
Golden Memories of Radio (01 of 10)
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Jack Benny
Hello again, this is Jack Benny welcoming you on behalf of the Longines Symphoniet for a warm visit to a magic world and to a golden treasure chest of memory, entertainment, excitement, drama and world history. Yep, we are going to explore the world of golden radio. I was part of radio as it developed, just as I am part of television. I share with Bing Crosby, Bob Hope, Red Skelton, George Burns, Lucille Ball, Arthur Godfrey and many others a common heritage in radio. I'd like to help you enjoy again those nostalgic moments when the family gathered together in the living room to share the make believe world of radio. We will look in on comedy, drama, suspense news and the people who made it all possible. By the nature of radio. We as performers shared with you, our listeners, the creative best in our lives. We worked together and for that reason radio became part of our growing up together. Before we get started though, I'd like to tell those of you who are just discovering the golden days of radio how it differs from today's television. Radio was really do it yourself television. Instead of a big ugly glass picture tube, you saw the performers in your own mind. You were not restricted by the boundaries of a 21 inch tube, but instead painted your own biggest life version of each moment with that loving creative brush we call imagination. Now, just in case you're out of practice, here's a little test to demonstrate the power of your imagination.
Narrator/Announcer
Now, don't Open that door, McGee.
Jack Benny
Didn't you see that fabulous closet just as clearly as though it was on the largest full color television screen imaginable? Why, every time McGee opened that door, a million Americans saw a closet in their own homes. Now let's try a more ambitious test of your imaginative power. And as we do, we'll start our sentimental journey back to the golden years of radio when that instrument was a golden cornucopia from which poured the wealth of the greatest entertainers in history. Here is Bing Crosby on his Filco Radio Time show, the Night he entertained two guests.
Jack Finney
Let me alone. I'll get it. I'll get it.
Andy Brown
Just a minute.
Jack Finney
Hey, say, you.
Bing Crosby
Have you ever played this number before?
Andy Brown
Bub?
Jack Benny (Character)
Played it? I made it.
Jack Finney
Well, I should have known. Jack Finney. Well, I certainly expected you tonight, Jack.
Bing Crosby
I expected you over, but I didn't expect to find you in the orchestra.
Jack Benny (Character)
I can't understand it. I've, I've never played so poorly.
Bing Crosby
Oh, cheer up, Jack. Sure you have.
Jack Benny (Character)
Thanks, kid, but I, I, I practiced all morning to limber up. I even washed my fingers in Duz. Duz doesn't do it.
Jack Benny
I'm dead.
Bing Crosby
But I switched to Wheaties, kid. But Jack, I thought Mary was going
Mr. Carter
to come with you.
Bing Crosby
Where is she?
Jack Benny (Character)
Oh, she stopped by the Musicians Union to pay my dues.
Bing Crosby
You belong to the Musicians union?
Jack Benny (Character)
Don't act so shy.
Bing Crosby
Well, Dan, haven't heard of that.
Jack Benny (Character)
Like that. Of course I belong to Musicians Union. I'm one of the charter members. You see, years ago I had a little band. We all joined together.
Bing Crosby
Oh, I know the group well. A drum and a guy with a bandage around his head.
Jack Benny (Character)
So far I've had nothing. Look, I don't mean the spirit of 76. My band was called Jack Benny and His Sizzling Gobblers.
Bing Crosby
Sizzling Gobblers?
Jack Benny (Character)
That's the line they gave me.
Bing Crosby
Yeah,
Jack Benny (Character)
we specialized in turkey tr.
Jack Finney
That's the lie.
Bing Crosby
And I bet your drummer had drumsticks that were really.
Jack Benny (Character)
Drumsticks. Yeah. He used to drive me crazy with that munching during my solo. Can't understand it. Bill Morrow used to write for me.
Jack Finney
Anyway, Bing.
Andy Brown
Bing.
Jack Benny (Character)
What I wanted to see you about is a business proposition. What are you going to do this summer?
Bing Crosby
I'm going to take a vacation.
Jack Benny (Character)
Well, I've got an idea where you and I could combine business with pleasure.
Bing Crosby
I'm afraid not, Jack.
Jack Benny (Character)
But, Bing, I mean, this is a chance to pick up some extra money and that never hurts.
Bing Crosby
Oh, no, it's spending that hurts, isn't it?
Jack Benny (Character)
That's, that's ridiculous. It doesn't bother me.
Mary Livingston
Don't knock it till you've tried it.
Jack Finney
Well, Mary Livingston,
Jack Benny (Character)
get a load of her. All decked out like Mrs. Astor's horse. Listen, Mary, you never get all dressed up like that on my program.
Mary Livingston
Well, how often do I sit on Bing Crosby's lap?
Jack Benny (Character)
Well, you're not on Crosby's lap.
Mary Livingston
Wait till I get rolling,
Jack Benny (Character)
Mary.
Stephen
Just kidding, Bing.
Jack Benny (Character)
Nothing will happen.
Bing Crosby
You keep out of this.
Jack Benny (Character)
Listen, I've been thinking of this for years, and I might as well. Come right out and say it. What do all the women see in Bing Crosby? Look at him. Hey, he's, you know. He's got blue eyes like mine. Blue eyes like mine.
Mary Livingston
Stop there, brother.
Jack Benny (Character)
Mary, all I want to know is did you go to the Musicians Union and pay my dues?
Narrator/Announcer
Yes.
Jack Benny (Character)
All right, Mary, where's my card?
Narrator/Announcer
Here.
Jack Benny (Character)
Just a minute. This isn't a musician's card.
Mary Livingston
Oh, I forgot to tell you. They transferred you to the Plumbers Union.
Jack Benny (Character)
The Plumbers Union?
Mary Livingston
Your plunger arrives tomorrow.
George Burns
What?
Bing Crosby
I can't wait to hear your first solo.
Jack Finney
Sleep on the beat, huh?
Jack Benny
Is your imagination getting tuned up? Good. Now, radio pioneered most of the kind of shows you see on television today. Humor, for example, breaks down into two basic formats. The variety show and the situation comedy. Both forms reached a peak in radio. I asked George Burns to select a favorite episode of the George Burns and Gracie Allen show from his own personal collection.
Gracie Allen
As the new half century gets underway, the favorite pastime seems to be choosing the outstanding men of the last half century. Magazines and newspapers have published their selections, but Gracie seems to think one important
Bing Crosby
name has been omitted.
Narrator/Announcer
Thomas Edison, Winston Churchill. How can they pick men like that to head the list?
George Burns
I'm interested to know, Gracie.
Jack Benny (Character)
Who's your choice?
Narrator/Announcer
Need you ask George? I'm thinking of a man whose glorious, romantic voice has thrilled millions.
Narrator/Additional Character
The birds are sweetly singing in perfume, flowers are bringing in the Windsor.
Narrator/Announcer
A man of charm and talent are world famous.
Gracie Allen
Gracie, this is getting embarrassing.
Narrator/Announcer
Only one man should top this list. Charles Boyer.
George Burns
Charles Boyer? You put him ahead of Edison.
Narrator/Announcer
Yep.
George Burns
Edison invented electric lights with Boyer.
Narrator/Announcer
Who needs them?
Jack Benny
Boise.
George Burns
There are. There are some pretty great men on this list.
Narrator/Announcer
Not as great as Boyer. Well, look at these names. Arturo Toscanini, conductor. How do you like that? A man who punches transfers.
George Burns
He happens to be a musical conductor.
Narrator/Announcer
All right, so he hums while he punches pants.
George Burns
Dardanella.
Narrator/Announcer
Yeah. And here. Here's another one. Einstein. Now, what did he do?
George Burns
Einstein? What did he do? He's the father of relativity.
Mary Livingston
Oh.
Narrator/Announcer
What does she do?
Liberty Mutual Customer
Relativity.
George Burns
Einstein. Yeah, she's with Warner Brothers. You know, Gracie, for a minute there, instead of Boy A, I thought that you thought that I belonged on that list of great men.
Narrator/Announcer
Oh. Oh, well, you see, George, you're my husband, and I don't think of you as a man.
George Burns
Well, thanks.
Narrator/Announcer
I mean, I. I don't think of you as a man who does anything.
George Burns
Thanks again.
Narrator/Announcer
I mean, I don't think of you as a man who does anything romantic.
George Burns
A triple thanks and stop thinking about it.
Narrator/Announcer
Now. I've hurt your feelings and I didn't mean to judge. You know I'd rather be married to you than any man on this list. Churchill, Edison, Stalin, Hitler.
George Burns
You have just earned my fourth. Thank you.
Jack Benny
When you think of the golden age of radio, you're bound to remember the performer whose hold on the heartstrings of America spanned almost three generations. Vaudeville to radio and then to television. When he died, a whole nation mourned his loss.
Eddie Kanter
I love to spend each Sunday with you as friend of friend. I'm sorry, it. I'm telling you just how I feel. I hope you feel that way too, Eddie Kanter.
Jack Benny
Of course. Now, very early in the development of radio came two characters called Sam and Henry. Once the name was changed to Amos and Andy, a new national pastime was invented. Why, I can remember walking past motion picture theaters in the 30s and seeing the signs that promised to stop the movie and turn on the radio when it came. Amos and Andy time.
Andy Brown
You know, Andy, it's a great thing for us, this job with the construction company.
Stephen
Oh yeah, and I like that Mr. Carter, the head of the company. He sure was nice to us when they give us the tools this morning.
Andy Brown
Oh yeah, he is a real gentleman. I tell you, I never met. I'll get him. Hello? George Kingfield, Steven speaking.
Mr. Carter
Hello, this is Mr. Carter of the Carter Construction Company.
Andy Brown
Oh, yes, Mr. Carter. How's you this evening?
Mr. Carter
See here, what are you and Brown trying to pull? Why didn't you show up on that porch wrecking job this morning?
Narrator/Additional Character
Where you see me?
Andy Brown
Excuse me. You say something about slowing up on that?
Mr. Carter
Why didn't you and Brown show up on that pork threatening job?
Andy Brown
Well, I. Miss Carter, Excuse me. We got a bad disconnection here.
Mr. Carter
Can't you hear what I'm saying?
Andy Brown
Yeah, I can hear what you were saying, but I know you ain't saying what I was hearing.
Stephen
Hello?
Jack Benny
Hello?
Andy Brown
Look, Ms. Carter, the phones all mess up here. I tell you what, I'll hang up and you call me right back.
Mr. Carter
Very well.
Stephen
What's the trouble, Kingsley?
Andy Brown
Oh, I don't know, Andy. The phone is messed up or my ears done jammed up on me. You take the call when the man calls back.
Stephen
Okay, I'll wait. Hello, Andy Brown speaking.
Mr. Carter
Oh, it's you, Brown. Can you hear what I'm saying?
Stephen
Oh, yes sir. Yes sir. You coming through fine.
Jack Benny
Good.
Stephen
Now, what is it you want to tell me?
Mr. Carter
I want to know why you and Stevens didn't show up direct that porch this morning.
Stephen
I hold the phone. Kingfish, get back on here. This man is all confused.
Narrator/Additional Character
Hello, Ms. Carter. Stephen's back on here.
Mr. Carter
Look, Stevens, what's going on? You and Brown are completely confused.
Narrator/Additional Character
We are confused.
Andy Brown
You is the one that's confused. We spent the whole day today wrecking the porch over at 4565Amsterdam Avenue.
Mr. Carter
4565Amsterdam Avenue. That's fine.
Andy Brown
Well, thank you, sir.
Mr. Carter
That's just great.
Andy Brown
We thought it was a nice job.
Mr. Carter
The porch you were supposed to wreck was at 666 Riverside.
Stephen
Fly.
Narrator/Additional Character
Ms. Carter. Is he there?
Eddie Kanter
Yes.
Andy Brown
Well, Ms. Carter, this time let's bull hang up. And don't nobody call nobody.
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Liberty Mutual Customer
Hey, everyone. Check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?
Safeway/Albertsons Announcer
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Liberty Mutual Announcer
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Liberty Mutual Customer
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Liberty Mutual Announcer
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Liberty Mutual Customer
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Episode: Golden Memories of Radio (01 of 10)
Date: May 11, 2026
Host: Harold’s Old Time Radio
This episode embarks on a nostalgic exploration of America’s “Golden Age of Radio.” Host Jack Benny—himself a radio legend—guides listeners through the magic and communal spirit that early radio brought into homes before the dominance of television. Listeners are treated to celebrated comedic moments, classic character interactions, and tributes to radio’s lasting cultural impact, featuring icons such as Bing Crosby, George Burns, Gracie Allen, and characters from shows like Amos & Andy.
“Instead of a big ugly glass picture tube, you saw the performers in your own mind…painted your own biggest life version of each moment with that loving creative brush we call imagination.”
— Jack Benny [02:06]
Jack Benny: “I even washed my fingers in Duz. Duz doesn’t do it... I’m dead.” [04:41]
Bing Crosby: “But I switched to Wheaties, kid.” [04:51]
Mary Livingston: “Wait till I get rolling.” [06:45]
George Burns: “Edison invented electric lights. With Boyer, who needs them?” [09:18]
Gracie Allen: “I don’t think of you as a man who does anything romantic.”
George Burns: “A triple thanks, and stop thinking about it.” [10:38]
Mr. Carter: “The porch you were supposed to wreck was at 666 Riverside.”
Stephen: “Fly.”
(Their confusion about addresses and humorous efforts to avoid blame encapsulate the farcical tone of early radio comedies.)
| Timestamp | Segment | |-------------|-----------------------------------------------------| | 01:02 | Jack Benny’s warm introduction to radio’s magic | | 02:51 | Imagination test: Fibber McGee’s closet reference | | 03:50 | Bing Crosby, Benny & Mary Livingston comedy routine | | 07:43 | Radio’s comedy legacy explained | | 08:30 | George Burns & Gracie Allen comic segment | | 11:30 | Tribute to Eddie Cantor | | 11:57 | Amos & Andy’s workplace confusion skit |
In this debut of “Golden Memories of Radio,” listeners are transported to a time when entertainment was not seen but heard, and every listener became a co-creator in the stories told. With humor, warmth, and affection for their craft, classic performers like Jack Benny, Bing Crosby, George Burns, Gracie Allen, and the cast of Amos & Andy continue to evoke laughter and nostalgia, reminding modern audiences of the enduring power of imagination and shared experience.