
Korn Kobblers 19xx.xx.xx Corn Cobblers Show
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Announcer
Here they are, the famed and fabulous corn cobblers. The band of a thousand gadgets and a million laughs. The band of whom the New York Post said they're absolutely amazing. You ought to hear them. With a washboard, tin whistles, a few dozen auto horns and a smattering of regular frontline instruments, they make the merriest music you ever heard. Here they are with Sweet Potato Polka.
Corn Cobblers Band Member
There's a jolly fellow and Homer is his name who always dreamed that someday he'd have wealth and fame. He bought a nocarena and practiced every day. Then Homer wrote a polka and now you hear him play oh toot toot tootle the Sweet Tater Polka Toot toot toodle the Sweet Tater Polka Toot toot toodle that's all you hear him play. Cause Homer bought an ocarina played it for you. Now.
Announcer
The six members of the Corn Cobblers Band are neither youngsters nor provincials. It has taken years and many miles of travel to bring together a tin whistle from a New Jersey dime store, an auto horn from a California junkyard, a set of sweet potatoes from a Chicago music shop, a washboard from a New York hardware store, and countless cow bells from the necks of contented bovines in pastures everywhere. And it's even more amazing when brought together, they can sound like this.
Corn Cobblers Band Member
Well, thanks for the buggy ride. Thanks for the buggy ride. I had a wonderful time. No smell of gasoline. Just an old fashioned team. It was a wonderful treat to hear the patter of horses beat. My bones were nearly broken. I took it as a joke. It was all new to me cause I was used to riding in a big limousine. But buggy riding loving shirt me any machine. So although I lost my bite. Thanks for the buggy ride. I had a wonder.
Announcer
Someday somebody's going to write a book length dissertation on the music and antics of the corn cobblers. And this historic volume will point out one of the most amazing corn cobbler secrets to success. It's not what they do when they play that counts so much, is what they do and they don't play. The members of most bands set out a two or three bar rest. Not so the cobblers. It's those two and three bar rests that give them a chance to make a graceful leap for instruments across the bandstand. Even when they play a little thing waltz, they manage to pantomime a main street rush hour it. You know, if you think getting a classic cadenza out of a chorus of cow bells is pure luck, you don't know about the corn cobblers Research laboratory.
Corn Cobblers Band Member
Oh, I'm glad you mentioned our cowbells, Alan.
Announcer
Oh, I wasn't thinking of the cowbells in particular, Stan. They're quite ordinary, aren't they?
Corn Cobblers Band Member
Oh, no, Alan. Charlie, the bass player, head of our gadget research department, has visited more dairy farms and cow pastures than any man alive just looking for cowbells.
Announcer
Well, every cow has a cow bell, doesn't it? It ought to be easy.
Corn Cobblers Band Member
Oh, well, we're particular though. Charlie won't accept a cowbell unless it's genuine gurzy. And at least fifth generation genuine too.
Announcer
Thanks, Stan. I'm glad to know the ding dongs provided in Ding Dong Daddy from Duma are grade A certified. That fact really should be in the program notes which describe the opus as the homogenized harmony of everything but the inevitable kitchen sink.
Corn Cobblers Band Member
I'm a ding dong daddy from Dumas. You ought to see me do my stuff. I'm a clean cut fell from Horners Corners. You see me struck, well I'm a keeper cutting cutie. Got a gal called Katie, she's a bit heavy late but I call her baby. I'm a ding dong daddy from Dumas. You ought to see me do my stuff.
Announcer
You may think I'm joking when I tell you a toolkit is as vital to the success of corn cobbler's music as the bass, piano, clarinet and saxophone. Amazing as it may sound, it's still the truth. What I can hardly believe is that every corn cobbler's gadget isn't in a complete state of collapse after a workout like that. Only because of stamina could they reappear. And she was just the sailor sweetheart.
Corn Cobblers Band Member
She was just a sailor sweetheart. And she loved her sailor land. But he left her broken heart first. He was all she ever had. And she still believes in sailor cause she's true to the red, white and blue. And although she's born from the navy yard. Oh, she loved her sailing boy positively.
Announcer
I don't know much about sailor sweethearts, but I do know a lot about this.
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Podcast Summary: Korn Kobblers 19xx.xx.xx Corn Cobblers Show
Podcast Information:
Timestamp: 02:06
The episode kicks off with an enthusiastic introduction of the Corn Cobblers Band by the announcer. Described as "famed and fabulous," the band is celebrated for their unique instrumentation and infectious humor. The New York Post hails them as "absolutely amazing," highlighting their ability to blend unconventional instruments such as washboards, tin whistles, auto horns, and cowbells with traditional frontline instruments to create "the merriest music you ever heard."
Timestamp: 03:03 & 05:06
The Corn Cobblers showcase their musical prowess through engaging performances:
Sweet Potato Polka: A lively polka featuring Homer's journey towards fame, played with an ocarina. The band member narrates, singing:
"There's a jolly fellow and Homer is his name who always dreamed that someday he'd have wealth and fame... Toot toot toodle the Sweet Tater Polka."
(03:03)
Buggy Ride Song: A humorous tune expressing gratitude for a buggy ride over modern transport, emphasizing nostalgia and simplicity:
"Thanks for the buggy ride. I had a wonderful time. No smell of gasoline. Just an old-fashioned team..."
(05:06)
Timestamp: 04:09 - 09:13
The announcer delves into the meticulous effort behind the Corn Cobblers' distinctive sound. He explains that the six-member band travels extensively to source specific instruments:
A notable exchange highlights their commitment to quality:
Announcer (Alan): "Oh, I wasn't thinking of the cowbells in particular, Stan. They're quite ordinary, aren't they?"
Band Member (Stan): "Oh, no, Alan. Charlie, the bass player, head of our gadget research department, has visited more dairy farms and cow pastures than any man alive just looking for cowbells. Charlie won't accept a cowbell unless it's genuine gurzy. And at least fifth generation genuine too."
(08:42 - 09:13)
This dedication ensures that every instrument contributes authentically to their harmonious and eclectic sound.
Timestamp: 06:30 - 11:15
The announcer humorously speculates that future scholars might write extensive dissertations on the Corn Cobblers, emphasizing that their success lies not just in what they play but also in what they don't play. Unlike most bands that adhere to set rest periods, the Cobblers utilize these intervals to perform theatrical leaps across the bandstand, adding a visual spectacle to their performances. This unique approach is likened to creating a "classic cadenza out of a chorus of cow bells," showcasing their innovative blend of music and performance art.
A band member chimes in, further illustrating their creative process:
"I'm a ding dong daddy from Dumas. You ought to see me do my stuff..."
(09:51)
Timestamp: 11:15 - 13:25
The announcer marvels at the band's ability to maintain their instruments' integrity despite their rigorous performances. Emphasizing their stamina, he notes that the Corn Cobblers' gadgets rarely succumb to wear and tear, attributing this resilience to their dedicated research laboratory and unwavering commitment.
Another heartfelt musical interlude follows:
"She was just a sailor sweetheart. And she loved her sailor land... she loved her sailing boy positively."
(12:03)
This performance underscores the band's versatility, seamlessly transitioning from upbeat polkas to more sentimental melodies.
Timestamp: 13:25
Wrapping up the segment, the announcer reflects on the Corn Cobblers' unique blend of humor, musical talent, and innovative performance techniques. He hints at the depth and complexity behind their seemingly whimsical acts, praising their ability to transform ordinary objects into extraordinary musical elements.
Announcer: "It's not what they do when they play that counts so much, is what they do and they don't play."
(06:30)
Stan (Band Member): "Charlie won't accept a cowbell unless it's genuine gurzy. And at least fifth generation genuine too."
(09:04)
Announcer: "If you think getting a classic cadenza out of a chorus of cow bells is pure luck, you don't know about the corn cobblers Research laboratory."
(06:30)
The "Korn Kobblers 19xx.xx.xx Corn Cobblers Show" episode of Harold's Old Time Radio offers a delightful glimpse into the charm and ingenuity of the Corn Cobblers Band. Through a combination of spirited performances, behind-the-scenes insights, and humorous interactions, listeners are treated to a rich tapestry of the Golden Age of Radio's enduring legacy. The Corn Cobblers exemplify the creativity and community spirit that defined an era, making this episode both entertaining and nostalgically resonant for audiences.