
I Got A Million Of Em 1952-11-22 Jimmy Durante
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Jimmy Durante
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Bob Kaufman
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Frank Goldman
Now Jimmy Durante stars in a special broadcast titled I Got a Million of Them. The National Broadcasting Company, in cooperation with Benet Britt, on the occasion of its 109th anniversary, presents this transcribed half hour of laughing, touching tribute from a great comedian, Jimmy Durante, to the greatest of American ideals, the brotherhood of man. And now, Jimmy Durante.
Jimmy Durante
Folks, this is Jimmy Durante. And I want to get right to the bottom of this thing because it rocked me to my very foundations. And, I might add, knocked me off my seat. I was sitting in my own parlor one night thinking some modest thoughts. Durani, I was thinking, they're the creme de la creme. You got a million of them. Sweethearts, pals and even a few friends. Durani, I was thinking, you're the undisputed champ. When all of a sudden. The undisputed champ. Durani, you're nothing but an ordinary mortal. Who's that? It's me. On which end of the wire are you? On which end of the wire am I? Durani, I'm the voice of your conscience. So that's who you are. Go away, boy. I'm doing a single tonight. There's no getting away from your conscience. The Rani. You're a champ, all right, but you're only one man. And I know an organized champ. Lean closer, bright eyes. Did you ever hear of a certain Brene Brett? Brene Brett? What's he got that I ain't got? What about education? Durani's an educated man. Has Brene Britt got education? Tell me that. Have they got education? Listen, Duranty, not only have they got education, but they got enough to spread it around. And here's a for instance.
Ms. Taylor
We were driving through the red clay landscape which passed for farmland up here in the hills. I guess after 10 years of being a school teacher among the mountain folk, I'd pretty much gotten used to the surroundings. But seeing it again through the eyes of someone from the city, through Mrs. Benjamin's eyes, well, it made me wonder how she'd react to the Watkins place. Have we got much further to go, Ms. Taylor? About another three miles, Ms. Benjamin. Straight up into the hills. Oh, the land. It's so poor, the people are even poorer. Ms. Benjamin. Tommy, this is Ms. Benjamin.
Tommy
How do you do, ma'am?
Ms. Taylor
I'm glad to know you, son. Ms. Benjamin is from the city. She comes from an organization called the B'nai Brith Women. Does the name sound a little strange to you?
Tommy
Oh, no, ma'am. It sounds like something out of the Bible. Hebrew folk.
Ms. Taylor
That's exactly right, Tommy. See, they're interested in boys and girls of school age, of all religions. Each year they award scholarships to the brightest students who need help around here. It's part of their community service program.
Tommy
Yes, ma'am.
Ms. Taylor
We've seen your school record, Tommy. Ms. Taylor has told us little about you. She's even told us you'd like to become a doctor.
Tommy
I've changed my mind, ma'am.
Ms. Taylor
You've changed your mind?
Tommy
Yes, ma'am.
Ms. Taylor
That's all right, son. We'll help you to get advice from our Vocational Service bureau. Our only interest now, though, is in providing you with a scholarship that'll help you finish high school.
Tommy
I don't reckon you understand. I'm not coming back to school this fall. I'm through with schooling, Tommy.
Ms. Taylor
May I. May we ask why?
Tommy
On account of it. I got a family to support, Ms. Taylor.
Ms. Taylor
A family?
Tommy
My mother and sister.
Ms. Taylor
Well, I knew you worked out after school and on weekends as a hired hand, but that doesn't bring enough.
Tommy
My mom used to go into town regular. Now she's ailing.
Ms. Taylor
But your grade, son. You're such a bright student. Doctors are so badly needed here. Our scholarship.
Tommy
Our scholarship could help me, ma'am, but not my family. They come first.
Ms. Taylor
I'm sorry, son. Deeply sorry.
Tommy
Ma'am. A while ago, you offered me a scholarship. That means some money, don't it?
Ms. Taylor
Yes, it does. For clothing and books and things like that.
Tommy
If. If I had a mule. Just any kind of a plug mule. If me and the mule rented out after school and on weekends. Will they pay more for a man and a mule than they do for a man alone? I could go back to school. Could your folks change that scholarship into a mule?
Ms. Taylor
A mule? The neighborhood by mule.
Tommy
Oh, he don't have to be much, ma'am.
Ms. Taylor
Son. Tommy. Ours. Well, we have certain rules. The women voted. I. I can't. There are rules in every organization. The money was set aside for scholarships. A mule.
Tommy
I. I understand, ma'am.
Ms. Taylor
I Watched her face, her mother's face on the ride back. Only twice did she speak out loud. Once to me directly. They pay more for a man and a mule. He is a man. The second time she spoke, it was to herself. It's a riddle, a real riddle to change a scholarship into a mule. How? I heard no more from Ms. Benjamin for two weeks. I had no way of knowing the heartache, the sleepless nights, the hurried thinking which preceded her telephone call to me. Miss Taylor. Well, yes, Miss Benjamin. Tomorrow, Miss Taylor. Tomorrow. I'll meet you in town. You must ring Tommy. You must.
Jimmy Durante
Right back here, folks.
Earl Jordan
Got him right in here.
Ms. Taylor
What? Why, he's a mule, ma'am. He's a mule. Even I know that son. A mule.
Tommy
The most beautiful mule in the world. I gotta call him something. What do I do? He's gotta have a name.
Ms. Taylor
What'll I call him? I'm afraid that's already taken care of, Tommy. He's already got a name.
Tommy
What is it?
Ms. Taylor
You'll have to call him Scholarship Tommy. You see, according to our rules, the money can only be used for scholarships.
Jimmy Durante
Conscience. Believe me, I've been touched. Durani, you ain't been touched. You've been tucked. And let me tell you, Renee Brit, women do a lot of other things to help their fellow man, young and old, okay? If them's the condition that prevails, then I confess, education ain't my fortissimo. Renee Brit is the champ on that score. But what about classical music? Durani's done more for Beethoven's Fifth than Beethoven's done for Durani. What do you say about the classics? Benet, Brit, Durante. You're laughing out of the wrong side of your nose. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Because when it comes to classical music, compared to Bernay, Britt Duranty is Johnny. One note. And here's a for instance.
Earl Jordan
Do you hear that? Not so long ago, the only sounds I heard all day long were these. My name is Earl Jordan. I've spent a little time trying to figure out how to tell you about myself. Some lives are easy to describe in words. But mine, well, it seems to me that mine can best be told in sounds. This sound, for instance. Even after the war, the Veterans Hospital saw a good deal of me. It was in one of these hospitals that I heard still another sound. Sound of a friend.
Bob Kaufman
Hello, Earl. My name is Bob. Bob Kaufman. I'm with the B'nai BH Service Committee. Need anything?
Earl Jordan
Nothing, thanks.
Bob Kaufman
I understand you're something of a composer. I'm a violinist. You need Some talk about music.
Earl Jordan
After the hospitals. I remember. Still another sound. Sound of crying in the middle of the night. Betty?
Ms. Taylor
I'm sorry, Earl. I thought you were asleep.
Earl Jordan
Please, Don, I'm sorry.
Ms. Taylor
It just seems that if we hadn't married. If you didn't have to make a living for both of us. It just seems that way, that's all.
Earl Jordan
It isn't you, Betty, or me either. It's just that, well, a man can't usually make a living at composing serious music. That's all it is. When I was a kid, I had hobbies. Time I forgot about them, I forget about this. In the months that followed, there were many sounds. Sounds too painful to release, so they died within myself. Sounds of music being stifled. Finally, it was winter, and there was the sound of a doorbell.
Ms. Taylor
Oh, Mr. Kaufman. How nice.
Bob Kaufman
How are you, Betty? Earl home?
Ms. Taylor
Yes, come in.
Earl Jordan
Bob. Thanks for dropping by. I wish I'd have known I'd changed my clothes. Hi.
Bob Kaufman
I guess I should have called, but I. I'm afraid I've done something without your permission. Maybe I was wrong. I want you to tell me frankly.
Earl Jordan
We don't know what it is.
Bob Kaufman
Yeah, that's true, isn't it? Well, look, I'll put it bluntly. When you came to me and thanked me for our help and told me you were giving up music, well, I didn't want to believe it. So without your knowledge, Earl, I entered one of your compositions in a competition, huh? Yeah. The George Gershwin Memorial Contest. It's sponsored annually by Bnee Brith and their Hillel Foundations. They're on college campuses all over the country. Well, neither of you have said anything so far. So. Well, I received the telegram just now and you won, Earl.
Earl Jordan
And so you hear the sound of an orchestra tuning up. And beside me here in the box at Carnegie hall, my wife, my friend.
Ms. Taylor
Earl. Look, look, darling.
Jimmy Durante
Shh.
Earl Jordan
Betty, this is the New York Philharmonic.
Ms. Taylor
Look at the program, darling. Look. Brahms, Beethoven and my husband, Earl Jordan. How can I keep quiet?
Jimmy Durante
That's what I like to hear, the classics, folks. Maybe you don't know it, but I'd have been playing in Carnegie hall too, except we were so poor when I was a kid, I never got a chance to practice. What's being poor got to do with practicing a piano? How can you practice on a piano when you ain't got a piano? But that didn't bother Durani none. No, sir, on account I was a tough kid. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I grew up in a neighborhood so tough that anybody with ears was a cocker. Spaniel. And compared to Duranty, B'nai Brit is nothing but a cream puff. Oh, yeah? Well, what if I told you that this here B'nai Brit is not only tough, but what's more, it can handle the toughest. If you don't believe me, Duranty, take a listen.
Bob Kaufman
Hi, David.
Jimmy Durante
Hmm?
Tommy
Oh, hi, Bill.
Bob Kaufman
How come you're not out in the court?
Tommy
Well, I got a chapter meeting. I'm president, you know.
Bob Kaufman
It's another hour and a half, isn't it?
Tommy
Yeah.
Bob Kaufman
You got problems?
Tommy
Oh, mine mainly.
Bob Kaufman
Well, B Brick Youth Organization put me here as a chapter advisor. You want to take advantage?
Tommy
Maybe I better talk to somebody.
Bob Kaufman
Sit down. Standing won't make things clearer.
Jimmy Durante
Thanks.
Bob Kaufman
Is it about Joe?
Tommy
How'd you know?
Bob Kaufman
I guess.
Tommy
Yeah.
Bob Kaufman
Is he asked to join aza? To join our chapter?
Tommy
I just said.
Ms. Taylor
Mm.
Bob Kaufman
How do you think your membership will react?
Tommy
They'll turn him down.
Bob Kaufman
And you?
Tommy
I feel the same. And yep.
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Tommy
Joe's bad. Real bad. Yet I feel wrong about turning him down. Why, Bill? Why do I feel that way? I'd like to call this meeting of a to order. All of you know Joe Stied, as we always do with new applications we must discuss. In the same way all of you were discussed before you were accepted, I now put the question to you. What can Joe do for our chapter?
Ms. Taylor
Chuck?
Earl Jordan
Well, I hate to say this because it's not easy. I don't like him. He's quit school and I don't think he got a job. And his language is right from off the street. And he'll give the chapter a black eye. Joe can't do a thing for this chapter except maybe to hurt it. I'm against them.
Bob Kaufman
That's how it went for almost two hours. The last speaker summed it up.
Earl Jordan
And no matter how you add it up, when it comes to the important question of what can Joe do for this chapter, the answer is zero.
Tommy
Does anyone else want the floor A moment ago, Chuck said the important question is what can Joe do for us? With your permission, I would like to put to you an even more important question. What can we do for Joe?
Jimmy Durante
That's what I like, folks. Kids learning to be a team. Learning about the best in their background. To have self respect and to respect the other guy. Boys learning to be men. And who knows if there'd have been something like Bernay Britt when Duranee was a kid. Right now I might have been talking to yous like Sir Lawrence Olivia. Okay, so did Binet. British champ on a lot of things. But who have they got that can do this, huh? Who will be with you when I'm far away? When I'm far, far away from or can Bernay Britt do this? If each little kid could have fresh milk each day if each waking man had enough time for play if each homeless soul had a good place to stay it could be a wonderful world if we could consider each other a neighbor A friend or a brother it could be a wonderful, wonderful world it could be a wonderful world if there were no poor and the rich were content if strangers were welcome wherever they went if each of us knew what true brotherhood meant it could be a wonderful world if we could consider each other a neighbor, a friend or a brother it could be a wonderful, wonderful world it could be a wonderful world Folks, there'll be no more cracks from the voice of conscience. You see, even that little song I just sang comes from Benet Britt, sent around by its Anti Defamation League. A little song to help kids learn about brotherhood the happy way. And in my book, that makes Ben Aid Brit chant. Even a Durani don't need no voice of conscience to tell him that when a half a million folks get together to do good, they're bigger than even a Durani, big as that may be. But before I go, folks. And there's nobody gonna push Duranty out before he's ready to be pushed out. I want to be serious for just a minute because there's a story about B'nai Brit and some other people that I know personally. The B'nai Brit published it afterwards in their magazine, the National Jewish Monthly. But this story I gotta tell in my own way. A year ago, the night before Thanksgiving, there were some people in a room and they were thinking about Thanksgiving Day and how one of them was a priest and had organized Catholic kids into football teams. And how the rabbi had done the same with the Jewish kids and the Negro minister had done likewise with The Negro King. And just as that conference broke up, the priest happened to look out the window and didn't like what he saw.
Bob Kaufman
Uh, Rabbi?
Jimmy Durante
Yes, Father?
Bob Kaufman
Is this the first time they've held their meeting so close to the Bonet Barrett Center?
Jimmy Durante
No.
H
We found a broken window in the center.
Jimmy Durante
Every night now for a week, you.
Bob Kaufman
Go downtown, don't you?
Jimmy Durante
Why don't we walk together? The priest had white hair, and the rabbi wasn't much younger. But the guy spitting out voids with hate and them made them stop. And after a couple of minutes of this filth, the rabbi spoke up loud.
H
If you're finished, may I say a.
Jimmy Durante
Few words to these people? They wouldn't let the rabbi finish. But what he began, the priest went on to finish. For 15 minutes, he ripped the lies of anti Semitism, the lies about Catholics, about Protestants, about haters who think the color of a man's skin makes a difference. And when he finished, there wasn't a sound. The old priest had almost reached the rabbi's side when the first speaker shoved his face close to the priests. You say you're a Catholic priest, You're a liar.
Earl Jordan
You're nothing but a rabbi.
Jimmy Durante
For a second, after he spit across one side of the priest's face, nothing happened. Then the priest slowly turned the other side of his face to the man. The man's eyes fell away from the priest's face, but he could hear what the priest said.
Bob Kaufman
You call me Rabbi.
Jimmy Durante
That's what they called Our Lord. Then something else happened that finished out the story. The next day was Thanksgiving, and when the rabbi stopped at the parish home to pick up the priest so they could go to the kids football games together, the rabbi said, this not being.
H
The age of miracles, Father, I guess.
Jimmy Durante
It isn't a miracle, but it sure helps our budget.
Bob Kaufman
I don't follow you.
Jimmy Durante
Well, maybe it had something to do with our speaking engagement last night. Maybe it didn't.
H
In any case, last night was the.
Jimmy Durante
First in a week that a window wasn't broken at the center.
Bob Kaufman
Well, thank heaven, even for small miracles. Excuse me, Rabbi. Come in.
Earl Jordan
Oh, excuse me, Father. I didn't know the rabbi was with you. Oh, on second thought, that's just as well.
Bob Kaufman
Rabbi, you know Mr. Flynn, don't you?
Jimmy Durante
Yes, indeed.
Bob Kaufman
And what's just as wild, Flynn?
Earl Jordan
Well, this. Oh, this envelope was under my door this morning. Read it, Father.
Jimmy Durante
Yes. Now see.
Bob Kaufman
Dear Mr. Flynn, enclosed you will find $18, which is all I have at the moment. You're a glazer, so I want you to Use the money to fix some windows at the neighborhood center. And please let the priest know that sometimes a man can only learn through another's suffering.
Jimmy Durante
Folks, I got my kids here today. A million of them, it looks like. St. Paul's Little Singers. And they're gonna do the American hymn.
Ms. Taylor
For thy greater good, A Mary. May we reach the golden harvest. Peace and brotherhood of Mary Come Mary Food and or brother in America. Your hand and mine.
Jimmy Durante
Folks. If you know Durani, you know he never goes for the big voice. It's the little one that gets me. Voyage like friends and getting along and peace. That's the nicest of them all. Peace. Some folks take those words out of mort balls only once or twice a year. But this year, how's about letting them loose the whole year, huh? Getting along with friends in peace, 365 days a year. That would be pretty nice, wouldn't it?
Frank Goldman
And now, Mr. Frank Goldman, National President of the B'nai Brit.
H
Thank you, Mr. Jimmy Durante, for an inspiring performance. With Thanksgiving almost with us, we can rightly give thanks to the spirit of America which has provided such rich soil for the growth of the Brotherhood ideal. America is full of devoted men and women dedicated to the principles of humanity. In your own words, we've got millions of them. B'nai Brith has, in its 109 years of dedicated service, attempted always to promote brotherhood and better understanding among all peoples. You, in your support of charities, in your individual generosity, in your selfless efforts on behalf of countless worthy causes, have distinguished yourself not only as a great performer, but as a genuine human being. Each year, B'nai Brith presents its special award for outstanding humanitarian service to a personality in the entertainment world who has merited this singular distinction. We are most privileged at this time to present to you, Mr. Jimmy Durante, for your devotion to all peoples, regardless of race, color or Creed, the 1952 B'nai Britt Annual Award for Humanitarian Service. And to congratulate you upon the qualities and magnificent performances which have earned you this honor. With genuine satisfaction that we thus take note of and applaud your warm hearted service to your fellow man.
Jimmy Durante
Thank you, Mr. Goldman. I'm not one for making speeches, and right now I don't feel like a speech. I've always taught that deeds were more important than words. And the fine things that Bernay Britt has been doing all over this country makes me, a Christian, feel proud to receive the Humanitarian Award of this great Jewish organization. I like the spirit of your organization. I've known about it and its devotion to our fellow men. Since I've been a kid. Thanks a lot, Mr. Goldman, and all of the N Brit, you've made me proud. I hope I deserve your award. As they say, it's a privilege, ladies and gents, to do a bit for the human race.
Frank Goldman
NBC, in cooperation with the B'nai Brits, on the occasion of its 109th anniversary, has brought you a special broadcast starring Jimmy Durante. The script was written by Al Palka. It Could Be a Wonderful World and the American Hymn were written by High Zarit and Lou Singer. In the cast were Joan Banks, Jeanette Nolan, John Brown, Lamont Johnson, Paul Freeze and Jeff Silver. St. Paul's Little Singers were directed by Mrs. Richard Keyes. Big the entire transcribed production of I Got Million of Them was under the direction of Hyman Brown. Remember B asks you to give blood for the fighting men in Korea as part of its continuing blood bank program carried on in cooperation with the Department of Defense and the American Red Cross. This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company.
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Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio – "I Got A Million Of Em 1952-11-22 Jimmy Durante"
Episode Information:
The episode begins with an introduction by Frank Goldman, setting the stage for Jimmy Durante’s special broadcast titled "I Got A Million Of Them." Highlighting the 109th anniversary of the National Broadcasting Company (NBC) in cooperation with B'nai Brith, the episode promises an engaging half-hour tribute filled with humor, heartfelt moments, and significant acknowledgments of American values.
Notable Quote:
Jimmy Durante opens the broadcast with his signature charm, delving into a contemplative monologue about self-awareness and the influence of conscience. Through humorous and witty dialogue, he sets a reflective tone for the narrative to follow.
Notable Quote:
The narrative unfolds with a heartfelt interaction between Ms. Taylor, a school teacher, and Tommy, a diligent student facing familial responsibilities. Ms. Taylor introduces Tommy to Ms. Benjamin from the B'nai Brith Women organization, aiming to secure a scholarship for him. However, Tommy reveals his dilemma of needing to support his ailing mother and sister, highlighting the struggle between education and family obligations.
Notable Quotes:
Tommy proposes a creative yet heartfelt solution to his predicament by suggesting that the scholarship money be transformed into a mule, enabling him to work and support his family while continuing his education. This unconventional request underscores the depth of his commitment to both his education and familial responsibilities.
Notable Quote:
Jimmy Durante interjects with his characteristic humor and insightful commentary, reflecting on the themes of conscience, education, and community support. He emphasizes the importance of organizations like B'nai Brith in fostering brotherhood and assisting individuals in need.
Notable Quotes:
The narrative shifts to Earl Jordan, a composer struggling to balance his passion for music with the practicalities of making a living. With the support of Bob Kaufman from the B'nai Brith Service Committee, Earl finds renewed hope and inspiration, leading to his unexpected victory in the George Gershwin Memorial Contest. This segment highlights the transformative impact of community support and recognition.
Notable Quotes:
In a moving retelling, Jimmy Durante narrates an incident involving a priest and a rabbi confronting anti-Semitism and religious prejudice during a Thanksgiving meeting. Their unified stance against hatred and their collaborative efforts to support community youth exemplify the spirit of brotherhood and mutual respect.
Notable Quotes:
The episode culminates with Frank Goldman presenting Jimmy Durante with the prestigious 1952 B'nai Brith Annual Award for Humanitarian Service. Goldman praises Durante’s dedication to humanitarian causes and his role in promoting brotherhood across diverse communities. Durante humbly accepts the award, expressing his pride and commitment to serving humanity.
Notable Quotes:
The episode wraps up with a final acknowledgment of the collaborative efforts between NBC and B'nai Brith, emphasizing ongoing community support initiatives such as blood donation programs. The production credits highlight the creative talents involved in bringing this heartfelt tribute to life.
Notable Quotes:
"I Got A Million Of Em" is a poignant tribute to American ideals, weaving together stories of personal struggle, community support, and the enduring power of brotherhood. Through Jimmy Durante’s engaging narration and the heartfelt narratives of individuals like Tommy and Earl, the episode celebrates the best of humanity and the impact of collective goodwill.
Note: Advertisements and non-content sections, including sponsorship messages for "Chumba Casino" and other interruptions, have been excluded from this summary to maintain focus on the core content and narratives of the episode.