celebrate their new “hero.”
  • “The giant is gone, the tailor told the town... Why, I gave him a belt on the back and also a cuff on the pants.”
    — Falstaff (B), (04:00–04:08)
• Final moral, blending honesty with a wink:
  • “You see, it sure pays to tell the truth.”
    — Falstaff Jr. (D), (04:15)

5. Closing Rhymes and Final Jokes (04:21–04:58)

• A parting poetic swipe at classic nursery rhymes:

  • “Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack jump over the candlestick—that's a waste of time, I'd say. Settle down, Jack, eat a Milky Way. Good night.”
    — Falstaff (B), (04:21–04:33)

• The episode wraps with credits and a final Milky Way jingle.

Notable Quotes and Moments

• Tailoring Banter and Puns:

  • “He didn't cut him out, sew him up or even follow suit, though the way he did do it was not really quite cute.”
    — Falstaff (B), 01:38

• Creative Problem-Solving:

  • “Let's us make a trade. Would you scram if I made a nice giant sized suit of clothing?”
    — Falstaff Jr. (D), 03:42

• Cheeky Morality:

  • “You see, it sure pays to tell the truth.”
    — Falstaff Jr. (D), 04:15

• Signature Wrap-Up:

  • “Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Settle down, Jack, eat a Milky Way. Good night.”
    — Falstaff (B), 04:21–04:33

Timestamps for Key Segments

• (00:33) — Show and Milky Way intro
• (01:21) — Introducing “The Brave Little Tailor”
• (02:36) — The tailor swats seven flies
• (02:56) — The mayor mixes up “flies” for “men”; challenges the tailor
• (03:42) — The crafty trade with the giant
• (04:00) — Giant leaves, tailor celebrated
• (04:15) — Moral: “It sure pays to tell the truth.”
• (04:21–04:33) — Jack be nimble / Milky Way outro rhyme

Conclusion

This lively episode offers a humorous, pun-filled retelling of a classic tale, with delightfully persistent product plugs that evoke the golden age of radio. The playful poetry, inventive storytelling, and an ever-present wink at the audience make "The Brave Little Tailor" both a nostalgic treat and a charming lesson in both honesty and creative problem-solving.