Hollywood Casting Office 1935 Ep001 Mr Gad Zooks

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio – "Hollywood Casting Office 1935 Ep001 Mr Gad Zooks"

Episode Overview

In the inaugural episode of "Hollywood Casting Office 1935," titled "Mr. Gad Zooks," host Harold's Old Time Radio transports listeners back to the Golden Age of Radio. Set in a bustling Hollywood casting office during the mid-1930s, the episode offers an engaging glimpse into the behind-the-scenes dynamics of film auditions, director interactions, and the colorful personalities striving for stardom in the era before television captivated families nationwide.

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Setting the Scene: The Bustling Casting Office

The episode opens with the animated sounds of a lively casting office. Mr. Jameson exclaims, "Hollywood casting office. Lights, camera, action" at [00:01], immediately immersing listeners in the vibrant atmosphere of film production. Sam, another key player, responds promptly, "Ready on stage six for the lineup" at [00:09], indicating the anticipation of upcoming auditions.

Ms. Hap, presumably the receptionist, greets Henry Hockboomer with the line, "Hollywood casting office. Henry Hockboomer. Yes, we can use you tomorrow. 8:30, weather permitting. Pays $5. Wear your fall suit" at [00:17]. The ensuing exchange humorously reveals Hockboomer's reluctance, leading Ms. Hap to suggest, "Wear a summer suit" at [00:57], highlighting the light-hearted yet professional tone of the office interactions.

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Mr. Gadzooks' Audition: A Glimpse into Aspiring Stardom

Enter Mr. Gadzooks, an eager actor seeking a role. At [02:03], Ms. Hap welcomes him, prompting his formal introduction: "How do you do, madam? I am an actor, madam. 20 years with Irving, madam. Is the casting director in, madam?" This humorous repetition underscores the formality and perhaps the anxiety actors felt during auditions.

As Mr. Gadzooks reminisces, "I should never have left Broadway. E gad ods bodkins and Gad zooks" at [02:18], his frustration with the transition into motion pictures becomes evident. Ms. Hap introduces him to Mr. Jameson, the casting director, who requests a sample of his talent at [02:29].

Mr. Zooks delivers a dramatic monologue: "And 20 years ago was the time for every good man to come to the aid of his party. Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him well" at [02:47]. While Mr. Jameson appreciates the effort, he critiques, "You didn't put enough fire into your speech" at [02:54], prompting Ms. Hap to quip, "Sound to me like he didn't put enough of his speech in the fire" at [02:58]. This exchange highlights the high standards and critical feedback inherent in the casting process.

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Behind the Scenes: Director Green and Production Realities

Mr. Jameson abruptly leaves to oversee a shooting sequence for a Tahitian picture, exclaiming, "Poi and I want to see how that quartet of native boys I hired last week to see how they're getting along" at [03:15]. This sudden departure underscores the fast-paced nature of film production, where casting and shooting schedules often intertwine.

At [03:22], Mr. Green, presumably a director, engages in casual banter about a French star struggling with her accent: "She's had the English tutor for six weeks and you can still tell she comes from Brooklyn" at [05:42]. Mr. Jameson consoles him, "we all make mistakes. That's why we have Reno" at [05:57], referencing the famous Reno auditions process, and quips about eccentric dancers not being commonplace: "eccentric dancers don't grow on trees" at [06:03]. This dialogue offers insight into the challenges directors face in refining actors' performances to meet cinematic standards.

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The Musical Auditions: Talent and Eccentricity Collide

The episode transitions to the audition of three waitresses from the commissary who aspire to sing and have studied in Paris. Ms. Hap introduces them: "Well, Girls, come in. Mr. Jameson will hear you" at [06:55], only to present a humorous and somewhat unconventional performance by Jesse Crier at [07:31].

Jesse Crier delivers a quirky rendition of a love song with lines like, "Oh, sweet and lovely lady, be good oh, lady, be good to me" at [11:20]. His performance is interspersed with comedic interruptions, such as his playful declaration, "I'm like a babe that's belongs in the woods" at [11:07], adding a layer of humor and character depth to the audition process.

When asked by Director Green to add novelty to the performance, Mr. Crier passionately responds, "Well, how would you like to hear me yodel and play the guitar?" at [12:03], despite lacking an actual guitar. His persistence and creativity culminate in an impromptu musical act, demonstrating the lengths performers would go to secure a role.

Director Green concludes, "Well, that was fine, Mr. Crier. I'm afraid of this, but I'll take a chance. Come in" at [12:51], indicating a favorable outcome from the unconventional audition, yet hinting at the unpredictability of casting decisions.

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Humorous Interlude: Sam's Dollar Dilemma

Adding a comedic twist, Sam confronts Mr. Jameson seeking to borrow a dollar. Their exchange begins at [12:57], with Sam stating, "Well, I only came in to borrow a dollar" and Mr. Jameson retorting, "You have a lot of nerve asking me for a dollar" at [13:01]. The banter escalates as Sam demands, "Either give me the dollar or don't give me the dollar" at [13:04], showcasing the everyday struggles and humor within the office environment.

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Conclusion: A Snapshot of 1930s Hollywood Casting

As the episode draws to a close, listeners are left with a vivid portrayal of the Hollywood casting scene in 1935. From the earnest auditions of actors like Mr. Gadzooks and Jesse Crier to the behind-the-scenes interactions between Mr. Jameson, Mr. Green, and Ms. Hap, the episode encapsulates the hopes, challenges, and camaraderie that defined the Golden Age of Radio and early Hollywood cinema.

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Notable Quotes

• Mr. Jameson at [00:01]: "Hollywood casting office. Lights, camera, action."
• Ms. Hap at [02:03]: "Come in, come in. My goodness."
• Mr. Zooks at [02:05]: "How do you do, madam? I am an actor, madam. 20 years with Irving, madam."
• Mr. Jameson at [02:54]: "You didn't put enough fire into your speech."
• Ms. Hap at [02:58]: "Sound to me like he didn't put enough of his speech in the fire."
• Mr. Crier at [12:03]: "Well, how would you like to hear me yodel and play the guitar?"
• Mr. Jameson at [13:01]: "You have a lot of nerve asking me for a dollar."

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This episode of "Hollywood Casting Office 1935" masterfully blends drama, humor, and the intricate dynamics of the casting process, offering listeners an entertaining and insightful journey into the heart of 1930s Hollywood.

Transcript

[Mr. Jameson]

Hollywood casting office. Lights, camera, action.

[Sam]

Ready on stage six for the lineup.

[Ms. Hap]

Hollywood casting office. Henry Hockboomer. Yes, we can use you tomorrow. 8:30, weather permitting. Pays $5. Wear your fall suit. What's that you say? You won't do falls for $5? All right, then. Wear a summer suit.

[Mr. Gadzooks]

It's Sam.

[Ms. Hap]

Come in, come in. My goodness.

[Mr. Zooks]

How do you do, madam? I am an actor, madam. 20 years with Irving, madam. Is the casting director in, madam?

[Ms. Hap]

No, madam. That is, he went out to lunch.

[Mr. Zooks]

Will he be back after lunch?

[Ms. Hap]

No, that's what he went out after.

[Mr. Zooks]

Ah, motion pictures.

[Mr. Green]

Bah.

[Mr. Zooks]

I should never have left Broadway. E gad ods bodkins and Gad zooks.

[Ms. Hap]

Oh, here comes the casting director now. Oh, Mr. Jameson, this is Mr. Gadzooks.

[Mr. Jameson]

How do you do, Mr. Zooks? What experience have you had?

[Mr. Zooks]

Experience? I'm a good man. For 20 years I trooped with a traveling show. And I'll have you understand that I received letters from ladies all over the country.

[Ms. Hap]

Landladies, I suppose.

[Mr. Jameson]

Mr. Zooks, would you give us a sample of your ability?

[Mr. Zooks]

With pleasure.

[Jesse Crier]

Oh, score.

[Mr. Zooks]

And 20 years ago was the time for every good man to come to the aid of his party. Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him well.

[Mr. Jameson]

Just a minute. Just a minute. That was fair. But you didn't put enough fire into your speech.

[Ms. Hap]

Sound to me like he didn't put enough of his speech in the fire.

[Mr. Zooks]

Picture studios. Casting officers.

[Mr. Gadzooks]

Bah.

[Mr. Zooks]

And a fie on both of you.

[Ms. Hap]

Quick. Willie the Fie Swatter.

[Jesse Crier]

Bah.

[Mr. Jameson]

Poor fellow. When he sees those other people out there, he'll be green with envy.

[Ms. Hap]

Well, at least his coat's green now.

[Mr. Jameson]

Yes, now, Ms. Hap, I have to rush next door to stage six. They're shooting a sequence in that Tahitian picture. Boy, oh, boy.

[Mr. Zooks]

What?

[Mr. Jameson]

Poi and I want to see how that quartet of native boys I hired last week to see how they're getting along.

[Ms. Hap]

All right, Mr. Jameson.

[Mr. Jameson]

Hello, Sam. How is everything going? Oh, hello.

[Mr. Green]

But pretty good, if I don't say so myself.

[Mr. Jameson]

Are you just about ready to shoot that musical sequence?

[Mr. Green]

Yeah, we were held up all morning waiting for the grass. Scotch. And that was the last straw. There. We're all ready. All right.

[Mr. Gadzooks]

Kawaiat Quayak.

[Mr. Green]

All right, go ahead.

[Production Assistant]

Lights.

[Mr. Zooks]

Turn them over.

[Production Assistant]

Speed. Action. Take five. Production H. Mr. Speaker. Sabini Ginskovich.

[Mr. Gadzooks]

All right, bud.

[Mr. Green]

I'm glad you dug them up for this picture, but I wish you had that French star back.

[Mr. Jameson]

Why are you still having trouble with her accent?

[Mr. Green]

Avi, she's had the English tutor for six weeks and you can still tell she comes from Brooklyn. And those eccentric dances I hide from you weren't funny either.

[Mr. Jameson]

I know, Sam, but we all make mistakes. That's why we have Reno. Besides, eccentric dancers don't grow on trees.

[Ms. Hap]

I know that.

[Mr. Green]

Whoever saw a tree with wobbly limbs?

[Mr. Jameson]

All right, well, I've got to get back to my auditions. Thanks for inviting me over, Sam. Well, I'm back, Ms. Hap. Why, what's the matter with you?

[Ms. Hap]

You look ill. No, I don't feel well, Mr. Jameson. I think it's the oysters I ate last night.

[Mr. Jameson]

Were they fresh?

[Ms. Hap]

Oh, why, oysters? Can't talk silly.

[Mr. Jameson]

No, but you can. Look, what I mean is, maybe the oysters were spoiled. Why did. What did they look like when you opened them?

[Ms. Hap]

Oh, do you have to open them?

[Mr. Jameson]

A fine assistant I've got. Well, if you don't feel well, perhaps you'd better go home.

[Ms. Hap]

Oh, I can't go home.

[Mr. Jameson]

Why?

[Ms. Hap]

Because I'm in the end of this program.

[Mr. Jameson]

Ms. Hap, please. Now, are there any more people to be interviewed today?

[Ms. Hap]

Yes, there are three waitresses from the commissary that want to sing. They've studied in Paris.

[Mr. Jameson]

Waitresses? And they've studied in Paris. Well, well, who paid for their trip?

[Ms. Hap]

Their neighbors.

[Mr. Jameson]

Very well, let me hear them.

[Ms. Hap]

All right. All right, Girls, come in. Mr. Jameson will hear you.

[Mr. Gadzooks]

Is there anyone finer in the state of Carolina? If there is, ain't you know.

[Mr. Green]

How.

[Mr. Gadzooks]

I love this in the eyes of thine early or tell me every night why do I care? Because my dynamite Change your mind about my dynamite Change your mind about me Dinah if you want me to China how would happen Oceanina taste To be with Dinah Is there anyone finer in the state of Carolina? Tell me why was I born under the southern sky? To be tormented by those ichthyos all that I've had is with misery.

[Jesse Crier]

O.

[Mr. Gadzooks]

Lord, bring back my D to me.

[Mr. Jameson]

Well, thank you, girls. That was splendid. Now, just fill out those cards and leave them with mishaps and I'll call you when I have something for you. Ms. Hap. Who's next?

[Ms. Hap]

Well, Mr. Green, the director's waiting to talk to you about some people he needs for his next picture. And there's a singer to see you too.

[Mr. Jameson]

Fine. I'll go out and talk to both of them. Well, well, hello, Mr. Green. Glad to see you. Oh, is this the singer, Ms. Hap?

[Ms. Hap]

Yes, sir.

[Mr. Jameson]

All right, my man. This is Mr. Green, one of our ace Directors, that is, so far. He's just directed one picture. I'd like to have you sing for him.

[Mr. Crier]

My name is Jesse cry, Mr. Green, and I'd like to sing for you.

[Director Green]

Well, I'm glad to know you. But did you sing for someone else this afternoon?

[Mr. Crier]

No, sir.

[Director Green]

Then how did you get your eyes swollen like that?

[Jesse Crier]

Oh, dad.

[Mr. Crier]

You see, I'm married, Mr. Green.

[Director Green]

You mean you fight with your wife?

[Mr. Crier]

No, sir. I suffer with matrimonial dyspepsia.

[Director Green]

Matrimonial dyspepsia? What is that?

[Mr. Crier]

My wife don't agree with me.

[Director Green]

You do comedy too? I think. You think? I thought you wanted to sing.

[Mr. Gadzooks]

I do.

[Director Green]

Well, then sing.

[Mr. Crier]

Yes. I want to dedicate this song to my wife.

[Director Green]

You mean a cat of your eye?

[Mr. Crier]

Yes.

[Jesse Crier]

Oh, sweet and lovely lady, be good oh, lady, be good to me.

[Mr. Gadzooks]

I've.

[Jesse Crier]

Been so misunderstood oh, lady, be good to me Won't you please have a little pity? Cause I'm all alone in this big city I'm like a babe that's belongs in the woods Old lady, be good to me that's very nice, Jesse.

[Director Green]

What we need in this third reel of the picture is a distinct novelty. Something out of the ordinary.

[Mr. Crier]

Well, how would you like to hear me yodel and play the guitar?

[Director Green]

Well, I know you can yodel, but you have no guitar.

[Mr. Crier]

Don't you Worry about that, Mr. Green. You just leave that one to me.

[Jesse Crier]

Oh, sweet and lovely oh, let it be good oh, let it be good to you I've been so misunderstood Only be good to me.

[Mr. Gadzooks]

I'm like a.

[Jesse Crier]

Baby been lost in the woods oh, let it be good to me.

[Mr. Jameson]

Well, that was fine, Mr. Crier. I'm afraid of this, but I'll take a chance. Come in.

[Sam]

Mr. Jameson.

[Mr. Jameson]

Yes. And you're the fellow who keeps breaking into my office all the time.

[Sam]

Well, there had to be a laugh here somewhere. Besides, I only came in to borrow a dollar.

[Mr. Jameson]

You have a lot of nerve asking me for a dollar. Most fellows only ask for a dime.

[Sam]

Look, Mr. Jameson, either give me the dollar or don't give me the dollar. But don't try to tell me how to run my business.

[Mr. Jameson]

Isn't that too bad? Well, goodbye, everybody.

[Mr. Crier]

Sa.

[Mr. Gadzooks]

Sam.