Podcast Summary

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: Jimmy Durante-Garry Moore Show – Thanksgiving Pilgrim Opera (1946-11-22)
Airdate: November 8, 2025 (rebroadcast)
Theme: Golden Age of Radio comedy extravaganza featuring iconic duo Jimmy Durante and Garry Moore, playful Thanksgiving-themed sketches, music, and a parody opera.

Main Theme & Purpose

This episode showcases a classic 1946 broadcast of "The Jimmy Durante-Garry Moore Show," brought to modern audiences by Harold's Old Time Radio. The program is a lively, joke-filled celebration of family radio entertainment, focusing on Thanksgiving festivities. The highlight is a comedic "Pilgrim Opera," a playful musical retelling of classic Thanksgiving lore, all delivered in the show's unmistakable, quick-witted comedic style.

Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Opening Banter and Thanksgiving Raffle

• [01:10-02:30] Garry Moore kicks off the show with playful banter and hosts an annual turkey raffle, joking that if the winner isn’t present, he’ll claim the turkey himself.
• Audience interaction is simulated for comic effect.

Memorable quote:

• "If the person with the winning number is not in the audience tonight, the turkey automatically becomes mine." – Garry Moore [01:47]

2. Courtesy and Etiquette Sketch

• [03:01-04:08] Garry and Suzanne Ellers riff on the lost art of courtesy, with tongue-in-cheek “etiquette lessons.”
• Jokes about the changing times, cumbersome purses, and modern manners:

Notable exchange:

• "In the old days, if a gentleman was walking along with a lady and they came to a mud puddle, he’d take off the coat and spread it over the puddle... Now, he uses your coat!" – Garry Moore [03:17]

3. Jimmy Durante’s Arrival and Washington Adventure

• [04:31-10:33] Jimmy bursts in with comic songs and tales of being a cabinet “Minister Without Portfolio” for President Truman.
• Wild stories about fixing swimming pool leaks, mingling with royalty, and absurd banquet planning.
• Segues into banter about etiquette disasters at formal events:

Notable quotes:

• "We called in the Secretary of the Navy, the Secretary of War... Even they couldn't figure out how to stop the leak in my swimming pool." – Jimmy Durante [05:38]
• "He appointed me Minister Without Portfolio... a big country like this and they can't even afford to buy me a briefcase." – Jimmy Durante [06:42]
• "I'll hold the olive pit in my right hand and when the Duke shakes hands with me to say good night... I let go." – Jimmy Durante [09:59]
• "I didn't mind putting on his garter, but a guy's gotta draw the line somewhere." – Jimmy Durante [10:33]

4. Ancestral Legends: The Invention of the Kiss

• [12:32-17:27] Garry spins an outlandish yarn about his ancestor “Casanova Moore,” who supposedly invented the kiss through various preposterous romantic rituals.
• Episode is full of slapstick historical anachronisms and build-up to the discovery of the kiss via eating a pickle from both ends.

Notable moments:

• "In those days, couples engaged in a form of affection called dipple dipling... you slap her in the face with a wet herring." – Garry Moore [13:29]
• "Their lips came closer and closer until finally Casanova bit past his half..." [15:19]
• "'Oh Casanova, before you leave me, Give me just one more dipple dive.'" – Suzanne Ellers as Sweetheart [13:44]

5. Musical Interlude: Suzanne Ellis Sings

• [17:47-20:10] After comic praise from Jimmy, Suzanne Ellis delivers a sentimental ballad ("For You, For Me, Forevermore"), providing a melodic break from the jokes.

Introduction exchange:

• "That's a Durani secret, Susie ... every morning I swab my throat with two parts cayenne pepper, a jigger of creosote, a dash of Kim tune and a pound and a half of grated garlic." – Jimmy Durante [17:56]
• "And does that make you sing?" – Suzanne Ellis [18:10]
• "If you don't open your mouth, you suffocate!" – Jimmy Durante [18:12]

6. The Thanksgiving Pilgrim Opera (The Showpiece)

• [21:49-26:40] The episode peaks with a Thanksgiving “opera”—a broad send-up of Pilgrim romance, starring:
  • Jimmy Durante as Miles Standish (brash and outlandish)
  • Garry Moore as John Alden (romantic underdog)
  • Suzanne Ellis as Priscilla (the sought-after heroine)
  • Howard Petrie provides tongue-in-cheek narration and chorus lines.
• The opera parodies melodrama and operatic conventions, featuring clever rhymes, comedic bravado, mistaken identities, and playful love triangle antics.

Standout moments:

• "In this opera, ladies and gentlemen, I sing for two hours without taking a breath." – Jimmy Durante [21:59]
• "How can you sing for two hours without taking a breath?" – Garry Moore [22:04]
• "Storage tank in my nose." – Jimmy Durante [22:07]
• "Her skin is like a peach... sort of fuzzy and wet." – Garry Moore [24:00]
• "Oh, get up, Miles, you're kneeling in her jello." – Garry Moore [25:24]
• "Can that be a fact? Everybody wants to get into the act." – Garry Moore [26:30]

7. Finale and Comic Coffee Ritual

• [27:52-28:37] After closing banter about shopping and coffee brewing (“the secret is to open at the right moment—you get it right in the eye!”), the cast says their goodnights with signature wit.
• Running gags about Garry’s nose, Jimmy’s jokes, and classic vaudeville sign-off tradition.

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• "Where do you think I'm calling from?" – Jimmy Durante, on reckless driving ([01:03])
• "I mingled with all kinds of royalty... maquises and their maccassins."
  • "Not moccasins... Marchioness!" – Garry Moore corrects the comedic malapropism ([08:45])
• "Ask a guy a question and he joins the Foreign Legion." – Jimmy Durante ([08:56])
• "A man's gotta draw the line somewhere." – Durante, on the Queen's 'Knight of the Bath' offer ([10:33])
• "In those days, couples...slapped her in the face with a wet herring." – Moore, on 'dipple dipling' ([13:32])
• "You double cross me, Budny will have to operate 40 times to remove the lead from your..." – Durante's threat to Moore ([24:13])
• "Oh, get up, Miles. You're kneeling in her jello." – Punchline in the opera ([25:24])
• "Can that be a fact? Everybody wants to get into the act." – Moore, highlighting the playful chaos ([26:30])
• "Well, if you open the top at that point, you get it right in the eye." – Durante, revealing secret of coffee making ([28:16])

Structure & Flow

• Comedy is king: Jokes, musical punchlines, and rapid-fire banter are ever-present, keeping a light, vaudevillian tone.
• Musicality: Both playful and heartfelt musical numbers break up the sketch comedy.
• Thanksgiving spirit: Throughout, the episode lampoons and leans into holiday customs, gratitude, and family fun with irreverence and warmth.
• Live audience feel: The dynamics and delivery are lively, as if performed before a crowd, adding to its classic charm.

For New Listeners

This episode is a loving time capsule of radio variety, brimming with slapstick, wordplay, period wit, and imaginative song-and-dance humor. The Thanksgiving "opera" is a zany highlight, and the episode bursts with comic chemistry and musical flair. If you enjoy classic American humor, theatrical sketches, or historic radio, this episode is quintessential listening.

End of summary.