Father Knows Best 50-05-25 (040) Superstitious Folk

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio - "Father Knows Best 50-05-25 (040) Superstitious Folk"

Episode Information

• Title: Father Knows Best 50-05-25 (040) Superstitious Folk
• Host/Author: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Release Date: July 14, 2025
• Description: This episode delves into the dynamics of the Anderson family as they navigate the clash between superstition and rationality during Jim Anderson's trip to Chicago. Set against the backdrop of the Golden Age of Radio, the story intertwines family humor with timeless themes of belief and skepticism.

---

Introduction

The episode opens with the Anderson family preparing for Jim Anderson's (the patriarch) impending trip to Chicago. The Smith-Family sitcom ambiance is palpable, capturing the essence of pre-television family life centered around the radio.

Plot Overview

1. Packing and Preparations

• Jim Anderson is meticulously packing for his three-day trip, leading to a humorous yet tense exchange with his wife, Margaret Anderson.

• Margaret insists that Jim take extra socks and shirts, showcasing her superstitious tendencies. Jim counters with his pragmatic approach, valuing logic over superstition.

  Jim Anderson [02:23]: "But, honey, I've got to look neat. All the big shots from the home office will be there."

  Margaret Anderson [02:11]: "All right, all right, put them in. I'll have enough socks for everybody at the whole convention."

2. The Superstition Debate

• The crux of the episode revolves around the family's differing views on superstition.

• Bud Anderson, their son, seeks his father's help to buy a new baseball bat, believing it will break his hitting slump. Jim dismisses the idea, attributing success to skill rather than luck.

  Bud Anderson [03:16]: "The worst kind."

  Jim Anderson [03:57]: "Luck? Superstitious twaddle. If you can't get a hit with the old bat, you won't get one with a new one, either."

• Kathy Anderson, their daughter, gets embroiled in the superstition debate when a fortune-teller, Janie Liggett, warns her about dating a "tall, dark man." This prophecy leads to familial strife as Jim interprets it literally.

  Kathy Anderson [05:36]: "Janie said to be careful of a tall, dark man."

  Jim Anderson [05:52]: "If he's 8ft tall and has hair made of licorice, you're still going out with him."

3. The Missing Hat and Unlucky Events

• A pivotal moment occurs when Jim realizes his cherished gray hat is missing. Margaret reveals she gave it to Mr. Adams, the junk man, deeming it worn out.

  Jim Anderson [08:40]: "Margaret, how could you do a thing like that to me? That was my luck."

• The absence of the hat coincides with a series of unfortunate events:

  • Bud sustains another injury, attributing it to the superstitious belief that a bat with "no hits" brings bad luck.
  • Kathy's attempt to make everyone lucky backfires when she inadvertently breaks a window with a horseshoe.

  Jim Anderson [21:34]: "Look, Kathy, let's examine this thing calmly and with simple logic. Why is a horseshoe lucky?"

4. The Climax: Misunderstandings and Confrontations

• Tensions escalate when Betty Anderson (possibly another daughter or relative) is involved with Charlie Davis, a "tall, dark man," leading to misunderstandings fueled by superstition.

• The family's attempts to rectify the situation only deepen the confusion, culminating in a humorous yet heartfelt confrontation.

  Jim Anderson [23:15]: "I didn't say it was Charlie. I said he was tall and dark and Janie Liggett said I was going to have trouble, but you wouldn't listen."

  Margaret Anderson [24:21]: "It is important. We're supposed to be a healthy, normal American family. And what happened to us? We've become involved in a bunch of old world superstitions."

5. Resolution and Reconciliation

• Mr. Adams returns with not only Jim's hat but also a miraculous improvement in his own fortunes, having won the Irish sweepstakes thanks to the hat.

• The family begins to reconcile, recognizing the blend of superstition and logic that shapes their lives.

  Ed Davis [25:28]: "I just won the Irish sweepstakes."

  Jim Anderson [27:39]: "With his family like this. I guess I made them sit up and take notice right in front of everybody."

Key Themes and Discussions

Superstition vs. Rationality

The primary theme explores the tension between traditional superstitions and modern rational thought. Jim embodies the rationalist, dismissing superstitions as "poppycock," while Margaret and the children hold onto various superstitious beliefs, influencing their decisions and interactions.

Family Dynamics and Communication

The episode highlights how differing beliefs can strain familial relationships. Misunderstandings arise from unspoken assumptions and the inability to reconcile differing viewpoints, leading to comedic yet poignant moments.

Luck and Personal Agency

Bud's reliance on a new bat for improving his baseball performance juxtaposes the idea of luck against skill and hard work. The episode questions the extent to which luck influences personal success.

Notable Quotes

• Jim Anderson [07:05]: "Superstitious? What is superstition got to do with it?"

• Margaret Anderson [07:32]: "Now just a moment, Jim Anderson, you have just as many silly little superstitions as anyone else."

• Kathy Anderson [21:17]: "Father, how could you do this to me? How could you?"

• Ed Davis [25:44]: "I just won the Irish sweepstakes."

Conclusion

"Superstitious Folk" presents a humorous yet insightful look into how deeply ingrained beliefs can impact family dynamics. Through the Anderson family's interactions, the episode underscores the importance of understanding and communication in bridging generational and ideological gaps. Ultimately, the resolution hints at a balanced approach, acknowledging both the charm and folly of superstition in modern life.

For listeners unfamiliar with this episode, "Superstitious Folk" offers a nostalgic journey into family life, blending timeless humor with relatable conflicts. It serves as a reminder of the enduring nature of certain familial debates and the universal quest to find harmony between tradition and progress.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

It is Ryan here and I have.

[Jim Anderson]

A question for you.

[Ryan Seacrest]

What do you do when you win? Like, are you a fist pumper, a woohooer, a hand clap or a high fiver? If you want to hone in on those winning moves, check out Shamba Casino. Choose from hundreds of social casino style games for your chance to redeem serious cash prizes. There are new game releases weekly plus free daily bonuses. So don't wait. Start having the most Fun [e-mail] no purchase necessary.

[Jim Anderson]

VGW Group void. We're prohibited by law 21/ terms and conditions apply.

[Kathy Anderson]

Mother, is Maxwell House really the only coffee in the world?

[Margaret Anderson]

Well, your father says so and your father knows best.

[Ed Davis]

Yes, it's Father Knows Best transcribed in Hollywood starring Robert Young, his father. A half hour visit with your neighbors, the Andersons, brought to you by America's favorite coffee, Maxwell House. The coffee that's always good to the last drop. Since the dark beginnings of time, superstition has played a dismal part in the fumbling progress of man. We, however, live in an enlightened age. And thank goodness we've thrown off the yoke of ignorant superstition. Well, I mean, knocking on wood isn't really a superstition. You do it just because. Well, anyway. In Springfield, in the white frame house on Maple street, we find Jim Anderson packing for a trip to Chicago. And for a change, everything is peaceful and quiet.

[Jim Anderson]

Like this.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, it certainly won't hurt to take them along.

[Jim Anderson]

Margaret, I'm only going to be gone three days. How many pairs of socks do you think I can wear?

[Margaret Anderson]

Well, you never can tell, dear, and it's best to be on the safe side.

[Jim Anderson]

12 pairs of socks. Anybody think I was going to Alaska for the entire winter?

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, they weigh practically nothing and I certainly.

[Jim Anderson]

All right, all right, put them in. I'll have enough socks for everybody at the whole convention. Dad. We're upstairs, bud.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, you don't need all those shirts.

[Jim Anderson]

What do you mean, all those shirts? I'm only taking six.

[Margaret Anderson]

But you'll only be away three days. You said so yourself.

[Jim Anderson]

But honey, I've got to look neat. All the big shots from the home office will be there.

[Margaret Anderson]

I think three shirts are quite enough. You just have to be a little careful, that's all.

[Jim Anderson]

Okay. Three shirts. Fine thing. A man can't even pack the bag the way he wants to.

[Bud Anderson]

Say, dad, can I talk to you for a minute?

[Jim Anderson]

About what? Well, handkerchiefs. Mustn't forget handkerchief.

[Margaret Anderson]

I've already put them in there.

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, thank You. Well, what is it, Bud?

[Bud Anderson]

Could I have $3?

[Jim Anderson]

No. What happened to that bottle opener I had in the top drawer?

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, if it's going to be that kind of convention.

[Jim Anderson]

It isn't, Margaret. But I just thought. Well, never mind.

[Bud Anderson]

Dad.

[Jim Anderson]

But I said no.

[Bud Anderson]

I know, dad, but this is an emergency.

[Jim Anderson]

What kind of an emergency?

[Bud Anderson]

The worst kind.

[Jim Anderson]

I've never known you to have any other. Why do you need $3?

[Bud Anderson]

Well, it's for the baseball team. I need another bat.

[Jim Anderson]

You mean you've broken the old one already?

[Bud Anderson]

No, but. Well, I. I think I've used up all the hits.

[Jim Anderson]

You what?

[Bud Anderson]

I'm in an awful slump, Dad. I haven't had a hit in two weeks. And if I can just buy a bat with some hits in it.

[Jim Anderson]

That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life. You've got a perfectly good bat. Why waste $3 on another one?

[Bud Anderson]

But, dad, I've got to do something to change my luck.

[Jim Anderson]

Luck? Superstitious twaddle. If you can't get a hit with the old bat, you won't get one with a new one, either.

[Bud Anderson]

But, dad.

[Jim Anderson]

Particularly if I have to pay for it. Well, I guess I'm all packed.

[Margaret Anderson]

You haven't forgotten anything, have you, dear?

[Jim Anderson]

I don't think so, but how about taking the bag downstairs like a good fellow?

[Bud Anderson]

Okay. But look, dad, we're playing a very important game this afternoon.

[Margaret Anderson]

Just a moment, Bud.

[Kathy Anderson]

What is it, Kathy? I don't care what she says. You can't go. Mother, Betty says I can't go to the club with her this afternoon. And you said I could.

[Margaret Anderson]

I said I'd ask her, dear.

[Kathy Anderson]

Mother, it's bad enough going out with a boy I don't even know, but if I have to drag her along. They're going to play tennis and I want to watch.

[Jim Anderson]

Kathy, if Betty says you can't go, then you can't go. Now, stop arguing.

[Kathy Anderson]

You love her more than you love me. That's why you're always sticking up for her.

[Jim Anderson]

I'm not sticking up for anybody. You can watch Bud play baseball. No. What?

[Bud Anderson]

Holy cow. Dad, you don't know what you're doing.

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, I don't, huh?

[Bud Anderson]

She's worse than a black cat. She's worse than an umpire.

[Jim Anderson]

Now, listen.

[Ed Davis]

But there's no reason.

[Bud Anderson]

But, dad, you've never heard her. She sounds like a fire siren. She gets both teams rattled.

[Kathy Anderson]

Bunch of sand lotters.

[Margaret Anderson]

It's all right, Kathy. You can stay home with me this afternoon.

[Kathy Anderson]

But I want to do Something.

[Margaret Anderson]

We'll find something to do.

[Jim Anderson]

How about the bag, Bud?

[Bud Anderson]

Okay. Not having enough trouble, they want me to take her along.

[Kathy Anderson]

Father.

[Jim Anderson]

What is it?

[Kathy Anderson]

Betty, is Mr. Davis's nephew tall and dark?

[Jim Anderson]

How do I know? I've never even seen him. What difference does it make anyway?

[Kathy Anderson]

Well, Janie Liggett told my fortune yesterday. And the card said to be careful of a tall, dark man. And if he's tall and dark, Betty.

[Jim Anderson]

If he's 8ft tall and has hair made of licorice, you're still going out with him. He's only going to be in town this weekend. And I gave Ed Davis my word. Most idiotic thing I've ever heard in my life. Just because Janie Liggett hasn't got a brain in her head.

[Kathy Anderson]

It wasn't Janie's idea, Father. She has a fortune telling set. And it's wonderful. It costs $4.

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, pardon me. I thought it was one of the cheap two dollar sets.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, I know you're going to say it's silly, but I did have a dream about a wedding last night.

[Jim Anderson]

Margaret, not you too.

[Margaret Anderson]

Well, you remember my Grandmother Williams, the Hottentot kid. Jim, Grandmother Williams was a very sweet woman. And she said when you dream of a wedding, it means trouble.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, that depends on who's getting married.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim.

[Jim Anderson]

You certainly don't believe in that poppycock, do you?

[Margaret Anderson]

Well, no, but if Betty's going to feel uneasy.

[Jim Anderson]

Feel uneasy about what? Since when is a dream something to be afraid of?

[Kathy Anderson]

I'm not afraid of dreams, Daddy.

[Jim Anderson]

Nine years old and she's the only intelligent one in the whole house. You're a very sensible little girl, Kathy.

[Kathy Anderson]

I'm not afraid of anything. Cause I've got a lucky penny and a rabbit's foot and a horseshoe and.

[Jim Anderson]

Margaret, what's gotten into this family anyway? These aren't the Middle Ages. This is the 20th century. We're supposed to be intelligent human beings.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, it's not that we believe in these things.

[Jim Anderson]

And what does it mean? All this twaddle about dreams and fortune tellers and bats with hips in them? You sound like a bunch of Stone Age simpletons.

[Kathy Anderson]

Why, Father.

[Margaret Anderson]

Now just a moment, Jim Anderson, you have just as many silly little superstitions as anyone else.

[Jim Anderson]

I certainly do not.

[Margaret Anderson]

You most certainly do.

[Jim Anderson]

Kathy.

[Kathy Anderson]

Yes, Daddy?

[Jim Anderson]

Go downstairs and help Bud.

[Kathy Anderson]

What's he doing?

[Jim Anderson]

How do I know what he's doing? Go downstairs and find out and help him. Gee. Well, now see here, Margaret.

[Margaret Anderson]

Yes?

[Jim Anderson]

In my time I've walked under hundreds of ladders broken, thousands of mirrors ignored, millions of black cats, and if you can call that being superstitious.

[Kathy Anderson]

I'll bet that's Charlie.

[Jim Anderson]

Who?

[Kathy Anderson]

Charlie Davis. And Father, if he's tall and dark.

[Jim Anderson]

Betty.

[Kathy Anderson]

But, Father, Janie said.

[Jim Anderson]

I don't care what Janie said. You are going out with Charlie Davis.

[Margaret Anderson]

Oh, pooh.

[Bud Anderson]

Betty, it's for you.

[Jim Anderson]

She'll be right down, Bud. Go ahead.

[Kathy Anderson]

Betty, if this is the 20th century, why do I have to be treated like somebody slain?

[Jim Anderson]

I don't know what's gotten into that girl.

[Margaret Anderson]

What are you looking for, dear?

[Jim Anderson]

My gray hat was right up here on the shelf.

[Margaret Anderson]

It's downstairs in the hall closet.

[Jim Anderson]

Yeah, I mean my old gray hat, the one I always wear to conventions.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, it was all worn out. It was dirty and the ribbon was faded.

[Jim Anderson]

Margaret, what did you do with my hat?

[Margaret Anderson]

Well, I gave it to Mr. Adams.

[Jim Anderson]

Mister? You mean the junk man?

[Margaret Anderson]

Yes, dear.

[Ed Davis]

You gave my hat to the junk man?

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, you have a brand new hat.

[Jim Anderson]

Margaret, how could you do a thing like that to me? That was my luck. I mean, how could you?

[Margaret Anderson]

But you said.

[Jim Anderson]

I've worn that hat to conventions for 15 years. You know I never go to a convention without it. What were you thinking of?

[Kathy Anderson]

Father? He is tall and he's got the blackest hair you ever saw. I won't go with him, and you can't make me.

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, I can't, can't I? Betty Anderson, you'll go out with that boy or you'll never go out again.

[Kathy Anderson]

But, Father.

[Jim Anderson]

Enough trouble. Give a man's hat away at a time like this.

[Margaret Anderson]

Betty, after all, your father knows best. And if he.

[Kathy Anderson]

All right, I'll go. But if anything happens to me, you'll have no one to blame but yourself.

[Margaret Anderson]

Betty, your father's going away. Aren't you going to say goodbye?

[Kathy Anderson]

Sure, goodbye. And I hope you have a very nice time.

[Jim Anderson]

Most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. A perfectly good hat sitting up on a shelf, not hurting a soul.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, you said you weren't superstitious.

[Jim Anderson]

Superstitious? What is superstition got to do with it? I like that hat. It was the best hat I've ever.

[Margaret Anderson]

Had, but it was all worn out.

[Jim Anderson]

It was a perfect hat for going to conventions, and you know it, Bud.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim.

[Bud Anderson]

You want me, dad?

[Ed Davis]

Get Mr. Adams on the phone.

[Bud Anderson]

Oh, Mr. Adams, the junk man.

[Jim Anderson]

Tell him I want my gray hat back.

[Bud Anderson]

It's in the closet, dad.

[Jim Anderson]

My old gray hat. Tell him I'll give him $5 for it.

[Bud Anderson]

For that hat, Bud. Okay, dad.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, you're being very foolish about this whole thing.

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, I am, am I? Just because I have a lucky. Just because I happen to like a certain hat, I'm being foolish. That's fine, Jim.

[Margaret Anderson]

Your train leaves in less than an hour.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, let it leave. I'll take a plane, a walk. But until Mr. Adams comes back with my hat, I'm not going to. What is it, Kathy?

[Kathy Anderson]

Mr. Davis is here.

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, no. What does he want? I'll be right down, Ed. Take your time, Jim.

[Ed Davis]

No hurry.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, please don't make a fuss in front of Ed.

[Jim Anderson]

Of course not. You know I've got better sense than that.

[Margaret Anderson]

I do?

[Jim Anderson]

Well, I guess I've got everything except my hat.

[Margaret Anderson]

I don't understand, Jim. After that long speech you made about dreams and fortune telling.

[Jim Anderson]

Margaret, my hat has nothing to do with dreams and fortune tellers. Isn't a question of superstition anything like that. I merely want my hat. And in the future, will you please leave my things alone?

[Margaret Anderson]

Yes, dear.

[Jim Anderson]

I'm not asking for anything unusual. Just don't give my hats to the junk man.

[Margaret Anderson]

All right, dear.

[Jim Anderson]

Jim, I'm sorry to barge in at a time like this. I know you must be kind of busy. Well, it's all right.

[Margaret Anderson]

How are you, Ed?

[Jim Anderson]

Fine, Margaret. Just fine. Jim, I have some property in Chicago, and I wonder if you'll do me a big favor while you're there. Sure, Ann. I'll be glad to.

[Bud Anderson]

Dad, Mr. Adams wasn't there.

[Jim Anderson]

That's impossible. He must be there.

[Bud Anderson]

Okay. But Mrs. Adams said he wasn't. She's going to see if she can find him.

[Jim Anderson]

Margaret, now do you see what you've done?

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, you said.

[Jim Anderson]

I know what I said, but. Good grief. Anything wrong, Jim? Everything's wrong. We've had nothing but trouble all day. My good hat's gone, the junk man's gone. Bet he didn't even want to go out with your nephew just because he's tall and dark. You mean Charlie? Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous? I don't understand. Oh, Janie Liggett has some kind of an idiotic set that tells fortunes, and she told Betty. I understand that part all right. Used to be quite a hand with a Ouija board. But I don't understand about Charlie. Oh, there's nothing to worry about, Ed. She went with him even though he is tall and dark. But he isn't. Charlie's short and he has red hair.

[Margaret Anderson]

Oh, no.

[Ed Davis]

Good news about coffee. You've been seeing it in stores everywhere in recent weeks. Seeing lower Prices on Maxwell House coffee.

[Jim Anderson]

And the news gets better and better.

[Ed Davis]

Because grocers today are featuring Maxwell House at the lowest prices in months. Yes, you'll find the lowest prices in months on the coffee with that wonderful.

[Jim Anderson]

Good to the last drop flavor.

[Ed Davis]

A welcome occasion for everybody. You, your grocer, and for us at Maxwell House too. You see, we have one aim with our coffee. To bring you the most in flavor and enjoyment.

[Jim Anderson]

Every pound you buy.

[Ed Davis]

To bring you truly good coffee at.

[Jim Anderson]

The lowest possible price.

[Ed Davis]

That's our way of doing business. And seems you folks like it. You've made our Maxwell House coffee America's favorite brand. Because you can count on that famous.

[Jim Anderson]

Flavor every cup you pour.

[Ed Davis]

Because you find more flavor for your money vacuum packed in that familiar blue tin. And at today's prices, Maxwell Houses more than ever. Today's coffee buy look for it featured these days at the lowest prices in months. Enjoy the coffee that's always good to the last drop. Double, double, toil and trouble. Fire burn and cauldron bubble. It's a far cry from the witches of Macbeth to the Andersons of Springfield. But not as far as you might think. An hour has passed and the situation is altered only slightly. Bud is out playing baseball. Kathy is out playing. Well, whatever it is that nine year old girls play. But in the white frame house on Maple street, the air is charged with nervous tension. Not a word has been heard from Betty and the Andersons. And Ed Davis could do nothing but wait.

[Jim Anderson]

Like this. Don't like this. Don't like it at all. Look, Ed, I don't care what you do, but do something. Well, let's try this. Hmm, let me see now, Jim, I.

[Margaret Anderson]

Don'T understand how you can sit there at a time like this and play canasta.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It is Ryan Seacrest here. There was a recent social media trend which consisted of flying on a plane with no music, no movies, no entertainment. But a better trend would be going to chumbacasino.com it's like having a mini social casino in your pocket. Chumba casino has over 100 online casino style games, all absolutely free. It's the most fun you can have online and on a plane. So grab your free welcome bonus [e-mail] sponsored by Chumba Casino.

[Jim Anderson]

No purchase necessary VGW Group void. We're prohibited by law 21/ terms and conditions apply.

[Unknown]

Starting a business can be overwhelming. You're juggling multiple roles, designer, marketer, logistics manager, all while bringing your vision to life. But for millions of businesses, Shopify is The ultimate partner. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world. 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands just getting started. Build a stunning online store with Shopify's ready to use templates Boost content with AI powered product descriptions, page headlines and enhanced photography. Marketing is easy with built in tools for email and social media campaigns. Plus, Shopify simplifies everything from inventory to shipping and returns. If you're ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify. Turn your big business idea into With Shopify on your side, Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com try go to shopify.com try shopify.com try.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, what do you want me to do? Margaret? We haven't left a stone unturned. We've called all our friends, the club, all the authorities, and they've promised to let us know the second either one of them turns up.

[Margaret Anderson]

There must be someone else we can call.

[Jim Anderson]

Like who? I'm not even sure calling the police was such a good idea. Jim, you've got to understand my position. After all, Charlie is my nephew and we don't know where he is, the idiot. We don't know where Betty is or how the boy with the dark hair got into it. Very confusing. Whose turn is it? Well, the whole thing is certainly nothing to worry about. Just because Janie Liggett is a superstitious little twerp.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, after all the fuss you made about your hat, how can you call anyone superstitious?

[Jim Anderson]

My hat has nothing to do with it, and I didn't make a fuss.

[Margaret Anderson]

Then why did you miss your train?

[Jim Anderson]

Because I decided to fly. I wanted to find out what happened to Betty, that's all. Nothing complicated about it. And it has nothing to do with superstition. I guarantee that when Betty shows up, there'll be a perfectly logical explanation of the whole thing.

[Margaret Anderson]

Well, I hope you're right.

[Jim Anderson]

Of course I'm right. Go ahead, Ed. It's your turn. You haven't put down a card. Oh, well, just a minute. Certainly taking long enough. I have a right to think about it, don't I? Just don't rush me.

[Ed Davis]

You know, when I was a boy.

[Jim Anderson]

We lived in an old house on the north side and the place was simply crawling with ghosts. Well, one day. Wait a minute, Ed. Don't tell me you believe in ghosts. Why not? Well, it's ridiculous. Everybody knows there's no such thing. Oh, they do, do they? Well, let me tell you Jim, there.

[Ed Davis]

Wasn'T a night went by.

[Kathy Anderson]

Betty, it's me, Mom.

[Jim Anderson]

I'm sorry, Ed. What are you doing home? Bud thought you're going to play baseball.

[Bud Anderson]

Well, I started to play, but. Gosh, Dad, I told you that bat wasn't any good.

[Margaret Anderson]

Bud, what on earth happened to your eye?

[Jim Anderson]

You God. Another shiner. Bud, have you been fighting again?

[Bud Anderson]

I got hit with a baseball.

[Jim Anderson]

That's great. You know, if this keeps up, you're going to have that eye worn out.

[Bud Anderson]

I couldn't help it, Dad. I asked you to let me buy another bat.

[Jim Anderson]

You were hit with a ball. What does a bat have to do with it?

[Bud Anderson]

Well, they took me out for a pinch of hitter. And while I was sitting on the bench, I got hit in the eye.

[Jim Anderson]

There, you see? That's what you get for being superstitious.

[Margaret Anderson]

Why aren't you on the train?

[Jim Anderson]

Who said anything about a train?

[Margaret Anderson]

Trained, Jim, but is only doing the things you taught him.

[Jim Anderson]

I taught him? When did I teach him anything about a bat with no hits in it?

[Margaret Anderson]

Well, it amounts to the same thing. That's because you're concerned over a silly old hat.

[Jim Anderson]

I'm not concerned about my hat. The hat has nothing to do with it. And Margaret, will you please stop changing the subject? Oh, no, not again. What was that, the glazier's delight? Kathy.

[Margaret Anderson]

Bud, tell Kathy to come in here, please.

[Bud Anderson]

Okay. Tells me I can't get a new bat and then blames the whole thing on me.

[Jim Anderson]

As I was saying, Jim, we had a rocking chair in our living room.

[Ed Davis]

And every night it went back and.

[Jim Anderson]

Forth, back and forth, back and forth. What does that prove? Well, it certainly wasn't moving all by itself. You know, Ed, you certainly have some very peculiar ideas. I don't see anything peculiar about him at all. And if you weren't so doggone stubborn. Stubborn? Me? You're the one who's being stubborn. I'll show you a dozen books that prove there's no such thing as a ghost. And I'll show you two dozen books that prove there are.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, my grandmother Williams said that when she was a girl.

[Jim Anderson]

Now there's a great authority for you. A dame who spent half her life running around with Hottentots.

[Margaret Anderson]

She was a very strange. And you have no right to make fun of her.

[Jim Anderson]

I'm not making fun of her. I'm merely trying to tell you that superstition is silly.

[Margaret Anderson]

Where did you get that hat?

[Jim Anderson]

What?

[Kathy Anderson]

Oh, nothing.

[Margaret Anderson]

I was just thinking.

[Bud Anderson]

Come on, will ya?

[Kathy Anderson]

Well, stop pulling me. Why do you always have to pull me.

[Ed Davis]

Daddy.

[Jim Anderson]

What did you do out there?

[Kathy Anderson]

I couldn't help it, Daddy. I was trying to make everybody lucky.

[Bud Anderson]

She heaved a horseshoe through the garage window.

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, fine. We just had it fixed.

[Kathy Anderson]

But Daddy, I was worried about Betty and they told me if I threw it over my right shoulder.

[Bud Anderson]

Your left shoulder, dopey.

[Kathy Anderson]

Oh, well, no wonder.

[Jim Anderson]

Kathy, do you see what you've done?

[Margaret Anderson]

She was just trying to be helpful, dear.

[Jim Anderson]

Sure, and I'm going to be sent back another $4.20 for a window.

[Kathy Anderson]

But Daddy, they said it was lucky.

[Jim Anderson]

Who said it was lucky?

[Kathy Anderson]

The man who fixed the window.

[Jim Anderson]

Look, Kathy, let's examine this thing calmly and with simple logic. Why is a horseshoe lucky?

[Kathy Anderson]

Well, everybody says it is.

[Jim Anderson]

Horses have millions of them. And are they lucky?

[Kathy Anderson]

Some of them are.

[Jim Anderson]

That idiotic rabbit's foot you carry around. Where's the rabbit it used to belong to? Did it bring him any luck?

[Kathy Anderson]

Well, he was lucky while he had.

[Jim Anderson]

Didn't keep him from getting shot, did it? He had four feet. Four nice lucky rabbits feet. He still got shot.

[Kathy Anderson]

He must have looked at the moon over the wrong shoulder.

[Jim Anderson]

Now look, Kathy.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim. I'll answer, dear, if it's Betty. Please don't lose your temper.

[Jim Anderson]

Silliest family I've ever seen. I think we were living in the Middle Ages. Horseshoes and rabbits feet.

[Kathy Anderson]

Father, how could you do this to me? How could you?

[Jim Anderson]

You get inside. I'll talk to you later. Officer.

[Ed Davis]

We found her at Crandall's Drugstore, Mr. Anderson. She was having a soda and he.

[Kathy Anderson]

Wouldn'T even let me finish.

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, well, sorry you were put to all this trouble, Officer. I'll see that it doesn't happen again.

[Ed Davis]

That's okay.

[Jim Anderson]

We're used to it.

[Kathy Anderson]

Jim, is it Betty? Mother, why did you do this to me? Having me dragged home by the police and everybody looking at me.

[Margaret Anderson]

Darling, we were so worried.

[Jim Anderson]

Where's Charlie? What did you do with that rattle brained redhead?

[Ed Davis]

Did you want the boys? Nobody told me to bring them.

[Jim Anderson]

You mean there were two of them?

[Kathy Anderson]

Father, why didn't you listen to me? I told you I didn't want to go with Tommy.

[Jim Anderson]

You said it was Charlie.

[Kathy Anderson]

I didn't say it was Charlie. I said he was tall and dark and Janie Liggett said I was going to have trouble, but you wouldn't listen.

[Jim Anderson]

I'm sorry I listened in the first place. Who was the other boy?

[Kathy Anderson]

Tommy.

[Jim Anderson]

Tommy who?

[Kathy Anderson]

I don't know, but he's a friend of Charlie's. And Charlie was trying to get A date for him. And he knew he was going to be late, so he sent Tommy and we met him down at Mr. Crandall's. And it's all your fault.

[Jim Anderson]

What's my fault? If you hadn't started that ridiculous thing about Janie Liggett and the tall, dark man.

[Ed Davis]

Will you be needing me for anything else?

[Jim Anderson]

Hmm? Oh, thank you, Officer. I think everything's under control now.

[Ed Davis]

Well, I wouldn't be so sure. Sounds to me like the whole house is infested with leprechauns. Better leave a bowl of milk out for them tonight. Otherwise you'll have nothing but trouble. Thank you, Officer.

[Jim Anderson]

We'll do just that. Now we've got leprechaun. Betty, what happened? That idiot nephew of mine.

[Kathy Anderson]

Nothing. When the policeman came, he and Tommy didn't know what to do, so they're having another soda.

[Jim Anderson]

Just wait till I get my hands on that carrot headed numbskull. Just wait.

[Margaret Anderson]

It wasn't his fault, Ed. The whole thing was a very unfortunate misunderstanding, that's all.

[Jim Anderson]

It's more than that. It's a perfect example of what I've been trying to tell you. You see what superstition has done to this family?

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, it's not that important.

[Jim Anderson]

It is important. We're supposed to be a healthy, normal American family. And what happened to us? We've become involved in a bunch of old world superstitions. All our lives are affected. Bud gets a black eye. Kathy breaks a window. Betty gets the whole neighborhood upset with her tall, dark stranger. Jim, it's very well to scoff at superstition, but when I was a boy. God. Now what? I tell you, that chair rocked back and forth, back and forth. Mr. Anderson, my friend.

[Ed Davis]

My wonderful friend.

[Jim Anderson]

It's about time you got here. Where's my hat?

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, you mustn't blame Mr. Adams. I gave him the hat.

[Jim Anderson]

Mrs. Anderson, look what I brought for you. The biggest box of candy I could find.

[Ed Davis]

This is the biggest box of candy in Springfield.

[Margaret Anderson]

Why, Mr. Adams.

[Ed Davis]

Go ahead, take it.

[Jim Anderson]

Take it.

[Ed Davis]

I want you to have it. It's for you.

[Jim Anderson]

Mr. Adams, all we want is the hat. May I? Please.

[Ed Davis]

I brought a doll for the little girl. Presents for everybody. A baseball bat and perfume.

[Jim Anderson]

Mr. Adams, I have to go to Chicago. May I please have my hat?

[Ed Davis]

Look, Mr. Anderson.

[Jim Anderson]

Cigars.

[Ed Davis]

The biggest box I could find.

[Jim Anderson]

Mr. Adams.

[Ed Davis]

Three for a half.

[Jim Anderson]

That's expensive. Expensive.

[Ed Davis]

But nothing is too good for my friend.

[Jim Anderson]

Thank you very much. Now may I have my hat?

[Bud Anderson]

The hat.

[Ed Davis]

That wonderful hat.

[Jim Anderson]

You know, all my life I've been.

[Ed Davis]

An unlucky man, a junk man, a poor peddler. And then you gave me that hat, that beautiful hat.

[Jim Anderson]

I said I'd give you $5.

[Ed Davis]

Oh, I couldn't sell that.

[Jim Anderson]

Not that hat.

[Margaret Anderson]

$10, Jim.

[Ed Davis]

Mr. Anderson, $15. I wouldn't sell it for a million dollars. Haven't you heard what it did for me? I just won the Irish sweepstakes.

[Margaret Anderson]

Foreign.

[Ed Davis]

Wonderful news the past few weeks. Maxwell House Coffee featured at lower prices. And today in big stores and small grocers are featuring America's favorite brand of coffee at the lowest prices in months. I know how welcome that news is for you folks who know and love Maxwell House. And for you folks who haven't been getting that wonderful good to the last.

[Jim Anderson]

Drop flavor in your cup, now's the time.

[Ed Davis]

Open up a blue tin of Maxwell.

[Jim Anderson]

House and see how much more pleasure.

[Ed Davis]

You find in coffee when it has the world's most famous flavor. Flavor you can count on always because we're proud of it and we'll never compromise on the quality of a single pound for the wonderful coffee that's today's coffee buy. Look for Maxwell House featured at the lowest prices in months. It's always good to the last drop. It doesn't take long for three days to come and go. Just about three days. And that's precisely what's happened in Springfield. Jim Anderson has gone to Chicago and come back again. And now for the first time in three days, he's at the breakfast table.

[Jim Anderson]

With his family like this. I guess I made them sit up and take notice right in front of everybody. Mr. Craig said they couldn't have placed the Springfield area in more capable hands.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, he didn't.

[Jim Anderson]

He certainly did. He's only the president of the company, that's all. Boy, you should have seen the eyes, Pop.

[Bud Anderson]

Say, dad, you know how many hits I got yesterday with the bat?

[Margaret Anderson]

Mr. Adams gave me six.

[Jim Anderson]

That's fine, Bud. How come you had a game yesterday?

[Bud Anderson]

Well, it wasn't a regular league game. I was just fooling around with Kathy's team.

[Kathy Anderson]

He hit three home runs.

[Bud Anderson]

Oh, it wasn't so much.

[Kathy Anderson]

Father.

[Jim Anderson]

Yes, Betty?

[Kathy Anderson]

I'm going to a formal next Friday and I saw the most beautiful dress again.

[Margaret Anderson]

Betty, your father just got home. Home?

[Kathy Anderson]

But, Mother, Tommy said it was going to be the most exclusive formal of the year.

[Jim Anderson]

Tommy? You mean the tall dark one?

[Margaret Anderson]

Uhhuh.

[Jim Anderson]

You know, May, we're going to have trouble with him after all.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, let's not get started on that again. It was a very Successful convention, wasn't it?

[Jim Anderson]

It certainly was. I accomplished a great deal.

[Margaret Anderson]

And you did it all without your.

[Jim Anderson]

Lucky hat, didn't you, Margaret? I never said it was a lucky hat. I merely said, well, the man's entitled to a few little idiosyncrasies. That's all it was. So let's just forget it.

[Margaret Anderson]

All right, dear.

[Kathy Anderson]

Daddy?

[Jim Anderson]

Yes, Kathy?

[Kathy Anderson]

Is everything all right now? I mean, you aren't going away on any more trips or anything, are you?

[Jim Anderson]

No, Kathy, I'm staying right here. And everything's just as fine as it can be.

[Kathy Anderson]

Good. Now can I please have my rabbit's foot back?

[Ed Davis]

Did you know now there's an instant coffee with roaster fresh pure coffee flavor. It's instant Maxwell House. The instant coffee with a famous flavor. The happiest combination in coffee. Wonderful good to the last drop. Flavor combined with the convenience and thrift of coffee made instantly in the cup. Unlike most instant coffees, it's all rich, pure coffee, nothing added. Tomorrow, try the instant coffee with a famous flavor. Instant Maxwell House instantly good to the last drop. Join us again next week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best, starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson. With Roy Bargy and the Maxwell House Orchestra and yours truly, Bill Foreman. Don't forget, membership cards for the Robert Young Good Drivers Club are waiting for you at your local NBC station. Get a man to man or dad to daughter pledge and sign up today. Be a good driver. Get your membership card in the Robert Young Good Drivers Club today. Now until next Thursday, good night and good luck from the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand of coffee. Always good to the last drop. Father Knows Best was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed James. Now stay tuned for Screen Gill Theater which follows immediately over most of these stations.

[Jim Anderson]

Stay tuned for Screen Guild and the seventh fail on NBC.