Father Knows Best - The New Girlfriend

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Harold’s Old Time Radio

Episode: Father Knows Best - The New Girlfriend

Date: June 21, 2026
Host: Harold’s Old Time Radio
Original Air Date (Show): Golden Age of Radio

Episode Overview

This episode features a classic installment from "Father Knows Best" titled The New Girlfriend. Set in the suburban Anderson family home, the story humorously explores the chaos that ensues when teenage son Bud falls in love and brings his new girlfriend, Eloise March, home, much to the dismay and confusion of his family—especially his sister Betty. The episode is rich in the warm, witty banter and light-hearted family dynamics that made the show a staple of its era, as it pokes gentle fun at first crushes, sibling rivalries, and the generational gap between parents and children.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Young Love and Family Reactions (01:57–09:00)

• Dinner Distraction: As the Anderson family sits for dinner, Bud is noticeably distracted, hinting at his infatuation. The family teases him, suspecting he's "in love.”
  • Margaret: “I think he is ill.”
  • Betty: “He’s in love, Daddy.”
• Bud Confesses: Bud openly describes his feelings for a girl, charmingly fixated on her blue eyes and hair "like the sun shining on my home plate."
• Father’s Wisdom: Jim, ever the pragmatic dad, reminisces about courting Margaret, trying to offer practical advice amidst playful family ribbing.
  • Jim: “When I was courting your mother, all we did was sit on her front porch. Didn’t we, honey?” (08:01)
  • Margaret: “Night after night, week after week, we just sat there and held hands and looked at the moon.” (08:14)
  • Jim: “[About the moon] Never got so sick and tired of looking at anything in my whole life.” (08:18)
• Bud's Financial Dilemma: Bud laments, humorously, about romance on his $1.25 allowance.

2. Sibling Rivalries and Jealousies (09:34–12:03)

• Betty’s Drama: Betty, nursing a fight with Billy Smith over a girl named Eloise March, announces she’s done with boys and aspires instead to be a chemist.
  • Betty: "I just wouldn't give you three cents for all the men in the world, that's all." (10:35)
• Accidental Overlap: It turns out Bud’s new girlfriend is the same "vampire" Eloise March, exacerbating sibling tensions.

3. The New Girlfriend Arrives & Social Mishaps (15:45–23:47)

• Bud Prepares: As Bud gets ready, Jim grouses humorously about family chaos, maps, and missing out on his radio news.
• Eloise's Entrance: Eloise arrives, oozing confidence and charm—calling Mr. Anderson's home "so gauche" in an attempt at sophistication, which Jim meets with dry wit.
  • Eloise: “My, you have a lovely home. It's so... so gauche.”
  • Jim: “I was hoping you'd notice that—we've tried to make it one of the gauchest homes.” (18:15–18:26)
• Family Tension Peaks: Betty, realizing Eloise has come to visit Bud, bristles and hostility flares between the two girls.
  • Betty: “She came here to sneer at me, that's what she did.” (21:26)
• Awkward accusations: Sibling and romantic cross-currents spill out, with accusations of two-timing, makeup insults, and jealous confrontations.
  • Bud: “You told me you never went out with older men.”
  • Eloise: “Billy Smith's 18 and you went out with him only three or four times. And that doesn't mean anything, does it?” (22:38–22:44)
• Escalating Chaos: Amidst confusion and shouting, the Andersons' attempt at polite socializing devolves into comic squabbling.

4. Interrupted Priorities: Dad’s Wish for Peace (24:24–25:44)

• As Betty tries to justify herself and Bud mopes over his lost allowance, Jim just wants quiet to listen to his broadcast—only to discover the news is pre-empted by a radio romance program, to his frustration.
  • Narrator: "At 9 o'clock, due to this unforeseen difficulty, the news broadcast... will not be heard. In its place, ... the romance of Susan Blake." (25:44)

5. Resolution and Gentle Parody of Family Life (27:43–29:14)

• Quiet Night—Or Not: Later that night, Jim’s hopes of peace are dashed by Margaret’s fears of a burglar (actually Bud in the kitchen).
• Father-Son Moment: Bud sheepishly admits his over-reaction to romance, and Jim reassures him with wry affection.
  • Bud: “Dad... Did you put a dollar on my dresser?”
  • Jim: “We'll talk about it tomorrow.”
  • Bud: “Thanks for everything. Good night, Dad.”
  • Jim: “Good night, lover boy.” (29:00–29:14)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bud’s Starstruck Description:
  “You ought to see her eyes, dad. They're blue. The bluest eyes you ever saw. Both of them.” — Bud Anderson (04:41)
• Jim on Young Love:
  “Bud, when I was courting your mother, all we did was sit on her front porch… Never got so sick and tired of looking at anything in my whole life.” — Jim Anderson (08:01, 08:18)
• Betty’s Outburst:
  “I just wouldn't give you three cents for all the men in the world, that's all.” — Betty Anderson (10:35)
• Eloise’s Unintentional Insult:
  “My, you have a lovely home. It's so... so gauche.” — Eloise March (18:15)
• Final Scene—Fatherly Affection:
  “Thanks for everything. Good night, Dad.” — Bud Anderson
  “Good night, lover boy.” — Jim Anderson (29:12–29:14)

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Key Timestamps

• 01:57 – Start of family dinner; introduction to Bud’s distracted mood
• 04:18 – Bud confesses he’s in love
• 08:01–08:18 – Jim’s advice about courting Margaret
• 09:34 – Betty reveals her drama with Billy Smith and Eloise March
• 15:45 – Jim prepares for an important news broadcast
• 17:18–18:26 – Eloise arrives; awkward conversation about the home
• 21:26–22:44 – Betty and Eloise’s confrontation
• 24:24–25:44 – Jim’s frustrations with the household chaos and missed news
• 27:43 – Quiet night interrupted; humorous “burglary” moment
• 29:12–29:14 – “Good night, lover boy” — the father-son wrap-up

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Tone and Style

The episode maintains the original's gentle, comedic tone, balancing affectionate mockery with heartwarming sincerity. The humor is warm, the banter brisk, and the character dynamics are classic mid-century American family: well-meaning, loving, and always a touch chaotic.

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This summary captures the episode’s classic charm, making it easy for new listeners to enjoy the wit, nostalgia, and slice-of-life lessons of “Father Knows Best.”

Transcript

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[Jim Anderson]

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[Betty Anderson]

Mother, is Magical House really the only coffee in the world?

[Margaret Anderson]

Well, your father says so, and your father knows best.

[Narrator]

Yes, his father knows best. Transcribed in Hollywood starring Robert Young as Father. A half hour visit with your neighbors, the Andersons. Brought to you by Maxwell House. The coffee that's bought and enjoyed by more people than any other brand of coffee at any price. Maxwell House, always good to the last drop. Slap a bunch of poets together and at least one thing is bound to emerge. A new definition of love. In one of his flossier moments, Shakespeare wrote, love is a smoke raised with the fume of size, which is very nice if you go in for that sort of thing. The Messrs. Thurber and White, on the other hand, viewed the emotion with a more practical eye. Love, they said, is the strange bewilderment which overtakes one person on account of another person in Springfield, in the white frame house on Maple Street. The Andersons probably have ideas of their own on this ethereal subject, like.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, like this. I think I'll have a little more rice. Would you mind passing it, Betty?

[Betty Anderson]

Yes, Father.

[Jim Anderson]

Jim, honey, let's not start that business about rice being fattening. It isn't.

[Margaret Anderson]

Well, you were the one who said that. You're wasting.

[Jim Anderson]

Margaret, Rice is not fattening. It's the stuff you put on it like butter. Put butter on anything, it's fattening. But have you ever seen me put butter on my rice?

[Margaret Anderson]

No, dear.

[Jim Anderson]

You're darn right you haven't. Kathy, please pass the gravy.

[Betty Anderson]

Here you are, Daddy.

[Jim Anderson]

Now that you mention it, what's wrong with my waistline? I haven't gained a pound in 20 years.

[Margaret Anderson]

What was that?

[Jim Anderson]

Well, maybe two pounds.

[Betty Anderson]

Daddy, look at Bud.

[Jim Anderson]

Why, I've been looking at him for 15 years.

[Betty Anderson]

He is meeting his dinner.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, maybe he's got problems. Bud. Bud.

[Margaret Anderson]

Yes, dear.

[Jim Anderson]

Dear.

[Narrator]

Bud.

[Jim Anderson]

What's the matter with you,

[Betty Anderson]

Jim?

[Margaret Anderson]

Maybe he doesn't feel well.

[Betty Anderson]

He's in love, Daddy.

[Jim Anderson]

Mind your own affairs and eat your dinner.

[Betty Anderson]

Well, he is.

[Jim Anderson]

Bud, do you feel all right, Bud?

[Margaret Anderson]

I'll answer.

[Jim Anderson]

Sit down.

[Bud Anderson]

Don't you want me to answer the phone?

[Jim Anderson]

It didn't ring. Will you please sit down?

[Bud Anderson]

Something rang. I can still hear it. Kind of like bells.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, I think he is ill.

[Betty Anderson]

He's in love.

[Margaret Anderson]

Love?

[Jim Anderson]

Bud, if you don't feel well, go to your room. If you do feel well, eat your dinner.

[Bud Anderson]

Maybe it's the doorbell.

[Betty Anderson]

I didn't hear anything.

[Bud Anderson]

Bud. I just heard it again.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, something is wrong. I don't like the look in his eyes.

[Jim Anderson]

You know, for the first time in her life, Kathy may be right. Look at that idiotic grin

[Betty Anderson]

on me.

[Jim Anderson]

On your brother. He looks like a cross between Boris Karloff and a contented cow. All right, Bud, let's stop all this ridiculous moaning and groaning. What's wrong?

[Margaret Anderson]

Dad?

[Jim Anderson]

Yes?

[Bud Anderson]

Have you ever been in love?

[Margaret Anderson]

Why, Bud?

[Bud Anderson]

I mean, really in love

[Narrator]

with a girl?

[Jim Anderson]

Well, your mother wasn't exactly a rhinoceros.

[Bud Anderson]

You ought to see her eyes, dad. They're blue. The bluest eyes you ever saw. Both of them

[Jim Anderson]

only has two, huh?

[Bud Anderson]

And hair. The most beautiful hair. Like the sun shining on my home plate.

[Jim Anderson]

Bud, is this a girl or a double header between the Yankees and Cleveland?

[Narrator]

It's a girl.

[Bud Anderson]

The most wonderful girl in the whole world.

[Jim Anderson]

Fine. Now eat your dinner.

[Bud Anderson]

Food. How can you think of food at a time like this? I don't think I'll ever eat again. Not ever.

[Jim Anderson]

I remember when I first met your mother, I went through the same thing. People thought I was going to starve to death.

[Betty Anderson]

And did you?

[Jim Anderson]

No, I managed to pull through.

[Betty Anderson]

Daddy?

[Jim Anderson]

Yes, Kathy?

[Betty Anderson]

How long didn't you eat?

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, I don't know. I don't remember exactly. I know I missed practically one entire lunch.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim. Dad.

[Jim Anderson]

What is it? Lock and bar?

[Bud Anderson]

Who?

[Jim Anderson]

What do you want?

[Bud Anderson]

When you and mom fell in love, what'd you do?

[Jim Anderson]

Don't you think you're getting a little nosy?

[Bud Anderson]

No. I mean, how did you know you're in love? How often did you see one another?

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, a few times a week, something like that.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, you were there every night and you know it.

[Jim Anderson]

Margaret, you're being absolutely no help at all. Bud isn't serious about this girl. Are you, Bud?

[Bud Anderson]

Boy, am I.

[Jim Anderson]

I mean, he isn't thinking about marriage or anything ridiculous like that, are you?

[Margaret Anderson]

What is ridiculous about marriage?

[Jim Anderson]

Margaret, he's 15 years old.

[Margaret Anderson]

Oh, I don't mean for Bud.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, we weren't talking about Errol Flynn.

[Margaret Anderson]

Naturally, Bud isn't going to do anything foolish. Not yet, at any rate.

[Jim Anderson]

Of course, not when he Gets a little older, that'll be time enough for him to do something foolish.

[Margaret Anderson]

That's not what I meant and you know it. Bud is a sensible boy, Aren't you, dear?

[Bud Anderson]

Sure.

[Margaret Anderson]

And he knows that he's much too young. He has a lot of time for girls. Haven't you, dear?

[Bud Anderson]

Boy, have I?

[Jim Anderson]

Bud, let's look at this thing in a more practical manner. You know, going out with girls can be kind of expensive. Flowers, candy, movies.

[Bud Anderson]

Well, that's one of the things I wanted to talk about, dad. You see, I only get a dollar and a quarter a week.

[Jim Anderson]

Yes.

[Bud Anderson]

How can you take a girl out on a dollar and a quarter a week?

[Jim Anderson]

You can't.

[Bud Anderson]

Well, that's why I was thinking.

[Jim Anderson]

But if you're really sincere about this girl, if you think your life and happiness depend on her. Well, do what I did. Go sit on her front porch.

[Bud Anderson]

Josh, what kind of fun can you have on a front porch?

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, don't be stupid,

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim.

[Jim Anderson]

Bud, when I was courting your mother, all we did was sit on her front porch. Didn't we, honey?

[Margaret Anderson]

Yes, dear.

[Jim Anderson]

Night after night, week after week, we just sat there and held hands and

[Margaret Anderson]

looked at the moon. A large, lovely, friendly moon.

[Jim Anderson]

Never got so sick and tired of looking at anything in my whole life.

[Margaret Anderson]

Why, Jim.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, let's face it. The same darn thing every night. Just sit there and look at the moon.

[Margaret Anderson]

There were a great many other boys who were perfectly willing to take your place.

[Jim Anderson]

But I wouldn't let them, would I?

[Margaret Anderson]

You certainly wouldn't. You were the stubbornest thing I've ever known.

[Jim Anderson]

Sure, but I was cute, and I knew a good thing when I saw it.

[Bud Anderson]

Dad.

[Jim Anderson]

Now what?

[Bud Anderson]

When you were sure that mom was the right one for you. I mean, when you knew that you couldn't live without her. Then what'd you do?

[Jim Anderson]

Well, I. What did we do, Margaret?

[Margaret Anderson]

Well, you made me get all dressed up in my best bib and tucker. And you took me home to visit your family.

[Jim Anderson]

That's right. I can still feel my knees knocking. Was I ever scared?

[Margaret Anderson]

Not half as scared as I was.

[Jim Anderson]

It turned out all right, though, didn't it, honey? They fell in love with you just like I did.

[Narrator]

God.

[Jim Anderson]

Where are you going?

[Bud Anderson]

I'll be right back, Dad. I have to make a phone call.

[Jim Anderson]

You come back here and eat your dinner.

[Margaret Anderson]

Leave the boy alone, Jim. It's his first big love. Got to get used to it. Love.

[Jim Anderson]

Betty, you haven't said a pleasant word all evening. What's gotten into you?

[Betty Anderson]

She isn't eating her dinner either.

[Jim Anderson]

Why don't you do your homework?

[Betty Anderson]

I did it.

[Jim Anderson]

Do it over again.

[Betty Anderson]

Can't I just keep still?

[Jim Anderson]

All right, but see that you do. Betty, do you feel all right?

[Margaret Anderson]

I feel fine.

[Betty Anderson]

She had a fight with Billy Smith.

[Jim Anderson]

I thought you were going to keep still.

[Betty Anderson]

Well, if I did, nobody'd ever get to know anything around.

[Jim Anderson]

We'd find out somehow.

[Margaret Anderson]

Betty, you and Billy Smith had another argument.

[Betty Anderson]

I never want to see him again as long as I live.

[Jim Anderson]

I thought you were getting along fine.

[Betty Anderson]

We were, until he met that Eloise March. That little sniper.

[Jim Anderson]

Who's Eloise March?

[Betty Anderson]

Just the worst little flirt in town, that's all. And if he wants her, he can have her.

[Margaret Anderson]

Betty, I wouldn't get all upset about it if I were you.

[Betty Anderson]

I'm not upset. I'm not the least bit upset. I just wouldn't give you three cents for all the men in the world, that's all. I would.

[Jim Anderson]

This Eloise March must be quite a character.

[Betty Anderson]

She's a vampire, that's what she is. Is she pretty? How do I know? I've never even seen her. I'm through with men. I'm going to have a career. Instead, I'm going to devote my whole life to being. Being a chemist or something. I still love you, Betty.

[Margaret Anderson]

Oh, dear.

[Jim Anderson]

Taking it pretty hard, isn't she?

[Margaret Anderson]

Well, she and Billy have been friends for so long.

[Jim Anderson]

What do you think we ought to do?

[Betty Anderson]

Mommy.

[Margaret Anderson]

What is it, dear?

[Betty Anderson]

Aren't you glad I don't do anything except break windows?

[Margaret Anderson]

Yes, dear. You're a great help.

[Bud Anderson]

Well, it's all set, Dad. I called her and she's coming over.

[Jim Anderson]

Who's coming over?

[Bud Anderson]

My girl, Bud.

[Jim Anderson]

Why, in the name of all that's holy.

[Bud Anderson]

Well, you said to bring her over, didn't you?

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, I said no such thing.

[Bud Anderson]

But that's what you did. You said so.

[Jim Anderson]

But this is not the time to bring a girl around. We're having enough trouble with girls. Your sister and Eloise March.

[Bud Anderson]

And how did you know?

[Jim Anderson]

How did I know what?

[Bud Anderson]

About Eloise March.

[Jim Anderson]

What about Eloise March?

[Margaret Anderson]

That's my girl.

[Bud Anderson]

Oh, no.

[Narrator]

Now, that's wonderful coffee. Welcome words you can hear across your breakfast table from the world's greatest coffee experts. Yes, ma', am. He'll be there. That number one expert, because he's your husband. Naturally, we think we're pretty fair experts. Our Maxwell House Coffee is America's favorite brand. But the person with the final say, the one we both want to please,

[Jim Anderson]

is that husband of yours.

[Narrator]

And if you'll make his breakfast coffee Maxwell House. We're mighty sure he'll tell you that's wonderful coffee. Matter of fact, if he doesn't, we'll give you your money back. You see, we know there's no coffee made like Maxwell House. And that's why no coffee tastes like Maxwell House. It's the only coffee with that famous

[Jim Anderson]

good to the last drop flavor.

[Narrator]

Get Maxwell House tomorrow and start serving

[Jim Anderson]

it to your husband.

[Narrator]

And if he doesn't say it's the best coffee he ever tasted, why send us the can and unused portion and we'll gladly refund the price you paid. Our address is on the front of every one of those familiar blue tins. Tomorrow find out how much the world's greatest coffee expert enjoys Maxwell House coffee.

[Jim Anderson]

Always good to the last drop.

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[Jim Anderson]

my phone at the same time.

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[Jim Anderson]

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[Narrator]

These are parlous times in which we live and days of great decision. Throughout the world, men of substance watch the headlines with an anxious eye, keeping one ear to the ground and the other glued to the radio. Which is a neat trick if you can do it. Jim Anderson may not quite succeed, but in the living room of the white frame house on Maple street, he's giving it quite a try.

[Jim Anderson]

Like this, Margaret. Why don't people leave things where they belong?

[Narrator]

Margaret.

[Betty Anderson]

What is it, Jim?

[Jim Anderson]

What happened to my large map of Korea?

[Betty Anderson]

I don't know, dear.

[Margaret Anderson]

Where did you put it?

[Jim Anderson]

It was right here on the table.

[Margaret Anderson]

Well, if it was on the table, that's where it ought to be. No one's been in the living room. Jim, what on earth are you doing?

[Jim Anderson]

What's the matter?

[Margaret Anderson]

All those maps on the floor and Bud's friend is going to be here any moment.

[Jim Anderson]

Margaret, I'm waiting for a very important broadcast. It's coming from all over the world, even Moscow. I don't want to miss a word.

[Narrator]

This is the only radio in the

[Jim Anderson]

house that's any good, and you know it.

[Margaret Anderson]

All right, but I still don't see why you need 8 million maps scattered all over the floor.

[Jim Anderson]

There are five maps. Where's the one of Korea I had on the table?

[Margaret Anderson]

Which table?

[Jim Anderson]

This table.

[Margaret Anderson]

What is this?

[Jim Anderson]

That's the map.

[Margaret Anderson]

Of course, you couldn't dream of lifting up a big, heavy magazine.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, the magazine had no business being there in the first place.

[Margaret Anderson]

Dear, if I go into the kitchen, do you think you can find your way back to the radio?

[Jim Anderson]

If I get lost, I'll send up smoke signals. One, if I land and two, if by sea, I'll make an over here. Thinks it's so funny. How did I know it was under the magazine? People go around hiding your maps under magazines. Think all a man has to do is go around looking under magazines and.

[Bud Anderson]

Bud?

[Betty Anderson]

He's upstairs.

[Jim Anderson]

Jim, the doorbell rang.

[Betty Anderson]

Bud, the doorbell rang.

[Bud Anderson]

I'm combing my hair.

[Betty Anderson]

He's combing his hair.

[Jim Anderson]

Jim, what do you want me to do about it?

[Margaret Anderson]

You might answer the door.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, if you're going to be logical, wait until a man has something really important to do. Maps all over the floor. All right, keep your shirt on. I'm coming. Dizzy little character. Probably hasn't got a brain in her head anyway. Hello there.

[Betty Anderson]

Is this the Anderson residence?

[Jim Anderson]

It certainly is. Come on in.

[Betty Anderson]

I'm Eloise Martin. Don't tell me you're Mr. Anderson.

[Jim Anderson]

How did you ever figure that out?

[Betty Anderson]

Oh, I'd have known you anywhere, Mr. Anderson. Really, I would. Lover boys told me so much about you.

[Jim Anderson]

Lover boy has, hasn't he?

[Betty Anderson]

Oh, yeah.

[Jim Anderson]

That was nice of him. Lover boy, Your friend is here. The thundering herd will be down in a minute. He's fixing his makeup.

[Betty Anderson]

I don't mind.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, let's go into the living room and sit down.

[Betty Anderson]

All right. My, you have a lovely home. It's so. So gauche.

[Jim Anderson]

I was hoping you'd notice that we've tried to make it one of the gauchest homes.

[Betty Anderson]

And you certainly have.

[Jim Anderson]

Yeah. Margaret, Bud's friend is here.

[Bud Anderson]

Please.

[Jim Anderson]

Misses Anderson will be right in. Then you can all go into the den and have a nice little chat.

[Betty Anderson]

My, all those great big maps. What are they?

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, just maps of the world. I use them for reference on the important news broadcast.

[Betty Anderson]

You do? Why, how clever.

[Jim Anderson]

I just listen to the broadcasts. I don't deliver them.

[Betty Anderson]

How clever to use maps and of the whole world. It's just like I told Bud. Men are so.

[Jim Anderson]

So gauche.

[Betty Anderson]

Aren't they ever?

[Jim Anderson]

Margaret.

[Betty Anderson]

Oh, fuzzy boy.

[Margaret Anderson]

Hi, Eloise.

[Bud Anderson]

Gee, you look nice.

[Betty Anderson]

Oh, Buzz, I don't either. Why, I threw on just any old thing.

[Bud Anderson]

You sure threw him in the right place, didn't you?

[Jim Anderson]

Yes, he's quite a picture.

[Betty Anderson]

Why, Mr. Anderson.

[Jim Anderson]

And speaking of pictures, why don't you show Ms. Marsh the picture? Pictures in the den or some place.

[Bud Anderson]

But you said when you took mom over to yard.

[Jim Anderson]

Let's not have any arguments about it. There's going to be a very important broadcast.

[Margaret Anderson]

I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, Ms. Marsh, but I was busy in the kitchen.

[Bud Anderson]

Mom, this is Eloise.

[Betty Anderson]

I'd have known you anywhere, Mrs. Anderson, but has told me so much about you.

[Margaret Anderson]

I'm sure he must have.

[Betty Anderson]

Father, was that the phone?

[Jim Anderson]

No, it wasn't the phone. It was the doorbell.

[Betty Anderson]

I'll be right down.

[Jim Anderson]

It wasn't for you. Margaret, why don't you take Bud and Eloise into the den and give them some milk and cookies or something.

[Betty Anderson]

Milk and cookies?

[Bud Anderson]

Holy cow. Dad.

[Betty Anderson]

Mr. Anderson, you're so droll.

[Margaret Anderson]

Margaret, why don't we show Eloise the pictures we took this summer? Buddy, I'm sure she'd like that.

[Bud Anderson]

But I thought when dad took you over to his house.

[Betty Anderson]

Hi. What's all the excitement about?

[Jim Anderson]

Betty, why don't you go back upstairs?

[Betty Anderson]

What for?

[Margaret Anderson]

We'll explain all about it later.

[Betty Anderson]

Go ahead, dear. Why can't I stay down here? I know. You must be Kathy.

[Jim Anderson]

That's Betty.

[Betty Anderson]

Oh, of course. Betty, I'd have known you anywhere. Bud's told me so much about you. I'm Eloise March. No,

[Jim Anderson]

Margaret. Why don't you all go into the den?

[Betty Anderson]

The nerve of her, coming into this house after what she did to me.

[Bud Anderson]

What who did to you?

[Margaret Anderson]

Bud, why don't you take Eloise?

[Betty Anderson]

She came here to sneer at me, that's what she did.

[Margaret Anderson]

Eloise?

[Betty Anderson]

I don't know what she's talking about. I swear I don't. Oh, yes, you do. You know just what I'm talking about.

[Jim Anderson]

If you'd all just go into the den.

[Bud Anderson]

Now, see here, Betty, you have no right to talk. Talk to Eloise that way.

[Betty Anderson]

I'll talk to her any way I choose.

[Bud Anderson]

You will not.

[Betty Anderson]

I certainly will.

[Margaret Anderson]

Betty, if you'll just go upstairs like a good girl.

[Jim Anderson]

Why don't you all go into the den?

[Betty Anderson]

Look at her. Powder and paint an inch thick. And Billy Smith thinks she's so wonderful.

[Bud Anderson]

Billy Smith?

[Betty Anderson]

But, honey, you know I don't care about anybody but you. You told the same thing to Billy Smith. I never did, but. And Janie Liggett's sister said you told the same thing to Russell Spencer.

[Bud Anderson]

Eloise, you didn't.

[Betty Anderson]

She certainly did, Betty. And he was going steady with Marion Swift all the time, and you knew it. I did not know it.

[Margaret Anderson]

But, Jim, it won't do any good.

[Jim Anderson]

It has to. They're going to start the broadcast any minute. Look, if you'll all just go into the den.

[Bud Anderson]

Eloise, how could you?

[Betty Anderson]

How could I what?

[Bud Anderson]

Say what you said when you said. You never said what you said before.

[Betty Anderson]

Well, I never did did say it before. You certainly did. Buzzy, how can you stand there and let her talk like that?

[Bud Anderson]

You told me you never went out with older men.

[Betty Anderson]

I don't.

[Bud Anderson]

Billy Smith's 18 and you went out

[Betty Anderson]

with him only three or four times. And that doesn't mean anything, does it?

[Bud Anderson]

You've only been out with me twice.

[Jim Anderson]

Bud, you're standing on my mat.

[Betty Anderson]

Just because I go out with a boy three or four times. What does that prove?

[Bud Anderson]

Daddy, you went out with Billy Smith and you told me you didn't go

[Narrator]

out with Billy Smith.

[Betty Anderson]

Not since Tuesday.

[Jim Anderson]

Bud, you're walking all over Alaska.

[Bud Anderson]

Just because he's older than I am and gets a bigger allowance.

[Betty Anderson]

He does.

[Bud Anderson]

So does everybody else. Why don't you go out with them?

[Betty Anderson]

Don't worry, she will. Daddy, telephone.

[Jim Anderson]

Why don't you all go into the telephone?

[Betty Anderson]

I'm going home, that's where I'm going. Good. And, Bud Anderson, you're just the nastiest boy I've ever known in my whole life.

[Margaret Anderson]

Bud, why don't you take Ms. March to the door?

[Bud Anderson]

She just said I was nasty.

[Betty Anderson]

She doesn't have to take me to the door now or ever.

[Bud Anderson]

And that goes for me, too.

[Jim Anderson]

If you'll just go into the den.

[Betty Anderson]

I'm sorry I ever came into this house, that's why. And I'm sorry I said it was gauche, because it isn't.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, holy cow.

[Betty Anderson]

Daddy, telephone. I heard you.

[Margaret Anderson]

All right. Betty, answer the phone.

[Betty Anderson]

Brazen little snip. I guess I told her she was.

[Bud Anderson]

And I spend my whole allowance on a box of candles, candy for her.

[Jim Anderson]

If no one has an objection now, may I listen to the broadcast?

[Bud Anderson]

A whole dollar And a quarter gone.

[Margaret Anderson]

Bud, why don't you go into the kitchen and fix yourself a sandwich?

[Bud Anderson]

A sandwich? How can you eat with a broken heart?

[Jim Anderson]

Easier than with an upper plate. Now stop acting like an idiot and behave yourself.

[Bud Anderson]

Women are just a curse of humanity.

[Margaret Anderson]

Yes, dear. We're awful.

[Bud Anderson]

Oh, I didn't mean you, Mom.

[Jim Anderson]

Margaret, will you take that boy out and drown him? I've got to have quiet in here for the broadcast.

[Margaret Anderson]

All right, Bud, let's go inside. Now.

[Betty Anderson]

Mother, it was Billy. It was Billy Smith. He explained all about Eloise Mars.

[Jim Anderson]

Betty, please.

[Betty Anderson]

He's a psychology major and he was just using her for research.

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, no,

[Margaret Anderson]

that's fine, dear.

[Betty Anderson]

And he's coming over right away with Russell Spencer and Marion Swift.

[Jim Anderson]

No.

[Betty Anderson]

What?

[Jim Anderson]

I've had enough of this circus tonight. This is my house, too. I live here just as much as anybody and I'm going to listen to this broadcast.

[Betty Anderson]

But, Father, I told them.

[Jim Anderson]

I don't care what you told them. I'm going to hear the broadcast and that's final.

[Margaret Anderson]

Betty, there's no reason why you and your friends can't go down to the playroom.

[Betty Anderson]

But we'll have to sneak around on our tiptoe.

[Jim Anderson]

Quiet, please.

[Narrator]

At 9 o', clock, due to this unforeseen difficulty, the news broadcast originally scheduled for this period will not be heard. In its place, we bring you that heartwarming tale of young love, the romance of Susan Blake.

[Margaret Anderson]

Oh, no.

[Narrator]

Well, at a time like that, I guess there just isn't much for Father to say. But I know one place where he's always got some mighty important words when it comes to coffee. He can tell you exactly where to get the most in flavor. For your money, sure. Father knows best. He's the world's greatest coffee expert, just like that man of yours. And we think it'll really pay you to get your husband's expert opinion on our Maxwell House coffee. Because when he tries a cup and says, best coffee I ever tasted, you'll know Maxwell House gives you the most for your money, the most in flavor, the most impure pleasure. Get a pound of Maxwell House tomorrow. See how your husband takes to that wonderful good to the last drop flavor. And count all the cups of truly good coffee you get from that £1. We think you'll be convinced your coffee buy is Maxwell House coffee because it's always good to the last drop. It's midnight in Springfield and all is quiet in the white frame house on Maple Street. That is all should be nice and quiet. But you know how it is with the Andersons. Noon or midnight. There's never a dull moment like this.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim.

[Betty Anderson]

Jim.

[Jim Anderson]

What? What's the matter?

[Betty Anderson]

Jim, wake up.

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, what for?

[Margaret Anderson]

Listen, I just heard something downstairs.

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, go to sleep, Margaret. It's probably nothing but a burglar.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, are you going downstairs or do you want me to call Bud?

[Jim Anderson]

No, never mind. I'll go.

[Margaret Anderson]

Be very careful, dear. Please.

[Jim Anderson]

Please. Sure, I'll be careful.

[Betty Anderson]

If it is a burglar, just call the police.

[Jim Anderson]

That's a very good idea. Thank you very much. Wake a man out of a sound sleep and then expect him to go roaming around in the dark. Oh, dear. One of these nights I'm gonna fall down the stairs and break my neck. Serve him right too. Call the police. What did you think I was gonna do, Wrestle with them? All right. Oh, hiya, dad.

[Bud Anderson]

What's up?

[Jim Anderson]

I am. What are you doing down here?

[Bud Anderson]

I was hungry. Want a sandwich?

[Jim Anderson]

No, thank you. What happened to your broken heart?

[Bud Anderson]

Oh, I don't know. I was an awful boob, wasn't I?

[Jim Anderson]

No, not exactly, but you're getting there. Now hurry up and get back to bed. Your mother's worried enough for one night.

[Bud Anderson]

Okay. Oh, say, dad.

[Jim Anderson]

Yes?

[Bud Anderson]

Did you put a dollar on my dresser?

[Jim Anderson]

We'll talk about it tomorrow.

[Bud Anderson]

Dad.

[Jim Anderson]

Now what? Thanks for everything. Go to bed.

[Bud Anderson]

You bet. Good night, dad.

[Jim Anderson]

Good night, lover. Bo.

[Narrator]

It's a wonderful feeling to start the day singing Life is swell when you keep well, that's why post 40% brand flakes have become America's largest selling brand flakes. Every 1 ounce serving of post 40% brand flakes provides brand to help prevent irregularity due to lack of bulk in the diet. They're so delicious tasting and so good for you too. Tomorrow, serve America's favorite Bran Flakes, post 40% Bran Flakes. Join us again next week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best, starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson, with Roy Barkey and the Maxwell House Orchestra and yours truly, Bill Foreman. So until next Thursday, good night and good luck from the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand of caulk. Always good to the last drop. Father Knows Best was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed James. Now stay tuned in for Dragnet, which follows immediately over most of these stations. Now it's dragnet. Next Tuesday, laugh with bob hope on NBC.

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[Jim Anderson]

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