Joe And Mabel 1941-03-02 Joe Writes A Poem

Summary

Podcast Summary: Joe And Mabel 1941-03-02 - "Joe Writes A Poem"

Harold's Old Time Radio presents a heartfelt and humorous episode from the beloved radio serial "Joe and Mabel." Titled "Joe Writes A Poem," this installment delves into the romantic misadventures of Joe Aquacius, a hardworking cabbie, and his spirited girlfriend, Mabel. Written by Irving Gaynor Neuman and released on April 1, 2025, the episode skillfully captures the essence of the Golden Age of Radio, weaving together themes of love, misunderstanding, and reconciliation.

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Introduction

The episode opens with Ted Decor recounting familiar characters:

"[00:21] Ted Decor: It's time to meet Joe and Mabel again, those very human beings."

Joe, portrayed by Ted Decor, is a relatable everyman navigating the complexities of romance, while Mabel, voiced by Ann Thomas, embodies the charm and vivacity of the era's leading ladies. Supporting characters include Sherman, Mabel's mischievous younger brother, and Mike, Joe's loyal cabbie friend.

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Plot Summary

A. The Setup: Joe's Forgetfulness and Mike's Advice

As Valentine's Day approaches, Joe realizes he's forgotten to prepare a gift for Mabel. Feeling the pressure of the occasion, he confides in Mike.

"[01:45] Joe: I didn't get enough for Valentine's Day. So I might as well cut my own throat right now because I'm cooked but good."

Mike, ever the voice of reason, advises Joe against traditional gifts, suggesting a more personal approach:

"[03:10] Mike: But if you do like and write her a poem, you're into velvet. Write her a what? A poem. It's easy."

Encouraged by Mike's success with another woman, Dolly, Joe decides to pen a heartfelt poem accompanied by flowers, hoping to win Mabel's affection without exorbitant spending.

B. Composing the Poem

At a local coffee house, Joe and Mike brainstorm the perfect lines:

"[05:18] Ted Decor: But still. Will you be my valentine? Mabel?"

Despite a few creative hurdles, they craft a sincere poem:

"[07:18] Joe: When it's done, I'll read it to you."

C. The Mishap: Misunderstandings with the Poem

After sending the poem anonymously, Joe anticipates a warm reception. Instead, Mabel appears distant and contemplative. Confused by her behavior, Joe seeks clarity at the movies, where an enigmatic woman named Cynthia confronts him:

"[10:46] Cynthia: I'm here, my darling. What further proof do you need?"

This surreal encounter leaves Joe bewildered, realizing that something has gone awry. Upon returning home, Mabel confronts him about the poem, interpreting it as a marriage proposal rather than a Valentine's gesture, leading to tension between them.

D. Blackmail and Desperation

Sherman, Mabel's crafty younger brother, enters the fray, demanding two bits in exchange for silence about Joe's involvement with the poem:

"[16:17] Sherman: Or else I tell Mabel that was you who writ them poems."

Feeling the weight of responsibility, Joe grapples with shame and the fear of losing Mabel.

E. The Plan with Dolly

Desperate to rectify the situation, Joe and Mike devise a plan to enlist Dolly's help. They aim to convince Mabel that the poems are the work of a misguided suitor, thereby alleviating any misconceptions and restoring their relationship.

At the restaurant, Dolly steps into her role, engaging Mabel in conversation to dispel the misunderstandings:

"[25:42] Dolly: Listen, I know your type. What do you think my type's anyway?"

Through Dolly's intervention, Mabel begins to see Joe's true intentions, realizing that the poem was a sincere, albeit misinterpreted, expression of love.

F. Resolution and Reconciliation

The culmination of their efforts leads to a heartfelt reconciliation. Joe presents Mabel with silk stockings, symbolizing his understanding of her desires:

"[27:26] Joe: So you see, like I'm telling you, some girls homes maybe are all right. Or with Mabel. And I bet you with 99% of all the women stockings is safe for all around."

Mabel appreciates the gesture, acknowledging the depth of Joe's feelings:

"[27:38] Mabel: It's beautiful. Silk stockings. See, Joey, that's the nicest present you can get a girl."

The episode concludes with the couple reaffirming their love, while Sherman bids farewell, having achieved his objective.

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Character Developments

• Joe Aquacius: Demonstrates growth from forgetfulness to proactive problem-solving. His journey underscores the importance of thoughtful gestures over material possessions.

• Mabel Stooler: Evolves from confusion and distance to understanding and appreciation, highlighting her depth and capacity for forgiveness.

• Mike: Acts as the confidant and advisor, embodying unwavering friendship and wisdom.

• Sherman: Adds a layer of conflict and urgency, representing external pressures in relationships.

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Notable Quotes

• Joe on the Difficulty of Winning Women:

  "[00:45] Joe: When it comes to women, there ain't even any odds. You just can't do it."

• Mike on the Power of Poetry:

  "[05:19] Mike: But if you do like and write her a poem, you're into velvet. Write her a poem. It's easy."

• Joe's Realization of Misunderstanding:

  "[14:20] Joe: What do you mean, like poetry? That's a laugh."

• Dolly’s Insight on Mabel:

  "[24:21] Dolly: It's like the way Gary Cooper is. When he's worried in the pictures."

• Mabel’s Heartfelt Response:

  "[27:38] Mabel: It's beautiful. Silk stockings. See, Joey, that's the nicest present you can get a girl."

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Conclusion

"Joe Writes A Poem" masterfully encapsulates the charm and intricacies of romantic endeavors during the Golden Age of Radio. Through witty dialogues, relatable characters, and unexpected twists, the episode delivers a timeless message: genuine affection and understanding transcend material gifts. Listeners are treated to a story that is as entertaining as it is meaningful, reminding us that the simplest gestures often carry the most profound impact.

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Performed by Ted Decor (Joe), Ann Thomas (Mabel), and Walter Kinsella (Mike), with supporting roles by Jackie Grimes, Gene Ellen, Joseph Curtin, and Helen Clare.

Transcript

[Ted Decor]

It's time to meet Joe and Mabel again, those very human beings. Irving Gaynor Nyman brings you another story in the far from placid lives of Joel Aquacius cabby and his spirited girlfriend. And throws in for good measure another glimpse of Sherman, Mabel's kid brother. And of course, Joe's stalwart cabbie friend, Mike. Well, today we have a look at what happened on St. Valentine's Day. Wait a minute. Here's Joe to tell you all about it. Well, like I'm telling you, it ain't easy to beat the races, even if it sometimes happens. But when it comes to women, there ain't even any odds. You just can't do it. Now, take around Valentine's Day, you figure everything should like milk and honey. But like I'm going to show you, it don't all the time work out that way. Well, all this starts about two weeks ago. You see, we're standing around the cab, Mike and me and a couple of the other fellows. They don't bother me none. I can take them or leave them. Yeah? Who's that? Mike? Who do you think? The women I'm talking about. If you know how to handle them right, you ain't in trouble. Ah, all of a sudden you're an exploit, is that. Why don't you tell him about that time with that redhead over in Flatbush? What about her? You mean Dolly? Yeah, that's the one. Dolly. Listen, fell. Listen, Kim, Mike's over at Dolly's house this time, see, he's sitting with her in the park. All right, all right. You don't have to shoot off your big mouth at the whole world, do you? I ain't saying I'm right all the time. You're telling me. All right, wise guy. How'd you like to know I'm back solid and Flatbush? Even after what happened? Yeah. What are you giving me bedtime stories? Look, I bet you're even afraid to go across the Williamsbur. I gotta tell you this. Will you whack. Laughing Mike's out in the Flatbush. See, I tell you, I got it all that fixed now so you don't have to make up no stories. You gotta show me. Mike, how'd you do it? Did you buy her a diamond Ferrara or something? Yeah. That shows what you know, Julie and all that stuff is all right. But if you wanna really get in solid, I got the only way. And it's cheaper too. Yeah? What's that? Yeah. Yeah, I'll show you. What I done last week is Valentine Day. See? So instead of going out, what did you say? I says instead. I don't know about Valentine's Day. When is it going to be Valentine's Day? It ain't going to be. It was last week. On Wednesday it was. Oh, last week. You kidding me? Something. Listen, you want to hear this or don't you? Sure. Last week. Look on the calendar. Oh, I'm a dead pigeon. How come? I ain't got a chance. What's the matter? Mabel is what's the matter? Mabel? I didn't get enough for Valentine's Day. So I might as well cut my own throat right now because I'm cooked but good. You ain't kidding with the women. Valentine's Day is a bigger holiday even than Christmas. Almost. Almost. But, Mabel, it's like Christmas, the 4th of July and Washington's birthday all put together. Are you sure it's last week? Sure, I'm sure. I know because that's when I fixed this thing up with Dolly and Flatbush. Every year I get her something. A couple pairs of silk stockings, a pair of gloves, something like that. Listen, why don't you do the same like I done with Dolly? What do you mean? To fix it up with Mabel. I'm telling you, you can buy all the stockings in New York, and it won't do you no good. But if you do like and write her a poem, you're into velvet. Write her a what? A poem. It's easy. And there ain't nothing yet to women like a poem. That's if you write it yourself and send it with a couple of flowers. You mean I should write a poem to Mabel with flowers? Why, sure. What do you think I've done with Dolly? What? I write her a poem. None of this printed stuff they got. I write it myself. The next day, she calls me up and I'm at her house eating dinner. Just like that. I'm telling you, that's all you gotta do. Well, you can laugh, but like they say, a dying man grabs at a straw, don't he? And I'm practically a dying man. With Mabel, I decide I'll write her a poem. What can I lose? The answer is plenty, but I don't know. It's in. The next day, Mike and me are sitting in the back of the coffee pot. This Sanford joint where we all the time hang out and we're composing. There's nothing to it. All it's got to do is rhyme and come out even at the end. All right, all right. How should I start? Well, you Want to make it simple and sweet. So. So, start this way. Find a word that ends with Mabel. What do you mean, ends with Mabel? Well, it's got a rhyme like table or something like that. Oh, I get it. Mabel. Table. Stable. That's the idea. No, no, no, not stable. No. Let me see. Mabel. Sable. Zabel. Sable. Hey, that's it. Sable. That's a kind of a fur coat, ain't it? Yeah. So? So, Mrs. Mabel. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I think I got it right there. I cannot buy you no, Julian.

[Ann Thomas]

Sables.

[Ted Decor]

But still. Will you be my valentine? Mabel? How do you like that? That sounds all right. Let me hear that again. Well, this ain't exactly what it goes like. Then I cannot buy you no jewels and staples. But will you be my valentine anyways? Mabel. Like that. Hey, that sounds real good. And it's the truth, too. Hey, you better write it down now before you forget. I can remember it all right. But wait a minute. I don't see how this squares things with Mabel. Well, it ain't finished yet. I tell you what. Yeah. Next you can use what I sent to Dolly like this. I'm sending you this little rhyme to ask when you feel my valentine. Say, I never know you're a poet, Mike. You want to use that, too? Sure. The more the better. Maybe I better write it down here. Yeah. How's it start again? 15 hours start. I cannot buy you no jewelry and save. Wait, wait, wait. Wait a minute. Let me see. I cannot write.

[Ann Thomas]

What's a good one?

[Ted Decor]

What? Schwimman. What are you doing here?

[Ann Thomas]

Oh, Mike, what are you sniff.

[Ted Decor]

Hello, Sherman. Sherman, I say, what are you doing here?

[Ann Thomas]

I'm just passing by. I thought I'd drop in and see what you're doing. Yeah, what's your right, Mad Joel? A letter to somebody?

[Ted Decor]

It's none of your business. Sherman.

[Ann Thomas]

The mystery of the poison pen. The D. Man gets his man.

[Ted Decor]

Bang, bang.

[Ann Thomas]

Okay, I got you.

[Ted Decor]

Bang.

[Ann Thomas]

Bang.

[Ted Decor]

Bang. Bang. Shaman Shaiman. Listen, did Mabel send you down here to tell me something?

[Ann Thomas]

Romeo, my sister ain't got nothing to do with this. I. I come down on sort of business.

[Ted Decor]

Yeah? What kind of business?

[Ann Thomas]

Well, Joe, I. I need two bits, old pal. You got it?

[Ted Decor]

Yeah, I got it. And I'm keeping it. Is that all you come in here for?

[Ann Thomas]

You won't let me allow you two bits?

[Ted Decor]

I said no. So if that's all you want, can beat it. Yeah.

[Ann Thomas]

G. Wise guys, huh? All right for you, Joe, you're going to feel sorry. Let me see what you're writing.

[Ted Decor]

Listen. Leave me alone, you little bugler. Before what?

[Ann Thomas]

Look out now, Joe.

[Ted Decor]

Be that shaman, you hear me?

[Ann Thomas]

Yeah, Joe Spartan, the p. Why, like.

[Ted Decor]

Get my hands on you.

[Ann Thomas]

Bang, bang, bang. You never struck me.

[Ted Decor]

That kid, that sh. Someday I'm going to. Now, where was we? Let's finish this thing. All right. It's practically finished. Only don't forget, you write it down in separate lines, like on a song sheet. Now, don't ask me why. Well, we get this poem finished and I mail it right away to Mabel with no signature. Like you always do with Valentine. Here's how it sounds. When it's done, I'll read it to you. I cannot buy you no jewels or sables but all the same I think you're swell, Mabel so I am sending you this little rhyme to ask. Will you be my Valentine? Will you be mine, My Valentine the last line I write myself. Well, it looks pretty good to me. The next night I'm up at Maples. I figure, here's where I'll find out what's the score. Oh, hello, Mabel. I just. I thought I'd come over and see how you're doing.

[Ann Thomas]

Hello, Joey. I'm glad to see you. Come on in.

[Ted Decor]

Thanks. Well, how you been, baby? I ain't seen you for a week already. I've been pretty busy.

[Ann Thomas]

Yeah, me too. I've been busy.

[Ted Decor]

Yeah. Suppose you've been reading a lot.

[Ann Thomas]

No, I ain't been reading much. Just thinking about things.

[Ted Decor]

What sort of things, baby? Nice things, huh?

[Ann Thomas]

Just things, is all. I got a lot of things on my mind lately.

[Ted Decor]

Sure. I guess things like that don't happen every day, do they?

[Ann Thomas]

What do you mean?

[Ted Decor]

Well, I mean things, you know, to get on your mind. Like you say.

[Ann Thomas]

Wait a minute. You insinuating something about my mind? You being subtle or something?

[Ted Decor]

No, no, no, no. What did I say? Nothing.

[Ann Thomas]

Okay. I guess I just didn't understand you right.

[Ted Decor]

What's the matter tonight, baby? Well, kind of far away, if you know what I mean.

[Ann Thomas]

What'd you say, Joe? I wasn't listening.

[Ted Decor]

Well, like you can see, I'm getting nowhere. She ain't saying nothing about the poem. She ain't saying nothing about Valentine. She ain't saying nothing about nothing. She just looks kind of funny, like she's in a half asleep all the time. Well. So I take her down to the movies where I get the first idea what's going on. Well, like I'm telling you, we're sitting in a movie, see? It's kind of a mushy. Picture which I don't go for, but which Mabel thinks is woman. It's no use, I tell you. What good is a man without the woman he loves?

[Ann Thomas]

Ronald.

[Ted Decor]

What. What's that? No, it must be a dream.

[Ann Thomas]

He. He's a wonderful actor. Raymond.

[Ted Decor]

Yes? No. You are real, aren't you? Tell me you're real.

[Ann Thomas]

Yes, my dear, I'm real.

[Ted Decor]

But they told me you were drowned when the city of Peoria was torpedoed.

[Ann Thomas]

I'm here, my darling. What further proof do you need?

[Ted Decor]

Oh, Cynthia, if you only knew how I'd need you.

[Ann Thomas]

Oh, my God.

[Ted Decor]

I can't wait another nothing. Now that you're back, will you. Will you be mine?

[Ann Thomas]

Do you mean it, Ronald? After. After all, I think.

[Ted Decor]

Oh, yes, yes. Say you'll be mine. Look, this is where we come in. Let's go, baby.

[Ann Thomas]

Wait a minute, Joey. I want to see again how he says, will you be mine?

[Ted Decor]

Make me a scene at once already. Let's go.

[Ann Thomas]

Oh, just a minute, can't you? Gee, this is a beaut.

[Ted Decor]

All right, you'll tell me after we get out.

[Ann Thomas]

This don't mean nothing to you, does it to me? It's just like. Just like it was poetry or something.

[Ted Decor]

Look, look, we. We better get out of it. Hey, what do you mean, like poetry?

[Ann Thomas]

Oh, you wouldn't understand, Joey. It's like. Well, like. Like something you read someplace.

[Ted Decor]

Look, baby, we're talking too much for the people. Let's go out, see?

[Ann Thomas]

Why should we have to go out? We tried to come in just like everybody else, didn't we?

[Ted Decor]

Sure, but it makes too much noise when we're talking.

[Ann Thomas]

Listen, who do we think this shoe should ask?

[Ted Decor]

All right, all right, Bab.

[Ann Thomas]

Jeez, I got some nerve. He can't even express an opinion no more without somebody trying to make trouble.

[Ted Decor]

Mabel, please, come on. Oh, all right.

[Ann Thomas]

Come on. I said come on a long time ago already.

[Ted Decor]

Mabel, what was you saying in there? Something about poems and all. I didn't say nothing. I. Something about poems and all.

[Ann Thomas]

I didn't say nothing. I didn't hardly say a word when Oro's wifi started in.

[Ted Decor]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, but you were saying something about poems. You've been reading poetry lately, is that it?

[Ann Thomas]

Well, yeah. See, Joey, I gotta tell you this. What happened to me about poetry. Oh, wait a minute.

[Ted Decor]

What?

[Ann Thomas]

I just want to look in a window here.

[Ted Decor]

You buying a chair or something?

[Ann Thomas]

No, I'm just looking at furniture suits, in case.

[Ted Decor]

In case what?

[Ann Thomas]

Well, it's what I'm telling you. About poetry?

[Ted Decor]

Oh, is somebody writing your poet?

[Ann Thomas]

How'd you know?

[Ted Decor]

Well, after all, I. Well, you're talking about them, so I figure that's it. Is that right?

[Ann Thomas]

Yeah.

[Ted Decor]

Who writes the poems for you, baby?

[Ann Thomas]

That's just the thing. I don't know, but I can tell you it's somebody who's crazy about me.

[Ted Decor]

Yeah.

[Ann Thomas]

At first I was thinking maybe it was you sent it to me. There ain't no signature on it, see? Well, but then I'm second. I says to myself, joey, writing poems. That's a laugh.

[Ted Decor]

Well, what's so funny about that?

[Ann Thomas]

Oh, you ain't seen this poem, or you'll know what I mean. This is something, well, romantic and all that. And that ain't you.

[Ted Decor]

No?

[Ann Thomas]

No. And then it only come to me in the movies back there like a flash.

[Ted Decor]

What?

[Ann Thomas]

This ain't only a poem. It's also a regular proposal.

[Ted Decor]

What is it?

[Ann Thomas]

A proposal? Somebody wants to marry me. A proposal?

[Ted Decor]

Who proposed to you?

[Ann Thomas]

I don't know. Whoever sends me this poem. You see, I didn't get it at. But it's just like in the movies. Just now. Will you be mine?

[Ted Decor]

Listen, Mabel, talk English so I'll know what it's all about.

[Ann Thomas]

Will you be mine? That's what the man said in the picture. And what does it mean?

[Ted Decor]

What?

[Ann Thomas]

It's just like you say, let's get married, only more refined.

[Ted Decor]

What's got. What's this got to do with the poem?

[Ann Thomas]

Don't you get it? That's just what it says in the poem. Will you be Marin, my valentine? So it's a proposal.

[Ted Decor]

You mean in the poem?

[Ann Thomas]

How many times do I have to tell you? Gee, I can see you don't know nothing about poems. I say, I can see you don't know nothing about phones.

[Ted Decor]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ann Thomas]

To you, something beautiful is a pair of silk stockings. It ain't your fault. You just got no sense of what's beautiful.

[Ted Decor]

Now, wait a minute.

[Ann Thomas]

Well, would you ever think of proposing to a girl like that?

[Ted Decor]

Propose? I never propose to nobody, see? Yeah. Yeah, maybe you're right, Paul. Three stuff, I guess. It ain't my line. What can I do? Of course, I don't like this business. Mabel says I'm such a cluck who can't even write poems. But also, I can't say nothing because I don't like the idea. She thinks it's a proposal, which I never figure she'll think it'll mean, which I don't. I can't understand it. You're just right. Will you be mine, my valentine? And it's a proposal. Yeah, yeah. It's only after she sees this in the movies where the guy says the same thing and they're married. You got nothing to worry about. She don't even know you wrote the poem. That's the thing. It's all right. She don't think I proposed. But how do I stand? Was all waiting around for her dream sweetheart to claim his bride. What's that? That ain't my idea. That's what she tells me before I left her off last night at her house. Dream sweetheart? Can you beat that? Well, maybe you'd better tell it was you wrote the poem. What? And never dragged me off to a wedding. Oh, no. I ain't ready for getting married. There's a lot to it. Gotta figure some other way, Joe. I know. If it's Mabel's kid brother again, what is this every day?

[Ann Thomas]

Hello, Joe. What do you know?

[Ted Decor]

You're a scream shaman. What do you wanna know?

[Ann Thomas]

Pay me a visit, Joe, old boy.

[Ted Decor]

Listen, this ain't the kindergarten you gotta be coming around every day. I told you, I ain't got no two bits for you. See, this is different today, Joe. What? Now?

[Ann Thomas]

I got a business property.

[Ted Decor]

I got no time for PS86 business propositions. I gotta get out and hustle a living.

[Ann Thomas]

God, that's a laugh. All you do is sit around all day anyway.

[Ted Decor]

Now look, you better get out of here before I forget who you are meaning Mabel's kid brother and give you.

[Ann Thomas]

And look out now, Joe, don't get cops.

[Ted Decor]

Are you getting out of here?

[Ann Thomas]

All right, if that's the way you want to be. So I'll tell Mabel. Go on.

[Ted Decor]

Hey, wait a minute. Tell Mabel what? Wait a minute. Come here.

[Ann Thomas]

Oh, Son of Bob has been writing stuff to us.

[Ted Decor]

Like poetry, like what do you know about that?

[Ann Thomas]

Oh, now you're interested, huh? So it's going to cost you two bits or else.

[Ted Decor]

Or else what?

[Ann Thomas]

Or else I tell Mabel it was you who writ them poems. What do you say, Joe?

[Ted Decor]

Shame it. That's blackmail.

[Ann Thomas]

Do I get the two bits or do I tell Mabel that. It ain't blackmail, Joel. Cause I'm only borrowing it.

[Ted Decor]

Borrowed?

[Ann Thomas]

Yeah, for a hundred years. Then you'll get it back.

[Ted Decor]

You must be kidding. Chinamen. I never write no poem. No?

[Ann Thomas]

Then you got nothing to worry about, Joe. The poet. His big Joe.

[Ted Decor]

Hey, hey. I ain't saying I won't rent you the free bit. Sure, you can have it.

[Ann Thomas]

Thank Joe.

[Ted Decor]

You paying him off, Joe? Sure. What else? He tells Mabel I'm a married man because Mabel don't give no for an answer. You bet.

[Ann Thomas]

Well, thanks for the dough, sucker. I'll be seeing you.

[Ted Decor]

Yeah. And remember what you said now.

[Ann Thomas]

Sure you can trust me, Romeo, Will you be mine, my valentine? Tell me you love me, darling.

[Ted Decor]

What now? Wait till I get ahold of you. Come on, Romeo. That is Mabel's kid brother, Shrimp. I can see I gotta do something, but quick. So I figure the only thing to do is to go up to Mabel's house and she. If I can't get it, to forget about the whole business. Business? Well, we're sitting in the parlor, but it's the same Mabel like last night. Mabel.

[Ann Thomas]

What?

[Ted Decor]

Wanna do something tonight?

[Ann Thomas]

Like what?

[Ted Decor]

Oh, like another movie or something.

[Ann Thomas]

No.

[Ted Decor]

You want to go to movies?

[Ann Thomas]

No.

[Ted Decor]

So, what do you want to do?

[Ann Thomas]

Nothing.

[Ted Decor]

What's nothing? You gotta be doing something.

[Ann Thomas]

I'm thinking.

[Ted Decor]

Oh, about the guy who was writing your poems.

[Ann Thomas]

You gotta know. Yes.

[Ted Decor]

Where's that gonna get you?

[Ann Thomas]

What are you worried about?

[Ted Decor]

Ah, look, Mabel, he ain't really going for a guy you never seen, are you?

[Ann Thomas]

Oh, what if I am?

[Ted Decor]

Well, what about me? Don't I count for nothing?

[Ann Thomas]

Oh, sure, Joey. We'll always be good friends.

[Ted Decor]

Good friends? You mean you're throwing me down for some guy? You don't even know who he is. How do you know there even is such a guy like this who writes poems?

[Ann Thomas]

I suppose it's a ghost.

[Ted Decor]

I mean, did you ever meet him?

[Ann Thomas]

Maybe I did, maybe I didn't.

[Ted Decor]

Why don't you forget the whole thing, baby? Look, I bet you it's just a gag to start with.

[Ann Thomas]

You mean because somebody writes me something beautiful that you could never think of in a million years? It has to be a hair?

[Ted Decor]

No, not that exactly. But I bet you there's something fishy about the whole.

[Ann Thomas]

When I want your opinion, I'll ask you. If you don't understand about something, then don't talk about it.

[Ted Decor]

Louie, how can you be so sure it wasn't me who wrote that poem? You say yourself it don't have no name on it.

[Ann Thomas]

How do I know you can even write altogether?

[Ted Decor]

Now, wait a minute.

[Ann Thomas]

You can't tell it from the way you act.

[Ted Decor]

What do you mean?

[Ann Thomas]

Any guy with two cents and who knows how to write can send somebody a valentine on Valentine's Day.

[Ted Decor]

Oh, you mean about that? Well, I just forgot. Baby, you can't blame a guy if for once he forgets. Exactly what day is Valentine's Day?

[Ann Thomas]

No, it ain't exactly the day. So it's a week after. It ain't what Jesus counts, it's what you say.

[Ted Decor]

Well, what if I was to tell.

[Ann Thomas]

You, take this poem I got. It didn't come on Valentine's Day right on the nose. It was a couple days after, but that don't make no difference.

[Ted Decor]

No? No. Just so long as it comes from somebody except me. Is that it?

[Ann Thomas]

You don't have to get smart about it just because I got a proposal.

[Ted Decor]

Who's getting smart? I'm just saying it's a fine thing that after you're going with a girl for a couple of years already, all it takes is a mushy ballman bang you up.

[Ann Thomas]

What's mushy? You never even met him.

[Ted Decor]

I don't have to. It's the principal accounts. So now I know where I stand.

[Ann Thomas]

How does that make me nothing?

[Ted Decor]

But don't think I'm gonna be around chasing after you. Not with you not even giving me a tumble.

[Ann Thomas]

Any guy who don't think enough of a girl to send her a valentine on Valentine's Day don't get a tumble.

[Ted Decor]

All right. All right, if that's the way you want it. All right. Good night.

[Ann Thomas]

Hey, Joe.

[Ted Decor]

What?

[Ann Thomas]

Hello, Joe. I've been waiting for you.

[Ted Decor]

What are you doing outside the door here, Shannon?

[Ann Thomas]

Waiting for you. Like I say, Joe, I think maybe I need some more finance.

[Ted Decor]

Now, wait a minute.

[Ann Thomas]

I'd like to suddenly jump into a half a pup on a line. Romeo.

[Ted Decor]

For what? I'm thinking they could give me the electric chairs. But I get up a half a buck and that's it. I can see if I don't do something quick, not only I won't have no girlfriend, I'll be in a poor house too. Well, the next day I'm hanging around the coffee pot like all things kept me down. Joe. Hey, Joe. Oh, Mike. How'd you make out with Mabel? No soap? No. Such things are even worse than before. Well, don't worry because I got the answer right here. Will I sit down? You got the answer? Yes. You mean in the paper? There? Right here in the Gazette. Let me see. Here it is. Listen to this, Joe. I'm listening. It says here, dear heart, that's you box. What are you reading there? Love advice by Ms. Sally Dare. Listen, dear Heartbroken. My advice to you is to write another poem to your sweetheart in which the so called dream lover withdraws his proposal. I'm certain she will then come back to you. What do you think of that? I don't get it? And I don't like it. How come this Miss Sally Dare finds out about the poem and all? I sent him a letter. Right. Here's the answer. I think you need an expert.

[Ann Thomas]

So here it is.

[Ted Decor]

First off, I ain't gonna do it, whatever she says. Because if one poem gets me in all this trouble, I don't need two forms. And second off, how come you're doing all this? Well, I feel kind of responsible, Joe. After all, it's my idea in the first place. Think I don't know that? You a specialist on handling the women. Ah, don't be like that, Joe. I didn't know it's going to turn out like this. And anyway, I got another idea to get you out right now. I know all the ideas from you that I want to know. Tell me.

[Ann Thomas]

I can get Dolly to fix this.

[Ted Decor]

Whole lot for you. Dolly from Flatbush? Yeah. What's Dolly got to do with it? Well, here's the idea. Dolly got a poem just like Mabel got. Ain't that right? That's what you tell me. All right. Dolly ain't married, is she? Not to you, she ain't. So that's it. I get Dolly to tell Mabel the whole story. Oh, no, you don't. You've done enough without telling Mabel. Not the real story. Dolly tells Mabel how she got a poem with a proposer like Mabel. And some screwball who's sending them out by the dozens. Yeah. She tells Mabel she'd better forget about it because it's just some nutta wig. Responsible, see? Yeah. Yeah, I see. So, what do you think? It can't miss Joe. You think Dolly will do it if I ask her? She'll do it. Okay, then ask her. Ask her, Mike. Anyways, I don't think how things can get any worse. Well, we fixed the whole thing up. I'm going to get Dolly and Mabel down to the restaurant and buy him dinner. And then Dolly's going to get Mabel this story that Mike makes up and tell it to her, and that's that. Mike can't come because he's on a night shift. So I'm sitting in the restaurant with Dolly, who is a very fancy dish from Flatbush, waiting for Mabel to show up.

[Ann Thomas]

So when's your sweetie coming in? I got a heavy date tonight, honey. And I can't be hanging around here, if you know what I mean.

[Ted Decor]

Yeah, well, don't worry, Dolly. You know what you're supposed to do now, don't you?

[Ann Thomas]

You leave it all up to me, sugar. Dolly will fix Everything.

[Ted Decor]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I only hope it goes like we figured.

[Ann Thomas]

You know. It's very becoming to you when you're worried, sugar. What do you mean I'm gonna miss her? Makes you look kinda. Oh, I don't know, kind of cute, if you know what I mean.

[Ted Decor]

What?

[Ann Thomas]

I mean, the way you look, it's. Well, it's like when Gary Cooper is. When he's worried in the pictures, I mean.

[Ted Decor]

Yeah. It's the first time anyone tells me that. Gary Cooper, you say.

[Ann Thomas]

Well, Gary Cooper or Tyrone Tower or somebody rugged like that. I mean, it's.

[Ted Decor]

Oh, yeah. Wait a minute, wait a minute. I think I see you.

[Ann Thomas]

Who, sugar?

[Ted Decor]

Mabel? Yeah, that's her. No, no, no, no. Don't forget Mabel. Hey, Mabel. Over here.

[Ann Thomas]

Oh, hello, Joey. I'm a little late, ain't I? I got the laden in the beauty shop when I could. I didn't know you was having company.

[Ted Decor]

Yeah, I. I asked the roll that special because you're coming.

[Ann Thomas]

I don't get it.

[Ted Decor]

Yeah, well, Dolly, I want you should meet Ms. Mabel Stooler. Mabel, this is Ms. Dolly Dunkle.

[Ann Thomas]

It's Dunkle, sugar. I'm glad to meet you, honey.

[Ted Decor]

Hello. Sit down, Mabel, sit down. Eat all you want cause it's all on me.

[Ann Thomas]

Say, you're a real florid, ain't you, sugar?

[Ted Decor]

Nobody ain't never called me no piker, no latent.

[Ann Thomas]

Look, Ms. Dunkle. That's Dunkle, dearie. Well, whatever your name is. You know Joey for a long time. I could get to know him better, if you know what I mean. I know what you mean, dearie. So I just thought I'll tell you about me and Joey being old friends. What makes you think I'll be interested in that? Honey, listen, I know your type. What do you mean you know my type? What do you think my type's anyway?

[Ted Decor]

Now wait a minute.

[Ann Thomas]

You don't have to get out of this, Joey. Listen, Siri, I don't mind that you're grubbing a free meal off of my boyfriend. What do you mean grubbing? Say, are you trying to insult me?

[Ted Decor]

No, Dolly, she's all the time kidding. Mabel isn't.

[Ann Thomas]

When I'm kidding, I laugh. Listen, I don't have to sit around here and be enthusiast. Honey, you don't see me keeping you to me.

[Ted Decor]

No, Mabel.

[Ann Thomas]

That's what comes of trying to do somebody a favor who ain't big enough to appreciate nothing. You're doing me a favor. Not anymore I ain't. I'm leaving right now.

[Ted Decor]

Dolly, Look, Mabel don't mean nothing. You gotta explain.

[Ann Thomas]

I'm sorry, Joey, but I said for all I'm gonna stand for goodbye. And if I never see you again, honey, it's too soon.

[Ted Decor]

Now, why'd you have to go and hurt Dolly's feelings like that?

[Ann Thomas]

Well, she didn't have to go and make a play for you, did she?

[Ted Decor]

She wasn't making no play. Maybe she was just.

[Ann Thomas]

Well, whatever she was doing. Guess I got a right to be a little jealous a night.

[Ted Decor]

Jealous? You mean you was just being jealous, is that it?

[Ann Thomas]

I'm sure Joey. Ain't my fault if I like you, is it?

[Ted Decor]

No. Sure it ain't. But Mabel, you hear, Joey, what about this poetry and all that? What about that guy who you say is gonna marry you?

[Ann Thomas]

Oh, that. I was only teasing you, Joey. I didn't figure you'll right away get a girl like that. You never thought I was really serious about that poetry, did you?

[Ted Decor]

Well, no, I guess not. But anyway, everything's all fixed up now, Aunt.

[Ann Thomas]

What do you mean, Joey?

[Ted Decor]

I mean you and me, of course. We're back together again. Oh, sure, Joey, she does well, baby.

[Ann Thomas]

Yeah.

[Ted Decor]

I brought along a little something for you. Sort of Valentine's Day, even if it is all right.

[Ann Thomas]

Yeah. Let me see here. Your package.

[Ted Decor]

Open it up, baby.

[Ann Thomas]

Okay. Gee, I can hardly wait to see.

[Ted Decor]

Oh.

[Ann Thomas]

Oh, Joey, you shouldn't have done it.

[Ted Decor]

You like him, Mabel?

[Ann Thomas]

Like it?

[Ted Decor]

See?

[Ann Thomas]

It's beautiful. Silk stockings. See, Joey, that's the nicest present you can get a girl.

[Ted Decor]

So you see, like I'm telling you, some girls homes maybe are all right. Or with Mabel. And I bet you with 99% of all the women stockings is safe for all around. So that's what happens on Valentine's Day. And it all turns out all right. Except for one thing. A Satan's 12 years old burglar. Shame. I'll be paying off for the rest of my life. You see what I mean? You have just heard another episode in the new radio serial Joe and Mabel, written by Irving Gaynor Nyman. In today's performance, Joe was played by Ted Decor, Mabel by Ann Thomas and Mike by Walter Kinsella. The supporting cast included Jackie Grimes, Gene Ellen, Joseph Curtin and Helen Clare.