Hollywood Casting Office 1935 Ep001 Mr Gad Zooks

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Hollywood Casting Office 1935 Ep001 – “Mr Gad Zooks”

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Host: Harolds Old Time Radio
Original Air Date: October 18, 2025
Episode Context: A comedic, behind-the-scenes slice of life in a vintage Hollywood casting office, populated with eccentric characters, showbiz banter, and lively musical performances, all delivered in the classic rapid-fire style of 1930s radio.

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Overview

This episode of Hollywood Casting Office transports listeners back to the bustling, chaotic, and sometimes absurd world of a 1930s Hollywood casting agency. Through a series of comical auditions, desperate actors, and skeptical casting directors, the show affectionately pokes fun at the entertainment industry’s inner workings, while also featuring period-appropriate musical interludes and witty repartee befitting the Golden Age of Radio.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Life in the Casting Office (Starts ~00:31)

• The episode opens as the Casting Director and Assistant juggle an array of hopefuls and quirky performers, fielding phone calls and scheduling auditions in a frenzied, matter-of-fact tone.
• Humorous negotiations take place, such as with Henry Hockboomer, who debates whether to wear a fall or summer suit for a mere $5, poking fun at the meager pay and high demands of showbiz work.

2. Meet Mr. Gadzooks (02:35–03:40)

• The episode’s main character, Mr. Gadzooks, arrives and insists (repeatedly) that he is an actor of great pedigree:

  "I am an actor, madam. 20 years with Irving, madam." (Mr. Gadzooks, 02:35)

• Sharp banter with the Casting Assistant and Director underscores the precariousness of fame and the indignity of auditions, especially for a veteran thespian feeling out of place in “motion pictures.”
  • Notable quip on his correspondence:

    Casting Assistant: "Landladies, I suppose." (03:07)

• Gadzooks gives a melodramatic delivery of the "Alas, poor Yorick" speech, lacking in commitment, drawing sarcastic remarks:

  Casting Director: “That was fair. But you didn't put enough fire into your speech.” (03:24)
  Casting Assistant: “Sound to me like he didn't put enough of his speech in the fire.” (03:28)

3. Studio Chaos and Musical Rehearsals (03:45–06:11)

• After Gadzooks exits in a huff, the episode shifts to Stage Six, where the Director oversees a chaotic musical number with a quartet of “native boys,” all in good-natured period stereotype.
• An extended comic bit concerns trying to find a proper “grass Scotch,” delaying the shoot.

4. More Talent Troubles (06:11–07:15)

• The Director and Sam lament the challenges of wrangling actors, including a French actress whose thick Brooklyn accent persists despite six weeks with an English tutor.

  Sam: “She's had the English tutor for six weeks and you can still tell she comes from Brooklyn.” (06:20)

• The notion of “eccentric dancers” not growing on trees yields another round of wordplay, keeping the tone light and playful.

5. Comic Relief: Oysters and Waitress Singers (06:44–10:54)

• The Assistant complains of feeling ill after bad oysters, leading to a rapid-fire exchange:

  Casting Director: “Were they fresh?”
  Casting Assistant: “Why, oysters? Can't talk silly.”
  (06:49–06:51)

• A trio of ambitious waitresses-turned-singers (“they’ve studied in Paris!”) delivers a crowded, jazzy rendition of "Dinah," full of period slang and exuberance (07:53–09:42).

6. The Audition Humor Peaks (11:00–14:09)

• Jesse Cry auditions with self-deprecating jokes:

  Mr. Green: “Then how did you get your eyes swollen like that?”
  Jesse Cry: “Oh, dad. You see, I'm married, Mr. Green.”
  Mr. Green: “You mean, you fight with your wife?”
  Jesse Cry: “No, sir. I suffer with matrimonial dyspepsia.”
  Mr. Green: “Matrimonial dyspepsia? What is that?”
  Jesse Cry: “My wife don't agree with me.”
  (11:24–11:35)

• Jesse then delivers a sentimental performance of "Lady Be Good," shifting from humor to a surprisingly heartfelt number (11:44–13:21).

7. Final Comic Sketches & Closing Banter (13:21–14:09)

• In a final meta moment, the Casting Director is accosted for a loan:

  Mr. Jameson: “I only came in to borrow a dollar.”
  Casting Director: “You have a lot of nerve asking me for a dollar. Most fellows only ask for a dime.”
  Mr. Jameson: “Look, Mr. Jameson, either give me the dollar or don't give me the dollar, but don't try to tell me how to run my business.”
  (13:31–13:46)

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Memorable Quotes Summary

• "I am an actor, madam. 20 years with Irving, madam."
  — Mr. Gadzooks, 02:35

• "Sound to me like he didn't put enough of his speech in the fire."
  — Casting Assistant, 03:28

• "She's had the English tutor for six weeks and you can still tell she comes from Brooklyn."
  — Sam, 06:20

• "My wife don't agree with me."
  — Jesse Cry, 11:35

• "Either give me the dollar or don't give me the dollar, but don't try to tell me how to run my business."
  — Mr. Jameson, 13:41

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Important Timestamps

• 00:31: Casting office opens, welcoming chaos
• 02:35: Introduction of Mr. Gadzooks
• 03:15: Gadzooks’ Shakespearean audition
• 06:17: Complaints about foreign stars and dancers
• 07:53: Waitress trio sings "Dinah"
• 11:16: Jesse Cry’s comic audition for Mr. Green
• 11:50–13:21: "Lady Be Good" performance
• 13:31: Closing comic exchange over a borrowed dollar

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Tone & Style

True to its radio roots, the episode crackles with fast-paced, quick-witted exchanges, slapstick situational humor, and a blend of corny jokes and vaudeville-style puns. The performances are broad and exaggerated, capturing the spirit and charm of classic broadcast comedy.

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Conclusion

“Mr Gad Zooks” is a loving send-up of Hollywood’s golden age, complete with eccentric performers, casting mishaps, and earnest showbiz dreams. The episode’s blend of jokes, music, and affectionate satire immerses the listener in vintage radio’s unique magic—delivering laughs, toe-tappers, and memorable characters along the way.

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Transcript

[Narrator]

Limu Emu and Doug.

[Documentary Narrator]

Here we have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

[Casting Assistant]

Uh, Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us?

[Documentary Narrator]

Cut the camera. They see us.

[Narrator]

Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty.

[Mr. Jameson]

Liberty.

[Sam]

Liberty. Liberty.

[Narrator]

Savings vary. Underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts.

[Casting Director]

Hollywood Casting Office. Lights, camera, action.

[Mr. Jameson]

Ready on stage six for the lineup.

[Casting Assistant]

Hollywood Casting Office. Henry Hockboomer. Yes, we can use you tomorrow. 8:30, weather permitting. Pays $5. Wear your fall suit. What's that you say? You won't do falls for $5? All right, then. Wear a summer suit. Come in, come in. My goodness.

[Mr. Gadzooks]

How do you do, madam? I am an actor, madam. 20 years with Irving, Madam. Is the casting director in, madam?

[Casting Assistant]

No, madam. That is, he went out to lunch.

[Mr. Gadzooks]

Will he be back after lunch?

[Casting Assistant]

No, that's what he went out after.

[Mr. Gadzooks]

Motion pictures.

[Sam]

Bah.

[Mr. Gadzooks]

I should never have left Broadway. Gad ods, bodkins and Gad zooks.

[Casting Assistant]

Oh, here comes the casting director now. Oh, Mr. Jameson, this is Mr. Gadzooks.

[Casting Director]

How do you do, Mr. Zooks? What experience have you had?

[Mr. Gadzooks]

Experience? I'm a good man. For 20 years I trouped with a traveling show. And I'll have you understand that I received letters from ladies all over the country.

[Casting Assistant]

Landladies, I suppose.

[Casting Director]

Mr. Zooks, would you give us a sample of your ability?

[Mr. Gadzooks]

With pleasure.

[Jesse Cry]

Oh, score.

[Mr. Gadzooks]

And 20 years ago was the time for every good man to come to the aid of his party. Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him well.

[Casting Director]

Just a minute. Just a minute. That was fair. But you didn't put enough fire into your speech.

[Casting Assistant]

Sound to me like he didn't put enough of his speech in the fire.

[Mr. Gadzooks]

Picture studios, casting officers.

[Singer]

Bah.

[Mr. Gadzooks]

And a fie on both of you.

[Casting Assistant]

Quick. Willie the Fie Swatter.

[Mr. Gadzooks]

Bah.

[Casting Director]

Poor fellow. When he sees those other people out there, he'll be green with envy.

[Casting Assistant]

Well, at least his coat's green now.

[Casting Director]

Yes, now, Ms. Hap, I have to rush next door to stage six. They're shooting a sequence in that Tahitian picture. Boy, oh boy. What boy? And I want to see how that quartet of native boys I hired last week, just see how they're getting along.

[Casting Assistant]

All right, Mr. Jameson.

[Casting Director]

Hello, Sam. How is everything going?

[Jesse Cry]

Oh, hello.

[Sam]

But pretty good, if I don't say so myself.

[Casting Director]

Are you just about ready to shoot that musical sequence?

[Casting Assistant]

Yeah.

[Sam]

We were held up all morning waiting for the grass Scotch. And that was the last straw. There, we're all ready. All right.

[Singer]

Quiet. Que bayak.

[Sam]

All right, go ahead.

[Casting Director]

Lights.

[Mr. Gadzooks]

Turn them over.

[Casting Director]

Speed.

[Mr. Gadzooks]

Action.

[Casting Director]

Take five.

[Mr. Gadzooks]

Production H. Mr. Speaker. Sabini nave.

[Sam]

The spies are all right, but I'm glad you dug them up for this picture. But I wish you had that French star back.

[Casting Director]

Why are you still having trouble with her accent?

[Jesse Cry]

Avi?

[Sam]

She's had the English tutor for six weeks and you can still tell she comes from Brooklyn. And those eccentric dances I hide from you weren't funny either.

[Casting Director]

I know, Sam, but we all make mistakes. That's why we have Leno. Besides, eccentric dancers don't grow on trees.

[Casting Assistant]

I know that.

[Sam]

Whoever saw a tree with wobbly limbs?

[Casting Director]

All right, well, I've got to get back to my auditions. Thanks for inviting me over, Sam. Well, I'm back, Ms. App. Why, what's the matter with you?

[Casting Assistant]

You look ill. No, I don't feel well, Mr. Jameson. I think it's the oysters I ate last night.

[Casting Director]

Were they fresh?

[Casting Assistant]

Why, oysters? Can't talk silly.

[Casting Director]

No, but you can. Look, what I mean is, maybe the oysters were spoiled. Why did. What did they look like when you opened them?

[Casting Assistant]

Oh, do you have to open them?

[Casting Director]

A fine assistant I've got. Well, if you don't feel well, perhaps you'd better go home.

[Casting Assistant]

Oh, I can't go home.

[Casting Director]

Why?

[Casting Assistant]

Because I'm in the end of this program.

[Casting Director]

Ms. Hap, please. Now, are there any more people to be interviewed today?

[Casting Assistant]

Yes. There are three waitresses from the commissary that want to sing. They've studied in Paris.

[Casting Director]

Waitresses. And they've studied in Paris. Well, well, who paid for their trip?

[Casting Assistant]

Their neighbors.

[Casting Director]

Very well. Let me hear them.

[Casting Assistant]

All right. All right, Girls, come in. Mr. Jamison will hear you. Now.

[Sam]

Look.

[Singer]

La la la la la Is there anyone finer in the state of Carolina? If there is a D every night why do I shake with pride? Because my dynamite Change your mind about the dynamite Change your mind about me Dinah, if you want me to China how would happen Oceanina if we be redundant? Is there anyone finer in the state of Carolina? Then my sugar baby died she's a ho I just sit around crazy eyes blazing How I love why was I born under the southern sky? To be tormented by those ichthyos all that I've had is with misery.

[Jesse Cry]

O.

[Singer]

Lord, bring back my diamond to me.

[Casting Director]

Well, thank you, girls. That was splendid. Now, just fill out those cards and leave them with Ms. Happ. And I'll call you when I have something for you, Ms. Hap. Who's next?

[Casting Assistant]

Well, Mr. Green, the director's waiting to talk to you about some people he needs for his next picture. And there's a singer to see you too.

[Casting Director]

Fine. I'll go out and talk to both of them. Well, well, hello, Mr. Green. Glad to see you. Oh, is this the singer, Ms. Hap?

[Casting Assistant]

Yes, sir.

[Casting Director]

All right, my man. This is Mr. Green, one of our ace directors. That is, so far. He's just directed one picture. I'd like to have you sing for him.

[Jesse Cry]

My name is Jesse cry, Mr. Green, and I'd like to sing for you.

[Mr. Green]

Well, I'm glad to know you, but did you sing for someone else this afternoon?

[Jesse Cry]

No, sir.

[Mr. Green]

Then how did you get your eyes swollen like that?

[Jesse Cry]

Oh, dad. You see, I'm married, Mr. Green.

[Mr. Green]

You mean, you fight with your wife?

[Jesse Cry]

No, sir. I suffer with matrimonial dyspepsia.

[Mr. Green]

Matrimonial dyspepsia? What is that?

[Jesse Cry]

My wife don't agree with me.

[Mr. Green]

You do comedy too? I think. You think? I thought you wanted to sing.

[Singer]

I do.

[Mr. Green]

Well, then sing.

[Casting Director]

Yes.

[Jesse Cry]

I want to dedicate this song to my wife.

[Mr. Green]

You mean a cat of your eye?

[Singer]

Yes.

[Jesse Cry]

Oh, see that lovely lady, be good oh, lady, be good to me.

[Singer]

I've.

[Jesse Cry]

Been so misunderstood oh, lady, be good to me Won't you please have a little pity? Cause I'm all alone in this big.

[Singer]

City.

[Jesse Cry]

I'm like a babe that's been lost in the woods Old lady, be good to me that's very nice, Jesse.

[Mr. Green]

What we need in this third reel of the picture is a distinct novelty. Something out of the ordinary.

[Jesse Cry]

Well, how would you like to hear me yodel and play the guitar?

[Mr. Green]

Well, I know you can yodel, but you have no guitar.

[Jesse Cry]

Don't you Worry about that, Mr. Green. You just leave that one to me. Oh, sweet and lovely oh, lady, be good oh, lady, be good to you I've been so misunderstood Old lady, be good to me.

[Singer]

I'm like a babe.

[Jesse Cry]

That'S been lost in a wood Won't let it be good to me.

[Casting Director]

Well, that was fine, Mr. Cryer, I'm afraid of this, but I'll take a chance. Come in.

[Mr. Jameson]

Mr. Jameson.

[Casting Director]

Yes. And you're the fellow who keeps breaking into my office all the time.

[Mr. Jameson]

Well, there had to be a laugh here somewhere. Besides, I only came in to borrow a dollar.

[Casting Director]

You have a lot of nerve asking me for a dollar. Most fellows only ask for a dime.

[Mr. Jameson]

Look, Mr. Jameson, either give me the dollar or don't give me the dollar, but don't try to tell me how to run my business.

[Casting Director]

Isn't that too bad? Well, goodbye, everybo.

[Singer]

Sam it.

[Narrator]

Limu Emu and Doug.

[Documentary Narrator]

Here we have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

[Casting Assistant]

Uh, Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us?

[Documentary Narrator]

Cut the camera. They see us.

[Narrator]

Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty.

[Mr. Jameson]

Liberty.

[Sam]

Liberty.

[Narrator]

Liberty Savings Fairy Unwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts.