
Fibber McGee And Molly 35-08-26 (0020) The McGee's Win 79 Wistful Vista
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A
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B
This is wenr, the voice of service in Chicago. This time, WENR leaves the air in favor of wls.
C
Good evening, friends.
B
You are now listening to wls, the voice of Prairie Farmer, America's oldest farmer in Chicago. The makers of Johnson's Wax bring you more musical moments of unmitigated merriment with Rico Marcelli's orchestra. Ronald Manfield, Charlie Wilson, the Johnson Merry Men, and Marian and Jim as those gay and garrulous gders, those gasoline gondoliers, fiber McGee and Molly. Martelli and his men leave their broadcasting for forecasting. And they find it's going to get hotter with shifting woodwinds and a rain of rhythm in the weatherman. Wrap it up, Rico. In the midst of this sparkling music, let me remind you that now is the time to wax your car. Your family, your friends will be proud to ride with you. When your car sparkles and gleams with a Johnson Wax polish, ask your dealer for Johnson's Auto Wax and Cleaner. You'll receive a can of fine quality black Touchup Enamel absolutely free. When you make your purchase, don't delay another day. Wax your car the Johnson way.
D
Where the man Once the skies were blue now he stays Holy gray Won't you put your cloth away? I can't endure the temperature Square the man I depend on you in my heart and the field where there used to be a thrill I need my G. You and the Growing I can't.
B
Give her my hearts are growing down.
D
To the river tonight is storming there's.
E
Nothing for me, you know my chair off.
D
My weather is long overdue. Weather man, see what you can do. Take a run, take a dime, find my gallon, make a m. Or change your plan, you know you can, you weather glass.
B
Remember what the poet sang? A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and. Well, that's Bibber Magee and Molly. Two loafers, bread, a jug of the motor and thousands of miles behind them, they come in sight of a new real estate development.
F
Look Magee, it's a carnival. Let's stop.
C
Oh, shuck, Molly, we ain't got time to go messing around those dread ratted carnivals. Besides, it ain't a carnival.
F
Well then what is it? Look at the people and the flags and all.
C
I don't know. What's the flag say on them?
F
Well, slow down so's I can read them, ignorant.
C
Okay. What's the sign say, Molly? I can't read them and drive too.
F
Oh, must be a new subdivision, McGee. It says Wishful Vista Home Site a dollar down. Buy a lot for a little lot of horse. Build a home for the landsafe.
C
Phooey. From me to them, the realest real.
F
Estate you ever bought.
C
Oh shucks. We don't want to stop and listen to a lot of high pressure salesmanship.
F
Look McGee, that sign where Barbecue sandwiches and coffee free.
C
Gotta get them brakes thick.
F
You needn't have stopped so sudden. You near broke me neck.
C
I know. I just happen to think every American citizen ought to be interested in the home building. Molly, it's the backbone of our.
F
Ah, go on with you, McGee. Tis your wishbone you're talking about. You're wishing for a free sandwich.
C
Oh, shut. Hello, Hello?
D
Hello.
F
Is one hello too many, mister? There's only two of us.
D
So I see. Yes, so I see. Two of the very type of citizen we want to see settle down on a little nest on this beautiful development. Folks, here's where you get a lot for a little a home for half and contentment on every dotted line.
C
Yes sir, folks, what is this place now?
D
This place, madam, why this is none other than that beautiful landscape, Hagelmire's wistful vista subdivision. Wired for light, height, for gas, paved for pavements, ditches, for sewers, and for only the small sum.
C
Where do you get them free sandwiches, brother?
F
And coffee?
D
Right over there, sir, at the barbecue bed. But before you avail yourself of Hagelmeer's whistle vista hospitality Let me give you a short summary of our proposition. Here we have probably the finest, the most economical.
C
Come on, Molly, get out. I don't know why we can't get a mouthful and ear full at the same time. Where did you say this here free barbecue pit was, brother?
D
Well, I must inform you that that word free is conditional.
F
And what do you mean, conditional? Free is free.
D
Oh, yes, indeed. Yes, indeed. Free without the slightest reservations to those who hold tickets for the grand drawing.
F
Grand what?
C
What you mean tickets for the grand drawing?
D
Do you mean to say that you've come within 10,000 miles of Hagelmeier's blissful visitor without learning from every man, woman and child the sensational details of our sales stimulant?
B
Oh, sure.
D
Why, sir and madam, here is opportunity itself, knocking me pondering at your door.
C
That's all I want is opportunity to sink my teeth into a bag of.
D
The paltry sum of only 2 dol. You buy a ticket which may bring you shelter in your declining days. A haven from the storms of the future. The dream of every solid citizen of this great commonwealth.
F
Oh, you mean you're selling chances onto a house?
D
A house?
F
A house?
D
Did you say a house, madam?
F
Certainly.
D
I said this is the house. A house of your dreams, madam. A cove of contentment. The realization of a lifetime's yearning. The answer to a woman's prayer. Look there. Where?
F
Where?
B
There.
D
Oh, direct your gaze at that fine covered cottage. That marvelous modern example of the architect's art. The home of your heart's desire. Right over there.
F
Oh, the house. Well, it is real pretty, isn't it, Magee?
C
Oh, it's okay. Now, where did you say this here barbecue?
F
Oh, McGee, you gotta have a ticket. The man says there's only $2 and you have a chance to win that house in lot too. Am I right, mister?
D
The miserable truth for the miserable sum of two dollars.
C
What N. Tucket's so miserable about two bucks? That'll probably 20 sandwiches. And let me tell you, brother, a hamburger in the hand is worth a house in the hat any day. Come on, Molly, we better get back to you.
F
Wait now, McGee, wait. Buy me a ticket.
C
Buy you a what? Was that my.
F
You heard me, Magee. Buy me a ticket. Well, you mean spend $2, McGee, I'm starved.
C
Say, brother, how many sandwiches are you entitled to when you got a ticket?
D
Oh, there's no limit, sir. It's merely a gesture of hospitality on the part of the Hagelmire Whistle Vista Development Company. We feel that a well fed customer is A better prospect.
F
You mean you can eat as much as you want?
D
Yes.
C
Now give me a ticket.
E
There you are, sir.
D
And as a friend to friend, I may say that you've never made a more intelligent purchase. It is.
C
You mean. As one real estate man to another.
F
Oh, now, McGee, give the nannies two dollars and let's be eaten.
C
Here's your two bucks, buddy.
A
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G
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C
As I was saying, I used to dabble, Mike, in real estate myself. Tropical real estate.
B
Oh, really?
C
No. O'Reilly.
D
O'Reilly.
C
O'REILLY and McGee departs payment. Promoted to Panama. Used to sell banana plantations mostly. Some pineapple farms and rubber timber, but mostly bananas. Still, you should ought to seen the work we've done on the pineapple plantations.
D
But if you'll excuse me.
C
You ain't crying into my business a bit, brother? Always glad to hear my experience with another real estate man. As I was saying, you should have seen the O'Reilly and McGee part. Payment promotion of pineapple plantation.
F
Oh, now, McGee, the man wants to.
C
Hear about how I done her. I know. Yes. You see, brother, I was probably the leading banana land promoter in Panama at the time. Banana oil? Banana oil? No, banana land. I had me the biggest plantation of bananas onto the island of Pago Pago. Why, even the hurricane of 1908 never fazed me. Even though the lightning bust every banana tree I owned right down the middle of the trunk.
D
Lightning struck every banana tree.
C
Lightning down the middle. But it never disturbs me none. I just took one look at them trees, ordered a herd of Jersey cow shipped in and set up an ice cream plant. What for? Banana split for the export trade.
F
Come on.
B
Mad with Martelli and his men confessing to a starlight superstition. I wished on the moon. And I might say right here that if you ever wished on the moon or just wish that your car could keep that brilliant factory finish, Johnson's Auto Wack will keep it that way. Now just a minute, Fiber. My name is Harlo, once and for all.
C
Okay, that's once for you and for all of me it's still Harbo. I ever tell you about the time I had me at the bee farm.
F
Down in Turkey Run, Indiana?
B
Oh, an apiary, I says.
C
Bees, not monkeys. Well, sir, one day in 1906 or no, oh, seven it was.
B
I. I'm sorry, Fipper, but my time is.
C
I know. Your time is my time. As I was saying, I drove into my bee farm one day and started giving the car a Johnson wax. And I happened to lay the can of wax down by one of my hives.
B
Oh, you had the hive.
C
No, my bees had the hive. I had the bees. But I lazed me the can of Johnson flax down by one of the hives. And all of a sudden I see Hortense. Hortense, she was a queen bee from Hamp's Mother Honey Farm next door. I see Hortense looking down into that can of wax, real curious. Then she give a kind of an angry buzz and flew away home. The next thing I knew, there she was back again with the whole swarm of bees from the Hamp Smother Honey Farm.
B
Ah, she went and got her gang.
C
Yep. And when the buzzing had died down a mite, I could hear her say to them other bees, she says, sitting on the edge of the can at Johnson's Auto act, she says, listen, you mugs. She buzzes. Get a load of the work that's being done over here. Look at that wax. That there is wax, as is wax. Now go on home and see what you can do.
D
Oh, no.
F
Will you let Mr. Wilcox get on with the horse?
C
Okay, okay. I was just giving Harpo here a nature lesson. But he ain't got the intelligence to grasp my stuff.
B
Well, we don't know about these, but here's a tip. That's a honey. Now is the time to wax your car. Don't drive around another D in a dirty, dull, faded looking car. It gives everybody a very Poor impression of you. And it's so easy to take away all that unattractive dirty film. Give your car cleaning polish that shines like new. It's easy, that is, if you use Johnson's Auto Wax and Cleaner. These two products are regular miracle workers. They transform your car right before your eyes. With Johnson's Auto Wax and Cleaner, the work is done in about half the usual time. You'll be proud of your car when you see all the sparkle come back the finish. It will look like it did when you first drove it out of the showroom. So go to your dealer at once and ask for Johnson's Auto Wax and Cleaner. Let me assure you that Johnson's Auto Cleaner contains no harsh abrasive. It does a miraculous cleaning job, and it positively does not harm the finish. Insist on Johnson's Auto Wax and Cleaner and save the finish on your car. And now the show stands still for Ronnie Mansell, our handsome Irish tenor who stands pat at the mic to sing. And then my heart stood still.
E
I took one look at you that's all I meant to do and in my heart. My feet were stepped and walk My lips could move and talk and yet my heart stood still Though not a single word was spoken I could tell you knew that unfelt clasp of hand hold me so well, you knew I never lived at all until the thrill of that moment when my heart j. Though not a single word was spoken I could tell you knew that unfelt clasp of hand told me so well, you knew I never lived at all until the thrill of that moment when my heart turned it in.
B
Now back to the Whisper Vista real estate development amid the banners and bunting, barbecues and baloney where Fibber and Molly are getting their $2 worth of sandwiches and coffee at the expense of Mr. Hagelmeier.
F
Well, McGee, if you're able to walk, let's be going.
C
Oh, shuck, smiley. You might let a feller finish his sandwich.
F
His sandwich? Go on with you, McGee. You've had so much beef, I'll have to ride hurt on you for the.
C
Next two weeks, Jess. You've done all right yourself, Molly.
F
I know. I ate my dollar's worth in chickenilly alone. Tear up your ticket and let's go.
C
Hey, now wait a minute, Molly. Chucks. I paid $2 for that there ticket.
F
$4 worth of sandwiches and coffee. You don't think you'll win a house in lots, do you?
C
Well, you never know, Molly.
F
Look at the number on that ticket, McGee.
C
Where?
F
Right on the corner there.
C
Read it 131,300. Well, what about it?
F
What about it? And do you think you would win an on number 13? 1313. Here's three strikes on you, McEv.
C
Chuck that don't me.
G
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A
Nothing.
C
Molly, add it up. 1 and 3 is 4 and 4 is 8 and 4 is 12. 12 is a lucky number according to numberology. Even dozens.
E
Sure.
F
And even dozens. That doesn't mean anything. Oh, it's a nice little house, but you got no more chance of winning us than making a fortune on.
C
On.
F
On spaghetti in Ethiopia.
C
Oh, well, you have to admit.
D
Oh, there, my friend.
C
Oh, dear.
D
I hope you've enjoyed the hospitality of Hagelmeyer Whistleblower.
F
Oh, sure, they was real nice barbecues, mister, but we got to be on our way.
D
No, no, no, no, madam. You cannot afford to pass up the homemaking opportunity of a lifetime play when you consider what Hagelmeier's wistful vista offers you in the way.
C
You got any soda tablets on you, bud?
D
No, sir, I'm afraid not. Oh, you will.
F
This is barbecued beef stampeding, Mr.
D
Shuttle.
F
Come on, McGee.
C
Okay. Glad to have met you, brother.
D
But wait. You haven't heard the real truth story. The romance behind the founding of Hagelmer's Whistleblower. We are building a community, sir. We are interested in laying the very cornerstones of civic development. We want to see homes and more homes with healthy, happy citizens. Little kiddies going to school smoked from 100 contested chimneys, even at a sacrifice.
F
Sacrifice?
G
Ah, yes.
D
What is a monetary law when you.
F
Can sell 131,313 tickets for $2 a piece, making $262,626 for a house that couldn't have cost more than 4,000 to put up. Answer me that, Mr. Sacrapy.
D
Well, I'm afraid, madam, that. Oh, here is Mr. Hagelmeier himself. Mr. Hagelmeier, these good people appear a bit skeptical of the sincerity of our wisdom. I want you to meet Mr. Hag, folks. Mr. Hag, this is Mr. And Mrs.
C
Mr. And Mrs. McGee.
G
What?
F
Nothing. I was just telling Mr. Haggle Snuffer the name Hagelmire.
D
Madam, Mr. Hagelmeier will tell you all the advantages and opportunities embraced in the purchase and ownership of a little home in Hagelmeyer's Whiskey Vista. And the drawing of the lucky number will be held in just a few moments. Now Mr. Haggle Meer will be more than.
F
My, my, Mr. Haggletoper. Do all these people pay $2 for a few barbecues and coffee and Valley.
B
Ho E. Do you mean to say. That is to remark. Never, never let it be said. Well, Herman Hagglemeyer ever. Well, what do you think?
C
You know what I think, Haggie? I think that this here is a big gift. I think what we ought to do is.
D
Get out.
F
What?
B
What you mean to say there and stand. I mean to stand there and accuse. Why, whoever. But did you ever stop to think that a man's best friend is. Well, what is mother without a home? I mean, what is home without a bar or a sink? I mean some place where a man. You get the idea. Just two little bums or birds in a gilded cooch or cage. Think of it, my friend. A little cottage with a big cheese. I mean cottage cheese. Or no, no, a million times no. Or shall we say maybe?
F
Maybe. What is this man talking about?
C
Sounds like he got the needle in the wrong groove.
E
Oh, what a beautiful thought.
B
Just give a little thought. But think of the twilight. A little home in the sticks or rhubarb suburb covered with mortgages or ivy, poison ivy or no, no, that's the medal. And a cheerful fire, no insurance. I mean a fire in the fireplace, a scuttle, a kettle singing on a stove or home on the range. And a little wire haired wife. Or I mean a beautiful young pup and the kitties. Ah, two charming little golden haired brat. What a beautiful puncture. A picture. Who says that Hagome builds bum bungalows or bin bungalow or bungalow, frame house or stucco, sir, I'll stalk the stick on my friends.
C
I mean, am I hearing right, Molly? Or maybe I ate one sandwich too many.
F
Oh, look Mickey, the crowd's going over there for the rattle. Come on, let's see who won.
C
Okay, Molly. Probably be the cousin of Hagelmeire.
G
Here.
B
Sir, you are either injector injecting.
D
Well, look.
B
Think of owning A Tootle title 3 A Little Love News er fig news er Love nest. And remember that old limerick or wise poem. Let me live in the road by the side of. Let me carouse by the side of under the village Oaksmith, the blackface skipper.
E
All I can say is that when.
B
You build with Hagelmeyer, you'll always regret. I mean, it will never be. You can depend on why there not the slightest foundation.
F
That's just what I thought. Come on, Mikita, draw numbers. We'll see you later, Mr. Heagle. Potter?
E
Certainly not. I mean, yes indeed.
B
You can never depend on Hagelmar. You can always get what you want.
C
Find out what that there fell houses like he talks. You could park your car in the attic and shingle the cellar.
F
Oh, be quiet, McGee. They're making an announcement.
D
Ladies and gentlemen, the grand drawing is about the to take place. Have your tickets ready. The lucky winner will receive absolutely without cost or expense of any kind, free and clear title to the beautiful little home you see to my right. To those who do not win, we offer special bargains in home site homes designed and built on the beautiful Hagelmire Wistful Vista. Just a minute now. While the charming Miss Susie Glock who was elected Miss Wistful Vista of 191335 draws the lucky number.
F
Oh, dear, enough. Holding on to ticket number 13. 1313.
C
Go ahead, Molly. I want to see if old Hagelmeyer wins it himself.
D
Ladies and gentlemen, your kind attention please. The lucky number has been drawn. The number that wins this beautiful example of the home builder's genius is none other than 1028. 1028. Will the lucky winner please step right up the platform here.
F
Well, McGee, at least we had our barbecues and coffee.
C
Shucks, the roof probably leaks anyway.
D
What?
F
Tear up the ticket, McGee. 113 is bad enough for three.
D
Attention, please. Let it start.
C
Hey, wait a minute, Molly. Maybe we got pie coming.
D
Correction here. A correction, ladies and gentlemen. Number 1028 was not eligible for the prize as it had been turned in and the money refunded. Another number has been drawn. It is number 131,313. McGee. McGee. Is it here?
F
It's our number, McGee.
D
It's our number. We. McGee.
F
What's the matter with you, McGee? Hand somebody. He's thanking.
D
It, Baby. Summer, autumn, winter, spring. Baby, you're my silver lining. You're my sky of blue. There's a lovely shining just because of you. Oh, see, I think baby, you I got that. Certain things, baby shinings are an inspiration worthy of my being made to talk.
B
A few moments ago I told you how easy it is to make your car sparkle like new again with Johnson's Auto Cleaner. Now it's very important to protect that gleaming finish so it will stay shining. And it's very important that you use Johnston's Auto Wax in order to give your car the surest protection against sun, rain and road film. With a gleaming coat of Johnson's Wax on your car, whether new or old, it will resist dust and dirt. Car washings will be cut down after your car is Johnson Wax. The polish wears like iron, keeps your car in such beautiful condition that you will get much more money for it at the time of resale. So go to your dealer right away. Order Johnson's Auto Wax and Cleaner at the special price of 98 cents for the two. Your dealer will give you a can of fine quality black touch up enamel free with your purchase. If you prefer, your garage or service station will wax your car for you. But don't delay another day. Wax your car the Johnson way. And so there you are until next Monday night at this same hour on NBC. Remember, NBC NB sure to specify the genuine Johnson's Auto Wax and Cleaner. NB safe. Oh, and nb, this is Harlow Wilcox speaking. Good night. The selection I wish on the moon is from the big broadcast of 1936 of the icing from the show of the same name. This program came to you from our Chicago studios. This is the National Broadcasting Company.
Podcast: Harold’s Old Time Radio
Episode Release: January 22, 2026
This episode of Harold’s Old Time Radio transports listeners to the golden age of radio comedy with a classic installment of "Fibber McGee and Molly." The McGees stumble upon a real estate promotion in Wistful Vista, lured by the promise of free sandwiches and the chance to win a modern dream house for the price of a raffle ticket. The episode spins a vibrant web of witty banter, Americana, and clever skepticism about salesmanship and homeownership, wrapped in the warmth of Vaudeville humor and lively musical interludes.
| Timestamp | Quote & Context | |-----------|----------------| | 06:16 | F (Molly): "Ah, go on with you, McGee. Tis your wishbone you’re talking about. You’re wishing for a free sandwich." | | 08:50 | C (McGee): "A hamburger in the hand is worth a house in the hat any day." | | 11:52 | C (McGee): "Lightning down the middle. But it never disturbs me none...Banana split for the export trade." | | 15:09 | C: "I ever tell you about the time I had me at the bee farm?" | | 21:18 | F: "And do you think you would win on number 13? 1313. Here’s three strikes on you, McEv." | | 22:54 | D: "You cannot afford to pass up the homemaking opportunity of a lifetime..." (Sales pitch satire) | | 25:41 | F: "Maybe. What is this man talking about?" | | 25:42 | C: "Sounds like he got the needle in the wrong groove." | | 27:35 | C: "Find out what that there fell houses like he talks. You could park your car in the attic and shingle the cellar." | | 29:19–29:22 | F & D: "It's our number, McGee." / "It's our number. We… McGee." (Realization of their win) |
This episode is a laugh-filled slice of vintage Americana, bustling with clever wordplay, musical interludes, and tongue-in-cheek social commentary. The McGees—a lovable, endlessly bickering couple—find themselves tangled in the earnest absurdity of a real estate raffle, mostly after the free food but, against all odds, emerge as the lucky winners. The sales bluster, running gags, and zany monologues deliver both nostalgia and timeless comedy, while side characters and sponsors flesh out a vivid tableau of 1930s radio entertainment.
Recommended for:
Fans of old-time radio, classic American comedy, or anyone looking for a charming, gently satirical take on dreams, schemes, and a good plate of barbecue.