
Fountain Of Fun 42-10-25 (x) First Joke - Box Of Cigars
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Bob Jellison
Plastic bags, plastic lids. What do we do with you? You can't go in the recycling bin, but you can be recycled if taken.
Doc Fiddlefaddle
To a new recycle on center.
Bob Jellison
Find one near you@recycleon.org OregonCenters Bars Incorporated.
John Cornell
Makers of Milky Way candy bars, invite you to step right up to the fountain of. This is John Cornell welcoming you to the fountain of Fun, the Crossroads Soda parlor where we hear from Bill Brito, the Thrasher Sisters, Veronica Lagoon, Doc Fiddle paddle and Phil Davis and his orchestra. And here's the trip of the fountain, that fallen arch in the comedy parade, Bob Jellison.
Veronica Lagoon
Hello.
Bob Jellison
Hello.
Veronica Lagoon
I'll be with you just a second.
Bob Jellison
As I wait on this customer. Now let's see. You wanted a box of cigars, didn't you?
Doc Fiddlefaddle
That's right. We just had a pleasant event at our house.
Bob Jellison
Well, congratulations. What is it?
Doc Fiddlefaddle
My mother in law went back home.
Bob Jellison
Found the fun. Bob Jellison speaking. Oh, it's you, Mrs. Upd. Why of course, I'd be glad to help. No, no, not there. Yeah, no, no. Yes, yes.
Veronica Lagoon
Yeah.
Bob Jellison
So now you have it. Not at all, Mrs. Updike.
John Cornell
You're welcome. Hey, what were you doing, Bob?
Veronica Lagoon
Oh, just helping Mrs. Updike with the jigsaw puzzle.
John Cornell
Mars Incorporated, makers of Milky Way candy bars, present Fountain of Fun. Once again we invite all lovers of good candy to double your pleasure at the Fountain of Fun with the pleasure of eating a Milky Way, America's most enjoyable candy bar. Discover to your sheer delight what a grand pick me up a Milky Way bar is as well as a delicious candy bar. Know this during the day when you are tired and worn from long hours of work, what a treat it is to eat a luscious Milky Way. How good it tastes and how quickly a Milky Way bar satisfies hunger helps lagging energy return. That is why for children at school and for grown ups at work, wholesome, nourishing Milky Way candy bars have become an American institution. Every day, countless thousands of Milky Ways are placed in lunch boxes throughout America and are taken to busy factories. Then at lunchtime, that Milky Way in the lunchbox becomes a luxurious dessert. Unusual as a dessert because of its extremely high nutritional value and even more unusual because of its rare delightful taste. With each bite, the pure milk chocolate coating, the layer of smooth creamy caramel and the luscious center of chocolate nougat flavored with real malted milk melt into that thrilling taste blend found only in a Milky Way. When you crave good candy, eat a Milky Way.
Veronica Lagoon
Hello folks.
Bob Jellison
This Is Bob Jellison, your jovial jerk from the fountain of fun. Say John, did you know the next Saturday is Halloween?
John Cornell
Why sure Bob. And by the way, are you going to get a pumpkin head?
Bob Jellison
No, I'm going to stay sober.
John Cornell
No, not that, a pumpkin head. You know what it is?
Thrasher Sisters
What is it?
John Cornell
That has a funny yellow face with buck teeth and slit eyes.
Bob Jellison
Hirohito.
John Cornell
Boy, you're the lemon Bob. Say, we're all expecting you at the Halloween party our boss old Doc Fiddlefattle is giving. Phil Brito and all the rest of the gang are going to be there.
Thrasher Sisters
Oh, Phil Brito.
Bob Jellison
Gosh, he's a he man.
John Cornell
I'll say. And he sure treats the girls rough.
Bob Jellison
I understand he's going around now with one of the sisters in our vocal trio. You know, Mary Rasher? No, he treats her nice and gentle.
John Cornell
What are you going to wear at the party Bob?
Bob Jellison
Oh, I guess I'll just cover myself with canvas and go as Mussolini.
John Cornell
I don't get it. What has canvas got to do with Mussolini?
Bob Jellison
Well they're both stiff and crude and they both got stepped on by a house painter.
John Cornell
Yeah, I see what you mean. Incidentally, that house painter Hitler is shot. Sure having trouble with that Russian wall, isn't he?
Bob Jellison
I say this is the first time a wall ever gave a painter a shellacky.
John Cornell
But getting back to the party Bob, I understand Veronica Lagoon is going to look very pretty.
Bob Jellison
Yeah. Well how come?
John Cornell
Well she's going to come dressed in wings and a halo.
Bob Jellison
Well what will that make her?
John Cornell
A flying Venus?
Bob Jellison
Well that's nothing. Bill Davis is going to come dressed in wings and a propeller.
John Cornell
What will that make him?
Bob Jellison
A flying fortress?
Veronica Lagoon
There were 10 little soldiers on a 10 day leave all of the crews daughter Genevieve each little soldier let the other two believe that he was going home to spend the 10 Bailey some took a taxi cabin summer train Some bought a ticket for a southland plain Some took a trolley to the west side of town the 10 little soldiers they were homeward bound each took a.
Bob Jellison
Different direction each one in search of.
Veronica Lagoon
Perfection Imagine their surprise and the shouts they received when they bumped into each other calling on Genevieve 10 little soldiers went from bad to worse with 10 little sailor boys that got there first they crowded her yard like a pack of sardines when out of 12 Genesee were 10 Marines 10 little soldiers, 10 little sailors 10 Marines on a 10 they leave they went to war when the country called to say goodbye to the Genevieve. There were 10,000 Germans on the Russian front Fighting in the Summer they were excellent but when the winter came Here's a story we're told they cried out to leave a getting cold there were 10,000 Japanese set out to see thoughts that deep the rendezvous with mystery Everything was stuck until they reached the Coral sea But splash went to Jabba to eternity Sends us an enemy soldier Trying to make us believe that the rock and the tough but the Jetsta Potter puff to the 10 little soldiers calling on Genevieve the 10 little soldiers and the 10 marines went with the sailors to the battle scene now they're all smiles in the Solomon isle the soldiers and the sailors and the Samari.
John Cornell
And that's the story of the ten little soldiers as told by the Thrasher sisters.
Doc Fiddlefaddle
Yes, and that was mighty swell, kids.
Veronica Lagoon
Yes, sir. Ticky boo.
Bob Jellison
Well, look who's here. The boss himself. Old Duck Fiddle Fat. Well, I just thought I'd drop around.
Doc Fiddlefaddle
And see how things are going.
Bob Jellison
Well, I'm glad you did, Doc.
Doc Fiddlefaddle
I can't waste much time, though. Got a lot to do. Got to go to the hotel and check the mileage on that roller towel. Getting close to a new record. Got to go to the butcher shop for the unveiling of the sausage machine. And oh, yes, got to go to the firehouse. Big day there. Launching the new deck of cards in back.
Veronica Lagoon
The.
Bob Jellison
Why, you certainly are the busy boy, you know. You know, it's been plenty busy around here, Doc. Pretty soon I'll be needing a helpmate.
Thrasher Sisters
A what?
Bob Jellison
A help mate. A help mate? Don't you know what a help mate is?
Doc Fiddlefaddle
Why, sure I do. That's my favorite radio cereal. Gosh, I wish I'd seen that Linda gal before Steve did.
Veronica Lagoon
Oh, well. Gotta get going. Bucky.
Bob Jellison
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Doc Fiddlefaddle
There's all that Halloweening to do. First thing I'd better do, though, is get my Tic Tac fixed.
John Cornell
Doc, you don't actually mean you're going out and play Halloween Pranks and all that sort of thing.
Doc Fiddlefaddle
Oh, toot your horn, kid. You're in a fog. Sure I am, John boy.
Bob Jellison
Hey Doc, don't you think you're too old to go halloweening?
Veronica Lagoon
Too old?
Doc Fiddlefaddle
Oh, fiddle faddle. Fiddle faddle.
Bob Jellison
I mean.
Doc Fiddlefaddle
What's that? Somebody called me. Thought I heard my name.
Bob Jellison
No, Doc, no. Well, I will admit you're mighty chipper for your age.
Doc Fiddlefaddle
Yeah, just like a mule in a briar patch, Bucky. Still, I can't understand why they don't take me in the army. Going to take them 18 year old boys. You know, like I was saying to the other pin boys down at the bowling alley. I said.
Veronica Lagoon
Hey, hey, wait a minute, you.
Bob Jellison
You mean you're setting up pins at the. The bowling alley?
Doc Fiddlefaddle
Why sure, Bucky. Strikes me as a good spare time job.
Veronica Lagoon
You get it?
Doc Fiddlefaddle
Strikes spares. Mom hit a rose on me.
Bob Jellison
Oh, doctor.
Doc Fiddlefaddle
Well, like I was saying to the other pin boys at the bowling alley. What's an 18 year old boy got that I don't remember having?
Bob Jellison
Now look Doc, you used that joke on the Fountain of Fun program last week.
Doc Fiddlefaddle
Oh, so that's where I heared it. That's a mighty funny program. Never miss it. Especially that old fellow. Why he.
Bob Jellison
Look, don't think this isn't interesting, because it isn't. But I don't want to waste your time when you have so much to do.
Doc Fiddlefaddle
That's right, Bucky. I got a lot of preliminary work to do for Halloweening. I got my eye on a few windows or soap. Got a couple of swings lined up to carry off. And back at Charlie Detwiler's house, there's an.
Veronica Lagoon
Ouch.
Doc Fiddlefaddle
Back at Charlie Detwiler's house there's an outing. There's an outworn old buggy. We're going to haul off.
Bob Jellison
Doctor, you certainly are a cutup.
Doc Fiddlefaddle
Yeah, I got to get me some jack O lanterns too. Guess I'll have to buy some pumpkins. You know, I used to grow them myself.
Bob Jellison
Is that so, Doc?
Thrasher Sisters
Oh yes.
Doc Fiddlefaddle
In these parts I was considered the head pumpkin grower. Pumpkin head Fiddle paddle. I was known as an indies.
Bob Jellison
Oh, you sad man.
Doc Fiddlefaddle
Are you sure to be. Been out with us the other night, Bucky. Awful thing happened to me though.
Bob Jellison
What, Doc?
Doc Fiddlefaddle
Well, we was out by the cemetery, see, and I got lost from the.
Bob Jellison
Rest of the kids.
Doc Fiddlefaddle
And I'm telling you it was mighty scary.
Bob Jellison
Yeah?
Doc Fiddlefaddle
Yeah, Doc. Well, I was going along there trying to figure out just where I was. It was awful dark. I was kind of Whistling to myself. And then all of a sudden, I seen a ghost.
Bob Jellison
You did? Yes, I sure did.
Doc Fiddlefaddle
Well, sir, I lit out as fast as I could. Looked back over my shoulder and seen that ghost coming after me. Yeah, Then I really run. Fairly flew, I tell you. But he kept right behind me. Finally, I just couldn't run no more. Had to sit down on a bench. There I was a huffing and a puffing. And this ghost feller sits right down beside me.
Bob Jellison
Yeah, yeah.
Doc Fiddlefaddle
And he says to me, he says, well, that was some running we did. And I says, that's right, Mr. Ghost. And just as soon as I get my breath back, we're gonna do some.
Thrasher Sisters
Dear. As I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms. When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken. And I hung my head and cried. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away. You told me once, dear, you really love me. And no one else could come between. But now you've left me and love another. You have shattered all my dreams. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when the skies are gray. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away. Please don't take my sunshine away. Now don't you take my sunshine. Please let it stay.
Bob Jellison
That was Del Reno singing you are my Sunshine.
Veronica Lagoon
Hello, Veronica Lagoon.
John Cornell
Hello.
Bob Jellison
Say Veronica, did you hear about the big Halloween party over at Doc's place?
Veronica Lagoon
Why no, Bobby. How was it?
Bob Jellison
How? What do you mean how was it? Halloween isn't here yet.
Veronica Lagoon
It isn't? Well, what are all those skeletons I've been seeing around town?
Bob Jellison
Skeletons? Those are four Fs.
Veronica Lagoon
Oh, and those people I see flying around on broomsticks.
Bob Jellison
Fuller Brush men, conserving tires.
Veronica Lagoon
Well, speaking about conserving tires, Bobby, my girlfriend Myrtle got a ticket for conserving tires.
Bob Jellison
She got a ticket for conserving tires?
Veronica Lagoon
Uh huh. She was going around corners on two wheels.
Bob Jellison
I see. Well, this girlfriend of yours, is she the one who looks big enough to be a stand in for a Liberty Ship?
Veronica Lagoon
Uh huh. Well, she's a nurse, Bobby, and a very nice girl. Awfully broad minded if you ask me.
Bob Jellison
She's awfully broad minded all over.
Veronica Lagoon
Well, she's a good nurse. Of course she talks a lot, but her boyfriend knows how to keep her quiet.
Bob Jellison
How does he manage to keep her quiet? Date and hug her.
Veronica Lagoon
Louisville Slugger.
Bob Jellison
No wonder she's got Bats in her belfry.
Veronica Lagoon
You know, Bobby, Myrtle told me that I'd make a good nurse, so now I'm studying first aid at business school.
Bob Jellison
Oh, is that so? Well, look, if I gave you a practical problem in first aid, do you suppose you could answer it?
Veronica Lagoon
Oh, sure.
Bob Jellison
All right. Well, let's see now. Suppose there are two men. One is lying down, almost unconscious. His face is pale, his pulse weak and rapid.
Doc Fiddlefaddle
He's gasping for breath.
Bob Jellison
He's lost almost all sensibility. Now, what's the first thing the other man should do?
Veronica Lagoon
Go to a neutral corner.
Bob Jellison
Uh. Oh, ring the bell.
Veronica Lagoon
I was out for a drive with my first aid instructor last night, Bobby.
Bob Jellison
Oh, were you sure?
Veronica Lagoon
We were driving through the park when all of a sudden the motor stopped.
Bob Jellison
Did you get worried?
Veronica Lagoon
I'll say. I said to him, I suppose you're out of gas.
Bob Jellison
Yes.
Veronica Lagoon
Then he got worried.
Bob Jellison
I can imagine. Well, tell me, Veronica, does the first aid instructor like you very much?
Veronica Lagoon
Oh, yes. He proposed to me.
Bob Jellison
He proposed to you? Gosh. What did you say no.
Veronica Lagoon
Well, certainly I said no. Let him get his own sugar ration coupon.
Bob Jellison
It. That was Phil Davis's Yankee noodle dandies with an oral Paul arrangement of the national emblem march.
Veronica Lagoon
Hey.
Doc Fiddlefaddle
Hey there, Bucky.
Veronica Lagoon
Hey, yeah, doc?
Doc Fiddlefaddle
How about me picking up everybody here and bringing them over to the Halloween party in my Stanley Steamer? Be a good way to conserve on gas and tires.
Bob Jellison
Say, that's a good idea, doc, but won't the car be kind of crowded?
Doc Fiddlefaddle
Oh, I don't know, Bucky. I guess I can take you and Phil Brito and Veronica and the Thrasher kids over easy enough. Might have to make two trips for Phil Davis, though.
Bob Jellison
Hey, gosh, the way you fellas around this place talk, you think that I weighed a ton dressed in a bathing suit? Oh, well, in a bathing suit, dude. But you are heavy, Mr. D. And that's no kidding. Why, just yesterday you were walking down the street when I heard a little boy say to his mother, look, mommy. Inflation. Well, look, I met a girl last night who doesn't think I'm so stout. No. She said I reminded her of a white house. A white house? Yes. Or was it a lighthouse?
Veronica Lagoon
I draw the pig, Bobby. Yeah, Veronica, if the car's going to be crowded, I can sit on Phil Brito's lap. But I wanted to sit on Phil's lap. Veronica.
Doc Fiddlefaddle
Hey, hey, now, wait there now, kids. Wait, Wait there.
Veronica Lagoon
Ain't.
Doc Fiddlefaddle
Ain't nobody gonna sit on Phil's lap.
Bob Jellison
Tall.
Doc Fiddlefaddle
Cause out and back there pushing he.
Veronica Lagoon
Ain'T gonna have no lap.
Bob Jellison
Don't you worry. We'll all get to the party somehow and we'll really have fun. Guys, it'll be swell sitting around the fire telling ghost stories.
Veronica Lagoon
Ooh, makes me scared even to think of it. Do you believe in ghosts, Bob?
Bob Jellison
Oh, why certainly, Mary. I live in a haunted house.
Veronica Lagoon
You do? Why do you live in a haunted house?
Bob Jellison
Oh, just for the spirit of the thing.
Veronica Lagoon
Are there real ghosts in the house where you live?
Bob Jellison
I'll say. The other night I saw about 40 of them.
Veronica Lagoon
40 of them? God.
Bob Jellison
Well, 41 to be exact. But one little ghost was away off in the corner all by himself. The others wouldn't have anything to do with them.
Veronica Lagoon
Why not?
Bob Jellison
His sheet was tattletale gray.
Veronica Lagoon
Gosh, it sure must be spooky living in a haunted house. Do you hear any unusual sound?
Bob Jellison
I'll say I do. The ghosts turned in their chains to the scrap metal drive and now they go around dragging plastics.
Veronica Lagoon
I saw a ghost the other day, Bobby.
Bob Jellison
Oh, is that so?
Veronica Lagoon
Uh huh. It was my Uncle Pete.
Bob Jellison
Now look, wait a minute. How could you tell the ghost was your Uncle Pete?
Veronica Lagoon
I saw his laundry mark.
Thrasher Sisters
On the February morn a tiny baby boy was born Abraham Abraham when he grew up this tiny babe Folks all call him Honest Abe Abraham.
Bob Jellison
Abraham in.
Thrasher Sisters
1860 he became our 16th president now he's in the hall of fame the most respected gen that is why we celebrate my sixth February day Abraham Abraham.
Veronica Lagoon
When black folks lived in slavery who was it set the donkey free? Abraham Mr. Abraham when trouble came down from the shell his heart was bigger than himself Abraham.
Thrasher Sisters
Abraham the country's going.
Veronica Lagoon
To the dark they shouted loud and.
Thrasher Sisters
Strong they're from a cabin made of.
Veronica Lagoon
Love the right man came along and that is why we celebrate Blessed February day Abraham.
Thrasher Sisters
Abraham when someone told him General Red was drinking every night he answered Go and see if you can.
Veronica Lagoon
Get on my general side that is.
Thrasher Sisters
Why we celebrate this blessing February day.
Veronica Lagoon
Abraham Mr. Abraham Mr. Abraham. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Bob Jellison
That was Phil Brito and the Thresher Sisters swinging out with the Phil Davis Philharmonic. Oh, that was great, boys. What a van. Say, by the way, Mary, does Phil Davis have a theme song?
Veronica Lagoon
No, he doesn't, Bob.
Bob Jellison
Well, he should have. What do you say we think of one right here, huh?
Thrasher Sisters
Hey, a theme song for Phil Davis. How about Barrel House Bessie or the.
Veronica Lagoon
March of the Elephant?
Bob Jellison
Now wait a minute.
Thrasher Sisters
Let's see.
Bob Jellison
Hey, I got it, folks. Now here's a song that spits him like the well known glove. It doesn't tell a moonlight and it doesn't mention love. Now with the help of Bredo and the Thresher Sisters too We'll lead up kind of gently to the song we got to do we'll lead up kind.
Veronica Lagoon
Of gently to the song we're said.
Bob Jellison
To do first there was the melody One night of love One night of.
Thrasher Sisters
Love.
Bob Jellison
And then a song with two by two that we heard plenty of.
Thrasher Sisters
Two by two they go marching through.
Bob Jellison
Soon there was a tune about the sisters three and there have been a score of fours that live in melody but now at last the songs arrived to bring the fame of Phil alive. So swing at kitties, jump and jive here's the Mr. 5 by 5 Mr.
Veronica Lagoon
5 by 5 He's 5ft tall and he's 5ft wide he don't measure no more from head to toe than he do from side to side the army.
Bob Jellison
Don'T depend on tanks to climb a rocky hill Instead the men when out of tanks ride piggyback on.
Thrasher Sisters
Mr. 5 5, 5 he's right on hand when the tanks won't dry he can climb a hill with the greatest of skill good old Mr. 5 by 5 in.
Bob Jellison
Battle he's the whole darn front he doesn't know of fear but when he backs up toward the front his front is at the rear.
Veronica Lagoon
Mr. Five by Five he's not afraid of the thing alive Wyatt bears all the front of the ho gonn front that old Mr.
Bob Jellison
Five by Five one day our maestro wandered by an elephant chained and tied A gleam came in the elephant's eye then hi. A poppy cry.
Thrasher Sisters
Mr. Five by five there is a rounder fellow alive all the elephants stop and call him Pop.
Bob Jellison
Three chairs for ol Five Five five.
Thrasher Sisters
Hey hey, hey.
John Cornell
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Bob Jellison
Let me get my two cents in it.
John Cornell
You don't think so much of me.
Bob Jellison
You and Mr. 3x3. Yes, I may be as wide as an elephant's hide and look like a 10 ton tank beside but there's one thing I'm solid at.
Thrasher Sisters
Tell us, Mr. Davis.
Veronica Lagoon
What is that?
Bob Jellison
Well listen, while I come alive and give out with that trombone jive.
Veronica Lagoon
Morning Mr. 5x5. You're a hep cat with that drive.
Thrasher Sisters
We're all with you, man alive.
Bob Jellison
Now hit it brother and start your drive. Mr. Five by Five.
Veronica Lagoon
Friends don't die alive. My story must end. Goodbye friend, goodbye to Mr. Five by Five.
John Cornell
Now that your refreshing fountain of fun is about to subside, until next week at this time, may we invite you to another fountain or candy counter where you will always find the refreshment of a luscious, creamy, smooth, Milky Way. Enjoy that delightful treat in the week to come. During the waning hours of the day when time drags and work has worn you down, give yourself the pick me up of a Milky Way. See how quickly your energy returns. For a Milky Way bar is a nutritional treat as wholesome and nourishing as it is delicious. And what an enjoyable adventure. As you open the crisp wrapper, you will notice the scent of fresh milk chocolate. Then as your teeth sink through the thick milk chocolate coating, through the layer of smooth, creamy caramel and the luscious center of chocolate nougat, richly flavored with real malted milk, you will thrill to the taste blend found only in a Milky Way. What's more, you will enjoy every bite right down to the last delightful flavor that lingers in your mouth when you crave good candy. Eat a Milky Way.
Bob Jellison
Say. Say. Veronica.
Veronica Lagoon
Oh, yes, Bobby.
Bob Jellison
I see Mrs. Roosevelt is visiting at Buckingham Palace.
Veronica Lagoon
Oh, yes. I think it's very nice of the king to break down and allow ladies to come into the palace.
Bob Jellison
What are you talking about, Veronica? Ladies have always been allowed there.
Veronica Lagoon
Oh, no, Bobby. Just last week I read a headline that said first lady to enter Buckingham Palace.
Bob Jellison
That's all for now, but we'll be back again next Sunday at the same time. So you'll be here too, won't you?
John Cornell
Yes. Bars Incorporated, makers of Milky Way candy bars, invite you to visit the Fountain of Fun next Sunday at 5:30 Eastern. War time. All the gang will be here. Bill Brito, the Thrasher Sisters, Phil Davis and his music, Veronica Lagoon, Doc Fiddle Battle and Bob Jellison.
Bob Jellison
So long now.
John Cornell
John Cornell speaking. This is the Nation Station.
Date: January 22, 2026
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
Setting: A lively, comedic variety show set at the Crossroads Soda Parlor, celebrating the spirit of the 1940s radio era.
This episode of "Fountain of Fun" transports listeners to a classic radio soda parlor, bubbling with period jokes, musical performances, Halloween shenanigans, and friendly banter among regulars like Bob Jellison, Doc Fiddlefaddle, Veronica Lagoon, John Cornell, and the Thrasher Sisters. The episode is a time capsule of Golden Age radio, replete with wartime references, wordplay, lighthearted teasing, and hit tunes—an ode to a time when Americans gathered around their radios for entertainment.
Bob Jellison greets Veronica Lagoon while serving a customer (Doc Fiddlefaddle), leading to the inaugural joke involving cigars and a mother-in-law:
"You wanted a box of cigars, didn't you?"
"That's right. We just had a pleasant event at our house."
"Well, congratulations. What is it?"
"My mother-in-law went back home."
— Doc Fiddlefaddle & Bob Jellison (01:00–01:13)
The segment moves to Bob helping Mrs. Updike with a puzzle, revealing the show's silly, pun-filled tone.
Talk turns to Halloween, costumes, and contemporary (1942) political satire.
Jokes link historical figures to Halloween ideas, including references to Mussolini and Hitler (notable for period-specific humor and double entendres):
"What has canvas got to do with Mussolini?"
"Well they're both stiff and crude and they both got stepped on by a house painter."
— John Cornell & Bob Jellison (04:56–05:03)
The banter segues to Halloween party plans, everyone’s invites, and who will wear what.
"There were 10,000 Germans on the Russian front... but when the winter came... they cried out to leave, a getting cold..." — Veronica Lagoon (06:40–06:50)
Doc Fiddlefaddle describes his busy day and Halloween tasks—highlighting the show's slapstick humor:
"Got to go to the hotel and check the mileage on that roller towel. Getting close to a new record."
— Doc Fiddlefaddle (08:05–08:09)
Classic ghost story, ending with a punch line:
"I seen a ghost... And just as soon as I get my breath back, we're gonna do some."
— Doc Fiddlefaddle (11:36–12:24)
Light-hearted ghost jokes continue:
"The ghosts turned in their chains to the scrap metal drive and now they go around dragging plastics."
— Bob Jellison (21:13–21:20)
Jokes about gas and tire rationing, broad-minded nurses, and life during the war:
"Those are four Fs." (about skeletons seen around town—referring to military draft classification.)
— Bob Jellison (14:27)
First aid jokes and sugar rationing references flavor Veronica and Bob’s banter:
"He proposed to me... Let him get his own sugar ration coupon."
— Veronica Lagoon (16:17–16:19)
Doc Fiddlefaddle offers to bring everyone to the party in his Stanley Steamer; joking about cramped cars and large personalities:
"I guess I can take you and Phil Brito and Veronica and the Thrasher kids over easy enough. Might have to make two trips for Phil Davis, though."
— Doc Fiddlefaddle (19:28–19:37)
Running gag about sitting on laps and pushing the car gets the cast (and audience) laughing.
"Just last week I read a headline that said first lady to enter Buckingham Palace."
— Veronica Lagoon (29:07)
This episode captures the joyful, communal energy of 1940s radio variety shows. Expect quick-witted repartee, topical references (like WWII home front life), gentle ribbing, and toe-tapping music. The tone is breezy and good-natured, with jokes landing fast and the camaraderie of the Soda Parlor gang at the heart of the hour.
Listen if you enjoy:
Classic comedy, nostalgic music, witty wordplay, and a window into America's radio golden age.