Jeff & Lucky 39-09-27 (Audition) 01

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio Episode: Jeff & Lucky 39-09-27 (Audition) 01
Release Date: January 16, 2025

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Introduction

In the premiere episode of "Jeff & Lucky," listeners are transported back to the Golden Age of Radio, where the adventures of a dapper gentleman and a street-smart hobo unfold aboard a speeding freight train. This pilot episode masterfully blends witty dialogue, suspense, and character development, setting the stage for what promises to be a beloved radio series.

Setting the Scene

The narrative opens under the cover of night on the outskirts of a bustling city. A long freight train chugs laboriously up a steep grade, symbolizing the slow yet steady progression of the story. The tranquil yet tense atmosphere is perfectly captured by the narrator, Vincent Pelletier, who sets the stage:

“[00:01] Vincent Pelletier: Presenting Olin Soule and Bill Boucher as Jeff and Lucky...”
“[00:14] ...the flaring light reveals an elegantly attired gentleman not five feet away from him, sitting nonchalantly on a suitcase.”

Character Introduction

The central characters, Jeff and Lucky, are introduced through a chance encounter within a boxcar. Jeff, portrayed by Olin Soule, is a refined gentleman with an air of mystery, while Lucky, voiced by Bill Boucher, is a rough-edged hobo with a penchant for street slang.

Jeff's Entrance:
Jeff enters the scene, attempting to light a cigarette, only to be startled by Lucky's sudden appearance.

“[00:55] Bill Boucher: Hey, who are you? Oh, hello.”
“[01:05] Bill Boucher: Plenty. You ain't no bloat in the glass stiff.”
“[01:14] Bill Boucher: What is it? See, you don't even know the lingo.”

Jeff's Composure:
Despite Lucky's abrasive demeanor, Jeff remains calm and collected, engaging in a witty exchange about their circumstances and appearances.

“[01:31] Olin Soule: Well, I'm sorry you don't approve of my clothes, but after all, do clothes make the man?”
“[01:52] Olin Soule: Excuse me, but I wish you'd light that cigarette before you burn your fingers.”

Developing the Plot

As the characters converse, the tension rises with hints of mystery surrounding Jeff's suitcase. Lucky's suspicion and Jeff's evasive responses create an intriguing dynamic that drives the narrative forward.

The Suitcase Mystery:
Jeff attempts to defuse the tension by revealing the contents of his suitcase, only to face skepticism from Lucky.

“[02:04] Olin Soule: Oh, my mistake. There, now, that's got it open...”
“[02:32] Bill Boucher: A cane? You got me stumped.”

Revelations and Suspense:
The dialogue evolves as Jeff reveals his unconventional mode of travel and Lucky shares his past, adding depth to their characters.

“[07:08] Olin Soule: Oh, you. You have tried working then?”
“[07:25] Bill Boucher: That's what you think I got so as I'd go home at night?... I hauled off and I punched that clock right in the face.”

Notable Quotes and Key Moments

The episode is peppered with memorable lines that highlight the characters' personalities and the story's underlying tension.

• Jeff's Optimism:
  “[08:05] Olin Soule: You know, you make me feel very optimistic about this venture of mine, especially now that I'm replete with food.”

• Music on the Train:
  “[08:23] Bill Boucher: ... it's a sprightly little ditty. You know, I like that. Da, da, da, da, da part.”
  “[09:03] Vincent Pelletier: Yes, yes, that's it.”

• The Decision to Escape:
  “[09:29] Olin Soule: Well, what of it?”
  “[09:45] Bill Boucher: Yeah.”

• The Mysterious Envelope:
  “[13:42] Bill Boucher: That brown envelope, why'd you have it hid?”
  “[14:09] Olin Soule: ... the envelope contains, well, one might say, the fate of a nation and the fate of a beautiful lady.”

Climactic Action

As the train slows down, signaling potential danger, Lucky devises a plan to evade detection. The duo must act swiftly to secure Jeff's suitcase containing the enigmatic brown envelope.

The Escape Attempt:
Lucky instructs Jeff on how to jump off the train, emphasizing the need for quick action.

“[09:47] Bill Boucher: No, don't let that dark bother you... Go ahead, get going and I'll follow you.”
“[10:37] Olin Soule: Well, you're kind of all right yourself.”

Peril on the Roof:
The tension peaks as Jeff and Lucky find themselves on the roof of the speeding train, struggling to maintain balance while safeguarding the suitcase.

“[12:00] Bill Boucher: Here.”
“[13:31] Olin Soule: ...I've got a distinct feeling that I'm about to break my neck.”

Conclusion and Teaser for Future Episodes

The episode concludes with Jeff and Lucky successfully evading immediate danger, but the mystery of the brown envelope remains unresolved. Vincent Pelletier teases future adventures, leaving listeners eager for the next installment.

“[14:32] Vincent Pelletier: ...but will Jeff manage to stay on the roof without losing either his balance, his cane or the mysterious brown envelope? And what is Jeff, a gentleman with a 14 carat background, doing on a freight train anyhow?... tune in tomorrow for another amusing interlude with Jeff and Lucky.”

Final Thoughts

This pilot episode of "Jeff & Lucky" effectively captures the essence of classic radio dramas, combining engaging storytelling with dynamic character interactions. The blend of humor, suspense, and mystery sets a promising foundation for the series, inviting listeners to join Jeff and Lucky on their thrilling escapades across the rails.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Initial Encounter:
  “[00:55] Bill Boucher: Hey, who are you? Oh, hello.”

• Jeff's Retort:
  “[01:31] Olin Soule: Well, I'm sorry you don't approve of my clothes, but after all, do clothes make the man?”

• Lucky’s Frustration:
  “[02:23] Bill Boucher: Yeah, well, not side door Pullmans, brother.”

• Sharing Food:
  “[05:18] Bill Boucher: Limburger. A lady gave it to me this morning... have some.”

• Music Contribution:
  “[08:23] Bill Boucher: ... it's a sprightly little ditty. You know, I like that.”

• Preparing to Escape:
  “[09:45] Bill Boucher: Yeah.”

• Mystery of the Envelope:
  “[13:42] Bill Boucher: That brown envelope, why'd you have it hid?”

• Teaser for Next Episode:
  “[14:32] Vincent Pelletier: ...tune in tomorrow for another amusing interlude with Jeff and Lucky.”

Transcript

[Vincent Pelletier]

Presenting Olin Soule and Bill Boucher as Jeff and Lucky. Written by Mildred hark and Noel McQueen. As our story begins, it is night time and on the outskirts of a big city, a long freight train which has been puffing its way laboriously up a steep grade, is starting to pick up speed. Inside one of the boxcars stands a shabbily clad figure rolling a cigarette. He has only just managed to swing aboard and the accelerating chug. Chug of the engine is music to his ears. Now he strikes a match and is startled as the flaring light reveals an elegantly attired gentleman not five feet away from him, sitting nonchalantly on a suitcase.

[Bill Boucher]

Hey, who are you? Oh, hello.

[Olin Soule]

Are we sharing this boxcar?

[Bill Boucher]

What are you doing in here?

[Olin Soule]

The same thing you are, I suppose. Any objections?

[Bill Boucher]

Plenty. You ain't no bloat in the glass stiff.

[Olin Soule]

No, no, I've been called a lot of things, but never a bloat in the glass stiff.

[Bill Boucher]

What is it? See, you don't even know the lingo. Why, as stiffs as regular bums like. Like me. And look at you all dressed up. Fancy pants. And I'll be you even got a flower in your buttonhole. Now ain't that cute?

[Olin Soule]

Well, I'm sorry you don't approve of my clothes, but after all, do clothes make the man?

[Bill Boucher]

I don't like the looks of it, that's all. Hey, what's in that suitcase?

[Olin Soule]

Well, now, let me see.

[Bill Boucher]

I'll bet you made a hole.

[Olin Soule]

A what?

[Bill Boucher]

A haul. Now lookit here. If you got that suitcase full of stolen ice or something, you better get out of here fast. I don't want nothing to do with no crooks.

[Olin Soule]

Excuse me, but I wish you'd light that cigarette before you burn your fingers. Well now, if you're really so anxious to know what's in my suitcase, I have this flashlight.

[Bill Boucher]

Look out. Look out where you shine that thing. Do you want the whole caboose crew in here?

[Olin Soule]

Oh, my mistake. There, now, that's got it open. Now, you see a few toilet articles, three shirts, a couple of ties, one extra suit, my electric razor.

[Bill Boucher]

Yeah, I suppose you'll be plugging that in any minute now, huh?

[Olin Soule]

Well, they did tell me it'd work in Pullman cars.

[Bill Boucher]

Yeah, well, not side door Pullmans, brother. Hey, what's that thing under your arm there?

[Olin Soule]

Why, this?

[Bill Boucher]

Yeah.

[Olin Soule]

Why, it's just my cane.

[Bill Boucher]

A cane? You got me stumped. Now look, if you didn't steal anything, then what's a guy like you doing riding the rails?

[Olin Soule]

Well, you see, I just wanted to. To get away.

[Bill Boucher]

Away?

[Olin Soule]

Yes.

[Bill Boucher]

Away from what? Ah, then you did commit something.

[Olin Soule]

No, no, not a thing. Shall we say that I just wanted to be, well, free?

[Bill Boucher]

I can get that part all right. And it's just like me.

[Olin Soule]

Ah, now we're beginning to understand each other.

[Bill Boucher]

But I still don't see why you're beaten your way. Well, you look like a guy that's been used to travel in this style. Yachts, private cars.

[Olin Soule]

Well, this car was private before you got in, huh?

[Bill Boucher]

Okay, mister, okay. You don't want to answer questions, I ain't got no business asking them. I'll say this for you. You got what it takes.

[Olin Soule]

Well, thank you.

[Bill Boucher]

Yeah, but how you ever boarded this rattler before she slowed down for the grade is more than I know.

[Olin Soule]

Oh, it's quite simple. You see, I was in the station.

[Bill Boucher]

What? You mean to tell me you got on when she stopped downtown?

[Olin Soule]

Why, yes.

[Bill Boucher]

Now, wait a minute. Next thing you'll be telling me a red cap helped you with the suitcase.

[Olin Soule]

Well, as a matter of fact, he did, huh? Yes, very accommodating he was, too. He pushed open the door there and helped me. Oh, wait a minute.

[Bill Boucher]

Now, look here, brother, if you're trying to kid me. What?

[Olin Soule]

My dear fellow, I assure you I'm not. Of course, you understand, I had to tip the boy, and that had me worried for a minute because I didn't have a dime.

[Bill Boucher]

Yeah? Well, then how?

[Olin Soule]

I. I gave him the key to my car.

[Bill Boucher]

What?

[Olin Soule]

Yes, he seemed quite pleased, too. It's a nice car. 16 cylinder.

[Bill Boucher]

16 cylinder? You gave the key to. You're crazy.

[Olin Soule]

Why, no, not at all. It was the most rational thing to do. I ran out of gas just outside the station. I've told you, I had no money to buy more with, so the car was of no use to me.

[Bill Boucher]

Well, maybe you're right, but it seems an awful funny way of doing things.

[Olin Soule]

But why? I'm sure I'm going to like this mode of travel much better anyway. Yes. Yes, we must be doing 40 or 50 miles an hour. Don't even have to bother steering.

[Bill Boucher]

Yeah, you got something there, brother. But. Hey, wait a minute. Dowse that light. All right.

[Olin Soule]

But why?

[Bill Boucher]

Well, don't you see? We're on a curve. Maybe the caboose is far enough back for him to spot this open door. Oh, wait a minute, Al. Okay, it's shut now. Go ahead. You can light up again.

[Olin Soule]

Very good.

[Bill Boucher]

Well, what's the matter?

[Olin Soule]

You know, since you closed that door, I seem to detect A strange odor. Do you suppose a rat could have passed away in here?

[Bill Boucher]

A rat?

[Olin Soule]

Yes.

[Bill Boucher]

No, no, that's my sandwich.

[Olin Soule]

Your what?

[Bill Boucher]

My sandwich. Here. Yeah, he is pretty strong, all right.

[Olin Soule]

Well, I. I don't like to be curious, but. What is it?

[Bill Boucher]

Limburger. A lady gave it to me this morning. Oh, here. Here, have some.

[Olin Soule]

Now, you're. You're sure it doesn't taste the way it smells?

[Bill Boucher]

No, no, that smell ain't nothing to get it. It's just the nature of Limburger. Ah, there's nothing better.

[Olin Soule]

Go on.

[Bill Boucher]

Go on and have a hunk.

[Olin Soule]

Well, I am a trifle hungry, but.

[Bill Boucher]

Yeah, well, wait a minute. Maybe. Maybe you'd like these better frankfurters.

[Olin Soule]

Yes, I think I would. Say, where's this piece coming from?

[Bill Boucher]

Oh, out of my pockets. Oh, wait. Here. Here in my shirts. The buns to go with the dogs. Yeah. See that? A whole bag of them.

[Olin Soule]

My, my, such a large.

[Bill Boucher]

Yes, such what?

[Olin Soule]

I mean, such a. Such a quantity of food.

[Bill Boucher]

Oh. Oh, well, you ain't seen half of it. Wait a minute. Get this other pocket here. Jar of dill pickles. Yep. And over here's a bottle of java. It's cold, but price this afternoon. Oh, yeah, yeah. Almost forgot. Bananas for dessert, but go ahead, eat. What you waiting for?

[Olin Soule]

Why, not a thing. I. I think I'll start on a frankfurter.

[Bill Boucher]

Yeah, go ahead, eat them all. I. I don't want any.

[Olin Soule]

Well, don't you care for them?

[Bill Boucher]

Sure I do, but I can't eat them without mustard.

[Olin Soule]

No?

[Bill Boucher]

No.

[Olin Soule]

Well, I'm hungry enough right now to enjoy them in the nude. So here goes.

[Bill Boucher]

Enjoy them in the nude. That's good. Red Hot's in the news.

[Olin Soule]

Well, it's nice of you to appreciate my feeble efforts, but in the nude? You know, it doesn't seem quite fair you're supplying all the food like this.

[Bill Boucher]

Oh, don't worry nothing about that. Wouldn't be no use living if you couldn't help a guy out once in a while.

[Olin Soule]

Tell me, how long have you been traveling about like this?

[Bill Boucher]

Hmm? Oh, let's see. Kind of hard to figure. Well, anyway, ever since I quit my job.

[Olin Soule]

Oh, you. You have tried working then?

[Bill Boucher]

Oh, yeah, sure, sure. Yeah, I worked in a factory for five years. And you know what I was when I got done? I was employee number 2875, putting leg number 59x on bathtub number 676.

[Olin Soule]

Why, that's very interesting.

[Bill Boucher]

That's what you think I got so as I'd go home at night? And I'd dream about bathtubs.

[Olin Soule]

You don't say.

[Bill Boucher]

Yeah.

[Olin Soule]

Were they full or empty bathtubs?

[Bill Boucher]

They was worse than that, brother. They was upside down.

[Olin Soule]

No.

[Bill Boucher]

Yeah. Then something happened. One morning, I was standing in line waiting to punch the clock. Something come over me and.

[Olin Soule]

You didn't punch it?

[Bill Boucher]

Yeah. Yes, I did. Here, look. See them scars of my knuckles? See, right there. My, my. Well, sir, I hauled off and I punched that clock right in the face.

[Olin Soule]

Bravo.

[Bill Boucher]

You bet. I turned and I walked out of that joint. I ain't never been tied down to any place since. I just go around, see the world. Yeah, it's great stuff.

[Olin Soule]

You know, you make me feel very optimistic about this venture of mine, especially now that I'm replete with food.

[Bill Boucher]

Replete? Oh, yeah. I suppose you mean you had enough. Yeah. Well, then, how'd you like a little music, eh?

[Olin Soule]

Music? Now, wait a minute. Don't tell me you've got a radio secreted in that trick shirt of yours.

[Bill Boucher]

No, no, no, no. But wait a minute. I got. Got a mouth organ, see? Oh, listen to this. Now, how do you like that, huh?

[Olin Soule]

My dear fellow, you really astound. First we dine and now music. Well, that's a sprightly little ditty. You know, I like that. Da, da, da, da, da part.

[Bill Boucher]

Oh. Oh, you mean this?

[Vincent Pelletier]

Yes, yes, that's it.

[Bill Boucher]

Yeah, that happens to be my own stuff. Sort of come to me while I was sitting in the ditch this afternoon waiting for this freight to come along. You know, it's funny. I never think of a new tune all winter long. But then, soon as spring starts coming, well, seems as old as music right in the air. And all you got to do is just reach right out and pick it right out of the air.

[Olin Soule]

You really think spring has something to.

[Bill Boucher]

Do with it, eh? Wait a minute, wait a minute. This train's slowing down.

[Olin Soule]

Well, what of it?

[Bill Boucher]

Plenty. This ain't no regular stop. It means they may have spotted us. But how? I don't know. Sometimes the brakeman walks the decks looking for stiffs. Just our lucky was on top of this car and heard me playing tunes. Come on, get moving, brother. We gotta hit the gravel.

[Olin Soule]

Well, you mean. You mean jump off before it stops?

[Bill Boucher]

Yeah.

[Olin Soule]

Just step calmly out into the night.

[Bill Boucher]

No, don't let that dark bother you. Now, look, lean way back when you jump like you wanted to. Land on your back. And when you hit, start running. The speed of the train will stand here. Oh, now, come on, get going and I'll follow you.

[Olin Soule]

You're the doctor. Or should I say Cor?

[Bill Boucher]

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Before you go, let me handle that suit. Give me that. All right, now, go ahead. Go ahead. Jump. Get. Okay, now. Hey. Hey, Fancy pants, where are you? Here, in the ditch. Are you okay?

[Olin Soule]

Well, I. I haven't finished taking inventory yet.

[Bill Boucher]

Are you all right?

[Olin Soule]

One thing is certain. That name Fancy Pants isn't as appropriate as when you first used it, huh? I made a three point landing and did more sliding than running. But I've still got my cane.

[Bill Boucher]

Don't mean it. You're all right, brother. Takes nerve to hit the gravel and dark like that. You're all right.

[Olin Soule]

Well, you're kind of all right yourself.

[Bill Boucher]

Say, you know, I have been thinking. How'd you like to, well, sort of stick with me?

[Olin Soule]

Why, I deem it a privilege and an honor to travel with a bloat in the glass stiff.

[Bill Boucher]

You would? Okay, it's a deal. Here, put it there, partner. Oh, my name is Lucky.

[Olin Soule]

Well, I'm very glad to know you're Lucky. Jeffrey is the name my fond parents hung on me.

[Bill Boucher]

Yeah. How are you, Jeffrey? It's Fancy like your pants. All right. Well, I'm gonna call you Jeff.

[Vincent Pelletier]

All right.

[Bill Boucher]

Wait a minute. Stay down. We gotta lay low until the brakeman gets past. Look, you see that red light ahead there? Yes. Yeah. Well, that's his lantern. He's found out we ain't in the car by this time. And any minute now he'll be giving him the high sign to go ahead. Now, look at here. We gotta work fast. Oh, here. Open up that suitcase and stow stuff in your pockets. All right, but get it open.

[Olin Soule]

Don't I look rather bulgy?

[Bill Boucher]

Yeah. Do like I say. Oh, here, here, give me some of them duds. Tie em around my middle. Here, like this. Do that.

[Olin Soule]

Take it. My suitcase and Hire Parting Company.

[Bill Boucher]

You can't board no moving freight one handed, you know. Come on, give me some more. Wait a minute. There she goes. Are you ready?

[Olin Soule]

No, not yet. Have you got a knife, Lucky?

[Bill Boucher]

Knife? Yeah. What? What?

[Olin Soule]

I've got to slit the lining of the suitcase.

[Bill Boucher]

Slit the lining?

[Olin Soule]

Yes, yes. There happens to be a little brown envelope secreted in there.

[Bill Boucher]

Huh?

[Olin Soule]

Come on, come on. The knife, Lucky.

[Bill Boucher]

Here, Here.

[Olin Soule]

Okay, thanks.

[Bill Boucher]

Look, Jeff, I don't get this. There.

[Olin Soule]

Here's what I want.

[Bill Boucher]

Well, if you got it, come on, then we gotta ride the bumper.

[Olin Soule]

Yes, all right. Bumpers.

[Bill Boucher]

Here.

[Olin Soule]

Oh, yes, bumpers. Hurry up, Fred, about those. How about our private car?

[Bill Boucher]

We'll never make it the way she's picking up speed. Come on, keep running.

[Olin Soule]

Yes.

[Bill Boucher]

Grab the steps of this car as they come past.

[Olin Soule]

Well, I hope the steps are where I grab.

[Bill Boucher]

Go ahead. I'll be right behind you. Go ahead. Go on, move up.

[Olin Soule]

You know, I think I made it.

[Bill Boucher]

That was nice going, Jeff.

[Olin Soule]

Daring young man on the flying trapeze.

[Bill Boucher]

Yeah.

[Vincent Pelletier]

Now, look.

[Bill Boucher]

Reach around the corner with your foot there and find the bumper.

[Olin Soule]

That sounds like a splendid idea, Lucky, but I've been prodding about with my cane and I don't think there is one.

[Bill Boucher]

Oh, wait, wait. Let me try. There.

[Olin Soule]

Go ahead.

[Bill Boucher]

Get to one side.

[Olin Soule]

You see? See? There's nothing but space.

[Bill Boucher]

Wouldn't you know it? We picked a couple of icebox cars without no bumpers.

[Olin Soule]

It's an outrage. We'll complain to the management. You know, frankly, I don't fancy hanging onto the side like this.

[Bill Boucher]

No, it's too hard in the arms. Well, we got a hit for the upper deck.

[Olin Soule]

Upper deck?

[Bill Boucher]

Yeah.

[Olin Soule]

You mean climb up there and walk about on the roof?

[Bill Boucher]

Sure, sure. It ain't so bad. Of course, it's kind of slippery sometimes. The main thing is to keep your balance.

[Olin Soule]

Yes, as I can see, that'd be essential.

[Bill Boucher]

All right. Come on, Jeff. Come on. I'll go first and you follow me up.

[Olin Soule]

All right. I do think they might have been a little more generous with these steps.

[Bill Boucher]

Not very big. Well, you can't expect no winding staircase, you know. Come on.

[Olin Soule]

No, I suppose not. But I do wish I had a parachute. You know, Lucky, I have a distinct feeling that I'm about to break my neck.

[Bill Boucher]

Oh, no. Come on, keep coming. That's it.

[Olin Soule]

Well, so this is riding the deck.

[Bill Boucher]

Yep.

[Olin Soule]

That's not so bad once you're up here.

[Bill Boucher]

Oh, no, it's okay. But, Jeff.

[Olin Soule]

Yes?

[Bill Boucher]

That brown envelope, why'd you have it hid?

[Olin Soule]

Why? Well, because there are persons who'd like very much to get a hold of it, Lucky.

[Bill Boucher]

Well, what's in it?

[Olin Soule]

Well, I'm afraid I can't tell you that.

[Bill Boucher]

You. You didn't steal it, did you?

[Olin Soule]

That's a difficult question to answer. But if it'll relieve your mind any, I can assure you that it isn't money.

[Bill Boucher]

Not money?

[Olin Soule]

No.

[Bill Boucher]

Well, what else would you want to be hiding?

[Olin Soule]

What, indeed? Well, I'll tell you this much, Lucky. The envelope contains, well, one might say, the fate of a nation and the fate of a beautiful lady.

[Vincent Pelletier]

And so we leave Jeff and Lucky perched precariously on the top of a speeding freight train. Of course, it's an old story to Lucky. But will Jeff manage to stay on the roof without losing either his balance, his cane or the mysterious brown envelope? And what is Jeff, a gentleman with a 14 carat background, doing on a freight train anyhow? Search me, but be sure to tune in tomorrow for another amusing interlude with Jeff and Lucky. The gentleman and. And the hobo. Jeff and Lucky is a copyrighted feature. This is Vincent Pelletier speaking.