Life of Riley 44-12-03 (047)Most Popular Boy

Summary

Harold's Old Time Radio Episode Summary

Title: Life of Riley 44-12-03 (047) Most Popular Boy
Release Date: April 21, 2025
Host/Author: Harold's Old Time Radio
Description: Dive into the charming antics of the Riley family during the Golden Age of Radio. This episode centers around Junior Riley's quest to secure a date for the school dance, leading to humorous misunderstandings and heartfelt moments.

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1. Introduction to the Riley Family Dynamics

The episode begins with a nostalgic introduction of William Bendix, who sets the stage for the story. William Ben Vicks introduces William Bendix as Hollywood's "magnificent mug," hinting at the comedic prowess Bendix brings to the role of Ken Riley, Junior's overzealous father.

2. The Debate Over the "Most Popular Boy"

At the Los Angeles Aircraft plant, where Junior Riley works as a riveter, Ken Riley engages in his usual friendly banter with his coworker, Jim Gillis. The central topic of their debate is who has the "most popular boy" in John J. Boscowitz Junior High School—Jim's son, Egg Bite Gillis, or Ken's own son, Junior Riley.

• Ken Riley: "It's wonderful what fathers will do for their children. They'll even commit perjury." [02:31]
• Jim Gillis: "My boy Egg Bite is the most popular boy in the John J. Boscowitz Junior High School." [02:20]

This playful rivalry sets the foundation for the ensuing conflict, showcasing Ken's competitive nature and deep affection for his son.

3. Junior's Dilemma: Asking Marilyn to the Dance

The heart of the episode revolves around Junior Riley's struggle to ask Marilyn Morris, the most popular girl in school, to the upcoming dance. Ken, determined to help his son succeed, takes matters into his own hands by phoning Marilyn under the guise of being Junior's friend.

• Junior Riley: "I've been thinking things over and I'm gonna take your advice. I'm phoning Marilyn right away." [12:52]

However, Ken's well-intentioned interference backfires, leading to Marilyn's disapproval and strained relations between Junior and his father.

4. Consequences of Ken's Intervention

Marilyn refuses to speak to Junior after the mishap, and Junior becomes estranged from his father.

• Ken Riley: "Junior will call for you 8:00 Saturday night." [22:22]
• Marilyn Morris: "Junior Riley. Well, you've certainly got your nerve calling me. You ought to be ashamed." [13:16]

The tension escalates as Ken grapples with the fallout of his actions, realizing the unintended harm caused to his son's social life.

5. Seeking Advice from Digger Odell

In a moment of despair, Ken confides in his friend, Digger Odell, who offers sage advice on rectifying the situation.

• Digger Odell: "Riley, go to this girl and confess everything. Then she'll forgive Junior." [18:27]

Inspired by Odell's counsel, Ken decides to approach Marilyn directly to mend fences.

6. The Climax: Ken Confronts Marilyn

Ken's attempt to speak privately with Marilyn unfolds humorously as he fumbles through introductions, revealing his true identity and Junior's predicament.

• Ken Riley: "I'm the drip." [21:47]
• Marilyn Morris: "Junior Riley. Well, you've certainly got your nerve calling me." [21:14]

Despite the awkward encounter, Ken manages to apologize, leading Marilyn to forgive Junior and accept his invitation to the dance.

7. Resolution and Reconciliation

With Marilyn's acceptance, the Rileys celebrate the successful reunion between father and son. Junior overcomes his nervousness, and Ken's persistent efforts culminate in a heartwarming resolution.

• Junior Riley: "It's silly to be scared of girls. I'll show you I got nerves." [13:03]
• Ken Riley: "You just leave Junior alone. He'll be okay with me." [22:37]

The episode concludes with a light-hearted interaction as Jim Gillis arrives to offer Junior a ride to the dance, highlighting the restored harmony within the Riley household.

8. Notable Quotes Throughout the Episode

• Ken Riley on Fatherhood: "It's wonderful what fathers will do for their children. They'll even commit perjury." [02:31]
• Jim Gillis on Egg Bite: "My boy Egg Bite is the most popular boy in the John J. Boscowitz Junior High School." [02:20]
• Junior Riley on Overcoming Fear: "It's silly to be scared of girls. I'll show you I got nerves." [13:03]
• Digger Odell's Advice: "Riley, go to this girl and confess everything. Then she'll forgive Junior." [18:27]
• Ken Riley's Determination: "All right, then. Good night. I'll cheer up Junior." [23:15]

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9. Conclusion

"Most Popular Boy" masterfully blends humor with heartfelt moments, portraying the universal challenges of adolescence and parental guidance. Through Ken Riley's earnest, albeit misguided, efforts to support his son, the episode underscores themes of communication, understanding, and the importance of letting children navigate their own social landscapes.

For those who haven't listened, this episode offers a delightful glimpse into family dynamics and the comedic hurdles of teenage life during the Golden Age of Radio.

Transcript

[William Bendix]

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[Ken Niles]

This is exclusive furniture where low prices live and better sleep begins every day.

[William Bendix]

See store for details.

[William Ben Vicks]

Here he is, folks. You laughed with him when he played the Marine in the movie Wake Island. And soon you'll see him in two years before the mast. He's Hollywood's magnificent mug.

[Ken Niles]

Well, I may not have looks, but I got brains. Why, I got brains in my head that I never even used yet.

[William Ben Vicks]

The American Meat Institute presents William Ben Vicks in the Life of Riley. The meat people of America. Providing a great food for a great nation. Three years ago this week, Pearl Harbor. Three years ago this week, the meat industry was called on to rush more than a million pounds of meat to San Francisco docks to replace supplies destroyed by the Japs. It was on its way in eight hours. That was meat's declaration of war. America and meat has been in the fight ever since. And now, on behalf of all those engaged in supplying meat to the nation, the American Meat Institute presents the Life of Riley. Well, it's lunchtime at the Los Angeles Aircraft plant where Chester A. Riley employs his talents as a riveter. At the moment, Riley's own private debating club is in session. The members being Riley and his co worker Jim Gillis. And the topic for today is their usual one, the respective virtues of their sons.

[Ken Niles]

Say that again, Gillis.

[Jim Gillis]

Okay, but I already said it four times. My boy Egg bite is the most popular boy in the John J. Boscowitz Junior High School.

[Ken Niles]

It's wonderful what fathers will do for their children. They'll even commit perjury.

[Jim Gillis]

Listen, Riley, are you insinuating that I am distorting the facts?

[Ken Niles]

Oh, I wouldn't go that far, Gillis. You're. You're just allergic to telling the truth. Listen, once and for all, how can your boy be the most popular boy in the John J. Boskowitz Junior High School when my boy also goes to that school? Quit.

[Jim Gillis]

What do you mean quit?

[Ken Niles]

Well, that's a geometry term. QED Quid. Means I just proved you're wrong.

[Jim Gillis]

I ain't talking geometry. I'm talking my boy. Egg boy.

[William Ben Vicks]

This one.

[Ken Niles]

What makes you so sure your egg bird is the most popular?

[Jim Gillis]

What makes you so sure, your Junior is the most popular.

[Ken Niles]

Don't change the subject. I asked you a question.

[Jim Gillis]

Okay, I'll answer.

[Ken Niles]

All right.

[Jim Gillis]

In the first place, you got to admit that my Egg Bite is good looking.

[Ken Niles]

Honest, Gillis, your boy ain't good looking. You're just used to him.

[Jim Gillis]

I ain't used to him. He's good looking.

[Ken Niles]

Well, if your Egbert is good looking, it's thanks to my Junior. He straightened out his teeth for him.

[Jim Gillis]

Now, don't get sore, Riley. This is just a friendly discussion. He's certainly better looking than your kid.

[Ken Niles]

Gillis, you're just pretty Juice. How can you say Egbert is prettier than Junior when Junior inherited his looks from a very handsome man?

[Jim Gillis]

Oh, I thought you were his father.

[Ken Niles]

Very funny. Very funny.

[Jim Gillis]

Okay, I'll give you a break, Riley. We'll call it a time. After all, in boys, looks ain't everything. My Egg Bite is also smart as a whip.

[Ken Niles]

Well, maybe he is, but I never met a whip that did anything clever. My Junior is smarter than a whip.

[Jim Gillis]

And my Egg Bite ain't only popular with the pupils. Once he even had tea at the principal's house.

[Ken Niles]

Well, my boy doesn't drink, only milky.

[Jim Gillis]

You're gonna be stubborn, huh? Riding. Okay, now I'll prove to you Egg Bite's the most popular.

[Ken Niles]

Go ahead. I'm listening with a closed mind. But remember, when it comes to popularity, my boy Junior was just re elected president of his club for a fourth term.

[Jim Gillis]

Well, maybe so, but hear me out. You heard about the pre Christmas dance the school has given?

[Ken Niles]

Yeah, Only this year they're having it before Christmas. My Junior's going.

[Jim Gillis]

Well, so is my Egg Bite. Now tell me, Riley, ever hear of a little girl in the eighth grade by the name of Marilyn Morris?

[Ken Niles]

Well, sure. My Junior's got a big crush on her.

[Jim Gillis]

She's very popular, and all the boys is. Diana take her to the dance, huh?

[Ken Niles]

That's right.

[Jim Gillis]

So it figures the boy she goes with must be the most popular. You agree we should. Now I got. I'll bet you Marilyn will go with my Egg Bite to the dance.

[Ken Niles]

She will not. I'll bet you she'll go with my Junior.

[Jim Gillis]

We'll see.

[Ken Niles]

Hello, Junior.

[Junior Riley]

Hello, Pop.

[Ken Niles]

I see you're playing with your chemistry setter.

[Junior Riley]

Oh, I'm not playing, Papa. I'm making an experiment.

[Ken Niles]

Well, watch out you don't stain the wallpaper. When we rented this house, the landlady took inventory and counted all the spots on the wall. What are you trying to do?

[Junior Riley]

Anyway, well, I'm trying to combine the sodium in this test tube with the chlorine in this retort to make NaCl salt.

[Ken Niles]

What kind of an education are you getting? Since when does N, A, C L spell Salt? That spells Nacal.

[Junior Riley]

NaCl is a chemical symbol for salt. Sodium chloride.

[Ken Niles]

Junior, salt is okay, but. But haven't you got something important to do? Like. Like making an important phone call?

[Junior Riley]

I don't have to make any phone calls.

[Ken Niles]

Well. Oh, well, then you've already asked her to go to your school dance.

[Junior Riley]

Ask who?

[Ken Niles]

Oh, this swell girl, this Marilyn Morris.

[Junior Riley]

She wouldn't go with me.

[Ken Niles]

How do you know she won't?

[Junior Riley]

Oh, gee, Pop, she's the most popular girl in school. And. Well, I better go with Babs.

[Ken Niles]

Babs? Who's this girl, Babs? What kind of a girl is she, Babs?

[Junior Riley]

My sister.

[Ken Niles]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You will not take your sister. I refuse to allow any fellow with as little nerve as you got to take out my daughter.

[Junior Riley]

Oh, gee, you think I want to take my own sister to the dance? I'd rather take Marilyn. But every time I get to the phone to call her, I get a funny feeling, like butterflies in my stomach.

[Ken Niles]

Oh, so that's it. You got an interior complex. Sit down, Junior. I think I can help you. Son, every boy has got to face certain dangerous things in his life. First you had measles. Then you had chicken pox. Then you had the mumps. And now it's time for girls. What's your phone number?

[Junior Riley]

Evergreen 4000, 321. But, Pop, I like girls.

[Ken Niles]

But.

[Junior Riley]

But when I have to talk to them, I get scared. Weren't you ever scared like that, Pop?

[Ken Niles]

No, not about phoning them. The only time I was ever scared of a girl was when I proposed to your mother. Right in the middle of the proposal, I forgot what I wanted to say.

[Junior Riley]

Oh, what did mom do?

[Ken Niles]

She prompted me. Junior, it's silly for a guy to be scared of a girl of the opposite sex. Now, now, go on. Go, go, go. F this Marilyn. Go ahead.

[Junior Riley]

No, I can't, Pop. Not nothing.

[Ken Niles]

No, listen, Junior, you.

[Peg Riley]

Hello, dad.

[Ken Niles]

Oh, hello, Babs. Listen, will you tell this brother of yours not to be afraid of phoning up Marilyn and asking her to the dance?

[Peg Riley]

Oh, I have been telling him, but it's no use. He's scared silly.

[Junior Riley]

Oh, cut it out.

[Ken Niles]

Go on, Junior, phone. There's nothing to be scared of. I'll tell you exactly what to say. When Marilyn answers, the first thing you say is, hello. Kind of break the ice. Then you say, listen, Marilyn, I'm taking you to the dance, and I won't take no for an answer.

[Peg Riley]

Oh, no, dad. You must never say that to a girl.

[Ken Niles]

Please, Bev, don't tell me what to say to a girl. Remember, I've taken out more girls than you have.

[Peg Riley]

Well, all right, if you want to ruin everything.

[Ken Niles]

No, you. You listen to me, Junior. First you'll say no, and then you say, okay, if that's the way you feel about it. There's a million girls I could take, and I think I'll take them. And then watch her snap up your offer.

[Junior Riley]

Oh, no, she won't, Pop. I know she won't.

[Peg Riley]

Junior's right. If a fellow ever spoke to me like that, I'd hang up on him.

[Ken Niles]

You will not hang up on him. You'll accept his offer. You'll go to the dance with us.

[Junior Riley]

Damn.

[Peg Riley]

No one is phoning me.

[Ken Niles]

Oh, yeah? Now listen, Junior. Stop stalling. Take the bulldog by the horns and phone Marilyn.

[Junior Riley]

No, I'm not phoning. I don't want to go to the old dance. I just want to be left alone.

[Ken Niles]

What brought that up?

[Peg Riley]

Riley, what's the matter with Junior? Ran out of the house. Oh, Mother, Dad's been trying to get him to phone Marilyn Morris and ask her to go with him to the school dance. Oh, Riley, will you let Junior take care of his own business?

[Ken Niles]

But, Peg, the boy needs help. I'm only trying to build up his subconfidence. He's gotta take Marilyn to the dance.

[Peg Riley]

But if he doesn't, he'll get along.

[Ken Niles]

I. I won't. That Gillis will joke.

[Peg Riley]

Oh, so that's it. Oh, dad, you're always arguing with Mr. Gillis about how wonderful Junior is.

[Ken Niles]

Well, what else can a father argue about? The election's over. Baseball don't start until spring. Well, I'll show that Gillis. Hand me that phone. Bed.

[Peg Riley]

Riley, what are you up to?

[Ken Niles]

Well, if Junior won't phone Marilyn, I will see every green.

[Peg Riley]

Dad, you can't do that.

[Ken Niles]

Now, stop worrying.

[Peg Riley]

Riley, put that phone down. Every time you button to Junior's business, you get him into trouble. Now, hello?

[Ken Niles]

Hello. I mean, hello. Please. Could I speak to Marilyn, please?

[Peg Riley]

This is Marilyn. Who's speaking?

[Ken Niles]

You don't know me, but I'm a friend of Junior Riley.

[Peg Riley]

Oh, Riley, stop this nonsense. Who was that?

[Ken Niles]

Oh, that was my wife.

[Junior Riley]

I. I mean.

[Ken Niles]

I mean, my mother. That was my mother.

[Peg Riley]

Oh, so you're a friend of Junior Riley.

[Jim Gillis]

Oh, sure.

[Ken Niles]

You know Junior, Captain of the Football team star first baseman and high scoring forward of the basketball team.

[Peg Riley]

If that's what you phoned to tell me, I find it all very boring. Goodbye. Wait.

[Ken Niles]

Wait a minute. Junior asked me to call you because he's got a sore throat. Junior wants you to go with him to the dance and he won't take no for an answer.

[Peg Riley]

Oh, he won't, won't he?

[Ken Niles]

No. And if he wants to, he can take a million other girls.

[Peg Riley]

Well, let him. I'm not interested in any man who has to get some child to do his phoning for him.

[Ken Niles]

Goodbye. We were cut off.

[Peg Riley]

You mean she hung up? I told you that line of yours wouldn't work.

[Ken Niles]

That's funny. It worked with you, Peg.

[Peg Riley]

Yeah, but hearing it again, I don't know how it did.

[Ken Niles]

Now dump one. Now.

[Peg Riley]

Oh, there's Junior now. You better tell him what you've done.

[Ken Niles]

Now, wait, Peg. Stay here. Remember, you own 50% of juniors.

[Peg Riley]

I'm not gonna have anything to do with it.

[Ken Niles]

Babs, honey?

[Peg Riley]

No, thank you, dad. Not me. I'm not getting into this.

[Ken Niles]

This is the thanks I get for trying to be a father.

[Junior Riley]

Oh, here you are, Pop.

[Ken Niles]

Listen, Junior.

[Junior Riley]

Pop, I've been thinking things over and I'm gonna take your advice. I'm phoning Marilyn right away.

[Ken Niles]

Don't be hasty, Junior.

[Junior Riley]

No, you were right, Pop. There's no sense in putting an offer. I gotta do it sooner or later.

[Ken Niles]

Well, I gave you a choice, so do it later, huh? Please.

[Junior Riley]

It's silly to be scared of girls. I'll show you I got nerves.

[Ken Niles]

No, no, Junior, don't phone. Hang up, Junior.

[Junior Riley]

But, Bob, you were just trying to get me to.

[Peg Riley]

Hello?

[Junior Riley]

Oh, hello, Marilyn. This is Junior Riley.

[Peg Riley]

Junior Riley. Well, you've certainly got your nerve calling me. You ought to be ashamed getting your idiotic friend to phone me. What? Marilyn, I'll never speak to you again as long as I live.

[Junior Riley]

But, Marilyn. Hello, Marilyn? Marilyn? Bob, she hung up. She said something about an idiotic friend of mine that phoned her. Huh? What's the matter? Your face is getting red all over.

[Ken Niles]

It must be my tight shoes.

[Junior Riley]

Pop.

[Ken Niles]

You.

[Junior Riley]

You phoned her.

[Ken Niles]

Junior, I didn't mean any harm. I was trying to help you. And it ain't as bad as you think. But look, look, let's forget about it. You go to the movies. Wait a minute. Here's a quarter.

[Peg Riley]

Junior.

[Ken Niles]

Junior. Junior, come back here, will you? Believe me, there's a lot more important things in life than girls. And if you'll give me a little time, I'LL think of one.

[William Ben Vicks]

Well, Riley certainly has messed up his son's social life, at least temporarily. And there will be further developments in just a moment. Right now, this is Ken Niles speaking for the American Meat Institute. It was just 156weeks ago today that the most shocking news of a lifetime started crackling out of our radios. Pearl Harbor. You know that our nation was immediately galvanized into action. You know that the miracle of American production is why we are on the winning side of the war today. Now, what happened to the meat industry at the time of Pearl harbor? Well, at 9:30 Monday morning, after the Japs had hit and run, the Chicago Quartermaster Depot received an order to purchase £1,000,000 of meat, boned, frozen and boxed for immediate shipment to replenish supplies. Contact was made at once for the meatpacking companies. By 5 o'clock the same day, cars loaded with a million pounds of meat were rolling towards San Francisco. Since that time, meat has been mobilized for war. Better than 10 billion pounds of meat have rolled to American ports and camps of war. More than £7 billion to our fighting allies. Over and above supplies for the folks at home. Why do our fighters need meat to fight on? Why does our home front need meat to work on? Because meat provides essential bodybuilding proteins. In fact, meat is called a yardstick of protean foods because meat measures up to every protean meat. And now back to the life of Riley with William Bendix. As Riley. Well, Riley put his foot in it again. His attempt to get a date for his son Junior for the school dance by phoning Marilyn Morris and pretending to be a friend of Juniors ended in disaster. Now Marilyn won't speak to Junior and Junior won't speak to his father.

[Ken Niles]

My own son, and he won't even talk to me.

[Peg Riley]

It's your own fault.

[Ken Niles]

I even offered to mow the lawn for him. He didn't say a word.

[Peg Riley]

Well, he'll get over it in a day or two. Now stop worrying. And if your friend Gillis teases.

[Ken Niles]

Your friend ain't worried about Gillis. It's what I done to Junior.

[Peg Riley]

Well, next time time don't butt in. Well, got to go and hang out the water.

[Ken Niles]

I'm going to stay flat on this couch and turn this over on my head. Who's that? It's me, Dick, the Odell F. The door's open, huh? It ain't my favorite undertaker. How are you, Digger?

[Digger Odell]

Excellent, Riley. And you're looking fine. Very natural.

[Ken Niles]

Wait, Digger, let me hang up your coat.

[Digger Odell]

Oh, don't bother getting up, Riley. Just lie there on the couch. I don't mind.

[Ken Niles]

I think I'd rather sit up.

[Digger Odell]

You seem depressed, Riley, so I think I'll cheer you up. Have you heard the latest one? First man? It's a bad day for the race, Second man. What race? First man. The human race. Isn't that a scream?

[Ken Niles]

Yeah. I think I'll lie down again.

[Digger Odell]

What's wrong, Riley? I can see something is troubling you.

[Ken Niles]

Well, yeah, something is.

[Digger Odell]

Riley, you can trust me. I won't tell it to a living soul.

[Ken Niles]

Well, Digger, it's all on account of a dance.

[Digger Odell]

Oh, a dance? Yeah, the art of terpsichore. I adore dancing. It's so gay.

[Ken Niles]

Well, this one ain't gonna be for Junior. You see, he was afraid to ask a certain girl to this dance. And so I phoned her and made out I was a boyfriend of his. And, well, I spoiled everything.

[Digger Odell]

It isn't hopeless, Riley. If I were Junior, I'd dig up another girl.

[Ken Niles]

You could do that. But Junior wants to go. With this particular marrow.

[Digger Odell]

I sympathize with the lad. When I was a boy, somehow, I could never get a girl to go to parties with me. I don't know why. I was just as much fun then as I am now.

[Ken Niles]

I don't know. I wish there was some way to square things for Junior before he disowns me as his father.

[Digger Odell]

There is. Riley, go to this girl and confess everything. Then she'll forgive Junior.

[Ken Niles]

Yeah, that's what I'll do. I'll go and confess. I'm glad I thought of that.

[Digger Odell]

Would you like me to. Would you like me to drive you there? There's plenty of room in my car.

[Ken Niles]

No, thanks, Digger. I'll see it through alone. This is my funeral.

[Digger Odell]

Oops, that reminds me. I have an appointment. Well, cheerio. Very Minot on the laundry.

[Ken Niles]

Yes. Pardon me. Does Marilyn Morris live here?

[William Ben Vicks]

She does. I'm her father.

[Ken Niles]

Well, could I see her, please, sir?

[William Ben Vicks]

What is it about?

[Ken Niles]

Well, I want to find out if she still hasn't got a date for school. Dance.

[William Ben Vicks]

Indeed. Aren't you a little too old for.

[Ken Niles]

That sort of thing? Oh, no, no. I don't want to take her to the dance. My wife wouldn't like it. I mean, my son wouldn't. I mean, I just want to tell her something.

[Peg Riley]

Oh, pardon me. I didn't know you had company.

[William Ben Vicks]

I haven't. You have. Marilyn.

[Ken Niles]

Oh, I'm Mr. Riley. Junior is my father. I. I mean, I'm. I mean, I'm his son. I mean, I, I, I'm pleased to meet you, Marilyn. Have a cigar. No, no, no. You Morris. Mr. Morris.

[William Ben Vicks]

I don't smoke.

[Peg Riley]

You wanted to see me, Mr. Riley?

[Ken Niles]

Riley, yeah. I wanted to talk to you private. Like I figured if you were alone. There's something I gotta tell you, just between the two of you.

[William Ben Vicks]

You can cough your head off, Mr. Riley, but I insist on being present during any conversation you have with my daughter.

[Ken Niles]

Ah, well, well, guys. Well, Marilyn, yesterday you got a phone call from somebody who said he was a friend of Junior.

[Peg Riley]

Yes, and of all the silly little dopes I ever heard, he certainly takes the cake.

[Ken Niles]

My Junior is no dope.

[Peg Riley]

I mean his friend who phoned.

[Ken Niles]

Ah, ah, well, don't you think you're being a little hard on Junior's friend?

[William Ben Vicks]

She is not. I happen to overhear that conversation on the extension in my study, Father. And I must say, Mr. Riley, if the boy who telephoned is the type your son associates with, I forbid Maryland to have anything to do with him.

[Ken Niles]

Now listen. Now, the boy who phoned is a very fine tripe.

[Peg Riley]

He's a drip. I wish you I knew who it was. I.

[Ken Niles]

That that's what I come to tell you.

[Peg Riley]

You know?

[Ken Niles]

Yeah, I'm the drip.

[Peg Riley]

You.

[William Ben Vicks]

Yesterday I wouldn't have believed it. Today I do.

[Ken Niles]

You see, Junior was dying to ask you to the dance, but he was too scared to phone you, and so that's why I did. He didn't know anything about it.

[Peg Riley]

Oh, I see. Oh, I wish I'd known. I wouldn't have spoken to Junior the way I did. Oh, I'm sorry.

[Ken Niles]

Oh, then you ain't sorry Junior?

[Peg Riley]

Of course not.

[Ken Niles]

You forgive him, huh?

[Peg Riley]

Certainly.

[Ken Niles]

Oh, well, okay then. It's all settled. Junior will call for you 8:00 Saturday night.

[Peg Riley]

Oh, no, no, I can't go with him to the dance. I'd like to, but I can't.

[Ken Niles]

So why not?

[Peg Riley]

I've already accepted a date with Egbert Gillis.

[Ken Niles]

You? What a wonderful pal I turned out to be for Egbert Gillis.

[Peg Riley]

Well, Ross and movies.

[Ken Niles]

Riley. Now, have a good time, dumpling.

[Peg Riley]

Come on, bab. Dear Junior, are you sure you don't want to go to the dance tonight? I'd be glad to go with you.

[Junior Riley]

No, I don't want to go to the dance.

[Ken Niles]

Ah, you just leave Junior alone. He'll be okay with me. Go on, Go ahead.

[Peg Riley]

All right, then. Good night.

[Ken Niles]

Good night. I'll cheer up Junior. Tonight us men are going to make a night, huh? How's about starting off with a snappy game of checkers, huh?

[Junior Riley]

I don't feel like checkers.

[Ken Niles]

Well, then how's about showing me how you make salt on your chemistry set?

[Junior Riley]

No, I just want to sit here and think.

[Ken Niles]

About what?

[Junior Riley]

Oh, about life and how mixed up it gets.

[Ken Niles]

Junior, you gotta learn to smile. Listen, I heard a great joke today. Listen, first man, ain't this a bad day for the game? Second man, what game? Third man, the human game. Ain't that funny, Junior?

[Junior Riley]

Yeah, Pop, it's hilarious.

[Ken Niles]

I told you I'd cheer you up. Now let's go. I'll get it. Junior. Oh, it's you, Gillis.

[Jim Gillis]

Good evening, Riley. Oh, take it easy, Riley. Don't close the door on my foot.

[Ken Niles]

Oh, I'm very sorry.

[Jim Gillis]

Come on in, eggbud.

[Peg Riley]

Hello, Mr. Riley. Hello, Junior.

[Junior Riley]

Hello, Egbert.

[Ken Niles]

I know why you're here, Gillis. All right, go on. Go ahead. Glow gun.

[Jim Gillis]

Oh, no, Riley. I would come for that. We just happened to pass by on our way to pick up Marilyn, so I figured maybe I could give Junior a lift to the dance.

[Ken Niles]

That's very thoughtful of you, Gillis, to go four miles out of your way and use up a half a gallon of General Eisenhower's gas. But it so happens Junior ain't going to the dance. Him and me are sitting this one up. You don't see.

[Jim Gillis]

Oh, well, don't take it too hard, Junior. Some kids are cut out for social life and some ain't.

[Ken Niles]

It ain't that Junior's got more important things to do than go dancing. He's staying home tonight to work out some chemistry experiments. He's going to make salt.

[Digger Odell]

What for?

[Jim Gillis]

You can get a whole pound for a dime.

[Ken Niles]

He's inventing it with his chemistry set.

[Junior Riley]

Salt?

[Peg Riley]

That's baby stuff.

[Ken Niles]

Sure.

[Jim Gillis]

My egg bite makes iodine.

[Ken Niles]

What?

[Jim Gillis]

His chemistry. Seth made a whole bottle of iodine last night.

[Ken Niles]

Well, he should have pasted a picture of your face on a bottle.

[Junior Riley]

How could you make iodine, Egbert? We don't learn that till a senior year.

[Peg Riley]

I did so make it, didn't I, Father?

[Jim Gillis]

Yes, sir. The finest iodine I ever saw.

[Ken Niles]

How do you know it? Did you taste it?

[Jim Gillis]

You don't believe us, huh?

[Ken Niles]

No.

[Jim Gillis]

Where's your chemistry set, Junior?

[Junior Riley]

In the other room. Okay.

[Jim Gillis]

Come on, eggbate.

[Peg Riley]

Oh, but, Father, I'll be late for the day.

[Jim Gillis]

No, no, you won't. You'll see. Riley, whether it's social stuff or chemistry, my egg bait is a great little m. Well, when do we get the iodine.

[Peg Riley]

In a minute, Father. Just as soon as I heat this test tube.

[Junior Riley]

Egbert, I think you made a mistake.

[Peg Riley]

You shouldn't. I know what I'm doing, Junior.

[Jim Gillis]

Sure, Egbert knows what he's doing.

[Ken Niles]

Junior, don't interfere with Monsieur Egbert's pasteur. Come on, Egbert, we're waiting. Come on.

[Peg Riley]

All I've got to do is hold this flame under the test tube.

[Ken Niles]

Jasmine, look out. Egbert. Egbert.

[Peg Riley]

I'm all right, Father. I'm not hurt. I guess I made a mistake.

[Ken Niles]

Egbert, where are your eyebrows?

[Jim Gillis]

I don't see your eyebrows.

[Ken Niles]

Holy smoke. His eyes are bald.

[Peg Riley]

Where's a mirror? Where's a mirror, Papa?

[Junior Riley]

Oh, here, look.

[Peg Riley]

My eyebrows.

[Ken Niles]

Oh, don't cry, eggbird.

[Junior Riley]

I haven't got any eyebrows.

[Ken Niles]

Now, look, expert, knock down. Don't take it so hard so you won't grow up to be a John L. Lewis. What?

[Jim Gillis]

Hey, Grace, you'll be late for the dance.

[Peg Riley]

I can't go to a dance without eyebrows.

[Ken Niles]

You don't dance on your eyebrows. Come on, now. All right, don't y'all but stop crying.

[Jim Gillis]

Please.

[Ken Niles]

Stop crying. Quick, Junior, get dressed in your best suit.

[Junior Riley]

Dress?

[Ken Niles]

Yeah, if I know women. Inside of 15 minutes, you're gonna get a call from a certain young lady whose initials are Marilyn Morri.

[Junior Riley]

Bob, it's over 15 minutes and Marilyn hasn't phoned.

[Ken Niles]

Oh, she'll phone. Just give her time. Remember, Junior, when she phones, play hard to get. Now, now, keep cool. Don't be nervous. I'll take you to her house in a taxi. Now, let's get ready. We better get. Where's my hat?

[Junior Riley]

On your head.

[Ken Niles]

Well, never mind. I'll look for it later. Now, be calm now, relax. Oh, yes, sir. I told you I'll answer first. But, Pa, you listen in. Hello?

[Peg Riley]

Oh, Mr. Riley, this is Marilyn Morris. May I speak to Junior, please?

[Ken Niles]

Well, he's kind of tied up now.

[Junior Riley]

No, Pop, no, it's very important.

[Peg Riley]

It's about the dance. I'd like him to take me.

[Ken Niles]

Well, if he can tear himself away from the girls.

[Junior Riley]

Girls?

[Ken Niles]

Oh, yeah, the house is full of them. Always after Junior.

[Peg Riley]

Well, in that.

[Junior Riley]

Give me the phone, Pop. Oh, Marilyn, this is Junior. I'll be glad to take you in the dance. I'll call for you in five minutes. A taxi.

[Peg Riley]

Goodbye.

[Junior Riley]

She's gone with me. She's gone with me for sure.

[Ken Niles]

Just like I told you, Junior, it always works. Play hard to get.

[William Ben Vicks]

Here's a special message from our star Riley himself, William Bendix.

[Ken Niles]

Folks all over the world, millions of American boys are carrying the flags of the United States and the United nations ever forward to victory. That victory over our barbaric enemies is inevitable. We know that all too many brave young men will never return to share the freedom. We also know if these men are willing to stake their lives on what they believed in, the least we safe here at home can do is to give them weapons they must have to fight with. We must buy war bonds.

[Jim Gillis]

Lots of them.

[Ken Niles]

More than we think we can afford. Each bond we buy is an investment in America's future and a tribute to those who are willing to die to protect that investment. Good night.

[William Ben Vicks]

Don't forget to live the life of Riley with us every week at this very same time. Next we Riley goes to adult evening school school and gets entangled with a love star female. We think you'll enjoy the results. This is Ken Niles in Hollywood saying good night. This is The Blue Network 7:30 at Keca Los Angeles.