Inspector Dover 19xx.xx.xx Dover And The Sleeping Beauty

Summary

Podcast Summary: Inspector Dover 19xx.xx.xx Dover And The Sleeping Beauty

Harold's Old Time Radio presents "Inspector Dover 19xx.xx.xx Dover And The Sleeping Beauty," a gripping dramatization set in the Golden Age of Radio. Released on March 12, 2025, this episode immerses listeners in a classic detective narrative, highlighting the investigative prowess and unorthodox methods of Chief Inspector Dover from Scotland Yard.

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Introduction

The episode kicks off with the introduction of the central case—"Dover and the Sleeping Beauty." Chief Inspector Dover and Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor arrive in the town of Kurdsley to investigate the mysterious death of Ms. Isabel Slatcher, who was initially believed to have succumbed to gunshot wounds after being in a prolonged coma.

Notable Quote:

[01:17] Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor: "I know Chief Inspector Dover has never let evidence stand in the way of a good arrest. But in the case of the Sleeping Beauty, he took this to a whole new dimension."

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Characters Introduced

• Chief Inspector Dover (Kenneth Cranham): The seasoned and somewhat abrasive detective from Scotland Yard, known for his relentless pursuit of justice.
• Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor (Stuart Macquarie): Dover's junior partner, who often plays the role of the more analytical and patient investigator.
• Chief Constable Muckle (Philip Whitchurch): The local chief constable assisting Dover and McGregor.
• Violet Slatcher (Debbie Arnold): The victim's older sister, whose fervent religiosity and obsession with her sister's case add complexity to the investigation.
• Gerald Butt (Pilot Officer): Initially suspected as the fiancé of Isabel, whose alibi complicates the case.
• Reverend Bonnington (Sean Prendergast): The local minister involved in the community and the victim's activities.
• Ness Pearson (Colleen Prendergast): A probationer nurse whose interactions with Dover provide critical insights.

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Plot Overview

Initial Investigation: Chief Inspector Dover and Detective Sergeant McGregor begin by assessing the circumstances surrounding Ms. Slatcher's death. Initially, it appears that Gerald Butler, her fiancé, is the prime suspect due to his presence at the scene when she was found in a coma.

Notable Quote:

[03:16] Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor: "So the victim, Ms. Isabel Slatcher, was shot eight months ago."

Twist in the Case: A post-mortem reveals that Isabel did not die from gunshot wounds but was instead suffocated with her own pillow. This pivotal discovery shifts the investigation, suggesting a second perpetrator was involved.

Notable Quote:

[07:15] Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor: "Suffocated. She looks so peaceful, doesn't she?"

Interactions with Violet Slatcher: Violet Slatcher vehemently opposes the local Catholic-dominated police force, expressing distrust and frustration over perceived biases. Her relentless pursuit for justice becomes a driving force in the narrative.

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Key Investigations and Developments

1. Questioning Gerald Butt:

   • Dover and McGregor confront Butt at a local RAF base, where he initially denies involvement. However, inconsistencies in his alibi raise suspicions.

   Notable Quote:

   [15:13] Gerald Butt: "Well, it was a Saturday evening. I'd agreed to meet Isabel at the church..."

2. Exploring the Role of the Community:

   • The investigation delves into local dynamics, including the Kurdsley Pie Gang, a group of juvenile delinquents with potential motives rooted in local feuds.

   Notable Quote:

   [30:17] Chief Inspector Dover: "Well, why don't you tell us about the Cursley Pie Gang?"

3. Reverend Bonnington’s Confession:

   • A major turning point occurs when Reverend Bonnington confesses to harboring feelings for Isabel and reveals his presence at the hospital on the day of Isabel's death.

   Notable Quote:

   [47:00] Chief Inspector Dover: "In your own time, Reverend Bonnington. I admit a gentleman, I did harbour thoughts. And, yes, Isabelle and I did have a friendship."

4. Violet Slatcher’s Revelation:

   • In a climactic confrontation, Violet admits to smothering her sister to ensure Gerald Butt’s conviction, revealing her complex motives intertwined with familial loyalty and religious fervor.

   Notable Quote:

   [54:15] Ness Pearson: "When I got pregnant, I was just 15... I've kept up the pretends ever since."

---

Climax

The episode reaches its peak as Chief Inspector Dover pieces together the dual-layered murder—Gerald Butt’s initial shooting and Violet Slatcher’s subsequent smothering to solidify his guilt. The revelation underscores themes of justice, revenge, and the murky boundaries between right and wrong.

Notable Quote:

[53:26] Ness Pearson: "Only it wasn't him."

---

Conclusion

Chief Inspector Dover, despite his abrasive manner, successfully unravels the truth behind Ms. Slatcher's death, exposing both Gerald Butt and Violet Slatcher's complicity. The case serves as a testament to Dover’s unyielding determination, albeit through morally ambiguous methods.

Notable Quote:

[55:46] Chief Inspector Dover: "If I told you, then it wouldn't be a surprise."

---

Final Thoughts

"Dover And The Sleeping Beauty" encapsulates the essence of Golden Age radio dramas, blending intricate plots with character-driven narratives. Chief Inspector Dover emerges as a complex figure—unyielding in his quest for justice yet blinded by personal biases and methods that blur ethical lines. This episode not only entertains but also invites listeners to ponder the true meaning of justice and the costs associated with it.

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Production Credits: "Dover and the Sleeping Beauty" was dramatized for radio by Paul Mendelsohn from a novel by Joyce Porter and directed by David Ian Neville. The voice cast includes Kenneth Cranham, Stuart Macquarie, Philip Whitchurch, Colleen Prendergast, Sean Prendergast, Geraldine McNulty, Ross Adams, and Chesca Bonetti.

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Note: Advertisements and non-content sections from sponsors like Chumba Casino were omitted to focus purely on the narrative content of the episode.

Transcript

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[Ness Pearson]

Good morning, Ms. Slutcher. It's just me, Ness Pearson. And how are we this lovely morning? Ms. Slutcher? Miss. Oh, my God. Matron. Matron. Metronome.

[Paul Mendelsohn]

Dover and the Sleeping Beauty Dramatized for radio by Paul Mendelsohn from a novel by Joyce porter.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

From Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor, Scotland Yard, November 2, 1966. Application for transfer number 142. I know Chief Inspector Dover has never let evidence stand in the way of a good arrest. But in the case of the Sleeping Beauty, he took this to a whole new dimension. It all began to go wrong when the Chief Constable of Kurdsley wasn't there to pick us up at the station.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Come on. Ready? Don't do with those cases.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

It's a long way from the train.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

To the police station.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Not my fault they don't do taxis in Kirdsley Shop. Anybody here?

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Can I help you?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Hello. Who are you?

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Chief Constable Mogul. I'm not usually on the front desk.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

You were supposed to meet me off the train. Named Dover Ringer Bell.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Oh, Chief Inspector. Terribly sorry. No, no, I assumed you'd be driving up.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

He prefers the train because motor cars don't have restaurants.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

That will do. Well, I suppose mistakes happen, especially up north.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

I. Well, it's. It's good to meet you. Right now, I expect you'll be wanting to know about the Sleeping Beauty.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

The what?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

The case we've come up to solve, sir.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Now that. All in good time. First off, where's my billet?

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Ah, you'll be staying with me. Mrs. Moral insisted.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

She a good cook?

[Chief Constable Muckle]

The best.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Say no more. Come on, laddie, pick up the cases.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Where am I staying, sir?

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Oh, well, I haven't really.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

You can drop my sergeant off at some cheap and cheerful B and B. No need to break the bank. Oh, good. So I'll stop moaning. Whinge winds wins. Noon tonight. Do your men give you this match, Duke?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

So the victim, Ms. Isabel Slatcher, was shot eight months ago.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Aye, but she only Died Tuesday morning. That's why we called you lads in. It's murder.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Now, what took her so long?

[Chief Constable Muckle]

She was in an irreversible coma. Hence the sleeping beauty.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Good thing.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Malingering, I'd say. She got a boyfriend?

[Chief Constable Muckle]

A fiance? Yes, sir. Gerald Butler.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

He did it.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Chief Inspector.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Don't contradict me. You're not even married. So where was this woman shot? And don't say in the head.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

She was shot at 8:15pm the first Friday in March, outside the local Protestant church. She was often there helping the minister. Reverend Bonnington. Nice, ma'am. Are you religious, Chief Inspector? Ah.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Hey.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Sorry, sir.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

I believe in law, truth and justice. And that rights will always prevail. Hope your wife's got supper ready.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

So who found the body, sir?

[Chief Constable Muckle]

The Reverend heard some shots and rushed out with his housekeeper to find Gerald Butt cradling his fiance in his arms.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Told you. Got him banged to rights. Just fit him in before the milk socks ban hanging.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

What about the gun, sir? It was apparently a German Luger, but it was never found.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

How far is this ruddy ass?

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Not far. We can drop the Sergeant off here. Percy Arms. Hope it's all right for your lad.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

He'll be fine. The rougher the better.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Thank you, Chief Constable 12th.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

See you tomorrow, then, sir. Is there anyone else we should be talking to?

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Yes. The real fly in the ointment. Violet Slatcher, the victim's older sister. She's a devout Protestant and she thinks we're not doing our job because the police around here are nearly all Catholic. It all dates back to the 16th century and old Henry the 8th.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

I'm sure it does. But like old Henry, I need food now.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

We investigate our cases with the same thoroughness.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

That'd be why I've been brought in, then.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Enjoy your supper, sir.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

I shall. I can almost smell it.

[Ness Pearson]

Here we are, Chief Inspector. My famous spinach and cream cheese bake.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Wonderful. Can't beat a nice big start.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

This is the main course, Chief Inspector.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Northern humor. Love it.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Mrs. Motley and I, well, we're strict vegetarians.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Frigia terrier.

[Ness Pearson]

We don't believe in slaughtering God's creatures for food, do we, Humphrey?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

But God wanted us to have chops. It's in the Bible.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

I'm not sure about that, Chief Inspector. But our Lillian'd know. Wouldn't you, pet?

[Lillian Muckle]

I don't like the Bible much, but I like poetry. How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail and pour the waters off now on every gold scale how cheerfully.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

He seems to vegetarian how neatly my.

[Lillian Muckle]

Cup running and welcomes little fishes in with gentle smiling jaws.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

I got her the best elocution teacher in Kirdsey. Doesn't she speak?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Lovely, lovely.

[Ness Pearson]

Hello? Yes. Oh, I'll pass you on, dearest.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Excuse me.

[Lillian Muckle]

Would you like to hear another poem?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

You better can it, Lillian, so Daddy can take his call.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Yes.

[Ness Pearson]

Now, not a big caution for you. She could expect a bit more than you are.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

What?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Are you sure?

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Okay, we'll be right there. Thank you. I'm afraid the Chief Inspector and I'll have to go.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Oh, what a pity. Something up? Like a barbecue, maybe?

[Chief Constable Muckle]

That was the hospital. They've just done the post mortem. So they've discovered Isabel Slatcher didn't die of her gunshot wounds.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Hey. Then what the hell did she dial?

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Suffocation.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Suffocated. She looks so peaceful, doesn't she? How, Doctor?

[Paul Mendelsohn]

With the pillow, Sergeant.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Well, Dr. Austin. That's a turn up for the books, eh, Dover?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Not compared to the shock I've just had. How was the pump?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Wonderful, thank you, sir. Best lamb chops I've ever tasted.

[Paul Mendelsohn]

Sir, could we possibly get back to this poor dead girl? We were just about to start the post mortem when the nurse who was stripping Isabel Slatcher's bed reported that one of the pillowcases was stained with lipstick.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Lipstick?

[Paul Mendelsohn]

We thought this was a bit odd, but we found the answer when we opened her up.

[Ness Pearson]

See?

[Paul Mendelsohn]

Asphyxiation. It was presumably the pillow that suffocated her.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Well, this makes a big difference, doesn't it, sir?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Suppose so. Means that the shot and came back to finish the job. The fiance, obviously. How many, lamb chop? 3.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Lovely and juicy they were. But why would they need to do that if she was in a coma and was going to die anyway? She was going to die, wasn't she, Doctor?

[Paul Mendelsohn]

Oh, inevitably.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Poor woman. I want all this kept secret, you understand?

[Chief Constable Muckle]

You want more? To think she just died from the shooting.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Exactly. I suppose we'd better see that nurse who found her.

[Paul Mendelsohn]

You'll have to go through the mixing. I warn you, she's formidable.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

She ain't Matt Dover of the Yard.

[Paul Mendelsohn]

Sit down and listen.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Yes, Matron.

[Paul Mendelsohn]

This is Probationer Nurse Pearson.

[Ness Pearson]

Hello.

[Paul Mendelsohn]

Tell them what you found here. The lipstick stain was in the center of the bottom pillow, facing down towards the sheets. Whoever killed Ms. Slatcher must have taken a pillow from under her head, suffocated the poor woman, then slipped the stain pillow back underneath. Anything else, Chief Inspector?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Yes, actually, Nurse Pearson.

[Ness Pearson]

Well, I should.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

You want to know why on Earth.

[Paul Mendelsohn]

A cormator's woman was wearing lipstick. Well, it was a specific request from her sister.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Her sister?

[Ness Pearson]

It was for the newspaper pictures, sir.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

What newspaper pictures?

[Paul Mendelsohn]

That'll do, Ness. I have to go on the evening rounds now. You gentlemen can accompany me.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Okay.

[Paul Mendelsohn]

What happened was this, Chief inspector. Good evening, Dr. Hurst.

[Ness Pearson]

Good evening.

[Paul Mendelsohn]

On Thursday, our local newspaper, the Curdsley Custodian, published a completely spurious and irresponsible article that Ms. Slatcher. Sleeping Beauty, they called it. Sleeping maybe. Beauty hardly was on the verge of recovery and would regain consciousness within the next few days.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Good Lord. And if she awoke, she'd tell the police who shot her.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

I'll do the conclusions, lady. Why the hell did they print that? What's the dead girl's sister got to do with all this?

[Paul Mendelsohn]

Violet Slatcher, who incidentally is a good deal older than Isabel, but just as plain, is a rather unbalanced woman, Chief Inspector, and was totally devoted to her sister. She said that. Now this story had suddenly appeared. For whatever reason, reporters from London had.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Surely want to take pictures of a comatose girl.

[Paul Mendelsohn]

A very famous comatose girl.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

What about the fiance?

[Paul Mendelsohn]

Gerald Butt? He's in the raf. He was coming in to see her on the Tuesday morning.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Hang on. So her fiance was here exactly the time she died?

[Paul Mendelsohn]

I suppose so, But.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Told you, MacGregor, he read the newspaper article and realized he had to finish the job he started eight months ago.

[Paul Mendelsohn]

Good morning, Mrs. Jackson.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

How are you?

[Ness Pearson]

Not too bad, Mother.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Pillar in her own hospital bed, smothered.

[Paul Mendelsohn]

Sorry, Mrs. Jackson, not you. Enjoy your supper.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Does she need all that gammon? Who was supposed to be looking after Isabel Slatcher on the Tuesday she died?

[Paul Mendelsohn]

That nurse Horncastle. She'll be back on duty in the morning.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Job for you, McGregor. I gotta find a pie shop still open. Or kill a cow or something. If I don't find one, I'm coming back to eat. Mrs. Jackson.

[Ness Pearson]

What did he say?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

So there he was again. Going at it like a bull in a china shop. But this time I had a few special cards in my hand when I went to pick up the Chief Inspector.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

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[Ness Pearson]

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[Ness Pearson]

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[Ness Pearson]

Oh, you must be Sergeant McGregor. The Chief Inspector is just coming.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

McGregor, get me a card.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Yes, sir.

[Ness Pearson]

You for supper, Chief Inspector?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Not if I see you for.

[Ness Pearson]

Bye, then.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

They gave me this morning to say this. Ouch. What am I, bloody Grand National?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

I had sausages. I've never seen so many sausages. Must have been at least.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Yeah, all right. So what did Nurse Hardwick say?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Horn Castle. Well, she did show the fiance, gerald butt into Ms. Slatcher's hospital room on Tuesday morning and left him alone there.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Open a shut case, get the black cat ready and book our tickets home. Like shoulders a buffet car.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

But you think we should go to the RAF base and question Mr. Buck there?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

You want to look at the planes, don't you?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

No. Well, if we've got time. You'd have loved these sausages, sir.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Gregor.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

So.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

There'S our man. Now, don't tell him we know about the smothering. Let him dig his own grave.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Okay, sir, but I think we should.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Go gently, you know I do know the rules, Sergeant.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Oh, look at that lovely plane. Isn't that a beauty, sir? Excuse me, pilot Officer, is that a genuine Hunter?

[Gerald Butt]

Yes, it is, actually.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

I've never seen one quite so close up. Can I get in the cockpit and have a look? Of course not. Right. Well, would you mind telling me about the night of March the 16th?

[Gerald Butt]

No. What's that got to do about playing.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Come on, lady on my throat?

[Gerald Butt]

What are you doing?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Just answer, Biggles. Where were you on the night of March 16, sir?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Actually, we know where he was. Reverend Bunnington found him outside the church cradling his fiance's body.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Well, I'm asking him, laddie. Where did you get the gun, eh, sunshine? Speak, man, or it'll go all the worse for you.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

I don't think he can speak, sir. Not with your thumbs on his windpipe, Softy.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Okay, there you go.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Off.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

See? He's off. Look at that. Guilty as hell. Catch him, McGregor.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

I'll get him, sir.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Dover gets his man again. Don't know how I do it.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Got him, sir.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Well, drag him over here. I'm not Superman. Why were you running, son?

[Gerald Butt]

Because you were trying to kill me.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

And I've no idea who you are. That old chestnut.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Well, he does have a point, sir. We didn't actually say who we were.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Oh, no, we didn't. Sorry about that, son.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

We're from Scotland Yard. Pilot Officer Butts.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Scotland Yard.

[Gerald Butt]

So you're policeman?

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Yes.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

We're investigating the murder of Isabel Slutcher.

[Gerald Butt]

Poor Isabel. She didn't deserve that. Still, she's out of her misery now.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Don't give me that malarkey, sunshine. You shot her in cold blood. Then what?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Except.

[Gerald Butt]

May I?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Mr. Butt, I understand that you and the late Ms. Slatcher were engaged to be married.

[Gerald Butt]

Well, no. Actually, there wasn't any engagement. We were just good friends.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

If I've heard that once, sir, can.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

You tell us what happened, pilot officer, that night eight months ago?

[Gerald Butt]

Could I maybe get up?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

My legs. Oh, yes. Sorry. Would you like to walk?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Yes, please. Walk.

[Paul Mendelsohn]

Get the circulation going again in his legs.

[Gerald Butt]

Look at that one sore.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

What a machine.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Never been inside one before. Mr. Butt, do you think we could at.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Least have a still?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

No.

[Gerald Butt]

You wanted to talk about that awful night.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Suppose so.

[Gerald Butt]

Well, it was a Saturday evening. I'd agreed to meet Isabel at the church when she was finished doing what she was doing for Reverend Bonington.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Why were you meeting?

[Gerald Butt]

I never found out, did I? Anyway, somebody must have been waiting for her.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Yes, you with the gun. No.

[Gerald Butt]

I wasn't even the first to find her. I'll never forget that night. The church organ was playing. Reverend Bonington came out with his housekeeper, Mrs. Horsley. They'd heard the shots. Then they ran back inside to phone the police. I'd heard the shots too, from the high street. So I came running. They found me kneeling beside the body.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Where's the gun?

[Gerald Butt]

I have no idea.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Okay, no more kid gloves.

[Gerald Butt]

Kid gloves? You nearly struck.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

I'm talking. You saw that article in the local paper. Got the willies and decided to pay your recovering fiance a little visit.

[Gerald Butt]

So I visited her on Tuesday. What's that got to do with anything?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Not selling.

[Gerald Butt]

Oh, well, I did see the article. I was rather pleased, obviously. But then, of course, she died. But it was Violet, Isabelle's sister, who asked me to go round there in my uniform. She said there'd be for her.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Sister asked you to visit?

[Gerald Butt]

Yes, of course. Why else would I?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

I'm tired of this Poppy cop. Listen, pilot officer, whatever your name is, don't want you going anywhere.

[Gerald Butt]

But I'm in the raf.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Don't answer back. It'll only make things worse.

[Gerald Butt]

Oh, can you take your hands off the plane, please, Sergeant?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

So, sir, what do you think?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Well, he was on the scene both times and he had a motive.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

What motive?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Don't know yet.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Well, do you think we should see that newspaper article?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Why? We know what it says.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

The Kurzy Custodian building is right next to the pub I'm staying in. We could speak to the editor and then grab some lunch.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

You're getting the hang of this, McGregor. Except maybe we'll do it the other way round.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

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[Chief Constable Muckle]

You've caught me at a busy time, gentlemen. Hope you're not asking me to hold the front page.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Listen, matey, I've just had the first decent meal in ages and I'm wasting valuable snoozing time.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Mr. Gossage, who wrote the article on Isabel Slapcher?

[Chief Constable Muckle]

As a matter of fact, I did. She's big news in this town, the sleeping Beauty. Best thing that's happened since. Oh, that's terrible. Really terrible.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Where did you get your information from about her imminent recovery?

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Ah, sorry, old chap on newspaperman would rather die than reveal his soul to that.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Couldn't be a rank.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Oh, no, not again.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Spectre.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

He's going blue.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

All right. If you don't tell me where you got your facts from, I'll stick your private parts in that printing press right between the horoscope and a sports page.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

It was the girl's elder sister, Violet Slutcher.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

What? Does this button switch everything off? What are you doing? I'm holding the front page.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Violet Slatcher.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

The woman's been coming to see me every month or so, trying to get me to feature the case in the paper right after the shooting. It was a damn good story.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

But?

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Well, victim still unconscious, no recovery expected. Did get a bit boring.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

But you printed this story.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Kurdsley's own sleeping beauty on the verge of waking up and naming her attacker.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

That was news. Did it ever strike you that it wasn't true?

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Yeah, it did cross my mind after what the doctors kept saying. But the girl's own sister ought to know, oughtn't she?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Can I have my newspaper back, please?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

I like churches.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

I can't imagine they like you much either. Violet Slatcher's cleaning lady said she'd be at the vicarage. We don't actually need to go into the church, sir.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Thank God for that. So this must be where the Sloucher girl was shot.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Sort of creepy, isn't it?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Nah, I'm surprised anyone could hear any shots that night. Probably that ruddy organ plane. Go and tell him to stop, McGregor. It's not like there's a proper service going on. Ah, you must be the gentleman from the Yard. How do you know that? Oh, it's a small town. News travels fast.

[Gerald Butt]

I'm Reverend Bonington.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Poor, poor Isabel.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

You and Miss Slutcher must have been very close. Reverend.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Isabel was a pillar. An absolute pillar. It's been.

[Gerald Butt]

It's been very hard to manage without them. And of course, these days, her sister Violet isn't quite well.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

You'll meet. I want you. I hear vicarages do very good teas, eh? Oh, well, we'll try our best.

[Gerald Butt]

Mrs. Halsley's a pretty decent pastry cooker. She rather spoils me.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Who the hell's Mrs. Horsley?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

The housekeeper, sir. She found the body with the Reverend here.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

She been picking some mint from the garden. I'm rather partial to mint tea since.

[Gerald Butt]

My visit to the Hawyland.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

He'd like the Chief Constable. He's into rubbish like that.

[Gerald Butt]

Ladies, these are the gentlemen from Scotland Yard.

[Ness Pearson]

Bev ruddy tay.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Ah, you must be Ms. Thatcher.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Mr. This is Mrs. Horsley. You the housekeeper, then? Ah, tea strong, lots of sugar and scones and cream would be nice.

[Ness Pearson]

This isn't a cafeteria.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Just as well, because I'm not paying layman cheek.

[Ness Pearson]

Come up here from London and think they can just order me around without. I am Violet Slatcher, Chief Inspector.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Violet, dear, you must put your feet up and rest.

[Ness Pearson]

Rest?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Rest?

[Ness Pearson]

How can I rest when my poor sister's murderer is walking around laughing at us all? Even my darling Isabel won't be able to rest right now.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Slatster. What's the difference in age between the Two of you?

[Ness Pearson]

16 years. Isabel was what you might call an afterthought, but a blessed one. If it had been one of their own lot, they would have bought the killer justice fast enough.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

I'm sorry, Violet.

[Ness Pearson]

The police are all Catholics, the lot of them. And as for the Chief Constable.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Violet, I've told you before.

[Gerald Butt]

Just because there's been some trouble between.

[Ness Pearson]

The two communities, we've been nursing a Murderer in our bosom, Reverend. And what have they done? Nothing.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Nothing. Are you telling me you know who the murderer is?

[Ness Pearson]

Oh, I know all right.

[Gerald Butt]

My dear Violet, I've warned you before. These wild accusations.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Yes, yes, Ms. Slatcher, who is it you think murdered your sister?

[Ness Pearson]

As the Reverend said, I have no proof. I can only put my trust in the Lord and you.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Hmm. What exactly was your sister's relationship to Gerald Butt?

[Ness Pearson]

They were engaged to be married.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Mr. Butt says they were just good friends.

[Gerald Butt]

Mr.

[Ness Pearson]

Butt is a liar. He is also a debauched libertine, a shameless womanizer and a man who gives his word only to break it. But I'm not saying any more.

[Gerald Butt]

I think that might be best.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Violet.

[Paul Mendelsohn]

Here, Jessie. I should have told you about the breacher promise.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Breacher promise?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Thank you, Mrs. Horsley. You're welcome.

[Ness Pearson]

Isabel loved Gerald Bird Sargent. So you can imagine what a shock it was when this swine had told her he'd fallen for somebody else.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Somebody else?

[Ness Pearson]

I gave him a straight choice. Either he stood by his sacred obligations, or we would seek the redress of the law and see how that would affect his career as an officer and a gentleman.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

What did he decide to do?

[Ness Pearson]

Well, there wasn't time for him to decide anything. I assume he was going to meet my poor sister that night and get her to change her attitude.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

So Gerald Butt would have got out of a very difficult situation if your sister was out of the way.

[Ness Pearson]

Well, you were the Detective Chief Inspector.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Sorry, little tickle.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Are you going to eat all of food, Mrs. Hobs? I'm going to have a good try. No, you're right. I think I'll take the rest for later. Come on, McGregor.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Oh, yes, sir.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Oh, just one thing, madam.

[Ness Pearson]

Yes, Chief Inspector?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Why did you tell the local newspaper your sister was on the point of recovery? What? Oh, Violet.

[Ness Pearson]

Who told you that?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Never you mind. How could you have been so heartless? Heartless?

[Ness Pearson]

You are the ones who are heartless. I just couldn't bear it any longer. My poor Isabel lying there and everybody just forgetting about her. If my dear mother were alive to.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

See all this, Ms. Slatcher.

[Ness Pearson]

I wanted to make them remember again. Remember the man who shot her was walking around unpunished.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

I wanted revenge. Yes, yes. Don't get so het up. Have some more tea, Mrs. What's your name, horse face?

[Paul Mendelsohn]

Horsley.

[Ness Pearson]

As the Bible says, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

It also says, vengeance is mine, saith the Lord. Ah, yes, but it also says this isn't the epilogue, Ms. Slutcher.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

You gave out this completely fictitious story about your sister's recovery just to stir the whole thing up again, is that it?

[Ness Pearson]

Yes. And it worked, didn't it? You were here. And he'll hang, won't he? The man who did it, I mean. When you catch him.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

If I have anything to do with it, madam. And I always get my man.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Or someone. By this time, the Chief Inspector felt he had solved the case single handed. The only good part was, at least I wasn't having to watch him eat his supper night after night.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Ratty Spratt.

[Ness Pearson]

Have some more of my cheese and leek tartlets, Chief Inspector. They're Humphrey's favorites.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Who's Humphrey? Your hat.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

I'm Humphrey. So, how's the investigation coming along?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Good as done, Chief Constable. It's the fiance, you see. The young woman, the dead one, was going to sue him for breach of promise. Two bullets in the air at close range. Sorted that out.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

And he was in the hospital on Tuesday, in her room, at the very time of the murder.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Got it in one. I'll finish him off tomorrow. Just one thing that nibbles me, though.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

What's that?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Dunno. It's lurking at the back of my enormous brain. Probably lodged between a courgette and a Swede.

[Ness Pearson]

Do you know, Chief Inspector, I write poetry and I find my best ideas come when I'm not thinking about them. Maybe if our Lillian recited a poem, it'd help you to relax. Lillian.

[Lillian Muckle]

Sea Fever by John Masefield. I must go down to the sea again. The lonely sea in the sky and all I ask is a tall ship and star to steer her by.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

I can feel my homicidal brain working already.

[Lillian Muckle]

And the white sail shaking and a gray mist.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Why aren't we going to the air base again?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Mr. Bot says he'll only see you if it's here, on his dad's farm, where he can have easy access to the hedge and beyond.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Reckon he was lying about being just good friends with Isabel.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

I don't know, sir. He's quite a dashing young man. And apparently the late Miss Slatcher, wasn't it?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Beauty is more than skin deep, you know.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

How is Mrs. Dorvot?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

The same. You can talk to my Gerald here. Put you to leave your hands off his throat. Yes, yes. Keep your hair on. What's left of it. Hello, Gerald. Decided to change your story?

[Gerald Butt]

Why should I change the truth, Chief Inspector?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Why should I change the truth, Chief Inspector? Inspector? Because I know you were at the hospital on Tuesday morning.

[Gerald Butt]

Of course you know, it's no secret.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

But. What is a secret, Mr. Butt, is that Isabel Sletcher didn't die of her gunshot wounds. She was smothered with her own pillow. What?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

What?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

But. No buts. Ah. See what I did there, son? Yes, sir. And I know why you smothered her, laddie. You thought she was gonna wake up and point the finger at you. But why on earth would I, Gerald, want to shoot poor Isabel in the first place?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Apparently, the slouchers were about to sue him for breach of promise of marriage.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Is that what the mad sister's been telling you? I can't reveal my sources, but yes, it was the mad sister.

[Gerald Butt]

Chief Inspector. Isabelle and I were good friends, but there wasn't ever really anything between us.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Have you got someone else?

[Gerald Butt]

Well, yes, actually. But I always thought Isabelle had someone, too. Someone she would never talk about.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

What made you think that?

[Gerald Butt]

I don't know. Just a slight glint in her eye. I think maybe she was going to tell me that awful night.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Listen, laddie, are you gonna tell me that this breach of promise stuff was just a figment of the older sister's imagination? That's exactly what he's telling me. Then why the hell did you bother visiting her the very day she snuffed? It? Got him there, my brother.

[Gerald Butt]

I didn't.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

You were in the hospital. Everybody saw you.

[Gerald Butt]

I went to the hospital because Violet asked me to. But I never went into Isabelle's room.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Then what the hell did you do?

[Gerald Butt]

I had a cup of coffee with Nurse Horncastle. She's an old school friend. I thought I'd rather sit and talk to her than a girl in a coma.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Ay, well, anyone would should. Unless you're a pervert.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

But then Nurse Pearson popped in to check on Ms. Slatcher and found her dead.

[Gerald Butt]

I didn't want to mention the copy because I didn't want to get Jill. Nurse Horncastle into any trouble.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Ring her up.

[Gerald Butt]

She'll vouch for me.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

McGregor seen to it. This is very inconvenient.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

What?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

That you can't just string up me son for murder. Got it.

[Unknown]

In one step into the world of power, loyalty and luck. I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse with family. Canolies and spins mean everything. Now you want to get mixed up in the family business. Introducing the [e-mail] test your luck in the shadowy world of the Godfather slot.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Someday I will call upon you to.

[Unknown]

Do a service for me. Play the Godfather [e-mail] Welcome to the family. No purchase necessary. VGW Group void. We're prohibited by law 21 + terms and conditions apply.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

So, without his usual prejudices to fall back on, Chief Inspector Dover found himself in the rare position of having to do some detective work. But first we had an invitation to Sunday lunch.

[Ness Pearson]

Don't you like a courgette and turnip pie, Sergeant?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

I'm afraid I'm not a great vegetable man, Mrs. Muckle.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Unlike your boss. Look at him tucking in.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

I am.

[Ness Pearson]

I'm.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Dear God, so I am. You must have worn me down, Mrs.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

M. That's the spirit. So, have you arrested our man yet?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

He didn't do it.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

What?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Oh, dear.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

That's a pity, eh?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Ruddy tragedy. So now we got to find the cold blooded maniac who did shoot the erected woman eight months ago and then came back to finish the job. And we don't even have a murder weapon, thanks to your lot's incompetence.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Yeah, steady on.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Do you know anyone who might have had a German Luger, sir?

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Well, the Germans all had them. Yes, well, actually, the Kersey Pie Gang had one. Always bossing about anywhere.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Who the hell's the Kersley Pie Gang?

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Bunch of Catholic lads. Nice boys, but a bit wild. Very wild. Well, hooligans, actually.

[Ness Pearson]

Juvenile delinquents. It's all that meat.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Why don't you tell us about the Cursley Pie Gang?

[Chief Constable Muckle]

He didn't ask. And they couldn't have done it anyway.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Why not, sir?

[Ness Pearson]

Because they were in jail, silly. The night of the shooting.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

In jail?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

What for?

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Digging up a Protestant grave. Ah, you know what lads are like. They said one of the Protestant boys came on a bit strong with some of their lasses. It's like a running feud.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Like a running sore.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Not unlike this pie.

[Ness Pearson]

Hey, but enough of this grisly murder talk, Lillian.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Oh, here it comes. Give us one of your pawns, pet. Ah, you'll enjoy this, Sergeant.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

I'm sure I shall. I love poetry.

[Lillian Muckle]

In winter, I get up at night and dress by yellow candlelight. In summer, quite the other way.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Come on, McGregor. We got work to do.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

I was enjoying that. What exactly are we doing?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

You're going to Isabel Slatcher's house. Search it for clues, top to bottom.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

And where are you going, sir?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Have a word or two with this Cursley Pie Gang. Where do they hang out?

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Los Tas Coffee bar. It's run by Pedro Kurzley's only Spaniard. Can't miss it. It's right opposite the Protestant church.

[Ness Pearson]

But you haven't finished your Sunday lunch.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Lucky escape. I was almost getting con.

[Ness Pearson]

You won't find what you're looking for in there, Sergeant. Those are Isabelle's private place.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Ow.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

I'm really sorry, Ms. Slatcher, but I have to do this. Anyway, how do you know what I'm looking for?

[Ness Pearson]

I don't. But Isabel's life was like an open book.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

I'm sure it was. But everyone has some secrets. Little things they'd rather nobody else knew about. Not even their big sister.

[Ness Pearson]

In this house, we opened our hearts and our lives to God. He sits in every corner. He abides in every. Where did you get that underwear?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

I just found it at the back here. Rather nice, isn't it?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Frilly.

[Ness Pearson]

It's disgusting. You put it there, didn't you?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

No, I did not. I've never planted anything in my life. Now, Chief Inspector Dover. No, you're entirely wrong.

[Ness Pearson]

Then poor Isabel must have bought them by mistake.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Well, I'll have to keep on looking.

[Paul Mendelsohn]

I'm afraid that Buttman could have bought them for her.

[Ness Pearson]

Perhaps they had an argument. I don't know. She. She wouldn't wear them, so.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Satcher, Gerald Butt didn't touch your sister. He didn't shoot anyone. He's completely in the clear.

[Ness Pearson]

What?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

He had an alibi and it checked out.

[Ness Pearson]

I don't believe it.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

I'm afraid it's true.

[Ness Pearson]

Then who on earth?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Who else was at the hospital on Tuesday? I mean, who knew Isabel at the hospital?

[Ness Pearson]

Why is that relevant?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Please bear with me.

[Ness Pearson]

Well, it's the only hospital in town. Lots of people come to visit. But I think we're getting away.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Suppose any of them could have been at the church that night in March, then run off?

[Ness Pearson]

I really don't see the connection, Sergeant. What are you doing now?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Looking at Isabel's Bibles. She had a lot, didn't she?

[Paul Mendelsohn]

Put those down, Slasher.

[Ness Pearson]

Those are the Lord's words, his holy books. What makes you possibly.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Well, if you were going to hide.

[Ness Pearson]

Something, I'm afraid I shall have to complain to your superiors.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

That's your prerogative, of course.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Hang on.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

What's that?

[Ness Pearson]

What?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

There, peeking out from behind that big book.

[Ness Pearson]

I have no idea. I'll get it. Sergeant, that looks like a letter. But if Isabel hid it in the Bible, it must be a secret. We'll have to respect her secrets.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

I'm afraid the dead have no secrets. Ms. Fletcher. Ms. Slatcher, the letter, please.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Thank you.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

That looks like a rough draft of some sort. Can't quite read her writing with all this crossing out.

[Ness Pearson]

Give it here. Dear Vic. Dearest Vic. Darling Vic. I can't keep this a secret any longer.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

What's she talking about?

[Ness Pearson]

I have absolutely no idea. I know you feel the same way I do. If only she didn't stand in our way. Well, that's it. There's no more.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

It is definitely her writing.

[Ness Pearson]

Well, yes, of course it is. It makes no sense. Well, who's Vic?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

I was hoping you'd tell me. Well, you were right in one sense. Your late sister's life is now an open book.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Good evening, sir. Lovely weather for fish. What can I get for you?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

A nice strong tea, an Eccles cake and a bun on the ass.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Oh, well, I don't know about you.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Yes, you do. Now, I'm looking for some lads, call themselves the Curdsley Pie Gang.

[Gerald Butt]

Aye, aye. Anyone here been frying bacon? I think I smell pig.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Please not.

[Gerald Butt]

That's my hair you pull in.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Decent you to stand up, young man, but please do stand. Oh, sorry. Did my clumsy knee get in the way of your downward trajectory?

[Gerald Butt]

Oh, that was uncalled for.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

What's your name?

[Gerald Butt]

Freddy Gash, and I'm the leader of the Pie Gang.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Oh, I'm so impressed. I hear tell you got a German Luger, Freddy.

[Gerald Butt]

What do you hear wrong?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Oh, dear, my knees twitching again. Must be moss and fighters.

[Gerald Butt]

Dance?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

No. Okay.

[Gerald Butt]

I had a Luger. I got it from a guy in Soho on a church trip to Westminster Cathedral.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Cathedral?

[Gerald Butt]

Cost us 20 quid. But I don't have it now.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Where'd you give it to?

[Gerald Butt]

I didn't give it to no one. I lost it.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Now, why don't I believe you?

[Gerald Butt]

Oh, put your knee down, please. Can we talk outside?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Can't hear you. Speak up.

[Gerald Butt]

It's a bit embarrassing. Can we talk outside?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

It's raining. Please? I'll be back for my tea and cake. Truth? I hate the North. All right, Marlon Brando. What's so embarrassing?

[Gerald Butt]

Well, this must have been around February. Me and the lads are a bit angry, like, because of what the Plots had done to our lasses.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Sweet maidens, one and all.

[Gerald Butt]

Well, exactly. So we wanted to get our own.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Back with a Luger.

[Gerald Butt]

I was just going to fire it into the air just to give them the Willy's life.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Who exactly were you intending to frighten?

[Gerald Butt]

I keep telling you the Protestant lies. Only they weren't where we thought they were. We got the day wrong, but by that time we were too fired up.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

So who did you scare?

[Gerald Butt]

The Mother's meeting.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

The mother's meeting? Yeah. Dear Lord. So what happened, Mr. Big?

[Gerald Butt]

Well, I came in with the lads, waving the gun. But before I could even fire a warning shot, they came at me.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

It was horrible. Who came at you?

[Gerald Butt]

The mothers. They were like a bunch of, I don't know, witches. They were smacking us and hitting us with the handbags. You should investigate, Chief Inspector. They're a danger to the public.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Put out an alert, maybe call into Pole. What happened to the gun?

[Gerald Butt]

Fell out my hand. I haven't seen it since.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Here.

[Gerald Butt]

You don't think one of them mothers shot that Sleeping Beauty woman? I wouldn't put it past them.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Why the hell would you think that?

[Gerald Butt]

Well, I mean, it was at that church.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

What was at the church?

[Gerald Butt]

The meeting where I lost the gun. It was over there. At the Protestant church hall.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Is that a nut roast you're eating, sir? In a pub.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

What of it? Nothing. I simply discovered there's the one type of food doesn't put me to sleep. Okay? Sooner I can solve the ruddy case, sooner I can get out of this northern hell hole and back to the smoke.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

And Mrs. Dover.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Had to spoil it, didn't you?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

I'm sorry. So how are you getting on?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Let's just say I'm pretty sure I found out a lot more than you.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Why does it have to be a competition?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Otherwise we wouldn't know who's best, would we?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

You never quite grasped the concept of teamwork, have you, sir? Anyway, this time I reckon I'm the one who's come up trumps.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Oh, yeah? Oh, come on then, Mr. Smug Isabel.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Slatcher had a secret lover.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

What, while she was. Not.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

While she was in a coma. Before here.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

That was not a letter.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Or the first draft of one. Is definitely her handwriting.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Dearest Vic. Who's Vic?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

No idea. But whoever he is, there's a wife, isn't there? See, the letter talks about her. I bet you didn't find anything to match that. In fact, I bet you a hundred.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Pounds I found the gun.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Oh, have you?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Where is it? Not a clue. When I say found it, I know where it was last. In the church hall, a mother's meeting. Some young thug was waving it around and he lost it when the mothers duffed him up.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

So it could be any one of the mothers who picked it up.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Exactly. We find one with an husband called Vic. And Bob's your uncle.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Or Vic's your husband. Hang on, sir. I've just had a thought.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Spare me, sir.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Before we talk to the Mothers, there is just one other person we haven't spoken to. The organist.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

The organist? Have you forgotten, laddie? He was playing all the time the shots were fired. He must either be one hell of a marksman or else he played a very long sustaining note.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

It's all right. I just have this feeling I'm missing.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Something, that's for sure. Okay, so what's his name?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

No idea. I'll ring the chief constable.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

No need. I heard the organ playing just before when I was outside a coffee bar. It's right opposite the church. If you hurry, you can be there in five minutes.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

And what about you?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Haven't finished my nut roast, sir. What am I saying? Those words must never get back to the yard.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

A lovely sound.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Thank you. That's be all those nuts out of the organ. You can't beat a bit of bark. Ah. Oh, you gave me a turn. And it's Sasson. I don't care. It's ra. What's your name? Edward Davenport.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Oh, what a shame.

[Gerald Butt]

Sorry, Pat.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

What's your full name?

[Gerald Butt]

But my full name?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Well, it's a bit of a mouthful. Spit it out.

[Gerald Butt]

Edward Elgar.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Vaughan Williams.

[Gerald Butt]

Johann Sebastian Victor Davenport.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Victor?

[Gerald Butt]

That's the one that surprised you?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Actually, it was my dear mother's maiden name. The Victors are a big family around here. Apparently her dad insisted. So where were you the night Isabel Slatcher was shot?

[Gerald Butt]

Oh, are you the gents from the yard?

[Ness Pearson]

Well, I already told the police. Back in March.

[Gerald Butt]

I was here practicing the whole evening, toute la soiree.

[Ness Pearson]

Everyone heard me.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

He's right. Come on, McGregor.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

It's okay, sir.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Oh, God. What are you doing now, laddie?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Sorry, I just tripped on a loose wire. Hang on, Mr. Davenport. What exactly is this?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

What's it look like? It's a little microphone.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Microphone? So the wire goes behind this curtain.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Oh, I see.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

It's attached to a tape recorder. What do you need a microphone for, Mr. Davenport?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

And a tape recorder so I can record myself in action.

[Gerald Butt]

Make sure I'm playing as well as I'd like to.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

I have very high standards. What do you mean, aha?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

I'll tell you outside, sir.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Oh, goody.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Are you married, Mr. Davenport?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

The right person hasn't come along, Sergeant, if you get my drift. But give me the right key and I'll play it. Any flat, hey? No, it's just me and my organ for the moment. Come on, McGregor.

[Gerald Butt]

If you need to talk to me again, gents. Especially you, sergeant.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

I'm usually around.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Yes, okay. Thank you, Mr. Davenport.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

You can get my schedule from the vicar. Yes, okay. What? Vic. Vicar, you idiot.

[Ness Pearson]

McGregor me?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

She was having a fling with Bonnington. Come on.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

I still think it could be the organist. You could have just let the tape play while he popped out and did the de.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Him? Oh, you'd have more chance of a fling with than Isabel would. Now, what did that. Let us say I can't keep it a secret any longer. Give it to me. Yeah. We must do something about her. Who the hell is her?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

No idea. I suppose it could be Mr. Bonnington's wife.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

What wife?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Mrs. Bonnington. Really sad. She's a very poorly woman. She's institutionalized.

[Ness Pearson]

How the hell do you know that?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Nurse Huncastle told me when I went to check out General boss alibi.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

And you didn't think to tell me?

[Chief Constable Muckle]

You didn't ask.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Anyway, you keep things from me, you great Caledonian twit. All this time. Don't you see? Isabel must have been wanting to push things too far. Divorce or something. Word of that gets out and the Reverend Bonnington can kiss his living goodbye. Yes.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

So he'd found the gun in the church hall after the mother's meeting.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

And when he had the opportunity, he shot her. He must have known Biggles was coming to meet her that night. So he decided to do it when he could pin it on a poor old boyfriend.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

What about the hospital last Tuesday?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

The smothering pound of penny. Old Vic was there that morning visiting some patient or other. If he was, that's our man. There's a phone box outside a cafe. You phone the hospital. I'll go back and sit in the church. I'm catching my death in this rain.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Always has to be mean, doesn't it?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Always.

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[Chief Inspector Dover]

Someday I will call upon you to.

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[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Chief Inspector. Chief Inspector.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Hey, hey, hey. Haven't bit of it. Hang on. Power of good music, eh?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Well, I managed to catch that nice nurse Horn Castle again. She was only too pleased to help.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

After a naughty coffee with our Mr. Butt.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Indeed, she said she did see the Vicar at the hospital that morning. He was visiting an old lady who'd been bitten by a rabbit.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

By a. Doesn't matter. Right, well, that's it. We got her, man. Do they hang Vickers? Do you?

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Still don't have any actual property proof, sir. It's all supposition.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

You and your fancy university notions. Well, come on. No time, not the present. That's what I always say.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Unless it's lunchtime.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Unless it's lunchtime.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

What if he still has the gun, sir?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Then he'd get off within sanity. Who holds on to a murder weapon?

[Paul Mendelsohn]

Oh, there's no more scones.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Sorry to disturb you, Mrs. Horsley. Is the vicar in?

[Ness Pearson]

Of course he's in. At his house.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Not for much longer. Move out of the way, woman. Sergeant.

[Ness Pearson]

Hey, wake your feet.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

I've just scrubbed, Chief Inspector. Do come in. That'll be all, Mrs. Horsey. Thank you. I was just gonna call you. Where are you indeed? About a confession.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Oh, that's the other lot.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

No, I've managed to expedite poor Isabel's.

[Gerald Butt]

Funeral at her sister's request. We're having it tomorrow morning at the.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Cemetery on the hill. Well, I'm afraid, Vicar, that it might turn out to be your funeral, if you get my drift. I'm afraid I don't, actually, Sergeant.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Reverend Bonington, I'm arresting you for the cold blooded murder of Isabel Slatcher.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

What? Don't try to. You were on the scene last March. You're at the hospital on Tuesday.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

The hospital?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

What's that got to do with. She was in love with you, wasn't she? You're an ambitious man, Reverend. With a wife in an institution. This affair wouldn't exactly look good in your resume.

[Gerald Butt]

Now listen here, Chief Inspector.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

We found a letter, sir. A letter she either sent or was about to send you.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

There's a letter? Well, I. I suppose there's no point in denying it, then. I'm not a man who lies, Chief Inspector. Yes, Isabelle and I did have a friendship. I knew it. I ruddy knew it.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Yes, sir.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

In your own time, Reverend Bonnington. I admit a gentleman, I did harbour thoughts. And, yes, feelings for poor Isabel. Feelings about which I felt extremely guilty. And what with my poor, poor wife and. And call that ruddy confession. We're talking murder here, Vic. Murder? Why on earth should I murder anyone? That's enough, Mrs. Horsley. What are you doing? Madam, would you please put that gun down?

[Ness Pearson]

It's the Luga.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

I don't think that's the most pertinent point. Right this minute, Sardin.

[Ness Pearson]

Do you just know, Reverend, what you said about that slasher woman.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

What? I had feelings for her. Yes.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Yes, I admit it.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

What's it to you, Mrs. Horsley?

[Paul Mendelsohn]

Maybe this will help yous understand.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

After her, McGregor. But what about the vicar? Get the mad woman before she shoots someone else. Sir. Relay. You're lucky it's not your head. She's obviously more accurate from them closer up. She'll be in the church. She goes there when she's upset. Call an ambulance. I'm off to arrest my murderer. McGregor. Yes, sir. What you doing in your knees, McGregor? Praying.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

I think she's near the front of the church. She might still have some bullets.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Women.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Ow.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Why do they make churches so dark, Mrs. Horsley? Come out please, madam, or it'll only go worse for you.

[Paul Mendelsohn]

How may go worse for us? I had hopes of being the next Mrs. Reverend Bonnetton. Then that interloper came along.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

She means Miss Blatcher, sir.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

I know who she means. So you were in love with Reverend Bonnington?

[Paul Mendelsohn]

What do you mean, Wolf? I still am. But if I can't have him, and truth be told, it looks pretty unlikely right now, Then nobody else can either.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Is he dead? No, madam. You're clearly better at close range. Or maybe you just stick to smothering. You're very good at that.

[Paul Mendelsohn]

What do you mean, smothering?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

What do you think I mean?

[Paul Mendelsohn]

I've no idea.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Don't give me that.

[Paul Mendelsohn]

I really don't know what you're spluttering about.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

You thought Isabel Slatcher was going to wake up and spill the beans, so you went to the hospital on Tuesday and finished the job.

[Paul Mendelsohn]

Tuesday? I was at my sister's in Darlington on Tuesday. It's me, dear.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

What? Oh, for pity's sake. So if you didn't smother her, who did?

[Paul Mendelsohn]

Who the hell should I know? I'm not a detective. I'm a demented killer. Well, not a killer, as it turns out.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

You're still demented. Got any bullets left?

[Paul Mendelsohn]

That's for me to know and you to find out.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Mrs. Horsley. Please, Reverend.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Get down.

[Paul Mendelsohn]

This time I'm not gonna mess ya.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Lo. Quick, McGregor, while she's distracted.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Always me, isn't it?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Got her, sir. Get off it. Right. Well, I suppose I better go and tell the chief constable. Oh, that'll be the ambulance. This ruddy case is getting more baffling by a minute.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Wonderful Spanish omelette, Edna. Oh, you've done it again.

[Ness Pearson]

Thank you, Humphrey.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

So let me get this straight. Over. Mrs. Horsley shot Isabel Slatcher. But it wasn't her who smothered the girl.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Apparently not, sir. We've been looking for one person, when in fact there were two totally separate attackers.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Where on earth would someone else want the poor woman dead? It doesn't make sense.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

No, it beats me.

[Ness Pearson]

Perhaps our Lillian can help.

[Lillian Muckle]

Oh, the owl and the pussycat. The owl and the pussycat went to sea In a beautiful pea green boat they took some honey and plenty of money Wrapped up in a five pound net.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Oh, Lord, can't we just once.

[Lillian Muckle]

Oh, let us be married too long. We have tarried, but what shall we do for a ring?

[Ness Pearson]

Have you got any children, Chief Inspector?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

No, and I'm thanking Gord for it every minute.

[Lillian Muckle]

They sailed away for a year and a day to the land where the bong tree grows and there, in a.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Word, that's lovely, really cheery. But maybe you'd better.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Now hang on, you annoying girl. Say that again.

[Lillian Muckle]

And there in a wood.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Not that, you fool, the earlier bit.

[Lillian Muckle]

They sailed away for year and a day to the land where.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Enough. That's it.

[Ness Pearson]

That's what, Chief Inspector?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Never you mind. But I'll be needing my oats in the morning. Mrs. Muckle. I'm going to a funeral. Oh, Londoners.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

And we commit her body to the ground. Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Bit bleak here, isn't it, sir?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

The old ruddy town's bleak.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

I wish you'd tell me what you're new theory is.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

If I told you, then it wouldn't be a surprise.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Wouldn't be a surprise if I held water.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Now, now, laddie. Okay. Coffins in the ground. No time like the present. Violet Sledger, you know it is.

[Ness Pearson]

Can't you leave me to my grief?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Sorry, madam, but we may have to add to it. Can we move away from the grave just a bit?

[Ness Pearson]

All right. She. Inspector? What do you want? Have you caught my sister's killer yet?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

I believe so, madam. Violet Slasher, I've come to arrest you for the murder of Isabel Slatcher.

[Ness Pearson]

What?

[Gerald Butt]

You must be mad, laddie.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Ms. Slatcher, I'm not underestimating your love for your late sister. In fact, you loved her so much you couldn't bear it. Looking like the person who shot her wouldn't hang for him.

[Ness Pearson]

Didn't look as though they were even gonna catch him.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Well, that's as may be. But you knew that if your sister survived for just a year and a day, as the poem goes, whoever shot her Couldn't be convicted of murder. So you made sure she died well before the midnight hour by smothering her with her own pillar. No. That's why you lured Gerald Butt into the hospital. So if the smothering was Was discovered, as it obviously would be, there'd only be one person to blame. The person who was at the scene both times and who, in your eyes, had motive galore.

[Ness Pearson]

Only it wasn't him.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

No.

[Ness Pearson]

I couldn't bear it. For the person who shot my beloved sister wouldn't pay at the ultimate penalty. The Lord would have wanted it to happen. You know that, don't you?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

And the Lord helps those who help themselves.

[Ness Pearson]

Exactly.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

I think you'd better come with us, madam. I'm sorry.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Just wait a second, Merry. Sir. That isn't the whole story, is it, Ms. Slatcher?

[Ness Pearson]

What do you mean?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

I think you know what I mean, sir.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

I don't know what you mean.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Isabel wasn't your sister, was she, Ms. Fletcher? What?

[Ness Pearson]

No.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

No.

[Ness Pearson]

Don't say that.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

No. No.

[Ness Pearson]

Keep away from me.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Where's she going? The way out's in the other direction. There's nowhere to. Oh, my God. She just wants to be with her daughter.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

Her daughter.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Ms. Slatcher, please let me help you out. I think the men need to fill in the grave.

[Ness Pearson]

I want to be with my other.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

I understand, but.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Here, please take my hand. That's it.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

There. Are you all right?

[Ness Pearson]

I'll never be all right, Sergeant, but you might as well ask the questions.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

How did you keep it a secret, Ms. Sledger?

[Ness Pearson]

When I got pregnant, I was just 15.

[Chief Constable Muckle]

I know.

[Ness Pearson]

Not exactly the spinsterish religious nutcase you thought, eh, Sergeant? My mother simply pretended she was having another child. And when I began to show, we both went to my aunt's in Bamborough. And when we came back with Isabel, my mother told everyone she was hers. I've kept up the pretends ever since. Even Isabelle didn't know. The Lord understands.

[Chief Inspector Dover]

We all understand, Ms. Slutcher. Now, hey. Perhaps it's time we let your daughter Weston pass. Scotch eggs. Wonderful. Oh, pies. Just a job. Now, this is poetry, McBregor. Positively epic.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Looks like the collected works. One thing I don't understand, sir. How did you know Violet Slatcher wasn't Isabelle's sister?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Been niggling me for days. Something she said when we first met her at the vicarage. If my dear mother was alive to see this. My dear mother. Surely at that time she'd say, our dear mother. Or even Isabel's dear mother, but it didn't really click until the funeral. She just sounded like a mother talking about her child.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Do you think we might have got here quicker if you kept me in the picture and didn't persist in strangling innocent people?

[Chief Inspector Dover]

Maybe the man's got to have some perks in his job done he do, you know. I fancy you let his leave now. Stone across.

[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

And that is why I want this transfer to go through. Chief Inspector Dover may occasionally be right when it comes to finding the felon, but he's just so awful with it.

[Paul Mendelsohn]

In Dover and the Sleeping Beauty, Chief Inspector Dover was played by Kenneth Cranham, Sergeant McGregor, Stuart Macquarie, Chief Constable Muckle, Philip Whitchurch, Mrs. Muckle, Colleen Prendergast, Reverend Bonington, Sean Prendergast, Mrs. Horsley, Geraldine McNulty, Violet Debbie Arnold, Freddy Gash, Ross Adams and Lillian Muckle by Chesca Bonetti. Dover and the Sleeping Beauty was dramatised for radio by Paul Mendelsohn from a novel by Joyce Porter. It was directed by David Ian Neville.

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[Detective Sergeant Charles McGregor]

Btw.