Lux Radio Theatre - Dulcy

Summary

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Podcast Summary

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Lux Radio Theatre – Dulcy
Date: June 20, 2026
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio

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Episode Overview

This episode is a presentation of the classic "Lux Radio Theatre" adaptation of Dulcy (originally by Kaufman and Connelly), starring George Burns and Gracie Allen. Set in the early 20th century, the play is a farcical comedy of manners, misunderstandings, and business machinations centered around Dulcie Smith's well-meaning but muddled attempts to help her husband secure a lucrative business merger. The episode features notable radio and Hollywood personalities such as Elliot Nugent, Howard Lindsay, Norma Lee, Wallace Clark, Elsa Maxwell, and Hedda Hopper, with Cecil B. DeMille as producer and host.

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Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Introduction & Setup (00:30 – 02:55)

• Host/Cecil B. DeMille introduces the key cast, giving background on George Burns and Gracie Allen, as well as the play’s pedigree and significance.
• DeMille highlights Gracie Allen’s comic persona:

  “With their own romance, George Burns and Gracie Allen changed the movie formula... to girl meets boy, girl gets boy, girl loses her mind.” (02:55)

2. Plot Launch – The Merger and the Guest List (05:21 – 17:00)

• Gordon Smith (George Burns) discusses pressing business matters regarding a jewelry merger with the tough Mr. Forbes.
• Dulcie (Gracie Allen) reveals she’s invited the Forbes family and others (including the wealthy and mysterious Skylar Van Dyke) as house guests to facilitate the merger and make matches between friends and family.
• Notable comic moments include Dulcie hiring a butler who is a "reformed convict" and her bundle of optimistic yet ill-conceived plans:

  “He hasn’t taken hardly a thing since he got out of prison.” (08:03, Dulcie)

3. Weekend Antics and Escalating Chaos (17:00 – 29:00)

• Misunderstandings multiply as guests arrive, with Dulcie pushing social and romantic agendas while Gordon struggles to keep control.
• Dulcie cheerfully regales the Forbes with her plans, misreading every situation and making matters worse for her husband’s business prospects.
• A comic highlight:

  “One thing Dulcy never learned is the difference between a surprise and a shock.” (09:29, Bill)

4. Business Schemes & Romantic Entanglements (24:00 – 36:00)

• Angela Forbes and Vincent Leach (the young couple) tell Dulcie they’re in love and wish to elope, with Dulcie swept up in the romance and promising to keep it secret—only to immediately blurt it out.
• The Forbes-Smith business deal teeters as Dulcie’s interference leads Mr. Forbes to almost withdraw, only to be “saved” by news of an even bigger potential alliance with Mr. Van Dyke’s “millions.”
• Dulcie’s misplaced confidence is on display:

  “Everything's gonna be wonderful. Oh, I can feel it in my bones.” (21:34, Dulcie)

5. Comic Climax – The Illusion Shattered (37:00 – 47:00)

• In a twist, Blair Patterson the lawyer arrives to reveal “Skylar Van Dyke” is actually Horace Patterson, his cousin, who merely believes he is a millionaire—a harmless but deluded man.
• The business merger collapses, and Gordon feels publicly humiliated and ruined.
• Sweet but poignant exchange:

  "Dulcie, you’re not a false note. You’re a melody, a whole tune." (46:48, Gordon)

6. Resolution & Happy Ending (48:00 – 53:34)

• The missing necklace is found, and it’s revealed that Bill (Dulcie’s brother) is in fact the man Angela married, not Leach as everyone thought.
• Mr. Forbes, chastened and impressed, offers Gordon a better deal, increasing the business share from 16⅔% to 25%.
• Dulcie’s classic malapropisms close this arc:

  “Once bitten twice caution... I mean, well, you get the idea, don’t you, darling?” (53:34, Dulcie)

7. Encore & Comic Banter (57:05 – 59:30)

• DeMille brings Burns and Allen back for a humorous “encore” with more of Gracie Allen’s trademark wordplay and comic confusion.
• Gracie Allen on Lux Flakes:

  “I certainly have something nice to say about Lux flakes. I think they're delicious.” (57:05)

• The “Play Rotten by Gracie Allen” in-joke leaves everyone chuckling.

8. Special Features (39:33 – 56:47)

• Interludes featuring:
  • Hedda Hopper's report on Hollywood Easter Parade & fashion (39:33–41:42)
  • Elsa Maxwell’s advice on being a hostess and throwing successful parties—emphasizing fun, surprise, and affordability (54:39–56:47)

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Notable Quotes

• “With their own romance, George Burns and Gracie Allen changed the movie formula of boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl to girl meets boy, girl gets boy, girl loses her mind.” – Cecil B. DeMille (02:55)
• “He hasn’t taken hardly a thing since he got out of prison.” – Dulcie (08:03)
• “One thing Dulcy never learned is the difference between a surprise and a shock.” – Bill (09:29)
• “Everything's gonna be wonderful. Oh, I can feel it in my bones.” – Dulcie (21:34)
• "Dulcie, you’re not a false note. You’re a melody, a whole tune." – Gordon (46:48)
• “I certainly have something nice to say about Lux flakes. I think they're delicious.” – Gracie Allen (57:05)
• “Once bitten twice caution... I mean, well, you get the idea, don’t you, darling?” – Dulcie (53:34)

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Key Timestamps

| Segment | Time | Notes | |----------------|------------|-------------------------------------| | Cast & Play Intro | 00:30-02:55 | DeMille sets the stage; cast list | | Play Begins | 05:21 | Car ride, Gordon laments his business | | Dulcie Hires Butler | 06:44-08:10 | Butler’s “reformed convict” status | | The Guest List Expands | 08:55-10:36 | Comedy of social ambitions | | Arrival of Guests | 13:57-15:39 | Social chaos as guests arrive | | Bridge Scandal | 19:03-21:02 | Dulcie’s business missteps | | Elope Reveal | 24:54-27:32 | Angela & Vincent’s plan | | The Van Dyke Twist | 37:03-38:30 | Van Dyke is revealed to be deluded | | Dulcie & Gordon’s Heart-to-heart | 46:17-47:19 | Marriage and self-awareness | | The Happy Ending | 48:01-53:34 | Everything resolved, better business | | Encore: Gracie’s Play| 57:05-59:28 | Postscript comic skit | | Hedda Hopper Segment | 39:33–41:42 | Hollywood society and fashion | | Elsa Maxwell Tips | 54:39–56:47 | Party-planning wisdom |

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Tone and Style

The episode radiates the sparkling, fast-talking humor of Burns and Allen and the dryly bemused style of DeMille. Dulcie’s naiveté and muddle-headed confidence anchor the farcical mood, while Gordon’s combination of frustration and affection provide the emotional core. Supporting segments (Hopper/Maxwell) add a dose of old Hollywood glamour and social insight.

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Summary for New Listeners

This episode immerses listeners in the world of classic American comedy with wordplay, character-driven misunderstandings, and heartfelt (if bumbling) efforts at marital and business harmony. For fans of vintage radio, it's both a showcase of 1930s star power and a delightful window into the social world and humor of the era. Even if you haven't heard "Dulcy" before, you'll enjoy the witty banter, zany plot turns, and showbiz guest cameos.

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Transcript

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

What's up everybody?

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[Gordon Smith]

Hollywood, California Monday, March 29.

[Narrator / Announcer]

The lux radio theater presents george burns and gracie allen in dulce, featuring elliot nugent, howard lindsay, norma lee and wallace clark. Ducks presents Hollywood. Our stars, George Burns and Gracie Allen. Elliot Nugent, Howard, Lindsay, Norma Lee and Wallace Clark. Our guests, Elsa Maxwell, entertainer of international society. And Hedda Hopper, famous actress and Hollywood personality. Our producer, Cecil B. DeMille. Our conductor, Lois Silvers. This program comes to you with the good wishes of the makers of Luxe Flakes, those gentle, marvelously effective soap flakes in whose behalf we welcome you all to Hollywood and to the 126th production of the Lux Radio Theatre. Our play tonight, Dulcie. Our stars, George Burns and Gracie Allen. Our sponsors, the makers of Lux Flakes. If you haven't tried the Lux way of cutting down stocking runs, the recent experience of Mrs. John Powers of Long island may persuade you to. Here is what Mrs. Powers said.

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

A group of us decided to make a simple test. See if we actually could cut down stocking runs by Lux washing. We each took a pair of stockings, washed one regularly with Luxe Flakes.

[Mrs. John Powers (continued)]

The other we rubbed with Cake Soap.

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

Then we kept careful records of runs. We found Lux cut down on runs. Amazingly, the average was 72%.

[Narrator / Announcer]

Lux flakes do cut down runs because they save the elasticity of silk. Why not try this easy luxe way of getting longer wear from your hosiery? Start using Lux Flakes tonight. And now, our producer. A man who for 25 years has been famous the world over for several of the greatest films in motion picture history. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Cecil B. DeMille.

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. With their own romance, George Burns and Gracie Allen changed the movie formula of boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl to girl meets boy, girl gets boy, girl loses her mind. Employed in a New Jersey office, Gracie's quota of silly answers was no higher than that of the average secretary. When George Burns came along and convinced her that they should go into vaudeville together four years later, George said, why don't we get married, Gracie, in characteristic Fashion replied, who'd have us? But in spite of that, George's civil question led to a civil ceremony. And now Gracie is not only Mrs. George Burns, she's the divine dunce of screen and radio and was recently voted one of the best dressed women in the world. Tonight's play, Dulcie, is remarkable not only for its comedy, but. But because it was the first conspicuous success of George S. Kaufman and Mark Connolly as writers and Lynn Fontaine as actress, as leading lady, Howard Lindsay as a director and Elliot Nugent as an actor. Today, Mr. Lindsay is one of Paramount's ablest writers, Mr. Nugent a noted Hollywood director. But both of them become actors again as they join Burns and Allen in tonight's performance with two other film personalities who were in the original cast, Norma Lee, now Mrs. Nugent and Wallace Clark. This evening, Gracie becomes Mrs. Dulcinea Smith, wife of that paragon of patients, Gordon Smith, played by George Burns. Mr. Nugent will be heard as William Parker, Mr. Clark as C. Roger Forbes, Norma Lee as Angela Forbes, and Mr. Lindsay as Vincent Leach. And now we loosen the straight jackets and. And let the players out of their padded cells as the Lux Radio Theater presents George Burns and Gracie Allen in Dulce featuring Elliot Nugent, Wallace Clark, Norma Lee and Howard Lindell. It's late afternoon of a midsummer day. On a road leading out of New York City. A small blue roadster weaves quickly through the heavy traffic. At the wheel is Gordon Smith, and beside him, his brother in law, Bill. They're bound for Gordon's house in Westchester. As they reach the open road, the car swerves sharply, avoiding an accident by inches.

[Gordon Smith]

Hey, take it easy, will you, Gordon?

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

Sorry.

[Gordon Smith]

I guess I'm in too much of a hurry.

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

I'll say you are. What's the big rush?

[Gordon Smith]

Oh, nothing. Just anxious to get home, that's all. I had a tough day at the office today.

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

You'll have a tougher one if you pile up in a ditch.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

That's better.

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

Well, how's the artificial jewelry business, if any?

[Gordon Smith]

Not so hot, Bill.

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

No. Anything new on the Forbes merger?

[Gordon Smith]

No, it's coming along. The deal goes through, I'll get 16 1/3% of the combine.

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

Oh, do you. Do you think that's enough, Gordon? Sixteen and two thirds?

[Gordon Smith]

No, it isn't. Well, I'm up against it and I've got to take what he gives me. Forbes is a tough customer.

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

That's hard luck.

[Gordon Smith]

Of course, I might be able to do something with him over the weekend. He's coming out to the House, too. You know, your sister invited them.

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

Yeah, so she told me. Well, Dulcie always did like guests.

[Gordon Smith]

Yeah, I know.

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

Forbes is bringing his wife and daughter, isn't he?

[Gordon Smith]

I guess so.

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

I didn't know you knew them that well.

[Gordon Smith]

Well, I don't accept Forbes in a business way. Wasn't my idea until the little woman thought of it. You know how your sister is.

[Butler Henry]

Oh, sure.

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

When Dulcie makes up your mind that she wants to do something, you do it.

[Gordon Smith]

That's one of the reasons why I want to get home. If they get there ahead of us and Dulcie gets talking to them, well, anything can happen. And it always happens to me.

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

And if I know Dulcie, it'll be plenty. Step on it, Gordon.

[Gordon Smith]

Go ahead in, Bill.

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

Yeah, thanks.

[Gordon Smith]

Gee, it's good to get home. I guess they aren't here yet.

[Butler Henry]

I beg pardon, sir.

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

Huh?

[Mr. Forbes]

Who are you?

[Butler Henry]

I'm the butler, sir.

[Gordon Smith]

The butler? I must be in the wrong house.

[Butler Henry]

Oh, no, sir. Mrs. Smith engaged me this afternoon, sir.

[Gordon Smith]

Oh, well, I'm Mr. Smith.

[Butler Henry]

Yes, sir. Mrs. Smith described you in some detail, sir. May I take your hat, sir?

[Gordon Smith]

Yes, sir.

[Butler Henry]

Yes. Thank you, sir. Very good, sir.

[Gordon Smith]

Can you imagine that? I turn my back and she hires a butler.

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

I guess she had to make an impression on the Forbes.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Oh, hello, Gordon.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Imagine me, you here. It certainly is a small house.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

We.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Who's that with you?

[Gordon Smith]

Your brother.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, sure. Hello, Willie. Hello, Darcy. Oh, Gordon, darling. How are you feeling? You are, huh? My, isn't it hot. It certainly is. But you haven't I saved the altar.

[Gordon Smith]

Well, not so bad.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Nice and cool in here, though. Maybe that's an account of the cold air.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

But I always say it's still breeze.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

It doesn't blow in this room. Ring for Henry, will you, darling? I want him to put these flowers and water.

[Gordon Smith]

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Who is this fella? Henry.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Why, Henry.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Why, darling, didn't you meet him?

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

He's the butler.

[Gordon Smith]

I know, I know. He introduced himself at the door. But who is he? Where did you get him?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, if you promise not to tell, he's a reformed convict.

[Gordon Smith]

What? A reformed convict?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Not so loud. He's very sensitive.

[Gordon Smith]

Yeah, well, so am I. And I don't like the idea of having a second story man polishing off the silverware.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, he wouldn't steal anything, Gordon. He's going straight now. He hasn't taken hardly a thing since he got out of prison.

[Gordon Smith]

When was that?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Last week.

[Gordon Smith]

I say.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, anyway, we've got to have a butler Darling.

[Gordon Smith]

What, Dulcie?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

We're having guests, Willie. Very important guests for the weekend. Guess who's coming?

[Gordon Smith]

The Forbes.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Who told you?

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

Your dad?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

All your guests?

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Yes.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

There'll be Mr. And Mrs. Forbes and his wife and Angela. Angela's their daughter, you know.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

And sweet.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Why, she's just the sweetest thing.

[Butler Henry]

Yes.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Oh, really?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

What do you mean? You don't know her?

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

Of course I do. I've known her for years.

[Gordon Smith]

What's funny about that, Dulcie?

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Well, he didn't know.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

I never knew he knew. Isn't that funny? Or is it?

[Gordon Smith]

Yes, dear, it is.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, now, let me see. The pink room for Angela. And the red room for Mr. And Mrs. Forbes. I better have the green room made up for Skylar Van Dyke.

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

Skylar Van Dyke?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Yeah, one of the Van Dykes. And he's worth millions.

[Gordon Smith]

Skylar Van Dyke is coming here?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Isn't that wonderful? Oh, he's a marvelous man. You'd never think he was a Van Dyke. He's so democratic.

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

When did you meet him?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, this afternoon. He was at Mrs. Kennedy's. He had a lot of other invitations, but he accepted mine.

[Gordon Smith]

But, Delsey, having this man here with Forbes. How do you know they like each other?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, they will.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

They?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Mr. Van Dyke's a businessman too, darling. He owns all kinds of things. Railroads. Railroads, I think. Well, anyhow, it's something like railroads. He'll help entertain Mr. Forbes.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Isn't that a pleasant surprise?

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

You know, Gordon, one thing Delsey never learned is the difference between a surprise and a shock.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, Willie, you're saying silly things to try to mix me up.

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

Okay. I think I'll go upstairs and wash a little.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Yeah, that's right, dear. I want you to look nice and clean for our guests.

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

See you later.

[Gordon Smith]

Bringing in a Mr. Van Dyke to entertain Mr. Forbes. Dulcie, Forbes isn't the kind of a man who wants to be entertained.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

All right, dear. Then Van dyke can entertain Mr. Leech.

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

Well, that's better.

[Gordon Smith]

Mr. Leech. Who is Mr. Leech?

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Vincent Leach.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

You know, the big moving picture rider.

[Gordon Smith]

Oh, yes. Is he coming here?

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Yes. Isn't that wonderful?

[Gordon Smith]

I'm not so sure. First you invite Mr. Van Dyke. Next you invite Vincent Leach.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Ah, there's the secret.

[Gordon Smith]

Look, Dulcie, let's not make a game of this. I don't.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, well, you see, dear, Vincent and Angela like each other.

[Gordon Smith]

Vincent and Angela?

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

Yes.

[Gordon Smith]

You mean Forbes daughters?

[Angela Forbes]

Yes.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Isn't it wonderful?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

So I invited them both here so they'll have the whole weekend together.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

You never can tell what'll happen.

[Gordon Smith]

That's what I'm afraid of. Dulcie, you don't know Angela so well. And this man Leech, what do you know about him?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

I know all about him. He's a big scenario rider and just the man for Angie. He.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

He's so practical.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

And she's single. Opposite should marry. You know that, darling.

[Gordon Smith]

Yes, I know that. But why are you so anxious to match this fellow Leech with Angela? What do you care about her?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Don't you see?

[Gordon Smith]

Yes, I see.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Can't you guess?

[Gordon Smith]

Yes, I can guess.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

All right. Then I'll tell you.

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

Good.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

If Angie likes Mr. Leech and marries him and I fixed it, well. Well, that'll make Mr. Forbes so grateful that he'll have to give you more than 16 and 2/3 of the proceeds.

[Gordon Smith]

I wish you'd stay out of my business.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Well, sure.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

That's what a wife's for. Now, I figured it all out by myself.

[Gordon Smith]

But, Dulcie.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, Gordon, darling, don't be upset about it. I know they ought to marry. I just know it. It's a woman's intuition. Just as I knew I ought to marry you, dear. It was because I loved you, darling, and wanted to help you and.

[Gordon Smith]

Yes, yes, yes, and you do help me. But you don't understand, dear. Try and see my position.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, all I can see is that Mr. Forbes is taking advantage of you, and I'm not gonna let him, that's all.

[Gordon Smith]

But that isn't the point. In the position that I'm in, I have to go ahead with it. Don't you see, dear? If I'm not in that merger, I'll lose everything.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, only 16 and 2 3%. It's such a funny number, too. I don't see why you couldn't get a nice even number like 25 or 50.

[Gordon Smith]

Dulcie, Dulcie, Dulcie. Dulcie, you've got to listen to me. Let me talk to Forbes about a higher percentage. Maybe he'll acquiesce.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Well, he might try to, but he

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

won't get away with it.

[Butler Henry]

Good afternoon.

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

Good afternoon.

[Mr. Forbes]

Forbes is my name.

[Butler Henry]

Yes, sir. Just step right in, please.

[Mr. Forbes]

Come on. Eleanor.

[Eleanor Forbes]

Yes, dear? Angela, this way, please. My, what a lovely room. Isn't it, Angela?

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

Yes, the whole place is lovely.

[Mr. Forbes]

Nobody here. Looks like we came too early.

[Butler Henry]

Oh, no, sir. Mrs. Smith asked me to say that she'd be down directly.

[Mr. Forbes]

All right, all right.

[Butler Henry]

Not at all, sir. Excuse me, please.

[Mr. Forbes]

Well, nice reception.

[Eleanor Forbes]

Now, please, Charlie.

[Mr. Forbes]

What do you mean?

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

Oh, don't be a bear, Father. Try to be pleasant for once.

[Mr. Forbes]

Well, why should I? I didn't want to come down here in the first place. I could have done my business with Gordon Smith in New York.

[Eleanor Forbes]

I know, dear, but a nice weekend down here in the country will be Ken.

[Mr. Forbes]

What do I care about a weekend? I'm a businessman, not a playboy. You know how I despise golf and tennis and all that. Truck.

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

Well, we are here now, Father, and you might as well make the best of it. I didn't care so much about coming myself, if you want to know.

[Mr. Forbes]

Oh, you didn't?

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

No, not particularly. I'd rather have stayed in town.

[Mr. Forbes]

Oh, where you can see that half baked moving picture writer, I suppose.

[Mrs. John Powers (continued)]

My father.

[Mr. Forbes]

Oh, I know all about it. You've been seeing him almost every day. And I don't like it. Do you hear? I don't like it at all.

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

Why not? Mr. Leech is a very nice young man.

[Mr. Forbes]

Mr. Leech is a young fool.

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

How can you say that? You've never even met him.

[Mr. Forbes]

No, but I've heard about him. That was enough for me.

[Eleanor Forbes]

Charlie, please don't excite yourself. You know it's bad for you.

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

Come over here and. And sit down.

[Mr. Forbes]

Now, sit down right here. I hate those soft chairs. They're bad for my back.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Well, look who's here. Mr. And Mrs. Forbes.

[Eleanor Forbes]

Good afternoon.

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

Good afternoon.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, Mrs. Forbes, I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Oh, it's quite all right.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

And Mr. Forbes. Well, how are you?

[Mr. Forbes]

Oh, all right, I guess.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

And Angela, how are you?

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

Mrs. Smith?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, now, where is Gordon?

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Gordon?

[Gordon Smith]

Yes, Dulcie.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, there you are.

[Gordon Smith]

Hello, Mr. Foggs.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Did you have a nice drive out from the city, Mr. Foggs? Awfully pretty, isn't it?

[Mr. Forbes]

Yes, I guess so.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Did you all come out together or did you drive?

[Bluff (Spinquest Advertiser)]

Why?

[Mr. Forbes]

Oh, I. I don't know. We came through Hops.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, that's the shortest way. Now, you should have come. That's quicker.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

No, no, I think that is the

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

long way, isn't it, Hartsdale?

[Eleanor Forbes]

Yes.

[Gordon Smith]

Well, it really doesn't matter.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

No, no. Both ways are awfully pretty. Sit down, Mr. Forbes.

[Mr. Forbes]

Thank you.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

No, no, no.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Not in that chair. That's the hard chair.

[Mr. Forbes]

Yeah, but I prefer a hard chair.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, now, now, don't fib, Mr. Forbes. You sit right down in this nice soft chair.

[Mr. Forbes]

Now, please.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Now, there now, please.

[Eleanor Forbes]

Why, Mr. Forbes, it's his back. He's been having a little trouble with it lately.

[Gordon Smith]

Are you all right, Mr. Forbes?

[Mr. Forbes]

I hope so.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, of course he's all right. Nice and comfy. Oh, Angela, have I a surprise to you, or will you be surprised?

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

What, Mrs. Smith?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, you'll see, dear.

[Gordon Smith]

Dulcie.

[Narrator / Announcer]

Dulcie, please.

[Gordon Smith]

Well, Mr. Forbes, I'm glad you could get down early. I'd like to talk over something with you.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, now, now, Gordon. No business, please.

[Gordon Smith]

But, dulcie, that's what Mr. Forbes came down.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

No, no, dear. This is the time for Play. You know, Mr. Forbes, the one thing poor Gordon has never learned is how to play. He takes everything so seriously. Now, what I like to do is

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

just cut loose once in a while.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Just see children again. And I've got the most wonderful day planned for you, Mr. Forbes. We're gonna play and play and play.

[Spinquest Announcer]

Me?

[Mr. Forbes]

Well, thank you very much, but you know, I.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

But you play golf, don't you?

[Mr. Forbes]

Well, to tell you the truth.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Oh, that's good.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

And you love our course.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

It's wonderful.

[Mr. Forbes]

Yes, yes, but I've been having a great deal of trouble with my back lately.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, the pro at Oxford Club will fix that up. What you need is exercise.

[Gordon Smith]

Exercise?

[Eleanor Forbes]

Yeah.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

You and I'll go out and play 18 holes of golf the first thing in the morning.

[Mr. Forbes]

But, my dear Mrs. Smith.

[Butler Henry]

Excuse me. Mrs. Smith.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Yes, Henry.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Yes, Henry, what is it?

[Butler Henry]

Another guest is here, madam. A Miss.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Wait, wait, wait.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Don't tell us his name. Just show him in, Henry.

[Mr. Forbes]

Very good, madam.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Oh, Angela.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Yes? This is the surprise I was telling you about, Angela.

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

Oh, who is it?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, you'll see in a moment, darling.

[Butler Henry]

In here, sir. Sir, Please.

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

Thank you.

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

Oh, good heaven.

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

Mrs. Smith.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, how do you do?

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Mr. Vincent

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Leech, the great moving pictures writer.

[Gordon Smith]

What?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Yes.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Mr. Forbes, Mr. Vincent Leach.

[Skylar Van Dyke / Horace Patterson]

How do you do?

[Mr. Forbes]

Mr. Forbes. How do you do?

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

And this is Mrs. Forbes. How do you do'? And Mr. Smith, my husband.

[Mr. Forbes]

How do you do?

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

You do.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, and of course, you know Angela.

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

Angela.

[Narrator / Announcer]

This is a surprise.

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

Yes, isn't it? Mr. Leeds, I didn't know you were going to be here.

[Mr. Forbes]

Neither did I.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

What's that, Mr. Fobb?

[Mr. Forbes]

Nothing, Mr. Smith. Nothing at all.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

I thought you said something. Mr. Leech. We're all so glad you could come.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

He's been so busy, Mr. Forbes, working

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

on his new picture. Tell him about it, Mr. Leech.

[Narrator / Announcer]

Well, I'm afraid I can't just now.

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

It's a little long.

[Narrator / Announcer]

Perhaps after dinner?

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Oh, yes, of course.

[Narrator / Announcer]

Well, I may say without exaggeration, that

[Gordon Smith]

it will probably be the most magnificent

[Narrator / Announcer]

picture of its type ever produced.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, how wonderful.

[Narrator / Announcer]

Yes, even better than my last picture.

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

The sacred love. I suppose everyone here saw the sacred love.

[Butler Henry]

Mrs. Smith.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Yes, what is it?

[Butler Henry]

Mr. Skyler Van Dyke.

[Mr. Forbes]

Mr. Van DJK.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

No, no, no, no, Mr. Forbes. This is just our butler. Here comes Mr. Van Dyke.

[Skylar Van Dyke / Horace Patterson]

How do you do, Mr. Smith?

[Mr. Forbes]

I'm sorry to be late all.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Don't mention Mr. Van Dyke.

[Skylar Van Dyke / Horace Patterson]

I had to make several important long distance calls.

[Mr. Forbes]

Business, you know.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Of course, you captains of industry. Oh, Mr. Forbes, this is Mr. Van Dyke. The Mr. Van Dyke.

[Mr. Forbes]

Well, how do you do? How do you do?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

I brought him here especially for you, Mr. Fogg.

[Gordon Smith]

Dulcie. Dulcie.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Gordon, I told you it isn't polite to whisper in front of company.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Well, now our weekend has started.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Gordon, will you introduce me, Mr. Van Dyke, to everyone? And everyone to Mr. Van Dyke. We're all too good friends to be strangers, you know.

[Gordon Smith]

Well, this is Mrs. Falls.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Yes, Mr. Falls.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Wife, you know.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

And Mrs. Angela Falls, Mr. Faulb's daughter. And this is Mr. Leach, Mr. F. Son in law.

[Butler Henry]

Dinner is served, Mrs. Smith, dear.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, one can't do everything at once, can one?

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Well, come along everyone. Dinner.

[Gordon Smith]

Dulcie, Dulcie, what are you laughing at?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, I just want to put everybody

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

in a good mood.

[Eleanor Forbes]

Charlie, let's go back to the others.

[Mr. Forbes]

I tell you, I'll do nothing of the sort. This place is going to drive me crazy.

[Eleanor Forbes]

Now, Charlie, please don't excite yourself. You know how bad it is for you after eating.

[Mr. Forbes]

Did you hear what that woman said? I've got to get up tomorrow morning and play golf.

[Eleanor Forbes]

Golf?

[Mr. Forbes]

If there's one thing I hate more than anything in this world, it's golf. Unless it's bridge.

[Gordon Smith]

Oh, Charlie, if I could think of

[Mr. Forbes]

a good excuse, I go back to town tonight and take Angela and you with me.

[Eleanor Forbes]

But Charlie, you can't do that.

[Mr. Forbes]

Don't you suppose I see that woman's plan to throw Angela and that that pool leech together?

[Eleanor Forbes]

But I tell you, he's a most charming man.

[Mr. Forbes]

And I tell you, Mrs. Smith, if it weren't for Smith and our business relations, I would go back to town tonight.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Oh, here I am.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

I've been looking all over for you, Mr. Forbes. You know what we're going to do? We've got to play bridge.

[Mr. Forbes]

What? Mrs. Smith, I don't think I care to play bridge this evening.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, now, now, you businessmen must have some relaxation. You remind me so of Gordon, the poor darling. He does nothing but work. I don't suppose he's told you, Mr.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Forbes, but he's really got a lot

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

of things on hand.

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

Why?

[Mr. Forbes]

What do you mean?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, you might just as well know. It isn't only the pearl business. He has lots of other interests, too.

[Mr. Forbes]

What's that?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

It's really asking too much to make him give up all these other things to come into the jewelry merger. That is, unless it were made worth his while. Of course, if he only got 16⅔ percent, he couldn't afford to give up all his time to it. Oh, no, he'd have to look after his other interests too. And you'd be the loser.

[Butler Henry]

Oh, I see.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, I thought you would.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Are you coming, Mrs. Oh, yes, Mrs. Smith. Well, hurry, dear. Then we're going to start the game.

[Gordon Smith]

Oh, hello, Mr. Forbes.

[Eleanor Forbes]

All alone?

[Mr. Forbes]

Yes, Mr. Smith. I'd like to have a word with you.

[Gordon Smith]

Of course.

[Mr. Forbes]

Smith.

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

Yes.

[Mr. Forbes]

Your wife has just been telling me something of your other business activities.

[Gordon Smith]

Other business activities?

[Mr. Forbes]

Yeah, and it came as something of a revelation to me.

[Gordon Smith]

I don't understand.

[Mr. Forbes]

Well, as you may have been aware, my agreement to admit you on a 16 1/2% basis was founded on the expectation that you would give all your time to the new enterprise.

[Gordon Smith]

Yes, of course, Mr. Forbes.

[Mr. Forbes]

Well, in the circumstances, your business and your services would hardly be worth that amount to me. No, I think we shall have to lower your percentage.

[Gordon Smith]

But, Mr. Forbes, you. You. You don't understand.

[Mr. Forbes]

I think I do. And now, if you'll excuse me, I'll go and play breach.

[Gordon Smith]

Oh, I'm sunk. I'm sunk. Dulcie. Dulcie, where are you?

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Yes, Garden Dares.

[Gordon Smith]

Well, come here quick.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, Gordon, I've got news for you.

[Gordon Smith]

Wait a minute. Wait a minute, Dulcie.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Can't wait, dear, I must tell you.

[Butler Henry]

Dulcie, please.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Mrs. Forbes just told me that Mr. Forbes never plays bridge.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Well, what of it?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

What of it?

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

What of it?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Why, Gordon, dear, don't you see? He's out there now ready to play.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

That means he likes this. He likes his garden.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Everything's gonna be wonderful.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Oh, I can feel it in my bones.

[Butler Henry]

Oh,

[Narrator / Announcer]

In a moment we'll go on with Dulcie. But now let's listen in on a typical lux home. Young Mr. And Mrs. Johnson, who have been married just a month, are giving a party in their new home.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Good night, my love. Remember that you're mine, sweetheart.

[Mr. Forbes]

Swell, Betty.

[Gordon Smith]

Let's have some of the old time

[Narrator / Announcer]

favorites in this book.

[Mrs. John Powers (continued)]

Yeah.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

If you don't mind, I'd rather not play anymore.

[Gordon Smith]

Oh, please, honey. Oh, what's the matter, Betty?

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

I can't imagine.

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

Let me Go see what the trouble is.

[Narrator / Announcer]

So Betty's friend Ruth, who is a newlywed herself, goes into the bedroom. She finds Betty crying, sits down beside her and tries to comfort her.

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

What's wrong, Betty? Tell me.

[Eleanor Forbes]

Oh, it's nothing, Ruth. Only. Only while I was playing the piano, you all seemed to be staring at my horrid old dishpan hands. I hate looking like such a drudge.

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

You poor little kid. Don't you know your hands needn't look that way? Six months of dishwashing hasn't hurt my hands a bit.

[Eleanor Forbes]

How do you do it?

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

The easiest way in the world. I use Luxe Flakes in the dish pan. They're so gentle. It's a regular beauty treatment every time I wash the dishes. Just try, Lux, Betty. Your hands will be white and smooth again in no time.

[Narrator / Announcer]

Remember, pure, gentle luxe flakes haven't any harmful alkali. They won't dry up the precious oils of the skin. And Lux is inexpensive too. Luxe Flakes for all your dishes cost less than one cent a day. Mr. DeMille continues on with our story

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

Dulce starring George Burns and Gracie Allen.

[Bluff (Spinquest Advertiser)]

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[Spinquest Announcer]

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[Mistplay Announcer]

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[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

After carefully patching up the damage done by Dulcie, Gordon was able to convince Mr. Forbes that his percentage of the merger should not be lowered. But there's more trouble brewing. It's a few hours later and Dulcie is alone in the living room. The door opens and Vincent Leach and Angela enter excitedly.

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

Oh, Mrs. Smith, we've got to speak to you.

[Narrator / Announcer]

Yes, we want you to help us.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Why Mr. Leech. Angela, is there anything wrong Mrs. Smith,

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

Vincent and I are. Are in love.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

In love?

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

In love. Oh, Angela. Angela. Miss.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, if this isn't the most wonderful thing I've ever heard. Why, it's.

[Eleanor Forbes]

It's.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

It's wonderful.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

That's all I can say. Oh, I'm so happy I could cry. Good news affects me that way.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Oh, Vincent.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

I may call you Vincent now, mayn't I?

[Mr. Forbes]

Of course.

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

Mrs. Smith, we're going to need your help.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, yes, darling, of course.

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

Now, it's a secret, and you must promise that you won't tell anyone.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, I know I wouldn't tell a secret.

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

Well, we're going to elope.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Elope? Tonight.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Tonight? You mean run away and get married?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Why?

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Well, that's wonderful. Oh, that's just marvelous.

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

Oh, now, remember, you're not to tell us.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, no, I wouldn't tell anybody.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

No.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

How soon are you going?

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

Oh, just as soon as we can. Aren't we, Vincent?

[Gordon Smith]

Yes, if we can get away.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Of course.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Of course. Oh, I'm so excited, I don't know

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

what to do next. Oh, Willie, Vincent and Angela are going to elope.

[Eleanor Forbes]

Mrs. Smith, you promised you wouldn't tell.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, but I won't. And Willie won't tell anybody either. Will you, Willie?

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

You're going to elope, Angela? With Mr. Leech?

[Eleanor Forbes]

Yes.

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

No, I won't tell us all.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, there you are, Angela.

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

Thank you, Bill.

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

Yeah. Where are you going to elope to?

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

Why, where were we, Vincent?

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

Well, I hadn't thought about it just yet.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Well, there are lots of places.

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

Oh, sure. How about a marriage license?

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

Why, I don't know, Vincent.

[Gordon Smith]

Well, I thought we might find one someplace.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Willie. Willie, you could help them some way, couldn't you? You know where to get a license and everything.

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

Why, yes.

[Gordon Smith]

As a matter of fact, I'll be

[Narrator / Announcer]

glad to drive them there.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, now, you see, that's just why I told them. Oh, everything is just working out beautifully. And I'll tell you what we'll do. We'll. We'll. What do we suggest, Willie?

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

Is everything ready?

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

Oh, we just have to get our bags.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

They just have to get their bags, Vincent. Now, you go find Mrs. Forbes and tell her. And then we'll all meet in the garage. And I'll go up and get Angela's things for her.

[Eleanor Forbes]

Wait a minute.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Oh, hurry, Vincent. Let's see.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

The more haste or something, you know.

[Butler Henry]

All right.

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

I'll see you in the garage in about three minutes.

[Narrator / Announcer]

Don't keep me waiting.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, we won't. Well, now, Rasta, I'll Go up and get the thing.

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

Oh, I'll go with you.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Oh, no, no.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

I'll bring everything out to the garage. If anybody sees me, they won't suspect. Oh, you know, I'm so excited.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

It's just.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, it's just like times of old

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

when nights were bold.

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

Well, are you all ready for the elopement? Angela?

[Eleanor Forbes]

Bill Parker.

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

I think. I think you're just horrid speaking to me. You know very well I am.

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

Oh, you don't mean it. I'm really being very good to you, helping you out in this way.

[Eleanor Forbes]

Well.

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

Well, you don't have to be so happy about it. After all, we. We are old friends.

[Mr. Forbes]

Yeah.

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

That's why I'm glad. You. You're glad, aren't you?

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

That has nothing to do with it.

[Eleanor Forbes]

Of course I am.

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

Oh, you're just impossible.

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

Angela. You told me once that. That I'd never change. Well, you were right. I never have changed. Especially about you.

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

I don't care whether you have or not. I think you're positively hopeless.

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

I guess I am. Well, let's get going, shall we?

[Mr. Forbes]

Eleanor? Eleanor.

[Eleanor Forbes]

Here I am, dear, in the garden.

[Mr. Forbes]

What are you doing out here?

[Eleanor Forbes]

Watching the stars. It's a beautiful night, isn't it, Charlie? So calm and peaceful.

[Mr. Forbes]

Peaceful? You know, that woman is enough to drive a man crazy. Say, is that our car?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Where, dear?

[Mr. Forbes]

Well, going out the drive. See it?

[Eleanor Forbes]

Oh, it couldn't be ours, darling.

[Butler Henry]

No.

[Mr. Forbes]

Where's Angela?

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

I don't know.

[Eleanor Forbes]

I haven't seen her since dinner.

[Mr. Forbes]

Out gallivanting with that, I suppose.

[Eleanor Forbes]

Do you mean Mr. Leech?

[Mr. Forbes]

Yes, I mean Mr. Leech. And I want to tell you something. If I find this Leech person actually making love to Angela, I'm going to raise blazers. Now, Charlie, I've had nothing but a series of aggravations and annoyances ever since I came into this house. Eleanor, I can truthfully say that in all my 53 years, I have never spent an unhappier evening.

[Eleanor Forbes]

Oh, Charlie.

[Mr. Forbes]

Yeah, but I'm not going to spend another. I'm not going to stay here and play golf and breach.

[Eleanor Forbes]

Well, what are you going to do?

[Mr. Forbes]

I'm going home, Charlie. I'm going upstairs and pack right now.

[Eleanor Forbes]

Charlie.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Oh, Mr. Forbes.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Here you are.

[Mr. Forbes]

I won't be for long.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

What did you say?

[Mr. Forbes]

I said I'm going to my room.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, that's right. Get a good night's rest so you'll be nice and fresh for tomorrow.

[Mr. Forbes]

Mrs. Smith, I am not going to play golf tomorrow.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Oh, no, none of Us are.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

We've changed our plans, Mr. Mr. Forbes. We're going horseback riding.

[Mr. Forbes]

Horseback?

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Yes, yes, isn't that wonderful Idea?

[Mr. Forbes]

Good night, Mrs. Smith.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, I knew he'd like it.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Oh, Mrs. Forbes.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Mrs. Forbes, have you heard the news? Oh, but you couldn't have, could you? It only just happened.

[Eleanor Forbes]

Well, what has just happened?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Vincent and Angela, they've eloped.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

What?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Yes, just a minute ago they took your car.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Eloped? Oh, isn't it wonderful?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

I knew you'd be thrilled. And it's all my doing, every bit of it. And what makes it more exciting, it's a secret too.

[Eleanor Forbes]

Mrs. Smith, do you know what you've done?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, that's all right. You can thank me later.

[Eleanor Forbes]

He'll never forgive you.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Never.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Who?

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Vincent?

[Eleanor Forbes]

No, my husband.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

But he didn't elope with your husband.

[Eleanor Forbes]

Try to understand, Mrs. Smith. My husband hates Mr. Leeches.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, this is a fine time to say a thing like that. How was I supposed to know? He never said anything.

[Eleanor Forbes]

This is the finish, Mrs. Smith. We're leaving here just as soon as our car is returned.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

No, but you can't, you mustn't.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Mr. Smith hasn't settled anything about the merger yet.

[Eleanor Forbes]

No, and I'm afraid he never will.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Good night, Mr. Smith.

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[Tammy (Geico Ad)]

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[Dan (Geico Ad)]

Exactly, Tammy. It could be smoke damage, theft or just too much caffeine, but you can't stop thinking about it.

[Tammy (Geico Ad)]

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[Dan (Geico Ad)]

And that's great. Cause the weekend is coming up and it's chock full of social obligations that are ready to fill that void.

[Tammy (Geico Ad)]

Oh boy, will they.

[Angela Forbes]

Dad.

[Tammy (Geico Ad)]

It feels good to worry less. It feels good to Geico.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Yes, Sister Van Dyke.

[Skylar Van Dyke / Horace Patterson]

You mustn't cry like that, Mrs. Smith.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, I can't help it.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

You don't know what's happened.

[Skylar Van Dyke / Horace Patterson]

Yes I do. I just heard Mr. Forbes storming about it upstairs.

[Mr. Forbes]

You couldn't help but hear him.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, Mr. Van Dyke, isn't it awful?

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Isn't it terrible?

[Skylar Van Dyke / Horace Patterson]

Nothing is so terrible that it can't be mended.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

But the merger it made. I don't know what Gordon will do.

[Skylar Van Dyke / Horace Patterson]

Mrs. Smith, I like your husband very much.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, do you?

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

Tell me, would he be willing to

[Skylar Van Dyke / Horace Patterson]

get up his own merger? One bigger than Mr. Forbes ever dreamt of?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Why, I never thought of that. But Mr. Forbes has all the money, and Gordy hasn't any.

[Narrator / Announcer]

That's it exactly.

[Skylar Van Dyke / Horace Patterson]

Now, I've always wanted to take a little flyer in the jewelry business. Suppose I financed Mr. Smith. Suppose he and I set out to

[Gordon Smith]

beat Mr. Forbes together.

[Skylar Van Dyke / Horace Patterson]

How would that be, B.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

B? Why, it would be the biggest thing that ever happened in this house. Do you really mean it?

[Skylar Van Dyke / Horace Patterson]

I certainly do. I'll put up my check the moment your husband says the word.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, Mr. Van Dyke, you.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

You've made me the happiest woman in all the world.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, you'll let me break the news to him, won't you?

[Skylar Van Dyke / Horace Patterson]

Why. Why, of course, if you wish.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, and to think I introduced you to him. Oh, now what will he think of me?

[Gordon Smith]

Wait a minute. Say that again, Mr. Van Dyke.

[Mr. Forbes]

Of course.

[Skylar Van Dyke / Horace Patterson]

I said that your wife has interested me very much in this proposition. And I've told her that I'm willing to finance a combination to beat Forbes and his crowd with you at the head of it.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, he's just waiting for you. You to say the word. Darling, I.

[Gordon Smith]

Why, I. I can't believe it.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

But it's true. It is, dear.

[Gordon Smith]

Why, it's. It's. It's too good to be true. I could get rid of Forbes and put my business in for what it's worth.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Oh, yeah.

[Gordon Smith]

Oh, God, I really could do big things. I'll be back financially by the Van dyke interest.

[Mr. Forbes]

Exactly.

[Skylar Van Dyke / Horace Patterson]

Mr. Smith.

[Mr. Forbes]

Excuse me.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, come in.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Forbes.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

We were just talking about you.

[Skylar Van Dyke / Horace Patterson]

Mr. Forbes, I'm compelled to make a little announcement.

[Mr. Forbes]

I merely wish to tell you, on top of everything else that my wife's diamond necklace has disappeared.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Disappeared?

[Mr. Forbes]

In view of the fact that it took place in this house, I thought you might have a sentimental interest.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Don't you dare accuse Henry of stealing anything.

[Gordon Smith]

Dulcie.

[Mr. Forbes]

Henry? Who's Henry?

[Gordon Smith]

Dulcie, quiet.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

No, Gordon, I'm not going to stand here and listen to him make insinuating remarks about my servants. Henry is perfectly honest. His honesty has been proven. He's been paroled seven times.

[Gordon Smith]

Oh,

[Mr. Forbes]

well, that's very interesting. Where is this man?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Why, he's not here. He asked me if I'd let him take the evening off and I said yes.

[Mr. Forbes]

Thank you, Mrs. Smith, you've been a great help.

[Gordon Smith]

Mr. Forbes, please. We'll get the necklace back and if we don't, I'll make good for it. Now let's sit down and talk it over.

[Mr. Forbes]

There's nothing to talk over. And in the circumstances I don't see how we can possibly go into business again. I don't like your methods. The merger is definitely off.

[Gordon Smith]

But Mr. Forbes.

[Mr. Forbes]

I'm sorry, but that's my decision.

[Gordon Smith]

Wait, Mr. Forbes. Before you phrase me out, I want to tell you that Mr. Van Dyke here has agreed to back me in an independent merger. A bigger one than yours. What?

[Skylar Van Dyke / Horace Patterson]

Yes, Mr. Forbes, I have.

[Gordon Smith]

But I am now. Am I still out?

[Mr. Forbes]

Yes, Mr. Smith, you are.

[Gordon Smith]

Very well then. I'm going to line up with Mr. Van Dyke and fight you. Fight you till one of us is forced to the wall. I'll teach you to take advantage of me.

[Mr. Forbes]

Advantage? Who took advantage of you?

[Gordon Smith]

You did. By offering me less than you know my business was worth. Why, you knew I was in a hole. And now you're gonna get just what you deserve. You're going to get a first rate licking.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Oh, Gordy.

[Mr. Forbes]

All right, make your fine speeches. But when you talk about fighting, don't forget that I can fight too. And before you win, you're going to know that you're being in a real fight. Remember that.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

You know, I think he's Madgardy.

[Skylar Van Dyke / Horace Patterson]

Mr. Smith, allow me to congratulate you. You told him what was bought straight from the shoulder.

[Gordon Smith]

Thank you, Mr. Van Dyke. And I'm sure we'll get along splendidly.

[Mr. Forbes]

Of course we will.

[Skylar Van Dyke / Horace Patterson]

And now I'll say good night. I've had a hard day at my brokers and I'm very tired. Good night, Mrs. Smith.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, good night and thank you.

[Gordon Smith]

Not at all, not at all.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, Gordon, you were wonderful.

[Gordon Smith]

I feel like a new man.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, you see, I was of some use after all.

[Gordon Smith]

Use? You were magnificent.

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

The best.

[Gordon Smith]

The finest little wife in the world.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, wasn't it lucky my finding Mr. Van Dyke?

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

Lucky?

[Gordon Smith]

It was an inspiration.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

And I am a real helpmate.

[Gordon Smith]

I should say you are.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Oh Lordy.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Now who could that be?

[Gordon Smith]

Well, I'll answer it.

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

Good evening, Mr. Smith.

[Gordon Smith]

Good evening.

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

I'm sorry to intrude like this, but it's rather important. My name is Patterson, Blair Patterson.

[Gordon Smith]

Oh, the attorney.

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

Yes.

[Gordon Smith]

Well, come in thank you.

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

I was referred to you by Mrs. Kennedy.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, across the street, yes.

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

She said that you had guests. I just wondered if among them there was a Mr. Mr. Morgan.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Morgan?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, I know.

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

Well, is there Mr. Paul.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

No, no. He's not here either.

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

Mr. Vanderbilt.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Vanderbilt? Oh, no.

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

Well, let me ask you, is one of your guests tall, good looking, interested in various investments?

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Oh, you mean Skyla Van Dyke?

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

Skyla Van Dyke. Yes, I think I do mean Skylar Van Dyke. I'm his cousin. I. I've come for him.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Come for him?

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

Yes. His real name is Pat Patterson. Horace Patterson. He has an illusion that he's a millionaire.

[Gordon Smith]

What? You mean he's crazy?

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

Yes, A little, but harmless, I assure you.

[Gordon Smith]

Dulcie, he's crazy. Skyler Van DJK is crazy.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Then the company that he was. I mean, the merger. The merger that he had the money for. The merger. It isn't. I mean, it fall. It can't fall. Oh, damn.

[Narrator / Announcer]

We pause for station identification. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System. This is knx, the Columbia station, Los Angeles.

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

Now, a momentary break in Dulcie while George Burns and Gracie Allen prepare for the next stanza of our play. Here in Hollywood. Ms. Hedda Harper, one of the screen's brighter comediennes, is as successful socially as she is professionally. Her charming sophistication and delightful wit make her a popular guest at most screen colony functions. The end of the Lenten season has been the occasion for Hollywood's annual display of spring finery. And I've asked Ms. Hopper to report tonight on what she's seen from the reviewing stand of stardom's Easter parade. Our guest is appearing in three films now in production. Tapa, Dangerous Holiday and Vogues of 1938. Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Hedda Harper.

[Angela Forbes]

Thank you so much, Mr. DeMille. Hollywood Vista Parade really began Saturday night with the dinner given by Mr. And Mrs. Basil Rathbone to celebrate their 11th wedding anniversary. All the guests came as brides and grooms, and prizes were worn by Freddy March and his wife as Mr. And Mrs. Caveman wearing a bit of tired leopard skin, and by Loretta Young as the bride of Mephistopheles. Molly Nederick put on her tails and top hat and tucked Mrs. Lubidge under her arm. Myrna Loy and her husband, Arthur Hornblow, came as peasants with headdresses three feet high, while Mr. And Mrs. Mulligan. Misha Hour became for the evening, Mr. And Mrs. Misha Mouse. It was a typical Rathbone party, which means that about every important star in Hollywood was there and what's more, had a grand and glorious time and stayed for breakfast. No. We adjourned for ham and eggs to the home of Adrian, the noted designer. There again were all the stars, this time in their street costumes. And I must say that in their gay prints and tailor maids, they looked like old, old fashioned bouquets. Both Maureen o' Sullivan and Rosalind Russell proved how popular the new large black hats are with their long, bright colored ribbons flowing down the back. Maureen wore a black print dress splashed with brilliant colors, and Rosalind's dress resembled a mass of tulips. One of the guests of honor was the Ronnie of Sarawak, wife of the rajah, but she preferred her traditional East Indian costume with many gold chains, jewels and bracelets. I've been in Hollywood a good many years now and watched it become universally recognized as a fashion center. The annual studio cost for clothes is staggering. As you know, each has its own designers creating their individual styles, for competition is just as keen in them as in stories and stars. Yet when it comes to protecting this investment, every major studio seems to follow the same procedure. They all use luxe flakes. All the major wardrobe departments here in Hollywood have the same reason I myself have. It's a very practical one, too. Luxe flakes keep clothes new looking so much longer. Colors emerge as they go in when you use lux. And now, thank you very much and Goodbye.

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

Thank you, Ms. Harper. Dulcie, starring George Burns and Gracie Allen.

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[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

The next morning, and Blair Patterson, the lawyer who brought the calamitous news of Mr. Van Dyke's hallucinations, is in the living room straightening out his rumpled clothes after spending the night on the sofa. Down the stairs comes the happily demanded Mr. Van Dyke, singing cheerfully.

[Butler Henry]

Hello, Horace.

[Mrs. John Powers (continued)]

What?

[Skylar Van Dyke / Horace Patterson]

Oh, why, Blair. What in the world are you doing here?

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

Oh, I just dropped in to say hello.

[Skylar Van Dyke / Horace Patterson]

You can't fool me. You've come to make me leave. It's very, very embarrassing, Blair.

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

Well, if it's embarrassing for you, what

[Narrator / Announcer]

do you think it is for me?

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

I have a law practice to attend to. I'm getting a little tired of these excursions.

[Skylar Van Dyke / Horace Patterson]

I wish you'd leave me alone. At least half a dozen times during the past few years you've interrupted me in business negotiations that were exceedingly interesting.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Mm.

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

You've been up to something here, Horace.

[Mr. Forbes]

Well, yes.

[Skylar Van Dyke / Horace Patterson]

I've been representing my Van Dyck interest. We had all sorts of wonderful things planned.

[Gordon Smith]

My share alone would have been eight

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

and a half millions.

[Skylar Van Dyke / Horace Patterson]

Besides, we were going to play golf and go horseback riding. I love horses.

[Narrator / Announcer]

Horace, how many times have I told you that I represent the Van Dyke interest?

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

Now, you must let me handle it. You come back to town with me and we'll talk it over.

[Skylar Van Dyke / Horace Patterson]

But I can't leave now.

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

I'm sorry, Horace, but you know our agreement. Unless you do as I say, I'll never go through with that 200 million dollar airplane company of ours.

[Gordon Smith]

Oh, well, all right, but.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Good morning.

[Skylar Van Dyke / Horace Patterson]

Good morning, Mrs. Smith.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, how do you feel this morning, Mr. Van Dyke?

[Skylar Van Dyke / Horace Patterson]

Very melancholy. I'm afraid I must go back to town.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, well, that's too bad. Still, it's all for the best. You must have some breakfast first, though.

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

Thank you, thank you.

[Skylar Van Dyke / Horace Patterson]

I'll go and have it right away. It's hard to do high finance on an empty stomach.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

He can't have breakfast, can he, mister?

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

Oh, yes.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, I had some soft boiled eggs prepared for him. Some soft milk toast. All very soft, you know. Is that all right?

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

Oh, yes, yes, I think that'll be very nice, Mrs. Smith.

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

Thank you.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, don't mention it, Mr. Patterson. I. Oh, hello, garden, darling.

[Butler Henry]

Hello.

[Gordon Smith]

Good morning, Mr. Patterson.

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

Good morning, Mr. Smith.

[Gordon Smith]

Have you seen your cousin?

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

Yes, we had quite a talk.

[Narrator / Announcer]

By the way, you haven't mentioned anything to your guests, have you?

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

I mean, it would be rather embarrassing.

[Gordon Smith]

No, nobody knows a thing. So far as they know, he's Skylar Van Dyke himself. Fine, fine.

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

That's fine. Well, thank you very, very much. And now I. I think I better go and keep an eye on him. You never can tell what big merger he'll attempt next. Yes? Excuse me, Mr. Smith.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, certainly.

[Gordon Smith]

Tulsi.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Yes, dear?

[Gordon Smith]

Tulsi, I want to speak to you.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Yes, of course. What about, darling?

[Gordon Smith]

What about? Do you realize what's happened?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, I don't know. I think. Oh, Gordon, I didn't mean.

[Gordon Smith]

Wait, wait.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Yes, Darling, do you know what Forbes

[Gordon Smith]

is going to say to me when he learns who Van Dyke really is?

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

No.

[Gordon Smith]

He's going to laugh in my face. I'll never get him to change his mind about the merger. Now he thinks he's been made a fool of and he's right.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

But we haven't really done anything to him. Just because we. We asked for more.

[Gordon Smith]

Oh, it wasn't our asking for more.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Oh, you mean the Jewel disappearing?

[Butler Henry]

Yes.

[Gordon Smith]

And his daughter disappearing too.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, it was me again.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

It was me.

[Gordon Smith]

As usual.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, Gordon, how will it all end

[Gordon Smith]

if Ford finds out that Van Dyke is crazy? He'll probably force me out of business. I'll have to start all over again without. Without a cent.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

And without me.

[Gordon Smith]

Dulcie, I love you. I'll always love you. But you're like a child. You don't stop to think.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, I guess I don't, Gordon. I only think. I think. Darling, I'll let you go if you want me to. I'm just all wrong. I'm a false note. I've always wondered how I was able to make a man like you care for me. It seems so silly for a man like you ever to love a false note.

[Gordon Smith]

Dulcie, you're not a false note. You're a melody, a whole tune.

[Narrator / Announcer]

But.

[Gordon Smith]

Oh, I don't know what to do.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, maybe I can reform.

[Gordon Smith]

I doubt it.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, Gordon, please let me try. I'll promise that I'll never interfere with your business affairs again. I'll change completely.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

I'll revolutionize myself.

[Gordon Smith]

Dulcie, I don't want you to change. I love you just as you are. I simply want you to let me handle my own affairs in my own way. If you can promise to do that.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Oh, yes. Yes, Gordy, I promise.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

And I'll keep it till I will.

[Gordon Smith]

Thank you, Dulcie. I hope I'm not wrong this time.

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[Mr. Forbes]

Good morning, Mrs. Smith.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Oh, Mr. Forbes.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

I've been looking for you.

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

Really?

[Mr. Forbes]

Mrs. Smith, I have a slight apology to make. We found my wife's neck.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, there, you see?

[Mr. Forbes]

Your butler found it and put it away for safekeeping. He returned it to Mrs. Forbes this morning.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, I'm so glad. Now I have an apology too. Mr. Forbes, I'm sorry about the elopement, Mr. Forbes. And I'm sorry about the business deal, but it's going to come out all right.

[Mr. Forbes]

I should think it would for your husband. Backed by the Van Dyke millions.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

The Van dyke millions?

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

But, Mr. Far.

[Mr. Forbes]

As a matter of fact, I'm inclined to regret my hasty decision of last night. If I had known before that Mr. Van Dyke was interested.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

That's just it. He isn't interested. I mean, he is, but he can't be.

[Mr. Forbes]

What is all this?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, you see, Gordon will go in with you after all. Because Mr. Van Dyke. Well, Mr. Van Dyke just isn't Mr. Van Dyke.

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

What?

[Mr. Forbes]

What's that?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, no, he has something wrong in his head. He only thinks he's a millionaire.

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

Oh, I see.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

So everything's all right now, isn't it?

[Mr. Forbes]

Oh, yes, yes, splendid. Where's your husband now?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Why, he's in the library.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Would you like to see him?

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

Yes.

[Mr. Forbes]

Her very much.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Well, come along.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

It's right this way, Mr. Forbes. Oh, I just knew everything would turn out all right. Well, here we are.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Oh, Gordon. Gordon, darling.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

I've just fixed it with Mr. Forbes, darling.

[Eleanor Forbes]

What?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Yeah, everything's fine now.

[Gordon Smith]

Chelsea. What did you say?

[Mr. Forbes]

A great deal, Mr. Smith. She told me about Mr. Van Dyke.

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

She took.

[Gordon Smith]

Did you, Dulcie?

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Yeah, of course, dear.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

I told you I'd straighten everything out.

[Gordon Smith]

You certainly have. Well, Mr. Forbes, then of course you know that Mr. Van Dyke.

[Mr. Forbes]

Yeah, I know. But it won't work, Mr. Smith. It won't work, huh? Oh, I'll admit that Mrs. Smith is a clever woman. A very clever woman. But it won't work. A Van Dyke. Not a Van dyke.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Well, but Mr. Fobbs, he really is.

[Gordon Smith]

Shut up, Dulcie.

[Eleanor Forbes]

Oh, yes, sir.

[Mr. Forbes]

I saw through the whole thing at once. Mr. Smith, you began to be sorry. You told me about the Van Dyke merger and you wanted to throw me off the trail. Well, you can't do it. I know what's in the wind. And I'm going to hold you to our agreement.

[Gordon Smith]

Agreement?

[Mr. Forbes]

Well, it was a verbal agreement. Now, as a gentleman, you agreed to come in with me for 16 and 2/3 percentage. And you've got to do it. You've got to come in with me.

[Eleanor Forbes]

Oh.

[Gordon Smith]

Oh, well, all right, Mr. Forbes. I guess you win.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, there, Gordon.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Didn't I tell you I'd fix it for you?

[Eleanor Forbes]

Charlie. Charlie, where are you?

[Mr. Forbes]

Here I am, Eleanor. What do you want?

[Eleanor Forbes]

Oh, Charlie, she's here.

[Skylar Van Dyke / Horace Patterson]

Who?

[Mr. Forbes]

Who's here?

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Angela. She's come back. Oh, how nice.

[Mr. Forbes]

Angela, eh? Well, I Want to speak to her?

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Hello, Father.

[Mr. Forbes]

Come here. Where have you been?

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

Oh, Father, what a question.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, Angela, dear, are you married?

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Of course I am. Oh, she's married. She's married. Isn't that wonderful?

[Mr. Forbes]

So you did it, eh? Where's your husband?

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Yes, Angela, where's your husband?

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

Good morning, everybody.

[Gordon Smith]

Oh, hello, Bill.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Hello, Willie.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Where's Vincent?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Where's Mr. Leech? Oh, Angela, tell us.

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

I don't know, Mrs. Smith.

[Mr. Forbes]

You don't know? Well, isn't that fine?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, Willie, for heaven's sake, what's happened to him?

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

Well, it's a long story, Dulcie.

[Mr. Forbes]

Look here, young man. You helped to arrange this wedding, didn't you?

[Gordon Smith]

Yes, Mr. Forbes.

[Mr. Forbes]

Well, don't you know where the groom is?

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

Sure, I'm the groom.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Are you? Will he say that again?

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

Certainly. I am the groom.

[Gordon Smith]

Well, congratulations.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Congratulations.

[Mr. Forbes]

Now, just a second, young man. Are you a genius?

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

No, sir.

[Mr. Forbes]

Well, are you a writer of any kind sort or description?

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

I should say not.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Well, He's a broker, Mr. Forbes. And isn't it wonderful that that makes everything all right, doesn't it? Well, but what about Mr. Leech, Willie? Where is he?

[Bill (Gordon's brother-in-law)]

I don't know. You see, we started from here all right last night, but down the road a piece. I suddenly thought my tail light was out. Well, Mr. Leech was kind enough to investigate for me. And somehow or other the car started off without him.

[Mr. Forbes]

Young fellow, you. You are all right. And darn clever, too.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, he's my brother. What would you expect? And wasn't it wonderful that I happened to invite him down here for this party?

[Mr. Forbes]

Oh, so this is what you were working for underneath all that Leech business.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

What?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, yes and no. Oh, I'm afraid you don't understand women Very well, Mr. Forbes.

[Mr. Forbes]

I'm afraid I don't.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

But isn't it marvelous?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Angela a married woman and Willie a married man. Oh, I could almost cry.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

But, Mr. Forbes, about that merger.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

You know, 16 2/3% isn't very much for a relation. Brother in law.

[Mr. Forbes]

Well, I. I wasn't very generous about that deal. Or very just either. Smith.

[Gordon Smith]

Yes, sir?

[Mr. Forbes]

What do you say to coming in with me for 20%?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

20?

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Oh, Mr. Forbes.

[Mr. Forbes]

All right, then. All right. If that's not enough, we'll make it 25.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

25?

[Gordon Smith]

Mr. Clousy, be quiet. 25 satisfies me.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Oh, does it?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, if it satisfies you, Gordon, then it satisfies me. I didn't mean to interfere, dear, and I never will again. You know the old saying, A burnt

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Child dreads the fire.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, I've been bitten. I mean, burned.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

And once bitten twice caution.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

I mean. Oh, well, you get the idea, don't you, darling?

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

And that, ladies and gentlemen, brings down the curtain on our play. But not on Burns and Allen, who return for an encore a little later. As you have seen, we were concerned tonight with a party that almost turned out all wrong. And now we're going to extend our stage from Hollywood to New York for a little advice from a hostess famous the world over. Because our parties always turn out all right. Miss Elsa Maxwell. Miss Maxwell has entertained notables the world over. There's hardly a famous person she doesn't know. Right now she's finishing preparations to attend the coronation in England. And so, to check up on the ways of a perfect hostess, we take you to New York. And Elsa Maxwell unexpectedly introduced Noel Coward

[Mrs. John Powers (continued)]

to Queen Mary of Romania at a party. They certainly were as opposite as the Poles, but they got on so well that her Majesty, at last, turning a reflective eye on the witty author, said, why couldn't you become my gentleman in waiting? Noel, delighted, replied, I fear that would be no novelty, your Majesty, I have

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

been waiting all my life.

[Mrs. John Powers (continued)]

But not in Romania, flashed Her Majesty, and Noah was floored. Don't think it takes a lot of money to run a good party. It's having fun that matters. And fun is the same anywhere, whether you're on Main street or Park Avenue. A good laugh is worth a million dollars, and you can afford it just as well on $25 a week as on 2,500. After all, the nicest things in life don't cost the most. That goes for luxe flakes, too. They're used in my house, and there isn't anything finer yet you can buy them for a few cents. Women who dress on nothing a year or women who spend thousands are all fans for luxe flowers. Luxe keeps dresses and lingerie from looking old and tired. It's a sort of pet bath for your clothes. Pep is a thing that makes parties go. It's more important than money. Now, I've given parties on a shoestring all my life. All you need is an idea which allows people to escape from their everyday selves. You can ask people to come dressed as their opposites or as themselves or their pet hates or anything. A successful party is as simple as that.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

One of the best times I ever

[Mrs. John Powers (continued)]

had was when I went to a stag party dressed as Professor Albert Einstein. I talked with a German accent all evening until the party was over. Groucho Marx and Clark Gable. Two of my most intimate friends actually didn't know who I was. The following night, I met the great scientist at Charlie Chaplin. He frowned at me. Bell, I hurt you. But me last night. Physically, yes, but not mentally. Hair doctor, I replied, trembling. Perhaps it was better the other way. He thundered, and I felt crushed. Remember, for bigger and better parties, let your guests escape from their troubles. Have a surprise up your sleeve and don't feel you have to be extravagant. And I'll guarantee the best party in the world. Thank you and goodbye.

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

From Hollywood, Ms. Maxwell. We send our transcontinental thanks. George Burns tells me that Gracie has something very nice to say about our product. So here they are, ladies and gentlemen, George Burns and Gracie Allen.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Thank you, Mr. DeMille. I certainly have something nice to say about Luxe flakes. I think they're delicious.

[Narrator / Announcer]

Delicious Luxe flakes.

[Mr. Forbes]

Delicious.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Yes, my brother had them for breakfast at morning.

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

Is he mad?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, he must be. He was foaming at the mouth.

[Gordon Smith]

Don't pay any attention to her, Mr. DeMille.

[Butler Henry]

She's nuts.

[Gordon Smith]

She's probably the only woman in the world who's living with a cracked brain.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Please, Judge, Mr. DeMille isn't interested in who I married. I say, Mr. DeMille, I made up a play.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Here it is. See what it says?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Rope by Gracie Allen.

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

It's got to be Rotten by Gracie Allen.

[Mrs. John Powers (testimonial speaker)]

Yes.

[Gordon Smith]

Gracie, if it were my play, it wouldn't say Roten.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, no, neither would the critics. They'd say Play Rotten by George Burton.

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

Written rotten.

[Gordon Smith]

Rotten.

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

Gracie, you don't know English.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Oh, Mr. DeMille, you don't know George's plays.

[Narrator / Announcer]

Thank you.

[Gordon Smith]

Thank you.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Thank you.

[Gordon Smith]

Well, what's the name of your play?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, it's the love story call life begins at 35.

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

You mean life begins at 40.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, that's what it was originally, Mr. DeMille, but my agent took off 10%.

[Gordon Smith]

Yes, you see, our agent must be on a diet.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, anyhow, George and I will act it out and you see if it has any possibilities. Now, George, you and I are lovers and I start to make love to you.

[Gordon Smith]

And what character do I play?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, you play the part of a club man.

[Gordon Smith]

Well, you mean a large man?

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Well, not too large.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

You're not too small.

[Gordon Smith]

I see. Sort of.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

That's it.

[Gordon Smith]

Thanks.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, anyhow, I'm Violet Ray, a movie extra. And George, your Montgomery Ward, my lover. And you're jealous of your rival, Sis Roebuck?

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

I. I suppose he comes driving up in his catalog.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

I don't get It.

[Mr. Forbes]

Well, let's.

[Gordon Smith]

Let's start this silly play.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Now, watch it, Mr. DeMille.

[Eleanor Forbes]

Yes.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

All right, George, here's your part.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Act.

[Gordon Smith]

All right, now for some acting. Do you love me, Vi?

[Blair Patterson (Attorney)]

Vi?

[Gordon Smith]

Do you love me? Why, do you love me?

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, Vy shouldn't I love you?

[Gordon Smith]

Men are fools to love.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

What did you say, Montgomery?

[Gordon Smith]

I said, men are fools to love.

[Dulcie Smith (Mrs. Gordon Smith)]

Well, I guess you're right. But who else is there for us girls to love?

[Mr. Forbes]

Shame.

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

That's very good, Gracie. But we did one play tonight.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Oh, did we?

[Gordon Smith]

Well, good night, Mr. DeMille. Come on, Gracie.

[Mrs. Smith (Dulcie) or possibly Mrs. Forbes (context varies)]

Oh,

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

Now I know why. George Burns.

[Narrator / Announcer]

Thank you, George Burns and Gracie Allen. Ladies and gentlemen, this is your announcer, Melville Ruick. A most important message concerning next week's program will be given by Mr. DeMille in just a moment. Assisting our stars tonight were John Davidson as Skyler Van Dyke, Victor Rodman as Blair Patterson, Joe Franz as Henry and leora Thatcher as Mrs. Forbes. Burns and Allen will be seen next in the Paramount Picture. Artists and models. Mr. DeMille also appeared through courtesy of Paramount and Louis Silver's 20th Century Fox, where he was in charge of music for the new film 50 Roads to Town. Now, before Mr. DeMille tells you about next week's presentation of the Lux Radio Theatre, we have a brief announcement. Next Monday, April 5, marks the beginning of a very important week, National Retail Grocers Week. Be sure to go personally to your grocers during that week. You will be well repaid. Splendid values will be featured generally over a wide list of product which you use regularly. Incidentally, you will find in the great majority of stores from coast to coast, special values on Luxe Flakes and Luxe Toilet Soap. Once again, our producer of the many

[Narrator / Cecil B. DeMille]

novels written against a background of the World War, few carry such tremendous appeal as Ernest Hemingway's masterpiece, A Farewell to Arms. It made a remarkable play, as adapted by Lawrence Starling, a sensational motion picture. And next Monday night, from the Lux Radio Theatre, we bring you this magnificent love story starring one of the most celebrated personalities the screen has ever known, Mr. Clark Gable. We shall hear Mr. Gable as Lieutenant Henry. And I'm especially happy to announce that we've secured Ms. Josephine Hutchinson for the part of Nurse Catherine Barclay and Adolphe Monjou for Rinaldi. Our sponsors, the makers of Lux Flakes, join me in inviting you to be with us again next Monday night when the Lux Radio Theater presents Clark Gable, Josephine Hutchinson and Adolphe Monjou in A Farewell to Arms. This is Cecil B. DeMille saying good night to you. From Hollywood.

[Narrator / Announcer]

Our stars next Monday night o', clock, Josephine Hutchinson and Adolph Marshall in Ernest Hemingway's brilliant story, A Farewell to Ours. This is your announcer, Melda Rood, bidding you good night on behalf of our sponsors, our stars and guests. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.

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