
Jonathan Thomas38-11-29 ep01 Santa Claus Is Kidnapped By The Squeebbublians
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Narrator
App today the story of Jonathan Thomas and his Christmas on the moon. This is the story of a wee little boy who has just turned six and his name is Jonathan Thomas. And what happened to him is not just fiddlesticks. For right here is where we make the promise. It could have happened to you if you were not you. But instead were Jonathan Thomas who said his prayers every night upstairs and jumped into bed clear up to his head and snuggled and juggled and ruggled and juggled. Cause Christmas was not very far off and was as good as he could as all other boys would if Christmas were coming so soon. For if he was bad and not merry and glad, his dad would not like such a lady and be sad and even a bit mad and not read fairy tales in his room where the moon disgustingly listened to his weepings and wails. But here is the story and it's true, don't you worry. Cause remember I made you the promise. It's as true as true blue and could have happened to you if it hadn't happened to Jonathan Thomas. You see, the big grandfather clock in the hall had just struck eight. And Jonathan Thomas had had his bath and said his prayers and kissed mummy and Nan and then taken the hand of his dad and up the stairs they went. One, two, button your shoe. Three, four, shut the door until they were to where you say 11, 12, the kitchen shelf. And then down the hall and in the room and whisking the bed.
Dad
Now, now, now, now, now, now pull the covers up so you won't catch the sn. What is it?
Jonathan Thomas
Mommy said if I was to brush my teeth four times. Four times four times four, you would just be the story.
Dad
Well now. And did you brush your teeth that many times?
Jonathan Thomas
Uh huh.
Dad
Then what shall the story be about?
Jonathan Thomas
About Jonathan Thomas and Gus.
Dad
Jonathan Thomas and Gus?
Jonathan Thomas
Uh huh.
Dad
Well, once upon a time there was a little.
Jonathan Thomas
Wait, wait, wait. Daddy Gus is good to hear too. He can't have his hands as a giver.
Dad
Oh, oh, well then by all means, we must haul him out from under the covers. But Gus would be as angry as angry as angry if he didn't hear the story. And he'd probably cry until his sawdust got wet. There. Now let's sit him up on the pillow and we'll twist one ear a little further forward so he'll have no difficulty in hearing. Now then, are we ready?
Jonathan Thomas
Uh huh.
Dad
Well, once upon a time there was a wee little boy who had just turned six. And his name was Jonathan Thomas. And he had a beautiful stuffed teddy bear named Gus. And one night when Jonathan Thomas went to bed away upstairs after he'd brushed his teeth and when he was tucked in with Gus by his side and when he was asleep, a long slender moonbeam made of pure silver came through the window like that. And down the moonbeam came sliding two of the queerest creatures you ever did see like that. And there they were, laughing and chuckling and giggling and poking their fingers at Jonathan Thomas, who was sound. As sound. As sound asleep as he could ever be. But right away, quick as 46 tigers, Gus opened his left eye and then his right eye and he saw the creatures. And then he opened his mouth and went. And he jumped from the bed right after those creatures. And those creatures ran up the moonbeam and Guz ran after them, barking like everything or woofing or whatever koala bears do. And all this noise woke up Jonathan Thomas. And he saw Gus running up the moonbeam and he jumped right out of bed and right up the moonbeam after Guz, shouting as loud as loud as ever he could.
Jonathan Thomas
Guz.
Man on the Moon
Guz, come back. Come back. Gus. Gus.
Jonathan Thomas
Oh, what a very strange place. Maybe I'd better knock on this door.
Man on the Moon
Oh, hello. Well, goodness gracious, my land and Jiminy Crickets. Whatever do you mean by knocking on my door when the sign plainly says absolutely no knocking until after 9 o' clock daylight saving moon time? Where are ye? I. I mean, who are ye? I don't see your name written on you anywhere. Well, speak up. Speak up. Speak up. Speak up. Or has the cat got your tongue? If he has, we'll write him a letter and tell him to bring it back straight away quicker than you could say Jack Robinson. Isn't that silly of me? If a cat really got your tongue, you couldn't say Jack Robinson, could you?
Jonathan Thomas
My name is Jonathan Thomas.
Man on the Moon
A silly name. Tomath and Jonas. Oh there, never mind. We can't all have beautiful names like Squam, Boozle or Flimpuddle, can we? I had a Grandfather once.
Jonathan Thomas
Have you seen Guz Vice?
Man on the Moon
Don't change the subject. Who's Gus?
Jonathan Thomas
He's my teddy bear, and he ran away.
Man on the Moon
Well, then why don't you go there and look for him instead of pestering me? Don't stand there in the doorway. Either come in or stay out. Yes, you'll have to do one or the other, you know. You can't do both at the same time. It's against the law.
Jonathan Thomas
If you please, sir, I'll come in.
Man on the Moon
What a silly thing to say, young man. It's not if I please, but if you please. Your breakfast.
Jonathan Thomas
Oh, no, sir.
Dad
I'm.
Man on the Moon
Well, Linden said. Then who did have it if you didn't?
Jonathan Thomas
No one.
Man on the Moon
I don't think you mean no one you do think. For if no one did have it instead of you, you'd know it. And if I were you, I shouldn't let no one have it again. Mister, no one's getting entirely too many breakfasts lately. Yep, yep, yep, yep. Will you have breakfast with me?
Jonathan Thomas
Oh, I should like that very much, if you don't mind.
Man on the Moon
Of course I don't mind. Except for old King Cole. Yeah, and I have to mind him or he'll throw me in jail for a billion, trillion years. And then what would you like for breakfast?
Jonathan Thomas
Oh, I'd like just anything.
Man on the Moon
Well, I haven't got any of that. You shouldn't go around wanting things that people haven't got. But I can give you oatmeal mo cream and some squaffles and baconate.
Jonathan Thomas
Oh, thank you very much. That sounds the bestest of anything.
Man on the Moon
Well, of course it does. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think I like anything very well myself much. Nash has cooked just right. Well, now, come along. It'll be too late for breakfast. You'll have to eat lunch instead. That would be terrible.
Dad
Here.
Jonathan Thomas
Oh, I'm as full as two times, too. That was the best breakfast I ever ate. Oh, but I wish Cuz was here. Do you think we could find him?
Narrator
Well.
Man on the Moon
Well, I suppose we can if you know where he is.
Jonathan Thomas
But I don't know.
Man on the Moon
Well, then how on the moon do you expect to find him if you don't know where he is? Of course, it might be that the Squiboblin was having only owls. Say hoo. Haven't you ever heard of the Squee bubbulums? They're always catching something. A long time ago they caught little Bo Peep teeth and they never brought him back. And only last Tuesday I had a cold. Oh, it was A beautiful cold. And they caught that. And I haven't seen it since. They're a most dreadful people.
Jonathan Thomas
Are they? Oh, you expect they caught Guz?
Man on the Moon
Well, I shouldn't be at all surprised, but I sometimes am.
Jonathan Thomas
Oh, I hope not. Cause next to my mommy and dad, I love Guz the best.
Man on the Moon
Yeah. Sh. Say, do you hear anything?
Jonathan Thomas
Of course I do. There's somebody at the door.
Man on the Moon
Oh, my goodness. I thought so. Now I'll have to say come in. For I can't say stay out for whoever it is is already out. So I'll have to say come in.
Jonathan Thomas
Well, can't you just say nothing at all?
Man on the Moon
I don't know. I've never tried. What does it mean? Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I'll just have to say come in. Yes, I will. Yes, I will. Yes, I will. Come in. Oh, so it's you, is it?
Narrator
Yeah.
Man on the Moon
Well, what do you wish? And you can't have more.
Narrator
Three wishes if you prefer, Mr. Man in the Moon. I have brought great news, Pearl.
Man on the Moon
Let me see it.
Narrator
I have come to tell you that you had better hide because the wetcher Wetchid squee bubbles are coming. And now I have to go and tell everybody else. Woo. Bye.
Man on the Moon
Oh my goodness. My goodness. The squee bubbles are coming. This is terrible. Come quickly. Jonathan Thomas. We must hide ever so fast or they'll catch us.
Jonathan Thomas
Where will we hide?
Man on the Moon
Well, right here, of course. Where do you suppose? If the squeebobbles come into this room, Just shut your eyes and don't make a sound.
Jonathan Thomas
Don't we have to hide somewhere?
Man on the Moon
No, because somewhere is too far to go and we haven't time. Just shut your eyes.
Jonathan Thomas
Can't they see us if we shut our eyes?
Man on the Moon
Of course they can't. Whoever heard of such a thing? You can't see them, can you, with your eyes shut?
Jonathan Thomas
No.
Man on the Moon
Well, then how can they see us? We can't see them. I'd like to know.
Dad
Uh.
Man on the Moon
Oh my goodness. My goodness. Here they come.
Narrator
Here they come.
Man on the Moon
Here they come. Now, don't forget, shut your eyes and do make a sound.
Jonathan Thomas
All right, I won't.
Man on the Moon
One more thing. If they should ask if anyone here, tell them no. Catch your eyes now.
Dad
Quick.
Man on the Moon
Can you see anyone in here, General? Oh, I can't see us all. They must all be hiding. You'd better ask and see. Yes, sir. Is anyone in here? No, no, we haven't seen him all day. Oh, well, thank you very much. You're extremely welcome. There's no one here, General. Might as well leave. Oh, Goodbye. Yeah, goodbye. Oh, my goodness, that was a narrow escape. So narrow I could hardly squeeze through it. Well, you can open your eyes now, Jonathan Thomas.
Jonathan Thomas
Didn't they see us?
Man on the Moon
Of course not. How could they? You had your eyes shut all the time, didn't you? Oh, my goodness. My goodness. My goodness. There's more of it. Come in, quick. Quick, quick, quick away.
Narrator
The Squibobliams have kidnapped Santa Claus.
Man on the Moon
Kidnapped Santa Claus. And we must watch to rescue him right away. Quick, woman. Oh, my goodness. My goodness. Hurry, Jonathan Thomas. We must rush to the rescue. Santa Claus has been kidnapped. Oh, and there won't be any Christmas unless we rescue him. Come on, Jonathan Thomas. We must hurry. Like everything, only faster.
Narrator
Well, it isn't very long until Christmas and Santa Claus has been kidnapped. Will Jonathan Thomas and the man on the moon be able to find him in time? And what about Gus? Where is he? Don't forget to listen to the next adventure of Jonathan Thomas.
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7.
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Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Host: Harolds Old Time Radio
Episode: Jonathan Thomas 38-11-29 ep01 “Santa Claus Is Kidnapped By The Squeebbublians”
Date: December 23, 2025
This enchanting episode invites listeners into a whimsical radio play from the “Golden Age of Radio”: the inaugural adventure of Jonathan Thomas and His Christmas on the Moon. The story revolves around a young boy named Jonathan Thomas who, after snuggling into bed with his stuffed bear Gus, tumbles into a magical lunar world. Soon, Jonathan learns that Santa Claus has been kidnapped by the mischievous Squeebbublians, setting off a fantastical rescue quest. The episode features playful language, clever rhymes, and imaginative characters, capturing the joy and magic of classic children’s radio storytelling.
Jonathan finds himself in a strange place. He knocks on a door and meets the absurd and comical “Man on the Moon.”
Famous for his silly reasoning and wordplay, the Man on the Moon puzzles Jonathan about names and the rules of entering rooms.
Memorable quote:
“If a cat really got your tongue, you couldn’t say Jack Robinson, could you?”
— Man on the Moon (05:17)
Jonathan, after some humorous confusion about “no one” eating breakfast, accepts the Man on the Moon’s offer for “oatmeal mo cream and some squaffles and baconate.”
This segment is filled with classic nonsensical food and language, evoking the creative spirit of early children’s radio.
Memorable exchange:
“Well, I haven’t got any of that. You shouldn’t go around wanting things that people haven’t got.”
— Man on the Moon (06:51)
“They’re always catching something. A long time ago, they caught little Bo Peep’s teeth, and they never brought him back.” (07:45)
The hiding sequence is played for laughs, hinging on the logic that shutting your eyes makes you invisible:
“Of course they can’t [see us]. Whoever heard of such a thing? You can’t see them, can you, with your eyes shut?”
— Man on the Moon (09:40)
The Squeebbublians barge in but leave empty-handed, convinced by clever deception.
“The Squibobliams have kidnapped Santa Claus.” (10:43, Narrator)
On Imagination:
“It could have happened to you if you were not you. But instead were Jonathan Thomas…” — Narrator (00:36)
Playful Parental Wisdom:
“If he was bad and not merry and glad, his dad would not like such a lad and be sad…” — Narrator (00:49)
“Mommy said if I was to brush my teeth four times… you would just read me the story.” — Jonathan Thomas (02:23)
Moon Logic:
“If no one did have it instead of you, you’d know it. And if I were you, I shouldn’t let no one have it again. Mister, no one’s getting entirely too many breakfasts lately.” — Man on the Moon (06:22)
Absurd Heroics:
“There’s more of it! Come in, quick! Quick, quick, quick, away.” — Man on the Moon (10:33)
The Cliffhanger:
“Santa Claus has been kidnapped. Oh, and there won’t be any Christmas unless we rescue him. Come on, Jonathan Thomas. We must hurry. Like everything, only faster.” — Man on the Moon (10:46)
| Segment | Timestamp | |-------------------------------------------------|-------------| | Introduction to Jonathan Thomas | 00:28–02:18 | | Bedtime Story Begins with Dad | 02:18–03:10 | | Moonbeam Arrival and Gus’s Chase | 03:10–04:34 | | Jonathan on the Moon, Meets the Man on the Moon | 04:35–05:55 | | Breakfast & Absurd Banter | 06:08–07:17 | | The Squeebbublians Are Introduced | 07:34–08:44 | | Hiding from the Squeebbublians | 08:44–10:32 | | Santa Claus’s Kidnapping Announced | 10:43–11:17 | | Closing Narration and Call to Next Episode | 11:17–11:36 |
The story is told with warmth, whimsy, and humor, full of playful banter and fantastical logic. It captures the innocence of a child’s imaginative world, using silly rhymes, creative names, and a gentle sense of urgency as Christmas hangs in the balance.
This episode delivers a classic fairy-tale adventure for families, full of charming old-time radio quirks and fanciful storytelling. Jonathan Thomas’s quest to rescue his bear Gus and save Santa Claus from the Squeebbublians sets the stage for a continuing adventure tailor-made for spirited holiday listening.
Next episode teaser:
Will Jonathan Thomas and the Man on the Moon save Santa—and Christmas itself? Where is Gus? Stay tuned for more adventures!