Lassie - I Learned Him

Summary

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Lassie – “I Learned Him”

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode Date: May 16, 2026
Episode Theme: Classic family comedy centered around Lassie, set in the world of radio before television, in a story about a boy, his family, and a remarkable dog.

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Overview

This episode presents a rebroadcast of the comedic radio story “I Learned Him,” featuring Lassie in the role of “Ranger,” a smart collie mistaken for a missing movie star dog. The story highlights the dynamics of a working-class family, their humorous banter, and the adventures that unfold when their son Willie brings home a stray dog who turns out to be much more than he seems.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction & Setup

• [00:33] The show opens with a familiar sponsor message for Red Heart Dog Food before narrator introduces Lassie and Rudd Weatherwise, Lassie’s trainer and owner.
• Rudd Weatherwise shares that “I Learned Him” is being replayed because of its popularity.

2. The Family Finds the Dog

• [01:27] Willie brings home a stray dog from the railroad yard and pleads with his mother to keep it.

• The family debates over the practicality of keeping the dog, given their financial situation.

  Notable Quotes:

  • Willie's Mother: “We can't eat ourselves and we gotta eat a dog yet. Are you nuts, Willie?” (02:19)
  • Willie: “Ma, I'll feed him some way. Honest I will.” (02:26)

3. Discovering Ranger’s Talent

• [03:14] Willie shows off the tricks he’s already taught the dog: sitting up, rolling over, playing dead.

• Willie names the dog “Ranger,” inspired by a famous movie dog.

• The family soon realizes that Ranger is extraordinarily well-trained.

  Memorable Moment:

  • Willie: “In five minutes, I got him doing all kind of tricks. Honest, Peter, the dog is awful smarter than I am.” (03:15)

4. The Twist: The Dog’s True Identity

• [06:05] Willie’s father spots a newspaper announcement about a missing movie star dog, Ranger, with a $3,000 reward.

• The family compares their new dog to the photo and excitedly plans to claim the reward.

  Notable Quotes:

  • Charlie: “But you cannot deny that this dog could save me a lot of trouble if we learned him to go and get the newspaper every night.” (04:17)
  • Willie's Mother (on the reward): "$3,000 for this month. Excuse me, I mean dog." (06:30)

5. Owner Arrives and Confusion Ensues

• [07:23] Mr. Panic (the movie studio representative) arrives to reclaim Ranger and is impressed by how obedient the dog is to Willie.

• Willie demonstrates the tricks, but reveals he’s taught Ranger only to obey him and no one else.

  Notable Exchanges:

  • Willie: “I loined Ranger a couple of tricks that you don't know about.” (08:29)
  • Willie: “He won't go with you. That's one of the tricks I learned him.” (08:44)
  • Willie: “I loin him. Ranger don't do nothing for nobody but me.” (09:07)
  • Willie's Mother: “Unloin him again? You should be as smart as my Willy. You're bigger.” (09:22)

6. Hollywood Comes Calling

• [09:34] Mr. Panic calls the movie studio and is told that, since Ranger only listens to Willie, he must bring the boy to Hollywood too.

• Negotiations with Willie's family ensue, with comic back-and-forth over Willie's “salary” and travel arrangements.

  Memorable Moments & Quotes:

  • Willie: "How's about that? I'm gonna be a holly wooden head." (10:22)
  • Willie's Mother: "When Willie buttons his shirt, his trunk is locked." (11:47)
  • Charlie: "Well, I would say about 200 a week. Huh?" (11:36)
  • Mr. Panic: "Okay, we'll pay it. Pack the kid's clothes and let me get out of here." (11:39)
  • Willie's Mother (on travel): "Ah, Pullman nothing. My willy is good enough to ride in a coach with the rest of the people." (12:01)

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Notable Quotes & Humorous Moments

• Willie's Mother (on cleaning): “But when he does that rollover trick, see that he slides more around on the linoleum. It'll save me from dustin’.” (04:34)
• Mr. Panic: “Those silly little tricks don't amount to anything. Why, why, this dog can read a newspaper.” (08:14)
• Willie's Mother: “Yeah? Then why didn't he read your ad and collect the three thousand slugs hisself?” (08:22)
• Charlie: “Yeah, and not only that, but my uncle used to be a juggler.” / Willie's Mother: “Yeah, and we still got the jug to prove it.” (11:29)

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Important Timestamps

• [01:27] Introduction to the story and main characters
• [03:14] Willie shows off the dog’s tricks
• [06:05] Discovery of the $3,000 reward for the lost movie dog
• [07:23] Mr. Panic arrives to retrieve Ranger
• [09:34] Hollywood calls – boy and dog are invited to California
• [11:36] Negotiations over Willie’s “salary”
• [12:01] Humorous debate over Willie's travel arrangements

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Closing & Takeaway

The episode concludes with the revelation that “Ranger” (Lassie) ends up heading to Hollywood with Willie, poking fun at family negotiations and highlighting the bond between boy and dog. The show maintains a warm, comic tone throughout, rich with quick-witted exchanges. The story both parodies and pays homage to the allure of Hollywood dreams and the classic American family dynamic.

Next episode teaser: Lassie will play the part of a dog named Mike in a Thanksgiving story, “Reprieve.”

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For Listeners

This episode serves as a window into the postwar American sensibility: resourceful, big-dreaming, and humorously practical. It’s a lighthearted, quick-paced tale of unexpected fortune—and a reminder that sometimes, a dog really can change a boy's (and a family's) life.

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Transcript

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[Narrator]

Lassie, the world's most famous dog, and Red Heart, America's favorite dog food, team up for the Lassie Show. Yes, from Hollywood, it's the Lassie Show. Transcribed by John Morell Co. Makers of three flavor Red Heart. And here is Metro Goldwyn Mayer's lovable motion picture star, Lassie.

[Charlie]

In person,

[Narrator]

Lassie is fed Red heart exclusively, and Lassie's vigorous bark, strong body and fine glossy coat are positive proof that Red Heart helps keep dogs healthy and happy. Lassie speaks for Red Heart, all three wonderful flavors. And now, to introduce our story, here is Lassie's owner and trainer, Rudd Weatherwise.

[Rudd Weatherwise]

Thank you, Charlie. And hello, everyone. Well, today, Lassie plays the part of a collie named Ranger in a comedy entitled I Learned Him. Because this story was so well received early in our series, we decided to tell it again. It all started when little Willie, spending a day in his favorite playground, the railroad yards, found a dog and took it home with him.

[Narrator]

Ma.

[Willie's Mother]

Hey, Marty, shut up that banging, Willie, all the time. Banging, that's what I ain't banging.

[Willie]

I'm knocking.

[Willie's Mother]

Only knocking with. Watch your feet.

[Willie]

Look, Ma. Look at the classy pooch. Can I keep Ma? Can I?

[Willie's Mother]

Dog, you crazy?

[Willie]

Oh, Ma, no. He's a swell dog. Honest, Ma. And he follows me everywhere. I'm gonna keep him.

[Charlie]

Huh, Ma? Huh?

[Willie's Mother]

A dog. Here it is. We can't eat ourselves and we gotta eat a dog yet. Are you nuts, Willie?

[Willie]

Ma, I'll feed him some way. Honest I will.

[Charlie]

What's wrong with you shouting, huh?

[Willie's Mother]

See, now your old man wants in on the argument. Who's shouting?

[Charlie]

A dog. I hear you talking. Hey, Willie. A dog, huh?

[Willie]

Hi, Pa. Yeah, here he is. Ain't he classy? Speak, boy.

[Charlie]

He does that when you tell him.

[Willie]

Sure. Watch. Speak, boy.

[Charlie]

Hey, that's pretty good. Well, he talks already.

[Willie's Mother]

Better he should keep his mouth shut. I get tired all the noise around this here place all day.

[Charlie]

Well, bring in the mud. We'll give him a good look at that, Willie.

[Willie's Mother]

Hey, you're not gonna keep that dog.

[Willie]

Come on, boy. Come on in.

[Willie's Mother]

Shut up.

[Charlie]

Why shut up? Remember free speech. You learned the mutter. Do this, Willie.

[Narrator]

When?

[Willie]

This afternoon, Pa. In five minutes. I got him doing all kind of tricks. Honest, Peter, the dog is awful smarter than I am. I don't know which.

[Willie's Mother]

No doubt the dog you take after your father.

[Charlie]

Hey, show me some more tricks you learned to Willie.

[Willie]

Sure. Watch, Pa. Watch, Ma. Sit up, boy.

[Charlie]

Hey, look there. How straight he sits up. Hey. Huh?

[Willie's Mother]

You should sit so straight.

[Willie]

Ah, that's nothing. Watch. Lay down, boy. Now roll over, boy. That's it.

[Willie's Mother]

Now play dead.

[Charlie]

Sh. What do you like?

[Willie]

That's it. Now roll over the other way. Atta boy.

[Charlie]

Now, this is something very, very interesting. This dog here could be used very, very well. He could learn to go and get stuff for you. For me?

[Willie's Mother]

It ain't gonna work, I can tell you that.

[Charlie]

Why not?

[Willie's Mother]

The handle on the pail would hoist his mouth.

[Charlie]

Very well, very well, madam. But you cannot deny that this dog could save me a lot of trouble if we learned him to go and get the newspaper every night.

[Willie's Mother]

Yeah, but first you gotta learn him to climb over the neighbor's fence.

[Willie]

Hey, Ma. Hey, Pa, can I keep him? Eh, Can I, Ma? Can I?

[Willie's Mother]

Okay, okay, okay, so keep him. But when he does that rollover trick, see that he slides more around on the linoleum. It'll save me from dustin'.

[Charlie]

This here dog could be very handy also to go get my slippers. That's if I ever get any slippers.

[Willie]

Hey, and I got a swell name for him. This here dog looks just like that swell moon pitcher dog. So I'm gonna call him the same name, Ranger. See, he likes that name, Ranger this

[Willie's Mother]

much, he looks like a moon picture dog. Willy, stop combing your hair. It's musing up your brains.

[Willie]

Oh, well, he does look like a pitcher dog. Remember, I've been playing with him all afternoon in the railroad yard. Who can stay clean?

[Willie's Mother]

That reminds me, Willie. You got to take a bath one of these days.

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Ma.

[Willie]

Ma.

[Narrator]

Hey, Ma.

[Willie's Mother]

Shut up. What's the matter? You got a job?

[Charlie]

Oh, no, nothing like that. Look, look, for a month now, you remember how what he calls this dog, Ranger?

[Mr. Panic]

He calls him.

[Charlie]

Yeah, after the famous moon picture dog. All right. This here dog is Ranger, the moon pixie dog.

[Willie's Mother]

Stanley, how many times I gotta tell you? You listen too much to them pool balls knocking together.

[Charlie]

Listen to me.

[Mr. Panic]

Look here.

[Charlie]

See in the paper? It says, after a month of secrecy, the disappearance of the famous movie dog Ranger has been admitted by the studio. However, the public is being asked to help find him. A reward of $3,000 will be paid to the finder of Ranger by Hubert Fisk, owner and trainer.

[Willie's Mother]

$3,000 for this month. Excuse me, I mean dog.

[Charlie]

When it says here, you can read it and look the picture. It's him.

[Willie's Mother]

Hey, what do you know?

[Narrator]

Yeah.

[Willie's Mother]

Hey, close the door. He shouldn't be in a draft.

[Charlie]

No. Maybe we should let him lie on the sofa now, huh?

[Willie's Mother]

Oh, no, he'll get all dirty. Put him in your bed

[Charlie]

right away. I call Hollywood to come and bring 3,000, please. Your ma. Ma, we better give this here dog a bath. Look at him.

[Willie's Mother]

Yeah, a bath. I tell you. I'll use that there last bar of perfumery soap I got. Christmas, huh?

[Charlie]

Good, good. Very, very good. I'll go get that.

[Willie's Mother]

So on second thought, plus second glance at the dog, get also the flint gun.

[Mr. Panic]

2000720800 2900. 3000. There you are, my boy.

[Willie]

I can use this tank better.

[Charlie]

I can use a tank best.

[Willie's Mother]

I can use a tank.

[Mr. Panic]

Well, I don't care which of you get the money. All I want is my dog back now. How are you, Ranger? How is the dog?

[Charlie]

He says the dog is great. Only he is now much more valuable than when we got him. My Willie here learned his dog a lot of tricks.

[Willie's Mother]

Huh?

[Charlie]

The kid.

[Mr. Panic]

The kid taught Ranger tricks. Quit kidding.

[Willie's Mother]

Show him, Willie. Show him good.

[Willie]

Sure, Ranger. Speak, Ranger. Sit up. Now lay down. That's it.

[Charlie]

Roll over.

[Willie]

That's a boy.

[Charlie]

Well, now, how do you like that, Mr. Pisk?

[Mr. Panic]

How do I like. Why, you. Why, I taught those simple tricks to that dog when he was a puppy.

[Willie]

Hey, that's why he learned so easy, I bet.

[Mr. Panic]

Why, this dog is almost human. Those silly little tricks don't amount to anything. Why, why, this dog can read a newspaper.

[Willie's Mother]

Yeah? Then why didn't he read your ad and collect the tree Thousand slugs hisself? You'll find out.

[Willie]

I loined Ranger a couple of tricks that you don't know about.

[Willie's Mother]

I tell you that.

[Mr. Panic]

Ah, piffle. Well, I want to out of here before I go nuts too. Now, goodbye now. Come on, Ranger.

[Charlie]

Yeah, Mr. Fitz. It's time to retire.

[Willie]

He won't go with you. That's one of the tricks I learned him.

[Mr. Panic]

What's going on here? Ranger, come.

[Willie]

No use. He won't go with you.

[Mr. Panic]

You holding this dog someway?

[Willie]

Yeah, it's just that I learned him not to do nothing less than I tell him.

[Mr. Panic]

Why, why, why, that's impossible.

[Willie]

Oh, yeah? We'll Take him with you.

[Mr. Panic]

Ranger, you come quick. What have you done to my dog?

[Willie]

How did I know whose dog he is? All the kids in the neighborhood try to make him do his tricks. They get him rolling around on the sidewalk so much he's wearing off his hair. So I loin him. Ranger don't do nothing for nobody but me.

[Charlie]

No?

[Mr. Panic]

What shall I do?

[Willie's Mother]

Unloin him again? You should be as smart as my Willy. You're bigger. Hello.

[Mr. Panic]

Hello. Oh, hello, mister. Mr. Panic, I found the dog. Yeah, he's all right, but he won't come with me. No, no, that isn't it.

[Rudd Weatherwise]

He.

[Mr. Panic]

He knows me all right, huh? Yes, I smell the same as I always did. Sure, I know you're ready to start Ranger's new picture, but the kid's the only one he'll mind. What? Bring the kid along too? But maybe they'll want money. Pay him, huh? How much? As little as possible, but as much as necessary. Okay, I'll try it. Yeah, okay. Goodbye. And so, Mr. Panic, the producer of Gigantic Pictures, tells me to bring your Willie to Hollywood. Now, how about it?

[Willie]

How's about that? I'm gonna be a holly wooden head.

[Willie's Mother]

My little Willie gone away from me.

[Mr. Panic]

Oh, now, now, now, now, madam, we'll take good care of Willie. Put him in a good school.

[Charlie]

No, you.

[Mr. Panic]

You'll be very wise to let him go.

[Charlie]

Now, then, I would say that my boy Willy was very valuable. Hey?

[Mr. Panic]

Oh, not very valuable.

[Willie's Mother]

Oh, no. Make the dog do tricks. Go ahead, make him.

[Mr. Panic]

Okay. How much?

[Charlie]

Well, now, in Hollywood, these movie stars, they make plenty of moolah. I think Willie should get a nice salary every week. Which, of course, you can send to me.

[Mr. Panic]

Now, wait a minute. Willie is going to Hollywood? Yes, but he isn't going to be in the pictures.

[Willie's Mother]

If I know my Willy, he'll be in em.

[Charlie]

Now, you see, like I say, Willie gets his title from us. I used to be in a theater once. You?

[Mr. Panic]

In. In a theater? I don't believe it.

[Willie's Mother]

He did so. He used to sell frozen sweets in the boily queue. Yeah, and not only that, but my uncle used to be a juggler.

[Charlie]

Yeah, and we still got the jug to prove it.

[Mr. Panic]

All right, all right, then. How much for Willie?

[Charlie]

Well, I would say about 200 a week. Huh?

[Mr. Panic]

200 to answer. Okay, we'll pay it. Pack the kid's clothes and let me get out of here.

[Willie's Mother]

Pack Willie's what? Look, mister, when Willie buttons his shirt, his trunk is locked.

[Charlie]

And one more thing. You're going to give Willie free transportation?

[Mr. Panic]

Certainly. He gets free transportation. I'll. I'll put him in a Pullman.

[Willie's Mother]

Ah, Pullman nothing. My willy is good enough to ride in a coach with the rest of the people.

[Narrator]

Well, thank you, Lassie. Tommy Bernard, Martha Wentworth, Ken Christie, Charlie Long and Earl Keane. And now a word from our star. What is it, Lassie?

[Charlie]

Oh.

[Narrator]

Time for Red Heart. Well, now, which Red Heart diet do you want, Lassie? The B diet. Fish flavor. Okay. Well now, which flavor did you have yesterday? The A diet. Beef flavor. And which one will you get tomorrow? The C diet, of course. The cheese flavor. Smart dog, Lassie. You certainly know your ABCs. Those three wonderful flavors in Red Heart dog food, you know Rudd feeds them to you in rotation, A, B, C, so you can enjoy a different flavor at every meal. Feed Red Heart to your dog too. He'll enjoy the variety of those three different flavors. Lassie is fed Red Heart Extreme exclusively. And Lassie's a healthy, happy dog with a strong body and a fine glossy coat. No wonder Red Heart is federally inspected. Fresh, moist meat and wholesome meat byproducts. It is packed with all those health giving vitamins and minerals every dog needs to grow normally, develop sound teeth and bones and resist disease. Red Heart is a complete meal, all ready to eat. Nothing to cook, nothing to add, nothing to mix. Just open a can of Red Heart and serve it to your dog. There's the same fine food in every can. The only difference is in the flavor. Your dog will never tire of Red Heart, not when you feed it to him in rotation. The A diet one day, B the next, and C the following day. Lassie speaks for Red Heart. All three wonderful flavors. Next week, Lassie's going to play the part of a dog named Mike in a Thanksgiving story entitled Reprieve. Don't Miss It. Lassie is presented each week at the same time by John Morell and Company, makers of sea flavor Red Heart. The taste tested food that your dog will enjoy. The health tested food that will keep him in shape. Lassie appeared by arrangement with Metro Goldwyn Mayer, who invite you to see their production of Battlegrounds. Starring Van Johnson, John Hodiak, Ricardo Montalban and George Murphy. The Lassie show is produced and transcribed in Hollywood by Frank Perrin. It is directed by Harry Stewart. This story was by Hobart Donovan. This is Charles Lyon. There's a barrel of laughs on Truth or Consequences tonight on nb.

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