Fibber McGee And Molly 35-12-02 (0034) Man On The Street Radio Interview

Summary

Podcast Summary: Fibber McGee And Molly 35-12-02 (0034) Man On The Street Radio Interview

Podcast Information:

• Title: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Host/Author: Harolds Old Time Radio
• Description: Radio shows from the Golden Age of Radio. The time before television when families gathered around the radio to enjoy popular shows like The Shadow, Abbott & Costello, Amos & Andy, Dragnet, and many more.
• Episode: Fibber McGee And Molly 35-12-02 (0034) Man On The Street Radio Interview
• Release Date: July 13, 2025

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Introduction

The episode begins with the signature opening by Harlow Wilcox announcing the show on WLS, the Voice of Prairie Farmer Chicago. The introduction sets the stage for a lively evening featuring the beloved comedic duo, Fibber McGee and Molly, who engage with the community through street interviews.

Notable Quote:

• [00:00] Harlow Wilcox: "Good evening, everyone. You're now listening to WLS, the voice of prairie farmer Chicago, the Johnson Wax Program."

Setting the Scene

Fibber McGee and Molly take their broadcast to the bustling intersection of 14th and Oak streets in Whistle Vista. Their aim is to capture the voices and stories of everyday citizens, bringing a slice of community life to their radio audience.

Notable Quote:

• [00:00] Harlow Wilcox: "Bibber McGee and Molly are playing a return engagement for the wistful Vista radio station. And they're taking a microphone down on the street to interview the passersby."

Interaction with Sylvius Watson

The first interviewee, Sylvius Watson, adds a humorous touch to the show. Sylvius, portrayed as a lovable, somewhat befuddled character, engages in a playful exchange about his father's unemployment and his own responsibilities.

Notable Quotes:

• [05:08] Sylvius Watson: "I just help my old man."
• [06:15] Molly McGee: "What does he do, boy? Who? Your old man. Your father."
• [06:34] Sylvius Watson: "Yes, I should say so. If y' all don't mind, I gotta take this here package over to City hall."

Encounter with Officer Slattery

The dynamic shifts when Officer Slattery enters the scene, providing a blend of authority and humor. Fibber and Molly attempt to engage him in their interviews, leading to a comedic back-and-forth that highlights the everyday challenges and absurdities faced by law enforcement.

Notable Quotes:

• [08:20] Officer Slattery: "On the radio? You mean this is Officer Slattery speaking, showing you what it would be like if every man in the department wasn't on the job every minute of the day."
• [09:18] Officer Slattery: "Sure I would that. Anything to help out. Go ahead."
• [09:24] Molly McGee: "Do you think you'll ever amount to anything?"
• [18:11] Molly McGee: "Can'T think of nothing. Well, that was silly."

Promotional Segment with Harlow Wilcox

Amidst the interviews, Harlow Wilcox makes a seamless transition into a promotional segment for Johnson's Glo Coat. This advertisement fits naturally into the broadcast, demonstrating the early integration of sponsorships in radio programming.

Notable Quotes:

• [02:00] Harlow Wilcox: "If you want to have an attractive home, you must first of all look to your floor. And please keep in mind that Johnson's Glo coat will give your floors and linoleum a beautiful gleaming polish in a few minutes time without any work of rubbing or buffing."
• [25:29] Harlow Wilcox: "Heck, there'll be a lot of wear and tear on floors during the holiday season. You certainly won't want to spend much time cleaning them when there are so many pleasanter things to do."

Interaction with Foreign Guest, Harlow Wilcox

The episode introduces a foreign character, Harlow Wilcox, who engages in a light-hearted exchange, showcasing the show's inclusive and diverse nature. Harlow participates in the interviews while seamlessly integrating promotional content.

Notable Quotes:

• [10:24] Molly McGee: "We're interviewing folks for the radio station. Bud, you speak English?"
• [12:42] Harlow Wilcox: "He said that there's an easier, better way to keep your pores and linoleum sparkling and clean."

Child Interview with Kay Donner

Kay Donner, a child character, brings youthful energy and innocence to the broadcast. Her playful responses and imaginative thoughts on Santa Claus add a charming and whimsical element to the show.

Notable Quotes:

• [19:14] Kay Donner: "I couldn't tell. It didn't have any feathers on."
• [19:32] Kay Donner: "I saw all the Santa Claus at Wagner store. And the Santa Claus at Jones's store. And the Santa Claus at the furniture store."

Musical Performance by Geraldine

Geraldine, a budding musician, shares her passion for singing. Her performance captivates the audience, exemplifying the show's support for local talent and community engagement.

Notable Quotes:

• [13:15] Molly McGee: "Will you sing for us, Ms. Janis?"
• [16:26] Marian: "Sweetly and so discreetly Will be completely alone Not a word Only our own."

Officer Slattery's Heroic Tale

Officer Slattery recounts a thrilling (and exaggerated) story of catching the "carbon bandit," adding excitement and humor to the narrative. His tale, infused with hyperbole, highlights the comedic interplay between authority figures and the McGees.

Notable Quotes:

• [17:39] Officer Slattery: "I believe it was when I was attached in the 21st Precinct."
• [18:11] Molly McGee: "Thanks Officer, thanks. I'm sure that there was a real nerve-wracking experience."

Promotional Announcement and Contest

The episode concludes with an important promotional announcement by Harlow Wilcox, detailing a nationwide contest for amateur songwriters. This segment not only serves as an advertisement but also encourages community participation and showcases the show's commitment to fostering local talent.

Notable Quotes:

• [27:25] Harlow Wilcox: "Rico Marcelli is inaugurating a nationwide contest for amateur songwriters."
• [28:57] Harlow Wilcox: "Next Monday at this same hour, we'll meet Fiber Mcgee and Molly again as they do a little Christmas shopping."

Conclusion

The episode wraps up with a blend of humor, community interaction, and promotional content, encapsulating the essence of the Golden Age of Radio. Fibber McGee and Molly effectively engage with their audience, bringing entertainment and a sense of camaraderie to listeners.

Notable Quote:

• [28:57] Harlow Wilcox: "Good night."

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Final Thoughts:

This episode of Fibber McGee and Molly exemplifies the charm and appeal of classic radio shows. Through witty dialogues, relatable characters, and seamless integration of advertisements, the McGees create an engaging and entertaining broadcast that resonates with both contemporary and nostalgic audiences.

Transcript

[Harlow Wilcox]

Good evening, everyone. You're now listening to wls, the voice of prairie farmer Chicago, the Johnson Wax Program. Good evening, everyone. The makers of Johnson's Wax apply another coat of incubation to a polished period of versiflage with Rico Martelli's orchestra, Kay Donner, Hugh Studebaker, Tom Post and Marian and Jim, as your versatile pair of box poppers, Bibber McGee and Molly. Tonight, Bibber and Molly are playing a return engagement for the wistful Vista radio station. And they're taking a microphone down on the street to interview the passersby.

[Fibber McGee]

Go ahead, ladies.

[Molly McGee]

Okay. Greetings, friends of the Ether waves.

[Fibber McGee]

This is.

[Molly McGee]

Say, what is this? Who's making that noise?

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, it's Martelli and his Silver Cornet Band Parading for the bandstand.

[Molly McGee]

They would have to parade. When we're boss popping, we go on anyway, McGee.

[Sylvius Watson]

Okay.

[Molly McGee]

Greetings, friends of the Etherwave.

[Fibber McGee]

Well, you said that before.

[Molly McGee]

This is Bibber McGee and Molly here.

[Kay Donner]

On the corner of 14th and Oak.

[Fibber McGee]

Street to interview our citizens.

[Kay Donner]

We are here tonight, my friend.

[Molly McGee]

Oh, dad Radit. Let's listen to the dad Radit Band.

[Harlow Wilcox]

If you want to have an attractive home, you must first of all look to your floor. And please keep in mind that Johnson's Glo coat will give your floors and linoleum a beautiful gleaming polish in a few minutes time without any work of rubbing or buffing. There's no finer floor polish made than this. Easy to use. No rubbing polish. Johnson's blow coat.

[Rico Marcelli]

It's Sam.

[Molly McGee]

That was Mark Jelly and his silver Cornet band drowned me out as I was trying to. Who's that ringing that bell, Molly?

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, it's just the Santa Claus on the corner there, McGee.

[Molly McGee]

Oh, I can see he's gonna be a big help to this broadcast.

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, forget it, Magee. Oh, look, here comes silly Watson. He'll answer some questions. Oh, silly.

[Molly McGee]

Hey, Sil. Come on over here, Mike.

[Sylvius Watson]

How do, Ms. McGee? How do, Ms. McGee? What are y' all doing with that thing?

[Fibber McGee]

See the microphone, silly?

[Sylvius Watson]

Where y' all doing that little mifa got that. That thing?

[Fibber McGee]

We're interviewing folks, silly, and you're the first.

[Molly McGee]

Don't mind answering a few questions, do you, Sil?

[Sylvius Watson]

About what?

[Molly McGee]

Shucks, what's the difference? Greetings, friends of the etherwave. Here we are with the portable microphone down here under the busy intersection of 14th and Oak streets here in Whistle Vista. I'll hold the microphone so as you can hear the roar of the traffic. Listen. Yes, that thing. Sparrow. You hear that, folks? Admiral Byrd just Passed by.

[Fibber McGee]

Start interviewing McGee.

[Molly McGee]

And here, folks, is our first interview. Mr. Sylvius Watson, you start. Won't take much.

[Fibber McGee]

What is your name, me boy?

[Sylvius Watson]

Go on, man. You all know me.

[Molly McGee]

Billy Watts.

[Fibber McGee]

Well, where do you work, Mr. Watson? Why, I says, where do you work, silly?

[Sylvius Watson]

I just help my old man.

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, you help your father.

[Sylvius Watson]

Well, that's fine.

[Molly McGee]

What does he do, boy? Who? Your old man. Your father.

[Sylvius Watson]

Oh, he out of a job.

[Fibber McGee]

Well, how can you help him when he's out of a job?

[Sylvius Watson]

Yeah, the funniest thing, ma', am, you know, he done asked me that same thing this morning. If y' all don't mind, I gotta take this here package over to the city hall.

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, now, don't be in a hurry, children.

[Molly McGee]

Yes, we ain't even got started yet. Now, let's see. What were some of them questions, Molly?

[Fibber McGee]

Well, one of them was, do you think the next big political movement will be progressive or reactionary?

[Molly McGee]

What do you think, silly Ma.

[Fibber McGee]

Answer the question, Sylvia.

[Sylvius Watson]

Yes, ma', am, but I don't hardly remember it, ma'.

[Marian]

Am.

[Molly McGee]

Do you think the next big political movement will be progressive or reactionary?

[Sylvius Watson]

Yes, I should say so. If y' all don't mind, I gotta take this here package over to City hall.

[Fibber McGee]

Now, don't be in a hurry, Sylvia. Heavenly Days. There's millions of folks wanting to hear your answers. Now, what did you have for Thanksgiving, chicken or turkey?

[Sylvius Watson]

What?

[Molly McGee]

Which did you have for Thanksgiving, Syl, chicken or turkey?

[Fibber McGee]

Well, answer the question, why don't you?

[Sylvius Watson]

You say there's thousands of people around here. Listen to what I got say about that.

[Molly McGee]

Sure.

[Sylvius Watson]

Y' all mean to gwine to know.

[Fibber McGee]

If I had taken a turkey in my house?

[Molly McGee]

You betcha. What's the answer?

[Sylvius Watson]

Ain't no answer, boss. I talked too much one time before, and I got 90 days. No.

[Molly McGee]

So we ate hot dogs. Well, friends, that. That was it. Pipe down over there, Sandy Claus.

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, let it go, McGee. Listen, Sylvia.

[Sylvius Watson]

Yes?

[Fibber McGee]

One thing we're trying to do is to show the radio audience the interesting things that folks do during the business days.

[Sylvius Watson]

Yes, ma'.

[Marian]

Am.

[Molly McGee]

So just what are you doing now, Silver?

[Fibber McGee]

Why, where are you going with the package, me boy?

[Sylvius Watson]

I've taken it over to the mayor's office, please, ma'. Am.

[Molly McGee]

The mayor's office? Do you hear that, friends? It just goes to show how every one of us can do his bit for our fair city and be a useful citizen. It also shows how our honorable mayor is too busy doing your work and my work to be running trifling errands. This ain't no trifling area.

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, is it important, silly.

[Sylvius Watson]

Yes, ma'm, I should say so. The mayor can't see nobody talk like it. Back with his here little old package, ma'.

[Molly McGee]

Am.

[Marian]

No.

[Fibber McGee]

And why not?

[Sylvius Watson]

It's his pants, ma'.

[Marian]

Am.

[Sylvius Watson]

I just took them over to be dresses off. I better be gone.

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, hold it a minute, McGee. Here comes the office around the corner.

[Molly McGee]

Got a kind of a dirty look, too. Molly, we ain't obstructing traffic or nothing, are we?

[Fibber McGee]

No, we're not. And one wise crack out of that.

[Molly McGee]

Big flat foot and I. Oh, no, you won't, Molly. I'll handle him. Let him get smart with me and I'll lay him so flat onto his back that he'll. Oh, hello there, officer. Nice day, ain't it?

[Officer Slattery]

Well, I don't think it is now.

[Molly McGee]

Well, tis clouding up mite, officer.

[Officer Slattery]

What do you want?

[Fibber McGee]

We're interviewing representative citizens and we thought it'd be a fine thing if an officer of the law would answer a few questions.

[Officer Slattery]

Oh, you thought so, did you? Well, it's my privilege to be asking questions myself and not answering. I ain't been doing me duty directing traffic all morning in the cold just to be jabbered at by a couple of cranks. If there was a stroke of sense in the department, which there never was and never will be, I wouldn't be forced to listen to a laughing.

[Fibber McGee]

You're doing fine, officer. The whole town's listening to you on the radio.

[Officer Slattery]

On the radio? You mean this is Officer Slattery speaking, showing you what it would be like if every man in the department wasn't on the job every minute of the day, polite and all to the citizens. And now, ma', am, now that we've had our little joke, would you like to ask me some questions?

[Molly McGee]

Would you like to answer one, sir?

[Officer Slattery]

Sure I would that. Anything to help out. Go ahead.

[Molly McGee]

Well, sir, I just got one question to ask you, bud. Sure.

[Officer Slattery]

And I'll be answering it to the best of me ability, sir.

[Molly McGee]

Okay. Do you think you'll ever amount to anything?

[Kay Donner]

What?

[Molly McGee]

Friends of the ether waves. That was that great officer and hail feller all wet. Officer Slattery.

[Fibber McGee]

Not Slattery. Slattery. And there can be no kicking the Slatteries home with a fine officer like him on duty.

[Molly McGee]

Hey, you, Santa Claus. What's the matter with you?

[Fibber McGee]

You got ants in your McGee?

[Molly McGee]

Well, anyway, he's got crickets in his chimney, Molly.

[Fibber McGee]

He's got what?

[Molly McGee]

Crickets in his chimney. Didn't you ever hear of chimney crickets? Did you get it, Molly?

[Fibber McGee]

Ah, tain't funny, McGee.

[Molly McGee]

Okay.

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, but look. Here comes somebody.

[Molly McGee]

Looks like a foreigner. Molly.

[Kay Donner]

Yoo hoo.

[Fibber McGee]

Mister, may we ask you some questions?

[Harlow Wilcox]

Si, signorina.

[Officer Slattery]

Ccc.

[Molly McGee]

Mm, CCC Worker. We're interviewing folks for the radio station. Bud, you speak English?

[Harlow Wilcox]

Oh, yes, I speak English very good.

[Fibber McGee]

Fine. That's more than McGee does. But listen, do you think the next big political movement will be progressive or reactionary? Well, sure. Now that's real interesting, isn't it, Magee?

[Molly McGee]

You bet you, Bud. That's the best answer we've had today. You sprechen c Deutsch. Pretty good for a stranger. I'll say so. You betcha.

[Fibber McGee]

What did he say, McGee?

[Marian]

Well.

[Molly McGee]

He says. Well, say, I wonder if anybody in the crowd here can give us a real good translation, huh?

[Harlow Wilcox]

Shows you bet. I'm making a first class translation.

[Fibber McGee]

Okay, fine. Tell us what the man said, will you, please?

[Officer Slattery]

Yours are jelly. Very quick.

[Harlow Wilcox]

He said that there's an easier, better way to keep your pores and linoleum sparkling and clean. Just try using Johnson's Loco, the remarkable. No rubbing liquid polish that quickly dries to a beautiful luster. While you're taking it easy, there's no rubbing or buffing when you use Glo coat. No more soiled, dingy looking floors. No more worry about children tracking in dirt. You'll get lots of compliments on your lovely shining floors once you try this easy to use floor polish Glo coat made by the makers of Johnson's Wax.

[Molly McGee]

Hey, listen, Bud, we didn't ask you.

[Harlow Wilcox]

That's right. You haven't asked me. If you save money by buying Johnson's Glo coat in the large size, can you? Yes, sir.

[Officer Slattery]

You do.

[Harlow Wilcox]

You save up to one third.

[Officer Slattery]

Well, I'll be seeing you folks.

[Molly McGee]

Go on.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Man.

[Molly McGee]

Can you beat that Molly Chuck? That fella ought to be a radio announcer.

[Fibber McGee]

Better get back to your broadcast, McGee.

[Molly McGee]

Say, we ain't interviewed no gals onto this thing yet.

[Fibber McGee]

Well, here's your chance. Pardon me, ma'.

[Molly McGee]

Am.

[Marian]

Oh, hello.

[Fibber McGee]

What's the matter?

[Molly McGee]

Hi there, toots.

[Fibber McGee]

McGee.

[Molly McGee]

Good evening, ma'. Am. We're the inquiring reporters for the Wistful Vista radio station. Yes, yes. Mind if we ask you some questions, ma'?

[Marian]

Am?

[Sylvius Watson]

Oh, not at all. I have plenty of time to get to my music lessons.

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, you're a musician?

[Molly McGee]

Used to play the kazoo mite myself, baby. Kid Kazoo. They called me Kid Kazoo the concert king. Of Kalamazoo. I. Oh, Biggie.

[Fibber McGee]

Who's being interviewed, her or you?

[Molly McGee]

I just thought I'd mention it. I used to play the zither too, ma', am, Till the neighbors.

[Fibber McGee]

Till the neighbors went crazy.

[Molly McGee]

Chuck, I didn't drive him crazy, but I was instrumental.

[Fibber McGee]

You get it, too? That ain't funny, McGee.

[Molly McGee]

Okay.

[Fibber McGee]

What's your name, ma'?

[Officer Slattery]

Am?

[Marian]

Kay.

[Sylvius Watson]

Donna.

[Fibber McGee]

And what do you play?

[Sylvius Watson]

Oh, I don't play any instrument. I sing.

[Fibber McGee]

Well, now, isn't that fine? And where have you sung?

[Sylvius Watson]

Oh, I've sung in the concert stage.

[Fibber McGee]

Chautauqua, the Orpheus circuit, the Cosmopolitan Opera with the Peoria Symphony, the St. Lupo.

[Sylvius Watson]

Operetta Company, and a few years in the Imperial Russian Theater.

[Molly McGee]

Well, shuck, sis. Just you don't get discouraged. You get someplace yet.

[Fibber McGee]

Will you sing for us, Ms. Janis? Certainly. What would you like to sing? How about soon?

[Molly McGee]

Okay, toots, we'll get the boys in the bandstand over there to play first. Hey, Marshmelly, play soon. Right away.

[Marian]

Soon. Maybe not tomorrow but soon There'll just be two of us soon you and I will borrow or just the two of us Sweetly and so discreetly Will be completely unknown no other world only our own now we must be contented with schemes about the true vow yet we can have our sweet and dream that will come true for presently and pleasantly Our hearts will be in school so soon maybe not tomorrow but.

[Molly McGee]

Soon.

[Marian]

They'Ll just be too far.

[Molly McGee]

We'Ll pace.

[Marian]

The moon for just a tour Sweetly and so discreetly Will be completely alone Not a word Only our own.

[Molly McGee]

Now.

[Marian]

We must be contented with things about the truth of. Yes, we can have our sweet sense A dream that will come true for presently and pleasantly our heart will be.

[Molly McGee]

Soon.

[Marian]

So soon maybe not for.

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, thank you, Ms. Donna. I hope you get along real well with your music lessons.

[Molly McGee]

She gathered quite a crowd, didn't she?

[Fibber McGee]

Yes, she did.

[Molly McGee]

Okay, folks, move on. Hey, there, quick water.

[Officer Slattery]

Now, is everything all right, folks? You remember me, Officer Slattery. And always glad to be of assistant of the citizens. Always.

[Molly McGee]

Get away from that microphone, Garrett mug. Hello, friends of the Etherwave. This here's Fibber McGee having a little joke with that fine officer and gentleman sergeant. Slickery flattery. The mouse ran up the cop.

[Fibber McGee]

Now, will you two let us be getting on with our inquiring reporterin'?

[Molly McGee]

Well, Chucks, we might as well be interviewing the officer. Molly, what was the most interesting experience you ever had, Sarge?

[Officer Slattery]

Well, let's see now. I believe it was When I was attached in the 21st Precinct.

[Molly McGee]

Can I ever tell you how I caught the carbon bandit single handed, Sarge?

[Officer Slattery]

No. But this was one day in the summertime in 1922.

[Molly McGee]

I caught him single handed. They was nine of them. Toughest criminals ever seen in the town. I walked right up to him, says okay chumps, I says, you might as well give up. Oh yeah? They says. Yeah, says I, ducking the knife they throwed at me and smiling. Standing there cool as a cucumber into my motorman's uniform.

[Officer Slattery]

Now my mother.

[Molly McGee]

On they come and just as they was reaching for me with knives and clubs and brickbats and guns. I reaches behind me and lasses them with a live wire carrying 4 million bullets. Electrocuted every one of them onto the spot.

[Fibber McGee]

Well, why didn't you get a shock too, McGee?

[Molly McGee]

I had on my motorman's uniform, Molly. And so what I was a non conductor.

[Officer Slattery]

Well, me more thrilling experience was one day when I was.

[Molly McGee]

Thanks Officer, thanks. I'm sure that there was a real nerve wrecking experience. Sometime we'll ask you for another one of them thrilling hair raising stories. I'm sorry you gotta get back on duty now, friend.

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, here comes little Teeny. Hello there, Teenie.

[Molly McGee]

Oh, hello there, Teenie.

[Kay Donner]

Hi Mr. McGee. Hi Mrs. McGee. Whatcha doin', huh?

[Molly McGee]

We're interviewing folks for the radio station, Teeny. Do you wanna be interviewed?

[Kay Donner]

I don't know what that is, I betcha.

[Molly McGee]

Well, Chuck, all you gotta do is answer questions. Like for instance. Well, what did you have for Thanksgiving?

[Kay Donner]

A stomachache?

[Marian]

No, no, no.

[Molly McGee]

Did you have chicken or turkey, Teeny?

[Kay Donner]

I couldn't tell. It didn't have any feathers on.

[Molly McGee]

Oh, where are you headed for now, Tinny?

[Kay Donner]

I'm going down to the Big Star to see Santa Claus. He's the last one I betcha.

[Molly McGee]

Why Chucks, they'll always be a Santa Claus. Teeny, what makes you think the Santa Claus you'll see is the last one?

[Kay Donner]

Well Dee, I saw all the other ones, I bet you. Oh, I saw the Santa Claus at Wagner store. And the Santa Claus at Jones's store. And the Santa Claus at the furniture store. And now I'm going to see the Santa Claus at the department store, I betcha.

[Marian]

Oh, he's the last one I gotta see.

[Molly McGee]

Well, Chuck said you giving your orders to all of them, Tinny?

[Kay Donner]

No, I didn't give it to any of them until I find the biggest Santa Claus.

[Molly McGee]

The biggest?

[Kay Donner]

On account of I bet you if he's the biggest he can Carry the most stuff, I bet you. Oh, well, I guess I got a gun. I guess. Bye, Mrs. McGee.

[Molly McGee]

Goodbye, Mrs. McGee. Shucks, that kid ain't so dumb, Molly. She'll probably go and borrow the Boston Red Sox to hang up Christmas Eve.

[Kay Donner]

Oh, for goodness sake. Imagine meeting you here.

[Sylvius Watson]

Hello, Ms. McGee.

[Kay Donner]

Hello, Mr. McGee.

[Molly McGee]

Oh, hello there, Geraldine.

[Fibber McGee]

Hello, Geraldine.

[Molly McGee]

Say, how'd you like to be interviewed?

[Kay Donner]

Interviewed? For the radio? Oh, I just love it. I mean, I really would. I hope you asked me some really intellectual questions. Well, I remember when Gerald's geometry teacher asked him how to square the circle.

[Molly McGee]

Square the circle.

[Kay Donner]

And Gerald said he wouldn't. He'd just get out of his kiddie car and circle the square. I mean, he really said that. Isn't it just too, too ducky? I mean, isn't it really?

[Molly McGee]

Yeah, I know, but the question we're asking today is, do you think the next big political movement policy.

[Kay Donner]

Now, there is something I do know about. I mean, I really do. Really well, but girlfriend, what most politicians ought to run for in dear life, is that just too, too penetrating? I mean, is it really?

[Molly McGee]

Yes, but our questions are toys.

[Kay Donner]

Questions. I know. Toys are questions. We always play that at our house. I just love to play that. Somebody asked Darrell last night how many lives a cat had. And Darryl said 18, because ours was leading a double life. Isn't that fair, Liza? How many is it really? Oh, you simply must meet Gerald.

[Molly McGee]

Yes, I know.

[Kay Donner]

Oh, you're just shy. You must let him eat people more, Mrs. McGee. I mean, you really must. It's just like Gerald says. Nobody knows what they can do till they try. Well, I must be off.

[Molly McGee]

I'll say so.

[Kay Donner]

Well, thank you so much for interviewing me. Fiddle, fiddle, fiddle.

[Molly McGee]

Hello, friends of the etherwave.

[Sylvius Watson]

That bell Molly.

[Molly McGee]

That friends of the ether wave.

[Officer Slattery]

Dead red.

[Molly McGee]

That dead Reddit Swiss bell ringer. In about one minute.

[Harlow Wilcox]

I'm going over.

[Fibber McGee]

Now, McGee, you do nothing of the kind.

[Officer Slattery]

You'll.

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, here comes Sylvius Watson back again. Oh, Sylvius.

[Sylvius Watson]

Yes, ma'.

[Molly McGee]

Am.

[Sylvius Watson]

You're all still talking that old microphone.

[Molly McGee]

What say Sil?

[Sylvius Watson]

I say yo. She'll talk out of the low microphone.

[Fibber McGee]

Yes, but we're nearly through for the day, silly. Let's ask him a few more questions, Miggy.

[Molly McGee]

Okay. Why does a chicken cross the road?

[Harlow Wilcox]

Sil?

[Sylvius Watson]

What?

[Molly McGee]

Why does a chicken cross the road? What road? Shucks, what difference does it make?

[Officer Slattery]

What road?

[Sylvius Watson]

Yes, but what difference do it make? Why he go across?

[Fibber McGee]

He's got you there, M. Okay, listen, silly. Suppose you were flying an airplane?

[Sylvius Watson]

No, no, man. No man. Not me.

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, now, now, wait a minute.

[Molly McGee]

This here's just a categorical question. Phil, I says this here is just a categorical question. Nobody's going to ask you to fly no airplane.

[Sylvius Watson]

Yes, I hope not.

[Fibber McGee]

Well, now then, if you was flying a plane 10,000ft up and the wings fell off and you had no parachute, what would you do?

[Molly McGee]

Well, Sil. Remember our friends at the Easter waves are listening for the answer. What would you do?

[Fibber McGee]

You better hurry, silly. Remember, you're falling 16ft a second.

[Sylvius Watson]

Yes, Ma.

[Molly McGee]

Better what?

[Fibber McGee]

I said you'd better hurry. You're falling 16ft a second.

[Sylvius Watson]

I guess y' all better get out of the way then, ma'.

[Officer Slattery]

Am.

[Sylvius Watson]

Cause here I come and I just.

[Molly McGee]

Can'T think of nothing. Well, that was silly.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Watching who?

[Molly McGee]

Stay there, dad. Reddit. How can a feller concentrate?

[Fibber McGee]

Heaven's sakes, Mickey, don't lose your temper. He's doing a good work collecting money for the pool.

[Molly McGee]

I know, but Chuck, that don't give him no right. Hey there, Sandy Claus. Sandy Claus, come here. Am I say, listen here, you big fat be whiskered McGee. Excuse me, but St. Nicholas, would you mind muffling that there bell for a while till we get through broadcasting?

[Fibber McGee]

What did he say, Magee?

[Molly McGee]

Chucks, I can't hear nothing through them whiskers. Take them off, bud. Sure.

[Fibber McGee]

Take off the beard, Mr. Santa Claus, so's we can hear what you say.

[Molly McGee]

Well, if it ain't harmful.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Hello, everybody. I've just been standing here on the corner waiting to tell you that now is the time to make your floors beautiful with Johnson's Glow Coat. You know, there'll be a lot of wear and tear on floors during the holiday season. You certainly won't want to spend much time cleaning them when there are so many pleasanter things to do. You save yourself hours of work by ordering Johnson's Glo Coat right away. Just pour a little of this liquid polish right onto the clean floor. Spread it lightly over the surface with a soft cloth or the special Glo coat applier. Twenty minutes later, the floor will be dry and shining like new. Dust and dirt can't penetrate the tough gloat polish pots wipe off easily. Think of the time and labor you'll be saved. And here's a suggestion. It's very economical to buy gloat in the larger size can. Thank you, friends. Now here's your mic bibber.

[Fibber McGee]

And here's your beard, Nick.

[Molly McGee]

And here's Marcelli. Friends of the ether Wave you ready over there.

[Marian]

Sappy.

[Rico Marcelli]

But I will be happy Till I make you happy too Life really worth living when we are merging white tents I give some to you when skies are gray and you say you are blue I send the sun smiling through I want to be happy But I won't be happy Till I make you happy too.

[Marian]

SAM.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Here is a special announcement of unusual interest. Believing that in America there is a great deal of musical talent which has never had a chance to make itself known, Rico Marcelli is inaugurating a nationwide contest for amateur songwriters. If you have an original melody which you think might be made into a popular song, send it to Rico Marcelli in care of the National Broadcasting Company, Chicago. It's not necessary to buy anything in order to enter this contest. Everybody is eligible, excepting professional songwriters. A cash prize of 100 will be awarded by the sponsors of this program and S.C. johnson and Son. And in addition, the winning song will be published by Irving Berlin Incorporated, who will pay the writer standard royalties. The winning song will also be featured on one of the Fiber McGee Future broadcasts. Now, this amateur songwriters contest closes January 1, 1936. For complete information about the contest rules, address Rico Marcelli in care of the National Broadcasting Company, Chicago. Or see complete details of the contest on page eight of next week's issue of Radio Guide. Next Monday at this same hour, we'll meet Fiber mcgee and Molly again as they do a little Christmas shopping. This is that polished fellow, Harlow Wilcox, shining off. Good night.

[Marian]

It.