Jumbo Fire Chief Show 35-12-10 (07) An Old Fashioned Show

Summary

Podcast Summary: Jumbo Fire Chief Show 35-12-10 (07) An Old Fashioned Show

Introduction

In this episode of Harold's Old Time Radio, titled "Jumbo Fire Chief Show 35-12-10 (07) An Old Fashioned Show," listeners are transported to the Golden Age of Radio, immersing themselves in the vibrant world of circus life before the advent of television. Hosted by Louis A. Whitten and featuring an ensemble cast including Jimmy Durante, Donald Novis, Gloria Grasson, and Arthur Sinclair, the show combines humor, romance, and musical performances to create an engaging and nostalgic experience.

Main Plot: Saving the Circus

The central narrative revolves around Brainy Bowers (played by Jimmy Durante), the charismatic press agent determined to save the struggling circus. The United States Marshal has postponed the auction of the circus, giving Brainy a temporary reprieve. Business has been gradually improving since Brainy introduced new elements—girls and music—into the Tanbach Ring.

However, challenges persist. The circus faces a series of mishaps:

• The fire eater burns his tongue with hot coffee and suffers from insomnia.
• The sword swallower, adhering to a strict diet, refuses to perform, leading to audience dissatisfaction.
• An elephant and a tiger have gone missing, causing panic among the performers and threatening the circus's reputation.
• Financial strain is evident as Brainy contemplates desperate measures to keep the show afloat.

In an attempt to secure funds, Brainy devises a plan to marry a wealthy woman, believing this union will provide the necessary financial boost. His target is Sylvia, the fat lady of the circus, whom he believes epitomizes glamour and charm—a combination of Mae West, Greta Garbo, and Joan Crawford.

Character Interactions and Comedic Elements

The episode is rich with witty dialogues and humorous exchanges that highlight the characters' personalities and the comedic timing of Jimmy Durante. Notable interactions include:

• Romantic Advice Scene ([02:58] - [05:14]): Brainy Bowers offers Matt Mulligan (Louis A. Whitten) unconventional advice on winning the heart of Mickey, Matt’s bashful love interest. Brainy humorously suggests methods like giving a "bird kiss," a "library kiss," and a "fish kiss," showcasing his quirky approach to romance.

  Quote:

  "If you don't believe it, ask Clark Gable. He was on the train too. Don't you know that I could marry the most beautiful women in the world?" — Jimmy Durante as Brainy Bowers ([03:21])

• Circus Planning Scene ([10:19] - [16:22]): Brainy and Arthur Sinclair debate the inclusion of musical and romantic elements in the circus. Brainy’s extravagant ideas for the woodland spectacle, including grotesque portrayals of Hades and comical punishments, contrast with Arthur’s preference for classic, heartwarming performances.

  Quote:

  "The fire eater can't go on with his act. He burned his tongue with hot coffee and insomnia." — Jimmy Durante as Brainy Bowers ([18:06])

• Marriage Proposal Fiasco ([21:17] - [23:27]): Brainy attempts to convincingly propose to Sylvia to secure the circus's future. His awkward and humorous approach, including his struggle with a numb arm and misplaced romantic phrases, leads to a comical rejection.

  Quote:

  "Sylvia, this is the most traumatic moment of my life. I never realized what love meant till I rigged your rag." — Jimmy Durante as Brainy Bowers ([21:19])

Musical Performances

The episode seamlessly integrates musical interludes that enhance the storytelling:

• Opening Song ([01:28] - [02:58]): An uplifting number celebrating the expanded circus, setting a lively tone for the episode.

• "In the Mood for Love" Medley ([06:48] - [10:19]): Performed by Donald Novis and others, this romantic medley underscores the themes of love and longing intertwined with the circus narrative.

• Closing Number ([23:27] - [25:29]): A whimsical song about journeying to the "promised land," adding a light-hearted conclusion to the main plot before transitioning to the end segments.

Production and Direction

Under the supervision of Adolf Deutsch, with musical direction by Charles Henderson and Billy Rose, the episode showcases high-quality orchestration and sound effects that capture the essence of a bustling circus. The attention to detail in sound design transports listeners to the heart of the performance, from the roar of the crowd to the subtle nuances of character interactions.

Conclusion and Cliffhanger

As the episode draws to a close, the tension remains unresolved. Brainy's failed proposal to Sylvia jeopardizes his plan to save the circus, leaving listeners eager to discover his next move. Louis A. Whitten, representing the Texaco Company, hints at future developments, promising more comedic escapades and heartfelt moments in the upcoming episodes.

Final Thoughts

"Jumbo Fire Chief Show 35-12-10 (07) An Old Fashioned Show" is a delightful homage to old-time radio, blending humor, romance, and music to create an engaging narrative. Through its memorable characters and witty dialogues, the episode encapsulates the charm and entertainment value that defined the Golden Age of Radio, making it a must-listen for enthusiasts and newcomers alike.

Notable Quotes:

• Jimmy Durante as Brainy Bowers:

  "I'm the original Don Juan." ([02:58])
  "Zero molasses. Zero molasses." ([22:32])

• Gloria Grasson as Sylvia:

  "I've always liked you, Mr. Bowers, but I don't know what to say." ([21:19])

• Donald Novis as Matt Mulligan:

  "You lose." ([05:18])

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Note: Timestamps correspond to the moments in the transcript where the quotes occur, providing context and authenticity to the summary.

Transcript

[Louis A. Whitten]

Mexico is on the air, direct from the torted ring of the New York Hippodrome. Texaco service stations and dealers from coast to coast present for your enjoyment. Jumbo, the most spectacular theatrical production of a generation. Bigger than a show, better than a circus along the nation's highways. These same Texaco dealers serve you. Texaco Fire Chief gasoline. The gasoline that meets United States government specifications for fire engines, ambulances and other emergency vehicles. Use Fire Chief in your car for better winter driving. An actual audience of 4,500 people is gathered tonight for another exciting, hilarious Jumbo Fire Chief Show. The cast stars Jimmy Durante as Brainy Bowers. With Donald Novis, Gloria Grasson, Arthur Sinclair, APK and others. The United States Marshal has temporarily postponed the auction of the circus. In the meantime, business has been picking up. It's a new circus since Brainy Bowers, the press agent, introduced girls and music into the Tanbach Ring.

[Unknown Singer]

Bus is leaving the country. Ways of hugging the shore. All of Texas from Maine to Texas have never known before Scenes and building and buoy like the birdies above each girl and boy alike sharing joy a light feels and passionate soon be national solid we be not agree than ever one woman Love, it's universal and you don't need a rehearsal. Love is leaving the country. You've never known that love before. Love is beating us on me. There never was so much love. Mr.

[Jimmy Durante]

Powers, when I see those handsome young boys and girls riding and singing in the ring, I feel that you and I are getting old. Getting old? Include me out of that Jellicoe. Why, I'm the original Don Juan. Last week when I arrived in New York, the railroad was crowded with beautiful women. They all came down to the train to greet me, peering and throwing kisses.

[Louis A. Whitten]

Beautiful women came down to greet you?

[Jimmy Durante]

If you don't believe it, ask Clark Gable. He was on the train too. Don't you know that I could marry the most beautiful women in the world? Why, only last year I proposed to Peggy Joyce. Well, why didn't you marry her? Well, Peggy Joyce ain't the marrying kind. To what do you owe your success as a lady killer, Mr. Bowers? Well, I don't want to talk. I owe my success to this little book I bought, Jellicoe. This book is entitled 10 Easy Lessons on How to Win a Sweetheart for 25 cents, 2 for 35. It set that lover's electricity. Well, I don't see any connection between electricity and love. Of course there's a connection. Do you know I got a broken heart from electric bulbs? How could you get a broken heart from an electric bulb? Well, I turned it on and I found my girl kissing another fella. Hey, Mr. Bowers, if you are such an authority on love, you ought to talk to young Matt Mulligan. You know he's in love with Mickey.

[Louis A. Whitten]

But she's very bashful.

[Jimmy Durante]

She's as quiet as a clam. And she never kisses. I see. A sort of a little neck clam. One lesson for me and Matt will marry Mickey before the hour is up. Say, Matt.

[Louis A. Whitten]

Hello, Brainy.

[Jimmy Durante]

Why do you look so downcast?

[Louis A. Whitten]

Well, you know, I. I can't get Mickey to warm up to me.

[Jimmy Durante]

It's the force of the technique. If you was a Romeo like me, you'd take Mickey out on a balcony at night.

[Louis A. Whitten]

In the moonlight?

[Jimmy Durante]

No, in the dark. It's poromatic. If it's dark, you sit there in the dark and you read to her.

[Louis A. Whitten]

What kind of reading can you do in the dark?

[Jimmy Durante]

Lip reading. Now, the first time, you give her the bird kiss.

[Louis A. Whitten]

The bird kiss?

[Jimmy Durante]

Yeah, just a little pet. The next time you give her the library kiss.

[Louis A. Whitten]

The library kiss?

[Jimmy Durante]

Sure, it speaks volume. And the third time, you're ready for the fish kiss. What do you mean, the fish kiss? You never come up for ass.

[Louis A. Whitten]

Well, thanks for the suggestion, Brainy. Here comes Mickey now.

[Jimmy Durante]

Then I'll leave you on your own, Matt. Good luck. And our revolt but our revolt don't mean goodbye Goodbye don't mean our revolt.

[Unknown Singer]

Our revolt Goodbye Goodbye Our revolt Our revolt don't mean goodbye.

[Gloria Grasson]

Seth.

[Donald Novis]

Mad?

[Louis A. Whitten]

Yes, Mick.

[Gloria Grasson]

Isn't it almost time for us to.

[Donald Novis]

Go on and do our bare back act?

[Louis A. Whitten]

No, we've got time.

[Arthur Sinclair]

Gee, you look beautiful tonight, my little pookie.

[Louis A. Whitten]

I'd give anything in the world for one kiss from you.

[Donald Novis]

I'm sorry, Matt.

[Gloria Grasson]

I'm afraid there can never be anything between us.

[Louis A. Whitten]

Oh, but why?

[Donald Novis]

You know why, Matt.

[Gloria Grasson]

Your father keeps trailing our circus. The Mulligan show plays wherever we play, taking business away from us. Your father's one aim in life is.

[Donald Novis]

To ruin my dad.

[Louis A. Whitten]

What has that to do with us, Mickey? I disowned my father, left his circus to join the Considine show just so I could be with you.

[Donald Novis]

Well, that may be, Matt, but.

[Gloria Grasson]

But as long as your father and mine are enemies, I'll never let a Mulligan touch me.

[Louis A. Whitten]

Wait a minute. I've got an idea. I'll bet you a quarter I can kiss you without touching it.

[Gloria Grasson]

That's ridiculous.

[Louis A. Whitten]

Well, if it's ridiculous, why don't you bet all right.

[Gloria Grasson]

I'll bet you a quarter. Now, let's see you kiss me without touching.

[Louis A. Whitten]

Okay.

[Gloria Grasson]

Hey, you punched me.

[Donald Novis]

You lose.

[Jimmy Durante]

I admit it. Here's your quarter.

[Louis A. Whitten]

Would you like to try it again?

[Donald Novis]

Oh, so that's the idea. Well, I wouldn't mind I'm in the mood for love Simply because you're near me, honey but when you're near me I'm in the mood for love Heaven is in your eyes Bright as the stars will wonder oh, is it any wonder Time in the mood for love Wise heart to think of whether this little dream might pace we put our hearts together Know your words I'm not afraid if there's a cloud above if it should rain, we let it but for tonight, forget it and in the mood for longevity in your eyes Bright as the sun will answer who any.

[Unknown Singer]

Wonder find in the mood for love.

[Donald Novis]

My top two Pink of feather this little dream might hate we put our hearts together now we are one I'm not afraid.

[Unknown Singer]

If there's a heart above.

[Donald Novis]

If it should rain we'll let it but for tonight I'm in the mood I'm in the mood.

[Jimmy Durante]

For.

[Donald Novis]

Love.

[Arthur Sinclair]

What is it, Jericho?

[Jimmy Durante]

The new scenery has just been set up in the arena for the big woodland spectacle.

[Arthur Sinclair]

It's beautiful.

[Louis A. Whitten]

Jellicoe.

[Arthur Sinclair]

A woodland scene of the circus. Jellicoe. Let her never put a green light on the trees. Get a moonbeam effect on the benches. Let all the boys and girls of the circle stroll along together and have the band play a love song. Let them play Lover. Now, Brady, what kind of a valley are you going to put on in the circus?

[Jimmy Durante]

I'm doing a valley about Mephisto in the lower region.

[Arthur Sinclair]

A valley about the table.

[Jimmy Durante]

Yes. The valley starts with a terrible picture of Hades. It's horrible to look at 500 girls come out and do a fan dance.

[Arthur Sinclair]

Well, what's so horrible about that?

[Jimmy Durante]

Well, the fans are so big, they cover girls from head to foot. The Hades of it. Then you see the girls waving 500 ostrich fans.

[Arthur Sinclair]

But, Brainy, we can't afford it.

[Jimmy Durante]

Then I'll just have one fan in the middle, and I'll wave all the girls under it.

[Arthur Sinclair]

Tell me, why have you got all those steps leading down into that pit?

[Jimmy Durante]

Those are the seven circles, chief. And in every circle we have different punishments. And every punishment fits the crime.

[Arthur Sinclair]

How does it work out?

[Jimmy Durante]

I'll show you. The devil at this. He is dressed in a top coat. White client, his own tail. Then he starts passing out the punishment. Look over there, Pete.

[Arthur Sinclair]

I see a man tied hand and foot while a goat keeps butting him in the back.

[Jimmy Durante]

He's the fellow who's always asking his friends for cigarettes. Now the goat gives him all the butts he wants. I told you, chief, the punishment fits the crime.

[Arthur Sinclair]

And what's that big boiling kettle over there?

[Jimmy Durante]

Ah, that's where Mephisto throws in all the politicians and grass. And keep pouring a hot brown liquid over them. Why? Because they're used to getting all the gravy.

[Arthur Sinclair]

I've got a better idea for esteem, Brainy. If we're going to put girls and music into the circus, let it be the lovely girls that our mothers were. Let it be music that we all love and remember.

[Jimmy Durante]

What do you mean, Pete?

[Louis A. Whitten]

I'll show you.

[Arthur Sinclair]

It's a production of me own with songs that bring back the memories of days gone by. Memories, the sweetest thoughts that to the human heart. Remember the night, the night you said I love you. Remember? Remember you bowed by all the stars above you Remember?

[Donald Novis]

Remember we found our lonely spot and after I learned to care a lot.

[Arthur Sinclair]

You promised that you'd forget me not.

[Donald Novis]

But you forgot to remember.

[Arthur Sinclair]

Remember.

[Donald Novis]

I.

[Unknown Singer]

Sa you left me alone but till you're my own in my duty.

[Jimmy Durante]

Yes, what is it, Mr. Barrows? Nothing but trouble in the circus. The fire eater can't go on with his act. He burned his tongue with hot coffee and insomnia. The sword swallower went on a diet. The doctor told him he mustn't swallow any more swords. What did he do? He cut down a bread knife and the people want their money back. And one of the men left the cage of the tiger open. Good heavens. What happened? Somebody stole the tiger. You know, things like that wouldn't happen if we went shorthanded. We need funds, Mr. Bowers. That's an undeniable fact. We began to feel a pinch two weeks ago when I had to kill an ostrich for Thanksgiving. How I wrestled with him. It's lucky. I know, Ji Gipsy. But the ostrich would have cooked me. Well, now that you mention it, Mr. Bowers, three days ago, one of the elephants was missing. Say, Sylvia, the fat lady gets hungry too. Oh, what became of Mr. Kennybeck, the rich banker who you said was going to help? Sir. Sir. He's in a hospital, Jellicoe. He had an accident. What sort of an accident? He threw a cigarette butt down an open manhole and stepped on it. Jellicoe, I have been contemplating a desperate step. I'm willing to marry a rich woman to Save the circus. In fact, I'll marry the first woman who comes along. Can you get Gene Howe to pass his way? Well, I think marriage might be a good thing for you, Mr. Baxter. Not for me, Brainy. The Lone Wolf. That's my moniker. But that's how it is, Jellicoe. Man is made of dust. Along comes a woman who's all wet. She touches him and his name is Mutt. Well, have you got any woman in mind? Well, I purchased a matrimonial magazine on credit and I found my SoulMate on page 12. Here's the rat footer. Young lady has a dowry in a lovely house. Wanted a husband to share house with ladies. Newly painted and renovated With a brick front and handsome stoop. I'm anxious, so I take the name and found it. The woman in our circus. Now, is she an attractive young lady? Jellicoe? She's Mae West, Garbo and Joan Crawford. She's all three women. Rolls @ the white one. Go on. Who is she? Sylvia, the fat lady. Oh, well, she's well to do. You know, I own a 5% at the finitechal filling station. And Albaci. That's better than a European title. When Sylvia marries me, I'll take her out my little roadster, and we look over my station. Well, how will you drive her down in that piece of junk? Why, the motor rackle. So it deafens you. I've remedied that, Jellicoe. I've loosened one of the mud guards. So now you can't hit a motor. Well, how you hold that car together is a miracle. It's simple, Jellico. I use fire chief. It's a magic tonic. It's the fountain of youth for automobiles. It keeps everything young. I wish I knew how to keep young. Take a bath and fire chief. Quick, Jellico. Leave me, Sylvia. Fat lady is coming. I see her barging into the tent. Very well. I wish you luck, Mr. Bowers.

[Gloria Grasson]

How do you do, Mr. Bowers?

[Jimmy Durante]

Sylvia, this is the most traumatic moment of my life. I never realized what love meant till I rigged your rag.

[Gloria Grasson]

I've always liked you, Mr. Bowers, but I don't know what to say. I've been very nervous lately. Why, I'm even afraid of my own shadow.

[Jimmy Durante]

I don't blame you. It looks like a crowd is following you.

[Gloria Grasson]

You say the sweetest things, Mr. Bowers. We could become such good friends. Come on, put your arms around me.

[Jimmy Durante]

All right. I'll meet you halfway.

[Gloria Grasson]

You understand, Mr. Bowers, we must first be engaged. If you ask me, to marry you right off.

[Jimmy Durante]

I make your weight, you might chop off £100, but you'll never make my weight.

[Gloria Grasson]

Why don't you take your arm away? Am I leaning too heavily against you?

[Jimmy Durante]

No, no. Only my arm fell asleep. It fixed all over like pins and needles.

[Gloria Grasson]

Wait a minute. Now rub it.

[Jimmy Durante]

Be careful, Tiny, you'll break it.

[Gloria Grasson]

There, is that better? Now, you mind if I rest my elbow on your knee?

[Jimmy Durante]

Not at all. Now, here's where Brainy Bowers, a great lover, gets into action. Sylvia, listen to me. Zero molasses. Zero molasses. Zero molasses.

[Gloria Grasson]

What in heaven's name is that?

[Jimmy Durante]

I'm whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

[Gloria Grasson]

Oh, you're so amusing, Mr. Bowers.

[Jimmy Durante]

Pardon me. Sylvia, take your elbow off my knees. My legs fell asleep.

[Gloria Grasson]

Oh, I'm so sorry.

[Jimmy Durante]

That's all right. Come on, my little Willetta wisp, sit on my lap.

[Gloria Grasson]

Very well, if you insist. Oh, I'm crushed.

[Jimmy Durante]

You smashed the chair and we've detected.

[Gloria Grasson]

Well, it's your own fault, Mr. Bowers. You burnt my feelings terribly and I don't want you ever to talk to me again.

[Jimmy Durante]

Sylvia, I'm sorry I offended you. After all, I was willing to go through with this to save the circus. Sylvia, there's one word from you that would make me the happiest man in the world. Just one word. Sylvia William, marry me. No, that's the word.

[Unknown Singer]

Oh, there ain't no job in Omaha but that don't bother me if there ain't no job in Omaha, there's nothing Kankakee. So we're going? Yes, we're going to the promised land of three square meals are dead Never knowing where we going oh, we don't know where we're going but we're on always if there ain't no steak in Buffalo A man ain't out of luck if there ain't no steak in Buffalo they're taking Geo Puck. Oh, we're going yes, we're going Going to the promised land the sweet nem is a day Never knowing where we're going oh, we don't know where we're going but we're on our way all the elves are mean May in decay But King water cows they all come down to eat you as a prey But King water clouds they all come down to eat you as a rain.

[Louis A. Whitten]

Protect your car against the destructive action of winter. Put antifreeze in the radiator. Certainly. But it is equally important that every mechanical part be scientifically lubricated. The motor oil in the crankcase of your car must flow freely even in the coldest weather. The grease in the transmission and rear end must be of a lighter grade for winter use. Each chassis, part, point by point, should be protected against friction and wear. Make just one stop at your neighborhood Texaco station now and end the problems and worries that so often attend winter driving. Tell the attendant to put your car in shape for winter driving. Have him flush out the crankcase and refill with winter grade Texaco motor oil. For easier starting. Ask for a complete chassis lubrication job and specify Marac Marac, the scientific Texaco lubricant. Scientifically applied, it lasts twice as long as ordinary grease. Tomorrow, start to get more from your car, more from every driving dollar you spend. Drive with Texico and S.A.

[Unknown Singer]

Hold your horse. Here they come that it has so strong. The circus is on for me. See the cloud falling down it's the best going down the circus is on Worry rope See the monks climb the rope in the sea and the o find me a lemonade. Look at that.

[Jimmy Durante]

Rainy powers is a lover.

[Louis A. Whitten]

Well, stranger things than that have happened. Be sure to tune in again next Tuesday and find out just how Brainy plans to save the circus. This is Louis A. Whitten speaking for the Texas Company. The Jumbo Fire Chief program. Tonight presented Circus on Parade, Lover and the Song of the Razorbacks by Richard Rogers and Lawrence Ha with Charles Henderson singing Razorbacks and Adolf Deutsch, musical director under the supervision of Billy Rose. Before we say good night, remember, whenever you hear the siren and bell now think of Texaco. This is The National Broadcasting Company, KSD on W9XPD. The St. Louis Post dispatch. The time 20 seconds until 9 o'.

[Jimmy Durante]

Clock.

[Louis A. Whitten]

If you like delicious corn on the Cob flavor, order the new 1935 pack cob cut corn. Not just a kind of corn, but the registered name of a brand Cob Cut.