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Happy the Humbug
My name is Happy the Humbug. And I want to tell you something else too. Although I'm a real live pedigree humbug, Christmas to me is hardly humbug. That's why I'm so anxious to see the present that the pink elephant is going to give me. Uh, oh, I guess I'll have to wait because here comes Willie the Wiz.
Willie the Wiz
For a long time now, Happy the Humbug has been saying, Christmas is coming.
Happy the Humbug
Christmas is coming. And I'm a poor, lowly hearted, sad, parentless boy.
Willie the Wiz
Yes, Happy was very miserable because he was born without parents, which is a common occurrence among humbugs. He was born without parents and was absolutely certain that he wouldn't receive any Christmas presents.
Happy the Humbug
That's a terrible thing to happen to someone like me. Six going on seven.
Willie the Wiz
That is how Happy felt for a long, long time. But today, well, how shall I say it? Today is the most wonderful day of the year. You see, this is Christmas Day.
Happy the Humbug
Merry Christmas, everybody.
Hunky
Merry Christmas for me too.
Willie the Wiz
Now, Happy has had a very trying time of it that we all know he's had the most terrible problems. But today is Christmas. Christmas Day. No matter how I say it, no matter how I think it, I can express it only in one word. Christmas. And it's a wonderful day for Happy too.
Happy the Humbug
Oh, I gotta admit it. Yes, it is a wonderful day. Cause I'm gonna get a present today. I'm still not somebody's son. But the pink elephant has promised me a present. Isn't that wonderful?
Hunky
Yes.
Willie the Wiz
Within his pink body, the pink elephant has a large pink heart. Happy and Hunky are waiting for him in front of his favorite wall. They are waiting for the wonderful present. The wondrous pink elephant will bring Happy on this wonderful day.
Happy the Humbug
Oh, golly. I hope he doesn't keep us very long, Hunky. I sure am anxious to see what he's gonna give me.
Hunky
I'll bet he'll bring you something just as nice as this new pair of shiny blue serge pants I was given. Happy. I bet it'll be even nicer.
Happy the Humbug
You know, I'm pretty lucky when you come to think of it. Having a pal like you and a grown up friend like the pink elephant. Oh, it almost makes up for a couple of parents. Almost.
Hunky
Thank you, Happy. You know, that's very kind of you and I, uh. Oh, look. There comes the pink elephant now. Oh, look at what he's carrying.
Happy the Humbug
Oh, yeah. Golly. Golly. Pink Aleph. Pink Aleph.
Hunky
Merry Christmas, Pink Alibab.
Pink Elephant
Merry Christmas.
Happy the Humbug
Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.
Willie the Wiz
Oh, what a beautiful sight for such a beautiful day. For out the wood, the pink elephant ran at a very fast pace. With a hop and a span. And behind him he carried a huge Christmas box. Covered with tinsel and bells and shamrock.
Happy the Humbug
Oh, gosh, what a big gift box.
Pink Elephant
And heavy, too. Here, just let me put it down for a moment.
Hunky
Why, it's bigger than the humbug. It's big enough for him to live in it.
Pink Elephant
It's a very special gift, lads. Special for Happy the Humbug.
Happy the Humbug
Oh, thank you. Can we open it now?
Willie the Wiz
Huh?
Pink Elephant
Oh, not so fast. This is special. And there is a special ceremony attached to this. Before I can open this gift box, I must do a dance with it on my favorite wall. Up I go.
Hunky
Yes.
Willie the Wiz
The box and the elephant first did a dance. A delicate twirl, then a spring, then a prance, and then.
Pink Elephant
That's enough. I'll come down now and open it.
Hunky
Up.
Happy the Humbug
Well, come on now. Let me see what I want to open.
Willie the Wiz
Yes. The wondrous pink elephant stood on his toes and opened the box with his very pink nose.
Pink Elephant
There, lads, it's open. And what do you think is in it? Happy? Just what do you think?
Happy the Humbug
I. I don't know.
Father Humbug
Hello, Happy, my son.
Mother Humbug
Happy, my darling little son.
Happy the Humbug
Son. Son. Oh, Collie. A mother and father for me?
Father Humbug
Yes. I'm your new father.
Mother Humbug
And I'm your new mother.
Happy the Humbug
And you look just like me. You're humbugs, aren't you? Humbugs. Hunky. At last I'm a son. And I'm not the son of a turtle. Cause I have a turtle's back. Or the son of a monkey because of my monkey's tail.
Hunky
I'm not even the son of a giraffe. Cause your head and necks are giraffes.
Happy the Humbug
No. I'm the son of a humbug. Real live Mama and Papa humbugs. Can I kiss you, Mother?
Mother Humbug
Of course you may, dear.
Father Humbug
Say, how about me?
Happy the Humbug
I just love to kiss you, Father. Boy, if I knew what I was missing before, I'd be twice as unhappy.
Father Humbug
Son as your new two parents. I think we're quite smart, for we.
Mother Humbug
Know what's close to a little boy's heart on a bright Christmas morn. So we've brought many things.
Willie the Wiz
Oh.
Happy the Humbug
Oh. Look what's in the box, too.
Hunky
Some marbles and skates.
Happy the Humbug
And a shiny new bike with a large bell that rings. Oh, Mother and Father. This is the most wonderful day in my life. Pink elephant, you're such a peach to Bring me two parents. And my parents are so peachy to bring such catchy toys.
Pink Elephant
I'm gonna cry. You keep on talking that way. Which is not a bad idea after all, because we'll need some strawberry tears for what I've planned.
Hunky
Oh, what have you planned? Pink elephant applause.
Pink Elephant
Me and a little strawberry syrup won't hurt.
Willie the Wiz
Yes, they had a party. A Christmas party. A wonderful Christmas party. A wonderful Christmas party. For it was a wonderful Christmas day. And you know what Happy did most besides kissing his new parents? He laughed. And he laughed. It was a wonderful laugh. Very fitting for a wonderful party on a wonderful day. And he played with his bunch of remarkable toys. Some that were quiet and some that made noise. And for hours and hours and hours thereafter they danced to the tune of happy glad laughter.
Pink Elephant
Look who wants to get into this party.
Happy the Humbug
Huck, can we get in?
Pink Elephant
Yes. Can we join you?
Hunky
Well, it's Christmas. Maybe we can be generous today, huh? What do you say, Happy?
Happy the Humbug
Well if they promise not to tell any cock and bull stories, we promise.
Pink Elephant
We certainly do.
Happy the Humbug
Cross your hearts and kiss your little pinkies. Absolutely.
Pink Elephant
I'll kiss my pinky too.
Happy the Humbug
Well then let them in. Let em join the party. Oh, thank you so much.
Pink Elephant
Mmm, from the bottom of our heart. Is that the bum stare I see Pinky behind a tree.
Bumpsteer
Yes it is I. And I have repented. I'm truly sorry. Can't I join the party too? I'll cross my heart and kiss my little finger too if you want me to.
Happy the Humbug
Oh, okay Bumpsteer. I should really be mad at you, but today is Christmas. Today is a wonderful day and I can afford to be generous. Join the party. Oh.
Bumpsteer
Oh thank you so much. Thank you.
Pink Elephant
Thank you.
Hunky
Am I having fun? Uh huh. I wish Christmas came every day in the year.
Willie the Wiz
It can come every day in the year Hunky. It certainly can. Who said that? I did.
Happy the Humbug
Say. Have you been here all the time?
Willie the Wiz
I've been with you through your complete story.
Happy the Humbug
Wow. Can you beat that?
Hunky
Well, who are you?
Willie the Wiz
I'm the lady fair who has helped tell your story.
Happy the Humbug
Merry Christmas lady fair.
Hunky
Merry Christmas too.
Willie the Wiz
Merry Christmas to all of you.
Happy the Humbug
Oh, you were saying something, lady Fairy.
Willie the Wiz
Yes I was.
Happy the Humbug
Well, well, well. Willison, go on.
Willie the Wiz
I was saying that every day in the year could be like Christmas day.
Hunky
Oh, that would be so wonderful.
Willie the Wiz
How we can keep Christmas all year round. If all the grown ups in this world just used their heads and planned a way to keep a smile on every young child's face. If all the grown ups in this world just Use their heads. And planned a way to keep the tummies of their children full. And planned a way to keep the sniffles from their noses. And planned a way to use the many wondrous things that are locked up inside of every young child's brain Waiting to unfold like a flower's bud as the child grows into manhood. If all the grown ups in this world just used their heads and taught themselves to live among themselves in peace. For that is the way to live in security. For that is the way to live in tolerance of others. For that is the way to live. If all the grown ups of this world just used their heads and then taught all these wondrous things to all the children of the world. We would have Christmas all year round. And we shall say more than only once a year. Merry Christmas to you all.
Pink Elephant
Merry Christmas to you all. I'd say that standing still or dancing on my favorite wall.
Happy the Humbug
Merry Christmas to your wall.
Pink Elephant
Mmm. And that's not a cock and bull story.
Bumpsteer
Merry Christmas to you all. El I'll not give you a bum steal.
Hunky
Merry Christmas to you all. And that goes double on Christmas.
Mother Humbug
Merry Christmas to you all from a new mother.
Father Humbug
And Merry Christmas to you all from a new father.
Happy the Humbug
Merry Christmas, everybody. And I want to tell you something else too. Although I'm a real live pedigree. Humbug. What I have just said is hardly humbug.
Willie the Wiz
Merry Christmas.
Pink Elephant
Merry Christmas.
Mother Humbug
Oh, you're tired, happy. You've had a long day. Now say your prayers and go to bed.
Happy the Humbug
Will you listen, Mother? And you too, Father.
Father Humbug
Of course, son.
Happy the Humbug
Cause no one has ever listened to my. Now I lames before, and I say them every night.
Mother Humbug
We'll listen, son.
Happy the Humbug
God bless Mother, God bless Father. And God bless Hunky, my best friend. And the pink elephant. And the cock and bull. And the bum steer and Lady Fair. And God was happy. And keep happy a good boy. Merry Christmas, everybody.
Podcast Summary: Happy the Humbug (Episode 12)
Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Host/Author: Harolds Old Time Radio
Episode Title: Happy the Humbug
Release Date: February 27, 2025
Introduction
In Episode 12 of Harold's Old Time Radio, titled "Happy the Humbug," listeners are transported back to the Golden Age of Radio, where timeless stories and memorable characters come to life through engaging performances. This heartwarming Christmas tale centers around Happy the Humbug, a character who defies his typical grumpy nature to embrace the festive spirit. The episode weaves themes of family, generosity, and the magic of Christmas, making it a delightful listen for audiences of all ages.
Main Plot
Happy the Humbug begins with Happy expressing his unique relationship with Christmas. Unlike the stereotypical humbug who despises the holiday, Happy eagerly anticipates it, despite his lonely existence.
Happy's Loneliness and Anticipation
Happy introduces himself and his feelings towards Christmas:
He reveals his longing for a present from the Pink Elephant, hinting at underlying sadness:
Introduction of Willie the Wiz
Willie the Wiz enters the scene to shed light on Happy's plight:
He explains Happy's lack of parents and his despair over not receiving Christmas presents:
Christmas Day Arrives
Despite Happy's initial misery, Christmas Day brings a turn of events:
Happy's excitement builds as he anticipates his gift:
The Pink Elephant's Arrival
The Pink Elephant makes a grand entrance, carrying a large, festive box:
A ceremonial dance precedes the opening of the gift, adding a magical atmosphere:
Revelation of Happy's New Parents
The moment of truth arrives as Happy opens the box to find his new parents:
Happy's joy is palpable as he embraces his new family:
Celebration and Generosity
The arrival of Happy's parents leads to a joyous Christmas party:
Happy's happiness is further amplified as he receives new toys and enjoys time with his friend Hunky:
Extending the Christmas Spirit
The Pink Elephant promotes the idea of keeping the Christmas spirit alive throughout the year:
This message underscores the episode's central theme of perpetual generosity and kindness.
Closing Blessings
The episode wraps up with heartfelt Christmas greetings from all characters, reinforcing the spirit of the holiday:
Notable Quotes with Timestamps
Themes and Insights
Redefining Happiness: Happy the Humbug's transformation from a lonely, parentless figure to a joyous individual with a family embodies the true essence of Christmas—finding happiness through love and connection.
Generosity and Giving: The Pink Elephant's gift symbolizes the importance of giving, not just material presents but also the gift of family and companionship.
Perpetual Holiday Spirit: The episode encourages maintaining the goodwill and generosity of Christmas throughout the year, highlighting how continuous kindness can foster a harmonious society.
Community and Acceptance: The inclusion of characters like Bumpsteer, who seeks forgiveness, emphasizes the value of acceptance and the joy of coming together as a community.
Conclusion
"Happy the Humbug" is a quintessential Christmas tale that blends classic radio storytelling with timeless messages of love, generosity, and the enduring spirit of the holiday season. Through engaging dialogue, memorable characters, and a heartfelt narrative, this episode of Harold's Old Time Radio captures the magic of Christmas and the profound impact of kindness and familial bonds. Whether you're a longtime fan or a new listener, Episode 12 offers a delightful and meaningful experience that resonates with the true heart of Christmas.