Father Knows Best 50-09-14 (047) Family Car Stolen

Summary

Summary of "Father Knows Best: Family Car Stolen" (Episode 047)

Podcast Information:

• Title: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Host/Author: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Description: Radio shows from the Golden Age of Radio. The time before television and the family all sat around the radio and listened to the shows of the time like The Shadow, Abbott & Costello, Amos & Andy, Dragnet, and many more.
• Episode: Father Knows Best 50-09-14 (047) Family Car Stolen
• Release Date: July 25, 2025

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Overview

In this episode of "Father Knows Best," the Anderson family grapples with a series of morning mishaps culminating in the mysterious disappearance of their family car. The narrative humorously portrays the everyday struggles and misunderstandings within a busy household, highlighting themes of responsibility, communication, and familial bonds.

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Detailed Summary

1. Chaotic Morning Routine

The episode opens with Jim Anderson, the patriarch, attempting to navigate a hectic morning in preparation for his crucial business appointment in Plainfield at 9 o'clock. The limited amenities—a single bathroom for three kids—set the stage for the ensuing chaos.

Notable Quote:

Jim Anderson [03:19]: "Anybody who thinks he can live in a house with one bathroom and three kids ought to have his head examined."

2. Bathroom Battles and Family Tensions

Jim's struggle to use the bathroom is compounded by his children, Bud and Kathy, who also need access. The competition for bathroom time leads to mounting frustration and tension within the household.

Notable Quote:

Kathy Anderson [02:00]: "I think it's Bud."

Jim Anderson [02:03]: "Bud, did you want something? Dad?"

3. The Car Goes Missing

Amid the morning chaos, Jim discovers that the family car is missing from the garage. Initial panic sets in as he interrogates his family, leading to revelations about misplaced keys and misunderstandings about the car's location.

Notable Quote:

Jim Anderson [06:37]: "I'm not having enough trouble now somebody's stolen the car."

Kathy Anderson [07:56]: "In front of your office. That's what you told me to do, isn't it?"

4. Attempts to Resolve the Crisis

Jim seeks assistance from neighbors and family friends to locate the car. Bud's errand to the drugstore to procure shaving cream becomes another subplot, showcasing generational misunderstandings and the challenges of limited resources.

Notable Quote:

Bud Anderson [13:30]: "Well, my allowance is only a dollar and a quarter, and I spent 60 cents last night, and there's a whole week to go."

5. Miscommunications and Police Involvement

As tensions escalate, Jim interacts with the police, believing the car to be stolen. However, it later emerges that the car was inadvertently left in front of the house, leading to comedic relief and a realization of the morning's misunderstandings.

Notable Quote:

Jim Anderson [27:25]: "Officer, I have to be in Plainfield as close to nine o'clock as I can make it."

Kathy Anderson [18:07]: "It's a conspiracy, that's what it is."

6. Resolution and Family Reconciliation

The episode concludes with the family reconciling the morning's chaos. Jim reflects on the importance of communication and cooperation, while the children assert their independence and perspectives, bringing the family closer despite the morning's trials.

Notable Quote:

Kathy Anderson [27:18]: "He wants you to pull over to the curb."

Jim Anderson [26:04]: "Like? Well, like how to answer the questions your children keep throwing at you."

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Key Themes and Insights

1. Family Dynamics: The episode vividly portrays the challenges and interactions within a typical family, highlighting how each member's actions affect the household's harmony.

2. Communication Breakdown: Misunderstandings and lack of clear communication are central to the morning's chaos, emphasizing the need for effective dialogue within families.

3. Responsibility and Dependability: Jim's struggle to manage his responsibilities mirrors real-life scenarios where parents balance work and family duties, often leading to stress and frustration.

4. Humor in Everyday Life: The comedic elements arising from mundane situations make the story relatable and entertaining, showcasing the lighter side of familial struggles.

5. Generational Perspectives: Differences in viewpoints between Jim and his children Bud and Kathy illustrate the generational gaps and the evolving nature of family relationships.

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Conclusion

"Father Knows Best: Family Car Stolen" masterfully combines humor and relatable family scenarios to depict the intricacies of household management. Through the Anderson family's misadventures, the episode underscores the importance of communication, teamwork, and understanding in overcoming daily challenges. Listeners are left with a heartwarming portrayal of family unity amidst chaos, reminiscent of the beloved radio shows from the Golden Age of Radio.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Jim Anderson [03:19]: "Anybody who thinks he can live in a house with one bathroom and three kids ought to have his head examined."
• Kathy Anderson [07:56]: "In front of your office. That's what you told me to do, isn't it?"
• Bud Anderson [13:30]: "Well, my allowance is only a dollar and a quarter, and I spent 60 cents last night, and there's a whole week to go."
• Jim Anderson [27:25]: "Officer, I have to be in Plainfield as close to nine o'clock as I can make it."
• Kathy Anderson [18:07]: "It's a conspiracy, that's what it is."
• Jim Anderson [26:04]: "Like? Well, like how to answer the questions your children keep throwing at you."

These quotes encapsulate the frustration, misunderstandings, and humorous exchanges that drive the episode's narrative.

Transcript

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[Jim Anderson]

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[Kathy Anderson]

Mother, is Maxwell House the best coffee in the whole world?

[Margaret Anderson]

Well, your father says so, and your father knows best.

[Announcer]

Yes, if Father knows best Transcribed in Hollywood starring Robert Young as Father. A half hour visit with your neighbors, the Andersons, brought to you by America's favorite coffee, Maxwell House. The coffee that's always good to the last drop. This, unfortunately, is the time of year when most young people become arsonists at heart. As they sleep, the gentlest smiles creep softly across their gay young faces. Smiles caused by a joyous vision, a glorious dream of the schoolhouse burning down. Yes, this is the time of year when the young ones return to their scholastic grind. And in Springfield, in the white frame house on Maple street, the morning is a hectic one indeed. Like this.

[Kathy Anderson]

Jim.

[Jim Anderson]

Who's in there?

[Kathy Anderson]

Jim, your coffee's ready. Do you want it now?

[Jim Anderson]

I want to get into the bathroom. I have to shave. Betty.

[Kathy Anderson]

I'm in here, Father.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, who's in the bathroom?

[Kathy Anderson]

I think it's Bud.

[Jim Anderson]

Bud?

[Bud Anderson]

Bud, did you want something? Dad?

[Jim Anderson]

What are you doing in there?

[Bud Anderson]

I'm taking a shower.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, why did you lock the door?

[Bud Anderson]

I don't have any clothes on.

[Jim Anderson]

Bud.

[Bud Anderson]

Yes, dad?

[Jim Anderson]

Hurry up.

[Bud Anderson]

Okay, dad. I'll be right out. I dream of a dinghy with a lighter green hair.

[Jim Anderson]

He doesn't have any clothes on. Of course, everybody else takes a shower in a raccoon coat. I don't know what's gotten into that boy. Acts more like his mother's side of the family every day.

[Kathy Anderson]

Jim, what was all that banging up there?

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, the same old thing. Honey, isn't there anything we can do about a schedule for the bathroom that gets worse every morning?

[Margaret Anderson]

I know, dear, but after all, it is a schedule special morning. It's the first day of school and the children are all anxious to look their best.

[Jim Anderson]

But I have to be in Plainfield at 9 o' clock. It's a very important deal. I told everybody last night.

[Margaret Anderson]

Of course, dear. I know just how you feel. And you'll feel a lot better after you've had your coffee. I'll have it ready in just a minute.

[Jim Anderson]

You said it was ready.

[Margaret Anderson]

It was ready, but when you didn't come down.

[Jim Anderson]

Look, I'd better go back upstairs and stand in line.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, it will only take me a second to pour you another cup of coffee. Coffee?

[Jim Anderson]

Well, okay. And anybody who thinks he can live in a house with one bathroom and three kids ought to have his head examined. What is it, Bud? I'm out. Well, it's about time. Don't let anybody else in till I get up there.

[Bud Anderson]

Okay.

[Kathy Anderson]

Jim, where are you going?

[Jim Anderson]

I'm going to shave.

[Kathy Anderson]

But I poured your coffee.

[Jim Anderson]

Sorry, honey, you'll just have to pour it back. The bathroom's clear. I may not have a chance like this for another hundred years. Hold the fork. But I'm on my way.

[Kathy Anderson]

Think I can't go into the bathroom?

[Jim Anderson]

That's right. Thank you, Bud.

[Bud Anderson]

Okay, then.

[Kathy Anderson]

But I have to take a shower and I have to go to school. And how can I take a shower if nobody will let me get into the bathroom?

[Jim Anderson]

Kathy, Daddy has to go to Plainfield. That's 28 miles away and he has to be there at 9 o'. Clock.

[Kathy Anderson]

Why?

[Jim Anderson]

Because I want to sell Mr. Butler some insurance so we can get some money so we can eat. Is that clear?

[Kathy Anderson]

I don't know. I just want to take a shower.

[Jim Anderson]

Kathy, I have to shave and I can't shave while you're taking a shower.

[Kathy Anderson]

Why?

[Jim Anderson]

Because you get the mirror all steamed up. Because I want to get the Plainfield wearing both ears. And don't say why.

[Kathy Anderson]

Why?

[Jim Anderson]

Why don't you go do your homework or something?

[Kathy Anderson]

Oh, I don't have any homework. School hasn't even started yet.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, make some up. Bud, what happened to my shaving cream?

[Bud Anderson]

You want me, dad?

[Jim Anderson]

No, I want my shaving cream. Where is it?

[Margaret Anderson]

Maybe there isn't any.

[Jim Anderson]

I could have figured that out for myself, except that I just bought a whole tube of it. Margaret.

[Margaret Anderson]

What shaving cream, dear?

[Jim Anderson]

The shaving cream I bought last night.

[Margaret Anderson]

You didn't buy any shaving cream last night.

[Jim Anderson]

I. I most certainly did, didn't I?

[Margaret Anderson]

No, dear, you didn't.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, I should have. Bud.

[Bud Anderson]

Yes, dad?

[Jim Anderson]

Are you dressed?

[Bud Anderson]

I'm tying my shoes.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, run down to the drugstore and get me some shaving cream like a good fellow, will you?

[Bud Anderson]

You bet. Soon as I finish my breakfast.

[Jim Anderson]

Get it for me now. You can have your breakfast later.

[Bud Anderson]

Holy cow. Dad, I haven't eaten since last night.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, another five minutes won't make any difference. Use the car and hurry back, please. Okay.

[Announcer]

What in the.

[Jim Anderson]

Who's in there? Kathy, Come out of that bathroom, Ms. Instant.

[Kathy Anderson]

I'm not in the bathroom, Daddy.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, who is?

[Kathy Anderson]

I don't know.

[Jim Anderson]

Betty. Betty.

[Kathy Anderson]

Did you want something, Father?

[Jim Anderson]

What are you doing in there?

[Kathy Anderson]

I'm taking a shower.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, open the door, Father.

[Kathy Anderson]

Jim.

[Margaret Anderson]

You can't shave until Bud comes back anyway.

[Jim Anderson]

That's got nothing to do with it. I was in the bathroom first. He had no right to sneak in when my back was turned.

[Margaret Anderson]

Will you please stop acting like an overgrown baby? You can have your coffee while Betty is taking her shower.

[Jim Anderson]

Why do they have to open the schools today? 365 days in the year and they have to pick a day when I have an appointment in Plainfield. There's no system in this town, that's what. They just run things to suit themselves.

[Bud Anderson]

Dad, the car isn't in the garage.

[Jim Anderson]

It was.

[Bud Anderson]

It isn't in the garage.

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, that's fine. That's just great. I'm not having enough trouble now somebody's stolen the car.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, let's not get all upset. Maybe you didn't put the car in the garage last night.

[Jim Anderson]

I didn't use the car last night. I came home with Ed Davis, remember? Betty had the car all afternoon. Betty.

[Kathy Anderson]

Yes, Father?

[Jim Anderson]

Where did you leave the car?

[Kathy Anderson]

Just a minute. I'll be right out.

[Jim Anderson]

But go downstairs and call the police.

[Margaret Anderson]

No, but wait. There must be a logical explanation to this whole thing.

[Jim Anderson]

Of course there's a logical explanation. Somebody stole the car.

[Kathy Anderson]

Is anything wrong, Father?

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, no, everything's just fine. Somebody stole the car. That's all they did.

[Kathy Anderson]

Who?

[Jim Anderson]

How do I know who? Where did you leave it?

[Kathy Anderson]

In front of your office. That's what you told me to do, isn't it?

[Jim Anderson]

I told you to leave it in front of the office.

[Kathy Anderson]

That's right. You said if I got through early to leave it in front of your office and come home on the bus. Then you wouldn't have to use the bus during the rush hour.

[Jim Anderson]

But I came home with that Davis.

[Kathy Anderson]

Well, I came home on the bus.

[Jim Anderson]

You know, Betty, you're going to be a great comfort to me in my old age. If I live that long.

[Kathy Anderson]

Father, I just did what you told me to.

[Jim Anderson]

Why didn't you tell me you left the car downtown?

[Kathy Anderson]

You didn't ask me.

[Jim Anderson]

E gods. 17 years old. And she can't tell you anything unless you ask her.

[Bud Anderson]

I'll be right back.

[Jim Anderson]

Bud, where are you going?

[Bud Anderson]

It's okay, dad. I'll use my bicycle.

[Jim Anderson]

No, Bud, come back here.

[Kathy Anderson]

Bud. He's gone, dear.

[Jim Anderson]

I don't know. The only time that boy ever hurries is when you want him to stand still.

[Margaret Anderson]

Well, dear, you told him to go to the drugstore.

[Jim Anderson]

I wanted him to go down for the car. How can I possibly get to Plainfield without a car?

[Kathy Anderson]

You can use the bus.

[Jim Anderson]

Nobody asked you.

[Kathy Anderson]

But you just said I was 17 years old.

[Jim Anderson]

Don't mind what I just said. What's that?

[Margaret Anderson]

What's what, dear?

[Jim Anderson]

That's a car. Is it in our driveway?

[Margaret Anderson]

No, that's the Davis's. I guess Ed's going to work head.

[Jim Anderson]

That's it, Betty. Hurry up and get dressed.

[Kathy Anderson]

Well, what for?

[Jim Anderson]

Never mind what for. Just get dressed.

[Kathy Anderson]

Jumping creepers.

[Jim Anderson]

Ed. Say, Ed. Hi, Jim. What's up? Ed, I want you to do me a favor, a big favor. Will you wait until Betty gets dressed and take her down to my office? Sure, I guess so. She'll only be a minute. Okay.

[Announcer]

The color to make it snappy.

[Jim Anderson]

Thanks, Ed. You're a pal. Well, that'll take care of that, Betty.

[Margaret Anderson]

What did Ed say, dear?

[Jim Anderson]

He's waiting for Betty and he'll take her downtown and she can bring the car back there.

[Margaret Anderson]

You see, there was no need to get upset about the whole thing in the first place.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, that's a matter of opinion. Betty, what are you doing?

[Kathy Anderson]

I'm getting dressed.

[Announcer]

Okay.

[Jim Anderson]

Look, Ed Davis is waiting to take you downtown.

[Kathy Anderson]

Oh, he doesn't have to do that, Father. Janie Liggett's gonna pick me up.

[Jim Anderson]

He's going to take you downtown so you can get our car and bring it back here.

[Kathy Anderson]

But I can't, Father. I'll miss my ride to school.

[Jim Anderson]

I'll take you to school.

[Kathy Anderson]

But Janie Liggett.

[Jim Anderson]

I don't care about Janie Liggett. This is more important.

[Kathy Anderson]

If it's so important, why don't you go downtown with Mr. Davis?

[Jim Anderson]

I'll tell you why. In the first place, I haven't shaved. In the second place, I haven't had my shower. And in the third place, I told you to go down in the first place. Now, hurry up and get dressed.

[Margaret Anderson]

Oh, poo.

[Jim Anderson]

And don't take all day about it.

[Kathy Anderson]

Double poo.

[Jim Anderson]

What was that?

[Kathy Anderson]

I said yes, Father.

[Jim Anderson]

Person gets you into a mess like this, the least they can do is get you out. If she'd Used her head, the car wouldn't have been left downtown in the first place. First time in her whole life she ever got through with it. Early.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, why don't you come downstairs with me and have your breakfast? You can save a little time that.

[Jim Anderson]

No, I've got to shave.

[Margaret Anderson]

And you can't shave until Bud gets back with the shaving cream.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, I can take a shower and brush my teeth and. Oh, no.

[Margaret Anderson]

What is it, dear?

[Jim Anderson]

Who's in there? Who's in the bathroom?

[Kathy Anderson]

Did you want something, Daddy?

[Announcer]

That's a real cup of coffee. Nice words to hear at your table, aren't they? And tomorrow you can hear them from the world's greatest coffee expert. Yes, ma'.

[Jim Anderson]

Am.

[Announcer]

Because that number one expert is your husband. Of course, we think we stand pretty high as experts. Our Maxwell House Coffee is America's favorite brand. But we know the final judge is that husband of yours. And tomorrow, if you'll pour him a cup of Maxwell House you'll hear him say, now that's real coffee. We're so sure of that. We'll give you your money back if he doesn't. You see, we're mighty proud of that famous good to the last drop flavor. And we know no other coffee tastes like Maxwell House because no other coffee's made like Maxwell House. Get a pound. Tomorrow, serve it to your husband. If he doesn't say it's the best coffee he ever tasted. Why, just send us the can and unused portion and we'll gladly refund the price you paid. Our address is right on the front of that familiar blue tin. Tomorrow, start serving the world's greatest coffee expert Maxwell House coffee. Always good to the last drop. Cleanliness is next to godliness. That's what they say. But there are times when it can be overdone. It's a cup of coffee later in the white frame house on Maple Street. And the Andersons bathroom is still giving a pretty fair imitation of the Grand Central Station. Father, unshowered and unshorn is low man on the totem pole. And last man into the bathroom as usual. Like this.

[Jim Anderson]

They ought to pass an ordinance, that's what.

[Margaret Anderson]

What was that, dear?

[Jim Anderson]

I said there ought to be a law. No house can be built without 10 bathrooms. Oh, Jim. Well, look at the time. A quarter past eight and I haven't even started to shave.

[Margaret Anderson]

It won't take long once Bud gets. How about another cup of coffee?

[Jim Anderson]

Well, okay.

[Margaret Anderson]

There you are.

[Announcer]

Thank you.

[Jim Anderson]

Even if Betty gets back with a car by 8:30 I won't be able to make it.

[Margaret Anderson]

Of course you will.

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, it's 28 miles to Plainfield and my appointments for 9 o'. Clock.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, I'm sure if you explain to Mr. Butler, he'll understand.

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, sure. I'm sorry I'm late, Mr. Butler, but one of my children left the car downtown and the others wouldn't let me get into the bathroom. He'll love that.

[Bud Anderson]

Hey, dad.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, it's about time. We're in here, Bud.

[Bud Anderson]

Boy, did I ever have a time. You know what happened?

[Jim Anderson]

Never mind what happened. Where's the shaving cream?

[Bud Anderson]

Right here. Gosh, it was awful. You know what happened.

[Jim Anderson]

All I want is the shaving cream. What took you so long?

[Bud Anderson]

Well, that's what I'm trying to tell you. You know what happened? Mr. Crandall wasn't open yet, and I had to find a drugstore that stayed open all night. And then when I found it, I didn't have enough money for the large economy size. And then he couldn't find the small un economy size. And he tried to sell me that smelly kind that you don't like. But I said, oh, no.

[Jim Anderson]

And he said, bud, give it to me. What? The shaving cream. Let me have it.

[Bud Anderson]

Oh, it was 35 cents, Dad.

[Jim Anderson]

I know how much it was. Hand it over.

[Bud Anderson]

Well, my allowance is only a dollar and a quarter, and I spent 60 cents last night, and there's a whole week to go.

[Jim Anderson]

But will you let go of the shaving cream?

[Bud Anderson]

I know you don't mean to forget things like that, dad, but last year when I laid out 15 cents for the pipe cleaners.

[Jim Anderson]

I paid you for the pipe cleaners.

[Bud Anderson]

No, you didn't, dad.

[Jim Anderson]

As a matter of fact, I think I paid you twice.

[Bud Anderson]

Well, anyway, it was only 15 cents. But this is 35 cents.

[Jim Anderson]

Bud, let go.

[Bud Anderson]

That's practically half a dollar. I said let go, and I only get a dollar and a quarter.

[Jim Anderson]

Bud, you're squashing it.

[Bud Anderson]

So why don't you just give me the 35 cents?

[Jim Anderson]

Because I don't carry money in my pajamas, that's why. Now let go.

[Margaret Anderson]

But I'll give you the 35 cents.

[Jim Anderson]

You will?

[Margaret Anderson]

Yes.

[Bud Anderson]

Oh, well, here you are, dad.

[Jim Anderson]

Thank you. Thank you very much.

[Bud Anderson]

Oh, that's okay, Dad.

[Jim Anderson]

I was glad to help. Yes, I can see that.

[Margaret Anderson]

All right, Bud, sit down and I'll get your breakfast.

[Bud Anderson]

Oh, gosh, you can understand how I feel, can't you?

[Margaret Anderson]

Mom? Yes, dear?

[Bud Anderson]

It isn't as if I didn't trust him. But look what happened when I bought the Pipe cleaner.

[Jim Anderson]

Hello.

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[Jim Anderson]

My own son. You think I was trying to cheat him out of 35 cents? Where did he get the 35 cents in the first place? And look at it. If that isn't the messiest looking tube of shaving cream. Got it all squeezed out of shape. Spend your whole life trying to make things easy for your family. E Gods. Kathy. Kathy. Aren't you out of there yet?

[Kathy Anderson]

I'm brushing my teeth.

[Jim Anderson]

What?

[Kathy Anderson]

I'm brushing my teeth.

[Jim Anderson]

You've been in there long enough to grow new ones. Now come on up.

[Kathy Anderson]

But I have to brush my teeth.

[Jim Anderson]

You can brush them later. Open the door.

[Kathy Anderson]

Daddy, I have to brush my teeth. If I don't, I'll have to do it afterwards and then I'll be late for school.

[Jim Anderson]

I'll take you to school. Just let me get in there.

[Kathy Anderson]

I wasn't late for school even once last year. And this year, if I'm late the very first day.

[Jim Anderson]

You won't be late, Kathy, I promise you. Now, please let me get through.

[Kathy Anderson]

Gee whiz. Just because I'm the littlest one in the family, everybody thinks I don't have any feelings. I do. I've got as many feelings as anybody.

[Jim Anderson]

Fine. I'll tell him when he comes in.

[Kathy Anderson]

You'll tell who what? Who will you tell when he comes in?

[Jim Anderson]

When who comes in?

[Kathy Anderson]

I don't know.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, stop talking about people you don't know. May I please shave?

[Kathy Anderson]

He said, I'll tell him when he comes in. And I said, who? And he said, jim.

[Jim Anderson]

E God. Now what? What is it, Margaret?

[Kathy Anderson]

Betty's on the phone.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, tell her to hurry up.

[Kathy Anderson]

She wants to talk to you.

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, my aching back. I'll be right down, Margaret. Kathy, don't ever get married. And if you do get married, don't have any children. And if you do have any children, don't try to shave. Grow a beard.

[Kathy Anderson]

Daddy, is it all right if I brush my teeth?

[Jim Anderson]

No, stay out of the bathroom.

[Kathy Anderson]

He wins.

[Jim Anderson]

Betty, why aren't you back here?

[Kathy Anderson]

Is that you, Father?

[Jim Anderson]

Of course not. This is Admiral Bird, and I'm speaking from the South Pole. Where are you?

[Kathy Anderson]

I'm downtown.

[Jim Anderson]

That's nice. Are you having a good time?

[Kathy Anderson]

Father, the car's been stolen.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, stop fooling around down there. And it. What?

[Kathy Anderson]

It isn't where I left it. There's another car there. And the man at the filling station said he found somebody fiddling around with it this morning.

[Jim Anderson]

Betty.

[Kathy Anderson]

And I guess they found the place under the mat where we hide the keys.

[Jim Anderson]

Betty.

[Kathy Anderson]

Yes, Father?

[Jim Anderson]

Go over to the police headquarters. Give them a full description of the car. Make, model, color, license number. Have you got that?

[Kathy Anderson]

I guess so.

[Jim Anderson]

Tell them I'll be in later in the morning to make a full insurance report. Is that clear?

[Kathy Anderson]

Well, there's only one thing I don't understand.

[Jim Anderson]

Yes?

[Kathy Anderson]

What am I supposed to do about my breakfast?

[Jim Anderson]

Betty.

[Kathy Anderson]

Yes, Father?

[Jim Anderson]

Eat it.

[Kathy Anderson]

Oh, okay.

[Jim Anderson]

And, Betty.

[Kathy Anderson]

Don't worry, Father. I'll take care of everything.

[Jim Anderson]

Good.

[Kathy Anderson]

Right after breakfast.

[Jim Anderson]

Betty. Betty. Oh, fine. It's a conspiracy, that's what it is. The whole thing is a plot to keep me from getting to playing field. Well, that's fine. That's just great.

[Margaret Anderson]

What if anymore. Is anything wrong?

[Jim Anderson]

No, everything's wonderful. This time somebody really stole the car, that's all. Oh, Jim, I'm up to my neck in appointments. The busiest time of the whole year. A thing like this has to happen to me. Sure. Nasty. They'd have to be busy. They'll probably be busy all day.

[Margaret Anderson]

Who, dear?

[Jim Anderson]

George Phillips. If I can borrow his car, I can still get to Plainfield in time.

[Margaret Anderson]

But, Jim, I wouldn't count on that. George may need the car himself. Why don't you just call Mr. Butler?

[Jim Anderson]

Because it took me two months to set up this appointment, and I don't intend to lose it. And if George Phillips can't do a little thing like lend me his car, well, it's just too bad, that's all.

[Margaret Anderson]

All right, dear. I suppose you know best.

[Jim Anderson]

Bud.

[Bud Anderson]

You want me, dad?

[Jim Anderson]

Now, whatever gave you that idea?

[Bud Anderson]

You said bud.

[Jim Anderson]

You figured the rest of it out all by yourself. Isn't that wonderful?

[Bud Anderson]

Now, what did I do?

[Jim Anderson]

Go across the street and ask Mr. Phillips if I can use his car? What for? I've taken a contract to fill in the Grand Canyon, and I want to use the Phillips car for a dump truck. Oh, stop asking so many silly questions and do as you're told.

[Bud Anderson]

But all I said was, Bud, do As your father tells you, holy cow. Ask a perfectly simple question and everybody jumps down your neck. Get a bunch of double talk about filling in the Grand Canyon.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, I don't think you were very nice to Buck.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, I haven't got time to be nice. I got to get a car. I've got to get the Plainfield. Margaret.

[Margaret Anderson]

Yes, dear?

[Jim Anderson]

I'm going upstairs to shave. Will you call Hector Smith and ask if I can borrow his car? I'll have it back at 12 o' clock at the latest.

[Margaret Anderson]

All right.

[Jim Anderson]

And explain that it's an emergency. Tell him it's practically a matter of life and death.

[Kathy Anderson]

Yes, dear, I'll tell him.

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, I've never seen a morning like this in my whole life. Everything has to go wrong. I don't even know why I bothered to get out of bed.

[Margaret Anderson]

Hello, Elizabeth?

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, no. Kathy, are you in there again?

[Kathy Anderson]

I'll be right out, Daddy.

[Jim Anderson]

I told you not to go back in, didn't I?

[Kathy Anderson]

But you were on the phone and I had to wash my knees.

[Jim Anderson]

You just took a shower. Everybody in the world's been taking a shower.

[Kathy Anderson]

I forgot to scrub my knees. And I couldn't go to school the very first day if I didn't scrub my knees, could I?

[Jim Anderson]

All right, Kathy, just let me in there.

[Kathy Anderson]

Don't they look better now, Daddy?

[Jim Anderson]

They're gorgeous. Now, may I please get into the bathroom?

[Kathy Anderson]

Jim?

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, what is it, dear?

[Kathy Anderson]

Elizabeth says she's awfully sorry, but Hector ran into the back of a truck and their car won't be out of the garage until Friday.

[Jim Anderson]

That's great. Good old Hector. Good old reliable Hector.

[Margaret Anderson]

Do you want me to call the Hathaways?

[Kathy Anderson]

They have an extra little car.

[Jim Anderson]

What did they say, bud?

[Bud Anderson]

Mr. Phillips had to go downtown early and he took the car with him.

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, fine.

[Bud Anderson]

And Mrs. Phillips says she doesn't think Mr. Phillips would let you take you to the Grand Canyon anyway on account of one of the windshield wipers.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, that makes as much sense as anything else that's happened today.

[Kathy Anderson]

Daddy, you said you were going to take me to school.

[Margaret Anderson]

Kathy, this is no time to annoy your father.

[Kathy Anderson]

But he said.

[Jim Anderson]

It's all right, Margaret. I don't care. The way things have been going this morning, my mind is absolutely numb. Anyway, dad. Two months. Two whole months getting Butler lined up for the kill, and then a thing like this has to happen. Dad find bunch of friends we have. The windshield wiper doesn't work. Hector ran into the back of a truck, dad.

[Margaret Anderson]

Tim, I'm sure he didn't do it intentionally?

[Jim Anderson]

No, but if he wanted to borrow a car, you can bet your bottom dollar there'd be nothing the matter with ours.

[Bud Anderson]

Dad.

[Jim Anderson]

But don't you ever keep still?

[Bud Anderson]

I want to ask you something.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, go ahead. Don't just stand there.

[Bud Anderson]

Why don't you use.

[Margaret Anderson]

That?

[Jim Anderson]

Just a minute, Margaret. I'll be glad to tell him. It seems, Bud, that you have a sister who hasn't sense enough to come in out of the rain.

[Kathy Anderson]

I didn't do anything.

[Jim Anderson]

She left the car downtown with the keys under the mat.

[Kathy Anderson]

Oh, that one.

[Jim Anderson]

And as a result, we don't have a car. Sure we do, Bud. The car has been stolen.

[Bud Anderson]

No, it hasn't, dad. It's out in front of the house. I went downtown and got it.

[Kathy Anderson]

Oh, no.

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[Jim Anderson]

Always good to the last drop.

[Announcer]

A mere 15 minutes have gone by, but things in Springfield are pretty much under control so far as Jim Anderson is concerned. At any rate, with his hands firmly on the steering wheel of his car, only two things remain between father and his business appointments. Kathy's delivery to school and a 28 mile drive to Plainfield. He'll be a little late, but he isn't too worried. As a matter of fact, he isn't worried at all. Like this.

[Jim Anderson]

Daddy, there's Kathy.

[Kathy Anderson]

Why does everybody have to go to school? Is it that important?

[Jim Anderson]

Of course it's important. It's practically the most important thing in your whole life.

[Kathy Anderson]

Why?

[Jim Anderson]

Because, Kathy, if you don't go to school, you don't learn anything. And if you don't learn anything, you aren't prepared for the problems you meet later. In life.

[Kathy Anderson]

What kind of problems?

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, all kinds of problems. Like? Well, like how to answer the questions your children keep throwing at you. Things like that. It's very important. Daddy, now what?

[Kathy Anderson]

Why is everybody so worried about the schools in Springfield?

[Jim Anderson]

Well, they aren't worried, Kathy. Not if they're sound, public spirited citizens. They realize that worrying doesn't do any good. It's action that counts. They know that better schools make better communities. And good citizens everywhere are helping to make our school system the finest in the world. That's pretty hard to do.

[Kathy Anderson]

Why?

[Jim Anderson]

Well, it's on account of the last war, honey. During the war we couldn't build enough schools or train enough teachers. So now we have overcrowded classrooms and a shortage of qualified instructors for the lower grades.

[Margaret Anderson]

What's that?

[Jim Anderson]

Teachers. Oh, yes, sir. If more young men and women would train to teach in the elementary schools, they'd find a wonderful career ahead of them. And they'd be helping to build a better country for all of us at the same time.

[Kathy Anderson]

They would?

[Jim Anderson]

They certainly would.

[Kathy Anderson]

Well, then I changed my mind. When I grow up, I'm going to be a teacher and somebody else can be a lady wrestler.

[Jim Anderson]

That's a very good idea. God, now what did I do?

[Kathy Anderson]

He wants you to pull over to the curb.

[Jim Anderson]

I know what he wants. I wasn't going too fast, was I?

[Kathy Anderson]

I don't know.

[Jim Anderson]

I was going 25 miles an hour. Remember that.

[Kathy Anderson]

All right, Daddy.

[Jim Anderson]

The light was green, wasn't it? Yes, Daddy, certainly was. Hello, Officer. Anything I can do for you? There may be one or two little things. May I see your driver's license, please? Of course. Carry it right here in my wallet. And I right here in the. Officer, I was in such a hurry this morning that I left my wallet on the dresser. But I can assure you that I've been driving in school.

[Bud Anderson]

Could I see your registration certificate or.

[Jim Anderson]

Would that happen to be at home on the piano? Officer, I have to be in Plainfield as close to nine o'clock as I can make it. And ever since I got up this morning. Follow me, if you don't mind. But Officer, if I don't get the plane. Follow you where? We'll take a little trip down to the station house. And let's not try any tricks. Look, this is my daughter and she'll.

[Kathy Anderson]

Tell you we were going 25 miles an hour and the light was green.

[Jim Anderson]

That may be so, little lady. It may be so, but I just got a call from headquarters and you're riding in a stolen car. Oh, no.

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[Bud Anderson]

1.

[Announcer]

Brand to help prevent irregularity due to lack of bulk in the diet.

[Jim Anderson]

2.

[Announcer]

Whole wheat values of these essential B vitamins, stiamin and niacin.

[Jim Anderson]

3.

[Announcer]

A good source of these important minerals, phosphorus and iron. All that and delicious flavor too. Try post 40% brand flakes America's favorite brand Flakes Remember, life is swell when you keep well. Try post 40% brand flakes America's favorite brand Flakes. Join us again next week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best, starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson, with Roy Vargy and the Maxwell House Orchestra and yours truly, Bill Foreman. So until next Thursday, good night and good luck from the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand of coffee, always good to the last drop. Father Knows Best was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed James. Now stay tuned in for Dragnet, which follows immediately over most of these stations. Listen now for Dragnet. Three chimes mean good times on NBC.

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