
Laff Parade-1934-xx-xx 0029 1st - Solitude (Martha Raye)
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Podcast Host
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Comedian 1
The laugh parade.
Comedian 2
Come on and join our friend in LA we're here to entertain you, to bring you joy and laughing just under what we're after has been a radar and music in with you. Come on, let's go. This is a laugh. Come on, let's go.
Ken Niles
Introducing the drum major of our last parade, Ken Niles.
Comedian 1
Well, greetings and a hearty welcome to our nightclub, folksies. Yes, there's a welcome in every broken saucer, in every cracked cup and every bent fork. A welcome to this nightclub of whimsy and imagination. Now here's a little girl and her partner, Julie. Bring him back alive. Ballou and Bob Carlton. You know, Julie's a little girl with a simply colossal imagination while Bob is her helpless victim. When you hear Julie tell of her exploits as a sportswoman, well, you'll agree that when bigger lies are told, Julie will tell them. Bring em on. Solly Carlton and Ballou.
Julie
Oh ho. Bob, I've been looking all over for you. I wanted to tell you about my new invention.
Ken Niles
Oh, Julie, are you gonna start that again?
Julie
Yeah, but this time. This is terrific. This time I've crossed the umbrella with a homing pigeon. Isn't that good for you?
Ken Niles
That's brilliant. But don't you know a still tongue is a wise head?
Julie
Sure, I know that. I also know that people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw parties.
Ken Niles
Well, tell me something. Did you Ever have an accident?
Julie
No, never.
Ken Niles
You never had an accident?
Julie
Well, a snake bit me once.
Ken Niles
Wasn't that an accident?
Julie
No, you did it on purpose. I was out playing tennis.
Ken Niles
Oh, do you play tennis?
Julie
Well, sure. The last time I played tennis I played so good I made five clubs.
Ken Niles
Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute. You're talking about bridge. Tennis has nothing to do with cards.
Julie
Of course it has. Didn't you ever hear of the tennis Spain?
Ken Niles
You know, last night. Last night I played tiddlywinks and I made a three base hit.
Julie
Oh, is tiddlywinks hard to play?
Ken Niles
No, there's nothing to it. It's a snap.
Julie
You're talking about a crap game.
Ken Niles
You know that. That reminds me. A pair of dice saved my life once.
Julie
Well, isn't that too bad?
Ken Niles
I resent that. Nevertheless, I was up in the mountains and I couldn't get out. And what do you think I did?
Julie
I know you're saying all the music goes round and round.
Ken Niles
No, no, no, no, no. I took a pair of dice out of my pocket and I made a pass.
Julie
Oh, in the mountain I used to play golf.
Ken Niles
You can't play golf.
Julie
I can too. Of course, I don't play good. I don't know how to hold a caddy yet.
Ken Niles
Look, do me a favor. Go outside and let something happen to you.
Julie
No, something terrible happened to me last night. I got lost.
Ken Niles
Well, what's so terrible about that?
Julie
Well, I couldn't find myself.
Ken Niles
Did you look good?
Comedian 1
Sure.
Julie
I looked all over. I was going down the street and I met a girlfriend of mine and I said, have you seen me lately?
Ken Niles
And what did she say?
Julie
Would you believe it? She hadn't seen me for three weeks. Well, then I went home. And what do you think I found?
Ken Niles
I don't know what.
Julie
There I was in bed, reading a newspaper.
Ken Niles
Look, there's one thing more I'd like to ask you. Do you like codfish balls?
Julie
I've never been to one.
Comedian 1
Yes.
Bob
Yes.
Comedian 1
Oh, well, it takes all kinds of people. What can we do about it but go hide in a corner by ourselves? Like Martha Ray over there in that far corner. What's the matter, Martha? Come, tell us all about it.
Comedian 2
I saw it too. Why, you taught me with rehab of you, of days gone by in my son, you hearty with memories that never die. Never die, never die. I sit in my chair filled with despair. No one could be so sad. You, everywhere I sit. And I said, I know that I'll soon go by to hell. In my solitude I pray, dear Lord above, send back my love oh, I sit in my chair filled with despair no one could be so sad Tada, you. Everywhere I sit and I stare oh, won't dance, can't take me to be there Tad it all in my solitude oh, I pray you dear Lord of all send back my love.
Comedian 1
Too bad, Martha, too bad. But don't forget his love that makes the world go round with that worried look. Sorry, folks. Now you've seen them on the stage on the silver screen. And this time you hear them on the radio. Those insipid big game tracker downers, Harrison and Elmo. Although Harrison thinks that the home of the swallow is in the stomach, Elmo is the man who first developed a natural fur coat complete with pockets by crossing a bear with a kangaroo. Ladies and gentlemen, Harrison and Elmer.
Bob
Well, boy, did you get that Kodak I sent you for?
Bud
Oh, yes, son, I got it right here. What you gonna do with it?
Bob
I wanna take a picture of the lion we got here in the zoo.
Bud
Is he a real wild lion?
Bob
Well, no, not a real wild. Say, how'd you like me to make about $25 all in brand new shiny two bit pieces?
Bud
Oh, son, I'm ashamed to enumerate to you the different crimes that I would commit for of currency.
Bob
Boy, I don't want you to commit no crime. No, all I want you to do is pose for me.
Bud
Pose?
Bob
Yeah, pose while I snap you with the line in the den.
Bud
With the line in the den?
Bob
Yeah.
Bud
Listen, son, my name is Bud, not Daniel.
Bob
You ain't afraid to die, are you?
Bud
No, I'm brave from my waist up.
Bob
And from the waist down I have no control. Well, maybe it make you feel better to know that this line is harmless. In fact, he's a pet. Yeah, and I know that he was raised on a bottle.
Bud
Yeah, so was I. But I eats meat now.
Bob
Oh, man, you sure do talk like somebody that's afraid to die.
Bud
No, I ain't afraid. Only I don't likes to lie on my back so permanently.
Bob
Well, you seen that lion out there in that case, didn't you?
Comedian 2
Mm.
Bob
Well, wasn't he old and shaggy looking? And wasn't most of his teeth out?
Bud
Yeah, out about a foot.
Bob
Yeah, well, then he can't bite you.
Bud
Yeah, but son, he liable to gum me to.
Bob
Man. You got nothing to worry about. Cause if anything happens, just tell me your name and I'll tell your mother.
Bud
My mother knows my name. Say, by the way, did I understand you to say that you gonna be in the lion's Den with me.
Bob
Sir, you misunderstood me. Yeah, what am I doing in the lion's den?
Bud
Yeah, well, what am I doing in the lion's den? Boy, you gonna keep talking about that lion and you gonna get me scared.
Bob
Now, if you get scared, I'll tell you what to do.
Bud
If I get scared, I'll do it without you telling me.
Bob
Boy, you don't mean to tell me you run.
Bud
Oh, son, that's. You gonna have to take that up with my landing gear.
Bob
Say, you might be lucky with the lion.
Bud
Yeah.
Bob
Then on the other hand, you might get killed. But what do you care?
Bud
Yeah, what I care?
Bob
You got nothing to lose.
Bud
Well, only my lie, that's all. Well, that's enough.
Bob
I don't ask anymore.
Bud
Well, I couldn't afford no more. Yes, sir.
Bob
Now all you have to do is just step right up and look this lion right in the eye.
Bud
Well, what am I gonna look him in the eye for?
Bob
Look him in the eye and let him know you're not afraid.
Bud
Oh, boy, I couldn't. Wouldn't be so deceitful.
Bob
Well, son, I believe I'd better snap your picture while you going in the lion's cage.
Bud
Yeah, you better do that, son. Cause you'll never focus me coming out.
Comedian 1
Why do these things always happen to me? Well, be that as it may, the five Jones brothers are chanting at their bits, ready to sing for you their own song, special arrangement. Moaning.
Bob
Morning. What shall I do? I can go on like this Cause I'm just mourning for you I'm raving Raving all the day through Life has no chance for me it's just a prelude in blue now won't you come back How I miss you hey Long to kiss you hold you close to me Zo zo Z O baby oh baby what shall I do? I can't go on like this. Cause I'm just moaning for you I can't go. What shall I do? I'm just.
Podcast Host
This podcast is sponsored by Talkspace. You know, when you're really stressed or not feeling so great about your life or about yourself, talking to someone who understands can really help. But who is that person? How do you find them? Where do you even start? Talkspace. Talkspace makes it easy to get the support you need. With Talkspace, you can go online, answer a few questions about your preferences, and be matched with a therapist. And because you'll meet your therapist online, you don't have to take time off work or arrange childcare. You'll meet on your schedule wherever you feel most at ease. If you're depressed, stressed, struggling with a relationship, or if you want some counseling for you and your partner or just need a little extra one on one support, Talkspace is here for you. Plus, Talkspace works with most major insurers and most insured members have a $0 copay. No insurance, no problem. Now get $80 off of your first month with promo code space80 when you go to talkspace.com match with a licensed therapist today at talkspace.com save $80 with code space80@talkspace.com.
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Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Laff Parade-1934-xx-xx 0029 1st - Solitude (Martha Raye)
Release Date: February 8, 2025
In this episode of Harold's Old Time Radio, titled Laff Parade-1934-xx-xx 0029 1st - Solitude (Martha Raye), listeners are transported back to the Golden Age of Radio. The show features a delightful mix of comedy sketches, character-driven dialogues, and musical interludes, all embodying the charm and wit of 1930s radio entertainment.
[01:06] Comedian 1: "The laugh parade."
[01:15] Comedian 2: "Come on and join our friend in LA we're here to entertain you, to bring you joy and laughing just under what we're after has been a radar and music in with you. Come on, let's go. This is a laugh. Come on, let's go."
The episode kicks off with an energetic introduction by two comedians who set the stage for an evening filled with laughter and entertainment. Their playful banter and catchy lines invite listeners to join the "Laugh Parade," promising a series of humorous performances and skits.
[03:21] Ken Niles: "Introducing the drum major of our last parade, Ken Niles."
[03:30] Comedian 1: "Well, greetings and a hearty welcome to our nightclub, folksies. Yes, there's a welcome in every broken saucer, in every cracked cup and every bent fork. A welcome to this nightclub of whimsy and imagination. Now here's a little girl and her partner, Julie. Bring him back alive. Ballou and Bob Carlton. You know, Julie's a little girl with a simply colossal imagination while Bob is her helpless victim. When you hear Julie tell of her exploits as a sportswoman, well, you'll agree that when bigger lies are told, Julie will tell them. Bring 'em on. Solly Carlton and Ballou."
Ken Niles introduces the next segment, a whimsical nightclub scene featuring Julie and Bob Carlton. Julie is portrayed as a spirited young girl with an expansive imagination, while Bob plays the role of her bemused companion. Their dynamic sets the stage for a series of humorous exchanges filled with wordplay and playful deception.
[06:25] Bob: "Yes."
[06:25] Comedian 1: "Oh, well, it takes all kinds of people. What can we do about it but go hide in a corner by ourselves? Like Martha Ray over there in that far corner. What's the matter, Martha? Come, tell us all about it."
[06:46] Comedian 2: "I saw it too. Why, you taught me with rehab of you, of days gone by in my son, you hearty with memories that never die. Never die, never die. I sit in my chair filled with despair. No one could be so sad. You, everywhere I sit. And I said, I know that I'll soon go by to hell. In my solitude I pray, dear Lord above, send back my love oh, I sit in my chair filled with despair no one could be so sad Tada, you. Everywhere I sit and I stare oh, won't dance, can't take me to be there Tad it all in my solitude oh, I pray you dear Lord of all send back my love."
Martha Raye takes center stage in a melancholic yet comically exaggerated musical performance titled "Solitude." Her song humorously portrays exaggerated despair and longing, blending heartfelt emotion with comedic undertones. The repetitive nature of her lament adds to the comedic effect, highlighting the show's ability to merge music with humor seamlessly.
[08:43] Comedian 1: "Too bad, Martha, too bad. But don't forget his love that makes the world go round with that worried look. Sorry, folks. Now you've seen them on the stage on the silver screen. And this time you hear them on the radio. Those insipid big game tracker downers, Harrison and Elmo. Although Harrison thinks that the home of the swallow is in the stomach, Elmo is the man who first developed a natural fur coat complete with pockets by crossing a bear with a kangaroo. Ladies and gentlemen, Harrison and Elmer."
[09:13] Bob: "Well, boy, did you get that Kodak I sent you for?"
[09:16] Bud: "Oh, yes, son, I got it right here. What you gonna do with it?"
[09:19] Bob: "I wanna take a picture of the lion we got here in the zoo."
[09:22] Bud: "Is he a real wild lion?"
[09:24] Bob: "Well, no, not a real wild. Say, how'd you like me to make about $25 all in brand new shiny two bit pieces?"
[09:30] Bud: "Oh, son, I'm ashamed to enumerate to you the different crimes that I would commit for of currency."
...
[11:41] Bob: "Well, son, I believe I'd better snap your picture while you going in the lion's cage."
[11:46] Bud: "Yeah, you better do that, son. Cause you'll never focus me coming out."
This humorous skit features the comedic duo Harrison and Elmo, who engage in a playful dialogue about a lion at the zoo. The conversation is laden with puns and wordplay, such as Harrison's claim that "the home of the swallow is in the stomach" and Elmo's invention of a fur coat by "crossing a bear with a kangaroo." The interaction between Bob and Bud about photographing the lion further exemplifies the show's clever use of language and situational comedy. Notable exchanges include Bud's humorous take on crimes for currency and their banter about the lion's behavior, providing a lighthearted and entertaining segment.
[11:55] Comedian 1: "Why do these things always happen to me? Well, be that as it may, the five Jones brothers are chanting at their bits, ready to sing for you their own song, special arrangement. Moaning."
[12:16] Bob: "Morning. What shall I do? I can go on like this Cause I'm just mourning for you I'm raving Raving all the day through Life has no chance for me it's just a prelude in blue now won't you come back How I miss you hey Long to kiss you hold you close to me Zo zo Z O baby oh baby what shall I do? I can't go on like this. Cause I'm just moaning for you I can't go. What shall I do? I'm just."
Following the comedic sketches, the Jones Brothers deliver a melancholic yet melodious performance titled "Moaning." The song blends elements of blues with humorous self-pity, maintaining the episode's light-hearted tone while showcasing the musical talents typical of the era. The repetitive lamentations serve as both a comedic device and a nod to the sentimental songs popular in 1930s radio programming.
The episode wraps up with a seamless transition back to the show's upbeat atmosphere, ensuring listeners leave with smiles on their faces. While advertisements and sponsor messages bookend the content, the heart of the episode lies in its engaging sketches and musical performances that capture the essence of old-time radio entertainment.
Notable Quotes:
These quotes exemplify the show's clever wordplay and the characters' endearing quirks, contributing to the overall charm and humor that define this classic radio experience.
Laff Parade-1934-xx-xx 0029 - Solitude (Martha Raye) offers a nostalgic journey through the comedic and musical stylings of the 1930s. With its engaging characters, witty dialogue, and memorable performances, the episode stands as a testament to the enduring appeal of old-time radio shows. Whether you're a longtime fan or a newcomer, this episode promises an entertaining blend of laughter and melody that encapsulates the golden era of radio entertainment.