
I Love Lucy 1952-02-26 Breaking The Lease
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Philip Morris
Philip Morris, America's Most Enjoyable Cigarette presents Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz in I Love Lucy.
Lucy Ricardo
No More Philip. My race car. Fill up my race.
Philip Morris
Ladies and. Ladies and gentlemen, you can stop worrying about cigarette irritation and start smoking for pleasure. Remember this important fact. Philip Morris, and only Philip Morris, is entirely free of a source of irritation used in the manufacture of all other leading cigarettes. That is the plain and simple truth about Philip Morris superiority. And that's why we say you'll be glad tomorrow you smoked Philip Morris today.
Lucy Ricardo
Call for Philip Morris.
Philip Morris
And now, by transcription, let's join Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz as Lucy and Ricky Ricardo in I Love Lucy.
Ricky Ricardo
Hello, I'm Ricky Ricardo, and I'm the Guy who Loves Lucy. The whole thing started 10 years ago. I had just come to this country from Cuba and I didn't know much about your customs. The first girl I had a date with was Lucy. It was a romantic night, and after all, I had a reputation to live up to as a Latin lover. So I kissed her good night. It was right then that she told me that under the Constitution of the United States, if a man kisses a girl, he has to marry her. Time I found out she tricked me. I didn't care, because after all, if I hadn't married her, I would have married someone else. And Lucy is just like any other American girl who is pretty, charming, witty and partly insane. She's always doing such crazy things. Take the other night, for instance. I came home at midnight from the Tropicana. That's the nightclub where I work. Now, some wives would be fast asleep in bed, but not Lucy. She invited our landlord, Fred Merce, and his wife, Ethel, who live on the floor below us, to come up for a little jam session. So naturally, being something of a singer myself, I joined in my dear old dad. You even sounded good.
Lucy Ricardo
Thank you.
Ricky Ricardo
You know, a little more practice and we could do singing commercials for television.
Lucy Ricardo
Gee, Ethel, you certainly play the piano wonderfully. Oh, thanks, Lucy. Hey, how about Sweet Soup?
Ricky Ricardo
Yeah, that has a nice harmony.
Lucy Ricardo
Wait there, Russell. It's. It's 2:00 in the morning.
Ricky Ricardo
Well, what about it, honey? Yeah, 2:00's a perfect time for Sweet Sue.
Lucy Ricardo
Yeah, I mean, it's a little late. Won't the other tenants complain?
Ricky Ricardo
Complain about what, honey?
Lucy Ricardo
About all the noise.
Ricky Ricardo
Noise? We're not making noise. We're making music. Yeah, let em phone the landlord. I'm not home.
Lucy Ricardo
I always forget to hear the landlord. Come on, guys. What's wrong with good friends, Harmonizing a little. That's what the world needs more of.
Ricky Ricardo
You're right.
Lucy Ricardo
Oh, it's so wonderful to have landlords like you two. What a break for us to have tenants like you two.
Ricky Ricardo
Well, okay, okay. Sweet suit.
Lucy Ricardo
Look at this place. Lucy, Lucy, you've taken such good care of it. We could rent it tomorrow and not have to change a thing.
Ricky Ricardo
Okay, okay, Sweet Sue.
Lucy Ricardo
You know why, Ethel? It was in such wonderful condition when we moved in.
Ricky Ricardo
Well, all right, all right. Guess now, Sweet Sue. Ta, da, ta, da, ta, ta.
Lucy Ricardo
You're the nicest tenant I ever had. And you're certainly the nicest landlady I've ever had.
Ricky Ricardo
Man, this is the most sickening conversation I have ever heard. You're so right.
Lucy Ricardo
Oh, you two have no sentiment. I move that we dedicate the next number to our wonderful friend. Friendship.
Ricky Ricardo
I subscribe to their friendship. Here we go.
Lucy Ricardo
Every time.
Ricky Ricardo
I do.
Lucy Ricardo
I don't know.
Ricky Ricardo
What I do in this heart of my beauty but nobody but you.
Lucy Ricardo
Yeah.
Ricky Ricardo
We gotta get out of here. Thanks for everything, Rick. We've been doing. See you in the morning.
Lucy Ricardo
Good.
Ricky Ricardo
Goodbye.
Lucy Ricardo
Good night.
Ricky Ricardo
Good night.
Lucy Ricardo
Aren't they wonderful?
Ricky Ricardo
Yeah. They sure had a lot of fun, honey.
Lucy Ricardo
Oh, I had such a good time tonight. I want to live in this apartment the rest of my life.
Ricky Ricardo
Well, honey, I think that you and I and Fred and Ethel are fated to go through life together. Yep. Hey, look, Ethel left her rings here.
Lucy Ricardo
Oh, yeah.
Ricky Ricardo
You know, honey, she's absolutely right. People ought to do more singing in this world.
Lucy Ricardo
That's right, honey.
Ricky Ricardo
Every star above Knows the one I love Sweet, Just you no one else has changed Ever Share my dreams I'm without you.
Lucy Ricardo
Who'S that?
Ricky Ricardo
I don't know. Come on, let's go. He lives out of my.
Lucy Ricardo
That sounded like it came from the Mertz apartment.
Ricky Ricardo
Oh, no, honey, couldn't be.
Lucy Ricardo
No, I guess not.
Ricky Ricardo
You live on the Twinkle. A joke.
Lucy Ricardo
Hello. Hello, Lucy. Hi, Ethel. What, You. What's on your mind? What's going on up there anyway? Oh, we're singing, Sweet Sue. Want to come up for another chorus? Do you know what time it is? How do you expect anybody to get to sleep? Why, Ethel, what's the matter? You thought it was fine when you were up here. Well, I'm down here now, and I think it's lousy. Well, really, Ethel, how can you change in such a short time? Good night, Lucy. Good night.
Ricky Ricardo
What's the matter with Ethel?
Lucy Ricardo
She must have walked downstairs too fast and got in the bins.
Ricky Ricardo
What?
Lucy Ricardo
Well, she's a Little grumpy because we're making noise.
Ricky Ricardo
Well, I thought she was.
Lucy Ricardo
So did I. She'll be over it in the morning. Come on, honey, let's go to bed.
Ricky Ricardo
Lucy and I decided to ignore the Mercer's phone call and get ready for bed. Now, this should be a fairly simple thing to do, but not with Lucy and me. We always argue about the temperature of the bed. Lucy, who is part polar bear, likes lots of fresh air. If she had her way, we could rent the bedroom out as a deep freeze. Now, like every normal person, I like to sleep in a room with the windows closed and the heat turn as high as it will go. You know, warm and cozy as usual, the battle of the bloodstream began. Lucy put the window up. I put the window down.
Lucy Ricardo
Oh, no, you don't.
Ricky Ricardo
Now, what do you want me to do? I'm not afraid.
Lucy Ricardo
There isn't gonna hurt you, you hot house class. Hello?
Ricky Ricardo
Will you cut out that racket up there?
Lucy Ricardo
Fred?
Ricky Ricardo
Yes, Fred. How do you expect people to get any sleep? Well, I was only closing the windows. What, with a sledgehammer? Now, listen, Fred. Listen, my foot. Now, let's have it quiet up there. How do you like that? This habit choir up there, he says.
Lucy Ricardo
Some lousy landlords they are.
Ricky Ricardo
Nurse to the merch.
Lucy Ricardo
Yeah. Well, good night, baby.
Ricky Ricardo
Good night, honey.
Lucy Ricardo
Oh, no. The shower is drippy.
Ricky Ricardo
Yep, sure is.
Lucy Ricardo
Somebody should get up and fix it.
Ricky Ricardo
Yep, somebody should.
Lucy Ricardo
Well. Well, this isn't getting us any place. We'll both get up and fix it. That's the only fair way. When I count to three, we'll both jump out of bed.
Ricky Ricardo
All right.
Lucy Ricardo
You ready?
Ricky Ricardo
Ready.
Lucy Ricardo
Okay. One, two, three. Apparently, he can't trust either of us.
Ricky Ricardo
Apparently. Please.
Lucy Ricardo
Well, as far as I'm concerned, that shower can drip all night. I just don't care. I won't pay any attention to it.
Ricky Ricardo
All right. Neither would I.
Lucy Ricardo
All right.
Ricky Ricardo
All right.
Lucy Ricardo
I can't stand it anymore. What are you doing?
Ricky Ricardo
I can't lock it up. I can't lock it. I'm going to use a wrench. Hello? What's going on up there now?
Lucy Ricardo
Ricky's trying to fix some of your antique plumbing, that's what's going on.
Ricky Ricardo
Come on. No, let me talk to him.
Lucy Ricardo
All right. Fred wants to talk to you. Becky, what happened?
Ricky Ricardo
What happened? What happened? The pipe broke, that's what happened.
Lucy Ricardo
Oh, honey, you're all wet.
Ricky Ricardo
Give me that phone.
Lucy Ricardo
How.
Ricky Ricardo
Listen, little kid, stop pounding on those pipes. Listen, you old poop, why don't you put some decent plumbing in this firecrack. We will, as soon as we get some decent tenants. Yeah, well, maybe you like us to move. That'll suit me fine. All right, all right. That's it. I said we're moving.
Lucy Ricardo
I wouldn't stay in this crummy apartment with those horrible Mertzes if you paid me. Hello? I'd like to speak to Mrs. Mertz. Hello? Whoever told you you could play the pian? Good morning. I hate to bother you, Mrs. Ricardo, but I believe I left my diamond rings on your piano last night. Yes, you did, Mrs. Mertz. I'd be very happy to get them for you. Oh, don't bother. I'll get them if they're still there. I don't know why you should worry. You can always buy another box of Cracker Jack. I'll have you know these are real diamonds. Mrs. Ricardo, would you be so kind as to inform me just when we are to be deprived of your charming company? Very shortly. Good. Thank you. My, it'll certainly be nice getting away from such disagreeable people. It certainly will. Would you like to give me the check for the next five months rent now? Of course, I'd be delighted. What do you mean, the next five months rent? Well, if you're leaving, you have to pay off your lease. Our lease? Yes, don't you remember? You begged me on bended knee to give you a lease so that no one else could have this fantastically inexpensive, lovely apartment. Oh, you mean that one sided, unfair, binding contract that we were forced to sign before you would grant us the privilege of moving into this broken down hovel? Broken down is right. Look at this place. It'll take the next five months, Rhett to redecorate. Redecorate? Yes, after we fumigate. You can leave the check in my mailbox.
Ricky Ricardo
Honey, I don't seem to be able to.
Lucy Ricardo
Shut up.
Ricky Ricardo
What's the matter with you?
Lucy Ricardo
Oh, I'm sorry. Ethel was just up here and she made me so darn mad.
Ricky Ricardo
What now?
Lucy Ricardo
She says they're going to hold us to our lease. We have to give them five months rent before we can leave. I guess we're stuck here.
Ricky Ricardo
Well, now, that all depends.
Lucy Ricardo
On what?
Ricky Ricardo
On whether we can break the lease or not.
Lucy Ricardo
Do you think we can?
Ricky Ricardo
Could be.
Lucy Ricardo
What's on your mind?
Ricky Ricardo
We are going to become the two most unpleasant, disagreeable, nasty people in the whole world.
Lucy Ricardo
But how?
Ricky Ricardo
We'll force ourselves. Oh, boy.
Lucy Ricardo
Let's see now. What can we think of that'll make them kick us out? Think nasty or we'll get it?
Philip Morris
Ladies and gentlemen, you can stop worrying about cigarette irritation and you can start smoking for pleasure. Pure pleasure and nothing but pleasure. Listen carefully, for what you are about to hear is the simple proof of why Philip Morris is better for you to smoke. Better for you than any other leading brand. This proof is based on a scientific fact published in foremost medical journal. Let me tell it to you. Philip Morris is entirely free of a source of irritation used in the manufacture of all other leading cigarettes. That fact is important for you to know, for it is the basic reason why you're better off smoking Philip Morris. That's why. From your first Philip Morris in the morning to your last one at night, your throat will feel clean and comfortable. For no matter how many cigarettes you smoke, whether you smoke two cigarettes a day or two packs a day, this one fact remains in Philip Morris you enjoy the one cigarette entirely free of a source of irritation used in the manufacture of all other leading cigarettes. Ladies and gentlemen, that is the plain and simple truth about Philip Morris superiority. And that's why we say you'll be glad tomorrow you smoked Philip Morris today. And now back to I Love Lucy, starring Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz as Lucy and Ricky Ricardo.
Ricky Ricardo
Well, after we decided to try and break our lease, Lucy and I spent the whole morning thinking of ways to annoy the Mercers. I had to go to rehearsal at noon, so I left Lucy in charge of Operation Nasty. And I couldn't have left it in more capable hands. What a brain she has. If you ever need any good, clean, dirty work done, I've got just the kit. As you know, the Mercers live directly beneath us. And when I came home, I found Lucy stamping around the room in football shoes, throwing books on the floor and generally making as much noise as she could honor.
Lucy Ricardo
Honey.
Ricky Ricardo
Hi. How's my little lunch breaker doing?
Lucy Ricardo
Just fine. Nothing. Go rehearsal.
Ricky Ricardo
Oh, pretty.
Lucy Ricardo
Look, a riveter camera. Watch.
Ricky Ricardo
Hey, that's very good. That's very good.
Lucy Ricardo
I'm surprised they haven't moved out. I have quite a schedule.
Ricky Ricardo
Yes.
Lucy Ricardo
Oh, it's time to make another call. There.
Ricky Ricardo
Let me, let me. Hey, what happened? Get this.
Lucy Ricardo
Hello, this is the Ajax Salvage Company. We buy old glass. I understand you have some rings that you're interested in selling.
Ricky Ricardo
Oh, I'm Mike. Glad I'm on your.
Lucy Ricardo
We'll break that lease yet. Now, remember, when you come home tonight, make a lot of noise.
Ricky Ricardo
Oh, that reminds me. I won't be home till late tonight, honey.
Lucy Ricardo
Why?
Ricky Ricardo
Well, we have to rehearse for a couple of hours after the club closes.
Lucy Ricardo
Ricky, why don't you have the rehearsal here?
Ricky Ricardo
Honey, are you crazy? I got a 16 piece band. I'll blow the roof of the joints.
Lucy Ricardo
Well, doesn't look like rain.
Ricky Ricardo
I'll do it. I'll do it. Okay, fellas, remember, this is to break the lease, so make it loud. One, two, know.
Lucy Ricardo
Sak. Wow, that was wonderful. That's the best number you've done since midnight. What time is it?
Ricky Ricardo
4:30.
Lucy Ricardo
All right, now let's have a loud one.
Ricky Ricardo
A loud one. All right. Listen. I wonder how Fred and Ethel are enjoying it.
Lucy Ricardo
Well, they have a lot of courage. I haven't heard a peep out of them.
Ricky Ricardo
Oh, boy, this is swell. Honey, what are all these people?
Lucy Ricardo
I don't know, but the more the noisier.
Ricky Ricardo
Yeah. All right, we'll dedicate the next number to Fred and Ethel Merch. All right.
Lucy Ricardo
Yes, our lovely landlord.
Ricky Ricardo
They won't hear this. They're still down in the street.
Lucy Ricardo
Down in the street?
Ricky Ricardo
Yes. They have a big sign that says jam session tonight. Ricky Ricardo in person. And they're selling tickets.
Lucy Ricardo
Oh, no.
Ricky Ricardo
How do you like that?
Lucy Ricardo
I'm going down there. Give them a piece of my mind.
Ricky Ricardo
Yeah.
Lucy Ricardo
Oh, they're back in their apartment. It was too cold outside. Oh, they sold us the last ticket. Oh, they're back in their apartment, are they? Well, we'll dedicate the next number to Fred and Ethel Mertz. An old Cuban folk dance called El Braco. The Liso.
Ricky Ricardo
El Braco Deliso. Yes. How does this all Cuban folk dance go? Hey, somebody's at the door. Come in, come in. The vodage is getting good.
Lucy Ricardo
Okay, okay, you win. Here's your leash.
Ricky Ricardo
Well, the next few days we spent packing. Finally, on Saturday morning, I put the last dish in the last barrel and Lucy took the pictures off the wall. We were ready to leave the Mercer's apartment house forever. Is that all, honey?
Lucy Ricardo
I think so. It'll certainly be good to get out of this joint, won't it?
Ricky Ricardo
Do you tell Apple we'll be moving today?
Lucy Ricardo
Well, I haven't sooner. Since she brought up the lease, I mailed her a note telling her to come up and get the keys today.
Ricky Ricardo
What shall I do about this?
Lucy Ricardo
What is it?
Ricky Ricardo
There's a picture of us and Fred and Ethel taking on Atlantic Cedar last summer. Oh, we sure had a lot of fun there, didn't we?
Lucy Ricardo
Yeah.
Ricky Ricardo
Why should I do the throwaway?
Lucy Ricardo
Oh, no, no. I better pack it, huh? Well, we can always cut them out with the scissors.
Ricky Ricardo
Where are all These things at.
Lucy Ricardo
Oh, there are some things I borrowed from Ethel. She has a lot of my things, too, if she hasn't sold them.
Ricky Ricardo
You know, I got a lot of tools that belong to Fred. Some of them we bought together. What shall I do about those?
Lucy Ricardo
I don't know. See, it's amazing we could have been such good friends with a couple of stinkers.
Ricky Ricardo
Yeah, we sure had a lot of fun in the last nine years. Until they show their true colors.
Lucy Ricardo
Yeah, well, that just shows you how sneaky they are.
Ricky Ricardo
Hey, honey, you want some paper for that? Come in. Come in, please. Oh, these are yours. Oh, thanks. These are yours, I guess. Thanks. So I.
Lucy Ricardo
Here's some things of yours that somehow got into my apartment. Thanks. There's some of your things that I managed to get hold of. It's all there. You can count it if you like. Oh, well, that won't be necessary, Mrs. Mertz. I trust you. You do?
Ricky Ricardo
Look, Fred, it doesn't matter to me, you know, but for some crazy reason or other, I think Lucy wants to stay. Don't you, Lucy? Well, it doesn't matter to me either, but it's up to Ethel.
Lucy Ricardo
What?
Ricky Ricardo
What do you say, honey? You heard what the girl said. I guess we're staying, eh?
Lucy Ricardo
Yeah. Only this time I want a long lease so that we don't ever get kicked out. Well, Fred.
Ricky Ricardo
Well, what do you know? I just happen to have a new lease already made out.
Lucy Ricardo
My race.
Philip Morris
Stop worrying about cigarette irritation and start smoking for pleasure. Pure pleasure and nothing but pleasure. Remember this important fact. Philip Morris, and only Philip Morris, is entirely free of a source of irritation used in the manufacture of all other leading cigarettes. For your own protection, for your own greater smoking pleasure, enjoy the one cigarette entirely free of a source of irritation used in all other leading brands. You'll be glad tomorrow you smoked Philip Morris. Today, I Love Lucy, starring Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, featured Vivian Vance and William Frawley as Ethel and Fred Mertz. Tonight's program was written by Jess Oppenheimer, Madeline Pugh and Bob Carroll Jr. And edited by Sterling Tracy. John Stevenson speaking. This is the CBS Radio Network.
Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: I Love Lucy - Breaking The Lease
Release Date: January 7, 2025
In this delightful installment of I Love Lucy, Lucy and Ricky Ricardo find themselves entangled in a comedic predicament as they attempt to break their apartment lease. Set in the bustling era before television became the centerpiece of family entertainment, this episode captures the charm and humor that made I Love Lucy a beloved classic. Hosted by Harold's Old Time Radio, the episode brings to life the timeless antics of Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz's iconic characters.
The episode kicks off with Ricky Ricardo reminiscing about his early days in America and his whirlwind romance with Lucy, which led to their marriage. However, their domestic bliss is soon overshadowed by a problematic issue: the couple discovers that their lease requires them to pay five months' rent upfront to break it, a stipulation they find both unfair and burdensome.
Ricky Ricardo (01:27):
"Hello, I'm Ricky Ricardo, and I'm the guy who loves Lucy. The whole thing started 10 years ago..."
Determined to free themselves from the oppressive lease, Lucy devises "Operation Nasty," a plan to annoy their landlords, Fred and Ethel Mertz, who reside directly beneath them. Lucy enthusiastically takes charge, using various comedic methods such as stamping feet, throwing books, and creating general chaos to irritate the Mercers.
Lucy Ricardo (18:28):
"Just fine. Go rehearsal."
As Lucy continues her efforts, the noise levels escalate, leading to attempts to disrupt the Mercers further. Ricky, balancing his career as a bandleader with the chaos at home, struggles to manage both worlds. Their antics peak when they organize a loud rehearsal session, hoping to finally prompt the Mercers to take action.
Lucy Ricardo (22:36):
"Well, they have a lot of courage. I haven't heard a peep out of them."
Just as Ricky and Lucy believe their plan is working, they receive a call from their landlords demanding the payment of the lease. Faced with the reality that their efforts have failed to secure their departure, the couple contemplates their next steps. In a humorous twist, they decide to abandon their plans and accept their fate, leading to a heartwarming conclusion that underscores the strength of their relationship.
Ricky Ricardo (15:24):
"We are going to become the two most unpleasant, disagreeable, nasty people in the whole world."
Lucy Ricardo (27:47):
"Yeah. Only this time I want a long lease so that we don't ever get kicked out."
Introduction of the Lease Issue (01:27): Ricky sets the stage by explaining the challenges of their lease agreement, highlighting the comedic struggle they face.
Launch of Operation Nasty (17:43): Lucy embraces her role in the plan, showcasing her inventive and spirited nature.
Heightened Noise Tactics (19:20 - 23:20): The duo's elaborate schemes to annoy their landlords reach their peak, resulting in uproarious situations.
Realization and Acceptance (25:07 - 28:22): The Ricardos confront the futility of their efforts, leading to a resolution that emphasizes their bond.
Ricky Ricardo (03:01):
"You know, a little more practice and we could do singing commercials for television."
[Timestamp: 03:01]
Lucy Ricardo (07:44):
"Lucy and I decided to ignore the Mercer's phone call and get ready for bed."
[Timestamp: 07:44]
Ricky Ricardo (15:24):
"We are going to become the two most unpleasant, disagreeable, nasty people in the whole world."
[Timestamp: 15:24]
Lucy Ricardo (27:57):
"I can't stand it anymore. What are you doing?"
[Timestamp: 27:57]
Ricky Ricardo (28:22):
"Well, what do you know? I just happen to have a new lease already made out."
[Timestamp: 28:22]
The episode brilliantly showcases the dynamic between Lucy and Ricky Ricardo. Lucy's exuberant and sometimes chaotic energy perfectly complements Ricky's more composed yet equally passionate demeanor. Their interactions with Fred and Ethel Mertz add another layer of humor, highlighting the complexities of neighborly relationships during the Golden Age of Radio.
"Breaking The Lease" delves into themes of domestic life, friendship, and perseverance, all wrapped in the quintessential humor that I Love Lucy is known for. The episode masterfully balances situational comedy with character-driven humor, making it both entertaining and relatable for listeners.
This episode of "I Love Lucy" encapsulates the timeless appeal of the Ricardo-Mertz dynamic, delivering laughter and heartfelt moments in equal measure. Harold's Old Time Radio successfully resurrects the magic of the Golden Age of Radio, providing listeners with a rich and engaging experience that honors the legacy of one of television's most cherished shows.
Note: This summary excludes promotional segments and non-content sections to focus solely on the narrative and character development of the episode.