Fibber McGee And Molly 35-07-22 (0015) The Baseball Instructor

Summary

Podcast Title: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Fibber McGee And Molly 35-07-22 (0015) The Baseball Instructor
Release Date: April 3, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of Fibber McGee and Molly, listeners are transported back to the Golden Age of Radio, immersing themselves in the humorous and heartwarming antics of the beloved couple, Fibber McGee and Molly McGee. Set against the backdrop of a sold-out baseball game, the episode intertwines classic comedic timing with engaging character interactions, all while subtly incorporating period-appropriate advertisements that enhance the storytelling without detracting from the main narrative.

Main Plot

The central storyline revolves around Fibber McGee's mission to surprise his wife, Molly, by securing tickets to the opening game of the baseball season. Despite the stadium being sold out, Fibber is determined to use his influence to procure the coveted passes, leading to a series of comedic endeavors and interactions with various town figures.

Key Scenes and Interactions

1. The Challenge to Attend the Ballgame (02:49 - 05:35)

Molly expresses her eagerness to attend the season's opening baseball game, prompting Fibber to reveal that the park is sold out. Molly, undeterred, challenges Fibber to use his influence to secure tickets.

• Molly McGee (02:54): "But Molly, I called up and the park is sold out."
• Molly McGee (03:03): "Oh, what of it? A man of your influence, huh? You always said you could get in any place you wanted to. One way or another."

Fibber accepts the challenge, assuring Molly that he'll find a way, though he's hesitant to resort to underhanded methods like smuggling into the ballpark.

2. Interaction with Mrs. Uppington (05:14 - 07:55)

While attempting to navigate his way into securing tickets, Fibber interacts with Mrs. Uppington, who graciously offers them tickets. However, the tickets are for a different game, leaving Fibber conflicted about fulfilling his promise to Molly.

• Molly McGee (06:18): "Our guest is not speaking about cups and saucers. He represents the United China Relief, for which our organization is helping to raise a very necessary seven million dollar fund."
• Fibber McGee (07:32): "I sure do. If I felt any more sheepish, I'd rent myself out to jump over fences for people with insomnia."

This interaction highlights Fibber's internal struggle between his commitments and the unexpected help he receives.

3. Mayor Harlow Wilcox's Advertisement Integration (09:54 - 17:19)

Mayor Harlow Wilcox enters the scene, attempting to pitch Johnson Wax products through baseball metaphors, blending advertisement seamlessly into the narrative.

• Harlow Wilcox (09:56): "You see, it's so easy to take care of your linoleum floors with Johnson Self Polishing Blow Coat."
• Fibber McGee (13:21): "I pitched for the salesman's team of the Johnson Company back in Racine, Wisconsin. Been a big help to me ever since too."

Through witty dialogue and clever analogies, the episode maintains its comedic essence while subtly promoting products relevant to the era.

4. Training Mayor Wilcox (17:19 - 25:53)

Determined to keep his promise, Fibber decides to train Mayor Wilcox to throw the ceremonial first pitch. This training session is filled with humorous mishaps and banter, showcasing Fibber's resourcefulness and the Mayor's reluctance.

• Fibber McGee (17:19): "Why can't you go at the game, Abigail? Oh, nice club work."
• Molly McGee (20:12): "Well, listen, isn't getting us to the ball game."

Despite Fibber's best efforts, Mayor Wilcox struggles with the basics of pitching, leading to comedic frustration and eventual realization that alternative solutions are necessary.

5. Climax and Resolution (25:53 - 28:10)

As the episode nears its conclusion, Fibber faces the dilemma of not having secured tickets in time. In a final comedic twist, an attempt to involve the Mayor further complicates matters, leading to an unexpected yet humorous resolution.

• Fibber McGee (24:55): "I just like she was face with a baseball bat."
• Molly McGee (27:52): "Ah, he's all right."

The couple reconciles the day's events, emphasizing their enduring bond and the humor found in everyday challenges.

Musical Interludes

Throughout the episode, musical interludes featuring blues-inspired tunes add a nostalgic charm, enhancing the storytelling without overpowering the dialogue.

• Harlow Wilcox (18:26 - 19:13): Sings a melancholic blues number, reflecting the emotional undertones of the narrative.
• Fibber McGee and Harlow Wilcox (19:51 - 20:12): Continue the musical theme, intertwining it with the ongoing dialogue.

Concluding Remarks

"The Baseball Instructor" brilliantly captures the essence of old-time radio storytelling, blending humor, relatable characters, and subtle advertising into a cohesive and entertaining narrative. The episode not only entertains with its comedic scenarios but also evokes a sense of nostalgia for the bygone era of family-centered radio programs. Through memorable quotes and engaging interactions, Fibber and Molly McGee navigate the challenges of securing a baseball game outing, ultimately reaffirming their love and partnership.

Notable Quotes

• Molly McGee (02:54): "But Molly, I called up and the park is sold out."
• Fibber McGee (03:03): "Oh, what of it? A man of your influence, huh?"
• Harlow Wilcox (09:56): "It's so easy to take care of your linoleum floors with Johnson Self Polishing Blow Coat."
• Fibber McGee (13:21): "I pitched for the salesman's team of the Johnson Company back in Racine, Wisconsin."
• Molly McGee (16:08): "It's no such a thing, really. I just take an interest in the game at all."
• Fibber McGee (24:55): "I just like she was face with a baseball bat."

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This episode serves as a delightful reminder of the golden days of radio, capturing the humor and warmth that made Fibber McGee and Molly a beloved classic. Whether you're a longtime fan or new to their adventures, "The Baseball Instructor" offers an engaging and entertaining experience that stands the test of time.

Transcript

[Harlow Wilcox]

If your job at a healthcare facility includes disinfecting against viruses, you know prevention is the best medicine. And maintaining healthy spaces starts with a healthy cleaning routine. Grainger's world class supply chain helps ensure you have the quality products you need when you need them. From disinfectants and cleaning supplies to personal protective equipment. So you can help deliver a clean bill of health. Call 1-800-GRAINGER clickgranger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done. The Johnson Wax program with Fiber McGee and Molly Lakers of Johnson's Wax and Johnson's Self Polishing Blow coat. Present fiber McGee and Molly written by Don Quinn with songs by the King's Men and music by Billy Mills Orchestra. The show opens with who cares? Last night I read an interesting advertisement by a tire company telling car owners how to take better care of their tires to make them last. This seemed to me to be very helpful advertising and it suggested to me to make sure that every car owner also knows how easily he can take better care of the finish of his automobile. With Johnson's car New Cleaning and polishing a car used to be a big job, one of those all day or at least half day affairs. But Carnu has done away with most of that hard work. Because Carnu both cleans and polishes in one application, two jobs at once in quick time. Carnue is a liquid polish. You massage it lightly over the car finish, let it dry, wipe it off. It cleans amazingly, brings back your car's original showroom shine. If you want added protection for that gleaming finish, if you want to save money on car washing, you can apply a coat of wax too. But first, do a double cleaning and polishing job with Johnson Car. New spell C A R N U Take me out to the ball game used to be a very popular song. Particular with Mrs. McGee of 79 Westful Vista, who at this very moment is singing the old refrain to her husband as we meet River McGee and Molly.

[Molly McGee]

McGee, why don't you want to take me out the ball game? It's the opening game of the season today and I love baseball.

[Fibber McGee]

But Molly, I called up and the park is sold out.

[Molly McGee]

Oh, what of it? A man of your influence, huh? You always said you could get in any place you wanted to. One way or another.

[Fibber McGee]

I can too. Oh, I can get in all right. But I wouldn't ask you to smuggle yourself into the ballpark in a beer truck.

[Molly McGee]

Oh, McGee, come on. What are you president of the chamber of commerce for if you can't even get tickets to a ball game.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Tickets?

[Fibber McGee]

Me? Go to a ball game on a ticket?

[Molly McGee]

Why not?

[Fibber McGee]

If I can't get in on a pass, I won't go. Only the common people buy tickets.

[Molly McGee]

Oh, yes. Well, I'm a common people and I want to see that ball game.

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, gee whiz, Molly, I don't quite see how.

[Molly McGee]

Mickey, I'm challenging you.

[Fibber McGee]

You are, huh?

[Molly McGee]

Yes, I am.

[Fibber McGee]

Okay, you're as good as in. Where do you want to sit?

[Molly McGee]

Well, it doesn't matter. I stand up all the time anyway. I can holler. Better that way. Now, how do we get in?

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, I don't know. The details ain't important. But we'll be there. Don't worry.

[Molly McGee]

Magee, at times like this I almost admire you.

[Fibber McGee]

Well, how do you think I got where I am today if I didn't have imagination and stamina?

[Molly McGee]

I don't know. Where are you? Look, you better get busy now. The game's this afternoon, you know. Yeah, and I hope Zernicke pitches.

[Fibber McGee]

Who?

[Molly McGee]

Zernicke. You know, the southpaw that wistful Vista bought for $3,000 in a shortstop from the Akron Acme and who spent four years in the Miners trying to straighten out his fast drop. You know, Zernicke.

[Fibber McGee]

I'm afraid I haven't followed the game as close as you, Molly. This Zernicke is pretty good, eh?

[Molly McGee]

Good? Why, he's a side winding sensation, huh? He's got a curve that would fool a slow motion camera. And he steals bases like the invisible. He's 29 years old and he has a batting average of 367. Born in Janesville, Ohio, and has a small mole on his left shoulder.

[Fibber McGee]

What was his grandmother's maiden name?

[Molly McGee]

Princess Purple Prairie Dog. She was an Indian girl.

[Fibber McGee]

You seem to be kind of up on your baseball, Molly.

[Molly McGee]

I ought to be. I've been following baseball ever since I was old enough to throw a pop bott. Remember? Before we were married, dearie?

[Fibber McGee]

If that's Judge Landis wanting some information, what'll I tell him?

[Molly McGee]

Tell him he rang the right bell.

[Fibber McGee]

Okay. Come in.

[Molly McGee]

Oh, it's Mrs. Uppington. Hello, Abigail. How do you do, Mr. Magee. And Ms. McGee.

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, what's new, Mrs. Hughes? Then?

[Molly McGee]

I just stopped by to see if you could use a couple of tickets to the baseball game. I'm so busy I won't be able to go, so I thought you might use them. Heavenly days. Thank you, Abigail.

[Fibber McGee]

Yeah. What'd I tell you, Molly? There's A power that watches over me. You see, Eppie, I promised Molly I'd get her into the game today. And when you came along and give.

[Molly McGee]

Us tickets for that, well, these tickets are for Thursday's game. Mr. McGee, what power is watching over you today? Think back, mastermind.

[Fibber McGee]

I'll go under my own power today.

[Molly McGee]

Why can't you go at the game, Abigail? Oh, nice club work. You know, Mrs. McGee, we have a guest for luncheon today who is going to talk to us about China. Oh, that ought to be interesting.

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, sure. Fascinating how you gals can sit there uppie, and listen to a lot of verbal about how to faint. Forget me, not some cups and saucers when there's so much going on in the world today.

[Molly McGee]

As usual, you have taken a running jump to an incorrect conclusion. Our guest is not speaking about cups and saucers. He represents the United China Relief, for which our organization is helping to raise a very necessary seven million dollar fund. You'd better blush, Maggie.

[Fibber McGee]

I'm not sorry. Upy. Well, I've got my neck out. Would you mind looking to see if I need a haircut?

[Molly McGee]

You do? Say, what about this United China relief, Abigail? Well, Mrs. McGee, China didn't want this war any more than we did. No, it was forced upon both of us. America and China are fighting the same gangster nations for the same ideals. Peace and honor and personal freedom. But China has been fighting our side for five years and now they need help. They need $7 million urgently for civilian morale, medical and food supplies. And I think it's up to us to help by subscribing generously to the United China Relief. We owe it to them as we owe certain things to Japan. And I think they will both be paid for. Goodbye. Well, now, don't you feel just a little sheepish, dearie?

[Fibber McGee]

I sure do. If I felt any more sheepish, I'd rent myself out to jump over fences for people with insomnia. I didn't know she was doing such good work.

[Molly McGee]

Indeed she is. She's doing a lot. You know, she gives five days a week to the Red Cross, one day to canteen work, and she's bought $40,000 worth of United States War Savings Bonds.

[Fibber McGee]

I think I felt proud when I turned in that old toothpaste tube last night. Well, it just goes to show, one never can tell from where one sits how wrinkled one's pants are going to look when one stands.

[Molly McGee]

Well, McGee, where are we going to sit?

[Fibber McGee]

You sit on the davenport and I'll sit in the big chair here. I like to sit here because the Ashburn.

[Molly McGee]

No, I. I don't mean where we're going to sit here. I mean out of the ballroom.

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, oh, yes, the ballroom. Well, there's no rush. You still got two hours and we can get there in 20 minutes.

[Molly McGee]

Yeah, but it may take us an hour to find a hole in the fence.

[Fibber McGee]

What do you mean, a hole in the fence? I says I get you into the ball game. And by the 40 flutes of the Philadelphia Philharmonic, I'll get you into the ball game. Now just take it easy, Molly. I'm not.

[Molly McGee]

Come in.

[Fibber McGee]

Hello there, kid. I brought you something. Much obliged, Old Timer. But what is it? Sack of Al fa.

[Molly McGee]

Huh?

[Fibber McGee]

The Berillion's baby. They didn't think he'd want a rat or a silver cup with his missiles on it. So brung and miss.

[Molly McGee]

Well, thank you, Mr. Old Timer. This is very thoughtful of you.

[Fibber McGee]

How's the kid doing? Well, he's gonna be a fine horse when he grows up. Might make a racehorse out of him. Good for you, Johnny. Leave me alone. I'll help you train him.

[Molly McGee]

Oh, do you know something about training racehorses, Mr. Old Timer?

[Fibber McGee]

Do either of you kids. No, no. Yes, sir, I sure do. You know that all the big race horses have a mascot that lives in the stable with them? A dog or a cat or goat or rooster.

[Molly McGee]

Oh, yes, I've heard that.

[Fibber McGee]

Well, I was a mascot for a horse named Chester's Baby down in Louisville. Lived right there in the stable with him. How'd you ever get a job like that? I was just a stable boy at first, Johnny. Then the owner seen he needed a mascot. So we told the trainer, grab that old goat over there and put him in the store. Trainer was near sighted and bad knees. Natural mistake. I wanted to hear it then.

[Molly McGee]

Quite a career, Mr. Old Timer. Roommate for a racehorse, huh?

[Fibber McGee]

We were more than roommates, Cutter. We were sidekicks. He'd kick me in the back and I'd kick him in the side. Learn to eat hay, old timers.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Nope.

[Fibber McGee]

Two tickers. Eat it in a bunch and one straw at a time. Don't give enough nourishment. I'm like you, Johnny. I stick to the old corn. Well, call me if you need a good trainer.

[Molly McGee]

By the way, dearie, did you go out and feed Lillian and her baby?

[Fibber McGee]

Sure. And you know what that colt understands? Chinese.

[Molly McGee]

Go on.

[Fibber McGee]

Yeah.

[Molly McGee]

What are you talking about? That horse is as American as baked beans.

[Fibber McGee]

I don't care. He knows Chinese. I was trying to think of a good name for him. This morning. So I thought I'd try a few. And the one that got the best reaction was going to be the name.

[Molly McGee]

And what was the name?

[Fibber McGee]

Well, sir, I tried Alfred and Homer and William and Bert and Paul and Cecil and Leonard and Sidney and all stuff like that there till I was a little horse myself. And all they do is Lillian would look at the colt and the colt would look at Lillian and they'd kind of shake their heads. So I got disgusted and says ah, phooey. And they both started squealing. I tell you, that horse is Chinese.

[Molly McGee]

Well, listen, isn't getting us to the ball game. Now don't forget to promise you take. Oh, not a bit, Mr. Wilcox, not a bit.

[Fibber McGee]

No, I was just getting ready to take Molly to the ball game.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Oh, are you a fan, Molly?

[Molly McGee]

Well, yes, In a way, Mr. Wilcox.

[Fibber McGee]

In a way. Say, I'll bet she could tell you who the leading pitcher was in 1905.

[Molly McGee]

What league? American rub Wadell athletics 127, lost 10.

[Fibber McGee]

See?

[Harlow Wilcox]

Why that's wonderful, Molly. You know, I used to play a little baseball myself.

[Molly McGee]

Did you really, Ms. Wilcox? What did you bag right handed?

[Fibber McGee]

He means you're batting average, Wilcox. Even I know that.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Oh, well, I never figured it out. I pitched for the salesman's team of the Johnson Company back in Racine, Wisconsin. Been a big help to me ever since too.

[Molly McGee]

How, Mr. Wisconsin?

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, Molly, you shouldn't have asked that.

[Molly McGee]

Why not?

[Fibber McGee]

Why that's the same as giving Lillian a handful of hay to keep for you overnight. But it's too late now. Why, Mr. Wilcox, did your baseball experience help you later on?

[Harlow Wilcox]

Well, I'm still on the home team, you know. Still in there pitching, telling housewives they'll never get to first base with old fashioned methods of rubbing and scrubbing linoleum.

[Fibber McGee]

See what I meant, Molly? Yes, why?

[Harlow Wilcox]

A short stop at your dealers for a can of Johnson Self polishing glow coat will result in a home run with efficiency and economy. You can just see Pop fly home to get a look at that gorgeous kitchen floor, gleaming like a diamond. With no rubbing and no buffing. You'll get your innings with more outings because blow coat saves you so much time and energy. Pitch your old mop tail out the window, girls, and get some Johnson's blow coat right off the bat.

[Fibber McGee]

Listen to old Gabby Hartnett Wilcox. All the baseball he ever played was for a handful of salesmen.

[Molly McGee]

Didn't you ever try the big leagues, Mr. Wilcox?

[Harlow Wilcox]

Yes, once. But I quit after one season.

[Fibber McGee]

What for?

[Harlow Wilcox]

Well, the club started Playing night games. And I never was one to play around in nightclubs. Well, I'll see you later.

[Molly McGee]

Say, why didn't you ask him what he could do towards getting us into game this afternoon? McGee?

[Fibber McGee]

He hasn't got any drag except with housewives. If I wanted a piece of sponge cake or something, I'd go to him. But for ball games and stuff, we gotta contact the sporting element. Now, let me see. I think a better way for us.

[Molly McGee]

Oh, come in. Oh, hello, Mayor Latrivia.

[Fibber McGee]

Hi, Latrie. I'm glad you arrive.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Good day, Mr. McGee. Why are you glad, McGee?

[Fibber McGee]

I wanted to talk to you about the ball game. You see, that's odd.

[Harlow Wilcox]

I'm on my way out there very shortly and it's getting so much warmer, I wondered if you'd mind if I left my top coat here. I don't like to leave it in my car.

[Molly McGee]

Oh, of course. Mr. Mayor, are you a baseball fan?

[Harlow Wilcox]

Oh, not much, I'm afraid. The last game I saw in Chicago in about 1919. I remember that because it was my birthday. June 17th.

[Molly McGee]

Ah, June 17th, 1919. Then you saw Frankie Frisky.

[Harlow Wilcox]

I did?

[Molly McGee]

Of course you did. That was his first major league game. McGraw sent him in in the ninth inning to bat for Hal Chase against Grover Cleveland. Alexander Paxton was playing center field for Chicago.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Good heavens, woman. How do you remember all that?

[Molly McGee]

Why, everybody knows that.

[Fibber McGee]

Ain't she wonderful at trivia? Who won the World Series in 1912? Molly?

[Molly McGee]

Boston. Boston, four games, New York, three games, one tie game.

[Fibber McGee]

It's amazing.

[Molly McGee]

It's no such a thing, really. I just take an interest in the game at all.

[Fibber McGee]

Didn't you ever play baseball in college? You, Phil?

[Harlow Wilcox]

No, I was more inclined toward mental work.

[Fibber McGee]

Indeed.

[Harlow Wilcox]

You see, I specialized in lit.

[Molly McGee]

In what?

[Fibber McGee]

Lit. You were all the time.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Were what?

[Molly McGee]

Lit.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Of course not. Lit is merely the abbreviation for literature.

[Fibber McGee]

Just the same, I should think you'd have to have a clear head for that kind of work.

[Harlow Wilcox]

I did. Did?

[Molly McGee]

Well, how could you? Lit all the time.

[Harlow Wilcox]

I was not lit all the time. I was a very.

[Fibber McGee]

Well, I should think you would be with all those professors around. Catch on.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Catch on for what?

[Molly McGee]

You know, you being lit.

[Harlow Wilcox]

I tell you that lit stands for literature.

[Fibber McGee]

Yes, but the literary dice stands for you being lit. Can't you get it through your head, McGees?

[Harlow Wilcox]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

[Molly McGee]

What was that for?

[Harlow Wilcox]

I promised myself next time we got into one of these things, I told myself I would not give way to anger. Besides, I have a mission to perform this afternoon, I wish to present as cheerful a face as public. To the public, I mean, I wish to present.

[Molly McGee]

What's the mission, Mr. Mayor?

[Harlow Wilcox]

As mayor, I have to throw out the first ball.

[Fibber McGee]

I thought you never played baseball.

[Harlow Wilcox]

That's correct. I never did.

[Molly McGee]

Do you know how to throw, Mr. Lacrivia?

[Harlow Wilcox]

Oh, I fancy I shall make out all right, Mrs. McGee. One just raises one's arm like this and.

[Fibber McGee]

No, no, no, no. Look at Latria stand sideways like this. Then wind up a little. Hey, wait a minute, McGee.

[Molly McGee]

Where are you going?

[Fibber McGee]

I'm going to find my baseball and catcher's mitt. Then I'm going to take La Trivia out in the backyard and show him how to toss the baseball. I ain't gon our mayor disgrace himself out there at the ballpark.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Oh, really, m I. Well, this is very decent of you, I'm sure.

[Molly McGee]

Not at all, not at all. We owe it to wistful visit. Did you find your ball, dearie?

[Fibber McGee]

No, but I think I know right where it is.

[Molly McGee]

Where?

[Fibber McGee]

Right here in the hall closet.

[Molly McGee]

Ah, my, my. Don't things accumulate f.

[Harlow Wilcox]

The king's men and blues in the night.

[Fibber McGee]

My mammy done told me when I was in knee pants My mammy done told me.

[Harlow Wilcox]

The fake eyes but when that sweet.

[Fibber McGee]

Talk is a woman's a too faced a worrisome thing Will leave you to.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Sing the blues, blues, blues in my.

[Fibber McGee]

Mind now the rain is falling Hear.

[Harlow Wilcox]

The train are calling Hooey, hooey, hooey.

[Fibber McGee]

Hear the lonesome whistle Slow and cross.

[Harlow Wilcox]

The trestle Hooey, hooey, hooey a hooey.

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, clickety clack is echoing back the blues blues in the night crying.

[Molly McGee]

From.

[Harlow Wilcox]

That to Mobile From Memphis to St. Joe Wherever the four winds may blow I've been to some big cows and heard me some big fox he said but there is one thing I know.

[Fibber McGee]

A woman, a two face A worrisome.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Thing Will leave you to sing the blues in the night My mammy don't call me for and brother, I tell you so help me, I got the.

[Fibber McGee]

Okay, Laus, you're catching on pretty good. Now throw me a fast one.

[Harlow Wilcox]

All right, McGee, here's coming.

[Fibber McGee]

Half better? Much better. How's he doing, Molly?

[Molly McGee]

I don't know why you're keeping him out of duty. He does all right. And the poor man's retard. He can hardly stand up.

[Fibber McGee]

Ah, it's good.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Thanks.

[Fibber McGee]

How you feeling, Latrivia?

[Harlow Wilcox]

Pretty tired. Me? Haven't you got another catch? Admit I fall pretty hard. My hand's getting blistered. Not too close.

[Fibber McGee]

Gee, I'm sorry, latruvia. This is the only mitt I got. Anyway, a politician who can't close his hand might be a very good thing. All right, let's try it again.

[Molly McGee]

Here she come, McGee. Now, you can throw better than that. You didn't come anywhere near him. He's had to shag every one of those throws.

[Fibber McGee]

I know, I know. I'm limbering him up.

[Molly McGee]

Yeah. Oh, don't, McGee. There's Uncle Dennis upstairs in the window. He's been watching you in the Mayor.

[Fibber McGee]

Yeah, look at him licking his chalk.

[Molly McGee]

What's that for?

[Fibber McGee]

Those last three latri toss were highball. Okay, let me have another one now. And remember what I've been telling you. Wind up like this. Yeah. Only don't raise your hand like you were going to slap somebody's sassy face. Swing your arm out more to the side.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Very well, McGee. I'm getting very tired.

[Molly McGee]

Oh, come on now, Mr. Mayor. Right over the plate.

[Harlow Wilcox]

What plate?

[Fibber McGee]

Never mind, never mind. Just throw it, Latrivia, and remember the instructions. Wind up. Throw your left leg up for balance, bring your arm way back, and then kind of push the ball at me. That is. Ah, that's much better, Latrivia. Much better. You can put your left leg down again now.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Thank you.

[Fibber McGee]

Here it comes.

[Molly McGee]

See, the guess is pretty good in me, considering he does it with his eye shut.

[Fibber McGee]

Now, I ain't through it in it. Okay, look at this. Ready?

[Harlow Wilcox]

I'd like to rest.

[Fibber McGee]

No, no, no. Keep swinging that arm. You don't want to get cooled off. Come on now, try it again.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Well, you ready, Magee?

[Fibber McGee]

Shoot the spear to me, dear.

[Molly McGee]

Now, that was very good.

[Harlow Wilcox]

It was really.

[Fibber McGee]

Yes, it was a trivia. I only had to run 7 or 8ft for that one. At least you'll be able to keep the ball in the ballpark. Now, let's try it another 15 or 20 minutes and then I can see you.

[Molly McGee]

Look, m'sie.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Huh?

[Molly McGee]

Here comes Mr. Wimple. Maybe you better rest a few minutes, Mr. Mayor.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Oh, thanks. You. Good heavens, I hadn't realized that baseball was such a strenuous game. I'm just about. Oh. Oh, hello, Miss Whipple.

[Molly McGee]

Hello, F. Good afternoon, Mr. Whipple.

[Fibber McGee]

Want to play a little ball with us for a while? Win? Oh, no, thank you. I really had all the baseball I wanted yesterday. Huey Face's brother was over at our house and they were playing catch with you.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Oh, did you use a hard ball.

[Fibber McGee]

Like this one they didn't use the bar. They were paying captive me.

[Molly McGee]

Heavenly days. That must have been fairly rough, Mr. Wimple.

[Fibber McGee]

I didn't mind, Mrs. Mc, but when Cyrus. That Sweetie face is brown. When Cyrus suggested that she get a bat and knock a few flies to sweetie Face, the cat, I just ran.

[Molly McGee]

Like to bit him.

[Fibber McGee]

You ever meet sweetie Face for c.

[Harlow Wilcox]

No, I don't believe I ever have.

[Molly McGee]

I don't believe she goes out much, does she, Mr. Wimple?

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, yes, quite a bit. The fact cutie face loves to get.

[Molly McGee]

Out and mangle with people.

[Fibber McGee]

You mean mingle. Oh, I do, do I.

[Harlow Wilcox]

This wife of yours must be quite a character, Mr. Wimble.

[Molly McGee]

She really is, Mr. Mayor.

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, now, let's not all talk about her like that. Kids are so bad. She really feels terrible after she treats me badly. She does? Oh, yes, indeed. Why, just this morning she was down on her knees to me, just begging.

[Molly McGee]

Oh, not really.

[Fibber McGee]

Really, Mrs. Magee. Down on her knees with a flat iron just begging him to come out.

[Molly McGee]

From under the house. I won't interrupt you any longer.

[Fibber McGee]

I have to be getting down to jail.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Jail?

[Fibber McGee]

What you going to jail for, wimp? I'm going to be locked up. I called him and told him I was coming.

[Molly McGee]

Oh, but what on earth did you do?

[Fibber McGee]

I just like she was face with a baseball bat.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Good heavens, ma'am, did you hurt her?

[Fibber McGee]

No. That's why I want to be locked up.

[Molly McGee]

Well, shall we go on with the lessons, Mr. Latria?

[Harlow Wilcox]

I. I'd rather not, if you don't mind, though. I really do appreciate this, Mickey. It was very sporting of you.

[Molly McGee]

Oh, not at all, Mr. Mayor. Here, now, here's your to.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Oh, thank you.

[Fibber McGee]

What's the matter, Lat?

[Harlow Wilcox]

I can't raise it up.

[Molly McGee]

Oh, it's just a little stiff, Mr. Mayor. Try again. Here, I'll hold the sleeve of your coat for you. Now.

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, no, no, no, no.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Show you. I can't lift that. Harmony the.

[Fibber McGee]

Huh.

[Harlow Wilcox]

I can't go. I'm too lame. I'm tore all over my arm, my leg. I've got to get to a doctor. Will you do something for me?

[Molly McGee]

What is it, Mr. Mayor?

[Fibber McGee]

Why, just name it, Latrivia. I'll do anything on account of I feel kind of responsible for this.

[Harlow Wilcox]

I hate to ask you to do this. Will you represent me at the game today and throw out the first ball?

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, now, gee whiz. Just because I'm president the Chamber of commerce. Well, all right, I'll do it. You got a pass to the ballpark or something?

[Harlow Wilcox]

Yes, yes, it's right here in my. You get it?

[Fibber McGee]

I already got La Tria and it's for a whole box. I see. So I'll take my.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Take her, take anybody. Now, help me out in my car, will you? I don't believe I can more than that.

[Fibber McGee]

I'm sorry, Mr. Be. I ain't got time now. Just got time to get out to the ballpark.

[Molly McGee]

Now, come on, Molly, let's hurry. But McGee. Poor Mayor Latri is no go.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Go on, Mrs. McGee. I'll be all right.

[Fibber McGee]

Yeah, come on, Molly.

[Molly McGee]

Mr. McGee, you wanted to get out.

[Fibber McGee]

To the ball game, didn't you? I told you I'd get you in, didn't I? Well, come on. Go on with trivia.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Take it easy. O. Last time you were in the kitchen, did you happen to notice the floor? Was it clean and sparkling and cheerful, or was it a little on the dull and gloomy side? You know, it's so easy to take care of your linoleum floors with Johnson Self Polishing blow coat. It's as simple as this. Just apply and let dry. Flow coat polishes itself while it's drying without any rubbing or buffing. And did you know that linoleum protective regularly was Locoat will last five to 10 times longer than if it's unprotected. With all of us looking for opportunities to save and ways to take better care of our things, it's good judgment to protect all linoleum surfaces with Johnson Self Polishing Gloat. Be sure to get the original and genuine gloat.

[Molly McGee]

Take it easy, Jeronicky.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Wait for a good one.

[Fibber McGee]

Win your own game. You enjoying the game, Molly?

[Molly McGee]

Oh, I certainly am, McGee. But you know, I keep worrying about Mayor Latrian.

[Fibber McGee]

Ah, he's all right.

[Molly McGee]

I know now why you spent all that time teaching him how to throw a ball underhanded.

[Fibber McGee]

Overhand.

[Molly McGee]

It was underhanded.

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, I see what you mean.

[Molly McGee]

Well, I thought you would because here it comes.

[Fibber McGee]

Marty. He thram it out of the park. Good night.

[Molly McGee]

Good night, all.

[Harlow Wilcox]

This is Harlow Wilcox speaking for the makers of Johnson Wax finishes for the home and industry, inviting you all to join us again next Tuesday night.

[Fibber McGee]

Good night.

[Harlow Wilcox]

This program came to you from Hollywood. This is the National Broadcasting Company.

[Fibber McGee]

This is Chicago wmaq.