
Fibber McGee And Molly 35-04-30 (0003) Hot Dogs and a Blowout
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Harlow Wilcox
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Rico Martelli
The makers of Johnson's Auto Wax present a shining half hour with Rico Martelli's orchestra, Kathleen Wells, Ronnie and Van. And starring those Nutty Nomads, those two traveling truth tripping troubadours, Bibber McGee and Molly Marcelli opens the show with a musical weather report in March winds and April showers with our Russian rhythm boys, Dustoff and Brightsky singing the.
Fibber McGee
March winds and April showers Make way for sweet May flowers and then comes Junior moon and you March winds and April showers Romance is only ours an outdoor paradise.
Rico Martelli
For two with lips like mine in.
Fibber McGee
A frill divine I'm so inspired that I'll get you the moon for a toy balloon. March winds and April showers Make way for happy hours and May time June time, love time on you.
Rico Martelli
And be here. Who have we here merrily meandering down the macadam in that jittering jalopy but Bibber McGee and Molly?
Molly McGee
We'd better be stopping for gas, McGee. According to the gauge, we've been running on a dry tank for 21 miles.
Fibber McGee
That ain't nothing. Nothing? Nope. I mind the time I run a motorcycle from Cape Town, Africa to Mongabula. A distance is some 612 mile on a pint of coconut milk. You see, what I done was never your mind.
Molly McGee
Now, you needn't be practicing your dime novels on me, fibber McGee pulling that station there, I would.
Fibber McGee
Just going to better get them all gas.
Molly McGee
Ask him if he let you milk a coconut, McGee.
Fibber McGee
Oh, shook sure we want some gas, Young fell. All right.
Rico Martelli
How much? Fill her up.
Fibber McGee
Well, no. How far is the target still?
Rico Martelli
83 miles.
Molly McGee
And how far from there to Milton?
Rico Martelli
Oh, I'd say about 110. That makes, let's see, 83 and 100. Oh, about 200 altogether.
Fibber McGee
That's just about what I figured. Give me two gallons. Wait a minute. How much is it?
Rico Martelli
Well, the red gas is 18 and a half cents. The blue gas is 17 and the white gas is 15.
Fibber McGee
Is that the whitest gas you got?
Molly McGee
Mix up a gallon of blue and a gallon of red, mister. Purple's me favorite color.
Rico Martelli
All right, all right. Hey, there's a circus over in Milltown.
Molly McGee
You don't mean to be.
Fibber McGee
Yes, that's why we're going there. I used to own the big elephant they got in the circus there.
Rico Martelli
Name's Myrtle.
Fibber McGee
Myrtle? The gentle giant of the jungle. Real sweet elephant. Myrtle was sure she must have read the poem. What poem?
Molly McGee
Why should the spirits of Myrtle be proud?
Fibber McGee
Remember to interrupt him, Molly. This young feller asked me to tell.
Rico Martelli
Him about murder, didn't he?
Fibber McGee
No. Well, sir, I brought Myrtle over to this country in 1916. He was just kidding me. Only 116 year old.
Rico Martelli
Is that so?
Fibber McGee
Yep. That's why I want to go see her again. See if that busted leg is healed up okay.
Rico Martelli
Busted leg? I never heard of an elephant breaking its leg.
Fibber McGee
First case I ever heard of myself. You see, it was like this. Here we was into Wheeling, West Virginia, one chilly day with a carnival playing the Chili Con.
Molly McGee
Carnival?
Fibber McGee
Well, sir, the first day we had a street parade.
Rico Martelli
A parade?
Molly McGee
You sure, McGee? Parade? Myrtle wouldn't step on him.
Fibber McGee
Say, whose elephant was this? Yes, sir, we had bands. Tally oaks, animal cages and 47 clowns, including yourself, includin. No, I was an elephant tender. Known into the profession as a bull boy.
Molly McGee
No argument.
Fibber McGee
Now listen, Molly, if you don't.
Rico Martelli
What happened then, sir?
Fibber McGee
Well, sir, as I was saying, I always rid onto Myrtle's head on account of becoming. Because she was kind of nervous and scared particular. Was she scared of mosquitoes and moose.
Rico Martelli
Moose?
Fibber McGee
Mouses. All elephants are scared of moose. I mean mouses. Well, sir, there we was a whooping down the main street there. And riding to the main part of town, Myrtle stopped dead into her tracks. She'd have threw me if I hadn't been such a good elephant jockey. Threw the whole parade into a ruckus. Lions was roaring and folks was shouting. And Myrtle. Myrtle reading the signs, knew they was going to be rioting.
Molly McGee
I never knew elephants could understand it.
Fibber McGee
Understand what?
Molly McGee
Reading and riot.
Fibber McGee
Well, sir, most everybody run into a movie theater till I could get Myrtle under control.
Rico Martelli
Well, was any damage done?
Molly McGee
Only to the truth, mister.
Fibber McGee
Oh, not much. A candy store was wrecked when Myrtle went through the window. Funny thing, too. On her way through, she had four pounds of chocolate caramels. And we had to drill her trunk out next day with a 3 inch reamer. But there wasn't much damage done. Fruit stand dumped over three automobiles standing there and. And two of them got scratched up. The other one had Johnson's Auto wax onto it. I kind of slipped that one in there, didn't I? But Myrtle's leg was the main thing.
Rico Martelli
Well, how was her leg injured?
Fibber McGee
You mean, how'd she come to bust it?
Rico Martelli
Yeah.
Fibber McGee
Well, you see, on her way out of the rear of the candy store. She had to go through a pool room.
Molly McGee
And that's how she got behind the eight ball, I suppose.
Fibber McGee
As I was saying, as she was going through this here pool room. She seen them billiard balls on the table there. And give him a kind of a curiosity sniff just in passing. And brother, will you believe me. In them innocent little ivory billiard balls laying there. She recognizes her cousin Elmer. Which had been kidnapped in 1678.
Rico Martelli
You don't say.
Fibber McGee
I do say. Well, sir, in revenge for Elmer, she give the table a boot with her leg and snap. Busted the leg, drives the cow.
Molly McGee
You mean the calf with you?
Fibber McGee
No, the cow. Cause it's too big for a calf. So that's why we're going over to see Myrtle, boy. How much?
Rico Martelli
Owe you 36 cents. Thank you. But listen, sir, you didn't explain what confused Myrtle in the first place.
Fibber McGee
Confused? She wasn't confused, boy. Myrtle was just bubbling over with happiness, that's all.
Molly McGee
For why, Magee?
Fibber McGee
Well, sir, as the parade was going down the street. All the folks leaning out of their windows and waves their hands. And with all them palms fluttering overhead. Myrtle thought she was home into her own little jungle again. Be seeing you, sir.
Rico Martelli
And that, friends, is Martelli and his men playing Blue Room. And if we may digress a moment from Blue Room. Pink pachyderms and white lies. Let us tell you that it will be a red letter day in the life of your car. When you give it a shiny coat of Johnson's. Well, bibber, back again, I see. I thought you were driving over to see an elephant.
Fibber McGee
I was, young feller, but I detoured off on the trunk line.
Rico Martelli
I get it. I guess.
Fibber McGee
I come over to give you a hand with the commercial announcement box.
Rico Martelli
Carlos Harlow Wilcox. And I can handle the commercial announcement all right myself.
Fibber McGee
That's what you think, folks. Johnson's Auto Wax will give you nice shiny sheen onto your chassis. That'll shine like the sun when the shine shows. I mean, when the sun shines on the feeny shine of the sunny, folks. Johnson's Auto Wax.
Molly McGee
Six year fibbing. You'll have to excuse McGee, Mr. Wilcox. He's been eating Alphabet soup in the Greek dressing. McGee, why do you always have to fucking.
Rico Martelli
Well, well, it may have been Alphabet soup to fibber. But it will be duck soup for you to have a gleaming, protective finish on your car this summer, no matter how dull and dirty your old car looks. Now Johnson's Auto Wax will make it shine like new again. No fooling. Johnson's Auto Wax and Cleaner work magic on any car finish. The cleaner is absolutely safe to use, quickly takes off all the old film and dirt without the slightest injury to the car finish, changes a dull, faded paint job to a bright, sparkling luster right before your eyes. And here's something very important. Johnson's Auto Wax saves the car from the damaging effects of the hot sun. The wax polish forms a tough shield of protection, though the ultraviolet sun rays cannot get at the finish to destroy its beauty. And now is the time to wax polish your car. You can do the job yourself or have it done for you at a nearby service station. Johnson's Auto Wax is for sale at hardware stores, auto accessory stores and service stations. When you purchase the wax and cleaner, your dealer will give you free a can of black auto enamel for covering up rust spots and blemishes on the fenders or chassis of your car. But you'll hear more about this free offer at the end of the program. And now we'll take advantage of the fact that Bibber Magee is not in sight to present that smiling little dongstress, Ms. Kathleen Wells. Kathleen is going to sing Every day.
Kathleen Wells
Love Sweet song, dear Sounds a little wrong, dear when you sing it in a kidding way Though I'm mighty frivolous and slighting honest I'm not fooling when I say every day I fall in love all over again with the Blue.
Harlow Wilcox
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Kathleen Wells
I'll never let our L I'll always keep it new Every day I'll let you know that my valentine and you will live the sweetest story like honeymooners.
Rico Martelli
Do.
Kathleen Wells
Anything I do, I'll do to prove to you that romance never will die it may be a word or a sigh A kiss that I'll bring and as the is so good.
Fibber McGee
Every.
Kathleen Wells
Day I fall in love all over again with you I'll never let her love grow old I'll always keep it and everything I do I'll always do to prove to you that romance never will die it may be only a word or a sign A gift that I bring and every year every day I fall in love all over again with you I'll never let our love grow I'll always keep it Live.
Molly McGee
Well.
Rico Martelli
Well, well, well How a little music makes the time fly. We really don't know how we do it, but here are Fibber and Molly McGee tomorrow morning, all ready to leave the tourist camp for the day's driving.
Molly McGee
Fibber McGee, where have you been? Well, who do you think? Henry viii.
Fibber McGee
He ate what?
Molly McGee
Don't be trying to change the subject. I want to know where you been all morning. Do you think we'll get any place lying around the tourist camp all day?
Fibber McGee
Lying around? Chucks, I was just telling some folks over there how me and Mike McGillicully built that there dirigible submarine and took it off.
Molly McGee
That's what I says. Lying around the tourist stand. I got you there, McVee. Now, where have you really been?
Fibber McGee
Just over to the hot dog stand there to get me a hot dog.
Molly McGee
Oh, a hot dog, is it?
Fibber McGee
Yep.
Molly McGee
You got a pretty big appetite for hot dogs all of a sudden, seems to me.
Fibber McGee
Well, they're real good hot dogs, Molly. Big and shiny like they've been all polished up with Johnson and.
Molly McGee
Never you mind the appetite. Advertising.
Fibber McGee
Okay, okay. But say, Molly, there's a real pretty gal behind the counter over there. Sweetest, big violet eyes.
Molly McGee
Oh, a girl, is it? And with big violet eyes.
Fibber McGee
Yep. Too bad she squints. Well, I'm ready to start anytime you are.
Molly McGee
Well, that's lovely. You're ready anytime I am. And I've been ready all morning. Did you check the tires, McGee?
Fibber McGee
Gotcha. I kicked every one of them.
Molly McGee
How about that one on the offline side there? Looks a little lumpy to me. If you put that new inner tube in wrong like you do.
Fibber McGee
Now, now, now, now, now, Molly, don't you tell me how to put in inner tubes. Wasn't I the fastest and best tire changer at the racetrack at Indianapolis onto the 4th of July.
Molly McGee
They don't race on the 4th. It is on Memorial Day, of course.
Fibber McGee
That's why they call it Memorial Day. In memory of me breaking the record, changing tires for speed and expeller. Why, I mind the tire.
Molly McGee
Never you mind. Now, I want to know about Our tires. What makes it so lumpy? Look at it.
Fibber McGee
Well, you know, Molly, we come over one of the highest mountains in these parts yesterday and so what? Boy, Molly, you know mountain air is bumpy. Don't you remember? I pumped up that there tire right onto the top peak there.
Molly McGee
And who told you that mountain air was bumpy? Air is air and hot air is McGee.
Fibber McGee
It's a well known fact, Molly. As I was flying an airplane once over the Sangahookas Mountains, the radio operator says to me, he says. Pilot, he says.
Molly McGee
Pilot.
Fibber McGee
Assistant pilot, he says.
Molly McGee
Assistant pilot.
Fibber McGee
Go away, he says. Have you noticed how bumpy this here mountain air is? He says.
Molly McGee
And I says to him, I don't ride a mile from this spot till I know for sure that that tire is all right. So don't be wasting air that might be needed.
Fibber McGee
Okay, okay, I'll look at it. You wouldn't care for a hot dog, would you first?
Molly McGee
No, I wouldn't. And suppose you keep your face out of the hot dogs long enough to face some cold facts, Chucks, I'd.
Fibber McGee
I'd kind of go for a hot dog myself right now.
Molly McGee
Go on with you. If you had three more of them things today, you wouldn't be able to set the car for wagging your tail. Now get busy.
Fibber McGee
Okay. I just thought I'd what wanted me to do. Get some oil?
Molly McGee
No, forgetful. Check up all that bad tire.
Fibber McGee
You don't mean that bad tire. You mean the worst of the bad tires.
Molly McGee
Don't be stalling for time.
Fibber McGee
Okay, Just here on this. Hey, you mean this one? Boy, it's as solid as the Rock of Gibraltar.
Molly McGee
Gibraltar, ignorant. The G is soft like that tire's going to be when we're 10 miles out on the road.
Fibber McGee
Don't you worry about that tire, Molly baby. When I change his tires, they say change. Well, I mind the time when I.
Molly McGee
There you are, Mickey. Can't you just smell the fresh mountain air coming out of that tire?
Fibber McGee
Well, except. Molly, I'll dine you off. I'll change it again. Hey, Molly, where you going? Where are you going?
Molly McGee
You stay there and get busy and go to get yourself a hot.
Fibber McGee
Oh, hey, Molly, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Come here. What is it now, Chuck? Molly, I'm. I'm sorry. I didn't think that time.
Molly McGee
Listen to me, Maggie. The idea of a man your age.
Fibber McGee
What you mean a man my age? Why, shuck. I can jump up and crack my heels together, can't I?
Molly McGee
Sure, but there's no use having both ends Cracked at once, Magee.
Fibber McGee
Well, anyway, nobody's no older than what he peeled. What's the good of counting all to your birthday when the future has so much appeal? Why, it's the same on your first as it is on your 91st birthday.
Molly McGee
That's right, Nikki. You're just as old as you look and just as young as you feel.
Fibber McGee
Oh, my heart is full of romance when the grass is growing green. I may be over 60, but I feel like sweet 16.
Molly McGee
Whoop. Won't be doing you think fits your Clark Gable, that fella on the screen.
Fibber McGee
I may be over 60, but I'd be like sweet 16.
Molly McGee
16.
Fibber McGee
I want to dance, I want to sing. I know it's winter, but it feels like spring. I'm not too old to have my fling. The world don't owe me a gosh darn thing.
Molly McGee
Why would you? You're the life of every part.
Fibber McGee
You betcha.
Molly McGee
You're a jolly jelly bean.
Fibber McGee
I may be over 60, but I feel like sweet wiggle.
Molly McGee
Hey, nanny nonny and a razzmatazz.
Fibber McGee
When I'm on a kiddie party. I'm the youngest on the sea. I may be over 60, but I feel like sweet 16. Hot cha cha cha.
Molly McGee
All my friends are fat and 40s. Till I keep my shape so mean. I may be over 60 foot, but.
Fibber McGee
I feel like sweet sticks.
Molly McGee
Weedy, weedy, weedy, weedy weedy wee.
Fibber McGee
I have no aches, I have no pain. I'm not rheumatic when it feels like rain. I've got romance in every vein. I spend all my evenings in Lovers Lanes.
Molly McGee
You don't need overhaul and McGee, you're a darn good old machine.
Fibber McGee
I may be, but I feel like.
Kathleen Wells
Sweet dick Ding skiddicky skedaty skedatoo ski.
Rico Martelli
And that was that. With a hey, Nanny Molly and the fiber McGee. From which we go into a number by Martelli and the Trio, in which the losers are all winners. Lost my rhythm, lost my music. Lost my man. Take it, Ric.
Kathleen Wells
I got no music. I lost my rhythm and I lost my music. When I lost my man.
Fibber McGee
Where's your ambition?
Rico Martelli
No ambition, no ignition. No, sir.
Molly McGee
There's no show.
Kathleen Wells
It's only intermission. When you've lost your man.
Fibber McGee
Why don't you try dancing?
Kathleen Wells
Well, my dancing drive me nothing.
Fibber McGee
You were a harp singer.
Kathleen Wells
The wat singer can sing her song without a song to sing.
Molly McGee
My rhythm.
Fibber McGee
Indeed you do need my music.
Rico Martelli
Sure do.
Kathleen Wells
If a man comes home, he'll bring them with him. I need my music and I need my R. Without that I need my rhythm. I need my music. If a man comes home, he'll bring them with him. Bring my music and I bring my rhythm, I'm nothing. All right, without.
Fibber McGee
Just a minute, folks. For a special pronouncement, give me a fan player, will you please? There's mutiny in that there band, marchesi. Listen, folks, me and Molly has got room into the back seat of our car for three of you folks that's listening in. All you gotta do to apply for the ride. Hey there, clean old waxcar who pushing.
Rico Martelli
Around Harlow Wilcox to you. And I'll take this announcement. Ladies and gentlemen. You probably wouldn't even apply for that ride, remembering the state of Fibber's tires. But you can have all the fun and none of the trouble by riding along with us every Tuesday night at this same hour. But Fibber wasn't fibbing in one particular. We are making you a free offer. And a lot more sensible one than his. We're offering you free a 40 cent captain of black auto enamel with every purchase of Johnson's Auto Wax and Cleaner. It's a very high grade black enamel which will successfully cover up all the disfiguring rusty spots on the chassis or fenders of your car. A brush comes right with the can of enamel, so you'll find it very easy to apply. Ask for Johnson's Auto Wax and Cleaner at your hardware store, service station or auto accessory store. The combination costs only 98 cents and you get the 40 cent can of touch up enamel free. Remember, Johnson's Auto Wax will keep your car young and beautiful, protect it from the ultraviolet rays of the sun and greatly increase its trade in value. And don't forget, you have a rollicking rendezvous with Johnson's Auto Wax and Bibber McGee next Tuesday night at this same hour. Your announcer is Harlow Wilcox, I hope. Good night. This is the National Broadcasting Company.
Fibber McGee And Molly 35-04-30 (0003) "Hot Dogs and a Blowout" – Detailed Summary
Harold's Old Time Radio presents an engaging episode of "Fibber McGee and Molly" titled "Hot Dogs and a Blowout." This episode masterfully blends humor, storytelling, and musical interludes, capturing the essence of the Golden Age of Radio. Below is a comprehensive summary that encapsulates all key points, discussions, insights, and conclusions from the episode.
Timestamp: 03:50 - 07:38
The episode kicks off with Fibber McGee and his wife, Molly, driving down the macadam in their quirky jalopy. Concern arises when Molly notices they're running low on gas.
Fibber downplays the situation humorously, comparing their predicament to running vast distances on minimal resources.
Their conversation reveals Fibber's penchant for tall tales, setting the stage for comedic exchanges about their vehicle's fuel situation.
Timestamp: 07:38 - 11:44
Fibber recounts an adventurous and humorous story about his past experiences with an elephant named Myrtle.
The narrative delves into how Myrtle, despite being a gentle giant, caused chaos during a parade due to a misinterpretation of her cousin Elmer's plight.
This segment is rich with slapstick humor and showcases Fibber's storytelling abilities, highlighting his eccentric character.
Timestamp: 12:14 - 16:33
Mid-episode, the show seamlessly integrates a humorous commercial for Johnson's Auto Wax, delivered by Fibber himself.
The commercial is filled with puns and playful language, making it both promotional and entertaining. It emphasizes the product's benefits while maintaining the show's comedic tone.
Timestamp: 14:24 - 16:33
Kathleen Wells provides a melodic break with her rendition of "Love Sweet Song, Dear," adding a touch of romance to the episode.
This musical piece serves as a respite from the comedic dialogues, enriching the episode's dynamic.
Timestamp: 18:09 - 23:00
Returning to the main narrative, Fibber and Molly engage in a spirited discussion about their car's tires, accentuating Fibber's forgetfulness and Molly's practicality.
Fibber attempts to justify the condition of the tires with outlandish explanations, leading to a humorous clash of perspectives.
This segment highlights the classic dynamic between the couple, with Fibber's antics juxtaposed against Molly's no-nonsense attitude.
Timestamp: 18:20 - 21:37
In a lighthearted pursuit, Fibber confesses to Molly that his real intention was to visit a hot dog stand rather than address the car issues.
Molly's skepticism leads to a comical confrontation about Fibber's priorities, blending everyday concerns with exaggerated humor.
Timestamp: 22:30 - 23:57
The couple delves into a playful banter about age and vitality, with Fibber asserting his youthful spirit despite his years.
This exchange underscores the enduring love and playful teasing that defines their relationship, adding emotional depth to the humor.
Timestamp: 24:32 - 27:57
As the episode nears its end, another musical number interlaces with a humorous closing announcement tying back to the Johnson's Auto Wax commercial.
The finale encapsulates the show's charm, blending music, humor, and promotional content seamlessly.
Fibber McGee on Running Low on Gas:
Myrtle the Elephant's Story:
Johnson's Auto Wax Commercial:
Fibber on Feeling Young:
Molly on Tire Condition:
"Hot Dogs and a Blowout" is a quintessential episode that showcases the timeless humor and endearing relationship between Fibber McGee and Molly. Through a blend of storytelling, witty dialogues, and musical interludes, the episode offers a delightful listening experience reminiscent of the Golden Age of Radio. Whether grappling with car troubles, reminiscing about circus elephants, or indulging in the simple pleasure of a hot dog, Fibber and Molly's adventures are both entertaining and heartwarming.
For listeners who haven't experienced this episode, "Hot Dogs and a Blowout" promises laughter, relatable scenarios, and the charming dynamics that have made "Fibber McGee and Molly" a beloved classic.