
Jumbo Fire Chief Show - (02) Romantic Mix-Up - 11/05/1935
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Narrator
Mexico is on the air. Another episode in the new series of jumbo Fire Chief programs. Presented with the compliments of Texaco service stations and dealers from coast to coast. The men who serve you. Fire Chief Gasoline Texaco Fire Chief the gasoline that meets United States government emergency specifications. We are broadcasting from the sawdust ring of the New York Hippodrome, scene of the most spectacular adventure of the time. An actual audience of 4,000 people is present. The story is written by Ben hecht and Charles MacArthur with original songs by Richard Rogers Rogers and Lawrence Hog. The cast stars Jimmy Durante as Brainy Bowers, Arthur Sinclair as John A. Considine, Blanche Ring as Mrs. Considine Donald Novis as Matt Mulligan, APK as Jellicoe, Ms. Gloria Grafton as Considine's daughter. Mickey Charles Henderson singing Razorback with Bob Larn, soloist and Adolf Deutsch, musical director, all under the personal supervision of Billy. Even though the United States Marshal had threatened to sell the circus at auction to pay off back income taxes, the aerial artists and acrobats are still rehearsing their act, all determined that the show must go on.
John Considine
Rising over and over. The world for seven years I practiced falling on my name for seven years I practiced bouncing on my knee for seven more I fell upon another blame it took that long to make enough over and over again I ripped the snow but told me and oscaloosa apple store chicken here at Cucumber Saratoga and Tioca and McKipty and we play New York to play it in Poughkeep. I have to operate on elephants and demand and when a tiger cub is born I'm in the den I have to treat a leopard when it has no rider and climb a ladder when the giraffe has poncellitis over and over again once again and.
Matt Mulligan
Stop the rehearsal get off the trapeze Take off those costumes we're going to axel off the circus. Are you still talking me footsteps here? Marshall, I thought you'd given me a week to raise the money.
Narrator
Well, your wake us Up. Luckily we found a man in town who'll buy the whole show.
Matt Mulligan
And who can that be, may I ask?
Narrator
That fellow who runs the other circus, Mr. Mulligan.
Matt Mulligan
Mass Mulligan, me former pastor and me blackest bones. Please, Marshall, won't you give me another three hours? If I don't raise the money be then may me wipe and all her fury come back to me.
Narrator
I don't want to be hard on you, Conradine. I'll be here before the show opens. But remember, no money, no show.
Matt Mulligan
It's agreed.
Mickey
Come on then.
Matt Mulligan
That's your pleasion.
Mickey
On with the rehearsal. Hello, Daddy.
John Considine
Hello, daughter.
Matt Mulligan
That marshal is still hovering over us like a vulture.
Molly
Daddy, what would you do to save the circus?
Brainy Bowers
Anything.
Matt Mulligan
I'd walk barefoot through the flames of her dickens.
Mickey
Good.
Molly
Then will you come back to mother?
Matt Mulligan
Oh, no, not that.
Molly
But Daddy, Mother has all the money you'll ever need. If you make up with her, your
Matt Mulligan
troubles are over, missy. You wouldn't understand the female point of view.
Narrator
The man is always wrong.
Molly
What did you quarrel about, Daddy?
Matt Mulligan
Does the name Gladys Quackenbush mean anything to you?
Molly
Gladys Quackenbush? Oh, you mean that rich old gal who once wrote your mash note sign Sunshine?
Matt Mulligan
That's. That's the very one.
Narrator
Gladys Quackenbush.
Matt Mulligan
It was a black day when she came to see me.
Molly
Was she good looking?
Matt Mulligan
Good looking child. I thought she was applying for a job of a human skeleton. But your mother caught me speaking to her. And you know your mother, how jealous she is and what a temper she has.
Molly
In that case, dad, prepare yourself for a shock. Mother is in town.
Gladys Quackenbush
What?
Molly
Listen, Dad, I told her our troubles. She said she loves you and is ready to forgive you.
Matt Mulligan
Your mother says she'll forgive me if she will.
Molly
Dad, she's waiting at the Eureka Hotel three blocks from here. All ready for a second honeymoon. What do you say, dad?
Matt Mulligan
I'll go. Rather than lose me Circus Cement Munigan. I'll take a chance with your mother's temple. Good night or I'm off to the ward.
Brainy Bowers
Mickey.
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Molly
And what is Mulligan's son doing in the enemy's camp?
Narrator
Oh, just looking for his dearest enemy. Cut it out, Mickey. This squabble between your father and mine has nothing to do with us. No, listen, darling. I've wished for so long that there
Matt Mulligan
was no Considine show and no Mulligan show. Only you and me, Mickey.
Narrator
We've got our life to live. They're at the autumn of their lives. We're at the spring.
Mickey
Spring song Old as a hill Young as my love for you Spring song
John Considine
Trembling with THR Played by a band of two
Mickey
new born but on the tree Newborn of me you born only for me. Bring song more than fulfill all of the hopes within you Bring song Old as a hill Young as my love.
Gladys Quackenbush
Oh, quick, somebody's coming.
Mickey
Follow me.
Brainy Bowers
Mr. Constantine. Mr. Jellicoe. Hey, somebody announce me. Here comes Laney Bowers to the rescue like the Marines. And what tweaks me? Violence that sets Travis beyond justice. Hey, Jellicoe.
Narrator
What is it, Mr. Bowers?
Brainy Bowers
Listen, Jellicoe. I didn't know I had it in me. I'm a dual personality. On one side, I'm the master press agent, and on the other, the financial wizard. Listen, I got the solution to the whole monetary question. What is the solution, Ms. Quackenbush? The richest old maiden. Fond du Lac. And she'll be here any minute, miss Quackenbush. Why, Mr. Considine will be furious. He can't stand the sight of her.
Narrator
Don't worry.
Brainy Bowers
His attitude'll change when he sees what she's ready to do for him. Jellicoe, I see you coming into the tent. You better clear out. What for? Your zebra face may frighten a little, Giselle.
Narrator
Ah, well, I'll leave it to your machinations, Mr. Bowers.
Brainy Bowers
But I only hope you don't make a bungle of it.
Gladys Quackenbush
Oh, why, how do you do, Mr. Bowers? I really feel I shouldn't be here.
Brainy Bowers
Why, Ms. Quackenbush, that's blasphemy you've just been here two seconds. And you look like you've been built into the place.
Matt Mulligan
You're as much a part of this
Brainy Bowers
tent as a pole.
Gladys Quackenbush
Oh, but, Mr. Bowers, I don't understand how I can help Mr. Considine.
Brainy Bowers
What? Why, the man is a wreck. He's been walking around incompetent for three years. He's been neglecting a circus, and now the government wants to take it away from him. And all because of a woman. A siren who turns his head. A flake, a coquetti.
Gladys Quackenbush
Why, who is this dreadful creature?
Brainy Bowers
You.
Mickey
What?
Gladys Quackenbush
Oh, it can't be because of that silly little mash note I wrote here.
Brainy Bowers
Yes, that mash note. That. Beautiful, my dear. Every night he takes it out and reads it to me with passion in his voice. Why, since he first throw you that day three years ago, he hasn't even eaten. In fact, the whole circus hasn't eaten.
Gladys Quackenbush
Oh, but, Mr. Bowers, you know very well that as long as his wife is alive, I could never marry Mr. Compstedine.
Brainy Bowers
That's a very good point.
Gladys Quackenbush
You don't think I want to face a woman with hot pepper again?
Brainy Bowers
Why, that Miss Quackenbush. Miss Quackenbush. Keep your shirt. We star. I forgot to tell you the news.
Molly
News?
Gladys Quackenbush
What news?
Brainy Bowers
Well, Mrs. Concertine passed away six months ago. A slight dash of neurasthenia. Phobia. Oh, wow. That was a touching spectacle.
Narrator
A sea ago,
Brainy Bowers
even I wept.
Gladys Quackenbush
Oh, it breaks my heart to hear all this. How soon do you think Mr. Considine would like to marry?
Brainy Bowers
Marry again? That's pretty prosperous. One thing at a time. First he's got to make sure he's got his elephant jumbo. Then he'll get a wife.
Gladys Quackenbush
Well, I won't lend him any money before the nuptial.
Brainy Bowers
Nuptial? Nuptial? Don't provoke me, Miss Quackenbush. If you don't buy this circus, I'll buy it myself. Why?
Gladys Quackenbush
Have you any money?
Brainy Bowers
What a question. What a query. Look at the make of that. Look at the make of the tie. Ignore the suit. Look at the yellow in the hair. I am a big latinotectico company.
Mickey
Indeed.
Gladys Quackenbush
Are you connected with the oil? Well, no.
Brainy Bowers
I own a 5% interest in a Texco filling station in Albuquerque.
Gladys Quackenbush
Oh, why, I thought you were a millionaire.
Brainy Bowers
Madam, I just put some Texaco fire, cheap gasoline in my car. And it rides so smooth and luxuriously. But I feel like a millionaire.
Gladys Quackenbush
My, oh, my. Fire chief must be wonderful gasoline.
Brainy Bowers
It is. You've heard that saying, an elephant never forgets. Use fire chief gasoline and your car will never forget. It's the jumbo of gasoline.
Gladys Quackenbush
Mr. Bowers, I'm interested. I'll invest some money.
Brainy Bowers
That's great. You'll buy the purchase?
Gladys Quackenbush
Why, no. I'll buy your interest in the selling.
Brainy Bowers
Oh, no, Ms. Quackenbury. Mr. Klotznine's Love Goes with the circus, not with the prowling station. Come on, I'll show you Jumbo and all the animals and you'll be trooping with us yet.
Gladys Quackenbush
Oh, Mr. Bowers, you got such spirit and fire in you.
Brainy Bowers
Thank you, thank you. That's the way I am. Though disaster threatens and dark clouds gather overhead I always think of the password Enough for the ass and the cat. The apocryphian laugh. Oh, be a Patriotian man. So this is the old circus, darling?
Matt Mulligan
Yes, me darling White. I don't know what I'd have done if you hadn't come. Murder, probably.
John Considine
But I was wrong.
Matt Mulligan
How can a man feel destroyed looking in the Killarney blue of your eyes with the flag, the hope waving in them and your smile like the sun rising over the cliffs and all get along with your blarney. John Considine. Molly. I mean every word of it.
John Considine
The more I see your God and girl the more I care for you.
Narrator
All those old.
Matt Mulligan
Oh, but you little te you.
John Considine
I love that faith and finger Graceful as a willow tree. Madam, hear my plea. Don't fall down on me.
Matt Mulligan
I that taste so much tiny feet between the twins
John Considine
game I love to touch. Well, watch a little wrinkle. The more I see of other girls and what those damsels do the more and more I care for you.
Mickey
Where's the daughter, Mickey?
Molly
I'm aching for a glimpse of her.
Matt Mulligan
Oh, you'll find a summer about John. And don't forget about putting up the circus money. Our Mulligan will yet have jumbled.
Molly
Now, John, don't you worry. If you keep on behaving yourself, I'll
Brainy Bowers
settle Mulligan for you.
Molly
I'll be right back.
Matt Mulligan
Rainy Bowers, where will you be he?
Brainy Bowers
Congratulations.
Molly
The financial crisis is over.
Brainy Bowers
We're saved. It's a triumph for sound money.
Matt Mulligan
Oh, so you talk to her?
Brainy Bowers
Did I talk to her? Did Demi Task talk to the Greeks?
Matt Mulligan
Did Cicero talk to the Romans?
Brainy Bowers
That's how I talk to her.
Matt Mulligan
I certainly never dreamed he do. She's a fine little woman at Earth.
Brainy Bowers
Chauchie, don't make sentiment with fiance. You know as well as I that she's a pony faced half wit. How dare you talk like that of the woman I love. Your son and Moses.
Matt Mulligan
Fools.
Brainy Bowers
You don't mean to say you really care for that dried up sackle ax? Another word like that night part your hair with us. He loves it. You can knock me down without telling Mignon.
Mickey
Sure, I love her.
Brainy Bowers
I've always loved her. I'm proud of it. I'm stunned. You're no Irishman, Keith. You're an Egyptian. A mummy fancier. What are you talking about? Anyway, I'll be. Miss Quackenbush. Miss Quackenbush.
Gladys Quackenbush
Oh, dar darling, it's so good to see you.
Brainy Bowers
Miss Quackenbush. The loveblood reunited. That's me. The stupid of the Stardust ring.
Gladys Quackenbush
John, I can hardly believe it. After all these years, to find out that you really care for me.
Matt Mulligan
Care for you? Leave this circus or I'd set the
Brainy Bowers
whole menagerie on you. That's just his way, Miss Quackenbush. He's bashful.
Matt Mulligan
Miss Quackenbush, please leave me alone.
Brainy Bowers
I've other things.
Matt Mulligan
I mean mine.
Gladys Quackenbush
Now I understand. John and I want to comfort you. Someday we'll go visit the grave of Mrs. Considine together.
Brainy Bowers
The grave of Mrs. Considine? Power, where do you go? I don't know, Chief. It's getting kind of warm in here.
Matt Mulligan
Ms. Twackenbut, you're a meddling old habitant.
Brainy Bowers
And I want you to know that I never cared for you and I never will. Now, good day to you. She fainted. Was that a way to talk to your soulmate?
Matt Mulligan
No, I didn't mean that to happen. Here, let me pick her up.
Brainy Bowers
I shouldn't have been so harsh, Miss Quackenbush. Are you all right, Miss Quackenbush? Say something to me. He's out cold, pete. Here comes Mrs. Considine unannounced.
Molly
Don and Considine.
Brainy Bowers
What are you doing with that woman in your arms? It's nothing, Molly, me darling. She's just a little saint.
Molly
Oh, I see. Who is she anyway? Oh, it's Janice Quackenbush, the hussey.
Gladys Quackenbush
Oh, what happened? Who is that woman?
Molly
I'm Mrs. Considine.
Gladys Quackenbush
What do you mean by posing as Mrs. Considine? She's dead.
Mickey
Oh, you think I'm dead, do you?
Brainy Bowers
Molly, stop.
John Considine
On the head.
Molly
Hear me talk, Confidant.
Matt Mulligan
You Bluebeard.
Brainy Bowers
Don't ever come crawling back to me
Gladys Quackenbush
again saying you're sorry because I'm looking
Brainy Bowers
on your wicked face for the last time.
Mickey
Goodbye.
Gladys Quackenbush
And as for me I'll personally loan $10,000 to anyone who promises to buy your circus and burn it to the ground. I never want to see you again.
Brainy Bowers
Tell me. Tell me. Did I do something wrong?
Matt Mulligan
Be gone and never talk of me
Brainy Bowers
life again, you bungling fool. Okay, chief, but before I go. In your future relations with women or with the parasite, I want you to remember these words. Say it with flowers, say it with sweets, say it with artichokes, say it with eats, say it with jewelry, say it with drink. But always be careful not to say it with it.
Mickey
Daddy, what's the matter? Where's Mother?
Matt Mulligan
Mickey, everything is lost. She left me for good. You'd better get used to the thought that we're going to lose the surface.
Mickey
Oh, Daddy.
Matt Mulligan
I'm going outside to wait for the master. Maybe I can stay at hand.
Mickey
Oh, what's the use? Sit there and count your fingers. What can you do over your groove and count your little finger unlucky little girl. Love you. Sit there and call the rain falling on you. You may as well surrender. Your birth is getting slender. Why will somebody slender? When I was very old, the world was younger than I as merry as a carousel.
Molly
The circus tense was strong with every
Mickey
star in the sky above the ring I don't know where. Now the young world has grown old. Gone are the twinkle sand. It. What can you do over your feet? Declare and cause your little finger unlucky, little girl.
Narrator
Sorry, Mr. Considine, your time is up.
Matt Mulligan
Just another little while. They put in stickers on all the
Brainy Bowers
animals they faced a number on Jumbo.
John Considine
Jumbo?
Matt Mulligan
Marshall, are you selling him too?
Narrator
We're selling everything.
Matt Mulligan
The ground is stiff from under me feet. But I beg you, don't let them take jumbo from me.
Narrator
Mr. Considine, there are people in the tent. We've got to start the show. Yes.
John Considine
Yes.
Matt Mulligan
Marshall, I. I don't know much about the law. I'm just a showman. Let me go out there once more with Jumbo. Let me gladden the hearts of those men and women and children. Have no fear that you won't be able to sell me up later on. Matt Monigan will always be ready to burn. He's more relentless than the law.
Narrator
Well, I'll grant her one more stay. But the next time I'll auction off this circus in a hail storm if I have to.
Matt Mulligan
Mr. Jericho, Mr. Ball. Everybody enter the ring. Up for the night.
Brainy Bowers
Bring on the Lion King. I will turn.
Mickey
Ladies and gentlemen, the Cradle Wonder show
Matt Mulligan
presents the supreme thrill of the Big Pop Diavolo the death given of the high wire and the pee performing above
Mickey
an uncovered cave of lions.
Matt Mulligan
Razorback very well round about very hot
John Considine
men with the rifles.
Matt Mulligan
Very well, doctor.
John Considine
Set it up boys. Tonight to drill them up. Is still king with full fear of death. He keeps fear of death moving through the air. Diablo first up here. Left Diablo. Uphills will never come who can never compare. A blind and silver light above tense and muscle stride above a sun is
Mickey
in the height of earth.
John Considine
Oh Fairfax Diablo, your 10 letter.
Narrator
Will the circus go to the highest bidder crushing the heart of that grand old showman John a confidant? Or will Brainy Bowers really find a plan to save the day?
Brainy Bowers
Next week will tell.
Narrator
We can readily understand Ms. Quackenbush's desire to buy up Brainy's 5% interest in that Texaco filling station in Albuquerque. Ms. Quackenbush knows the popularity of Texaco Fire Chief gasoline, as do all smart women drivers. Women like the ease with which fire chief starts cars, the greater sustained power which minimizes shifting and makes driving in traffic less of a strain. The reasons is simple. Texaco Fire Chief is emergency gasoline. It meets United States government specifications for fire engines, ambulances and other emergency vehicles. Louis A. Whitten Speaking of the Texas company invite you to tune in again next Tuesday to the Jumbo Fire Chief program for further adventures of the Considine Wonder Show. And remember, whenever you hear the siren and bell, think of Texaco. This is a national broadcasting company. We New York
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to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. Save on family essentials at Safeway and Albertsons. This week at Safeway and Albertsons enjoy eight piece double breaded famous chicken fried or baked dark meat featuring four legs and four thighs for just $5.99 each. Member price available in the deli and sweet red cherries are $2.97 per pound limit 6 pounds. Member price with digital coupon plus 24 ounce selected varieties of fresh cut fruit bowls are $5 each. Visit safewayoralbertsons.com for more deals and ways to save.
Harold's Old Time Radio – Jumbo Fire Chief Show (02): Romantic Mix-Up
Original Air Date: May 24, 2026
Podcast Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
This episode of Harold’s Old Time Radio presents another entertaining entry from the Jumbo Fire Chief Show, a radio comedy from the golden era, full of fast-talking characters, heartfelt songs, and classic slapstick misunderstandings. Set in the bustling world of a struggling circus, the episode “Romantic Mix-Up” weaves together financial woes, tangled romances, and mistaken identities, all amidst preparations for a show that may be their very last if the circus can’t raise enough funds to avoid auction.
"I'd walk barefoot through the flames of her [Dickens]... Good. Then will you come back to mother?"
— Matt Mulligan and Molly ([05:55])
"I've wished for so long that there was no Considine show and no Mulligan show. Only you and me, Mickey."
— Matt Mulligan ([08:48])
"What a question. What a query. Look at the make of that. Look at the make of the tie... I own a 5% interest in a Texaco filling station in Albuquerque."
— Brainy Bowers ([13:46])
"You don't mean to say you really care for that dried up sackle ax?... I've always loved her. I'm proud of it."
— Brainy Bowers & Matt Mulligan ([17:55])
"Let me go out there once more with Jumbo. Let me gladden the hearts of those men and women and children. Have no fear that you won’t be able to sell me up later on. Matt Monigan will always be ready to burn. He’s more relentless than the law."
— Matt Mulligan ([24:34])
"Tonight to drill them up. Is still king with full fear of death..."
— John Considine ([26:03])
The episode blends slapstick humor, sentimental melodrama, quick-fire patter, and rousing musical numbers, all delivered with the lively bravado and rhythm of classic 1930s radio. Each performer leans into broad characterizations, from the blustering Mulligan to the ever-scheming Brainy, creating a spirited and often farcical atmosphere.
As the episode ends, the future of the circus hangs in the balance after a night of confusion and heartbreak. The promise of “next week will tell” leaves listeners awaiting the fate of Jumbo, Mulligan, Considine, and their colorful company—a testament to radio’s golden age storytelling, mixing comedy, romance, and drama under the big top.