Jack Benny - 39-11-19 - Jack Buys An Ostrich For Thanksgiving Dinner

Summary

Podcast Summary: Jack Benny - 39-11-19 - Jack Buys An Ostrich For Thanksgiving Dinner

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Host: Harold’s Old Time Radio
Episode Date: November 26, 2025
Original Broadcast Date: November 19, 1939
Featured Cast: Jack Benny, Mary Livingston, Don Wilson, Phil Harris, Dennis Day, Rochester

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Jack Benny Program unfolds with the usual comedic banter between Jack and his ensemble, centering around the confusion and mishaps leading up to Thanksgiving dinner. The highlight? Jack Benny accidentally buys an ostrich instead of a turkey for his festive meal. The show brims with classic vaudevillian humor, musical interludes, playful jabs, and the beloved comedic timing of the original cast.

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Key Discussion Points & Comedy Highlights

1. Opening Banter & Running Gags

• Jell-O Commercial & Introduction

  • Don Wilson opens with a characteristic, upbeat endorsement of Jell-O, emphasizing its place at every mealtime.

  • Introduces Jack Benny as “that bubbling personality, that effervescent comedian, that fizz.”

    "I am bubbling and effervescent. The fizz you can have back." – Jack Benny (02:41)

• Playful Insults and “Fizz” Interpretation

  • Don tries to explain “fizz” means Jack is “physical,” leading to wordplay and Jack’s quips about Don’s intelligence and his own mug.

2. The Pink Alligator Joke

• Virgil the sound man’s joke about a pink alligator and Bromo Seltzer is shared and dissected, leading to confusion from Dennis and skepticism from Mary.

  "If the man was walking down the street, where did he get the Bromo Seltzer?" – Dennis Day (04:16)
  "Yes, Dennis, and a banjo on his knee. Now don't worry about it." – Jack Benny (04:22)

• Mary and Jack trade even older jokes, with Mary’s “stepped in a poodle” pun, mocking old vaudeville humor.

3. Humor about Phil Harris

• Ribbing Phil Harris about his band, their sign, and artistic pretensions is a recurring theme.

  "He sold his painting… someday that picture will be hanging in Paris right next to the Mona Lulu." – Jack Benny (08:03)

• Jokes abound about Phil’s spelling and his appeal to the “collegiate crowd.”

4. Music and Good-Natured Sabotage

• Dennis sings "Jeanie with the Light Brown Hair" (09:45–12:33), followed by playful praise and jibes.

  "Well, rake them up and let's get on with the show." – Mary Livingston, on Jack's “autumn-leaf-colored” hair (13:00)

• The group mocks Phil’s performance and then reverses course for comedic effect:

  "How'd you like Phil's number, Mary?" – Jack Benny (22:45)
  "Well, I thought it was a little loud and fast. Didn't you, Don?" – Mary Livingston (22:47)
  "I thought it was lousy." – Jack Benny, completing the running joke (22:53)

5. Thanksgiving Preparations

• Jack invites the cast and their families to Thanksgiving at his house, promising a massive turkey.

  "I've got the biggest, fattest, juiciest turkey you ever saw." – Jack Benny (23:47)

• Jack grandly claims his turkey weighs 65 pounds, which is met with doubt and ribbing.

• Jack lists Hollywood stars he’s (supposedly) invited—Clark Gable, Carol Lombard—which the cast ridicules.

6. Thanksgiving Poem by Mary Livingston

• Instead of a playlet, Mary presents her comedic Thanksgiving poem, poking fun at the calendar confusion surrounding Thanksgiving dates.

  "So, Thanksgiving, I don't mind if you're a week before or a week behind. What's the difference? What's the heck? The turkey's the guy that gets it in the neck. The end." – Mary Livingston (19:02–19:16)

7. The Ostrich Reveal: The Episode’s Comedic Climax

• Rochester calls Jack to report on the Thanksgiving bird. After humorous back-and-forth about working on the holiday, Rochester expresses suspicions about the "turkey."

  "Well, I went out in the garage a few minutes ago and she laid an egg as big as a cantaloupe." – Rochester (26:45)
  "Not only that, but every time I go in there, she sticks her head in a bucket of sand… Boss, you bought an ostrich." – Rochester (27:04)
  "She just ate the headlights off your car." – Rochester (27:12)
  "How do you know?" – Jack
  "She had two Adam's apples and they were going down fast." – Rochester (27:13)

• Jack’s mortification and Rochester's unflappable wit bring the episode to its farcical apex.

  "That big turkey I bought turned out to be an ostrich." – Jack Benny (28:08)

8. Closing

• Jack promises a real turkey for Thanksgiving and bids the audience good night.

  "Well, if I find a headlight in the dressing, watch out." – Mary Livingston (30:39)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jack on Being Cheap (with Dennis's salary):

  "I'm merely holding his salary until he's a little older. I'm teaching Dennis how to save money." – Jack Benny (13:39)

• Mary’s Retort:

  "Well, he's learning from the top, man." – Mary Livingston (13:42)

• On Hollywood Invitations:

  "I can't stop now. They'll think I'm mad at them. You know how it is." – Jack Benny (24:39)

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Important Segments with Timestamps

• Jell-O Commercial & Intro: 00:33–02:41
• Pink Alligator Joke: 03:43–05:13
• Phil Harris & Band Discussion: 06:12–08:39
• "Jeanie with the Light Brown Hair" (Dennis's Song): 09:45–12:33
• Thanksgiving Poem: 18:03–19:16
• Invitation to Thanksgiving & Bird Discussion: 23:09–27:12
• Ostrich Reveal & Rochester Call: 25:48–28:08
• Wrap-up & Sign-off: 30:24–30:41

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Tone & Style

The episode is classic Jack Benny: warm, quick-witted, self-deprecating, and brimming with zany wordplay. The humor is friendly, occasionally sharp, but always in keeping with the close camaraderie of the cast.

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Final Thoughts

This episode offers a pitch-perfect example of 1930s radio comedy, with the entire ensemble leaning into the farcical premise of a Thanksgiving spoiled by an ostrich. The rapid-fire banter, running jokes, and slapstick resolutions make it a treat—not just for Thanksgiving, but for anyone who loves timeless comedy.

Highly recommended for:

• Fans of vintage radio
• Lovers of classic vaudeville humor
• Listeners who enjoy ensemble comedic chemistry

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Happy Thanksgiving from the Jack Benny gang—be careful what you serve for dinner!

Transcript

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[Don Wilson]

Jt castell o the jello program starring jack benny with mary livingston, phil harris, dennis day and yours truly, don wilson. The orchestra opens a program with. It's a whole new thing, Ladies and gentlemen. This is the age of research. So we've been doing a little research on the subject of Jell O. We found out that the best days of the week to serve Jell O are Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Which is just another way of saying that Jello is always, anytime and every time. A perfectly swell dessert for Jello brings you that full, extra rich flavor. A flavor as fresh and sunny as the real ripe fruit itself. And all six of Jell O's famous flavors have the same rich goodness. Strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon and lime. A grand, satisfying flavor that has made Jell O America's favorite gelatin dessert. And you like Jell O's gay, appetizing appearance too. It's shimmering jewel like colors that make it look so inviting. So enjoy some tomorrow. Just be sure to get genuine Jell O and don't accept any substitutes. Look for those big red letters on the box. They spell Jello. That was it, the whole new thing played by Phil Harris in his orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen, once again, we bring you our master of ceremonies, that bubbling personality, that effervescent comedian, that fizz, Jack Benny.

[Jack Benny]

Thank you, Jello. Again, this is Jack Benny the Carbonated kid talking. And Don, I like that introduction. It fits me to a T. I am bubbling and effervescent. The fizz you can have back.

[Don Wilson]

Well, Jack, let me explain. When I called you a fizz, it was really a compliment. I meant you were physical. You know, fizz for short.

[Jack Benny]

I understand, Don, perfectly. In other words, if you called me a mug, you'd really mean I was mugnificent, is that it?

[Don Wilson]

Exactly.

[Jack Benny]

Well, Don, if you think I fell for that, you're a fathead and that short for your who. Anyway, Don, let's not get into a routine because I know how you appreciate a good story and I heard a gag a few minutes ago that will positively put Every one of your chins in motion. Oh, yeah, it's a honey.

[Don Wilson]

It's a good one, huh?

[Jack Benny]

Well, Virgil the sound man told it to me. And you know what a clown he is. Get this, Don, I haven't even told you the story yet. What are you laughing at?

[Don Wilson]

Is it the one about the near sighted old maid that buried the midget?

[Jack Benny]

No, heavens, no heavens, not that one. This is a brand new story. Get this. There was a fellow walking down the street and he was leading a pink alligator on a leash when all of a sudden it started to act up and snap at him. Uh huh. So the guy got annoyed, turned around at this pink alligator and said, you better behave yourself or I'll take a Bromo Seltzer and that'll be the end of you. Isn't that terrific, Don?

[Dennis Day]

Oh, it sure is.

[Don Wilson]

That Virgil has a great sense of humor.

[Jack Benny]

That was a funny story, Mr. Benny. Oh, Dennis, I didn't see it. Did you like it? Yeah, but there's one thing that puzzles me. What? If the man was walking down the street, where did he get the Bromo Seltzer? Well, I don't know. He probably had a box of it in his pocket. Oh, then I guess he had a glass of water in his other pocket. Yes, Dennis, and a banjo on his knee. Now don't worry about it. Say, you're here kind of early tonight, Dennis. Where's your mother? Across the street in the bowling alley. In the bowling alley? Well, with her legs she better watch out. Anyway, Dennis, I'm glad you're here on time tonight. And I'll try and make a habit of it.

[Don Wilson]

You know, Jack, I can't get over that story you told me. It's silly, but I get a great.

[Jack Benny]

Kick out of it. Isn't it ridiculous? Oh, hello, Mary.

[Mary Livingston]

Hello, Jack. What's so funny?

[Jack Benny]

Mary, I must tell you. Did you hear the story about the fella that was walking down the street eating a pink alligator on a leash?

[Mary Livingston]

Is that the one? When the man said, I'll take a Bromo Seltzer and that'll be the end of you?

[Jack Benny]

Yes.

[Mary Livingston]

No. Tell it to me.

[Jack Benny]

Well, this guy was. Wait, you just told me the answer. I thought you said you never heard it.

[Mary Livingston]

Oh, stop, Jack. That's one of the oldest jokes in the world.

[Jack Benny]

Mary, jokes happen to be my business. And if that was the oldest joke in the world, I'd be the first one to know it.

[Mary Livingston]

Should I let him have it, folks?

[Jack Benny]

Never mind. Do me a favor, will you, Mary? Go out and come back in again.

[Mary Livingston]

Well, gee, Jack, as long as you're telling jokes, why don't you tell a good one? I heard a gag last night that was terrific.

[Jack Benny]

Oh, you did, eh?

[Mary Livingston]

Yeah, A man walked into the house and said to his wife, it's raining cats and dogs outside.

[Jack Benny]

Uh huh.

[Mary Livingston]

And she said, how do you know? And he said, I just stepped in a poodle.

[Jack Benny]

I know where you heard that, Mary. At the Wilshire Bowl. Bill Harris has been husking that for three years. That's his. You know, Don, Phil's idea of humor is really pitiful.

[Don Wilson]

Oh, I don't know about that, Jack. I was at the bowl one night and the people screamed at him.

[Jack Benny]

Sure, they scream at him. Every time he finishes a gag, he has a waiter throw a custard pie in his face.

[Don Wilson]

That's why I didn't see anybody do that.

[Jack Benny]

Oh, well, you must have been their bucket of water night. That's his idea of changing material.

[Mary Livingston]

Well, I'll say one thing about Phil. He sure attracts the young collegiate crowd. All the college boys go there.

[Jack Benny]

They have to go there, Mary. That's part of their initiation. Before they can join a fraternity, they have to either listen to Harris or sleep all night in a graveyard.

[Don Wilson]

In a graveyard?

[Jack Benny]

Yes, and you'll be surprised at the number of kids around here that aren't afraid of ghosts. Yes, sir.

[Mary Livingston]

You know, Jack, Phil sure believes in that college spirit. Look at that sign on the bass drum.

[Jack Benny]

Oh, yeah, Phil Harris and his collegians. Look, he spells collegians with one L.

[Mary Livingston]

Well, he spelled Phil with two, so it's all even.

[Jack Benny]

You know, Mary, sometimes I think that Phil jiggers.

[Mary Livingston]

Here he comes now.

[Jack Benny]

Don't jiggers me now. Hello, Phil. Hiya, Jackson. What's going on? Well, to tell the truth, Phil, for the last five minutes we've been talking about you. Well, a little buildup ain't never hurt nobody no, Phil, and never done you no good. E. Your grammar is worse than Abe Lyman's. And he never got beyond blocks. Well, who cares about grammar? I got other things to worry about. Oh, I can imagine. Say, Phil, I noticed that new sign you got on the bass drum. What happened to that corny painting you used to have there? Corny? Yeah, you know, the one with the yellow moon and the green river and the purple trees. Remember that one, Mary?

[Mary Livingston]

Yeah, he used to call it Dipsy Doodle by Rembrandt.

[Jack Benny]

That's a while. Whatever happened to that painting, Phil? I sold it to the Metropolitan Museum in New York. You mean the museum Of Fine Art. I don't know what they got there, but that's the joint that bought it. Phil, are you crazy? Crazy nothing. Someday that picture will be hanging in Paris right next to the Mona Lulu. Well, I'm not going to even bother to correct that. How do you like that, Mary? The most famous painting of a woman in the world and Phil doesn't even know her name.

[Mary Livingston]

If she were alive, he'd know her.

[Jack Benny]

Name and phone number and her address and what she's doing on Friday night. Well, I got myself on a detour for no reason at all. And besides.

[Don Wilson]

Hey, Jack, why don't you tell Phil that story the sound man told you?

[Jack Benny]

He'll get a kick out of it. Oh, he wouldn't even get it. Come on, Jackson, what is it? Let's hear it. All right. Phil, do you know the one about the fellow who was walking down the street and his pink alligator snapped at him? Know it? I'm the guy that drank the Bromo. There you are, fellas. He's always got a brilliant comeback, even if he has to make a bum out of himself. Oh, Dennis. Yes, please. How about a song before we get involved again? Okay, Mr. Benny, I'm gonna sing an old favorite by Stephen Foster called Jeannie with the Light Brown Hair. Oh, that's swell, Dennis. I. I love those old songs.

[Mary Livingston]

Old songs, old gags. What this program needs is glands.

[Jack Benny]

Mary, you just attend to your own little knitting. I'll handle the show thing. Dennis, the guy that drank the Bromo.

[Dennis Day]

I dream of genie with a light from hair on my cafe on the golden air I see her dripping where the bright spring blade Happy as a daisy along her way Many are the wild oath A merry voice would fall Many are the blights that warble them.

[Jack Benny]

All O.

[Dennis Day]

I dream of genie with a light brown hair Floating like. I long for genie with a day dormant smile Radiant with gladness Warm with winning guile I hear her melodies attuned to love Warm as a sunlight from heaven above Many other fun notes A merry voice would call Echoed by the in the grove Fore and all. I sigh for genie with a light brown hair Floating like a baby on the soft sama.

[Jack Benny]

That was I Dream of Jeannie with the light Brown Hair Sung by Dennis Day. And Dennis, those old songs always do something to me. I love them. Me too. Jeannie with the Light Brown Hair. What a grand title. You know, Dennis, I used to have light brown hair in my hair.

[Don Wilson]

Why, Jack, from the pictures I've seen of you, I thought you had black hair.

[Jack Benny]

No, Don, it was brown. Sort of a russet brown. You know, just like the leaves in autumn.

[Mary Livingston]

Well, rake them up and let's get on with the show.

[Jack Benny]

I wish you'd stop at those interruptions anyway. Dennis. Dennis, I noticed another thing. Your singing seems to improve every week. You're gaining poise and confidence. Well, thanks, Mr. Benny. Just think, this is your seventh week on my program. Seven weeks. Gee, yes, sir. Am I gonna get paid pretty soon? Pretty soon, Dennis. And now, ladies and gentlemen, tonight we are going to. Hey, Jackson, why don't you pay the kid? Phil, I intend to pay him. I'm merely holding his salary until he's a little older. I'm teaching Dennis how to save money.

[Mary Livingston]

Well, he's learning from the top, man.

[Jack Benny]

Thanks, Ms. Livingston. And if I were you, I wouldn't say another word unless you rube it up on the Lum and Abner program. And now, ladies and gentlemen, tonight we are going to.

[Mary Livingston]

Here you are, Dennis. Did you sing your song yet?

[Jack Benny]

Yes, Mother. Well, good evening, Mrs. Day. Good evening. Oh, Mother, you should have been here a few minutes ago. Mr. Benny told the funniest joke. It was rather good. Tell it to her, Dennis. Well, Mr. Benny was walking down the street leading a pink alligator. Oh, stood, eh? Stood. It wasn't me, Mrs. Day. Dennis got the story all wrong. I never touch a drop of liquor. Then why have you got that red nose? Because I'm a comedian. What do you think? My tie lights up too? This story, Mrs. Day, is about a man who takes a Bromo seltzer and gets rid of a pink alligator.

[Don Wilson]

What's funny about that?

[Jack Benny]

Nothing. It's very sad. I'm crying like anything. Oh, what a dame. What's that? I said, oh, what a game. I saw UCLA play Santa Clara yesterday. It was thrilling. And now, ladies and gentlemen, if you will please forgive my outburst as I started to announce. Tonight we are going to offer an original little playlet all about Thanksgiving. Written especially for the occasion by Mary Livingston. Mary, let me have it, will you?

[Mary Livingston]

Oh, Jack, I forgot to take.

[Jack Benny]

Tell you what.

[Mary Livingston]

I changed my mind about a Thanksgiving play and I wrote a poem instead.

[Jack Benny]

A poem?

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[Jack Benny]

Hey, this is Sarah. Look, I'm standing out front of a.m. p.m. Right now and well, you're sweet and all, but I found something more fulfilling. Even kind of cheesy. But I like it. Sure, you met some of my dietary needs, but they've just got it all. So farewell. Oatmeal. So long, you strange soggy.

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[Don Wilson]

You mean to say we're not going to do a Thanksgiving play?

[Mary Livingston]

No.

[Jack Benny]

Gee, and I was all set to be one of them pilgrims. Oh, fine. You'd make a great pilgrim, Phil.

[Don Wilson]

Well, I would.

[Jack Benny]

Listen, buddy, my ancestors came over on the Mayflower. Oh, did a Doc and Dixie. I thought your family always live in Tennessee. Not originally. You see, we migratated from Massachusetts. Migratated? You don't by any chance mean you migrated? All right, we move. Forget it. Migratated. You hear that, Mary?

[Mary Livingston]

Yeah, he put in an extra syllable in it.

[Jack Benny]

You're not Faluli.

[Don Wilson]

Ladies and gentlemen, before we get out of the mood, let me say a few words about Gilello.

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[Don Wilson]

It is economical, easy to make and comes in six delicious flavors. So look for the big red letters on the barats.

[Jack Benny]

Thanks, Don. You surveyed the day and now, ladies and gentlemen, as we have no Thanksgiving.

[Mary Livingston]

Play, Mary Livingston's gonna read a Thanksgiving poem.

[Jack Benny]

Oh, no, nothing doing.

[Mary Livingston]

Oh, gee, it's swell, Jack.

[Jack Benny]

I don't care. You're not going to read it.

[Mary Livingston]

Jack Benny, you let me read this poem or I won't buy my Christmas cards from you this year.

[Jack Benny]

All right. A lot I make on the ones you get. Don't even have your name printed on them. Now go ahead with your poem. Okay. What's the title of it?

[Mary Livingston]

The title is Thanksgiving. You're a little mixed up, aren't you kid?

[Jack Benny]

Well, that fits. Go ahead.

[Mary Livingston]

Oh, Thanksgiving, old Thanksgiving. You are with us twice this year. With your pumpkin pie and dressing and your turkey front and rear.

[Jack Benny]

That's the part I always get.

[Mary Livingston]

The pilgrims planned in days of yore that you'd come once, not anymore. But now you are a double feature and we don't know which day to greet yer.

[Jack Benny]

Greet her?

[Mary Livingston]

That's what I said, you gorgeous creature.

[Jack Benny]

Now don't be funny. Go ahead with the poem.

[Mary Livingston]

Suppose we had two everythings. Two New Year's Eves to laugh and sing. Two Christmases, two Labor days and two Jack Bennys with two toupees.

[Jack Benny]

Mary, you're too, too pressing.

[Don Wilson]

Are you through?

[Mary Livingston]

No, but I'm coming into the stretch.

[Jack Benny]

Oh.

[Mary Livingston]

So, Thanksgiving. I don't mind if you're a week before or a week behind. What's the difference? What's the heck? The turkey's the guy that gets it in the neck. The end.

[Jack Benny]

Very good, Mary. That was silly, but you came through. Flying colors. And now, Phil, how about a number to kind of break things up here? Okay, Jackson, what do you want us to play? Anything special?

[Don Wilson]

Well, you name it and we'll play it.

[Jack Benny]

All right. How about that number you rehearsed all morning? You know, the only one you can possibly play. Oh, okay. Hit it, boys. He asked for requests yet? Hold it a minute, Phil. Come in. Mr. Benny. Yes? Are you a little mixed up on account of the two Thanksgivings this year? Yes, I am. Why, I was in a fog when we only had one goodbye. He's not kidding, folks. He's got his shoes on backwards. Play Phil. Sad Terry Barry Bean a swing version of an old favorite played by Phil Harris and his orchestra. And now, fellas. Hey, what's the matter? Aren't you going to complain about the number we just played? No, Phil. I thought it was pretty good. I liked it, didn't you, Mary?

[Mary Livingston]

Yeah, it was. Well, did you like it, Don?

[Don Wilson]

I thought it was okay. How'd you like it, Jack?

[Jack Benny]

Oh, it was great. How'd you like Phil's number, Mary?

[Mary Livingston]

Well, I thought it was a little loud and fast. Didn't you, Don?

[Don Wilson]

Yes, it seemed a little off here and there. What did you think of it, Jack?

[Jack Benny]

I thought it was lousy. And now, fellas. Hey, what is this? A rib? Yes, Phil, we were just kidding. I thought your number sounded exceptionally good. Didn't you, Mary?

[Mary Livingston]

Feel me out. I'm tired.

[Jack Benny]

Now, fellas, as I started to say a little while ago, and before I forget it, Thursday being Thanksgiving, I want all of you to come over to my house for a real old fashioned turkey dinner. How about it?

[Don Wilson]

Oh, that's great, Jack.

[Jack Benny]

We'll be there with Dennis. This invitation goes for you, Walter.

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His mother, too.

[Jack Benny]

Yes, Mrs. Day. My party wouldn't be complete without you. You don't sound very sincere about it. What do you want me to do, send you a mash note? Glad to have you. The more the merrier. Good heavens.

[Mary Livingston]

Say, Jack, is this party going to be like the one you gave last Thanksgiving?

[Jack Benny]

What do you mean?

[Mary Livingston]

I mean, is the turkey going to be Legoland?

[Jack Benny]

Don't worry about that. Mary, this is going to be a real dinner. I've got the biggest, fattest, juiciest turkey you ever saw. Where'd you run over it? I didn't run over it. It's a live turkey I got in my garage. Right now it's roosting on my Maxwell.

[Mary Livingston]

That's all that car needs.

[Don Wilson]

Now.

[Jack Benny]

You wait till you see that bird. I bet it weigh 65 pounds.

[Don Wilson]

65 pounds? Why, Jack, you must be mistaken about that.

[Jack Benny]

Oh, no, I'm not, Don. I had it on the scales. It's an enormous £65. Are you kidding? I'm not kidding. Wait till next Thursday and you'll see for yourself. It's going to be a swell party.

[Don Wilson]

How many people are you expecting, Jack?

[Jack Benny]

Well, there'll be our gang. And then I invited Clark Gable and Carol Lombard, Bob Taylor and Barbara Stanwyck, Tyrone Power and Annabella.

[Mary Livingston]

Oh, Jack, you always ask them to every party you give and they never show up. Well, why don't you stop inviting them?

[Jack Benny]

I can't stop now. They'll think I'm mad at them. You know how it is. How can they be mad at you when they don't even know them? I don't even know them. Listen, Phil, I know every one of those stars personally.

[Mary Livingston]

Sure, Jack sells them their Christmas card.

[Jack Benny]

Mary, will you stop harping on that? The only reason you ever got cards from me is because I happen to have some left over every year. Oh, quiet. Now, don't forget, fellas, Thursday night at my house, boy, we're gonna have a big turkey and cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes. And don't guess what kind of Jello we're gonna have for dessert.

[Don Wilson]

Strawberry.

[Jack Benny]

No.

[Don Wilson]

Raspberry?

[Jack Benny]

No. Cherry? No.

[Don Wilson]

Orange? No. Lemon?

[Jack Benny]

No. Give up. Yes. Lies. You see, Don, you almost had it.

[Mary Livingston]

There's a kindergarten commercial if I ever heard one.

[Jack Benny]

Never mind. That's what we're going to have. Now look, kids, if I don't see you again before Thanksgiving, be sure and be at my house by seven o' clock sharp. And don't eat a big lunch, so you'll really enjoy the turkey. I'll take it. Hello?

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Hello, Mr. Benny? This is Rochester.

[Jack Benny]

All right, what do you want?

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Well, boss, I just heard you talking about a big Thanksgiving party Thursday night. That's my night off.

[Jack Benny]

I'm sorry, Rochester, but you'll have to work. You can take a day off some other time.

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I can get my twin brother to take my place.

[Jack Benny]

I don't want your twin brother.

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Well, he looks just like me.

[Jack Benny]

I don't care if he did. I want you to be at my house on Thursday night.

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How about me in spirit and my brother in person?

[Jack Benny]

Rochester, don't try any tricks. I can tell the difference between you and your twin brother.

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That's more than this gal.

[Jack Benny]

Kim. Never mind. Now, look, Rochester, I want you to get that turkey up to £70 by Thanksgiving so to go out in the garage and feed it.

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I'm working on the Christmas cards.

[Jack Benny]

They can wait. Now, go out in the garage and feed the turkey. Okay.

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Oh, say, boss, I meant to ask you something about that bird. Are you sure it's a turkey?

[Jack Benny]

What do you mean, am I sure it's a turkey?

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Well, I went out in the garage a few minutes ago and she laid an egg as big as a cantaloupe.

[Jack Benny]

As big as a cantaloupe? What are you talking about?

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Not only that, but every time I go in there, she sticks her head in a bucket of sand.

[Jack Benny]

What?

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Boss, you bought an ostrich.

[Jack Benny]

I bought an ostrich.

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That's right. She just ate the headlights off your car.

[Jack Benny]

The headlights? How do you know?

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She had two Adam's apples and they were going down fast.

[Jack Benny]

It's all your fault, Rocky. You were with me when I went shopping for a turkey. Why did you let me buy an ostrich?

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I told you it was a pretty big bird for the money. But, you know, you.

[Jack Benny]

Well, I guess there's nothing we can do about it now. Isn't that awful? I got a polar bear in the guest room and an ostrich in the.

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Garage and mice in the pantry. Let's move out.

[Jack Benny]

Now, don't get panicky, Rochester. I'll be home in a few minutes. Meanwhile, call up the market and order a turkey.

[Don Wilson]

Okay.

[Jack Benny]

Goodbye.

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Goodbye. Oh, say, boss.

[Jack Benny]

What?

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Have you changed your mind about using my twin brother Thursday night?

[Jack Benny]

No, I haven't.

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Well, I'll. I'll figure out something.

[Jack Benny]

Goodbye. Wait a minute, Rochester.

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Rochester.

[Jack Benny]

Well, I'll be darned.

[Mary Livingston]

What's the matter, Jack?

[Jack Benny]

Plenty. That big turkey I bought turned out to be an ostrich. Oh, boy.

[Mary Livingston]

You're gonna be lonesome on Thanksgiving.

[Jack Benny]

I am not. Now, Mary, don't worry. We're going to have a swell dinner. Play. Phil, I wonder if you can eat an ostrich. I don't know.

[Don Wilson]

This year, some folks are celebrating Thanksgiving on the 23rd of the month, others on the 30th. Well, either way, I'd like to offer a suggestion in regard to your holiday menu for dinner. Of course, there'll be plum pudding or pumpkin pie. But later on in the evening, when suppertime comes, bring the day's feasting to a fitting close with a truly out of the ordinary dessert, a shimmering dish of golden lemon jello. Now, there's really a luscious looking dessert, ladies and gentlemen, a grand treat, full of the ripe, tingling flavor of juicy lemons fresh from the tree and glowing with the warm color of sunshine. And you can serve it in shapely molds, garnished with fruit, nuts and maraschino cherries. Or it can be sliced into dainty cubes, tumbled into parfait glasses and topped with snowy whipped cream. Either way, it adds up to a mighty slick dessert that will catch every eye and capture every taste. And that goes for all the rest of the of jello. Six delicious flavors. Strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon and lime. Jello, remember, is a light dessert, just the thing to appeal after a heavy midday meal. And it's quick and easy to make with. And mother will appreciate it after working cooking a big Thanksgiving dinner. So order genuine jello from your grocer tomorrow.

[Jack Benny]

This is the last number of the seventh program in the current Jello series and we will be with you again next Sunday night at the same time. Now don't forget, Mary, next Thursday night at my house for a real Thanksgiving dinner.

[Mary Livingston]

Count me out, Jack.

[Jack Benny]

Now, wait a minute. I'm not gonna serve that ostrich. I'm gonna have a turkey.

[Mary Livingston]

Oh, yeah, right.

[Jack Benny]

Yes.

[Mary Livingston]

Well, if I find a headlight in the dressing, watch out.

[Jack Benny]

Oh, don't worry. Good night, folks. And a happy Thanksgiving, Jp cowbell.

[Don Wilson]

Here's news every Tuesday night. The Aldrich the Air, starring Ezra Stone as Henry Aldrich, that lovable hard luck kid. Consult your local newspaper or radio guide for time and stations and be sure to tune in on the Aldrich family next Tuesday night. Bluebirds in the moonlight is from Gulliver's Travels.

[Jack Benny]

This is the National Broadcasting Company.

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Spinquest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.