Judy Canova 48-01-17 (136) Guest Eddie Cantor

Summary

Podcast Summary: Judy Canova 48-01-17 (136) Guest Eddie Cantor

Podcast Information:

• Title: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Host/Author: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Episode: Judy Canova 48-01-17 (136) Guest Eddie Cantor
• Release Date: January 14, 2025

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Introduction

Judy Canova 48-01-17 (136) features the beloved Judy Canova alongside guest star Eddie Cantor, showcasing a blend of comedic dialogue, political satire, and classic musical performances reflective of the Golden Age of Radio. The episode seamlessly weaves these elements into an engaging narrative that highlights the charm and wit of its stars.

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The Political Deal: Eddie Cantor Runs for President

The episode opens with Judy Canova discussing Eddie Cantor's unexpected decision to run for president. Judy learns that Eddie has struck a deal with her: if she secures votes from her friends in Cactus Junction, he promises to propel her into a successful screen career.

Notable Quotes:

• Eddie Cantor [00:35]: "Eddie Cantor is going to run for president."
• Judy Canova [00:49]: "If you get me the votes from Cactus Junction, and when I'm president, I'll make you Secretary of Agriculture."

This arrangement sets the stage for a humorous exploration of political campaigning intertwined with Judy's aspirations in the entertainment industry.

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Campaign Promises and Comedic Exchanges

As Judy strategizes to gather votes, she engages in light-hearted conversations with Aunt Aggie and Geranium, delving into Eddie's campaign promises and personal quirks. Their banter touches on Eddie's attractiveness, political strategies, and the implausibility of his promises, such as paving streets with gold from Fort Knox.

Notable Quotes:

• Eddie Cantor [01:25]: "His girdle too tight."
• Judy Canova [02:15]: "If it backs up any further, it'll look like a postage stamp. That is dirty."

These exchanges highlight the comedic tension between Judy's practical concerns and Eddie's grandiose political ambitions.

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Eddie Cantor's Musical Performance: "No Business Like Show Business"

A pivotal moment in the episode is Eddie Cantor's performance of "No Business Like Show Business." This musical interlude not only serves as entertainment but also provides insight into Eddie's nostalgic reflections on his career and the challenges of the entertainment industry.

Notable Quotes:

• Eddie Cantor [05:22]: "There's no business like no business like show business."
• Eddie Cantor [09:41]: "Show business introduced me to the great Ziegfeld and Will Rogers and Fanny Brice and W.C. Fields and Bert Williams and Marilyn Miller."

Through his rendition, Eddie reminisces about his early days with legendary figures, adding depth to his character and underscoring the sacrifices made in the pursuit of fame.

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Screen Test Mishaps and Negotiations

Post-performance, Judy reviews her screen test feedback, which humorously criticizes her acting skills. Despite the discouraging comments, Judy leverages the situation to renegotiate her deal with Eddie, shifting the promise from a screen career to a governmental position.

Notable Quotes:

• Judy Canova [10:13]: "This girl has feet as dainty as fairy boots."
• Eddie Cantor [11:04]: "We'll cut her out of this one. Goodbye, Judy."

The ensuing negotiation showcases Judy's resilience and wit as she navigates the complexities of her professional and political entanglements.

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Family Dynamics and Further Campaign Shenanigans

The narrative delves deeper into Judy's personal life, introducing her family members who add layers of humor and relatability. Interactions with her father and mother reveal the everyday struggles and endearing qualities of rural life, juxtaposed against the backdrop of Eddie's lofty political goals.

Notable Quotes:

• Judy Canova [12:13]: "They ought to get rid of them milking machines and bring back the human touch."
• Eddie Cantor [16:11]: "Are you kidding? What has Dewey got that I haven't got?"

These segments blend domestic comedy with political commentary, enriching the storyline with authentic character interactions.

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Eddie Cantor's Campaign Strategies and Absurd Promises

Eddie outlines his unconventional campaign strategies, including forming his own political party and making unrealistic promises aimed at securing votes from the masses. His plans for world peace, involving mass relocations to prevent conflicts, illustrate the absurdity and satire embedded in the episode.

Notable Quotes:

• Eddie Cantor [16:47]: "The first thing I'm going to do is to give the country back to the people."
• Eddie Cantor [16:59]: "I plan to move all the Russian people of France, all the French people of Poland, all the Polish people to Italy, and all the Italian people to Turkey."

These declarations serve as a comedic critique of political rhetoric and the often far-fetched promises made during campaigns.

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Conclusion: March of Dimes and Final Promotions

The episode culminates with Judy being honored as the official March of Dimes girl, recognizing her efforts in combating infantile paralysis. This segment transitions smoothly into public service announcements and product promotions, maintaining the old-time radio format's signature blend of entertainment and advertisement.

Notable Quotes:

• Judy Canova [27:13]: "Infantile paralysis respects no race, color or creed. It can strike at your child anytime."
• Eddie Cantor [27:44]: "Go to sleepy little baby."

The conclusion reinforces the episode's themes of community engagement and social responsibility, while also adhering to the era's advertising conventions.

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Key Takeaways

• Humorous Political Satire: The episode cleverly uses comedy to satirize the political landscape, highlighting the absurdity of certain campaign promises and strategies.

• Character Development: Judy Canova's interactions with Eddie Cantor and her family members provide depth to her character, showcasing her as both ambitious and grounded.

• Nostalgic Musical Performance: Eddie Cantor's rendition of "No Business Like Show Business" serves as a nostalgic homage to the entertainment industry's golden days.

• Blend of Entertainment and Advertising: Staying true to the Golden Age of Radio format, the episode seamlessly integrates comedic storytelling with product promotions and public service announcements.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Eddie Cantor [00:35]: "Eddie Cantor is going to run for president."
• Judy Canova [00:49]: "If you get me the votes from Cactus Junction, and when I'm president, I'll make you Secretary of Agriculture."
• Eddie Cantor [05:22]: "There's no business like no business like show business."
• Judy Canova [10:13]: "This girl has feet as dainty as fairy boots."
• Eddie Cantor [16:47]: "The first thing I'm going to do is to give the country back to the people."
• Judy Canova [27:13]: "Infantile paralysis respects no race, color or creed. It can strike at your child anytime."

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Final Thoughts

Judy Canova 48-01-17 (136) Guest Eddie Cantor is a quintessential example of classic radio entertainment, blending humor, music, and social commentary. Through its engaging narrative and memorable performances, the episode offers listeners a delightful journey back to a time when families gathered around the radio for shared laughter and meaningful messages.

Transcript

[Howard Petrie]

From Hollywood, the Judy Canova show. Brought to you each week by the Colgate Palmola Teeth Company, makers of Halo shampoo to glorify your hair. And the new 1948 Super Suds with extra suds for extra whiteness. The Judy Canova show, with Mel Blanc, Ruby Dandridge, Joe Kearns, Ruth Perrott, our.

[Eddie Cantor]

Guest star, Eddie Cantor, Charles Danton, his orchestra and starring Judy Canov.

[Howard Petrie]

Well, Eddie Cantor is going to run for president. And Judy Canova has made a deal with him to get votes. Eddie has promised Judy a screen career if she will get him the votes of all her friends in Cactus Junction. At the moment, Judy is discussing the situation with Aunt Aggie and Geranium.

[Judy Canova]

Judy, do you mean to tell me Eddie Kander is actually running for President? Yeah. Ms. Judy, a radio comedian for president? That's right. Well, Judy, I think Mr. Tanner would make a nice looking president. But you know, I've always wondered what makes his eyes pop out like that. Well, if you woke up some morning and found out you were the father of five girls, your eyes would pop out, too. Mine is starting to bug out just thinking about it. Yeah, but Ms. Judy, I don't think that's what makes Mr. Cannon's eyes pop out. You don't? Uranium? No, ma'am. If you ask me, that man wears.

[Eddie Cantor]

His girdle too tight.

[Judy Canova]

Geranium. Geranium. Mr. Cantor doesn't wear a girdle. Oh, you can't tell about these men. Ms. Judith Rochester told me that Mr. Bennet wears a toupee. Yeah, well, I know, but a toupee is different. A toupee covers what you haven't got. And a girdle hides what you wish you didn't have. Judy, I know. Judy, if you get the Cactus Junction, vote for Eddie Kander. Did he promise anything besides a screen career? He sure did. He said when he's president, he'll pave the streets in Texas Junction with gold from Fort Knox. But, Judy, won't the government need the gold to back up the dollar? Back up the dollar?

[Eddie Cantor]

Yes.

[Judy Canova]

If it backs up any further, it'll look like a postage stamp. That is dirty. This might be your turn if they put you a break. Give you a break? And pictures.

[Eddie Cantor]

Oh, yes.

[Judy Canova]

Judy, didn't one of the directors tell you you had legs like Grable? No, Aunt Aggie. He said I had legs like Gable, the duck hunter, you know. Sorry. Eddie Carrot has a lot of influence at the studio. Gee, I hope I can get him a lot of votes, Ms. Judith. I can get my Boyfriend Pomeroy's vote. Yeah. When I make love to that man, he's putty in my hand. You really win him over, huh, Daniel? Yeah, honey, last night I poked it up and called him my luscious little bunch of sugar beets. Yeah? Well, what'd he say to that, huh? He said, come close to my little pressure cooker and let me hear you sizzle. Well, follow your. Affects you the same way, doesn't he? Geranium. Ms. Judy, when that man just holds my hand, I get the feeling I'm walking on pussy willows wearing peach falls for bedroom slippers. Oh, Judy, Judy, I do hope your screen test was successful. Gee, I hope so too. But that director made me awful nervous. Every time I tried to read my lines, he waved his finger under my nose and hollered, pardon me for talking in your face. Senorita. Oh, hello, Pedro. Tommy, what's wrong? You look mad today.

[Pedro]

I am, senorita. I just flew off the handle.

[Eddie Cantor]

How come?

[Pedro]

I was cranking the car.

[Judy Canova]

Pedro, which car will you trying to crank?

[Pedro]

Little Austin. And really it makes me mad every time I try to crank that Austin. Why, the crank stands still and the car spins around. Senorita, has that car got a fluid drive?

[Judy Canova]

What makes you think it has fluid drive?

[Pedro]

Well, I was driving down the street and I heard somebody say, look at that grip behind the wheel.

[Judy Canova]

Say, Bill, I want you to drive me over to Polygon Studios. I want to see how my screen test came out. I got to talk to Eddie Canter.

[Pedro]

Oh, senorita, once at a movie studio, me and my cousin Gonzalez got a job playing horse.

[Judy Canova]

A horse, Pedro.

[Pedro]

See, they asked Gonzalez to be the head and shoulders.

[Judy Canova]

Where did you fit in, senorita?

[Pedro]

I quit before they could tell me.

[Judy Canova]

Well, get the car ready and let's go to the movie studios. We don't want to be late. Mr. Caner's a very important man.

[Eddie Cantor]

All right, quiet on the set, everybody. Quiet. Mr. Canter is ready to record. Okay, roll them. There's no business like no business like no business I know Everything about it is appealing Everything the pathic will allow Nowhere do you get that happy feeling like when you're stealing that extra now there's no people like show people they smile when they are low Yesterday they told you you would not go far that night you open and there you are Next day on your dressing room they've hung a star let's go on with the show there's no business yes, there is no business like show business it owes me nothing I owe it a lot. Show business introduced me to the great Ziegfeld and Will Rogers and Fanny Brice and W.C. fields and Bert Williams and Marilyn Miller. And what a joy it was to play in Those shows for Mr. Ziegfeld. He wanted to walk out on the stage and sing those songs, those great songs that everybody loves. Songs like these. Pack up all my cares and woes Here I go singing low Bye bye Blackbird where somebody waits for me Sugar is sweet and so is she Bye bye Blackbird no one here can love and understand me and oh, what hard luck stories they all hand me don't make my bed Light the light I'll be home late tonight Blackbird Bye bye Ain't she sweet See you coming down the street and I ask you very confidentially Ain't she please, Ain't she nice? Flip her over once or twice and ask you very confidentially Ain't she nice? Just cast an eye in her direction oh, me, oh, my Ain't that perfection Some confection I repeat don't you think she's kind of neat? And ask you very confidentially Ain't she sweet? How you going to keep them down on the farm after they see Harry? How you going to keep them away from brooks Broadway dancing around, changing the town how you going to keep them away from harm? That's a mystery Imagine Reuben when he meets his PA Just kiss his cheek and holla, ooh, la la how you going to keep them down on the farm after they see Har. Ah, that was wonderful, Mr. Canter. You'll be able to hear the rushes in about an hour. Oh, by the way, there's someone here to see you. Oh, didn't I tell you that when I'm recording, I want to see a human being? But this is Judy Canova. Oh, send her in. That's right. Hello, Judy. I'm sorry I kept you waiting.

[Judy Canova]

Oh, Chuck, Chuck, that's all right. See, I was listening to that wonderful medley you were singing about show business. Charlie. Those must have been exciting days.

[Eddie Cantor]

Yes, and the nights weren't so bad either. Look, you know, Judy, Judy, every time I can be had. Look, Judy, every time I sing those old songs, it takes me back to my early days. I'll never forget the first time I worked for Flo Zick Bell. You should have seen the review I got after opening night. It said last night Flo Ziegfeld presented his new show starring Eddie Kante. It was one of Ziegfeld's biggest follies. Wonder how they meant that. Ah, and those Ziegfeld girls. Oh, Judy, I fell in love with every one of them. Big, gorgeous showgirls. Six feet tall, every one of them.

[Judy Canova]

But, Eddie, you're not that tall yourself. How could you kiss them?

[Eddie Cantor]

When Josephson got down on his knee, I got up on his back. Get up, Al.

[Judy Canova]

Well, Eddie. Eddie, this is all val. Interesting, but I came over here to talk to you about my movie career. Now, remember our deal. If you don't get me in pictures, I won't get the folks back in Texas Junction to vote for you for president.

[Eddie Cantor]

Judy, you got nothing to worry about here. I'll prove it to you. Hey, Joe. Oh, yes, Mr. Carter. Has Mr. Thornton looked at Ms. Canova's screen test? Yes, and he asked me to return these still pictures to her.

[Joe Kearns]

Here they are, Ms. Canova.

[Judy Canova]

Oh, thank you. Now, ain't this nice? Listen to what he wrote on the back of my picture. This girl has feet as dainty as fairy boots.

[Eddie Cantor]

Mr. Cantor, she read that wrong. It says, this girl has feet as.

[Pedro]

Dainty as fairy boats.

[Judy Canova]

Yeah. Here's something else he wrote. Got me kind of puzzled, though. It says, this girl hasn't got six apples.

[Eddie Cantor]

Now, let me see that. Six apples. It says this girl hasn't got sex appeal. Why, Joe, that is utterly ridiculous. How could anybody say a thing like that about Judy? But Mr. Can. Look for yourself. Ms. Canova's just like all the other girls. Her complexion comes out of a box, her red lips come out of a tube and her eyebrows are painted on.

[Judy Canova]

Well, don't let it fool you, mister. The rest is all me.

[Eddie Cantor]

Ah, tell them, Judy Jo. I'm disappointed in you. Don't you agree this girl. Don't you agree this girl is cut out to be in pictures?

[Howard Petrie]

Absolutely.

[Eddie Cantor]

We'll cut her out of this one. Goodbye, Judy. I'm terribly sorry, but there goes your movie career.

[Judy Canova]

Yeah, Eddie. And there go your vote from Cactus Junction.

[Eddie Cantor]

Judy, don't say that. After all, water's a movie career. You work hard, you become famous, and then the public forgets you. Years later, you make a comeback. You've got a home with a swimming pool in Beverly Hills, $8 million in the bank. They make a movie of your life.

[Judy Canova]

Yeah, and then what?

[Eddie Cantor]

You wind up looking like Al Josen. What a terrible thing. I wouldn't even wish that on Georgie yesterday. I'll tell you what we do, Judy. I got a much better idea. You get me the votes from Cactus Junction, and when I'm president, I'll make you Secretary of Agriculture.

[Judy Canova]

Oh, me? Secretary of Agriculture?

[Eddie Cantor]

Why not? Everybody likes you. You're a farm girl. You've got the human touch.

[Judy Canova]

Yeah, I guess you're right. That's what's missing on the farm.

[Eddie Cantor]

What's. What do you mean, Judy?

[Judy Canova]

Well, they ought to get rid of them milking machines and bring back the human touch. Yeah, sure, make them cows happier.

[Eddie Cantor]

What have you got against those milking machines?

[Judy Canova]

Oh, Eddie, that get out of order now and then. Once our milking machine went into reverse and we couldn't shut it off.

[Eddie Cantor]

Gosh, what happened to the cow?

[Judy Canova]

They found her six days later over the Kansas City Airport looking for a place to land. Eddie, listen. Tell me, are you sure you want me to be secretary of agriculture?

[Eddie Cantor]

Yes, Duty. If I'm elected president, I want to have a good, strong farm block and I want you at the head of it.

[Judy Canova]

Eddie, you've convinced me.

[Eddie Cantor]

You mean you'll be the head of my farm block?

[Judy Canova]

Yep. You couldn't find a better blockhead than Judy Kenoba.

[Eddie Cantor]

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[Judy Canova]

Hello.

[Joe Kearns]

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[Eddie Cantor]

So Halo, everybody.

[Howard Petrie]

Well, as everybody knows, Eddie Cantor is running for president. And in order to get the Cactus Junction vote he has promised if he's elected, he'll make Judy secretary of Agriculture.

[Eddie Cantor]

Oh, yes. Just think of it, Judy. We'll make a great team. I'd be president and you'd be secretary. I'm a man and you're a woman.

[Judy Canova]

Yeah, and the funny thing is that we both started as babies. Eddie, tell me something. How come you ever got mixed up in politics?

[Eddie Cantor]

Oh, simple. I just made a bunch of campaign promises and threw my hat in the ring.

[Judy Canova]

You threw your hat in the ring?

[Eddie Cantor]

Yeah, like they do in Spain.

[Judy Canova]

Yeah, but this is politics. In Spain, it's the bull ring.

[Eddie Cantor]

Same thing here, baby. Thank you, Democrats. Judy. Judy, since I entered politics, life has been perfectly wonderful.

[Judy Canova]

How do you mean, Eddie?

[Eddie Cantor]

Well, this morning when I got up, the maid said to me, good morning, Mr. President. I came downstairs, the garden said, good morning, Mr. President. The cook said, good morning, Mr. President. The night I came and asked for some money. Back to schmo again.

[Judy Canova]

Eddie, there's one thing about politics I don't understand. How do you find out what the people want?

[Eddie Cantor]

Why, you just talk to the man in the street. Come on out here. I'll show you. Come on out the street. Look, Judy, here comes an average citizen now. Hey, mister.

[Howard Petrie]

Yeah? What can I do for you?

[Eddie Cantor]

Can you tell me what the man in the street wants?

[Howard Petrie]

Yeah.

[Eddie Cantor]

He wants to move out of the street and into a house. You see, Judy, if you're going to be a politician, you've got to get close to the people.

[Judy Canova]

Yeah, Eddie, I think that fella would have voted for you. But I bet he don't even know what tickets you're running on.

[Eddie Cantor]

Judy, I'm organizing my own political party. If Henry can do it, so can I. What's the difference?

[Judy Canova]

But. But you mean you're going to leave your regular party? Why not?

[Eddie Cantor]

A man can bolt his party if he wants to. History proves that every year. There are plenty of bolts in Washington.

[Judy Canova]

Yeah, plenty of nuts go with them. Eddie, you might have some tough competition. Governor Dewey, for instance.

[Eddie Cantor]

Are you kidding? What has Dewey got that I haven't got?

[Judy Canova]

Su.

[Eddie Cantor]

Since when does two of a kind beat a full house?

[Judy Canova]

But, Eddie, Eddie, Governor Dewey's very popular in the farm district. I saw a campaign picture of him milking a cow.

[Eddie Cantor]

Milking a cow? Why, that's dirty politics.

[Judy Canova]

What do you mean?

[Eddie Cantor]

A guy that would do that would pull anything.

[Judy Canova]

Well, Andy, listen. Tell me, if you're elected, what's your platform going to be?

[Eddie Cantor]

The first thing I'm going to do is to give the country back to the people.

[Judy Canova]

Golly, don't the people have enough trouble? What else are you going to do?

[Eddie Cantor]

I even have a plan for world peace. Listen to this. I plan to move all the Russian people of France, all the French people of Poland, all the Polish people to Italy, and all the Italian people to Turkey.

[Judy Canova]

Yeah, but how will that bring about world peace?

[Eddie Cantor]

Everybody be so busy learning a new language, they won't have time to fight.

[Judy Canova]

Yeah, but you might have trouble getting Congress to back you up. You might run into one of them filibusters I'm not what?

[Eddie Cantor]

Filibuster?

[Judy Canova]

Yeah, that's when somebody gets up in the house and talks and talks for days and days and never stops.

[Eddie Cantor]

Oh, Ida.

[Judy Canova]

Oh, yeah.

[Eddie Cantor]

Oh, yeah.

[Judy Canova]

Imagine.

[Eddie Cantor]

I to the first lady of the land. And you. You. Judy Canova, Secretary of Agriculture.

[Judy Canova]

You know, Eddie, I think I'll take the job. See, I could do a lot of things for the folks back home in Texas Junction. So I could send them pamphlets, seeds, maybe even medicine.

[Eddie Cantor]

Medicine?

[Judy Canova]

Yep. I'll send each family a gallon of Dr. Kern's Wonder Tonic. It's good for men and women, little girls. It's even good for growing boys.

[Eddie Cantor]

Judy, would you mind repeating that I said? Wait a minute. Let me get something, will you? No prompting. Go ahead, Judy.

[Judy Canova]

Eddie. Eddie, I said it. Even good for growing boys.

[Eddie Cantor]

At last I know what to get Ida for her birthday.

[Judy Canova]

You know something, Eddie? Eddie, talking about Cactus Junction makes me realize that if I go to Washington, I might get awful lonesome for my folks. Do you think you could find a place in your cabinet for them?

[Eddie Cantor]

Yeah, but I don't know anything about your folks, Judy. Are they true sons and daughters of the soil?

[Judy Canova]

They sure are. Pa worked in the good earth. And after working for 30 years in the good earth, he had only one thing to say.

[Eddie Cantor]

What was that, Joshua?

[Judy Canova]

Sure need a bath. But you know, my family could do you a lot of good in Washington, Eddie. They're real live up and atom people. Always on the toes. Well, I remember one day back home in Texas Junction, Ma was talking to Pa. She walked over to him and she said so. Wake up, Pa. Come on, get up, you lazy critter.

[Pedro]

Oh, gosh.

[Judy Canova]

What makes you so tired?

[Pedro]

I'm all pooped out. I walked clear from the barn yesterday.

[Judy Canova]

I've had tire you out. It's only a few feet.

[Pedro]

I know, Ma, but the wind was against me.

[Howard Petrie]

Ma.

[Pedro]

I didn't sleep good last night. I was cold.

[Judy Canova]

Well, I was cold in bed too.

[Pedro]

Pa. Well, I gave you that hot water bottle last night. Didn't that warm you up?

[Judy Canova]

No. And I drunk the whole thing.

[Pedro]

I got a cold in the head. How can I stop it from going down into my chest?

[Judy Canova]

That's easy, Pa. Just tie a knot in your neck. Paw, breakfast is ready. Start with your coffee. Oh, more.

[Pedro]

There's a grasshopper in this cook.

[Judy Canova]

Summer is over, Pa. That ain't no grasshopper.

[Pedro]

Are you sure?

[Judy Canova]

Yes, Pa. You know I never serve nothing out of season.

[Howard Petrie]

Ma.

[Pedro]

This is too a grasshopper.

[Judy Canova]

Well, stop them blowing on your corn. You making Seasick? Look Paul, here come Judy's dumb boyfriend.

[Eddie Cantor]

Lucy, how delusional.

[Judy Canova]

All the parts about so.

[Eddie Cantor]

Well, I'm out of my brother Buford. He borried my shirt to go out on a date last night and when he come back it was all covered with lipstick.

[Pedro]

Lukie, why should that make you mad?

[Eddie Cantor]

Well, how'd you like to stay home while your son was out having a good time, huh?

[Judy Canova]

Is that the only thing you're all head up about today?

[Eddie Cantor]

Gosh, no. When I was coming up the walk, that old hound dog of yours bit me.

[Judy Canova]

Now Lucy, that old hound dog can't bite. He just barks.

[Eddie Cantor]

Well, he just barked the sheet out of my pants.

[Pedro]

Looky, you're just. Just plain stupid. What's wrong with your brains lately?

[Eddie Cantor]

Well, Ma's been washing my head with water softener.

[Judy Canova]

Luky, you'd be smarter if you hadn't been so stubborn about going to school.

[Pedro]

Yeah, Lukie, you're so pig headed you'll never amount to nothing.

[Eddie Cantor]

Shucks, I will if the price of pork stays up. Well, if when you fork folks will excuse me, I'm going into the room and court Judy. My dingy dongies. I sure do love a tackle.

[Judy Canova]

Pa, remember when we was a carton, you said my mouth was like a rosebud.

[Pedro]

Yeah, Mars. And the day we got married it opened up and it's been open ever since. You was lucky to land me, Ma. There's few people left in the world like me.

[Judy Canova]

I know Pa. That DDT does a good job. Don't. Well, let's get the chores done. You slop the hogs and I'll get the mixing bowl and give Willie a haircut. Seems like her body ain't got no time for nothing. And Eddie, that'll give you an idea what my family's like got.

[Eddie Cantor]

That's very interesting, Judy.

[Judy Canova]

Well, don't you think you should put them in your cabinet?

[Eddie Cantor]

That's a good idea, Judy.

[Judy Canova]

You mean you'll do it?

[Eddie Cantor]

Yes, I'll put them all in the cabinet, lock the door and throw away the key.

[Howard Petrie]

Well folks, have you heard the big news? Have you seen our amazing pictures of a huge 15 ton trailer truck overflowing with rich thick suds from the new 1948 Super Suds? Do you realize that every single lively bustling bubble in that big truckload of suds came out of just one? Yes, we said one box of the new Extra Sudsy 1948 Super Suds. Seems hard to believe, but it's true. It's been proved and what does that mean for you? It's the suds that do the work. Just because of those extra suds and the new 1948 Super Suds. No other soap in the whole wide world can wash white clothes whiter. Wash clothes cleaner, remove more dirt. Super Suds washes clothes color bright too and you need no bleach. Buy a box at your dealers tomorrow and carry home a whole truckload of hard working wonder washing suds in one hand in just one box of the new Extra Sudsy 1948 Super Suds. Super Suds.

[Pedro]

Super Suds.

[Eddie Cantor]

Extra suds for wider dust.

[Howard Petrie]

The Judy Canova show is written by Fred Fox and Henry Hooper with John Ward and is produced and directed by Joe Ryan. This is Howard Petrie asking you to use Halo shampoo to glorify your hair. And the new 1948 Super Suds with extra suds for extra whiteness. Now here's Judy.

[Judy Canova]

Thank you, Howard. And I want to thank you, Eddie Cantor, for dropping in to visit with us tonight.

[Eddie Cantor]

Judy, it was my pleasure. Will I see you tomorrow in the March of Dimes inaugural parade?

[Judy Canova]

You bet you will, Eddie. I wouldn't miss that parade for anything. All those beautiful floats and those great big giant balloons. It'll be wonderful.

[Eddie Cantor]

Just as wonderful, Judy, is the great work that you've been doing to combat infantile paralysis.

[Judy Canova]

Oh, well, I've only been trying to do my part, Eddie.

[Eddie Cantor]

You're doing great work, Judy, make no mistake about it. And because of your untiring efforts and inspiring attitude, I've been asked to tell you that the national foundation has named you their official March of Dimes girl. Congratulations and good night, Judy.

[Judy Canova]

Folks, this is really an honor. I appreciate. You know, infantile paralysis respects no race, color or creed. It can strike at your child anytime. So please, join a good fight against this dreaded disease. Send your dimes and dollars to your local March of Dimes headquarters. Now. Your contribution may mean the difference between a healthy, happy child or one hopelessly crippled for life.

[Eddie Cantor]

Go to sleepy little baby.

[Judy Canova]

Go to sleepy little baby when you wake your patty patty cake and rise a shiny little pony.

[Joe Kearns]

Colgate Dental Cream cleans your breath while it cleans your teeth. No other toothpaste cleans teeth better. Colgate clean teeth thoroughly safely reveals natural sparkle and beauty. And scientific tests prove that in 7 out of 10 cases. Colgate Dental Cream instantly stops unfleasing breath that originates in the mouth. See if you don't agree with the millions who have made Colgate America's favorite toothpaste. After you eat. And before every date, use Colgate dental Cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth.

[Howard Petrie]

Eddie Cantor appeared for the courtesy of the brewers of pants Bluer Than Beer. Stay tuned to Kay Kaiser with his comedy of errors in the College of Musical Knowledge, which follows immediately. This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company.