Komedie Kapers - #5 Moonlight

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: Komedie Kapers - #5 Moonlight
Host: Tom Post
Date: May 23, 2026
Theme: A lighthearted tribute to “moonlight” inspired comedy sketches and musical performances from the Golden Age of Radio.

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Episode Overview

This episode of Komedie Kapers, hosted by Tom Post, celebrates the romance and whimsy of a moonlit night. Structured as a radio variety show, it’s packed with comedic sketches, character banter, and musical interludes—all centered around the theme of “moonlight.” Listeners are taken on a nostalgic journey evocative of the family radio gatherings before the television era.

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Key Segments and Comic Highlights

Opening Monologue

[00:38] Tom Post:
Tom introduces the show as “your favorite radio cocktail composed of equal parts melody and mirth,” setting up the moonlight theme:

"Moonlight, the one light for which we never get a bill on the first of the month. Here we go. Let's go wandering in the moonlight."

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Musical Interludes

Moonlight Chorus

[02:29–03:51]
The episode opens with a harmonious number about moonlight, setting an atmospheric and nostalgic mood. The chorus croons:

"Moon sweet I say moon all the blue horizon... love sweet blue, don't be so high and moon you need to choose. Don’t be so kind."

Foster Trio: "By a Waterfall"

[06:45–09:15]
A sentimental, melodious song performed by The Foster Trio, imagined as "three little sunbeams in the moonlight."

“There’s a magic melody Mother Nature sings to me beside a waterfall. By a waterfall with you."

Tom Post later compliments them:

[09:15] "Very pretty, very pretty girls, that was a Foster Trio getting the moonlight out of their hearts."

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Main Comedy Sketch: Card Players’ Banter

The Debt and Church Antics

[04:05–06:27]
A classic comic exchange between two characters over a card game debt and a series of mishaps at church.

Key moments:

• Money chase: The back-and-forth about unpaid debts from their weekly card games.
  • Card Player 1: "When is you gonna pay me my money?"
  • Card Player 2: "I'll give it to you next week."
  • Card Player 1: "That’s what you told me last week."
  • Card Player 2: "Yeah, and that’s what I’m gonna tell you next week. I’m a man that don’t say one thing one week and then something else the next." [04:35]
• Comic confessional: Stories about being too broke for church collection and misinterpreting Bible stories, such as Noah “came forth”—a pun on “came fourth” place.
  • Card Player 2: "There was three men ahead of him... If you read the Bible, it says, when the ark landed, Brother Noah came forth." [05:31]
• Ham bone gag: Trying to sneak food into church, resulting in a comic misunderstanding with the preacher.
  • Card Player 1: "Take that ham bone and hide it underneath the bosom of your shirt so the preacher couldn’t find it."
  • Card Player 2: "…when the preacher said, 'come forth, brothers, and relieve thy sins from thy bosom,' then what did you do? ... I reached in, took out a ham bone. I said, here, parson." [06:12]

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Bill Ozark: The Self-Deprecating Singer

[09:29–11:31]
A running gag with Bill Ozark, “the original slow brain through Arkansas,” who claims to be a singer—much to everyone else’s dismay.

Highlights:

• Self-deprecating humor:
  • Bill Ozark: "Seems like it takes the moonlight to bring out the bird in me...and there’s nothing like my singing to bring out the bird in the audience." [09:43]
• Failed singing stories:
  • Bill Ozark: "I started singing when the moon comes over the mountain. And the moon turned around and went back." [10:16]
  • Tom Post: "That doesn’t speak very well for your voice."
• “Winning a cup” joke: Bill claims he won a cup for singing—but it turns out his wife threw a cup at his head to make him stop singing.
  • Bill Ozark: "There’s a scar on my head where the cup hit me." [11:22]

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Gilliam & Gailey: Moonlight in the Park Sketch

[12:07–13:31]
A pair of characters, Gilliam and Gailey, exchange jokes about romance, moonlight, and an accidental run-in with the law at the park.

Key Comedy Exchange:

• Moonlit Inspiration:
  • Gilliam: "Boy, that was a wonderful example of a quarter moon. Just a thin slice way up there in the sky. What did it remind you of, Kenny?"
  • Gailey: "It reminded me...that I ought to cut my toenail." [12:22]
• Police misunderstanding:
  • Gilliam: "The judge asked me what my name was and I said, Ken Gillum. Then he asked the girl what her name was and she said, Mrs. Ken Gillum... The officer that arrested us came over and apologized...He said, 'I’m sorry, Mr. Gillum, but I didn’t know that was your wife.' And what did you say to him? I said, 'Neither did I until you turned that flashlight on us.'" [13:10]

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Episode Conclusion

[13:41] Tom Post:
The show closes with the moonlight "fading" and a playful sign-off:

“The moon may not be made of cheese, but we always have prize fighters.”

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Notable Quotes

• Tom Post: "Moonlight, the one light for which we never get a bill on the first of the month." [00:44]
• Card Player 2: "Yeah, and that’s what I’m gonna tell you next week. I’m a man that don’t say one thing one week and then something else the next." [04:35]
• Bill Ozark: "Seems like it takes the moonlight to bring out the bird in me. And there's nothing like my singing to bring out the bird in the audience." [09:43]
• Gilliam: "I said, neither did I until you turned that flashlight on us." [13:19]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |------------|-----------------------------------------------------| | 00:38 | Tom Post's Moonlight Introduction | | 02:29 | Opening Moonlight Song | | 04:05 | Card Game Comedy Sketch | | 06:45 | Foster Trio Musical Performance | | 09:29 | Bill Ozark’s Comedy & Singing Anecdotes | | 12:07 | Gilliam & Gailey’s Moonlit Park Banter | | 13:41 | Tom Post’s Sign-off |

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Tone and Style

The episode is full of playful banter, puns, and old-school family-friendly humor, all delivered in a warm, nostalgic style reminiscent of radio’s golden era. Dialogues are brisk, skits are punchy, and the musical numbers provide a soothing counterpart to the comic routines.

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This summary captures the core spirit and memorable moments of Komedie Kapers #5: Moonlight, giving newcomers a sense of the variety, humor, and charm that define Harold's Old Time Radio.

Transcript

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[Tom Post]

Comedy capers. And your host is Tom Post. Here we are with another edition of your favorite radio cocktail composed of equal parts of melody and mirth, the good old comedy capers. And tonight there is a great big moon shining. The night was made for love and lovers. So we're going to dedicate the show to Moonlight. Moonlight, the one light for which we never get a bill on the first of the month. Here we go. Let's go wandering in the moonlight.

[Chorus/Background Singer]

Good night.

[Tom Post]

Moon

[Chorus/Background Singer]

sweet I say moon all the blue horizon catch them harmonize and love sweet blue, don't be so high and moon you need to choose. Don't be so kind.

[Tom Post]

Well, we said we were dedicating the program to moonlight but judging from the first boys to show up, we should have dedicated it to Midnight. For that's just what they look like. Midnight in a coal yard. Here they are swore and good and they are good.

[Card Player 1]

Come on you egghead. Come on out here in the moonlight and give me my money.

[Card Player 2]

What money you talking about?

[Card Player 1]

Oh you know what I'm talking about. When we got through playing cards last week, you got up from the game owing me some money. Now what I want to know is when is you going to pay me my money?

[Card Player 2]

I told you I'm going to pay you when you're alone.

[Card Player 1]

When I'm alone? Well I'm alone now.

[Card Player 2]

No you ain't. I'm here.

[Card Player 1]

But never mind about you being here. When is you gonna pay me my money?

[Card Player 2]

Oh, I'll give it to you next week.

[Card Player 1]

Next week?

[Tom Post]

Uh huh.

[Card Player 1]

Yeah, that what you told me last week.

[Card Player 2]

Yeah, and that's what I'm gonna tell you next week. I'm a man that don't say one thing one week and then something else the next.

[Card Player 1]

Well, look like your all time doing something wrong here lately. You know I took you to church Sunday night and you fell asleep. And when the preacher got up on the pulpit and said brethren and sister said, the lady ushers will now pass among you. So kindly donate to the church and what you say?

[Card Player 2]

All I said was, I'm very sorry, Mr. Preacher.

[Bill Ozark]

I can't give nothing.

[Card Player 2]

I owe everybody in the neighborhood now.

[Card Player 1]

Yeah, I know that. But don't you think that you owe a little something to the Lord?

[Card Player 2]

Yeah, but he ain't pushing me like the rest of my creditors.

[Card Player 1]

And that ain't all. When the preacher asked who was the first man from the ark, I stepped up there and I said, brother Noah was the first man from the ark. Then you had to pop up there and say, no, he wasn't. Parsons said he was three men ahead of him.

[Card Player 2]

Well, there was three men ahead of him.

[Card Player 1]

If there was three men ahead of him, who was it?

[Card Player 2]

I don't know them boys personally, but if you read the Bible, it says, when the ark landed, Brother Noah came forth.

[Tom Post]

Came forth.

[Card Player 2]

Boy, you stand around here hollering what I've been doing and saying all time, what'd you tell me to do when I went down the aisle of those church with them ham bones wrapped in newspaper?

[Card Player 1]

I told you, take that ham bone and hide it. Hide it underneath the bosom of your shirt so that the preacher couldn't find it.

[Chorus/Background Singer]

Hide it?

[Card Player 2]

Didn't you see me hide it right underneath the bosom of my shirt?

[Card Player 1]

I know, but when the preacher said, come forth, brothers, and relieve thy sins from thy bosom, then what did you do?

[Card Player 2]

Well, what could I do? I reached in, took out a ham bone. I said, here, parson, I. You raise more heck over a little piece of meat than anybody I ever heard of.

[Tom Post]

Well, speaking of raising heck over a piece of meat, did you ever hear the hamburger song? Hidden for the last ground up hour. Ah, but here come three lovely little ladies Wandering in the moonlight. The Foster Trio. Three little sunbeams in the moonlight

[Chorus/Background Singer]

By a waterfall bone. By the waterfall I'm calling you

[Gilliam]

we

[Chorus/Background Singer]

can share it all Beneath the ceiling

[Bill Ozark]

of blue

[Chorus/Background Singer]

we'll send a heavenly day Here where the withering waters play

[Tom Post]

There's

[Chorus/Background Singer]

a Whipple wheel that's calling you By a waterfall he's dreaming too Let the magic melody Mother Nature sings to me Beside a waterfall with you. My daughter Though I'm calling I'm calling you we can share it all Beneath the ceiling of blue Ceiling of blue we'll spend a heavenly day Here where the whispering waters play There's a river wheel that's calling you By a waterfall he's dreaming too There's a magic melody Mother Nature sings to me Beside a waterfall. By a waterfall with you.

[Tom Post]

Very pretty, very pretty girls that Was a foster trio getting the moonlight out of their hearts. And whoa, here's Bill Ozark, the young man of the mountains, the original slow brain through Arkansas. Bill Ozark.

[Bill Ozark]

Well, how are you, Tom? How are you?

[Tom Post]

Well, Bill, I'm just great. Say, what are you going to do to contribute to this moonlight program?

[Bill Ozark]

Well, I thought if I got over here in this moonlit atmosphere, it might make me burst into song.

[Tom Post]

Oh, heaven forbid.

[Bill Ozark]

Seems like it takes the moonlight to bring out the bird in me. And there's nothing like my singing to bring out the bird in the audience.

[Card Player 1]

I'll bet.

[Tom Post]

Then you can sing when you're feeling romantic. Is that the idea?

[Chorus/Background Singer]

Yeah.

[Bill Ozark]

I want to tell you, the other night, my wife and I was out driving, and we come to a little valley with a mountain in the distance. It was so quiet and peaceful there, you know, that I stopped the car and pretty soon the moon started peeking over the mountain. I just couldn't contain myself.

[Tom Post]

How about you started singing?

[Bill Ozark]

I started singing when the moon comes over the mountain.

[Tom Post]

Yeah.

[Bill Ozark]

And the moon turned around and went back.

[Tom Post]

You know, that doesn't speak very well for your voice.

[Bill Ozark]

No, but I got the kind of a voice that speaks for itself. I got a cup for singing just the other day.

[Tom Post]

You got a cup for singing, huh?

[Bill Ozark]

Yeah.

[Tom Post]

Well, have you had any experience singing over a microphone?

[Bill Ozark]

Yes, I have. The other day, I was out to a big picnic, and they asked me to sing over the loudspeaking system. Of course, I didn't know how far, far back to stand, you know, And I asked the audience to help me find the balance. I said, if I ain't loud enough, just motion for me to come up closer. If I'm too loud, just motion for me to get back a little further.

[Tom Post]

I get the idea.

[Bill Ozark]

Well, I started singing, and they started motioning for me to get back. And the more I sang, the more

[Tom Post]

they motioned for me to get back. To get back?

[Bill Ozark]

Yeah.

[Tom Post]

Finally I got plumb back on the

[Bill Ozark]

back edge of the platform and I. They kept waving. I says, for Lord's sakes, ain't a back far enough now?

[Tom Post]

And what did they say?

[Bill Ozark]

They says, no, we can still hear you.

[Tom Post]

I. I thought you said you got a cup of.

[Bill Ozark]

Yeah, I did. You don't doubt my word?

[Tom Post]

No, not at all. But say, I'd like to have you show me the cup.

[Bill Ozark]

Well, I can't show you the cup, Tom, but there's a scar on my head where the cup hit me.

[Tom Post]

Oh, dead. Well, now. Now, tell the truth. How did you get that cup.

[Bill Ozark]

Well, tell you the truth, my wife was back in the kitchen washing dishes, and I went back there and started singing. Yeah, well, my wife went to give me a pat on the head and she forgot she had a teacup in her.

[Tom Post]

Well, anyway, Bill Ozark very kindly refrained from singing his theme song, the Ozone of the Ozarks, for which we may be duly thankful. Now, two young gentlemen who have been out wandering in the moonlight, Gilliam and Gailey, who are firmly convinced that moonlight comes in bottles. Gilliam and Gailey.

[Gilliam]

Say, Kenny, weren't the star numerous last night? Yeah, and there were a lot of them, too. Just skip it. What did you think of that? Beautiful. Oh, I liked it. Boy, that was a wonderful example of a quarter moon. Just a thin slice way up there in the sky. What did it remind you of, Kenny? It reminded me, Ted. Yes? That I ought to cut my toenail. I can tell you're not romantic now. I'm different, Kenny. When the moon is shining, I like to get out in a park. I tried that once, but it didn't work. Ted. What do you mean it didn't work? Well, about a week ago, the moon was shining and I felt all romantic. So I went down to the park. And then what? Well, I was sitting on the park bench with my arm around a girl when a cop walked up, threw his flashlight on us and arrested us. He did? Did he take you to jail? You bet he did. I sure was lucky to get out of it, too. Oh, you got out. Tell me how it happened, Ken. Well, the judge asked me what my name was and I said, ken Gillum. Uh huh. Then he asked the girl what her name was and she said, Mrs. Ken Gillum. Ha ha. Smart girl. I'll see. Then the judge told us we could go. So as we were walking out, the officer that arrested us came over and a apologized to me. He said, I'm sorry, Mr. Gillum, but I didn't know that was your wife. And what did you say to him? I said, neither did I until you turned that flashlight on us. I see.

[Chorus/Background Singer]

Lonely outward mountain. Why do I be on that mountain?

[Tom Post]

Well, it's too bad, but the moonlight is fading. And as they never say in the movies anymore, came the dawn. And with the dawn, the comedy capers leaves you for this time. But remember, the moon may not be made of cheese, but we always have price fighters.

[Chorus/Background Singer]

Sam. Sa. Foreign.

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