Johnny Dollar 1949-12-24 - How I Played Santa Claus

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Johnny Dollar 1949-12-24 – How I Played Santa Claus

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode Date: December 25, 2025
Original Air Date: December 24, 1949
Host: Harold’s Old Time Radio (originally CBS)
Starring: Charles Russell as Johnny Dollar

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Episode Overview

This episode features a classic case from “Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar”—a radio drama following America’s “fabulous freelance insurance investigator.” The story is set just before Christmas and begins as a seemingly simple investigation into small-time department store swindles in Manhattan. What starts as a seasonal con job quickly escalates into murder, kidnapping, and a suspenseful manhunt through a crowded department store, with Johnny Dollar playing both detective and, unexpectedly, Santa Claus.

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Key Discussion Points and Plot Progression

1. Receiving the Case (01:14)

• Johnny Dollar is hired to investigate a string of department store swindles in New York:
  • A young man impersonates a salesman, makes fake sales, takes cash, and vanishes.
  • The Association of Department Stores has requested immediate help.

Notable Quote:

“How I played Santa Claus and almost got left holding the sack. Or going for a sleigh ride without benefit of snow can be tough sledding.” – Johnny Dollar [01:18]

2. Arriving in Manhattan (02:39 - 03:40)

• Johnny travels to New York, meets attractive associate Judy Whitehall, and learns the scope of the problem:
  • 120 stores on alert
  • Multiple, conflicting suspect descriptions
  • All store detectives and sales personnel are on watch

Notable Moment:
Johnny’s playful banter with Judy:

“What’s beautiful?”
“Your face.” – Johnny Dollar & Judy Whitehall [04:16-04:17]

3. Escalation to Violence (05:00 - 05:22)

• The suspect is spotted in Miller’s store’s camera department.
• Chaos erupts when a little girl, Bobby, takes an unauthorized photo of the swindler:
  • The suspect grabs the camera, shoots a store detective who intervenes, and kidnaps the girl before escaping.

Notable Quote:

“The man shot him. Then he grabbed the little girl, camera and all, and ran off. They called the police.” – Judy Whitehall [05:14]

4. Interviewing the Victims (07:15 - 08:19)

• The traumatized child, Bobby, won’t describe her attacker out of fear.

• Judy and Johnny team up to coax Bobby using the leverage of Santa Claus in the toy department.

• When asked what happens to girls who upset Santa, Bobby replies:

  “They don’t get to look at television before they go to bed.” – Bobby [08:39]
  “They don’t get any toys. All they get is old sweaters and underwear.” – Bobby [08:45]

• Bobby reveals she bit the attacker’s hand, leaving a mark (an important clue).

5. Santa Claus Interview and Key Description (11:43 - 13:09)

• Johnny sets up Bobby with the store's Santa to get her to talk.
• She finally describes the suspect: “Medium build, pudgy, with black hair.”
• An artist’s sketch is created and distributed to police stationed at store exits, who are told to check for bite marks.

6. A Devastating Twist: Santa Suit Stolen (14:44 - 15:21)

• The real store Santa was assaulted, and his outfit stolen.
• They realize:

  “45 minutes ago, when little Bobby was giving Santa Claus the murderer’s description, she was giving it to the murderer himself.” – Johnny Dollar [15:14]

7. Search for the Killer – Store Lockdown (16:40 - 19:07)

• The murderer is now at large, likely still in the store.
• An elderly woman is shot but not critically wounded during his escape.
• The suspect steals guns and ammo from the sporting goods department.

Notable Quote:

“If you’re not careful, it’s going to turn your store into the world’s largest shooting gallery with live targets.” – Johnny Dollar [19:33]

• Johnny urges the store to close for safety.

8. Climactic Showdown in the Store (23:13 - 25:39)

• The store is searched methodically.

• Johnny and Sandler, the store manager, become targets as the killer opens fire.

• Johnny maneuvers to find the shooter’s position and forces him into the open:

  “He was bleeding beautifully. When I started to run straight for the back of the store, firing as he ran.” – Johnny Dollar [25:13]

• The shootout ends in the shipping department, where Johnny and the killer struggle ferociously before Johnny knocks him into a packing case and seals him in.

9. Aftermath: A Twist Ending (28:14 - 30:15)

• Johnny wakes up in the hospital, concussed, believing he caught the killer.
• But the next day, he learns the packing case (with the murderer inside) was shipped out as charity—directly to the New York State prison in Ossining (Sing Sing).

Memorable Exchange:

“That box was...the boss’s big annual charity shipment...on its way to some of the unfortunates who’ll be spending this Christmas away from home.” – Shipping Department Head [30:01-30:13] “By now it should be at the New York state prison up in Arining.” – Shipping Department Head [30:15]

• Johnny (bemusedly) closes the case with his usual playful expense account remarks.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• On assignment:

  “The following is an accounting of my expenditures during investigation of small time swindles of big time department stores.” – Johnny Dollar [01:15]

• Comic relief and Johnny’s sardonic humor:

  “In one department store, I’m the kind of a guy who can’t find a glove department. And now I’ve got 120 stores in which to find someone I don’t even know.” – Johnny Dollar [03:53]

• On policing and the manhunt:

  “It’s like looking for a noodle in a spaghetti store.” – Johnny Dollar [04:09]

• On the dangers of the toy department at Christmas:

  “It was like stepping into Dante’s Inferno, junior grade first.” – Johnny Dollar [10:39]

• The realization of the suit swap:

  “45 minutes ago, when little Bobby was giving Santa Claus the murderer’s description, he was giving it to the murderer himself.” – Johnny Dollar [15:14]

• Dark punchlines:

  “People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw guns.” – Johnny Dollar [25:42]

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Major Segments and Timestamps

• Assignment details & introduction: [01:14 – 02:39]
• Meeting Judy & initial investigation: [03:35 – 04:39]
• Incident in camera department: [05:00 – 05:22]
• Interviewing Bobby and leveraging Santa: [07:15 – 08:19; 11:43 – 13:09]
• Discovery of stolen Santa suit: [14:44 – 15:21]
• Store lockdown and escalating danger: [16:40 – 19:07]
• Shootout and final confrontation: [23:13 – 25:39]
• Resolution and hospital scene: [28:14 – 30:15]
• The twist: boxed-up criminal is shipped to prison: [29:09 – 30:13]

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Recurring Themes and Tone

• Wit in Danger: Johnny Dollar’s sardonic humor—even in tight situations—lends a light touch and keeps the episode kinetic.
• Holiday Irony: The episode juxtaposes Christmas themes (Santa Claus, family, giving) with high stakes crime and violence—classic “Johnny Dollar” irony.
• Classic Detective Methods: Legwork, psychological leverage (using Santa), and a climactic chase showcase the ingenious, hands-on style of mid-century radio detectives.
• Twist Endings: The investigation is seemingly thwarted by bad luck but ultimately resolves with a tongue-in-cheek “Christmas miracle.”

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For New Listeners

This episode stands out as both a tense crime caper and a sly holiday romp, capturing the charm and suspense that made “Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar” a radio staple.
Even without listening, you’ll enjoy Johnny’s quick wit, the mounting department store drama, and the story’s clever, unexpected conclusion.

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End of summary.

Transcript

[Narrator/Announcer]

Limu Emu and Doug.

[Johnny Dollar]

Here we have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug. Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Cut the camera.

[Johnny Dollar]

They see us.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty, Liberty, Liberty.

[Johnny Dollar]

Liberty Savings vary underwritten by Liberty Mutual.

[Commercial Announcer]

Insurance Company and affiliates excludes Massachusetts.

[Johnny Dollar]

It was the week before Christmas and all through the house a creature was stirring. And boy, what a rat.

[Narrator/Announcer]

This is another in the adventures of America's fabulous freelance insurance investigator Johnny Dollar. Starring Charles Russell At Insurance Investigation. Johnny Dollar is only an expert at making out his expense account. He's an absolute genius.

[Johnny Dollar]

Expense account submitted by special investigator Johnny Dollar to Home Office Industrial Insurers Incorporated, Hartford, CT. Attention Mr. Eben Stevens, General Manager. The following is an accounting of my expenditures during investigation of small time swindles of big time department stores. Or how I played Santa Claus and almost got left holding the sack. Or going for a sleigh ride without benefit of snow can be tough sledding. Expense account item 1, $1 messenger who delivered this assignment writing by hand to my apartment.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Thanks, Mr. Dollar.

[Johnny Dollar]

You have never been known as a fast man with a buck, Mr. Stevens. And I must say your note to me also marked you in my mind as an economist with words.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Dear Dollar, our client, the association of Department Stores of Greater Manhattan has requested help on the following problem. A young man has been making the rounds of New York department stores during the current Christmas rush. Using his equipment and official looking sales book. He goes to a business department, makes a quick sale on some large item, writes it up in his furious sales book, takes the customer's cash and disappears. Enclosed fine varying descriptions as furnished by victims to date and check for your usual retainer fee. Please put a stop to this nefarious practice at once. Signed Eben Stevens, General Manager.

[Johnny Dollar]

Expense account item two, $6.21 train fare, Hartford to New York. Next morning at 7:03 on the Bankers special. A train very cleverly named that because 75% of its load is made up of bankers. I sat among them in a parlor car watching them limbering up for the day's chores, slowly shaking their heads from side to side and softly whispering no. We arrived at Grand Central at 9:20. The bankers got off and headed for their granite vaults. I got off and headed to face my stone wall. Expense account item 3, 4 bits cab fare to offices of the association of Department Stores of Greater Manhattan. There, things got brighter right away. Her name was Judy Whitehall. Boy, how she'd been missed by the scouts for the Copacabana, I'll never know.

[Judy Whitehall]

I have been assigned to help you all I can, Mr. Dallas. What would you like to know first?

[Johnny Dollar]

Your home phone number. Oh, well, maybe we better wait until later for that. How many stores are there in your association, Ms. Whitehall?

[Judy Whitehall]

We have 120 member stores, Mr. Dollar.

[Johnny Dollar]

Great. You know, in one department store, I'm the kind of a guy that can't find a glove department. And Now I've got 120 stores in which to find someone I don't even know.

[Judy Whitehall]

Well, we do have the man's description.

[Johnny Dollar]

Yeah, as a matter of fact, we have a lot of descriptions, all slightly different.

[Judy Whitehall]

And the regular store detectives are all on the lookout.

[Johnny Dollar]

It's like looking for a noodle in a spaghetti store.

[Judy Whitehall]

And all the sales personnel have been warned.

[Johnny Dollar]

It's beautiful.

[Judy Whitehall]

What's beautiful?

[Johnny Dollar]

Your face.

[Judy Whitehall]

Well, really, Mr. Dolan, after all.

[Johnny Dollar]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yes, I know. Business. Well, before I start, maybe you'd better give me a letter of identification. If I spend all day moseying around department stores without buying anything, I can stand a good chance of getting picked up as a shoplifter right away.

[Judy Whitehall]

Follow me.

[Johnny Dollar]

All right.

[Judy Whitehall]

Just a minute. Hello? This is Ms. Whitehall. Oh, yes, Mr. Sandler. Oh, my, that's terrible. My goodness, that's awful. Good gracious.

[Mr. Sandler]

That's.

[Judy Whitehall]

That's worse. Well, the insurance investigator is here right now, Mrs. Sanders. We'll be right over.

[Johnny Dollar]

What's so terrible?

[Judy Whitehall]

But that man, the one we're looking for, he was in the Miller's store making a phony sale on the camera department.

[Johnny Dollar]

You also said it was awful.

[Judy Whitehall]

It was. A little girl picked up a camera and snapped his daughter picture. And the man tried to take it away from her and the girl yelled and then her mother screamed.

[Johnny Dollar]

And what made it worse?

[Judy Whitehall]

Well, a store detective came running and the man shot him. Then he grabbed the little girl, camera and all, and it ran off. They called the police.

[Johnny Dollar]

Really? I can't imagine why. A mob scene in the Miller store would have made the Notre Dame backfield hotter. Uncle Christmas neckties were selling like hotcakes. Only compared to most of the ties. A hotcake would look better on you. The camera department was on the mezzanine and the store manager, Mr. Sander, was on a rampage.

[Mr. Sandler]

Why doesn't somebody do something? Why can't they find him? I've got men posted on every door. He's in this store somewhere, and oh, Ms. Whitehall, it's about time.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Who's this?

[Judy Whitehall]

Oh, this is Mr. Dollar, Mr. Sandler from the insurance company.

[Mr. Sandler]

Well, I did what you can do, Dollar. I've already got 20 policemen running all over the store. It's absolutely ridiculous, preposterous and fantastic. That's what it is.

[Johnny Dollar]

Also amazing. Now, tell me, Mr. Santa, about that little girl who picked up the camera and snapped the culprit's picture. Did they find her yet?

[Mr. Sandler]

They certainly did. In the rug department. She'd been shoved in the middle of a pile of 9 by 12 orientals. On sale at 123.50. She was scared, but not hurt.

[Johnny Dollar]

The girl was found without the camera, I suppose.

[Mr. Sandler]

Naturally. But the camera wouldn't do us any any good. After all, I knew the camera didn't have any film in it. They never do when they're on display.

[Judy Whitehall]

How about the stuff, detective?

[Mr. Sandler]

The one who got shot in the hospital. Ms. Hall, they'll call me here as soon as they find out how badly he's been hurt.

[Johnny Dollar]

Well, look, getting back to that kid, was she able to give you a good description of the guy who grabbed her?

[Mr. Sandler]

She hasn't stopped crying long enough.

[Johnny Dollar]

Well, how about our mother?

[Mr. Sandler]

Neither is she.

[Johnny Dollar]

Where are they now?

[Mr. Sandler]

They're in my office. That's why I'm staying right here.

[Johnny Dollar]

Where is your office?

[Mr. Sandler]

I'm the eighth floor, right next to the credit office.

[Johnny Dollar]

Well, this may be the first time I ever got past the credit office. Come on, Judy.

[Judy Whitehall]

Oh, Bobby, come on, blow your nose.

[Mr. Sandler]

There.

[Judy Whitehall]

Now, be a brave little girl. I don't wanna. He hit me. He tried to kill me. He took away my camera.

[Johnny Dollar]

Let me another try, Mrs. Jenkins.

[Judy Whitehall]

All right, Mr. Dollar, if you think it'll do any good.

[Johnny Dollar]

All right. Oh, come on now, Bobby. All you have to do is tell us what that bad man looked like. We'll get him and then we'll fix him. Come on, now.

[Judy Whitehall]

I don't wanna. He'll kill me.

[Johnny Dollar]

I'm beginning to think he's got a point. Okay, Bobby. Okay, okay. Just a minute now. Oh, Judy here.

[Judy Whitehall]

Yes, Johnny?

[Johnny Dollar]

Looks like as a child psychologist, I'm nothing. At this point, I feel like telling little Bobby to go out and play with some old razor blades. Got any suggestions?

[Judy Whitehall]

Well, it is almost Christmas. Yeah, and one thing little girls don't want to do at Christmas is get in wrong with Santa Claus.

[Johnny Dollar]

Ah, gotcha. Good gal. Where do we find Santa Claus?

[Judy Whitehall]

In the toy department on the 15th.

[Johnny Dollar]

Well, give me about four minutes to explain things to Santa and Then bring Bobby down. Oh, Bobby.

[Judy Whitehall]

What?

[Johnny Dollar]

Do you know what happens to little girls who make Santa Claus mad at them?

[Judy Whitehall]

Yes.

[Johnny Dollar]

What happened?

[Judy Whitehall]

They don't get to look at television before they go to bed.

[Johnny Dollar]

I mean, at Christmas, what happens?

[Judy Whitehall]

They don't get any toys. All they get is old sweaters and underwear.

[Johnny Dollar]

Well, listen, Bobby, this guy Santa happens to be a good friend of mine. What do you think of that?

[Judy Whitehall]

Tell him I want an air rifle.

[Johnny Dollar]

You would? Okay, okay. I'll even fix it so you can tell him yourself. How's that?

[Judy Whitehall]

Just fine.

[Johnny Dollar]

Ah, good girl. Hey, where'd you get that blood on your coat? You got a cut?

[Judy Whitehall]

No, sir. That's from that bad man. I bit him on my head.

[Johnny Dollar]

Okay, Judy, here I go. Oh, and on the way down, maybe you better stop by the dog supply department and buy little Bobby a muzzle. If the kid doesn't like his looks, old Saint Nick may get ignored.

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[Johnny Dollar]

First family on January 9th. The sequel to Greenland is so massive you have to see it on the big screen. A promise who gives to safety?

[Narrator/Announcer]

Starring Gerard Butler and Marina Bacarin.

[Johnny Dollar]

Oh my God. Hang on. Greenland 2 migration rated PG13. Department stores should have some kind of a Congressional medal for salespeople who work in the toy department. Just before Christmas, I took the elevator down to five and when that door slid open, It was like stepping into Dante's Inferno. Junior grade first. I got on a house phone and called Santa, who was still in the camera department. He had word from the hospital. The store detective had died without regaining consciousness. I was no longer trying to catch a cheap swindler. I was now out to swap blood with a dirty murderer. A line of fidgety kids led me to Santa Claus sitting benignly on his throne. I had a short talk with him and a short wait for Judy and little Bobby. Okay, Santa, now we've got to make her talk. That is, you got to.

[Narrator/Announcer]

All right, Dollar.

[Mr. Sandler]

All right, now, kitties, you'll have to.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Wait for a moment. We have a special little visitor coming to see me.

[Judy Whitehall]

Hello, Johnny. All set?

[Johnny Dollar]

Yeah, all set. Okay, Bobby McGirl. Now, just let me give you a hoist up into Santa's lap. He wants to ask you a few questions.

[Judy Whitehall]

I want an air rifle.

[Johnny Dollar]

Now, you be a good little girl and answer all Santa's nice questions, and you'll get it, but not where I'd like to give it to you.

[Mr. Sandler]

Up you go.

[Narrator/Announcer]

There we are, honey. Now tell me, what do you want for Christmas?

[Judy Whitehall]

I want an air rifle.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Well, we'll see what we can do about that. Tell me, have you been a good little girl?

[Judy Whitehall]

Yes, sir.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Well, first we'll just have to look.

[Johnny Dollar]

Up your name in my little black.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Book and make sure. Pretty good. All but one little thing.

[Judy Whitehall]

What'd I do? I didn't do nothing.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Well, that's just it. You see, Bobby, I have a note here that today some people asked you what a certain man looked like and you wouldn't tell them. Is that right?

[Judy Whitehall]

I'm afraid I don't want to tell. They can't make me.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Well, Bobby, maybe you and I had better talk this over. If you won't do something for us now, how do you expect it will happen?

[Johnny Dollar]

Little Bobby's description of the murderer wasn't the greatest by any means, but it was better than none at all, with which we had been furnished by the personnel in the camera department and the kid's mother. We took the girl to the advertising department, where an artist made a sketch. Armed with a drawing, we made a tour of the store exits, showing it to the police posted on every door, giving them a rough idea what to look for. A medium build, pudgy man with black hair. And when they came across such a character, he was to be issued an invitation to show his hands. If he was sporting Bobby's teeth marks, then they'd really know. Well, this chore out of the way, Ms. Whitehall and I sink our teeth in a pair of sandwiches in the tea room. The Shoppers Delight sandwich, to be exact. Cream cheese, walnuts, watercress and pineapple on whole wheat bread.

[Mr. Sandler]

Mmm.

[Johnny Dollar]

We found the store manager, Sandler, back in his office. He, too, was Eating? But he was on a diet of straight fingernails.

[Mr. Sandler]

Oh, terrible, terrible, terrible. That's what it is.

[Johnny Dollar]

Now, don't worry, Mr. Sandler. He'll be caught. As a swindler, he might have gone on for years, but as a murderer, it won't be long, believe me.

[Mr. Sandler]

Oh, what to do, what to do, what to do.

[Johnny Dollar]

Well, I've got several ideas. And the first is to get out of your office and start at the top of the store and work my way down.

[Mr. Sandler]

They're already doing that and not a sign of him.

[Johnny Dollar]

Well, I once found a mouse in a hayloft, so be not disencouraged. And a pretty little mouse she was. Oh, dear, oh, dear.

[Judy Whitehall]

Oh, please try to relax, Mr. Sandler. Everybody's doing your best.

[Mr. Sandler]

Yes, I'm sure they are. It's just that I. Oh.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Hello?

[Mr. Sandler]

Yes, this is Mr. Sandler. Oh, no.

[Judy Whitehall]

Where?

[Mr. Sandler]

How long have you been there? I'll be right down. About an hour and a half ago, our sore Santa Claus stepped out into the employee restroom for a smoke. He was slugged from behind. When he came to, he was all tied up in a broom closet and somebody has stolen his Santa Claus suit.

[Johnny Dollar]

They just found him about an hour and a half ago. Judy, you know what that means.

[Judy Whitehall]

Oh, no.

[Johnny Dollar]

Oh, yes. 45 minutes ago, when little Bobby was giving Santa Claus the murderer's description, he was giving it to the murderer himself.

[Mr. Sandler]

Oh, good gracious.

[Johnny Dollar]

Instead of a kid's air rifle, it could have gotten us a revolver size.38.

[Narrator/Announcer]

In just a moment, we will return to the second act of Johnny Dollar. But first, CBS is going to bring you one of the biggest presents you ever received from show business. Tomorrow afternoon, Christmas Day, for a full hour on the entire CBS network, you're going to get all the comedy, all the laughs and one of the greatest Broadway and Hollywood hits of recent years. The man who Came to Dinner. And the man who Came will be played by none other than Jack Benny. Plus Charles Boyer, Gene Kelly, Dorothy McGuire, Gregory Peck and Rosalind Russell. Plus Henry Fonda and John Garfield as narrators. You'll hear them all on CBS's special holiday hour tomorrow afternoon. Jack Benny playing the man who Came to Dinner and Breaking a leg had to stay on and on and on. Now, with our star, Charles Russell, we return to the second act of yours truly, Johnny Dollar.

[Johnny Dollar]

There's no place like a crowded department store for a fresh made murderer to be on the loose. Especially one that's playing Santa Claus. For a lot of rosy cheeked little nippers, I headed Back to the toy department. But when I got there, the cupboard was bare. Our lethal Saint Nick had decided to give up his red flannel and white whisker hiding place. We found the empty suit in a storeroom tossed high on a stack of baby buggies.

[Judy Whitehall]

Oh, Johnny, this is terrible. That man's a murderer. What are you going to do?

[Johnny Dollar]

What am I going to do? Now, listen, Judy. By now there must be 87 cops sifting through this store looking for that guy. They've got two cops on every door. Now all I'm going to do is help them look. This is one of those everybody's problems.

[Judy Whitehall]

You're right. I guess I'm just getting excited.

[Johnny Dollar]

Well, that you have a right to do. Come on, let's get out of here. I've got an idea.

[Judy Whitehall]

All right, Johnny. Oh, Mr. Dallas, thank goodness I found you. Mrs. Sandler wants you right away. Down on three, an old lady has just been shot in junior. Mrs.

[Johnny Dollar]

Lingerie serves a right for not acting her age. Let's go, Judy.

[Mr. Sandler]

Right over here, $. Let him through, please. Let him. Lady, please stand back now. Well, Dollar, congratulations. Before, this store was only going to sue that company of yours for $1 million. Considering what this shooting will do to our reputation, I'm going to make that 5 million.

[Johnny Dollar]

Now, Mr. Sandler, keep your powder dry. First of all, it's not my company. And second, you can't sue him for something they didn't do. And third, you'd better get this poor old gal to a hospital. How badly is she hurt and how did it happen?

[Mr. Sandler]

The doctor's on his way and we've sent for an ambulance. This woman was lost out on a big stairway looking for the ladies room. That maniac saw her coming toward him and ran down the stairs, firing over his shoulder. The bullet just seemed to have grazed her left side.

[Johnny Dollar]

Pretty lucky. Where are the police?

[Mr. Sandler]

They're searching all over the store. Darla, what are we going to do? This is terrible for business.

[Johnny Dollar]

Well, I suspect that any minute now the cops will be telling you to do something that's going to be even worse for business. Close the store.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Where?

[Mr. Sandler]

Close the store. Why? We're staying open late tonight. It's the last minute rush.

[Johnny Dollar]

I'm just telling you what I think. I think the cops will double the lookouts on all the doors and make you close the store. Then they can go to work.

[Mr. Sandler]

We lose thousands of dollars. They can't make me close the store.

[Johnny Dollar]

You stay open, you might lose a few more customers the hard way.

[Mr. Sandler]

Where's that doctor, he'll be here any minute. Yes, what it is?

[Judy Whitehall]

Well, they called up from the sporting goods in the basement. That man had been down there and held them up. And he took four guns and six boxes of ammunition.

[Mr. Sandler]

Six boxes of.

[Judy Whitehall]

Oh my.

[Mr. Sandler]

What's this going to do to our store?

[Johnny Dollar]

If you're not careful, it's going to turn your store into the world's largest shooting gallery with live targets. You know what I suggest, Mr. Sandler?

[Mr. Sandler]

What? What? Tell me what?

[Johnny Dollar]

Don't wait for the police to tell you. Close the store. Sandler didn't like it and neither did the customers. As they filed out of the store past the scrutiny of the police officers still clutching their unfinished Christmas shopping list. The process was slow. And while the customers were leaving, the clerks finished up their business, put the white shrouds over their counters and they too filed out into the early night. The boys in blue watching the doors came up with several men answering the general description of our friend with a loose trigger figure. But none of them had little Bobby's teeth marks on his hands. That made it a 5050 chance that Mr. Killer was still in the building. There's nothing more eerie than a department store at the closing and it's white sheets. The whole joint seemed to be playing ghost. I sent Judy over to a steakhouse, Pietre's on third Avenue. Told her to wait. Then I had Sandler get me a gun from the sporting goods department for that lonely, scared feeling. There's no medicine that quite takes the place of a piece of cool steel in your little hot hand. The sergeant in charge of the police detail posted men outside all exits. The rest he took up to the roof with them. They were going to run the whole store at their burly blue sieve. Floor by floor, counter by counter, inch by inch. Sandler stayed with me down the first floor. Just for fun, I thought I would start working my way up. Dollar.

[Mr. Sandler]

Don't you think we should get out of here?

[Johnny Dollar]

In the distance I have several goosebumps that agree with you, Mr. Sandler. But I have a very dangerous. If you're the purchasing manager at a manufacturing plant, you know having a trusted partner makes all the difference. That's why hands down, you count on Grainger for auto reordering.

[Commercial Announcer]

With on time restocks, your team will.

[Johnny Dollar]

Have the cut resistant gloves they need.

[Commercial Announcer]

At the start of their shift.

[Johnny Dollar]

And you can end your day knowing they've got safety well in hand. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click granger.com or just stop by Granger for the Ones who get it done.

[Commercial Announcer]

If you're paying more than $1 a month for any ED or hair medication, listen up at Joy and Blokes when you start TRT or enclomiphene, you can add any ED or hair loss prescription for just $1 a month. $1 add ons with your hormone plan. And right now, all labs are 50% off. I'm Josh Whalen, founder of Joy and Blokes. I built this company because men are tired of paying for fragmented care without results. Every Joy and Blokes lab includes a visit with a licensed clinician who connects your symptoms to your biomarkers. You'll get a real plan that covers hormones, performance and confidence. If you're considering TRT or Enclomiphene, this is the most efficient way to do it. Get [e-mail] and use the promo code podcast. New customers get 50 off their labs. And for a limited time, you can take advantage of our $1 ED or HA loss add ons when you start TRT or enclomiphene. Not available in all states. Compounded medications are not FDA approved. Learn more at joy and blokes.com There.

[Johnny Dollar]

Is habit of trying to earn my money. This is terrible. Look, every counter and post in this store is just the kind of hiding place a sniper would pray for. I get paid for this kind of work. You don't. Now, why don't you go out for a nice safe walk?

[Mr. Sandler]

It was my duty to stay here. I'm taking with you.

[Johnny Dollar]

Okay, but remember, two of us gave him twice as much to shoot at.

[Judy Whitehall]

No, you didn't.

[Johnny Dollar]

I had to go and open my big mouth.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Get down.

[Johnny Dollar]

Getting down on that floor could have been committing suicide in itself. The killer's bullet had crashed into a showcase. A sea of broken glass is a risky place to practice the diving. Having to swim out of it was twice as bad. But that's what I had to do. Oh, Mr. D. Keep your head down. Bury your face in a glass, but keep your head down.

[Mr. Sandler]

Yes, D. Tell me what to do. Anything but get me out of here. I have a wife and three kids.

[Johnny Dollar]

Well, if you'll do what I tell you to do, your wife will go on having a husband and your kids will still have a father.

[Mr. Sandler]

Yes, yes, Just. Just tell me.

[Johnny Dollar]

I don't know exactly where that shot came from, but from the looks of this glass, it must have been from behind us. Now, I'm going to leave you and crawl over near those elevators while I'm on my way you rattle around in this glass. Let them hear where you are. Give me about two minutes and then do something to draw his fire.

[Mr. Sandler]

What can I do?

[Johnny Dollar]

Do anything but one. Don't stand up. Don't. I'll think of something better, but don't take any chances. No, no, I.

[Mr. Sandler]

But what are you going to do?

[Johnny Dollar]

Take. Once I was on my way, Sandler went to work with a vengeance. I could hear him thrashing around in that glass like he was trying to corner the Band Aid market. I made it over the elevators, scooting flat along the floor till I hit a car with an open door and slithered inside behind the protection of the elevator's front wall. I stood up, peered over at the edge of the door, and waited for Santa to make the move that would draw the murderer's fire. I must say, Santa was dead game. And the way he made a move, he also stood a good chance of coming plain dead. First he stopped wiggling around on his bed of glass, and then he just stood straight up. The shot missed, but my eyesight didn't. The killer was shooting from high up behind a pole. He was standing up on a glass showcase, hoping for a better view. It didn't take me long to decide to give him a better view of the inside of that glass showcase. I started deliberately shooting his foothold out from under him. He was bleeding beautifully. When I started to run straight for the back of the store, firing as.

[Narrator/Announcer]

He ran.

[Johnny Dollar]

As one last souvenir, he threw his empty gun over his shoulder at me. People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw guns. I decided to join the frack team and won on the chase back out of the main floor to the employees entrance, out to the dimly lit shipping department and its loading dock filled with packages ready for shipment. I could hear him moving around among them. Okay, get your hands up and come out. I'm giving you a chance, but it's not gonna last long. Get moving.

[Mr. Sandler]

I don't need your chance. I've got something better.

[Johnny Dollar]

Okay, so you want to play? I think I'll give you a couple of yuletide presents early. And I'm sure nobody will. Mind if I open your head before Christmas? My hot headed friend was hiding behind a high pile of wooden boxes ready for shipping. I grabbed a heavy empty dolly, gave it a flying start, sent it crashing into the bottom box of the F. Was beautiful. The biggest crash since 29. It was a tough fight, but Mom, I don't think I won. At best, it was a draw. About the 15th time I belted him. He belted me right back. Then he got his hands on a hammer, laid it across the side of my head. I got the hammer, did the same for him and made a hole in one. He fell squarely into a man sized packing case lying at the foot of the packing bench. I was getting weak, dizzy. I had to hold him. One thing to do, tap a case lying right there, already nailed part way in. Put it on right, right over them. Nail it on good tight, good tight, good tight. Everything black, Then everything went white. Hey, Corny as this may sound, where am I?

[Judy Whitehall]

You're in the hospital, Johnny. Dolly. But don't worry, it's only a slight concussion. They brought you here last night.

[Johnny Dollar]

Oh, I suppose I have a hammer shaped hole in my head.

[Judy Whitehall]

No, no, darling, it hardly shows.

[Johnny Dollar]

Oh, how could it? The advantage is covering it up. Well, at least I got him.

[Judy Whitehall]

You what, dear?

[Johnny Dollar]

I got him the killer.

[Judy Whitehall]

Oh, no, dear, you couldn't have. They're still looking for him.

[Johnny Dollar]

Oh, no. Oh, my gosh. What time is it?

[Judy Whitehall]

11 in the morning.

[Johnny Dollar]

I gotta get out of here.

[Judy Whitehall]

Why, Johnny. Johnny, please. Johnny, you're not supposed to get up. Oh, nurse. Nurse.

[Johnny Dollar]

If they let him get away after all my trouble, somebody was going to need a doctor. Judy and I hit the department store in 12 minutes flat. One minute later I was in the shipping department talking to the head man.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Now, now, Mr. Dollar, just calm down. Everything's gonna be all right. Now, exactly what is it you want to know?

[Johnny Dollar]

That big packing case, the one that was lying right here in front of the bench last night. Where is it?

[Narrator/Announcer]

Oh, the great big one.

[Johnny Dollar]

Yes, the great big one.

[Narrator/Announcer]

The one about 8ft long and 3ft wide?

[Johnny Dollar]

Yes, the one about 8ft long and 3ft wide.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Well, there was something very peculiar about that case.

[Johnny Dollar]

You're telling me, where is it?

[Narrator/Announcer]

Well, this morning we came to work and the boys saw it all packed up, so they put it on the truck for Upper New York State.

[Johnny Dollar]

Oh, no.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Oh, indeed they did. But what was peculiar about it? Even though they found it all ready to go later on, they found all the merchandise that was supposed to go in it lying around loose. It had never really been packed.

[Johnny Dollar]

Well, then, quick. The least you can do is tell me where it went.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Well, now that I can do. That box was the boss's big annual charity shipment of goods. That particular box is on its way to some of the unfortunates who'll be spending this Christmas away from home.

[Johnny Dollar]

All right, so where is it?

[Narrator/Announcer]

By now it should be at the New York state prison up in Arining.

[Johnny Dollar]

Expense account item 5 $12.80 dinner check at Pietro's, where I had asked Ms. Judy Whitehall to wait for me the night before and where I inadvertently stood her up. Although how a gal can stand up after eating $12.80 worth of food, more than I could figure out. Let's see. Express account item 6 $10 medical supplies for those poor CBS sound men, Burn Surrey and Billy Gould, who had to break all that glass during the show. Expense account total $511.50. You may think this amount is a little high, but isn't everybody at this time of the year? Signed yours truly, Johnny Dol.

[Commercial Announcer]

Foreign.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Charles russell script by paul dudley and gil dowd. Featured in the cast were jay novello, georgia ellis, marlene ames, parley bear, paul duboff and connie crowder. The special music is written and conducted by leith stevens. Your announcer is bob stevenson. Be sure to be with us at the same time next week when another unusual expense account is handed in by.

[Johnny Dollar]

Yours truly, Johnny Doll.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Those two pleasant gentlemen of music, Juan Monroe and Gene Autry, will be around with special Christmas music tonight on cbs. On his Caravan, Vaughn will feature a medley of Christmas carols and you'll hear the maestro and his band featuring Vaughn's new song success, the Jolly Old man in the bright Red Suit. Gene Autry will bring you Christmas music and the Christmas Eve story, Western style. Be sure to hear these two Saturday night CBS stars, Vaughn Monroe and Gene Autry on most of these same CBS stations. Now stay tuned for Vaughn Monroe's Caravan, which follows on most of the same stations. This is cbs, where yours truly, Johnny Dollar meets Adventure every Saturday night. The Columbia Broadcasting System.

[Judy Whitehall]

Foreign.

[Commercial Announcer]

If you're paying more than $1 a month for any ED or hair medication, listen up at Joy and Blokes. When you start TRT or Enclomiphene, you can add any ED or hair loss prescription for just $1 a month. $1 add ons with your hormone plan and right now all labs are 50% off. I'm Josh Whalen, founder of Joy and Blokes. I built this company because men are tired of paying for fragmented care without results. Every Joy and Blokes lab includes a visit with a licensed clinician who connects your symptoms to your biomarkers. You'll get a real plan that covers hormones, performance and confidence. If you're considering TRT or Enclomiphene, this is the most efficient way to do it. Get [e-mail] and use the promo code podcast new customers get 50 off their labs. And for a limited time you can take advantage of our $1 ED or HA loss add ons when you start TRT or Enclomophine. Not available in all states. Compounded medications are not FDA approved. Learn [e-mail].