Granby's Green Acres 50-03-30 (0) Granby Quits His Job(Audition)

Summary

Detailed Summary of "Granby's Green Acres 50-03-30 (0) Granby Quits His Job (Audition)"

Harold's Old Time Radio presents an engaging episode titled "Granby's Green Acres 50-03-30 (0) Granby Quits His Job (Audition)," released on March 2, 2025. This episode delves into the comedic and heartfelt journey of John Granby, a city banker yearning for a simpler, more fulfilling life on a farm. Below is a comprehensive summary capturing the episode's key points, discussions, insights, and conclusions, enriched with notable quotes and timestamps.

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1. Introduction to the Granby Family

The episode introduces the Granby family dynamics, setting the stage for the ensuing conflict.

• Characters Introduced:
  • John Granby (Gale Gordon): A pragmatic banker with dreams of farming.
  • Martha Granby (Bea Benedarrett): John's patient and practical wife.
  • Janice Granby (Shirley Mitchell): Their skeptical daughter.
  • E.B. (Parley Baer): The hired hand assisting the family on their new farm.

No notable quotes in this section as it's primarily character introduction.

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2. John Granby's Financial Concerns and Dream of Farming

John Granby reviews the household accounts, revealing financial strains and his aspiration to pursue farming.

• Key Discussion:

  • John confronts Martha about overspending and introduces his desire to buy a farm as a solution to their financial woes.

• Notable Quotes:

  • John Granby [02:16]: "Martha, I've just been going over our household accounts."
  • Janice Granby [05:11]: "I think it's ridiculous, stupid and impractical."

These lines highlight the initial conflict between John’s dreams and his family’s practicality.

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3. The Clash of Dreams and Practicality

Martha and Janice express skepticism about John’s farming ambitions, citing high prices and practicality.

• Key Discussion:

  • Martha emphasizes the impossibility of sticking strictly to a budget in current economic conditions.
  • Janice outright dismisses the idea as impractical.

• Notable Quotes:

  • John Granby [03:32]: "I want to prove that I can make something of myself with my own hands."
  • Janice Granby [05:20]: "I think it's ridiculous, stupid and impractical."

This section underscores the familial tension arising from differing visions for their future.

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4. Attempt at Small-Scale Farming

John decides to start small by purchasing a window box and dirt, attempting to demonstrate farming's feasibility.

• Key Discussion:

  • John interacts with a garden supply store, showcasing his naivety and enthusiasm.

• Notable Quotes:

  • John Granby [07:28]: "A window box? Well, what's so funny?"
  • Store Clerk [07:35]: "We have about as fine an assortment of window boxes as you'll find in any garden supply store in the city."

These interactions add a comedic layer, highlighting John’s lack of practical farming knowledge.

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5. Decision to Buy a Farm

Determined to prove his point, John quits his banking job and purchases a neglected farm, surprising his family.

• Key Discussion:

  • John confronts Dave Winslow, the Clarion editor, to feature his story, leading to the purchase of the farm.

• Notable Quotes:

  • John Granby [15:14]: "Paid you the money?"
  • Martha Granby [15:15]: "No, I bought the farm."

This pivotal moment marks John's commitment to his dream, setting up future challenges.

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6. Moving to Dubville and Initial Adjustments

The Granby family relocates to Dubville, facing the harsh realities of farm life without modern amenities.

• Key Discussion:

  • Janice and Martha express concerns about the dilapidated state of their new residence and lack of utilities.

• Notable Quotes:

  • Janice Granby [17:19]: "Look at that old broken down house. It's overrun with weeds."
  • John Granby [20:34]: "Well, what about Hoover Dam? And vice versa."

This section emphasizes the gap between John's expectations and the actual conditions of farm life.

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7. Struggles and Learning on the Farm

John grapples with day-to-day farming tasks, often leading to humorous mishaps and further family tension.

• Key Discussion:

  • John attempts various farming activities like milking cows and harvesting, often with comical results.
  • Interaction with E.B. the hired hand highlights John's learning curve.

• Notable Quotes:

  • John Granby [27:34]: "I know, I know, I know. I pull down like this. She's empty."
  • Janice Granby [30:17]: "Dad, Mother and I have been talking and we think you should put this place up for sale."

These moments showcase John's perseverance and the family's growing frustration.

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8. Climax: Proving the Farm’s Viability

Despite setbacks, John manages to harvest a small crop, aiming to validate his farming endeavor.

• Key Discussion:

  • John's harvest results are presented as a success, but underlying issues persist.

• Notable Quotes:

  • John Granby [35:04]: "Yes, just look at that field. Little green things sticking their heads above the ground."

The harvest serves as a temporary victory, highlighting both progress and ongoing challenges.

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9. Conclusion and Future Implications

The episode concludes with unresolved tensions and hints at future struggles, leaving room for character development.

• Key Discussion:
  • John's back injury from strenuous work symbolizes the physical toll of farming.
  • The family's future on the farm remains uncertain, setting the stage for upcoming episodes.

No direct notable quotes in the concluding narrative.

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Overall Insights and Themes

• Pursuit of Dreams vs. Practicality: John’s unwavering desire to farm contrasts with his family's concern for financial stability and practicality.
• Adaptation and Learning: The Granby family's journey underscores the challenges of adapting to a radically different lifestyle.
• Humor and Heart: The episode balances comedic elements with heartfelt moments, making it relatable and entertaining.

Conclusion

"Granby's Green Acres 50-03-30 (0) Granby Quits His Job (Audition)" is a delightful exploration of ambition, family dynamics, and the quest for fulfillment. Through witty dialogues and relatable conflicts, the episode captures the essence of transitioning from city life to the unpredictable world of farming, promising an engaging series ahead.

Transcript

[Janice Granby]

If you work in quality control at a candy factory, you know strict safety regulations come with the job. It's why you partner with Grainger. Grainger helps you find the high quality and compliant products your business needs to inspect, detect and help correct issues. And the sweetest part is everyone gets a product that's as safe to eat as it is delicious. Call 1-800-GRAINGER clickgrainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.

[John Granby]

Granby's Green Acres Starring Gale Gordon as John Granby, Bea Benedarrett as his wife Martha. Shirley Mitchell as daughter Janice and Parley Baer as E.B. the hired hand.

[Dave Winslow]

Oh, hello there. I didn't see you for a minute. I was busy writing a story for next week's issue of the Doveville Clarion. I'm Dave Winslow, editor of the Clarion. Doveville is a nice little community. Got a healthy climate. It's 2 1/2 inches above sea level. We got a church, a firehouse, a school and a railroad station. Someday we hope to get a railroad. Well, anyway, this story I'm writing is a human interest feature called man with a B in His Bonnet. It's about a city fellow name of John Granby.

[John Granby]

Martha.

[Dave Winslow]

Yes, John worked in a bank in the city and had one of them real banking kind of minds.

[John Granby]

Martha, I've just been going over our household accounts.

[Martha Granby]

Uh, John, you've just finished eating dinner. Let it digest.

[John Granby]

Martha, do you realize that last month you spent $56 more than I made?

[Martha Granby]

Why, I don't see how that could be. John, Every time I made out a check, I entered it in the checkbook. It came out exactly even.

[John Granby]

Even?

[Martha Granby]

Well, yes. At the end of the month, there was one stub for every.

[John Granby]

What am I going to do with you? We plan a budget and you promise me faithfully that you'll stick to it. But you just ignore the budget and spend more and more money. Martha, how can you be such a Democrat?

[Martha Granby]

John, I do my best, but prices are so high.

[John Granby]

Martha. Martha, let's face it. The price of food wouldn't be any problem to us. If we'd done what I wanted to do five years ago and bought a farm, we'd be getting all our food for nothing.

[Martha Granby]

John Granby, I can't understand you. You've got a good position, a home, a wife and a daughter. But you're always talking about throwing everything away to buy a farm.

[John Granby]

But, honey, that's all I've ever dreamed about. I'm not denying that. Now I'VE got security. But I want more than that. I want to prove that I can make something of myself with my own hands. That I can succeed. Starting with nothing. Just my brain. What I'm. I mean, I can start with my brain, which is nothing. That is, my brain is something. But I thought I could start with.

[Martha Granby]

What are you trying to say?

[John Granby]

That I want to have the feeling of accomplishing something. On a farm, I'd have that feeling. I'd take a seed, a tiny little seed, and I'd plant it in the ground. Then I'd cover it up with dirt, and then I'd water it. And pretty soon, what would I have?

[Martha Granby]

A dirty little wet seed.

[John Granby]

Martha, Martha, don't you understand? A farm would give me independence. If I need an apple, I can pick it. Or if I want a potato, I can dig it. Or if I want an egg.

[Martha Granby]

You can lay it.

[John Granby]

I can lay it? Of course not. This is ridiculous, simply ridiculous.

[Janice Granby]

What's ridiculous, dad?

[John Granby]

Oh, Janice. Janice, I want to ask you a question. Okay, dad, remember, I want you to think very carefully before you give me an answer.

[Janice Granby]

Okay.

[John Granby]

What do you think of the idea of our moving to a farm?

[Janice Granby]

I think it's ridiculous, stupid and impractical.

[John Granby]

Janice, when I want your opinion, I'll ask.

[Janice Granby]

But dad, you say now.

[Martha Granby]

Now, now, let's not have any arguing. Now, John, you read your paper and Janice and I will do the dinner dishes.

[Janice Granby]

Oh, well, I did them already, Mom.

[Martha Granby]

Oh, well, thank you, dear.

[Janice Granby]

That's okay. Say, mom, what kind of meat was that we had? I never tasted anything like it.

[Martha Granby]

Oh, that wasn't meat.

[John Granby]

It wasn't tasted just like it.

[Martha Granby]

Uh, it was a rutabaga burger.

[John Granby]

A rutaburger bager burger?

[Martha Granby]

Uh huh. I found the recipe in the Ladies Home Journal.

[John Granby]

Sounds more like something you'd find in Popular Mechanics.

[Martha Granby]

Well, dear, I told you, prices today are just impossible.

[Janice Granby]

Oh, they sure are. How much did you say steak was the last time you bought it?

[Martha Granby]

A dollar and 27 cents a pound.

[John Granby]

$1.27 a pound? Why, I wouldn't pay that for meat if they sliced it off Betty Grable. Well, prices like that are just ridiculous.

[Martha Granby]

Well, if you think that's ridiculous, butter is 93 cents a pound.

[Janice Granby]

Sometimes it's been a dollar.

[John Granby]

Oh, I can't believe it. After all, what is butter? Just milk that's been pushed too far.

[Janice Granby]

You know, mom, maybe dad is right. Maybe you ought to let him buy a farm.

[Martha Granby]

Now, Janice, your father and I have already settled that.

[Janice Granby]

I was just kidding.

[John Granby]

Well, it's nothing to kid about. I think it's a wonderful idea.

[Martha Granby]

No, John.

[John Granby]

But Martha, if you don't, and I.

[Martha Granby]

Refuse to argue the point anymore. If you feel that you've got to plant something, buy yourself a. A flower pot.

[John Granby]

A power flot. Flower pot? I, I, I'm talking about something bigger.

[Martha Granby]

Then buy a window box.

[John Granby]

A window box? Well, what's so funny?

[Janice Granby]

I thought you were gonna say bindow walks.

[John Granby]

Why should I say bindow walks?

[Janice Granby]

You said power floss.

[John Granby]

Oh, well, that was a mistake. Now, where was I?

[Martha Granby]

Where were talking about a window box.

[John Granby]

Oh, yes, yes. Well, maybe I will buy a bindow box. Oh, well, all right, all right. I'll show you that even when it comes to small scale cultivation, you can save money. Now, that ought to convince you.

[Martha Granby]

John, you've been talking this way for years. What is it that makes you so anxious to be a farmer?

[John Granby]

Oh, I don't know. I guess that it's just like they say, when you gotta grow, you gotta grow.

[Dave Winslow]

Well, by now I guess you know why I call this here story in the Clarion. Man with a bee in his bonnet. Mr. Granby is the bee. And the bee he's got is the farming bee. The only trouble was that every time he tried to stick his head out of the hive, Mrs. Granby sprayed him with DDT. Of course, that didn't kill the bee. It just took a little of the buzz out of his stinger. A window box ain't a farm. But then, half a loaf is better than none.

[John Granby]

Good day, sir. What can I do for you? Uh, do you carry window boxes? Certainly, if they're not too heavy. I beg your pardon. It was a little joke. Yes, sir. We have about as fine an assortment of window boxes as you'll find in any garden supply store in the city. Good, good. I'll take one. All right. Now, will there be anything else? Yes, I'd like some dirt for it. Dirt? Oh, well, I guess we can dig some up for you. What kind do you have? Well, it's brown and it's got, when you shovel it up, it are brown. Well, it looks like it's dirt, but there are all different kinds. You see, I'm interested in farming and I've done a great deal of reading about soil. How fascinating. The ph of the soil has a great deal to do with how well a plant will grow. Really? Ph is a chemical term which indicates whether the soil is too acid or too alkaline. Well, I don't know what ours is, but I'll Be glad to let you taste such that. That won't be necessary. I'll test it when I get it home. And then if it's too acid, I can always alkalize it. What do you do? Give each plant an alka seltzer? No, no, you don't do anything like that. Well, I should hope not. That fizzing might drive a geranium out of its mind. Well, I. I'm not going to plant flowers, you see. Only vegetables. Which reminds me, I'd better buy some seeds. Certainly. What kind do you want? I told you. Vegetable. I know, but what kind of vegetables? Oh, well, I don't know. I haven't got too much room, see? How about picking out one seed of each? One seed of each? Yes, yes. What would you suggest? You wouldn't do it anyway. Wait here. I'll go back and pick them up.

[Dave Winslow]

Well, sir, Mr. Granby took his window box home and went to work planting his midget garden about two months later.

[Janice Granby]

Say, mom, it's getting late. Aren't you gonna cook dinner tonight?

[Martha Granby]

No, dear. Your father's cooking it. Dad?

[Janice Granby]

Oh, I hope we survive. No.

[Martha Granby]

I hope he survives. That's about the fifth time he's burned himself.

[Janice Granby]

What's the occasion?

[Martha Granby]

It's harvest time. Your father picked all the vegetables in his window box today and he insisted on cooking them himself.

[Janice Granby]

Oh, no.

[John Granby]

Come and get it.

[Martha Granby]

We're coming, dear. Come along, Janice.

[Janice Granby]

All right.

[John Granby]

Well, it's all finished now. Sit down, sit down, sit down.

[Martha Granby]

Thank you, dear. Would you like me to serve?

[John Granby]

No, no, I'll do it in a moment. But first I want to point something out. These two casseroles contain the results of my first vegetable crop. The total cost was approximately 4 cents a pound, which is 10 cents cheaper than they can be bought in any market. I hope I've proved my point.

[Martha Granby]

Well, you certainly have, dear.

[Janice Granby]

Good.

[Martha Granby]

For you, dad.

[John Granby]

Thanks. Thank you. Thank you. Now, Martha, if you'll pass your plates, I'll begin serving.

[Martha Granby]

Oh, here they are, John.

[John Granby]

There's Janice's.

[Janice Granby]

Thank you.

[John Granby]

Yours, dear.

[Martha Granby]

Thank you.

[John Granby]

Now, mine. There. I hope you two feel as good about this as I do because it kind of makes us all members of the farming fraternity. This is the kind of meal that millions of farm families sit down to every night.

[Janice Granby]

I can't believe it.

[John Granby]

You can't believe what?

[Janice Granby]

That so many people can live on two peas and a string bean.

[Dave Winslow]

Well, with the harvest over, Mr. Granby settled down to the normal routine of his business at the bank.

[John Granby]

Hello, dear.

[Martha Granby]

Oh, John, where have you Been all day. I called the bank and they said you were out.

[John Granby]

Well, I told you last night I had to go up to Dubville on business. Saw Mr. Parker about making a collection on his note. I went out to his farm. Ah.

[Martha Granby]

Did everything work out for you?

[John Granby]

Of course. Of course. Although that Parker was a pretty shrewd article. When I got to his place and told him I was from the bank, he wouldn't let me in. Turned his police dog loos on me.

[Martha Granby]

Oh my.

[John Granby]

But I wasn't going to let any mutt frighten me off. I looked him right in the eye and walked past him. I showed him who was the master.

[Martha Granby]

Yes. Well, dear, sit down. You must be tired.

[John Granby]

No, it hurts less if I stand. Well, I finally got Parker to let me in the house. I didn't waste any time. Parker, I said to him, you owe the City national bank some money and unless you pay, we're going to take over your farm. He finally saw the light and he.

[Martha Granby]

Paid you the money?

[John Granby]

No, I bought the farm. You are listening to Granby's Green Acres starring Gail Gordon. Now here is part two.

[Dave Winslow]

Well, Mr. Granby finally did it. He quit his job at the bank and bought a farm near our town of Dubville. That was about one of the biggest news stories I printed in the Clarion in a long while. About a month later, he and his family set out for the new house.

[John Granby]

Ah, what a day. What a day. Well, Martha, we'll soon be there. Will you please stop that crying? You've been doing it ever since we left.

[Janice Granby]

Oh, now, dad, don't nag, Mom. She feels terrible. After all, she's just left a home she's lived in for 20 years. She's left her friends, everything.

[John Granby]

Well, so have I. And I'm not crying. I'm happy. See, Martha, I'm laughing. Ha ha. Goodness sakes.

[Janice Granby]

Oh, dad, how could you do a thing like this?

[John Granby]

How could I do a thing like this? You and your mother talked me into it. Prices are too high, you said. On a farm we'd get free butter and vegetables, you said.

[Janice Granby]

Dad, we didn't mean you had to run right out and buy a farm. Why, you never even let mother or me see it.

[John Granby]

Well, I wanted it to be a surprise.

[Janice Granby]

Some surprise. How do we know what kind of a place you bought? Why. Why, it might even be like this one. We're coming through down the road. Look at that old broken down house. It's overrun with weeds. The barn is sagging. It paint. And look at that. Dad, why are you Stopping here? Is there something wrong with the car?

[John Granby]

No, Janice.

[Martha Granby]

Dad, you mean.

[John Granby]

Welcome home. Now, just let me unlock the front door. Haven't a minute. Here. There. Well, Martha, shall I carry you over the threshold? That's funny. She did the same thing on our honeymoon. Look. Look, Martha, cheer up. It's going to be all right. Now, come on, let's have a smile. That's it. Now, let me get my handkerchief and wipe away those tears. There we are. Now blow, Mother. Oh. Oh. Oh. That was just the bus going down the road.

[Martha Granby]

Little boy, giving up your job, Putting most of our savings into this place. But I guess it'll work out.

[John Granby]

Why, of course it will. Now, come on, let me show you around. Now, go through here. Now, this is the kitchen.

[Martha Granby]

Oh, my, it's large.

[John Granby]

Sure, sure. So wait till our furniture gets here. Won't it look swell with the refrigerator over there, the electric stove over there, the dishwasher there.

[Janice Granby]

Dad, do you mind if I ask you a question?

[John Granby]

Why, of course not. Go right ahead.

[Janice Granby]

Where are the electrical outlets?

[John Granby]

The electrical outlets? Why, they're. Well, they should. Well, they're usually.

[Martha Granby]

John, there aren't any outlets. And I don't see any lights either.

[John Granby]

No electricity or. Preposterous. How did Mr. Parker shave?

[Janice Granby]

Dad, this may come as a surprise to you, but there are a lot of homes in this country that don't have electricity.

[John Granby]

Well, what about Hoover Dam? And vice versa.

[Martha Granby]

Dear. There doesn't seem to be any gas either. How am I going to do the cooking?

[John Granby]

Well, I don't know. I'll see. Oh, so there are no electrical outlets, eh? What's this hole down here near the baseboard? Just let me put my hand in there and we say. Dad.

[Janice Granby]

Dad, what happened? Did you get a shot?

[John Granby]

No, no, a mouse bit me.

[Martha Granby]

A mouse? Oh, dad, Mother's made it.

[John Granby]

Get some water. Okay, okay. There's a P outside. I'll get some. I'll get some water. Water. Water. Oh, here's the pump. Here's the pump. What's the matter with this darn thing?

[E.B. the hired hand]

Hello.

[John Granby]

Hello.

[E.B. the hired hand]

Need some help?

[John Granby]

No.

[E.B. the hired hand]

Cheers to me. Like you do.

[John Granby]

Will you please leave me alone? My wife has fainted. I need some water.

[E.B. the hired hand]

You ain't gonna get any from that pump.

[John Granby]

Why not?

[E.B. the hired hand]

She needs priming.

[John Granby]

What do I prime it with?

[E.B. the hired hand]

Water?

[John Granby]

How can I prime it with water if I haven't got any water?

[E.B. the hired hand]

Get some.

[John Granby]

Where?

[E.B. the hired hand]

There's a pump three mile down the road.

[John Granby]

Oh, well, I get in my car and drive right down there.

[E.B. the hired hand]

It ain't worth it. Why not that pump needs priming, too.

[John Granby]

Well, where can I get the water to prime that pump? To get the water to prime this pump?

[E.B. the hired hand]

Six mile down the road.

[John Granby]

Are you sure that pump doesn't need priming, too?

[E.B. the hired hand]

Yeah.

[John Granby]

What makes you so positive it's a well? Look, look, this is an emergency. I've got to get some water for my.

[E.B. the hired hand]

I'll get it for you.

[John Granby]

Yeah. Oh. Oh, well, that's very neighborly of you, mister.

[E.B. the hired hand]

Name's E.B.

[John Granby]

E.B.

[E.B. the hired hand]

Used to work on this place for old man Parker. You need a hard hand.

[John Granby]

No, I don't.

[E.B. the hired hand]

Okay. I'll get the water anyway.

[John Granby]

Well, thanks, I'll appreciate.

[Janice Granby]

Dad, Mother's come, too.

[John Granby]

Oh, thank goodness. I'd better go in and see her.

[Janice Granby]

Well, I don't think I would just. Now, give her a little while to cool off.

[John Granby]

But, Janet, now, look, if you want.

[Janice Granby]

To do something, why don't you see if you can find us some sort of a stove to cook on?

[John Granby]

All right. All right, dear. Yes. Stove. Stove. Now, where can I get a stove?

[E.B. the hired hand]

Here's your water.

[John Granby]

Oh. Oh, thanks very much. Wait a second. I thought you said the well was six miles down the road.

[E.B. the hired hand]

You did?

[John Granby]

Then how did you get the water so quickly?

[E.B. the hired hand]

I had it in my car.

[John Granby]

In your car? Why didn't you say so? You didn't ask me.

[E.B. the hired hand]

Well, I guess I'll be going. You sure you don't need no hard man?

[John Granby]

I'm positive. I'm perfectly. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Didn't you say you used to work for old man Parker?

[E.B. the hired hand]

Yeah.

[John Granby]

Say, what did he use to cook with?

[E.B. the hired hand]

A stove.

[John Granby]

I assumed that. But what kind?

[E.B. the hired hand]

Wood burner.

[John Granby]

Well, do you know where I could get one?

[E.B. the hired hand]

I think Parker left his old one down behind the barn.

[John Granby]

He did? Great. Great. Say, would you give me a hand getting it into the house?

[E.B. the hired hand]

You still don't want to hire me?

[John Granby]

No.

[E.B. the hired hand]

For a man who ain't hired, I sure am doing a lot of work.

[Dave Winslow]

And so Mr. Granby settled down into the routine of farm life. And one morning, weeks later.

[Martha Granby]

John. John, wake up.

[John Granby]

What's the matter?

[Martha Granby]

The rooster is crowing.

[John Granby]

We'll turn it off.

[Martha Granby]

John, will you please get up? It's 4:30.

[John Granby]

4:30? What's the matter with you? Martha, I don't have to get to the bank till 9.

[Martha Granby]

You don't work in a bank anymore. You own a farm, remember? Now get out.

[John Granby]

No. No, no. All right, all right, all right. Oh, I could have slept if it hadn't been for that darn rooster. Sh. I never seemed to. He moved.

[Martha Granby]

John, what's the matter?

[John Granby]

My pants are cold.

[Martha Granby]

Will you please get a move on? EB Is waiting for you to help him with the milking.

[John Granby]

Oh, that EB is some hired man. I hired him to help me and I end up helping him.

[Martha Granby]

John, will you please hurry?

[John Granby]

I am, I am. Let me wash up.

[Martha Granby]

Well, there's water in the pitcher. Just pour it into the bowl.

[John Granby]

Okay. Oh, Don, what's the matter?

[Martha Granby]

Can't you find the washcloth?

[John Granby]

I've got the washcloth, but where's the ice pick?

[Martha Granby]

John, will you.

[John Granby]

I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going.

[E.B. the hired hand]

Morning, Mr. Granby.

[John Granby]

Good morning.

[E.B. the hired hand]

Sleep well?

[John Granby]

What I did of it, yes. Come on, E. Let's get going. EB do you have to be so cheerful?

[E.B. the hired hand]

I feel good. It's gonna be a beautiful day.

[John Granby]

How can you tell? The moon is still out. Oh, here's the bong.

[E.B. the hired hand]

Your boss is waiting for his sheep. You want to try milking here this morning, Mr. Granby?

[John Granby]

Of course, of course. How am I going to learn if I don't try? Let me see. Put my hands here.

[E.B. the hired hand]

A little further forward.

[John Granby]

I know, I know, I know. I pull down like this. She's empty.

[E.B. the hired hand]

No, she ain't empty. You ain't doing it right. Here, let me show you.

[John Granby]

So.

[Dave Winslow]

So.

[E.B. the hired hand]

So bossy.

[John Granby]

So.

[E.B. the hired hand]

All right, now watch me. When you pull down, you move your fingers. See?

[John Granby]

Show off.

[E.B. the hired hand]

Now you try.

[John Granby]

Okay, Okay. I don't think she likes me.

[E.B. the hired hand]

Of course she does. Now, just keep at it.

[John Granby]

All right. All right. Gently, gently.

[E.B. the hired hand]

You ain't pulling taffy.

[John Granby]

I'm being as gentle as I can. Whoa.

[E.B. the hired hand]

Go try her again.

[John Granby]

Well, I guess I'm getting the hang of it. You get it, mister. I'm milking the cow. And I said I'm getting the hang of it.

[E.B. the hired hand]

Just keep milking.

[John Granby]

All right. Well, here's the milk, Martha. Four gallons again today.

[Martha Granby]

Oh, that's fine, dear.

[Janice Granby]

Put it down over there. Dad.

[John Granby]

Yeah. This is what you wanted, Martha. Milk to make your own. Butter free. See? I'm hungry. Is there anything in the icebox?

[Janice Granby]

Yes, 200 pounds of butter.

[John Granby]

What?

[Janice Granby]

Dad, can't you sell this milk somewhere?

[John Granby]

Well, I've tried to, but the dairy won't buy milk from you unless you have a special kind of cow barn. And that costs $8,000.

[Martha Granby]

Oh, dear.

[Janice Granby]

Dad, Mother and I have been talking and we think you should put this place up for sale.

[John Granby]

You're not serious.

[Janice Granby]

Well, dad, you're just not cut out to Be a farmer.

[John Granby]

But I haven't had a real chance to try it. I think. I haven't even planted a crop yet.

[Janice Granby]

Dad, look, I've been talking to Eb. He says the land on this farm has been overworked. The soil needs care. It'll take too much time and money.

[John Granby]

Oh, what does Eb know about farming?

[Martha Granby]

Well, he's lived on one all his life.

[John Granby]

Yeah, well, I've got booklets from the Department of Agriculture. Now, look, look, I'll make you a sporting proposal. You say nothing can grow on this farm. Well, I'll bet you that I can plant a crop and harvest it. If that fails, I'm willing to admit that I was wrong and sell it.

[Janice Granby]

Oh, dad, you're just.

[Martha Granby]

Now, wait. Wait a moment, Janice. I'll take that bet, John.

[Janice Granby]

But, Mother.

[Martha Granby]

Janice, it's what your father wants.

[Janice Granby]

But, mom, you.

[Martha Granby]

Janice, I'm surprised at you. Has your father ever let us down?

[Janice Granby]

Well, no, Quincy Hassan.

[Martha Granby]

And I don't think he will now. All his life he's had his heart set on owning a farm. The worst comes to the worst, we can always go back to the city and he can get a job. But first, I think we should give him a few months to make good.

[Dave Winslow]

And so Mr. Granby went to work to prove to his wife and daughter that he could make a go of the farm. Morning, noon and night, he worked in the fields. Hoeing, milking, shoveling, pumping, raking. And inside of a month, single handed, he got the following result.

[John Granby]

It's a badly sprained back. Mrs. Granby, you'll have to stay in bed for six weeks.

[Dave Winslow]

Oh, Mr. Granby. He stayed flat on his back for almost two months. EB tended to things for him. And then came the day he could get up and look at his crop.

[John Granby]

Martha, would you please get me my shoes? I left them downstairs.

[Martha Granby]

All right, dear.

[John Granby]

Oh, boy. This is the day. Just wait till you see that field I planted. I'll show you if I'm a farmer or not.

[Martha Granby]

Yes, dear.

[John Granby]

Well, get my shoes.

[Martha Granby]

All right.

[Janice Granby]

How's dad?

[Martha Granby]

He's yelling again, so he must be better. He wants to go down and see the field he planted.

[Janice Granby]

Mom, does he know?

[Martha Granby]

No. I couldn't bear to tell him. While he was in bed suffering that.

[Janice Granby]

Way, nothing grew, not even a weed.

[Martha Granby]

E.B. said he did his best, but. Oh, Janice, I just don't know what this disappointment will do to your father.

[Janice Granby]

Mom, if something did grow in that field, you know what it would mean. We'd be stuck here on this Farm?

[Martha Granby]

Well, yes, but I wouldn't mind. Just as long as your father was happy. Somehow I've got a lot of confidence in him. I think he can make a go of this farm.

[Janice Granby]

Mom, listen, can you stall him for a half hour?

[Martha Granby]

Well, I think so, dear. But why?

[Janice Granby]

I've got to get to that vegetable store in town. Stall him as long as you can.

[John Granby]

Martha. Martha, can't you walk any faster?

[Janice Granby]

Oh, yes, dear, but I'm worried about your bag.

[John Granby]

Never mind my bag. If I didn't know you better, I'd think you were trying to stall.

[Martha Granby]

Why, John, Why should I do that?

[John Granby]

I don't know. Where's Janice?

[Martha Granby]

Well, I think she went down to the field to meet us. She? Oh, yes, There she is. Janice.

[John Granby]

Janice.

[Janice Granby]

Hello, Dad. I came down here.

[John Granby]

Janice. Janice, will you get out of my way? I can't. Martha. Look. There are things growing. Growing things. They're growing. Growing, growing things. They are. They're growing.

[Martha Granby]

Yes, dad.

[John Granby]

And you two said that this land wasn't any good. But I told you I'd make things grow. I told you.

[Martha Granby]

Oh, you sure did.

[John Granby]

Yes, just look at that field. Little green things sticking their heads above the ground. I've got to pick one.

[Martha Granby]

Oh, John, be careful of your back.

[John Granby]

Look, look, look, Martha. Carrot. It's amazing, simply amazing.

[Martha Granby]

Why is it amazing? You planted a seed, covered it with dirt, watered it, and pretty soon, what do you get? A carrot.

[John Granby]

Well, that's what's so amazing about it. This is where I planted tomato. You have just heard the first episode of Granby's Green Acres, starring Gail Gordon. Granby's Green Acres was written and directed by Jay Summers. Music was composed and conducted by Opie Cates. This is Bob Lamond speaking. This is cbs, the Columbia Broadcast Museum.