Life of Riley 44-12-24 (050) Roswell's a Guest for Christmas

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Harold’s Old Time Radio

Episode: Life of Riley 44-12-24 (050) Roswell’s a Guest for Christmas
Date: December 24, 2025
Host: Harold’s Old Time Radio
Feature: Classic radio episode, "The Life of Riley" starring William Bendix

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Overview

This holiday-themed episode of The Life of Riley centers on Christmas at the Riley household, where Riley has unexpectedly invited Roswell Stevenson, his boss’s son, to spend the holiday with their family. What begins as a reluctant act of kindness towards the awkward, privileged Roswell becomes a lesson in generosity, empathy, and the true spirit of Christmas for both Riley’s family—and their challenging guest.

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Key Discussion Points & Story Beats

1. Crisis and a Guest for Christmas

• The episode opens with Riley arriving home with news that he’s invited Roswell Stevenson to spend Christmas with them because Roswell’s mother has been hospitalized unexpectedly.
• Initial resistance from the family, particularly Junior, who finds Roswell annoying and troublesome.
• Riley insists on keeping Roswell’s mother’s condition a secret to spare him worry and preserve his Christmas spirit.
  • [04:01] Riley: “Roswell don’t know about us yet. Mr. Stevenson don't know himself how serious it might be. And there's no use spoiling the boy's Christmas.”

2. Gift Dilemmas and Sacrifice

• The Rileys scramble to figure out a present for Roswell, with stores closed and little time left.
• Riley urges Junior to generously give up his most cherished Christmas gift—a model racing car Riley had secretly crafted just for him—to Roswell.
• Junior resists, but is eventually persuaded by Riley’s insistence on the importance of giving.
  • [05:58] Riley: “It’s what you give that makes you happy. So this year I’m going to make you happy by letting you give something to somebody you like.”
  • [06:11] Junior: “I think he’s a goon.”
  • [06:13] Riley: “Junior, that ain’t the right spirit on Christmas. You gotta like all the goons and give him pledge.”
• The present is relabeled to be from “Santa Claus” to spare Roswell any awkwardness.

3. Roswell Arrives, and Friction Ensues

• Roswell arrives, making entitled demands and displaying a detached attitude toward Christmas.
• His disinterest in holiday traditions is met with bafflement and exasperation by the family.
  • [09:46] Roswell: “Personally, I’ve outgrown it [Christmas].”
  • [10:07] Roswell: “Parks, you may draw my bath. Mr. Riley, you have a tub?”
  • Riley, aside: “Have we got a bathtub? I could slap him.” [10:36] Riley
• Riley decides he will force Roswell to have a Merry Christmas, even if by unconventional means:
  • [10:52] Riley: “I’m giving Roswell a merry Christmas. If I have to pound the daylight out of him to do it.”

4. Christmas Tree Chaos and Class Clashes

• The family decorates the tree; Roswell ridicules their traditions and accidentally (or purposely) causes havoc, breaking ornaments and leading to comic mishaps.
  • [16:02] Junior: “Junior can’t help it if he’s clumsy...”
  • [16:21] Roswell: “Mr. Riley, let Junior hang another ornament. It’ll restore the lad’s confidence.”
• The atmosphere is tense and awkward, with misunderstandings piling up, including expensive phone calls Roswell makes in a misguided attempt to contact his absent parents.

5. Understanding Roswell’s Loneliness

• The Rileys realize Roswell’s misbehavior is rooted in profound loneliness and anxiety over his mother’s health.
• Riley decides to lift Roswell’s spirits by showing him the meaning of Christmas beyond their home.

6. A Christmas Carol—With a Riley Spin

• Riley attempts to connect with Roswell by reading him "A Christmas Carol" but is confounded by Roswell’s literal-minded questions about the plot.
  • [21:21] Riley: “I got the book right here. A Christmas Carol. The story starts like this. Old Marley was dead.”
  • [22:05] Junior: “Then what is your authority for claiming that Marley is dead at all?”
• In frustration, Riley opts to show rather than tell, taking Roswell out into the city.
  • [22:43] Riley: “Instead of reading you a Christmas carol, I’m gonna do like Marley’s ghost did with Scrooge. I’m gonna take you all around town and show you how other people do at Christmas.”

7. A City Tour of Christmas Kindness

• Riley leads Roswell through the less fortunate parts of town, showing the sacrifices others make and the special hope and effort people put forth at Christmas, despite hardship.
  • [24:44] Riley: “Even down here, they’re getting ready for Christmas... sometimes they spend the last money they got so somebody won’t go without nothing for Christmas.”
  • Roswell is touched when he sees people making do with little but finding meaning and community in their celebration.

8. Roswell’s Realization and Reunion

• Riley reveals to Roswell the truth about his mother’s illness and takes him to his father, who is waiting anxiously outside the hospital.
  • [26:20] Riley: “Maybe I oughtn’t to, but I got a hunch it’s the right thing to do. Listen—your father ain’t out of town having a good time, Roswell…”
• The family receives news that Mrs. Stevenson will be all right. There is relief and newfound warmth between Roswell and his family.

9. Christmas Morning and the Joy of Giving

• Riley’s gift to Roswell (the model racer) is finally presented, but Roswell, now changed by his experience, insists on giving a gift in return—a live turtle—for Junior.
  • [28:45] Roswell: “Here’s a big package that says to Roswell from Santa Claus.”
  • [28:49] Junior: “Roswell, I hope you like turtles, because here’s what I got today. Merry Christmas.”
• The family—joined by the Stevensons—celebrates together, unified by the joy and humility that comes from both giving and receiving.

10. Closing Reflections on Christmas

• Riley addresses the broader audience, tying their personal Christmas story to the national and global struggles of wartime America, urging hope and mutual support.
  • [30:30] Riley: “Perhaps now is the time for all of us to pledge our hearts and our hands to the cause for which our brothers fight... so that one day soon we all once more may share a merry Christmas.”

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• [03:39] Riley: “I was brought up to believe that all babies were brought by the stork. I was wrong. The girls must come by parrot.”
• [05:57] Riley: “It's what you give that makes you happy.”
• [10:52] Riley: “I’m giving Roswell a merry Christmas. If I have to pound the daylight out of him to do it.”
• [16:39] Riley: “You see this glass apple?... See? It exploded. Look, I got glass applesauce.”
• [21:55] Riley: “Roswell, I can see you’re a sept. You know, a fellow by the name of Dickens once wrote a story about Christmas, and in it, there was a character just like you. His name was Stooge. Scrooge. Ah, yeah. Yes, Scrooge.”
• [24:44] Riley: “People like them, Roswell, are all members of the human race—which I am also. Maybe if you live long enough and learn fast enough, someday we’ll put you up for membership.”
• [28:49] Junior: “Roswell, I hope you like turtles, because here’s what I got today. Merry Christmas.”
• [30:30] Riley: “Perhaps now is the time for all of us to pledge our hearts and our hands to the cause for which our brothers fight... so that one day soon we all once more may share a merry Christmas.”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:06 – 02:50 | Riley’s homecoming and shock announcement about Roswell’s visit
• 04:01 – 08:32 | The debate over gifting and the dilemma over the model racer
• 08:51 – 10:52 | Roswell’s arrival and Christmas spirit clashes
• 13:43 – 18:47 | Christmas tree decorating disasters and awkward moments
• 20:01 – 22:18 | Riley tries to teach Roswell with “A Christmas Carol”
• 22:43 – 25:51 | The Christmas city tour; lessons learned from hardship
• 25:51 – 27:16 | Roswell’s moment of truth and reunion with his father
• 28:05 – 29:03 | The Christmas morning exchange of gifts and final warmth
• 30:30 – 30:58 | Riley’s closing message about hope and goodwill

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Tone and Atmosphere

The Life of Riley delivers its message with a blend of comedy, heartfelt sentiment, and classic sitcom hijinks. Riley’s gruff but big-hearted personality, the family’s loving banter, and Roswell’s journey from sulky outsider to grateful son all deliver a timeless reminder of the true meaning of Christmas—giving, compassion, and connection—even in trying times.

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Summary prepared for listeners who want to revisit prime old-time radio, enjoy the wisdom and wit of The Life of Riley, or simply want a little more Christmas spirit in their day.

Transcript

[Josh Whalen]

If you're paying more than $1 a month for any ED or hair medication, listen up at Joy and Blokes. When you start TRT or enclomiphene, you can add any ED or hair loss prescription for just $1 a month. $1 add ons with your hormone plan and right now all labs are 50% off. I'm Josh Whalen, founder of Joy and Blokes. I built this company because men are tired of paying for fragmented care without results. Every Joy and Blokes lab includes a visit with a licensed clinician who connects your symptoms to your biomarkers. You'll get a real plan that covers hormones, performance and confidence. If you're considering TRT or Enclomiphene, this is the most efficient way to do it. Get [e-mail] and use a promo code podcast. New customers get 50% off their labs. And for a limited time, you can take advantage of our $1ed or hair loss add ons. You start TRT or in Clomiphene. Not available in all states. Compounded medications are not FDA approved. Learn more at Jo&Blokes.com.

[Riley]

Here he is, folks.

[Narrator / Ken Nile]

During the day, he stars in movies like Wake Island, Guadalcanal Diary and Lifeboat. But tonight he's just an old sit by the fire, eagerly waiting for Santa Claus.

[Riley]

The first Christmas I remember, I was just a kid back in Brooklyn. Right after dinner, I hid my father's shoes and at the stroke of midnight, Santa Claus came down the chimney in his bare seat.

[Narrator / Ken Nile]

The american meat institute presents william bendix in the life of riley. The Meat People of America. Providing a great food for a great nation. Carefully planned months ago by the army and Navy Services of supply, carefully packed and shipped by the meat industry and other food suppliers. Every American fighter who can be reached throughout the world will have tomorrow the finest Christmas Day meals that any nation ever provided. Its army, its navy, its Marines. And they deserve it. And now, on behalf of all those engaged in supplying meat to the nations, the American Meat Institute presents the Life of Riley. Well, you all know the old nursery rhyme. T was the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. Well, that doesn't go for the Riley house on this Christmas Eve. There's plenty stirring there. Things began to pop when Riley arrived home from the Los Angeles aircraft plant where he works with some news that his wife and daughter found a little upsetting.

[Junior]

What? You mean to say you invited that Roswell Stevenson here for Christmas? What possessed you to do a thing like that?

[Riley]

Well, the reason is.

[Junior]

Dad, that little dip Roswell will ruin our whole Christmas. The last time he was here, he almost burnt the house down.

[Riley]

Well, the reason is.

[Junior]

And remember when Roswell hit you on the head with a horseshoe? Said it was for good luck, and still you invite him here on Christmas Eve. Well, why?

[Riley]

Well, the reason is.

[Junior]

Honest, Riley, sometimes you do the craziest thing. Well, stop moving your mouth like a goldfish. The least you can do is tell us. Don't just stand there.

[Riley]

I ain't standing. I'm sitting.

[Junior]

I know you like your boss very much, but if you'll take my advice, you'll call up Mr. Stevenson and say you can't have Roswell here. That's what I think.

[Riley]

I was brought up to believe that all babies were brought by the stork. I was wrong. The girls must come by parrot.

[Junior]

Don't exaggerate, Riley. We're listening.

[Riley]

Well, I invited Roswell to spend Christmas with us because his mother was suddenly taken to the hospital this morning.

[Junior]

Oh. Oh, that's two things. Oh, gee, dad. Poor kid must be upset.

[Riley]

No, Roswell don't know about us yet. Mr. Stevenson don't know himself how serious it might be. And there's no use spoiling the boy's Christmas.

[Junior]

But won't he find out?

[Riley]

Not just we don't blab. Roswell's father made up a story that he's taken Mrs. Stevenson out of town over the holidays. So remember, don't let on mumps is the word.

[Junior]

Dear, I'm sorry I said what I did, but you should have told her.

[Riley]

Yeah, you're right. The next time I want to tell you women something, I'll go down to the corner drugstore or in Phonia.

[Junior]

Under the circumstances, I'm glad you invited Roswell here. Well, I better go and fix up the cotton.

[Riley]

Junior's room. Listen, Peg, don't tell Junior about Roswell's mother. You know how Junior talks. Even in his sleep, he jabbers. You know what side of the family he got that habit from?

[Junior]

Dad, what are we giving Roswell for Christmas? It's practically here. Just four hours.

[Riley]

Yeah. Yeah, right. Well, gee, I don't know. All the stores are closed.

[Junior]

Well, we can't give each other things and leave him out. I've given one of my gifts, but they'll all be girls.

[Riley]

Yeah. You couldn't give him a girl. I mean, a girl's gift. I know what to give Roswell. Where's Junior?

[Junior]

Oh, he'll be home soon. Oh, Riley, you're not taking away one of Junior's presents.

[Riley]

Who's taking anything? When I talk to Junior and explain things, he'll give Roswell the best he's got.

[Junior]

Oh, Junior can't stand Roswell.

[Riley]

Well, neither can I. That Roswell is murder. But this is Christmas. That's why I'm willing to give up one of Junior's presents. So you see, Junior, at Christmas time, it ain't what you get that makes you happy.

[Junior]

I know, Pa.

[Riley]

It's what you give that makes you happy. So this year I'm going to make you happy by letting you give something to somebody you like.

[Junior]

Who is this somebody I like?

[Riley]

You like Roswell Stevenson, don't you?

[Junior]

I think he's a goon.

[Riley]

Junior, that ain't the right spirit on Christmas. You gotta like all the goons and give him pledge.

[Junior]

I gotta give Roswell one of my own presents.

[Riley]

Now you're getting the idea.

[Junior]

Well, I got a better idea, Pop. If it makes people so happy to give, let's make Roswell happy by letting him give me something.

[Riley]

I don't seem to be getting my message across so good. Look, Junior, how will it look Christmas morning? Our arms loaded with presents and poor Roswell sitting in a corner twiddling his empty thumbs.

[Junior]

Okay, okay, I'll give him something. But what?

[Riley]

Well, now you're talking like my own boy. Now, listen, Junior, you know that little model racing auto that you asked me to build for you?

[Junior]

Gosh, Pop, did you make it on the level?

[Riley]

Yeah. You know how for the past three months I've been going bowling every Monday night?

[Junior]

Yeah.

[Riley]

Well, I haven't. I've been working on that model racer over at Greasy Beasta's garage.

[Junior]

Really, Pa?

[Riley]

Yeah.

[Junior]

Gee, that swell of you. Gee, I don't know how to thank you.

[Riley]

Well, you're getting too big to kiss me, but we can shake hands.

[Junior]

What's it like, huh, Pa?

[Riley]

Well, I don't want to go into any detail because it's a surprise, but it's got everything that a real automobile has. Got tires, headlights, bumpers, license plates, no gas.

[Junior]

How big is it, Pop?

[Riley]

It's two feet long. @ least you can find a place to park it in.

[Junior]

Hollywood. Oh, boy, wait till a gang sees that.

[Riley]

Car. And, Junior, that little car you're getting, you ain't getting. Roswell's getting it on account of your giving it to him out of the kindness of your.

[Junior]

Heart. Ah, Pop, no. Not my special racer. Aw.

[Riley]

Pop. Now, Junior, I ain't got no more time to Argue? I'll make you another racer. I'll start right after Christmas. But right now, you get busy. And change the label on that red box there. Make it say, to Roswell from Santy.

[Junior]

Claus. Gosh, don't I even get credit for giving it.

[Riley]

Up? Well, we don't want him to know it was yours, do I, now, Junior? You do exactly like I said. And I'm certainly glad you made this.

[Junior]

Decision. Hey, Roswell's coming up the steps now. Well, I guess we're all ready for him. I've locked up the ant poison, the matches and the carving.

[Riley]

Knife. Open the door.

[Junior]

Junior.

[Riley]

Okay.

[Junior]

Yes. Oh. Merry Christmas, Roswell. Merry.

[Riley]

Christmas. Merry Christmas. Come in, come in. Thank you very.

[Junior]

Much. Just put my bags down.

[Riley]

Park. Yes, sir. And your gifts, master Roswell. Yeah, Roswell. I'd never seen so many Christmas packages. Stick them under our tree.

[Junior]

Buddy. If you don't mind, Mr. Riley.

[Riley]

Better let me handle the man. Oh, oh, sure, Roswell, man, handle the man. I mean, handle the.

[Junior]

Man. You may take my presence to my Sweet Parks. Oh, Mr. Riley, where is my.

[Riley]

Suite? Your suite? That's in Junior's room. The cot near the.

[Junior]

Window. A carton. Oh, very well.

[Riley]

Parks. Pile my presents in Junior's room. I shan't require them until I.

[Junior]

Leave. Oh, but, Roswell, you'll want to open your presents on Christmas when we open ours. I hope we're not going to have a lot of nonsense about this matter of Christmas, Mrs. Riley. Personally, I've outgrown.

[Riley]

It. That's no way to talk, Roswell. Look at Santa Claus. He's got a beard, and he ain't outgrown.

[Junior]

It. Now, if someone will please show me to my quarters. Yes, right this way, Roswell. Parks, you may draw my bath. Mr. Riley, you have a.

[Riley]

Tub? No, that's just the way I'm.

[Junior]

Standing. I mean, a.

[Riley]

Bathtub. Oh, sure, we got a bathtub.

[Junior]

Roswell. The stopper is missing, so you'll have to use your big.

[Riley]

Toe. How primitive. Very well, if you'll excuse.

[Junior]

Me. Gosh, he don't want to be here any more than we want him. Have we got a bathtub? I could slap.

[Riley]

Him. Oh, give him a break. He's probably.

[Junior]

Lonely. Fine Christmas we're gonna have from the.

[Riley]

Looks. Now, listen, kids, we can't have a white Christmas in California. But that don't mean we gotta have a blue one. So everybody get merry and stay that.

[Junior]

Way. But what about Roswell.

[Riley]

Daddy? Just leave him to me. I'm giving Roswell a merry Christmas. If I have to pound the daylight out of him to do.

[Narrator / Ken Nile]

It. We'll be back with the Riley's and their very difficult house guest in a moment. This is Ken Nile speaking. This Christmas Eve for Meat. There have been 178American Christmas Eves since 1776. Most of them have been Christmas Eves of peace. Some have been Christmas Eves of war. There was a Christmas Eve at Valley Forge. There was a Christmas Eve in 1917. And on this Christmas Eve too, hearts all over the nation are tense and expectant for the red of this year's Christmas holly once more blends in many American homes with the red of service flags. At this time, the American Meat Institute and the livestock producers and farmers wish to leave only one short message with you. It is this Our meat people pledge their hearts and hands to furnish all the meat needed and the best meat possible to our fighters on land and sea and in the air. That is the duty of America's meat people and that is their.

[Josh Whalen]

Pledge. If you're paying more than $1 a month for any ED or hair medication, listen up at Joy and Blokes when you start TRT or enclomiphene, you can add any ED or hair loss prescription for just 1 dol dollar a month. $1 add ons with your hormone plan and right now all labs are 50% off. I'm Josh Whalen, founder of Joy and Blokes. I built this company because men are tired of paying for fragmented care without results. Every Joy and Blokes lab includes a visit with a licensed clinician who connects your symptoms to your biomarkers. You'll get a real plan that covers hormones, performance and confidence. If you're considering TRT or Enclomiphene, this is the most efficient way to do it. Get [e-mail] and use a promo code podcast. Newcust customers get 50 off their labs and for a limited time, you can take advantage of our $1 ed or hair loss add ons when you start TRT or enclomiphene. Not available in all states. Compounded medications are not FDA approved. Learn.

[Narrator / Ken Nile]

[e-mail] and now back to the life of Riley with William Bendix as Riley. It's a little later on Christmas Eve and Riley is trying to combine trimming the tree with the lesson on Christmas. Good cheer for his wealthy but discontented young house guest, Roswell Stevenson, the son of Riley's boss. Roswell so far shows no.

[Riley]

Improvement. Look it Roswell. Look what I'm going to put on the tree now. Popcorn.

[Junior]

Stringers. How exciting. Yeah. Mom pops it and Bab strings it and Pop hangs it on the.

[Riley]

Tree. And on Christmas Day comes the best.

[Junior]

Part. Oh, you pedal it on the.

[Riley]

Street? No, we. We eat it. Junior, hand me that war bond over there. That's the first thing I'm going to hang on a tree, and I'm going to keep hanging it there every.

[Junior]

Year. Every year.

[Riley]

Pop? Yep. Every year for 10 years until it's ripe, and then I'll click.

[Junior]

It. Didn't Roswell's father give you that.

[Riley]

Bond? Yeah, you're swell of him, too, Roswell. I. I hope your dad likes the handkerchiefs I gave him. They may not be big enough. You see, I didn't know what size nose he's got. Ah, that's a good one, isn't it, Roswell, huh?

[Junior]

Yes. I must remember to tell my father you made a joke about his.

[Riley]

Nose. Suppose we forget about it, Roswell. Hand me that box of Christmas tree ornaments there.

[Junior]

Junior. Oh, here.

[Riley]

Pop. Yes, classy, ain't they, Roswell? They're imported. They come from Brooklyn.

[Junior]

Brooklyn? Isn't that a suburb of the.

[Riley]

Bronx? Roswell. Never say that while I'm holding a hammer in my hand. Forget I'm a member of the.

[Junior]

Bpla. And what, may I ask, is the.

[Riley]

Bpla? The Brooklyn Patriots of Los.

[Junior]

Angeles. Pop, can I hang some of the ornaments on the.

[Riley]

Trees? Yeah, but watch yourself now. They break easy. Say, here's one of my special ornaments. Roswell. Look at it. Ain't that a.

[Junior]

Novelty? All I can see is a large cowboy.

[Riley]

Hat. Oh, well, look closer and you'll see Mayor LaGuardia under the hat. Here, Junior, you hang the.

[Junior]

Mayor. Okay, Pop. What's now.

[Riley]

Oswald? Let's see now. What do we have next? Junior, look what you've done. You dropped.

[Junior]

It. Do it again.

[Riley]

Junior. That was.

[Junior]

Fun. I didn't drop him, Pop. He kind of exploded right in my.

[Riley]

Hand. Junior, it's bad enough you broke it without you having to make up a.

[Junior]

Story. Mr. Riley. Junior can't help it if he's clumsy. It does seem to slip through his head fingers. It did.

[Riley]

Not. Junior, don't be contradicting Roswell when he's standing up for.

[Junior]

You. I tell you, it kind of exploded. Oh, come now, Junior. You were careless, admit it. Mr. Riley, let Junior hang another ornament. It'll restore the lad's.

[Riley]

Confidence. No, I'm sure I'm not going to take any more chances. I'm hanging the next one so it'll get done.

[Junior]

Right. Be careful.

[Riley]

Pop. 15 years I had them ornaments and they never exploded on me. All you gotta do is be.

[Junior]

Careful. You show them how it's done, Mr.

[Riley]

Reilly. Yeah. Now watch, Junior. You see this glass.

[Junior]

Apple?

[Riley]

Yeah. First I tied this apple on the tree. Now I'm letting go of it very carefully. See? It exploded. Look, I got glass.

[Junior]

Applesauce. Oh, I know what happened, Pop. I was watching that time Roswell did it. That is sheer.

[Riley]

Nonsense. He wasn't nowheres near.

[Junior]

It. No, but he's got DB Shot and a bean shooter, and he pops him with.

[Riley]

That. Roswell. What's the idea of sniping at our Christmas.

[Junior]

Tree? It's long past my bedtime, Mr. Reilly. I think I'll.

[Riley]

Return. Roswell, come back here. Roswell, I'm giving you your choice. Either you come back here, or I'm.

[Junior]

Going. Before you finish your sentence, Mr. Riley, may I remind you that my father is your boss and no man is indispensable. Now, what were you about to.

[Riley]

Say? I was just going to say, either you come back here or else do whatever he was going to do before I so rudely interrupted. Just help me pick up the glass, Junior. Oh, here I am. I'm just finishing the tree. What's the.

[Junior]

Matter? Did you know Roswell's been phoning to Sun.

[Riley]

Valley? Sun Valley? You mean that place in Idaho.

[Junior]

Where people go skidding steals long distance just called and said the charges on the call to Sun Valley are.

[Riley]

656. 50 for one phone call? If he wants to call up valleys, let him call the San Fernando Valley. It's only a.

[Junior]

Nickel. He also calls Palm Springs, Arrowhead Springs and Murrieta.

[Riley]

Springs. Listen, I ain't working 12 hours a day to make Alexander Graham Bell rich. I won't stand for.

[Junior]

It.

[Narrator / Ken Nile]

I.

[Riley]

Out. Hello. Hello.

[Junior]

Sir. I have hot.

[Riley]

Sa. Well, wear as dresses.

[Junior]

Pajamas. I beg your pardon? I beg your.

[Riley]

Pardon. I. Cancel the call, please. Hot Springs. That's way back east.

[Junior]

Humphrey. Oh. Oh, Riley, I see now. Roswell's been calling up all these resorts to get in touch with his folks by the poor boy's.

[Riley]

Lonesome. Oh. Oh, I see. Yeah. Gosh, of course, that's why he's been acting so peculiar, even for.

[Junior]

Him. Oh, it's hard for a boy to think his parents deserted him on Christmas.

[Riley]

Eve.

[Junior]

Yeah. Riley, maybe we better tell him about his mother.

[Riley]

Huh? No, no, no. I promised Mr. Stevenson I wouldn't tell. Poor kid. I remember once I was away from home on Christmas Eve. Peg, I'm gonna make one more stab at cheering him up. Oh.

[Junior]

Yes. Show Roswell our stockings all hung up by the fireplace. And hang up his stocking.

[Riley]

Too. Yeah, for a minute there, when he busted my ornaments, I was going to hang up both of his stockings with him in him. Well, I'll see what I can do for the little guy. Okay. Now, Roswell, that place in the middle of the row is where you can hang up your stockings. Right next to my.

[Junior]

Three. Mr. Riley, such whimsy. To me you're an interesting survivor of a species I had supposed to.

[Riley]

Extinct. Yeah, I'm beginning to appeal to you.

[Junior]

Huh? Mr. Riley, do you actually believe it's true that a fat character with a white beard travels through the air propelled by.

[Riley]

Reindeer? Well, you see, Roswell, it's just a kind of a legend that you believe.

[Josh Whalen]

In.

[Riley]

Like. Like. Like believing that your wife's relatives are going to pay you back the dough they.

[Junior]

Borrowed. Well, I refuse to believe in these childish.

[Riley]

Legends. Roswell, I can see you're a sept. You know, a fellow by the name of Dickens once wrote a story about Christmas, and in it, there was a character just like you. His name was Stooge. Scrooge. Ah, yeah. Yes, Scrooge. This Scrooge didn't believe in Christmas either, until. Wait a minute. I'm going to read you this story. It'll do you a world of.

[Junior]

Good. Well, if you insist, Mr.

[Riley]

Riley. I got the book right here. A Christmas Carol. The story starts like this. Old Marley was dead. One.

[Junior]

Moment. What is the relationship between this Marley, alleged to be dead, and the character Scrooge, whom you claim I.

[Riley]

Resemble? Oh, well, they used to be partners in.

[Junior]

Business. I thought as much. And Scrooge inherited the business.

[Josh Whalen]

Eh?

[Riley]

Right. Now, let's start over. Old Molly was.

[Junior]

Dead. Just a moment, Mr. Riley. What were the exact circumstances of Miley's.

[Riley]

Death? Well, I. I don't know. Dickens don't say. And if Dickens don't know how to Dickens should I.

[Junior]

Know? Then what is your authority for claiming that Miley is dead at.

[Riley]

All? Okay, then he ain't dead. But at the moment, he just boost up and debris. Anyway, what do you care how Marley.

[Junior]

Died? Well, obviously, since Scrooge inherited Marley's business, I can plainly see that Scrooge.

[Riley]

Is going to be accused of his partner's murder. No, no, Roswell. This ain't no murder mystery. It's a beautiful story about Christmas. You see, Marley's ghost comes back and haunts.

[Junior]

Scrooge. You mean that this Dickens Wants us to believe that a ghost actually materializes. And that Scrooge. That Scrooge sees the.

[Riley]

Ectoplasm. I don't know from no ectoplan. They. They didn't even have blood banks in them days. Listen, Rosma. Look, instead of reading you a Christmas carol, I'm gonna do like Molly's ghost did with Scrooge. I'm gonna take you all around town and show you how other people do at Christmas. Indeed. Yeah. Only instead of flying through the air like the ghost done, we're going to ride on buses, which is even more frightening. I guess you never seen this part of town before, huh.

[Junior]

Roswell? I don't want to see it.

[Riley]

Now. I brought you here to learn something. You've been feeling sorry for yourself and loathsome. I guess you got plenty of reason. But these people are really lonesome. Dan's got to be awful shy on real friends before he looks for company down here on skid row. But even down here, they're getting ready for Christmas. Look in this place. It's a church. A church? It's nothing but an old store, see? You know a cellar church by the architecture? Remember? Christmas didn't start in a cathedral. Look in here through the door. You want to go.

[Junior]

Anywhere? No, I don't care to mingle with people like.

[Riley]

Those. People like them? Roswell are all members of the human race, which I am also. Maybe if you live long enough and learn fast enough, someday we'll put you up for membership. Okay, Roswell. Take a gander down this street. That's quite a sight, ain't it? See all them push carts lined up? What junk? Yeah, but cheap Roswell. And people who can't afford no better buy their Christmas presents off them carts. Sometimes they spend the last money they got so somebody won't go without nothing for Christmas. Look at the old man buying a toy. That's that guy in the raggedy coat.

[Junior]

There. I suppose some child will consider that toy quite.

[Riley]

Amusing. Some kid will think it's wonderful. Wait a minute. He can't buy it. He ain't got enough money even for that. Probably cost a nickel too.

[Junior]

Much. Mr. Riley, quick, let's buy the contents of that push carton and lower the prices. Call that man.

[Riley]

Back. He won't get far away. But that's quite an idea, Roswell. And I wouldn't wonder if you just hadn't bought yourself the biggest bargain that ever come off a push cart. You just bought a piece of Santa Claus. Look, Raswell, see that lighted up window with The Christmas candle burning in.

[Junior]

It. There's a star in the window.

[Riley]

Too. Yeah, Stars on a service sleigh. I know the folks in there. They used to have a boy at home to help them keep. Merry Christmas. Tonight they don't know just where he is or when he'll be coming home. But they don't tell each other they're worried. And they keep the Christmas candle burning so that no one will think they're down harder. You want to rest a while, Roswell? We could sit on this park bench here. All.

[Junior]

Right, Mr. Riley. You've shown me some interesting places tonight. Did you have a reason for coming to this.

[Riley]

Park? Well, yeah, Roswell, I. I guess it's time I told you something. Maybe I oughtn't to, but I got a hunch it's the right thing to do. Listen, your father ain't out of town having a good time, Roswell. He isn't. He told you that so as not to spoil Christmas for you. But I think you'd be happier taking your share of the.

[Junior]

Trouble. Is my father in trouble? Where is.

[Riley]

He? Where is he? See that bench near the sidewalk, under the street light? See the fellow sitting in it, all hunched over? That's your.

[Junior]

Father. Why, what's he doing there? Where's my.

[Riley]

Mother? He's waiting for news about her. That building across the street, that's.

[Junior]

Hospital. You mean my mother's in.

[Riley]

There? No, no, no, no. Take it easy. This is where you either add to your pa's trouble or help me carry the.

[Junior]

Load. Mr. Riley, I want to go to my father.

[Riley]

And. And help him.

[Junior]

Wait. I'll be all right. And I ought to be with.

[Riley]

Him. Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead, sonny. He'll be glad to see you. You're okay, Roswell. I always figured you was, even though you was working so hard to hide.

[Junior]

It. Well, for goodness sake, Riley, where have you been? Where's.

[Riley]

Roswell? He's coming up our front walk with his old.

[Junior]

Man. He found his.

[Riley]

Father. Well, they kind of found each other. More ways than one. Listen, Peg, I got swell news. Mr. Stevenson's gonna be okay. We just heard, so I. I made him come back here with me.

[Junior]

Now. Oh, isn't that nice? Come in. Come in. Mr. Stevenson, I've just heard the good.

[Riley]

News. Hello, Mrs. Riley. Wonderful, isn't.

[Junior]

It? Here, dad, take this chair. It's been quite an ordeal for my father, you.

[Riley]

Know. Yeah, but it's okay now. It's gonna be a merry Christmas for everybody now. Hey, let's light up the Christmas.

[Junior]

Tree. Oh, it won't light. Daddy, we tried everything. It just won't.

[Riley]

Light. It won't light. It's gotta light. I wired it.

[Junior]

Myself. Oh, pardon me. Maybe this will help.

[Riley]

You. Roswell. What's that you took out of your pocket? The fuse to the Christmas tree lights. Roswell. Bab, let's put this back in a fuse box so that we can light the.

[Junior]

Tree. Hey, what's going.

[Riley]

On? We're starting. Merry Christmas. Junior, give Roswell that present you got for.

[Junior]

Us. No.

[Riley]

No. Let me give you.

[Junior]

One. Junior. Here's a big package that says, to Roswell from Santa.

[Riley]

Claus. I want you to have this.

[Junior]

Junior. Thanks, Roswell. Gosh, Pop, that's a race where I was giving.

[Riley]

Hands. Oh, saying I've been given something.

[Junior]

Else. Roswell. I hope you like turtles, because here's what I got today. Merry Christmas. A live turtle, Junior. It's just what I wanted. Merry Christmas. Oh, listen to the bell. It really is.

[Riley]

Christmas. Merry Christmas, dumplings. Merry Christmas, dear Stevenson. Merry Christmas, Junior. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.

[Junior]

Roswell. Merry Christmas. Why are you opening the.

[Riley]

Window? I want everybody to hear what I'm going to say next. Come on now, all together. Everybody from everybody in our house to everybody in your house. Merry Christmas. Before Riley comes back, I want.

[Narrator / Ken Nile]

To say Merry Christmas to the mothers and wives of America. Who have cooperated so splendidly in choosing available meat cuts when their favorite meat cuts were scarce. Merry Christmas to the stock raisers of America. Who have raised the greatest quantity of meat animals in the history of our country. Merry Christmas to the meat packers of America. Who have prepared and processed the greatest tonnage of meat on record. Even though more than 75,000 of its skilled workers have gone to war. Merry Christmas to the meat retailers of America. Who have worked hard and fairly to make the meat supply go around. And Merry Christmas to the Council on Foods and Nutrition of the American Medical association, which accepts this statement. Meat is a yardstick of protean foods. Because meat measures up to every protean meat. And now a word from the star of our show, Riley himself, William Ben.

[Riley]

Dick. With a terrible war plaguing the whole world, this is not a very Merry Christmas in too many places. The lights are not shining tonight. So perhaps now is the time for all of us to pledge our hearts and our hands to the cause for which our brothers fight. To freedom. To justice and equality for all men of goodwill everywhere. So that one day soon we all once more may share a merry.

[Narrator / Ken Nile]

Christmas. Follow the life of Riley. Next week, at the same time, Riley throws a New Year's Eve party with hilarious results. William Bendix plays Riley by arrangement with Hal Roach. This is Ken Nile saying see you next week. And don't forget, stay tuned to the Blue Network for Keeping up with the World, which follows immediately. This is The Blue Network 7:30 at Keca Los Angeles Transcribe. Your signal dealer gives the best.

[Riley]

Of service for your car to keep it running smoother and help it outlast the.

[Narrator / Ken Nile]

War. Cars last longer service Signal claim a change of friendly Signal.

[Josh Whalen]

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