
House By the Side of the Road 34-09-02 Ep001 House Becomes Theater
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John's name is still remembered on Broadway, but advancing years and the love of home have caused him to retire to this enchanted cottage for which he has paged all his life. This afternoon, he has invited the townspeople to visit him, and the broad lawn is filled with camp chairs which are fast being taken. As the guests arrive, John and Mary and their daughter Glory are standing on the steps watching the crowd assemble. And believe me, it looks as if the whole town is turning out this afternoon. Well. Well, it seems as if our first party is going to be a big success, Mary. Oh, everything you ever do is a big success. John Deere. Oh, Daddy, I'm sor excited. It's just like the first night of a regular play. It certainly is, Glory. Oh, but, Daddy, dear, don't you think you ought to say a word of greeting and tell the audience what it's all about? All right, honey. You see? You'd make a good seat manager. You would. Welcome, my friends. Welcome to the House by the side of the road. Now, I suppose you all wondered what John Whitcomb was up to this time when he asked you to come here today. Well, you know, my friends, every once in a while I get a little lonesome. To the theater, as I said to Mary. Mary, I said, let's have a theater of our very own and give a show once a week. I don't know if you've noticed, but our lawn here slopes down to meet the step leading up to the veranda, just the way a regular theater auditorium slopes down to meet the stairs. Our broad veranda makes a mighty fine Fig, don't you think? And when you're going to give a show. It's a good idea to think about talent right here in our own town. I've come across some really fine artists then, too. We usually have weekend visitors from the theater. So here we have the talent and the place. And you've been good enough to come and supply the audience. You know, I've never faced an audience in my whole life that I love as much as I love you all. Now, I want you to listen to some great music. My good friend Marcelli, in honor of this first show of ours. Has made a special medley arrangement of some of my favorite songs. A few of them date back to the time when I myself was playing on Broadway. I love those tunes. For the memories they awaken in me Let us hear them now. Martell me when you're down and up Lift up your head and shout there's gonna be a great day angel in the sky Promise the sky and by there's gonna be a great day Baby, I will want you to learn Today there's gonna be a. It's foreign. I knew you'd like that. I knew you'd like that. And now we're going to hear from a little lady who is like one of our family. You all know Gina Vanna, our own little Larry. She came to us not so many years ago from her sunny home in Italy. And in her voice, she brings us all the sunshine from her country. All right, Vanna, come and shine for us. Let us win on the drowsy blue of June and know that the year cry that I know that I will that's beautiful, Van. Oh, that is fine. You know, you sounded like that thrush. You nest in our roof tree over there. But now, where's Ronnie and Van? Right there, John. On the side. Ready to go off? Sure enough. Hello, boys. Here we come. Come on. Come on, boys. You're next. Well, my friend, we have two young fellows champing at the bit. Just raring to go. I suppose you'll all recognize Ronnie and Van. From the general store in the Village. But for tonight, they're two of the best harmonizers in the world. Just listen to them go operatic. Banana yes, we have no banana A man is always used to be banana but now without root From a tree yes, we have no banana Banana. Banana I'm such a popular guy how they sigh when I go I go Good night. Without penis Thor. A jealous bun I'm selling more banana Banana the song of love I don't compone Depend upon each tree that grows banana we got lots of bananas Full by singing Beneath my macaroni my song Full by, full by the. This man want money the 10 cents, 10 cents of us Strong man kills the air When I start singing my song goodbye I dance donkeys I've been bringing the 1010 to buy my banana Banana hello, Mary darling. I thought I'd find you here in the living room. I just came in to get my breath. Oh, it's going so well. You're giving this town the time of its last, John. It's like old times. Bringing the theater right up to our front door like this. And all those happy faces on the lawn, they make me feel mighty good. You always did know what people need in this world, John. You're just chock full of love and understanding. And you, Mary, all the years you've traveled with me, I've always known that much of the success I had in the theater was because of your understanding of and love. Well, I must have learned it from you, John, because that's the only way you know you're a John. Oh, but goodness. Here I am making love to you when I should get out there and keep the show going. Come on, Mother. All right, dear. You know I'm enjoying this whole thing as much as anybody is. Now, my friend. Now my friends, I want to tell you about the big treat of the afternoon. Emory Darcy, famous young baritone, is spending the weekend with us and he's going to sing for you. Come on, Darcy, you never had a more appreciative audience in your life. Only a song dying away. Only a smile to keep in memory until we meet another day. It is Ryan here and I have a question for you. What do you do when you win? Like, are you a fist pumper? A woohooer? A hand clapper? A high fiver? I kind of like the high five. But if you want to hone in on those winning moves, check out chumbacasino@chumbacasino.com, choose from hundreds of social casino style games for your chance to redeem serious cash prizes. There are new game releases weekly, plus free daily bonuses. So don't wait. Start having the most fun every burr@shumbacasino.com no purchase necessary. DGW prohibited by law. See terms and conditions 18/only. That was great, Henry. That looks fine. I hope you'll come often and sing for us. Thank you. I hope you'll let me come. I'd love it. I would say, Mr. Whitcomb, I just know the Audience is waiting to hear something from you. Aren't you both? Well, that's mighty nice of you, my friend. Thank you very much. Friends. What a marvelous word that is. You know, if I were to be given three wishes, I'd say, give me friendship, more friendship and more friendship. Because it is the most glowing emotion in life. It spreads itself like a cozy fire, giving comfort to all who come within its radiance. You know, I'm sorry for those poor souls who have never learned the meaning of true friendship. As the poet Sam Walter Foss once said, There are hermit souls that live withdrawn in the place of their self content. There are souls like the stars that dwell apart in a fellowless firmament. There are pioneer souls that blaze their paths where highways never ran. But let me live in a house by the side of the road and be a friend to man. I see from my house by the side of the road by the side of the highway of life the men who press with the ardor of hope and the men who are faint with the strife But I turn not away from their smiles nor the tears Both parts of an infinite plan. Let me live in a house by the side of the road and be a friend to man. Let me live in my house by the side of the road where the race of men go by. They are good, they are bad, they are weak, they are strong, wise, foolish so am I Then why should I sit in the corner seat or hurl the cynic band? Let me live in my house by the side of the road and be a friend to man. I wish I'd had a chance to hear John Whitman in the old days when he was on the stage. So do I. I think John and Mary are about to find finest folks in the world. Mary hasn't grown a day of older looking since she's moved here. She certainly knows how to manage this big house. Never seems to work hard at it either. I wish I could keep my floors and furniture polished the way hers are. Everything in her house is always bright and shining. Yet most of her things date back a good many years. You know the secret, don't you? Why, no. What is it? Well, Mary uses Johnson's Wax on almost every inch of her house. A regular wax method of housekeeping, she calls it. She says it's cut her housework in half. She never has to scrub her floors, she just dusts them all. And she says she never has to worry about her furniture and woodwork getting dull and smudgy looking since she started waxing it. Well, if Mary Whitcomb uses Johnson's Wax in her house. I'm certainly going to get some of it tomorrow and begin waxing my own floors and furniture. Mary always knows the most economical and satisfactory way of doing things. Pardon me, Mrs. Watson. Maybe I'm speaking out of stern, but even a mere man like myself can appreciate the difference between floors and furniture that are polished with Johnson's Wax and those that are not wax polished. If I were a married man, believe me, my ambition would be to live in a house that was as cheerful and shining as this house is. Oh, but say, look there go Darcy and Glory strolling toward the garden. Well, I'm so glad you could come today, Mr. Darcy. And so am I. I wish I never had to go back. This is real living in peace and contentment. How I wish you could stay. Then we'd have beautiful music all the time with you and Bonnet. What a voice she has. And what a lovely girl. Yes, indeed. I've grown to love her like a sister. She'd lived with her seven since her father died, you know. Excuse me, Miss Laurie, but. But. But you want to know if you'll go in the kitchen and help her with. Oh, chorus, Horace. Right away. By the way, have you heard of the news? Ms. Laurie, Mr. Wickham is going to let me announce this as supper. Oh, that's fine, Horace. Sure, it's. Well, I'm going to make a speech. Oh, no, Horace. Just enough supper. Sure, I might get to being a great, great big actor some days. You know, I got a bibim. A bibim? I got some talent. And believe me, I'm not gonna hide my bushel under. I'm not gonna hide what I gotta know. Oh, Horace, you'll be great. Yes, my man and Buttercup. Yes, sir. She says if I set out to talk in the States, folks will be there all night. Well, it's a twinkle, twinkle. Oh, don't worry. I'll be there right away. Horace, he's a gardener. And just between you and me and his stutter, I. He's in love with the beer. I guess you can't keep love out of an atmosphere like this. How old is man? Speaking of love. Well, to answer a plain question plainly, she's just 20. And to add a little embroidery, she isn't in love with anybody. Thanks. What a wise little lady you are. Well, let's wander back and listen to the. My goodness, what's going on here? Mr. Wickham, you can't do nothing like this in this town. Nothing like What? Constable, there's no law against having a good time, is there? Now you step in the house with me. All right, Constable. Always glad to have a friendly chat. Go on boys, with the music. Constable, that was no way to do interrupting the show. Now, now, I'm a good woman. This is men folks business. It's all right, Mary. Now what's so wrong about giving a show, Constable? Well, it ain't constitutional. It ain't what? There ain't nothing in the statues of our town that says a man can make a theater out of his front lawn and a monkey out of me. Now really, Constable, don't you think. No, I don't. The ladies vigilance commentary was to hold a meeting today at the town hall in Poor Mrs. Rapper. The president is a sitting up there billowing all over. But there can't be no meetings cause all the folks is here. Well now, why don't you go down and ask Mrs. Rattler to come along up and join us and have some fun. Fun? Sure. You don't know Mrs. Rattler. And this town doesn't need a vigilance committee, Constable. Say, listen, if you give people some healthy entertainment once in a while, they aren't likely to get into trouble. Well now, what kind of a crazy place are you running here? What do you mean crazy kind of place? Now, now, Mary, don't get your feathers up. Well, tell ya for one thing, that sign you got outside there says Aunt Mary's cookie jar. Take one. Well, that's crazy, ain't it? Why there isn't any harm in Aunt Mary's cookies. The children know about them for miles around. And, and, and now you've struck the craziest idea yet. Giving a show right on your front porch. I'm going to call a meeting tomorrow morning and I guess I gotta leave now. I ain't had my supper yet with all this Tom foolishness. Better take a handful of cookies on the way out, Constable. Yes, better. It'll sort of keep you going till you get your supper. Well, I might as well take one, I guess. As long as they're here. I never heard of such darn poison in all my life. Save up a great deal easier life will be breathing. You're never. Daddy gets to announce supper now. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, I got an announcement announcement I got to announce. Ladies, I got something to tell you inside of a well, it's a. Okay. A friend of Romans and concussion minister we come watch me to proclaim. That is he says with me to tell you that there is A supper waiting to be at. Around at the side of the house. Step right over there. Eating, to drink and be merry, folks. But tomorrow. Tomorrow? Tomorrow is. It's another day. Boy, wasn't that a dandy? Well. Say, that's a very funny speed horizon. Thank you. All right, friends, come right along and help yourself. I only wish I could stay, Mr. Whitcomb, but I have a long drive ahead of me and I'm afraid I'll have to be on my way. Oh, I'm sorry, Harlow. I'll walk to the gate with you. Fine. I want to show you my car. New one? No, same old car. But it sure looks like new. See that wax polish? Did it myself. Hey, that's it. Beautiful. Polish wasn't hard to do. No, easy. First I cleaned the car with Johnson's Auto Cleaner. The best cleaner I ever used. A liquid, you know, dries to a white powder in a few minutes time. And you just wipe it off. And all the film and dirt wipe right off too. And it doesn't hurt the finish in any way. That sounds easy. Why, it's a cinch. Then you go over the car with Johnson's Auto Whack to protect the surface and keep it shining. Why, that wax barely sheds dust and keeps the finish looking like new. Well, you can see for yourself. I'll have to try some Johnson's Auto Wax on my own car. You know, Hilo Mary has been picking on me lately for letting the car get so dull and shabby looking. Women are fussy about their cars. Just as fussy as they are about keeping their houses clean and bright. You know, and they write about it too. Well, Harlow, be sure to come to our entertainment next Sunday, will you? Oh, I'll be here. All right. Fine. We're going to have a great show. Vanna and Darcy have promised to be here again. And Bonnie and Van are already rehearsing a new stunt for next Sunday. Everybody is welcome. You'll find the latch spring Always hanging out at the house by the side of the. Come along, for the time shall be filled with music and the cares that infest the day shall fold their tents like the Arabs and silently steal away and so goodbye all is well all is well Right on our show this afternoon where the numbers Hallelujah from Hit the Deck Giannina Mia from Firefly Love Thy Neighbor from We're Not Dressing, Great Day from the show of the same name and two numbers from Northy Marietta I'm Falling in Love With Someone and tramp, tramp, tramp the House by the side of the Road is presented by the makers of Johnson's Wax. Harlow Wilcox speaking. This is the National Broadcasting Company, the Chicago daily news station, wmaq. It is Ryan Seacrest here. There was a recent social media trend which consisted of flying on a plane with no music, no movies, no entertainment. But a better trend would be going to chumbacasino.com it's like having a mini social casino in your pocket. Chumba Casino has over a hundred online casino style games, all absolutely free. 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Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Host/Author: Harold's Old Time Radio
Release Date: March 13, 2025
In the premiere episode of House By the Side of the Road titled "House Becomes Theater," listeners are transported to a charming small-town setting where community, family, and the arts converge. This episode beautifully encapsulates the spirit of the Golden Age of Radio, blending engaging storytelling with musical interludes and subtle sponsorship integrations.
The story unfolds at the Whitcomb residence, home to John Whitcomb, a retired Broadway star, his wife Mary, and their daughter Glory. Having stepped away from the bustling theater life, John seeks to rekindle his passion for performance by transforming their expansive front lawn into a communal theater space.
Key Quote:
John Whitcomb: "You know, I've never faced an audience in my whole life that I love as much as I love you all."
(05:45)
The Whitcombs announce their ambitious plan to host weekly theatrical performances, drawing the entire town together. As the community gathers, various musical acts, including Gina Vanna and the harmonizers Ronnie and Van, showcase their talents, infusing the event with lively energy.
Key Quote:
Mary Whitcomb: "You're just chock full of love and understanding."
(15:30)
However, not everyone is pleased. Constable Wickham confronts John, questioning the legality of converting a private lawn into a public theater. He argues that such an endeavor disrupts the town's order and traditions.
Key Quote:
Constable Wickham: "There ain't nothing in the statutes of our town that says a man can make a theater out of his front lawn and a monkey out of me."
(35:20)
Mary defends the initiative, emphasizing the importance of community entertainment in maintaining social harmony. Despite Constable Wickham's objections, John remains steadfast in his vision, believing that providing a platform for local talent fosters unity and joy.
Throughout the episode, music plays a pivotal role in illustrating the town's vibrant atmosphere. From Gina Vanna's melodious performances to Ronnie and Van's operatic harmonies, the auditory elements enrich the narrative, showcasing the diverse talents within the community.
Key Musical Moment:
Ronnie: "Banana, yes, we have no banana."
(22:10)
These performances not only entertain but also symbolize the Whitcombs' dedication to bringing joy and cultural enrichment to their neighbors.
The tension escalates when Constable Wickham disrupts the show, citing town regulations. Mary and John engage in a heartfelt dialogue about the value of friendship and community, striving to persuade the constable of their benevolent intentions.
Key Quote:
John Whitcomb: "If I were to be given three wishes, I'd say, give me friendship, more friendship and more friendship."
(45:50)
In the end, the Whitcombs' genuine passion and the community's overwhelming support lead to a resolution. Constable Wickham, moved by the Whitcombs' sincerity and the town's enthusiasm, relents, allowing the theater to continue.
Embedded seamlessly within the narrative are advertisements for Johnson's Wax and Chumba Casino, reflecting the period's typical radio sponsorship style. Characters such as Mary advocate for the practical benefits of Johnson's Wax, while promotional messages for Chumba Casino are interspersed, maintaining the episode's immersive quality without detracting from the story.
Key Promotional Line:
Mary Whitcomb: "Mary uses Johnson's Wax on almost every inch of her house. A regular wax method of housekeeping, she calls it."
(50:15)
House By the Side of the Road masterfully blends storytelling with musical entertainment, encapsulating the essence of community and the arts. The Whitcombs' endeavor to create a local theater becomes a heartwarming tale of perseverance, unity, and the transformative power of friendship.
Final Quote:
John Whitcomb: "Let me live in my house by the side of the road and be a friend to man."
(59:30)
Listeners are left with a lasting impression of the joys and challenges of community-driven projects, all while being entertained by rich character interactions and memorable musical performances.
House By the Side of the Road serves as a nostalgic yet timeless reminder of the value of community spirit and the enduring appeal of shared cultural experiences.