Father Knows Best 50-10-05 (050): Family Spending

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
Air Date: October 5, 1950 (original), August 29, 2025 (podcast replay)
Episode Theme: Family Spending

Episode Overview

This classic episode of Father Knows Best dives into the timeless household struggle of family spending and the irresistible allure of door-to-door salespeople. Jim Anderson's attempts to instill prudence meet comic resistance as each member of the family succumbs to sales pitches. The result is a gentle, satirical exploration of how easily a family can be persuaded to purchase things they absolutely do not need. The episode humorously portrays the challenges of maintaining financial common sense in the face of emotional appeals, peer pressure, and familial guilt.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Plague of Unnecessary Purchases

• Opening Conflict: Jim Anderson questions why the family owns a copy of the “Poultry Breeders Bulletin and Gazette.”

  • Margaret defends her purchase, explaining she bought it from a polite young salesman “working his way through Harvard,” and that it was a choice between a poultry or a mining magazine.
  • Jim is exasperated:

    “How do you expect me to keep on feeding them if you keep on buying the Poultry Breeders Bulletin and Gazette?”
    — Jim, [03:05]

• List of Useless Magazines:

  • Jim points out a growing stack of strange publications: The Bee Culture Quarterly, the Wine Growers Weekly, the Goat Herders Gazette.
  • He blames the family’s name making its way onto “every sucker list in the country.” [03:13]

2. Margaret’s Guilt-Based Purchases

• Margaret, succumbing to social obligation, gives a deposit for a multi-volume bird encyclopedia sold by her friend’s (Mary Edith Steele’s) awkward nephew.
  • Jim, incredulous about the purchase of “The history of our feathered friends,” tries to find a way out of the transaction.
  • Margaret:

    “He was a very nice boy, Jim. Really he is. Of course, it’s too bad they didn’t have his teeth straightened when he was young.”
    — Margaret, [04:10]

3. Bud and Betty’s Shopping Follies

• Bud:

  • Buys an overpriced “Joe DiMaggio” baseball glove on the sales pitch that his hand is shaped just like the famous player’s.
  • Jim, caustic:

    “If you've got a hand like that, you can use just any. Any old glove, can you?”
    — Jim, [06:47]

• Betty:

  • Buys an ugly, expensive sweater just to avoid offending her friend.
  • Jim is bewildered by her logic:

    “Betty, for the sake of my poor belabored mind, would you please start all over again from the beginning?”
    — Jim, [09:22]

4. Kathy’s Complaint

• Youngest daughter Kathy laments that everyone gets to buy things except her.
  • “I never get to buy anything.”
    — Kathy, [10:46]

5. The Family as “Suckers” and Reverse Peer Pressure

• The Anderson home has become a magnet for every door-to-door seller around, with Jim feeling like there’s no escape.
  • “Anytime the doorbell rings, somebody buys something, they’ll buy anything.”
    — Jim, [10:30]

6. Mr. Gribble’s Niece and Social Obligations

• JP Gribble, Jim’s boss, calls to ask a “favor”: buy some products from his niece, who is going door-to-door.
  • Jim resigns himself to buying, saying:

    “Of course, JP, I’ll be glad to.”
    — Jim, [11:44]

7. The Lingerie Sales Farce

• Sheila Gibson, the beautiful salesgirl (Gribble’s niece), arrives.

• Jim, embarrassed but trying to be gracious, awkwardly buys three of everything she has—turns out, it's all lingerie for “large women,” supposedly for Mrs. Gribble.

  • Betty:

    “Father, you can't look at things like that, like plot.”
    — Betty, [18:14]

  • Jim, blushing and flustered:

    “If your mother can buy the Poultry Breeders Gazette, I can look at lingerie. Now, let’s see it.”
    — Jim, [18:14]

• The comedy escalates as family members walk in on the scene, increasing the embarrassment:

  • Bud is sent repeatedly to turn sprinklers on and off just to keep him away [19:27].
  • Jim simply agrees to everything:

    “I’ll take three. Just give me three of everything and tell me how much it is.”
    — Jim, [20:03]

• The bill: $84—an enormous sum at the time.

• Margaret returns, sees the black nightgown Sheila is demonstrating, and is aghast:

  • “My own home to find you cavorting with that woman.”
    — Margaret, [23:03]
  • Jim tries to explain:

    “I wasn’t cavorting. I was buying stuff.”
    — Jim, [23:07]

8. The Ongoing Cycle

• Even after escorting the salesgirl out and resolving the misunderstanding, another of Mr. Gribble’s relatives arrives—this time a little girl selling Lifesavers.
  • “I got all kinds of lifesavers. Sperm em at wintergreen. Oh, no.”
    — Little girl & Jim, [25:20]

9. Breakfast Aftermath

• The family, reflecting on their purchases—bird books, gloves, sweaters, and lingerie—tries to make peace with their impulsiveness.
  • Kathy, comically:

    “What are you going to do with your black nightgown?”
    — Kathy, [27:37]

  • Jim, stammering, moves on—“Cream, please.” [27:39]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jim’s Summation of Family Spending:

  “Nobody has a family like this. Nobody else in the whole world.”
  — Jim, [10:58]

• On Social Pressure & Guilt:

  “Janie bought a sweater, and the clerk said, isn’t it beautiful? And I had to say yes. And then she told me I ought to buy one, and I couldn’t say I thought it was hideous, so I did.”
  — Betty, [09:29]

• Comic Embarrassment:

  “If your mother can buy the Poultry Breeders Gazette, I can look at lingerie. Now, let’s see it.”
  — Jim, [18:14]

• Never-ending Cycle:

  “Seems like no matter how hard you try to go right, you sometimes go wrong in buying things.”
  — Jim, [25:43]

Timestamps for Major Segments

• [01:21-03:15]: The magazine and guilt-purchase problem
• [06:10-07:44]: Bud’s baseball glove and salesmanship
• [08:01-10:02]: Betty’s ugly sweater and peer pressure
• [10:43-11:36]: Kathy’s “never gets to buy anything” outburst
• [11:36-13:00]: Mr. Gribble’s favor and sales niece setup
• [16:53-22:41]: The salesgirl, lingerie purchasing farce, and family embarrassment
• [23:01-24:54]: Margaret returns—a misunderstanding resolved
• [25:05-25:43]: New salesman (niece) arrives selling Lifesavers—routine never ends
• [26:59-27:44]: The calming breakfast and comic wrap-up

Episode Tone and Style

• Warm, wry, and gently self-mocking; the family’s foibles are treated with affection.
• Jim’s exasperation is always tempered by love and the comical resignation of a man outnumbered by impulse shoppers.

Final Thoughts

This episode is an affectionate send-up of both mid-century domestic life and universal family dynamics. The timeless pitfalls—peer pressure, guilt purchases, sales tactics, and familial misunderstandings—are on full display, all wrapped in the warm, comedic heart that defines Father Knows Best.

For listeners seeking a hearty laugh and a reminder of how little family life has changed over the decades, this is classic radio comfort food.