Father Knows Best - Who Has the Time

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Father Knows Best – “Who Has the Time”

Harold's Old Time Radio
June 21, 2026
Episode Duration: ~32 minutes

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Episode Overview

This episode of Father Knows Best, titled “Who Has the Time,” revisits the classic chaos of the Anderson household—this time centered on one of mid-century America’s favorite topics: Daylight Saving Time. When the impending visit of Aunt Martha coincides with the seasonal clock change, confusion reigns supreme. Jim Anderson attempts to wrangle his family and the household clocks, only to fall victim himself to the “time change confusion” epidemic.

Through quick-witted banter and slapstick misunderstandings about shifting the clocks, listeners are treated to both technical arguments and comedic family dynamics that remain relatable even in modern times.

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Key Discussion Points & Notable Scenes

1. The Anderson’s Evening Routine and the “Trouser Concession”

• (01:49-05:01) The episode opens with Jim Anderson complaining about his constant tiredness and his inability to claim his own clothes due to Bud’s hayride attire.
  • Memorable Moment: Margaret’s dry, distracted responses—“Yes, dear”—set up the classic family rhythm.
  • Quote:
    Jim: "Anytime I want to wear something, Bud has it on." (03:37)
  • Jim wishes for an uninterrupted night’s sleep, and Betty tries to choose a nail polish for her date.

2. Daylight Saving Time: Chaos with the Clocks

• (08:00-13:00) The heart of the episode features the Andersons debating when and how to change the clocks for Daylight Saving. Jim acts on his (incorrect) recollection, only for every member of the family to meddle with the clocks in their own way.
  • Quote:
    Margaret: “You can't gain anything by going backward. You have to go forward.” (09:24)
    Jim: "You gain the hour you lost because you get it over again. You have the same hour twice." (09:17)
  • Each family member gets involved, resulting in the clocks all reading different times and Betty being told to go to bed at the wrong hour.
  • Memorable Moment: Bud and Betty both had set the clocks back—on top of Kathy’s and Jim’s efforts—rendering timekeeping impossible.
  • Quote:
    Bud: "Well, she told me she turned the clocks ahead, so I turned them back." (11:39)

3. The Aunt Martha Telegram and Last-Minute Preparations

• (06:40-12:00, 16:45-27:00) A telegram from Jim’s Aunt Martha announces an imminent Sunday arrival—with scant detail. The Andersons scramble between station and bus depot, confused by her vague instructions and the muddled clocks.
  • Quote:
    Jim: "Arrive Sunday, be at Depot with children. Eight o' clock... Aunt Martha didn't even say love. And it's only nine words. It wouldn't have cost her anything." (06:50)
  • Confusion with time zones and train schedules abounds at the station, leading to multiple misadventures.
  • Quote:
    Station Attendant: "Which 8 o’ clock? Eastern, Central, Mountain, or Pacific?" (19:44)
  • Memorable Moment: Betty’s crisis over her nails and Bud’s entire hayride disappearing due to the lost hour.

4. The Climactic Realization

• (25:32-26:00) Just as Jim leaves to check the bus depot, Margaret calls—Aunt Martha has sent a follow-up telegram:
  • Quote:
    Margaret: "Right after you left, we got another telegram from Aunt Martha. She isn't coming." (25:55)
  • The family’s chaotic efforts and lost sleep were for nothing—a final comic punchline.

5. The Aftermath and Lessons Learned

• (27:21-end) A quick epilogue shows the odd, but logical, consequences:
  • Betty’s “eight shades of nail polish” becomes a school fad.
  • Bud learns the hayride ended with a poison ivy outbreak.
  • Betty alone knew the answer about Daylight Saving in class.
  • The time change confusion persists, even for Margaret and Jim.
  • Quote:
    Jim: "If it's 8 o' clock and you turn your watch back to 7 o' clock, then you've got 60 whole minutes to live over again." (29:05)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jim’s Frustration with Clothing:
  • "So a man can't call his pants his own." (03:37)
• Margaret’s Sarcasm and Patience:
  • "In the future, please let me handle the trouser concession." (03:30)
• The Eternal Daylight Saving Debate:
  • "You have to go forward." – Margaret (09:24)
  • "You get the hour over again." – Jim (29:05)
• Comedic Confusion at the Train Station:
  • "Which 8 o’ clock? Eastern, Central, Mountain, or Pacific?" – Station Attendant (19:44)
  • "Shall we dance?" – Jim, exasperated at the impasse at the station (22:52)
• Aunt Martha’s Antics:
  • The ultimate joke: all the family’s effort was for naught, as Aunt Martha cancels her trip.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• The Clocks Debate: 08:00 – 13:00
• Telegram & Panic: 06:40 – 12:00, 16:45 – 27:00
• Station Confusion: 16:37 – 24:00
• Announcement Aunt Martha Isn’t Coming: 25:32 – 26:00
• Family Aftermath/Epilogue: 27:21 – 30:41

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Tone & Style

The episode embodies wholesome, mid-century American humor: fast, witty dialogue, gentle ribbing between family members, and the blending of everyday domesticity with slapstick chaos. The writing is sharp, warm, and relatable, with each Anderson contributing their own quirks to the muddle.

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Why It’s Still Relatable

Any family that’s ever dealt with daylight saving time (or any schedule change) will appreciate the comedic futility, from debating whether to “spring forward” or “fall back” to the inevitably missed appointments and confounded clocks. The episode shines a lighthearted spotlight on the universal confusion of timekeeping and coordination in a busy family.

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In summary:
"Who Has the Time" is a classic, laugh-out-loud Anderson family misadventure, reminding us that sometimes, in the rush and muddle of everyday life, it’s better to just leave the clocks—and maybe Aunt Martha—alone.

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Transcript

[Jim Anderson]

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[Betty Anderson]

Mother, is Maxwell House the best coffee in the whole world?

[Margaret Anderson]

Well, your father says so. And your father knows best.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Yes, if Father knows best transcribed in Hollywood starring Robert Young as Father. A half hour visit with your neighbors, the Andersons. Brought to you by Maxwell House. The coffee that's bought and enjoyed by more people than any other brand of

[Jim Anderson]

coffee at any price.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Maxwell House, always good to the last drop. When you get right down to it, life today can be pretty complicated. You can't simplify things the way Cervantes did when he wrote, there's a time for some things and a time for all things. A time for great things and a

[Jim Anderson]

time for small things.

[Narrator/Announcer]

If you wrote a thing like that today, you know what they'd say? They'd say, what kind of time, Daylight saving or standard? See what I mean? Life has become very confusing. And in Springfield. And the white frame house on Maple Street.

[Jim Anderson]

The Andersons will probably confuse it still further. Like this. I don't know what's gotten into me lately. I keep yawning all the time.

[Margaret Anderson]

Yes, dear.

[Jim Anderson]

Yes. I must be getting old.

[Margaret Anderson]

Yes, dear.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, you don't have to agree with me, Margaret.

[Margaret Anderson]

Oh, I'm sorry, dear. I guess I wasn't listening. I was just reading. Jim, you're not going to spread those maps all over the floor again.

[Jim Anderson]

Why not?

[Margaret Anderson]

Because you disrupt the entire household, that's why not. And furthermore.

[Jim Anderson]

Just a second, honey. What is it, Bud?

[Bud Anderson]

Is it all right if I wear your blue denim shirt?

[Jim Anderson]

No, it isn't all right. Use your own good.

[Bud Anderson]

Gosh.

[Jim Anderson]

What were you saying, dear?

[Margaret Anderson]

I was saying, why can't you listen to a news broadcast like anyone else? You don't see other people spreading maps all over the floor.

[Jim Anderson]

For your information, my pet, General MacArthur would rather be caught dead than listen to a news broadcast without his maps.

[Margaret Anderson]

Well, if it makes you and General MacArthur happy by.

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, what is it, Bud?

[Bud Anderson]

It's in the wash. What is? My denim shirt. And the pants, too.

[Jim Anderson]

Then wear something else.

[Bud Anderson]

But I've got the denim pants on.

[Jim Anderson]

What denim pants?

[Bud Anderson]

Yours, Bud.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, he's going on a hay ride and I didn't want him to wear any of his good clothes. And I knew you wouldn't mind.

[Bud Anderson]

Bud. Yes, dad?

[Jim Anderson]

Take the denim shirt.

[Bud Anderson]

Thanks, dad. You're a pal.

[Jim Anderson]

And, Margaret.

[Margaret Anderson]

Yes, dear?

[Jim Anderson]

In the future, please let me handle the trouser concession.

[Margaret Anderson]

Oh, all right, dear.

[Coffee Announcer]

Gun.

[Jim Anderson]

So a man can't call his pants his own. Anytime I want to wear something, Bud has it on.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, you've done nothing but yawn ever since you got home. Why don't you go to bed?

[Jim Anderson]

I'm going to bed right after the news broadcast. And I'd give 10 bucks to be able to sleep until noon.

[Margaret Anderson]

Well, tomorrow, Sunday, Why don't you golf?

[Jim Anderson]

Eight o'. Clock.

[Margaret Anderson]

Oh, Jim.

[Betty Anderson]

Hi, parents. What cooks?

[Margaret Anderson]

The the do and don't department. The what?

[Jim Anderson]

Never mind, Margaret. She just came in on a flying saucer we're not supposed to. Understand, Father, don't pay any attention to her and she'll probably dissolve into thin air.

[Margaret Anderson]

What is it, Betty? I thought you had a date with Dick Andrews.

[Betty Anderson]

Oh, there's lots of time. Look, which nail polish do you like best?

[Jim Anderson]

If that isn't a weird setup.

[Margaret Anderson]

Betty, you aren't going out that way, are you?

[Betty Anderson]

With eight different shades of nail polish?

[Station Attendant]

Of course not.

[Betty Anderson]

But which one do you like best?

[Jim Anderson]

The one you've got on your thumbs.

[Betty Anderson]

I don't have any on my thumbs.

[Jim Anderson]

That's the one I like best,

[Betty Anderson]

Mother.

[Margaret Anderson]

They all look very nice, dear. And I really think you ought to get dressed.

[Betty Anderson]

Oh, pretty soon. I was just thinking about the piece of apple pie that was left over from dinner.

[Margaret Anderson]

Well, it's in the icebox.

[Betty Anderson]

It won't be for long. Creepers. If somebody only tell me which shade they like best, I wouldn't have all this trouble.

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, good grief. Anytime I decide to go to bed

[Bud Anderson]

early, I'll get it.

[Jim Anderson]

But can't you learn to walk down the stairs? One of these days the whole house is going to collapse.

[Bud Anderson]

Did you want me, Dan?

[Jim Anderson]

No, just answer the door.

[Bud Anderson]

That's what I was going to do.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, go ahead.

[Bud Anderson]

Didn't you want something?

[Jim Anderson]

I want you to see who rang the doorbell.

[Bud Anderson]

I heard you call me and I thought you wanted something.

[Jim Anderson]

Bud.

[Bud Anderson]

Yes, dad?

[Jim Anderson]

Please answer the door.

[Bud Anderson]

You bet, dad. Right away.

[Jim Anderson]

I think he lies in bed at night trying to figure out ways to torment me.

[Margaret Anderson]

No, dear, you're just tired. Now, if you've had a good night's rest, everything will seem much brighter.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, I hope you're right and I don't care Who? It is Margaret. I'm not going to stay up after 10 o'. Clock.

[Margaret Anderson]

No, dear, but we can't be rude, can we?

[Jim Anderson]

Maybe you can't, but I can't. 10 o' clock is my limit. Who is it, Bud?

[Bud Anderson]

It was Willie Freehawker. And boy, did he ever look funny. His hat was way down over his ears and he said he couldn't help it because that was the only size they had. But if they can't get one to fit him, he's gonna stuff it full of newspaper and. And then he thinks it'll fit better.

[Jim Anderson]

What did he want?

[Bud Anderson]

Oh, he brought a telegram. Here you are, dad.

[Jim Anderson]

Just anytime at all. We'll be fine.

[Bud Anderson]

You should have seen him, Mom. He had this Western Union hat on and he could hardly see his face. And he had to hold his head

[Jim Anderson]

way back like this.

[Narrator/Announcer]

No.

[Bud Anderson]

Yes, he did, dad. You see, he had the hat way in the back.

[Jim Anderson]

He can't come. Not again.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, it isn't your Aunt Martha.

[Jim Anderson]

It certainly is my Aunt Martha. Oh, look at it. Arrive Sunday, be at Depot with children. Eight o'.

[Coffee Announcer]

Clock.

[Jim Anderson]

Aunt Martha didn't even say love. And it's only nine words. It wouldn't have cost her anything.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim.

[Jim Anderson]

Just a minute, honey. Bud, aren't you supposed to go on a hay ride?

[Bud Anderson]

Sure.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, go ahead.

[Bud Anderson]

I don't have to leave for 10 minutes,

[Margaret Anderson]

dear. Your father and I have something to discuss.

[Bud Anderson]

Oh, okay.

[Margaret Anderson]

I was just thinking.

[Bud Anderson]

Remember the piece of apple pie that was left over from dinner?

[Jim Anderson]

Betty thought of it first.

[Bud Anderson]

What?

[Jim Anderson]

She's in the kitchen with it now.

[Bud Anderson]

She had two pieces for dinner. Betty, wait a minute. I want to talk to you.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, why doesn't your Aunt Martha ever give us more notice?

[Jim Anderson]

I don't know, honey.

[Margaret Anderson]

Now I've got to work all night to tidy up the house.

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, it looks fin just the way it is.

[Margaret Anderson]

It doesn't at all. And you know how fussy she is.

[Jim Anderson]

Sure. She's afraid she might get a little dust on one of her thousand dollar bills. Oh, crab. Free room and board at the Andersons. No wonder she's rich. She never spends anything.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, Kathy's coming.

[Jim Anderson]

Old buzzard. A fine Sunday I'm going to have.

[Margaret Anderson]

Kathy, where on earth have you been?

[Station Attendant]

In the kitchen.

[Betty Anderson]

I was watching Betty make a sandwich.

[Jim Anderson]

A sandwich? What happened to the pie?

[Betty Anderson]

I ate it.

[Jim Anderson]

Why aren't you in bed?

[Betty Anderson]

It isn't time.

[Jim Anderson]

It certainly is time. It's almost 9 o'. Clock.

[Betty Anderson]

It isn't even 8 o'.

[Station Attendant]

Clock.

[Jim Anderson]

Stop arguing with me and go to bed?

[Betty Anderson]

But you said I could stay up until 8:30.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Well, look at the hall clock.

[Jim Anderson]

It's almost 9.

[Margaret Anderson]

Oh, no, dear. It isn't quite five minutes of 8. And besides.

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, I guess I forgot to tell you. I turned all the clocks back.

[Betty Anderson]

You did?

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, whatever on earth for?

[Jim Anderson]

Because tomorrow is the last Sunday in September. We go back to standard time at 2:00'. Clock. And I certainly don't intend to get up at 2 o' clock in the morning to fix a bunch of clocks.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, you aren't supposed to turn the clocks back. You're supposed to turn them ahead.

[Jim Anderson]

Margaret, the principle of daylight saving is to save daylight, right? So you turn the clocks back in September and gain the hour you lost in April. That's simple enough, isn't it?

[Margaret Anderson]

If you turn them back, dear, how can you gain anything?

[Jim Anderson]

You gain the hour you lost because you get it over again. You have the same hour twice.

[Margaret Anderson]

You can't gain anything by going backward. You have to go forward.

[Jim Anderson]

Not with clocks, you don't. You turn them back.

[Betty Anderson]

Daddy.

[Jim Anderson]

What is it?

[Betty Anderson]

Kathy, you turned them back in April.

[Jim Anderson]

I did not turn them back in April. I turned them ahead.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, you said in April that we gained an hour of daylight.

[Jim Anderson]

That's right, because it stayed early. Later, I mean. Got later early. Margaret. The sun stayed up longer.

[Betty Anderson]

Why?

[Jim Anderson]

Because it got late.

[SpinQuest Announcer 2]

Later.

[Margaret Anderson]

Kathy, I think you'd better go to bed.

[Betty Anderson]

But Daddy said we lost an hour in April and he turned the clocks backwards. Now we ought to turn them.

[Jim Anderson]

Fat words, Kathleen. No matter what I did in April, tomorrow we do not turn the clock that ahead.

[Betty Anderson]

No, no, I already did,

[Jim Anderson]

Kathy.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, she was only doing what she thought was right.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, she had no business doing anything. If you don't understand the principle of daylight saving, you don't move the clocks around.

[Betty Anderson]

But Mommy said.

[Jim Anderson]

Never mind what Mommy said. You didn't see her changing the clocks, did you?

[Margaret Anderson]

No, Jim. Yes, I moved them ahead, too. Well, I'm sure that's what you're supposed to do. The paper said you gained an hour.

[Jim Anderson]

You gain an hour by turning the clocks back.

[Betty Anderson]

Well, what time is it?

[Jim Anderson]

How do I know? The way everybody gets the clocks all messed up.

[Bud Anderson]

Betty.

[Betty Anderson]

Yes, Father?

[Jim Anderson]

What time does it say on the kitchen clock?

[Betty Anderson]

A quarter of four.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, that's a great help.

[Bud Anderson]

What's all the fuss about, dad?

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, nothing. Nothing at all. It's just that people shouldn't mess around with things they don't understand.

[Betty Anderson]

Daddy's mad because I move the clocks ahead.

[Margaret Anderson]

It's perfectly all right, dear. You meant well.

[Betty Anderson]

I didn't know I was going to get everything mixed up.

[Bud Anderson]

You don't have to worry, dad. Cassie didn't spoil anything.

[Jim Anderson]

What do you mean?

[Bud Anderson]

Well, she told me she turned the clocks ahead, so I turned them back.

[Betty Anderson]

Bud, you moron.

[Margaret Anderson]

What?

[Betty Anderson]

You didn't turn him back. You couldn't.

[Bud Anderson]

Why couldn't I?

[Betty Anderson]

Because I turned them back too.

[Margaret Anderson]

Oh, Betty.

[Station Attendant]

Well, I thought I was just making

[Betty Anderson]

it the right time.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, where are you going?

[Jim Anderson]

I'm going to find out what time it is. You've got the clocks in this house all mixed up. We can't tell if it's Wednesday or Friday.

[Betty Anderson]

Daddy, it's Saturday.

[Jim Anderson]

Thank you very much.

[Station Attendant]

At the tone, the time will be 8, 50, 8 and 40 seconds.

[Jim Anderson]

There. Now we know. From now on, please leave the clocks alone.

[Margaret Anderson]

What time is it, dear?

[Jim Anderson]

What she said. 8:50. One minute to nine.

[Margaret Anderson]

Nine to nine.

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[Jim Anderson]

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[Safeway/Albertsons Announcer]

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[Betty Anderson]

Gosh, I ought to be in bed. Good night, everybody. Oh, Mother, I'm half an hour late now and I've got on eight shades of nail polish. What am I gonna do?

[Bud Anderson]

Holy cow. I miss the whole hayride.

[Margaret Anderson]

Betty, stop moaning. Get dressed and go.

[Betty Anderson]

But my nails.

[Margaret Anderson]

They'll never notice the nails.

[Betty Anderson]

I'm ruined. My whole life is ruined. Good night, everybody.

[Bud Anderson]

The last hayride of the year and I missed it.

[Margaret Anderson]

Maybe they waited for you, bud.

[Bud Anderson]

They couldn't. There was a rule. No waiting for anybody.

[Margaret Anderson]

Are you sure?

[Bud Anderson]

Sure I'm sure. I made up the rule.

[Jim Anderson]

Daddy, you know this whole thing Is very interesting. It merely proves what I've been telling you for years. If you don't understand something, leave it alone. You see what happened? Betty's late for her date. Bud missed his hayride.

[Margaret Anderson]

And what time was your broadcast, dear?

[Jim Anderson]

Eight o'. Clock. Oh, my gosh.

[Betty Anderson]

Daddy.

[Jim Anderson]

Not now, Please, Kathy. Everybody be quiet.

[Narrator/Announcer]

And so we bring to a close this full hour of news broadcasting from around the world. Tune in again.

[Margaret Anderson]

Oh, Jim, dear,

[Jim Anderson]

what was it you wanted to say? Kathy?

[Betty Anderson]

Good night, everybody.

[Coffee Announcer]

Another cup of coffee, please. It's the best I ever tasted. Tomorrow you can hear that from the world's greatest coffee expert. Yes, ma'. Am. He'll be there at your table because the world's greatest coffee expert is your husband. Of course, we rate ourselves pretty high as experts. Our Maxwell House Coffee has long been America's favorite brand. But we know the final judge is that man of yours. And if you pour him a cup of Maxwell House, we're pretty certain he'll say, best coffee I ever tasted. In fact, if he doesn't, we'll give you your money back. You see, we know no other coffee tastes like Maxwell House because no other coffee's made like Maxwell House.

[Jim Anderson]

Get a pound.

[Coffee Announcer]

Tomorrow, start serving your husband the coffee with that wonderful good to the last drop flavor. If he doesn't tell you it's his number one choice, why, you send us the can and unused portion and we'll gladly refund the price you paid. Our address is right on the front of every one of those familiar blue tins. Put it up to the world's greatest coffee expert. Tomorrow, give him Maxwell House coffee. Always good to the last drop.

[Narrator/Announcer]

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[Jim Anderson]

All right, Bud, let's watch where we're going.

[Bud Anderson]

What?

[Narrator/Announcer]

You're bumping into everybody.

[Bud Anderson]

Pardon me.

[Jim Anderson]

Betty, hold your brother's eyes open.

[Betty Anderson]

I'll hold them open, Daddy. You should have seen them stare at me, Father. You'd have thought I was a freak or something. Just because my nails didn't match.

[Bud Anderson]

Pardon me.

[Jim Anderson]

Fine telegram doesn't say what train she's coming on or where she's leaving from. Just be there at 8 o'. Clock.

[Betty Anderson]

Daddy, I can't reach his eyes. Should I stick him with a pin?

[Jim Anderson]

Never mind, Kathy. Skip the whole thing.

[Betty Anderson]

Gee whiz.

[Bud Anderson]

Pardon me.

[Coffee Announcer]

All right, Bud, that's enough.

[Jim Anderson]

Let's wake up Bud.

[Betty Anderson]

Why don't we just prop him up against a post and pretend we don't know him.

[Jim Anderson]

He'll come too, in a little while. Bud.

[Margaret Anderson]

Bud, breakfast.

[Bud Anderson]

What?

[Jim Anderson]

All right, now, stay away.

[Bud Anderson]

Somebody said breakfast.

[Station Attendant]

They did?

[Margaret Anderson]

Well, whoever could it have been?

[Bud Anderson]

Hey, we're at the station. How do we get down here?

[Jim Anderson]

We'll draw your diagram as soon as we find Aunt Martha. What happened to the information booth?

[Betty Anderson]

It's in back of the magazine stand.

[Jim Anderson]

Where'd they move the magazine stand?

[Betty Anderson]

It's right over there, Daddy. See?

[Jim Anderson]

Stick everything into a corner where you can't see it. Come on, Bud, this is no time to sit down.

[Bud Anderson]

People get arrested for yelling fire when there isn't any fire. Why should she yell breakfast when there isn't any breakfast?

[Betty Anderson]

It was a joke, Dopey.

[Jim Anderson]

Some joke.

[Margaret Anderson]

Well, it woke you up.

[Bud Anderson]

I was waking up. Anyway, you didn't have to yell breakfast.

[Jim Anderson]

And Cornelia said, these are my jewels, my children.

[Bud Anderson]

What?

[Jim Anderson]

Never mind. I was just mumbling.

[Betty Anderson]

Here's the information booth, Daddy.

[Jim Anderson]

Thank you, Kathy. You're a great help.

[Betty Anderson]

I am?

[Jim Anderson]

You certainly are.

[Betty Anderson]

Boy, is this a mixed up morning.

[Jim Anderson]

I beg your pardon? We have a wire from an aunt of mine telling us to meet her here at 8 o'.

[Coffee Announcer]

Clock.

[Jim Anderson]

And we don't know exactly where. Where she's coming from. So could you give us any information about any train that's supposed to arrive here, anywhere in the neighborhood of that time? I said we have a wire from an aunt of mine.

[Station Attendant]

What do you mean you don't know where she's coming from?

[Jim Anderson]

Well, my aunt was staying with my cousins in Bedford. That's where the wire came from. And there isn't any train in Bedford.

[Margaret Anderson]

So?

[Jim Anderson]

Well, Bedford's halfway between Lancaster and New Canaan. And there's a station in Lancaster on the Lackawanna, St. Paul. And a station in New Canaan on the Springfield and Northern.

[Station Attendant]

Oh, wait a minute. This is the information desk. I'm supposed to be telling you.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, let's not stand on ceremonies. Is there a train from either place at 8 o'? Clock?

[Station Attendant]

Which 8 o'?

[Jim Anderson]

Clock?

[Station Attendant]

Eastern, Central, Mountain or Pacific? Coast.

[Jim Anderson]

Suppose we try Central?

[Station Attendant]

Oh, let me see. Nope.

[Betty Anderson]

No train at 8 o'. Clock.

[Jim Anderson]

How about Eastern?

[Bud Anderson]

Eastern or Britain?

[Betty Anderson]

Here we are.

[Station Attendant]

New Canaan, 8 o', clock, 11:30.

[Jim Anderson]

Look, is there any train due in

[Bud Anderson]

here at 8 o', clock, a.m. or

[Jim Anderson]

p.m. i don't know. She just said to meet her at 8 o'. Clock.

[Station Attendant]

Well, wait till I get my book. I'll look it up.

[Jim Anderson]

You do that.

[Betty Anderson]

Father, Bud's asleep again.

[Jim Anderson]

Let him sleep. One of us might as well be having A good time. Where's Kathy?

[Betty Anderson]

I don't know. Kathy.

[Jim Anderson]

All you have to do is leave her alone for 10 seconds.

[Bud Anderson]

Kathy?

[Betty Anderson]

She was standing right next to me a minute ago.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, see if you can find her before she breaks one of the locomotives. Bud, we've lost Kathy. Good. Bud.

[Betty Anderson]

Do you want me to say it again?

[Jim Anderson]

No. Just go find your sister.

[Margaret Anderson]

Okay.

[Betty Anderson]

Kathy. Kathy.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Attention, please. This is your last call for the new Westerner leaving on track four for Plainfield, Rockville, Middletown, Fitzfield, Madison and Klamath Junction. The dining car is forward and is now open for breakfast.

[Bud Anderson]

Hmm.

[Margaret Anderson]

What?

[Jim Anderson]

But we can't find Kathy.

[Bud Anderson]

Somebody said breakfast.

[Jim Anderson]

We'll all have breakfast in a few minutes.

[Coffee Announcer]

Why don't you go look for Kathy?

[Bud Anderson]

Where'd she go?

[Jim Anderson]

We don't know where she went. Just look for her.

[Bud Anderson]

Holy cow. Wake you up in the middle of the night and then you can't even have your breakfast.

[Station Attendant]

Well, I got all the information for you on that 8 o' clock train.

[Coffee Announcer]

Fine.

[Station Attendant]

There isn't any.

[Jim Anderson]

But there must be. She said to meet her at 8:00'.

[Station Attendant]

Clock. We got one at 7:45.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, that's close enough.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Which one is it?

[Station Attendant]

It don't run on Sunday.

[Jim Anderson]

I have a telegram right here in my pocket. I'll show it to you.

[Betty Anderson]

Were you calling me Daddy?

[Jim Anderson]

Where have you been?

[Betty Anderson]

I was looking at the comics.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, where are they?

[Betty Anderson]

On the magazine, Stan.

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, those comics. What happened to Betty and Bud?

[Betty Anderson]

I don't know. Did they get lost?

[Narrator/Announcer]

They're looking for you.

[Betty Anderson]

But I'm here.

[Jim Anderson]

See that? You stay here. Oh, I'm sorry. I guess we're a little confused this morning.

[Station Attendant]

You're a little confused? People come up and they don't know where they're going.

[Jim Anderson]

I'm sorry.

[Station Attendant]

8 o', clock, 7 o', clock, eastern, central. How am I supposed to figure it out?

[Betty Anderson]

Some of them don't even know where

[Station Attendant]

the people are coming from.

[Jim Anderson]

That's me.

[Station Attendant]

Oh, well, now what are we supposed to do?

[Jim Anderson]

Shall we dance,

[Betty Anderson]

Father?

[Narrator/Announcer]

All right.

[Jim Anderson]

Betty. I found her.

[Betty Anderson]

I wasn't lost. Oh, Father, the most horrible thing just happened.

[Jim Anderson]

You found Aunt Martha.

[Betty Anderson]

I gotta run in my stocking. I can't walk around here like this. Look at it, dad.

[Jim Anderson]

What is it, Bud?

[Bud Anderson]

There's a big cafeteria over at the other end and you can get all kinds of breakfast.

[Jim Anderson]

Later, Bud, later.

[Bud Anderson]

For only 85 cents you can get eggs and cereal and milk.

[Jim Anderson]

I said later.

[Bud Anderson]

And everything.

[Jim Anderson]

Look, miss, I want you to read the telegram for yourself. Arrive Sunday, be at depot with children at 8 o'. Clock. Now, what could be clearer than that?

[Station Attendant]

What depot?

[Jim Anderson]

This depot. How many depots are there in Springfield?

[Station Attendant]

Train depot, Freight depot? Bus depot?

[Jim Anderson]

Bus depot. Oh, no.

[Betty Anderson]

There's something wrong, Daddy.

[Jim Anderson]

She probably came in on a bus. Is there a bus from Bedford at 8:00'?

[Coffee Announcer]

Clock?

[Station Attendant]

Mister, I got enough trouble keeping track of the train.

[Jim Anderson]

Betty, what time is it?

[Station Attendant]

8:15.

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, the poor thing. She's probably sitting in the bus depot worrying about us. We better get right over there.

[Betty Anderson]

Oh, hey, wait a minute.

[Station Attendant]

There's a seven o' clock train from New Canaan. Maybe that's the one she meant.

[Jim Anderson]

She said eight o'.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Clock.

[Station Attendant]

It never gets in until eight.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, where is it?

[Station Attendant]

He won't be in until nine.

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, my aching back. Now what do we do?

[Betty Anderson]

Well, why don't we split up, Father? You go to the bus depot and we'll stay here.

[Jim Anderson]

All right.

[Bud Anderson]

Why don't I go home?

[Jim Anderson]

You're going to stay here and meet Aunt Martha. All of you.

[Bud Anderson]

But maybe she got tired of waiting and took a cab.

[Jim Anderson]

That's got nothing to do with it. I'm going to the bus depot and you're going to stay here.

[Betty Anderson]

Father, what if she did take a

[Jim Anderson]

cab with her own money? Don't be ridiculous, Daddy. And I don't want any trouble with you.

[Betty Anderson]

I didn't do anything. I was just thinking.

[Bud Anderson]

Me too.

[Betty Anderson]

Why don't you call Mommy and tell her what happened?

[Jim Anderson]

What?

[Betty Anderson]

And then if Aunt Martha calls, she can tell her not to worry.

[Jim Anderson]

Say, that's a very good idea. Thank you, Kathy.

[Betty Anderson]

You're welcome.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, we'll call your mother and get her straightened out. And then I'll take off at the bus depot.

[Betty Anderson]

The phone's right here, Daddy.

[Jim Anderson]

Thank you, Kathy. I don't know what I'd have done without you today.

[Station Attendant]

Father.

[Jim Anderson]

What is it, Betty?

[Betty Anderson]

Do we all have to stay here? I mean, couldn't you take Kathy with you?

[Jim Anderson]

I'll be glad to take her with me. She's a joy and a pleasure. Compared with some of my numbskull children.

[Bud Anderson]

What did we do?

[Station Attendant]

Hello?

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, Margaret, this is Jim.

[Margaret Anderson]

Oh, Jim, I've been trying to reach you all over town.

[Jim Anderson]

Honey, if Aunt Martha calls, tell her

[Narrator/Announcer]

I'm on my way over to the

[Jim Anderson]

bus depot and I'm leaving the kids at the station. Station? In case she's on the 7:00 clock train. Jim, no matter what she says, tell her she's not to worry.

[Betty Anderson]

Jim.

[Jim Anderson]

Margaret, I haven't got time to talk.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim, will you please listen to me?

[Jim Anderson]

Yes, dear. What is it?

[Margaret Anderson]

Right after you left, we got another telegram from Aunt Martha.

[Betty Anderson]

She isn't coming.

[Jim Anderson]

Oh, no.

[Coffee Announcer]

Every time you buy coffee, you certainly want to get the most for your money. The most in flavor, the most truly good cups of coffee from every pound. And you can get some real help finding that from the world's greatest coffee expert. Yes, ma'.

[Station Attendant]

Am.

[Coffee Announcer]

Just serve up a cup of Maxwell House to that husband of yours.

[Jim Anderson]

He's the number one expert.

[Coffee Announcer]

And when you hear him say that's the coffee for me, you'll know Maxwell House is the coffee for you too. Your coffee buy. Bring home a familiar blue Maxwell House tin tomorrow. See how much your coffee expert husband enjoys every cupful. And count how many truly good cups Cups of coffee you get in that one pound. We're mighty sure you'll find it's Maxwell House coffee that gives you the most for your money. Because it's always good to the last drop.

[Narrator/Announcer]

It's an ill wind that blows no good. And civilization goes forward on a succession of disasters such as those which come constantly befall the Andersons. Take. We'll take the sad events of the past weekend. They had their effect on the progress of man in a great many ways. For example, in the arts.

[Betty Anderson]

I'm a success, Mother. I'm a success. Oh, I'm the biggest thing in Springfield since Hattie Carlin.

[Margaret Anderson]

Betty, will you please stand still?

[Betty Anderson]

Do you know what happened in school today? Every girl on the campus was wearing eight shades of nail polish.

[Jim Anderson]

The sciences.

[Bud Anderson]

Did you know that the Rhus toxicodendron emits a glucoside that causes violent itching even after it's all dried up.

[Jim Anderson]

Rhus what?

[Bud Anderson]

Poison ivy.

[Jim Anderson]

What about it?

[Bud Anderson]

It was mixed up with the hay and everybody who went on the ride is sick in bed.

[Narrator/Announcer]

And general education.

[Betty Anderson]

I was the only one in the whole class who knew about daylight savings.

[Jim Anderson]

Well, that's fine, dear.

[Betty Anderson]

And next April, when the clocks go back.

[Jim Anderson]

Kathy, they don't go back in April. They go ahead.

[Betty Anderson]

Oh, I know. I mean, when they go back on daylight savings.

[Jim Anderson]

What about it?

[Betty Anderson]

Well, I'll just know why, that's all.

[Jim Anderson]

Good.

[Margaret Anderson]

Jim.

[Jim Anderson]

Yes, Margaret.

[Margaret Anderson]

I understand all about the clocks and why you turn them back. Yes, but I certainly think someone ought to tell the newspapers.

[Jim Anderson]

What?

[Margaret Anderson]

Well, they're the ones who get everybody confused. If they just said we lose an hour, then naturally we'd turn the clocks back.

[Jim Anderson]

But we don't lose an hour. We gain an hour.

[Margaret Anderson]

If you turn the clocks back, Margaret,

[Jim Anderson]

you get the hour over again. That's why they say you gain an hour. If it's 8 o' clock and you turn your watch back to 7 o', clock, then you've got 60 whole minutes to live over again. If you turn them ahead, you skip an hour and you lose it. That's why the newspapers say.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Life is swell when you keep well. And what better way to help keep well than with Post 40 Bran Flakes, America's favorite Bran Flakes. Post Bran Flakes provide brand to help prevent irregularity due to lack of bulk in the diet plus important vitamins and minerals. And you'll love the delicious flavor of Post Bran Flakes. Serve them for breakfast tomorrow. Remember, life is swell when you keep well. Try post 40 brand flakes. Join us again next week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best, starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson with Roy Bargy and the Maxwell House Orchestra and yours truly, Bill Foreman. So until next Thursday, good night and good luck from the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand of coffee, always good to the last drop. Father Knows Best was transcribed in Hollywood

[Jim Anderson]

and written by Ed James.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Now stay tuned in for Dragnet, which follows immediately over most of these stations. Yes, now it's dragnet. Listen Sunday for charlie wilde on NBC.

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