
Jumbo Fire Chief Program - (00) The Circus Is In Trouble - 10/29/1935
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Narrator/Announcer
Texaco is on the air Texaco service stations and dealers from coast to coast present the new Jumbo Fire Chief program. We are broadcasting from the sawdust ring of the New York Hippodrome, scene of the most spectacular theatrical venture of the time. An actual audience of 4,500 people is present and we've asked them not to laugh or applaud so that you may better enjoy the program. The story is written by Ben hecht and Charles MacArthur with original songs by Richard Rogers and Lawrence Hart. The cast stars Jimmy Durante in a new and lovable comedy role. Claudius B. Bowers. The B stands for brain. Arthur Sinclair, dean of the Irish Theater, as John A. Considine, owner of the Jumbo Show. Donald Novis as Matt Mulligan, son of Considine's bitterest business rival, APK prominent theater guild actor as Jellicoe. Ms. Gloria Grafton in the part of Considine's Daughter, with Charles Henderson singing Razorback. Adolf Deutsch, musical director, all under the personal supervision of Billy Rose.
John A. Considine
Once again and again. Do it over and over again. Rewind. We know upon the trashes.
Narrator/Announcer
It's 9:30 in the morning. The greater Considine Wonder show has just thick camp in the circus. Rain jugglers, animal trainers, contortionists and acrobats are rehearsing. Overhead, the daredevils of the high wire and trapeze are limbering up as they practice.
John A. Considine
We hear the song of the circus. Again and again. Do it over and over again. Are you ready, Diablo? Okay, it's up. We're going to shoot Diablo out of the cannon. Not so good, Diablo. You better do it over again, Mr. Jellicoe. Yes, Mr. Considine. 9:35, line up the parade. Right, Sir Alan. Off the impurity, lads.
Claudius B. Bowers
9:35 parade. Starving.
John A. Considine
We ain't parading. Hey, Watson. Now get this into your whimy head. We ain't parading you, Mr. Considine. What's with the lady Jellicoe? Some of the artists are showing a little reluctance, Mr. Considine. Reluctance. And what for? Come and have a look outside at Main Street. It's bulging with little thoughts holes and balloons and whistles. And the elders dressed in the Thunderbirds. They're hanging out of windows like clusters of rice carries waiting for the Considine Wonder Show. Waiting for the Mulligan Circus, you mean. Who said that? Well, that was Mr. Ball what spoke, sir. Step forward, Mr. Ball. Gladly, Mr. Ball. Take off those silks and spangles. You're unworldly. And incidentally, get out of me, Circus. I'll get out when you pay up what you owe me. Oh dear.
Claudius B. Bowers
What about me?
John A. Considine
Three weeks, another dime and less than working out.
Matt Mulligan
Clear on our.
John A. Considine
Yeah, nothing but empty promises.
Matt Mulligan
Silence.
John A. Considine
I gave each and every one of my words that you would be paid every penny. No more, no less and completely. How do you expect to pay us when everywhere we go the Mulligan Circus gets all the business? Well, you're a pretty saint hearted lot. Mulligan's true. I tell you, one more week or so we'll have that bug trotter on his knees begging me to take him back as my partner. Talk reasonable, Mr. Confidantine. There's no use kidding us. What? We've got Jumbo, haven't we? The best loved elephant from here to the High Sierra. That elephant's been fed peanuts by mayors, governors and great financiers from the time there was in store pants. Give this town one look at gumbo and all our troubles are over. Come on now, men, get into your costume.
Claudius B. Bowers
You're holding up the parade.
John A. Considine
There'll be no snap decision, Mr. Delico. This matter calls for a vote.
Claudius B. Bowers
Come on boys.
John A. Considine
The bargaining will be in the cook.
Claudius B. Bowers
Hello, Daddy.
John A. Considine
Hello, Dorothy. You're just in time for the parade.
Claudius B. Bowers
Oh, I'm not going. I have to rehearse.
John A. Considine
Now don't tell me lies, Mickey. There's only one thing that be keeping you here and I know what it is. If I ever catch that Mulligan boy around here again, I'll beat the height off him. Now mind what you're up to or I'll skip you back to your mother.
Claudius B. Bowers
Considine.
John A. Considine
Considine. Let the mellow.
Claudius B. Bowers
Now I have mutiny in the cook tent.
John A. Considine
Mr. Ball's advocating that the men join up with the Mulligan Six Dozen wagon forum. You stay here while I talk them in. F you, Arthur.
Claudius B. Bowers
Who's that fellow sneaking into the tent? He's dressed like a sheep. We haven't any Arabs in this outfit. Hey, Abdul, take off that Turban.
John A. Considine
You wait a second. Pasha.
Claudius B. Bowers
What? Blimey.
John A. Considine
If it ain't Mulligan Stunt.
Claudius B. Bowers
Say, you. Get out of here.
John A. Considine
Just a minute, Mr. Jellicoe. This is a sociable call. You heard me. Now get going.
Claudius B. Bowers
Run along, Jellicoe. I can handle him all right.
John A. Considine
Ms. Considine, would you mind? Your father doesn't catch him here. Mickey, why didn't you keep the date last night?
Claudius B. Bowers
I had more interesting things to do than consorting with a mulligan.
John A. Considine
Ah, take the ice pack off your heart, my little pookie. Mickey, I love you. I'm crazy about you. There's nothing in the world I want except you, Mickey. You're the craziest, loveliest kid that ever shined the earth. I dislike talking to you in this vein because it'll only spoil you. And anyway, it's hard for an acrobat to bother anybody except an audience.
Matt Mulligan
I won't kiss your hand, madam. Crazy for you though I am, I'll never woo. Oh, you unbended knee. No, madam, not me. Let's forget the screen and stage and
John A. Considine
for a change
Matt Mulligan
at Orange. My romance doesn't have to have a moon in the sky why, my romance doesn't need A blue lagoon standing by no man th no twinkling star no hide away nor O star. My romance doesn't need A cavernal rising in Spain or a dam. What constantly surprising reference. Wide awake I can make my most fantastic dream upon me My romance doesn't need a.
Claudius B. Bowers
Oh, no, Matt, I couldn't. I couldn't leave Daddy.
John A. Considine
Who said leave him? We'll take him along, put him in
Claudius B. Bowers
the back seat and let him sing
John A. Considine
those old Irish ballads about how old Casey hit o' Finnegan with the parlor stall.
Claudius B. Bowers
Oh, but I'd have to be missing.
John A. Considine
And who else would you want to be? Oh, come on, my little Reynard mirror.
Matt Mulligan
My romance doesn't have a TR in this time. My romance doesn't need a blue anything like no more of me no twinkling heart no hide away no cross in me My Roman doesn't need A cast of eyes in pain for a dance what constantly surprising refrain Wide awake I can make My most fantastic dream come true My Roman.
Claudius B. Bowers
Look out. Someone's coming. Ms. Mickey, I think you better get young Mulligan out of here. Well, thanks, Jellicoe. Come on, darling. Okay, Mickey.
John A. Considine
Is this a concert? I'm wonder show.
Claudius B. Bowers
Yes, sir.
John A. Considine
If you don't mind, I'd like to pack up a little government literature. Here, here, here, here.
Claudius B. Bowers
Half a moment, lads.
John A. Considine
What do you think you were doing?
Claudius B. Bowers
Packing up them signs on the tent pole?
John A. Considine
There's no advertisements allowed in this tent.
Claudius B. Bowers
What's that? What does those signs say? Auctions. You know who's auctioning?
John A. Considine
Our circus orphans? The United States government. The government for sale in jeopardy for back income taxes. Code 64, Article 13. Yes, but. Shocked me pink governor. There ain't never been no income, not a farthing. This fellow Contradine is the only man in the United States to receive the triple X warning. And he never even answered that. Now, when's it all going to take place, mister? The auction, I mean. At high noon. What, today? Oh, in the name of humanity, sir. Don't start nothing until you've had a
Claudius B. Bowers
cat with Mr. Considine.
John A. Considine
I'll go and find him. The sooner the better. I'll wait here.
Claudius B. Bowers
Where is everybody? Mr. Contraind. Hey, somebody announce me. Tell Mr. Contraind and Mr. Bowers is here. The place is evacuated. Say, have you seen Mr. Kunstrand?
John A. Considine
Not yet. I'm waiting for him.
Claudius B. Bowers
Anything I can do for you, squire? Mr. Kantran has no secrets from me.
John A. Considine
Connected with his outfit.
Claudius B. Bowers
What a query. Here's the robin connected with the springtime as if connected with the twilight. That's how I'm connected.
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Claudius B. Bowers
Press agents for the greater continent wonders. Randy vows indispensable. The math psychologist waiting for Mr. Considine.
John A. Considine
You say business? Yes, a little financial matter.
Claudius B. Bowers
I knew it all. An intuition. I spotted you for a banker the minute I clapped eyes on you. Well, Squire, let me tell you something right off the record. In this quickness of confidence. This purchase is the best investment there is today.
John A. Considine
You can't go wrong buying in on this shoe. Is that so? How's Whitman doing?
Claudius B. Bowers
Well, terrific. The most stupendous cleanup since Ben Hur.
John A. Considine
I'd like to write some of these facts down. If you don't, I don't mind. Now, how did you do in 1931?
Claudius B. Bowers
Not than a year. We broke all records.
John A. Considine
And how about 1932?
Claudius B. Bowers
I'm glad you asked. How lucky of King Branson.
John A. Considine
For instance. How much would you say you made
Narrator/Announcer
in those two years?
Claudius B. Bowers
Well, I should say roughly that the net intake per annum has been in
John A. Considine
a vicinity of 250 grams.
Claudius B. Bowers
You better make that 300,000 to be
John A. Considine
on the safe side. With pleasure.
Claudius B. Bowers
Put down a million for the three years and you'll still be under. I'm telling you, it's a Bunzon.
John A. Considine
Would you care to sign this statement you just made? Why not here of time.
Claudius B. Bowers
Boris B. Bowers. B is for brain.
John A. Considine
Thank you.
Claudius B. Bowers
By the way, Squire, what bank are you associated with?
John A. Considine
The Guaranteed Trust. I'm not with any bank. I understood you to say you were
Claudius B. Bowers
waiting for Mr. Considine on a financial matter.
John A. Considine
I sure am.
Claudius B. Bowers
Who do you represent, may I ask?
John A. Considine
The government.
Claudius B. Bowers
What government? The usa. Well, that's fine. What's the idea of lying to me and telling me you're a leading banker? It smells decent of office.
John A. Considine
I said nothing of the sort.
Claudius B. Bowers
Now that you're sailing under your screw color, what branch of the government do you represent? The inside income tax department of Parisite. A. Blackmail. Well, this time you bumped up against the wrong three. The time has come to make an example of a few of you hawkshaws. Liberally. Give me back that paper I signed.
John A. Considine
Sorry, it's part of the court record.
Claudius B. Bowers
That statement has got on me by underhand methods. Containery. That's the word. Something horrible has happened. The performers are walking out.
John A. Considine
Oh, hello, Mr. Bowers. Really not water.
Claudius B. Bowers
This time he was alone. Mr. Jellicoe, till I crash this matter out. So you're going to auction off this circus, are you? That's your little game, huh? Duping around undermining honest businessmen. Taking them down for money to plant
John A. Considine
trees with at high noon.
Claudius B. Bowers
I warn you, this manner will be
John A. Considine
on President Poozel's desk in the morning.
Claudius B. Bowers
We're paternity brother Sigma Kai. Take the telegram.
John A. Considine
Mr. Jellicoe?
Claudius B. Bowers
Yes. Franklin P. Roosevelt. Where is he at the moment? He's on a yacht. Whose yacht? Vincent Astor. Another Sigma pie on a yacht, huh? Well, we'll reach him with pigeons.
John A. Considine
Oh, this is too horrible.
Claudius B. Bowers
Do something, Mr. Bower. Depend on me. Like the rocket Gibraltar. I'll be back in a twinkling of an eye.
John A. Considine
Misses Jellicoe. Who put these oxen kinds up? I did. Well, you can take them right down and get off these grounds before I go to work on you. You're talking uncle Sam. Now, Mr. Considine, I don't care what your name is. It's Yellico. Hand me that, lady. I've got five men here from Washington. All G men. At noon today we're selling this circus to the highest bidder.
Claudius B. Bowers
What did I hear you say?
John A. Considine
For sale in Jeopardy. Code 64, Article 13 for back income tax. 37 letters have been sent you. That's a political lie. Perjury is only going to make matters worse. Considine, do you know a man named Claudius B. Bowers? Rainy Bowers.
Matt Mulligan
Show me.
John A. Considine
Right hand man and one of the finest, truest hofs in Turkest. He wouldn't lie to us. Mr. Bowers is incapable of lying. That's all I wanted to know. He said you've been cleaning up. Here's a signature to our case if you're interested. Now I'll go and have my men take the inventory.
Claudius B. Bowers
Brainy Bowers. Hello. Hello, Steve. How are you? Listen confidently. This is crucial. There's a guy from the government burrowing around here. Big black hat. Go a little on the stout side.
John A. Considine
You cast that signature.
Claudius B. Bowers
Don't worry about it. It's all fixed. I threatened him with the President of the United States. Then he fold up his corpus. Will stop.
John A. Considine
All I want to know, Bowers, is was you outnumbered?
Claudius B. Bowers
What's that? I said that they get that statement from you by court.
John A. Considine
That statement about me supposed income. He squealed, huh?
Claudius B. Bowers
I diagnosed him wrong. He had all the earmarks of a leading banker. Chief, don't look at me like that. You'll render me useless.
John A. Considine
Kindly keep that big chunk of yours out of me trouble and maybe I can raise my head out of the dust and overthrow me. A pretzel jelly ho. Yes, sir. Go into the menagerie and see that nobody touches gumbo.
Claudius B. Bowers
Bowers, are you still standing there like a pyramid?
John A. Considine
Get back to your post. In fond of the harm's way. It was a black day that I missed you.
Claudius B. Bowers
Where are you going, Chief? Not to the river.
John A. Considine
I don't know where I'm going. But the show must go on. They'll never crush that noble arm.
Claudius B. Bowers
Not while I am at his side.
John A. Considine
You better jump when the chief tells you to jump.
Claudius B. Bowers
I'm not going to fond. No, no. They need me here. Everybody just what they want. No management. What this circus needs is system unification of effort. Why, I got a 5% interest in a little filling station Albuquerque. And it makes more money than this whole shebang.
John A. Considine
Yes, but what's the secret of your success?
Claudius B. Bowers
The secret of my success is no secret. I sell technical fire chief. Anyone who wants to cross the desert and get there, buy it from me. But isn't a 5% interest rather I coincide with that? It may be small, but it's sure. Once a man tries picnic go fire cheap gasoline. He wants it all the time. He becomes a natic. It's that extra power Pepper gives you without any extra charge. Do you know what horsepower is, Jellicoe?
John A. Considine
Horsepower?
Claudius B. Bowers
Yes. Well, technical fire chief has elephant power. It's a jumbo some gasoline.
John A. Considine
Well, I'd try some of that if I had a car.
Claudius B. Bowers
You don't need a car. Anything on wheels will do. Why, I once took a car with the whooping cork. And I gave it one drink of Texaco. And it went away humming like a lark. It's anti knock gas that takes the knock out of your motor. Takes the knockout. Yeah, you ought to rub some of it on your knees.
John A. Considine
Oh, well, Mr. Bowers, I'm glad you'll have something to turn to. We'll be missing you, Mr. Barry.
Claudius B. Bowers
Not so fast, Jellicoe. I never desert a sinking ship. As long as Johnny Crotzine is in trouble. He can rest his burden on my two broad soldiers.
John A. Considine
Well, I'm going to look for Mr. Considine now. And you better be off before I return with him.
Claudius B. Bowers
Brain. Mitchie, where'd you drop from? From direct, Brainy. The stealing. Not yet. I wouldn't let no heartbreak happen to you, Mickey. You think of me as Brainy Bowers. Cold, unscrutable. What a genius for efficiency. Well, there's another Bowers. A dreamer. Just a bundle of emotions. Mickey, if you could look inside my heart. It's a typhoon.
John A. Considine
It's a heart of gold.
Claudius B. Bowers
Solid. Yeah. I don't know what we do do without you, Brainy. What makes me happy just to see you. See, I'm glad to hear you talk like that. A woman who ain't just face crazy. Listen, I know how much you love the cus. And I'll figure out some way to save us from the auction block. Don't tear up, Mickey. Let's see the laugh there's nothing to laugh about. That's when it's time to laugh. You've got to laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh. When things are tattered laughing, you've gotta laugh, laugh, laugh and take it. Philosopher why I remember years ago when you were just a baby, we were playing this furry town. Always a hard luck town for the
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Claudius B. Bowers
Kante won the show. A guy walked up to me and said to you, Brainy Bowers? I says, yes, I'm Brainy Bowers. He says, see Brainy Bowers? I said, sure. And with that the guy hands me a paper. What's up? He why, you could have eliminated me from the Olympic Games. But I laughed. I laughed him right out. The of and only yesterday I was drove into the Foster store, the Boston store in Minneapolis. I was shopping for a hatter, a nice red crabbatter. First filter by Sculpture. Then I strolled over to the chemise department. I don't know why, but there I was in the chemise department, unescorted, a lone wolf, when suddenly I feel the same guy coming straight towards me, saying, now that's the kind of a guy you have. A chemise fancier. A squiddle claw. Be a squiddle squaw. That meant fight. I make the leap for him. I miss him. He makes the leap for me. He connects. Then what do I do? I resorted to gigistic. I grabbed his wrist with one hand and with the other hand I twist his leg around his neck and the first thing you know, I'm flat on the back I kissed up. Kind of off with gathered on restraint. And I was off. Yes, I was off. Off like a toupee in a windstar. But he overtakes me, picks me up and throws me against the wall. I bounce his back, throws me against the wall again. I bounce his back. A hand ball player. But you show him what kind of a guy I was. I gets up and what do I do? I close myself against the wall and bounces back singing Billy, Billy bump you'll baby boy Billy Billy bump your baby boy Billy Billy bump. So McD, whenever you're in trouble, I want you to always remember the password. Pin up own thing and stand the gas to the apocryphian laugh. Ha ha. Feed apocrypha la.
John A. Considine
Don't worry, Mickey.
Claudius B. Bowers
All reports till I return with reinforcements. And if things will start when I'm away and the gas that threatens, remember one thing. Rainy Powers is on the job.
John A. Considine
Where is Mr. Confidine? What can I do for you, Mr. Ball? Very little, Mr. Considine. We're leaving. Well, you're a pretty thing carbon officer walking out in the circus an hour before the oxen. We ain't eating for a week. Nothing but peanuts and popcorn. We haven't got a sir. Boys and girls, I'm a showman. I ain't ever found self said or taught a reasonable thing since I was born. I believe in what my heart tells me. And my heart tells me that no one can take me circus away from me. Are you with me, pooh? Bruce McGuire, you know the rumors as well as the rest of us. Mulligan's rays are backs are laying outside with stakes in their hands, ready to bust the parade to pit. Yeah. So Mulligan's gonna start hitting us over the head, is he? That's an answer to me prayers, boys. I been begging for a stand up
Claudius B. Bowers
fight for a year.
John A. Considine
We're outnumbered two to one, chief. Besides, they've been eating outnumbered and undernourished for more glory. Colonel, we've got Jumbo, haven't we? Hannibal captured carpet with a single elephant half the size of Jumbo. Well, according to all the historians. And you sculpt before Mulligan. Shame on you. Shame on you.
Claudius B. Bowers
Go, go. In power.
John A. Considine
Three cheers for John a Considine.
Claudius B. Bowers
Hoorah. Hoorah.
John A. Considine
It's no use, boys and girls. I'm going out there alone and parading by myself. If you don't follow me.
Claudius B. Bowers
Listen to that music.
John A. Considine
Doesn't it do anything here? When we were thro in the wall when to have us on our knees in resting when we were starving in Amarillo. It was that song that lifted us up and won the day for us. Let's hear you sing it now.
Matt Mulligan
Come on everybody, human fight.
Claudius B. Bowers
Come on men. We'll rock and fall against one in
Matt Mulligan
line, in line everybody.
John A. Considine
The striker is on falling See the clouds falling down expecting to go down the snake, she's the one who climbs the rope Gives me carrion I need a lamp on me look to him, look to lamb Throw your hat in the air for me or any. There. Begin to blast. The violence is raining for 90 years. Sat on the top.
Narrator/Announcer
Undoubtedly Brainy Bowers will work out a plan to save the day.
John A. Considine
Just how?
Narrator/Announcer
Well, we'll find out later. Brainy said fire chief has elephant power. The jumbo of gasoline. Well, that's his way of saying it. And perhaps it's just as good a way as any to describe the extra power of fire chiefs. Brainy knows the people of Albuquerque want fire chief. And that's true everywhere. The Texaco pump is a popular stopping place for gasoline. Why? Because fire chief fully meet United States government emergency specifications for fire engines and ambulances. It's faster, you get more speed out the of it, and yet you pay the same price as for ordinary gasoline. Try a tank full of fire chiefs. Drive with Texaco and save. Louis A. Whitten, speaking for the Texas company, invites you to tune in again next Tuesday to the Jumbo Fire Chief program for further adventures of the Considine Wonder Show. And remember, whenever you hear the siren and bell, think of Pexico.
John A. Considine
This is the National Broadcasting Company.
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Episode: Jumbo Fire Chief Program – (00) The Circus Is In Trouble
Date: May 24, 2026
Host: Harolds Old Time Radio
This episode of Harold's Old Time Radio transports listeners back to the golden age of American radio with the “Jumbo Fire Chief Program,” focusing on the fictional Considine Wonder Show—a traveling circus beset by financial troubles and internal mutiny. With a script by Ben Hecht and Charles MacArthur, original songs by Richard Rodgers and Lorenz Hart, and comedic star power from Jimmy Durante (as Claudius B. Bowers), the show offers a lively, sentimental, and madcap glimpse behind the scenes of a struggling circus family. Financial woes, rivalries, romance, government threats, and classic vaudevillian humor blend to set the scene for drama and musical numbers.
The episode blends broad comedy with warmhearted sentimentality, typified by Jimmy Durante’s unique delivery and old-time showbiz slang. The characters’ camaraderie, the absurd resilience of Brainy Bowers, and the romantic tension between circus heirs animate the show’s themes of loyalty, perseverance, and the enduring magic of live performance.
“The Circus Is In Trouble” is a classic radio program rich with 1930s zest, showcasing the struggles and spirit of a circus family against business rivals, government bureaucracy, and even their own internal mutinies. The story weaves comic hi-jinks, musical interludes, and heartfelt speeches into a preview of more adventurous episodes, assuring listeners that no matter how grim things seem, the show—and the circus spirit—will go on.