Komedie Kapers - #3 Optimists

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: Komedie Kapers - #3 Optimists
Date: May 23, 2026
Host: Tom Post

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Episode Overview

This episode of Komedie Kapers is a cheerful celebration of optimism, featuring a parade of comedic sketches and songs from fictional and archetypal characters rooted in radio’s golden age. Host Tom Post guides listeners through a series of light-hearted routines, musical interludes, and playful banter, all centered around the theme of "the optimist" and the sunny side of life.

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Key Segments, Insights & Memorable Moments

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Setting the Tone: The Optimists

[00:38] Tom Post

• Tom opens the episode by setting a playful, whimsical tone:
  • “For this edition of Comedy Capers is dedicated to that chuckling personality, the optimist. Without him, no luncheon club would be complete and Pollyanna would never have been written.”
• Promises merriment and encourages all to “be optimists.”

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Musical Interlude: Song of Optimism

[02:35] Singer

• A light-hearted love song celebrates finding happiness in simplicity and togetherness:
  • “…we can live...we'll be so rich in our corner and kitchen....preacher, let's run down reacher that we can live our love.”

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Character Sketch: Tony Caroni, the Fishmonger

[03:29] Tony Caroni & Tom Post

• Tony, an exuberant Italian fish store owner, laments declining sales but stays upbeat:
  • “I got a fish store and...about five years ago, I make the big dough...and my wife Marie, she's getting new hat. That's all right. I don't care.”
  • Encourages eating fish for health, happiness, and love:
    • “Eat it the salamon. Eat the mackerel. Eat it the barracud. Go on, eat the fish. And after you eat the fish, that's going to make you feel good...the wife, she's going to catch the os band. And I'm going to catch the fish. But what's the matter? Nobody is eating the fish. That's what's the matter with the country.” [04:27]
• Tom concludes humorously:
  • “Okay, Tony. I'll order a can of sardines right away..." [05:04]

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The Foster Trio: Musical Optimism

[05:22] Foster Trio

• The trio harmonizes about rural love, contentment, and making the best of every situation, even rainy days:
  • “We’ll make hay while the sunshine, we'll make love when it rains...”
• Tom comments on their infectious optimism:
  • “Ah, who wouldn’ optimist after hearing the Foster Trio.” [07:14]

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Comedic Interview: Professor Charlie Lip Leun Lung, Chinese Sage

[07:14] Tom Post & Professor Lung

• Introduced with playful mock-seriousness and faux-mysticism:
  • “The dragon roars, China speaks. The mystic curtains are pulled aside....Professor Charlie Lip Leun Lung. The great lung speaks.”
• Offers faux-Confucian wisdom:
  • “The bright light of Broadway may dazzle, but it is the moonshine that blinds.” [07:51]
• Banters about family size and longevity in marriage:
  • Discusses having “maybe 20” children, and a brother who stayed home every night for 35 years.
  • Delivers a classic punchline:
    • Tom: “Oh, that's what I call love.”
    • Professor: “Yeah, but the doctor, he call it paralysis.” [09:35]
• Talks about sending a "love letter" and “a check for a thousand kisses" to his wife, only to be outdone by an American iceman who "cashes" his check:
  • “She say, very smart American iceman. He cashes your check.” [10:24]

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Character Sketch: Bill Ozark, Young Man of the Mountains

[10:40] Bill Ozark & Tom Post

• Bill draws laughs with tales of hard luck and backwoods philosophy:
  • On his rich uncle’s illness:
    • Tom: "Did the doctor give you any hopes?"
    • Bill: "No, he didn't. He said the old man's liable to linger for a long time." [11:26]
  • On his large wife and a burglar:
    • Bill: "My wife caught a burglar trying to sneak in the house last night."
    • Tom: "Is the burglar in jail now?"
    • Bill: "No, he ain't. He's in the hospital. My wife thought it was me coming home." [11:42]
  • Jokes about his wife’s size (whaling and rain jokes):
    • “She went swimming in the ocean one time...they shot nine harpoons in her before they found out who she was.” [12:12]
  • Distinguishes between “capital and labor” with a one-dollar loan gag:
    • “Now when you lend me this dollar...that's capital, ain't it?...when you get it back, that'll be labor.” [13:07]

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Closing Words

[13:22] Tom Post

• Wraps up with a final note on optimism:
  • “While Bill Ozark says everyone in Arkansas is an optimist, in fact, he says Arkansas leads the world in everything. Why, they even had the depression 20 years too soon. Well, it's been a grand meeting of the optimists, but the is over now. The comedy capers must leave. But we'll be back again soon. And remember, smile and the world smiles with you. Frown and you've got a mother in law.”

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Notable Quotes & Highlights

• On Optimism:

  • Tom Post: “Let's all be optimists. And here we go, smiling merrily all the while.” [00:38]

• Tony Caroni on prosperity:

  • “And my little Rosie, she's a buy the new dress. I don't care too. So right. Plenty prosperity. Easy jump on me everything is all right. But nowadays the people easy no eat of the fish...” [03:34]

• Professor Lung’s wisdom:

  • “The bright light of Broadway may dazzle, but it is the moonshine that blinds.” [07:51]

• Marriage & Longevity Joke:

  • Professor: “No. He stay home every night for 35 year. He no go out. He stay with his wife.”
  • Tom: “Oh, that's what I call love.”
  • Professor: “Yeah, but the doctor, he call it paralysis.” [09:35]

• On Capital and Labor:

  • Bill Ozark: “Now when you lend me this dollar...that's capital, ain't it?...when you get it back, that'll be labor.” [13:07]

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Episode Flow & Style

• The tone is playful, corny, and reminiscent of classic radio vaudeville.
• The sketches play with ethnic and regional stereotypes common in early radio, delivered with an exaggerated, zany flair.
• Musical interludes are upbeat and seamlessly integrated, reinforcing the episode’s theme.
• Jokes and puns are broad, old-fashioned, and good-natured, fitting a vintage family radio show.

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[Optional] Time-Stamped Navigation

• 00:38 – Tom Post introduces the theme of optimism.
• 02:35 – Opening musical performance.
• 03:29 – Tony Caroni sketches on the fish business.
• 05:22 – The Foster Trio musical number.
• 07:14 – Prof. Charlie Lip Leun Lung interview and jokes.
• 10:40 – Bill Ozark’s Arkansas humor.
• 13:22 – Closing thoughts and message from Tom Post.

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This episode is a loving recreation of the optimistic, comedic variety radio shows of the early broadcasting era, filled with lively banter, catchy tunes, and an unflagging belief in seeing the bright side of life.

Transcript

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[Tom Post]

Comedy capers. And your host is Tom Post. Well, here we are, smiling and grinning all over the place. For this edition of Comedy Capers is dedicated to that chuckling personality, the optimist. Without him, no luncheon club would be complete and Pollyanna would never have been written. If all the optimists in the world were laid end to end, it would be because they had laughed themselves to death. Anyway, let's all be optimists. And here we go, smiling merrily all the while.

[Poet or Singer]

But why become when we live on love? Here's my reason and in me reason you'll find my reason when we can live or know we'll be so rich in our corner and kitchen one nation who's kitchen in the house where I will pitch in N Reacher, I'm bound to live. Preacher, let's run down reacher that we can live our love.

[Tom Post]

Thank you.

[Announcer or Chorus]

Thank you, boys and girls.

[Tom Post]

Optimistic days are here again. And to prove it, Tony Caroni will get cheerful for you. Tony Caroni may look like a fasisti black shirt, but he'll send it to the laundry tomorrow. Tony Caroni, brother of Mac a Roni.

[Tony Caroni]

That's all right. That's all right for me. I'm just supposed to speak in a microscope here?

[Tom Post]

That's right.

[Tony Caroni]

All right. Well, lady and gent, I don't want to say too much, but I'm going to tell you what's the matter with the country. That's all right. You see, I got a fish store and I got the business for the long time about five years ago. I make the big dough just like all of the people as I do before. And my wife Marie, she's getting new hat. That's all right. I don't care. And my little Rosie, she's a buy the new dress. I don't care too. So right. Plenty prosperity. Easy jump on me everything is all right. But nowadays the people easy no eat of the fish. What's the matter? You no eat the fish after you eat at the Salomon. That's good for your liver.

[Tom Post]

It make Your liver dance.

[Tony Caroni]

And what I say now is eat the Allah. But eat it the salamon. Eat the mackerel. Eat it the barracud. Go on, eat the fish. And after you eat the fish, that's going to make you feel good. And after you feel good, you're going to look good. And after you look good, the man is going to catch the wife. And the wife, she's going to catch the os band. And I'm going to catch the fish. But what's the matter? Nobody is eating the fish. That's what's the matter with the country.

[Tom Post]

Okay, Tony. I'll order a can of sardines right away and find out if Tony Caroni is right. And now the Foster Trio. Three incurable optimists. They once followed the advice, let a smile be your umbrella. And they all came down with a cold. The Foster Trio.

[Foster Trio]

Telling it to the daisies Take me where the daisies Cover the country lane we'll make hay while the sunshine we'll make love when it rains Take me where the songbirds thrill you with sweet we pray we'll make hay while the sun shines we'll make love when it rains from the hustle and the buzz we'll become a pair of country folks In a little cottage Sitting pretty we'll be Mr. And Mrs. Stokes take me where the daisy Covers the country lane we'll make hay while the sun shines we'll make love when it rains Telling it to the daisies Take me where the daisies who cover the country Lay no wall we'll make hay Wall of sunshine we'll make love when it's waddle oodle o Take me where the song burns Thrill you with sweet free friends we'll make haywall of sunshine we'll make love when it rains from hustle and puff Love the old big footy we'll become a Paris and a bug Whoa In a little cottis and mighty pretty we'll be Mr. And Mrs. Stokes take me where the daisies who cover the country Lay no wall we'll make haywall sunshine we'll make love when it waddle ood love, love when it rains.

[Tom Post]

Ah, who wouldn' optimist after hearing the Foster Trio. Thank you. Thank you, girls. But hark. The dragon roars, China speaks. The mystic curtains are pulled aside. And from the land of love, lotus and laundries come the great Chinese sage and philosopher, Professor Charlie Lip Leun Lung. The great lung speaks. I say, professor, will you translate that into English, please?

[Professor Charlie Lip Leun Lung]

Oh, you're turning English? Yes, you're Confucius. He say the bright light of Broadway may dazzle, but it is the moonshine that blinds.

[Tom Post]

Well, Professor Lung, I understand the Chinese have quite large families.

[Professor Charlie Lip Leun Lung]

Oh, yeah?

[Announcer or Chorus]

Yeah.

[Tom Post]

How many children have you?

[Professor Charlie Lip Leun Lung]

Oh, a small child. Yes.

[Tom Post]

You know, little babies. Yes. Man and girl.

[Professor Charlie Lip Leun Lung]

I think it's all maybe 20. Fly. 20 slick.

[Tom Post]

Well, goodness gracious, don't you know 25 or 26. How many have you?

[Professor Charlie Lip Leun Lung]

Oh yeah, but you savvy. I know. Been at home since last Wednesday.

[Tom Post]

Gee, I bet this stork has walked in and out of your house many a time, huh?

[Professor Charlie Lip Leun Lung]

Oh yeah, you savvy. He walk in so many time and he looking like duck.

[Tom Post]

Well, let's, let's take another branch of the family. Take your mother in law.

[Professor Charlie Lip Leun Lung]

No, no, you take it. I don't want it.

[Tom Post]

No thanks. I have one. Well, how many brothers have you?

[Tony Caroni]

Oh, brother.

[Foster Trio]

Uh huh.

[Professor Charlie Lip Leun Lung]

Oh, here comes

[Tom Post]

how many?

[Professor Charlie Lip Leun Lung]

Yeah, I got a three living and two married.

[Tom Post]

Oh, two married. Professor Lung, I know you're joking. Why, everybody knows that the Chinese are the most happy married people in the world.

[Professor Charlie Lip Leun Lung]

Chinese? Mary people?

[Announcer or Chorus]

Yes.

[Professor Charlie Lip Leun Lung]

Oh, he very much in love.

[Tom Post]

Yeah.

[Professor Charlie Lip Leun Lung]

You have in my blood Sam Lang.

[Tom Post]

Yes, I know Sam. He does my laundry.

[Professor Charlie Lip Leun Lung]

Yes. You know him? Yeah, he come now. He married 35 year.

[Tom Post]

Married 35 years.

[Professor Charlie Lip Leun Lung]

No. He stay home every night for 35 year. He no go out. He stay with his wife.

[Tom Post]

You mean to say that your brother spent every evening at home with his wife for 35 years?

[Professor Charlie Lip Leun Lung]

Yeah.

[Tom Post]

Oh, that's what I call love.

[Professor Charlie Lip Leun Lung]

Yeah, but the doctor, he call it paralysis.

[Tom Post]

We certainly sympathize with him. Now listen, professor, what caused your hurried trip over here to the States and to Los Angeles this last time?

[Professor Charlie Lip Leun Lung]

Oh, your trip?

[Tom Post]

Yes.

[Professor Charlie Lip Leun Lung]

You're sorry. I catch a letter come from my most high born wife in Hollywood.

[Foster Trio]

Uh huh.

[Professor Charlie Lip Leun Lung]

She say she like more money.

[Tom Post]

Yeah.

[Professor Charlie Lip Leun Lung]

You savvy?

[Tom Post]

Oh, I'm savvy all right.

[Professor Charlie Lip Leun Lung]

When I get a letter, I know near blank. No blank.

[Tom Post]

Oh, when you get the letter, you're not near the bank. So what did you do?

[Professor Charlie Lip Leun Lung]

So I sent an icy love letter. Yeah, and the checking for 1000 cleses.

[Tom Post]

A check for a thousand kisses and a love letter. That's mighty night, Charlie. But why should that cause you to rush over here to the state so quickly?

[Professor Charlie Lip Leun Lung]

Oh, you're Sammy. I get another letter from my wife and she say, very smart American iceman. He cashes your check.

[Tom Post]

Well, Charlie Long is right. And as the laundryman says, Suds is live. There is no Soap. And to prove it, optimist though we are, we present Bill Ozark, the young man of the mountains. The original slow brain through Arkansas. Bill Ozark.

[Announcer or Chorus]

Well, Tom, I don't. I'm not going to light this cigar up.

[Tom Post]

Well, it's a pretty good looking cigar you have. What kind is it?

[Announcer or Chorus]

I don't know, Tom. It was burned down past the ban when I got it.

[Tom Post]

You know, though, sometimes I would give my right arm for a good cigar.

[Announcer or Chorus]

Well, I almost lost three fingers getting this one.

[Tom Post]

Well, don't get discouraged. Be an optimist. Things are starting to pick up. Say, how are things at home?

[Announcer or Chorus]

Well, things ain't so good, Tom. You know, that rich uncle of mine has been pretty sick. We had to call the doctor again today.

[Tom Post]

Well, did the doctor give you any hopes?

[Announcer or Chorus]

No, he didn't. He said the old man's liable to linger for a long time.

[Tom Post]

Well, how's your wife?

[Announcer or Chorus]

Well, my wife's kind of unsettled. She caught a burglar trying to sneak in the house last night.

[Tom Post]

Well, is the burglar in jail now?

[Announcer or Chorus]

No, he ain't. He's in the hospital. My wife thought it was me coming home.

[Tom Post]

Your wife must be pretty husky.

[Announcer or Chorus]

Is she.

[Tom Post]

Is she a big woman?

[Announcer or Chorus]

Well, Tom, I don't like to say. You know, we had an argument the other day because I said something about her size.

[Tom Post]

That's wrong. You should never tell a woman she is fat.

[Announcer or Chorus]

Well, I didn't tell her she is fat. She was standing out in the yard and when it started to rain, I just told her to come in the house and let it rain on the lawn.

[Tom Post]

Boy, she must be big.

[Announcer or Chorus]

Yeah, she's pretty big, Tom. She went swimming in the ocean one time. She got out pretty far, and along come one of them whaling boats. You know, they shot nine harpoons in her before they found out who she was.

[Tom Post]

Boy, I bet that made her sore.

[Announcer or Chorus]

Yeah, it did. Made her pretty sore in nine places. Tom, I'm going to ask you here. Don't you think this cigar makes me look like a politician?

[Tom Post]

Well, yes, you do look like a politician.

[Announcer or Chorus]

You know, you got a pull around here. Wonder if you could get me a job as a politician.

[Tom Post]

Well, I don't know. You know, I'll bet you don't even know the difference between capital and labor.

[Announcer or Chorus]

Well, I can't explain it exactly, but can't tell you the difference. But listen, I can show you the difference if you got a dollar on your tongue.

[Tom Post]

I think just about. Yeah. Yeah, here it is. $1. That's yours.

[Announcer or Chorus]

Yeah, well, now, now when you lend me this dollar. Tom, that's capital, ain't it? Yeah, well, when you get it back, that'll be labor.

[Poet or Singer]

Oh, boy.

[Tom Post]

While Bill Ozark says everyone in Arkansas is an optimist, in fact, he says Arkansas leads the world in everything. Why, they even had the depression 20 years too soon. Well, it's been a grand meeting of the optimists, but the is over now. The comedy capers must leave. But we'll be back again soon. And remember, smile and the world smiles with you. Frown and you've got a mother in law.

[Foster Trio]

Sam,

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[Tom Post]

Hey, everyone. Check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?

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[Tom Post]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.

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Anyways, get a [e-mail] or with your local agent.

[Tony Caroni]

Liberty. Liberty.

[Tom Post]

Liberty.

[Tony Caroni]

Liberty.