Life of Riley 45-01-07 (052)Silver Gloves Boxing Tourney

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio – "Life of Riley 45-01-07 (052) Silver Gloves Boxing Tourney"

Episode Information

• Title: Life of Riley 45-01-07 (052) Silver Gloves Boxing Tourney
• Release Date: July 9, 2025
• Host/Author: Harolds Old Time Radio
• Description: Dive into the heartwarming and humorous adventures from the Golden Age of Radio. Join Chester A. Riley, a dedicated family man and enthusiast of amateur boxing, as he navigates the challenges of convincing his son to enter the Silver Gloves Boxing Tournament.

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Introduction

In this episode of "Life of Riley," Chester A. Riley (played by William Bendix) is determined to have his son, Junior Riley (Conrad Binion), participate in the Silver Gloves amateur boxing contest. Set against the backdrop of post-war America, the episode blends family dynamics, humor, and the spirited world of amateur boxing.

Main Plot

Chester A. Riley's Mission to Enlist Junior in Boxing

• [02:22] Riley persistently encourages Junior to join the Silver Gloves contest, emphasizing the benefits such as gaining confidence and popularity among peers, especially with girls.
• Riley: "Girls like men who can protect them... a man who can fight as a knight in shining armor." ([03:23])

Junior's Reluctance and Family Tensions

• Despite Riley's enthusiasm, Junior expresses doubt about his boxing skills.
• Junior: "But Papa, I don't think I box good enough to be in the Silver Gloves contest." ([02:22])
• Riley remains unwavering, taking on multiple roles as Junior's manager, trainer, and sparring partner, often leading to comical mishaps during training sessions.

Riley's Bet and Rising Stakes

• Riley makes a bet with Ike Shanahan, the barber, regarding Junior's performance in the tournament.
• Riley: "If Junior wins, Ike's got to give me a six-month supply of haircuts... If Junior loses, I gotta cut my own hair and stand in the window of Ike's barbershop with a sign around my neck." ([15:14])

The Boxing Tournament and Unexpected Twist

• At the tournament, unforeseen complications arise when Jim Gillis (John Brown), a rival, enters his son Egbert into the competition, representing the same athletic club.
• Mr. Moore: "We already have one entry from that club." ([09:01])
• Tensions escalate as the actual fight unfolds, revealing that the intended young boxers are absent, leading to Riley and Gillis stepping into the ring themselves.
• Riley: "I dare you to knock this chip off my shoulder." ([22:12])

Climactic Boxing Match

• The impromptu fight between Riley and Gillis becomes chaotic, resulting in both men and the referee getting entangled and knocking each other down.
• Jim Gillis: "This is the Battle of the century." ([25:27])
• The fight concludes abruptly without a clear winner, leaving the audience bewildered and highlighting the farcical nature of the situation.

Character Highlights

• Chester A. Riley (William Bendix): A lovable, determined father whose enthusiasm for boxing often leads to comical situations. His relationship with Junior showcases both his stubbornness and heartfelt intentions.

  • Notable Quote:
    • Riley: "Junior's my boy. Also, remember, her father's got mother love, too." ([06:17])

• Junior Riley (Conrad Binion): The reluctant son caught between his father's aspirations and his own desires. Ultimately, Junior seeks peace and personal happiness over the pressures of competition.

  • Notable Quote:
    • Junior: "I can't tell you why, Pop. Please don't ask me." ([12:09])

• Peg Riley (Dink Trout): Riley's supportive yet pragmatic wife, who balances her husband's fervor with concern for their family's well-being.

  • Notable Quote:
    • Peg Riley: "Hasn't done much for me. I'm telling you for the last time, I'm not going to let our boy grow up to be a prize fighter." ([05:32])

• Jim Gillis (John Brown): Riley's rival, whose competitive nature brings out the best and worst in Riley, leading to a chaotic showdown.

  • Notable Quote:
    • Jim Gillis: "I wouldn't be surprised if Egg Bite was kidnapped." ([22:02])

Key Scenes and Discussions

1. Training Mishaps:

   • Riley's unconventional training methods result in humorous outcomes, such as Riley giving himself a black eye while attempting to teach Junior.
   • Riley: "I just figured that I'm your sparring partner as well as your trainer. Forget I'm your father." ([04:16])

2. Negotiating with Promoter Mr. Moore:

   • Riley's interactions with the boxing promoter highlight his desperation and the lengths he's willing to go to see Junior compete.
   • Riley: "But if Jake of Jake's Meat Market is in the house, I want to order two steaks, one for each eye." ([28:26])

3. Family Intervention:

   • Peg Riley's conversation with Marilyn Morris serves as a pivotal moment, where she persuades Marilyn to support Junior's participation, shifting the episode's direction towards resolution.
   • Peg Riley: "I'm planning to make Junior my husband." ([19:28])
   • Riley: "If you're going to marry him, you should let him box. Because boxing prepares a man for married life." ([19:36])

4. The Chaotic Boxing Match:

   • The climactic fight turns into a farcical event with both fathers and the referee ending up in a tangle, reflecting the episode's comedic undertones.
   • Jim Gillis: "These prize bites come to you through the courtesy of Digger Odell, the friendly undertaker..." ([26:35])

Notable Quotes

• Riley on Mother's Role:

  • "Remember, when you keep meat on the menu, you keep getting those highest quality essential proteins." ([06:17])

• Junior's Confession:

  • "I can't tell you why, Pop. Please don't ask me." ([12:13])

• Riley's Realization:

  • "I guess I should never have depended on Junior. I guess I'm just a big dope." ([15:01])

Themes and Insights

• Parental Aspirations vs. Children's Desires:

  • The episode delves into the classic dynamic of parents pushing their children towards their own dreams, often overlooking the child's personal aspirations and comfort.

• Humor in Everyday Struggles:

  • Through Riley's comedic endeavors to train Junior, the episode showcases how humor can be found in daily challenges and family interactions.

• Community and Rivalries:

  • The boxing tournament serves as a microcosm of community interactions, where rivalries and alliances shape the narrative, culminating in unexpected outcomes.

Conclusion

"Life of Riley 45-01-07 (052) Silver Gloves Boxing Tourney" masterfully blends humor, family dynamics, and the spirited world of amateur boxing to create an engaging narrative. As Riley navigates his ambitions for Junior, the episode highlights the importance of understanding and supporting one's children, even amidst personal aspirations. With memorable characters and comedic twists, this installment stands as a testament to the enduring charm of the Golden Age of Radio.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Riley: "Girls like men who can protect them... a man who can fight as a knight in shining armor." ([03:23])
• Junior: "But Papa, I don't think I box good enough to be in the Silver Gloves contest." ([02:22])
• Peg Riley: "Hasn't done much for me. I'm telling you for the last time, I'm not going to let our boy grow up to be a prize fighter." ([05:32])
• Riley: "I guess I should never have depended on Junior. I guess I'm just a big dope." ([15:01])
• Junior: "I can't tell you why, Pop. Please don't ask me." ([12:13])

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Stay Tuned: Join us next week for another delightful episode of "Life of Riley," where familial bonds and comedic misadventures continue to entertain listeners. Presented by the American Meat Institute and brought to you by Harold's Old Time Radio.

Transcript

[Ben]

Ben hadn't had a decent night's sleep in a month. So during one of his restless nights, he booked a package trip abroad on Expedia. When he arrived at his beachside hotel, he discovered a miraculous bed slung between two trees and fell into the best sleep of his life. You were made to be rechargeable. We were made to package flights and hotels and hammocks for less. Expedia. Made to travel.

[Ken Niles]

Here he is, folks. During the day, he's William Bendix, the movie star. But every Sunday night For the last 52 weeks, he's been the star of the Life of Riley. Now we're going to hear a few words from this one year old radio star. Say something, Bill.

[William Bendix]

Da da goo goo da da.

[Ken Niles]

The American Meat Institute presents the Life of Riley Riley with William Bendix as.

[William Bendix]

Riley.

[Ken Niles]

The meat people of America. Providing a great food for a great nation. Five million farmers and ranchers raising fine meat animals. 600,000 men and women and more than 3,500 meat packing plants. 400,000 meat retailers all doing their level best to fill your daily needs. And now, on behalf of all these, the American Meat Institute brings you the Life of Riley. Like most fathers, Chester A. Riley, California war worker, is full of pride in his son Junior, and never seems to learn that pride goeth before a fall. Right now, Riley's at it again. He wants Junior to enter the Silver Gloves amateur contest and is out in the backyard trying to sell Junior the idea. Listen.

[Junior Riley]

But Papa, I don't think I box good enough to be in the Silver Gloves contest.

[William Bendix]

Oh, don't be so modest, Junior. Let me be the one who's modest. With the benefit of my training. You can't possibly lose. And don't forget, you'll be wearing the colors of the bpla.

[Junior Riley]

The bpla, Pop?

[William Bendix]

Well, sure. My club, the Brooklyn Patriots of Los Angeles, all the social and athletic clubs are entering some kit. It's for charity. And the BPLA is counting on you. Yeah, and the referee will be counting over me. No, he won't, Junior. I. I happen to know the referee. Mugsy Donovan. Personal. And Junior, he can't count up to 10. Besides, I'm your manager, your trainer, your sparring partner and your father. And all four of us say you can't lose. But, Pa. And another thing, Junior boxers are very popular. Especially with girls of the opposite sex.

[Junior Riley]

They are, Pop.

[William Bendix]

Girls like men who can protect them. A man who can fight as a knight in shining armor, a regular Sir Gallagher or Lunchalot.

[Junior Riley]

Girls like boxers, huh? Okay, Pop, I'm entering the pound.

[William Bendix]

Got up, boy. Now. Now, come on. We'll start your training right away. First, I'm going to show you a tricky uppercut. I call it my Sunday punch.

[Junior Riley]

Why, Pop?

[William Bendix]

Well, when I hit a fella with this punch, he always lands on his weekend.

[Junior Riley]

Okay, Pop, go ahead and show me.

[William Bendix]

Now, watch me. First, I faint with my left, then with my right, I bring up a haymaker like this. Where are you, Junior?

[Junior Riley]

Over here, behind you.

[Peg Riley]

Oh, listen, Pop, can't the other fella.

[Junior Riley]

Hit you when your legs are all tangled up like that?

[William Bendix]

Well, sure, I'm wide open for a right hook, but if he tries it, I'll block it with my jaw, see? Now you try it on me. Look, I'll get down on my knees so I'm more your side. Go ahead.

[Junior Riley]

Gosh, I don't want to hurt you.

[William Bendix]

I just figured that I'm your sparring partner as well as your trainer. Forget I'm your father. Don't worry, I'll duck. Come on, let me have the old one, two. Come on.

[Junior Riley]

Okay. One, two. Gosh, Pop, @ work?

[William Bendix]

Oh, yeah. You see, your trainer was so busy watching your styles that your sparring partner forgot to duck. And I think your father is getting a black eye. Come on, Peg. Let's finish up the dish at fair.

[Peg Riley]

Honest, Riley, I don't understand what's going on in that mind of yours.

[William Bendix]

Now, dumplin, don't worry about my mind. It's very simple.

[Peg Riley]

First, you invite Junior to hit you in the eye, and then as a reward, you do these dishes for him.

[William Bendix]

Well, I don't want Junior to do no more dishes, for dishwater's liable to soften up his hands.

[Peg Riley]

Hasn't done much for me. I'm telling you for the last time, I'm not going to let our boy grow up to be a prize fighter. With those broccoli ears?

[William Bendix]

Not broccoli, cauliflower. And don't worry. Junior can take care of himself. He's got my fighting blood in his veins.

[Peg Riley]

Your fighting blood? Look at that black eye he gave you.

[William Bendix]

I let him hit me to give him confidence. I think the swelling's going down a little low. When I close my good eye, I can very dimly see the icebox. There.

[Peg Riley]

That's the gas meter you're looking at. Oh, Riley, don't you think it's dangerous to let Junior fight?

[William Bendix]

Junior's my boy. Also, remember, her father's got mother love, too. Why, with me training Junior, nobody's gonna lay a glove on him. It's Like I was saying to Jim Gillis.

[Peg Riley]

Oh, so that's it. You and that Jim Gillis have been boasting to each other again.

[William Bendix]

Now, now, Peg, listen.

[Peg Riley]

And you said that Junior was a better fighter than Gillis's boy Egbert.

[William Bendix]

And he said, this time you got me all wrong. It was Gillis that said Egbert was a better fighter than Junior.

[Peg Riley]

Oh, the idea. Two grown men getting two little boys to fight each other.

[William Bendix]

Well, in the first place, it ain't fighting. It's. It's boxing.

[Peg Riley]

What's the difference?

[William Bendix]

Well, boxing's more gentlemanly. When you knock the guy's teeth out, you wear gloves. Well, and in the second place, Egbert don't figure in this at all anyway because only Junior is representing a bpla. Boy is. Gil is going to be jealous when he hears about it.

[Junior Riley]

Pop, I finished my homework. Let's go and enter me in the box.

[William Bendix]

Oh, oh, okay, sonny. Peg, we're going down to see the boxing promoter, Rosin Face Moore. Rosinface is managing the tournament.

[Peg Riley]

Oh, I give up. Now, Riley, look, promise me one thing.

[William Bendix]

Yeah.

[Peg Riley]

Arrange it so that the boy who fights Junior won't hit him.

[William Bendix]

Oh, sure, sure. Come on, champ.

[Mr. Moore]

All right, next entry.

[William Bendix]

Mr. Moore, I want to sign up for the squad schoolboy division of the Silver Gloves.

[Ken Niles]

Schoolboy?

[William Bendix]

Yeah.

[Mr. Moore]

I'm afraid you're a little late. You should have been here 25 years ago.

[Jim Gillis]

Oh.

[William Bendix]

Oh, I hate the schoolboy. I'm entering my son here battling Kid Riley. He's representing a bpla.

[Mr. Moore]

No, you're too late.

[Ben]

Ben hadn't had a decent night's sleep in a month, so during one of his restless nights, he booked a package trip abroad on Expedia. When he arrived at his beachside hotel, he discovered a miraculous bed slung between two trees and fell into the best sleep of his life. You were made to be rechargeable? We were made to package flights and hotels and hammocks for less. Expedia. Made to Travel.

[Marilyn Morris]

Lowe's knows July 4th savings are worth celebrating right now. Get up to 40% off select major appliances and get an additional 10% off two or more select major appliances. Plus get three Scott's Naturescapes. 1.5 cubic foot mulch bags for just $10. These deals are coming in hot. Lowe's, we help you Save. Valid through 7 9. Selection varies by location while supplies last. SeeLows.com for more details. Excludes Alaska and Hawaii.

[Mr. Moore]

We already have one entry from that club.

[Junior Riley]

Oh, gee, Pop, how can that be?

[William Bendix]

Well, it can't.

[Mr. Moore]

Well, it is. Mr. Gillis entered his son Egbert for the BPLA five minutes ago.

[William Bendix]

Why, the double crosser. The traitor. That kid Egbert Gillis can't represent the bpla. He's a cream puff.

[Jim Gillis]

Just a minute, Riley. I hate that crack and I don't.

[William Bendix]

Like it a lot. Skillis, that egg bird of yours couldn't fight his way through a sheet of Kleenex he could solve.

[Jim Gillis]

But who can get Kleenex today?

[William Bendix]

Look at this black guy my Junior gave me. I don't see your boy giving you no black eye.

[Jim Gillis]

Well, of course not. I brung him up better. He only fights kids his own size.

[William Bendix]

Is that so? Well, he better not pick on my Junior. My boy can lick your boy. With one of my hands tied behind your back.

[Jim Gillis]

Why, you won't. Wait a minute.

[Mr. Moore]

Just a minute.

[William Bendix]

Just a minute.

[Mr. Moore]

Just a second, man. I tell you what I'll do. I'll let down the rules and let both boys represent your club against each other. Then the winner will be the champion of the bpla.

[William Bendix]

Hello. Oh, hello, Pointy. Well, sure. I think Junior will win. What? Oh, okay, Pointy. Thanks for tipping me off. So long. Peg. Guess what.

[Peg Riley]

Guess what.

[William Bendix]

What? I just heard that Jim Gillis is having his kid trained by Slug Malloy, ex welterweight champion of the Santa Monica Pier.

[Peg Riley]

A professional. Oh, is that fair?

[William Bendix]

What a snaky thing to do. What an underhanded trick. Only a shifting, conniving weasel would do a thing like that. Why didn't I think of it?

[Peg Riley]

Riley, I'm worried about this.

[William Bendix]

Well, don't worry, Dumplin. I. I promise you that Junior won't get hurt. Boy, it's such a sure thing. I've been laying 3 to 1. The junior will win 3 to 1?

[Peg Riley]

Where are you gonna get the money to cover all those bets?

[William Bendix]

Well, who needs money? I. I bet Newly Durkin three mows of his lawn to one trim of our hedge. All I hope is Junior watches his training. Well, what do you have for lunch?

[Peg Riley]

Two sandwiches and a glass of milk and a chocolate eclair.

[William Bendix]

A chocolate eclair? Again with the custard. If you must feed them a class, please see that they're filled with meat. Oh, there's Junior now. Is that you, Champ?

[Junior Riley]

Yeah, that's me.

[William Bendix]

Well, Peg, start dishing out that grub. And, Champ, sit down at that table and start packing it away. Go ahead, kid.

[Junior Riley]

I'm not hungry.

[William Bendix]

Well, Junior, you gotta build up your waiter. Eggbert's liable to beat you.

[Junior Riley]

No he won't.

[William Bendix]

That's the way I like to hear you talk.

[Junior Riley]

Because I'm not going to fight Egbert Junior.

[William Bendix]

I didn't quite understand you. I can't hear with my mouth full.

[Junior Riley]

I'm not going to fight Egbert.

[Peg Riley]

Well, I think he's being sensible. I'm glad that's settled.

[William Bendix]

Well, it ain't settled. What do you mean you won't fight Egbert? Why won't you?

[Junior Riley]

I can't tell you why, Pop. Please don't ask me.

[William Bendix]

Junior, there's only one type of a boy who runs away from a fight.

[Junior Riley]

I can't help it. I don't want to fight. I just want to be left alone.

[William Bendix]

Junior, come back here. Peg, I know why he's running out. He's scared. He must have heard how Egbert was being trained by a professional. My own son, a coward.

[Peg Riley]

Oh, come now. How do you know?

[William Bendix]

I just got a feeling. You know me, I'm. I'm psychopathic.

[Ken Niles]

Well, Riley seems to have lost the first round in his fight to make Junior a silver Glove champ. Round two follows in just a moment, but in the meantime, this is Ken Niles speaking for me. Let me tell you what Mrs. Niles did for me at dinner last night. Saturday night, I sat down hungry. Yes, even radio announcers get that way. Hungry as a bear. Well, in she comes with a deep covered dish, hot as a firecracker. First I get a friendly fragrance, and then I take off the lid. Inside, it's brown and warm chunks of good lean beef in a steaming liquid. Fluffy islands of dumplings, carrots, onions, potatoes. I lift off a dumpling, and then I take the biggest ladle we have in the house. Scoop, scoop, fill, lift and serve. In that homey mixture on my plate are meat, vegetables, dumplings and all. The name of that mealtime masterpiece is beef stew. Bubbling body beef stew. And Mrs. Nile said, Honey, it took only about a pound of stew meat to build that stew. It only cost me two red points out of the hundred the two of us have this month. Well, ladies, that all goes to show there are still a lot of ways to keep meat on the table, even in these days of tighter rationing. Look for the low point meats in your market. Short ribs, for instance, or sausage. Just one to three points per pound. Most of the variety meats, such as kidney and hearts and pork and lamb liver are still point free. Remember, when you keep meat on the menu, you keep getting those highest quality essential proteins for meat is a yardstick of protean foods because meat measures up to every protean need. And now back to the life of Riley with William Bendix as Riley. It's round two of Riley's struggle to persuade his son to meet young Egbert Gillis in the Silver Gloves boxing tournament tonight. Junior's last minute refusal to fight left Riley down, but not quite out.

[William Bendix]

Hey, I guess I should never have depended on Junior. I guess I'm just a big dope. Well, you might have the courtesy to deny it.

[Peg Riley]

Why should I? You got yourself into this.

[Junior Riley]

Now take the consequences.

[William Bendix]

Yeah, I can just see myself paying off the bet I made with Ike Shanahan, the barber.

[Peg Riley]

You made a bet with the barber too?

[William Bendix]

Yeah. If Junior wins, Ike's got gotta give me a six month supply of haircuts. Three haircuts. If Junior loses, I gotta cut my own hair and stand in the window of Ike's barbershop with a sign around my neck which says, let Ike cut your hair or someday you look like this.

[Peg Riley]

Next time don't bet Rob.

[William Bendix]

Junior can't treat me this way even if I am his father. I'm gonna have another talk with him. Junior. Come in here. Peg, where you going?

[Peg Riley]

I got the dishes to take.

[William Bendix]

All the ships are deserting the sinking rat.

[Junior Riley]

What do you want, Pop?

[William Bendix]

Junior, you. You've been a great disappointment to me, you know that?

[Junior Riley]

I know.

[William Bendix]

And you. You still won't tell me why you won't fight egg for it tonight, huh?

[Junior Riley]

I can't tell you, Pop.

[William Bendix]

Well, you don't have to, because I know why you do? Sure. You, you. You're just afraid to spoil your good looks. But you shouldn't be. Junior. I'm the one who should be afraid. Because after all, you got them from me.

[Junior Riley]

Honest, Papa, I ain't afraid of spoiling my looks.

[Marilyn Morris]

Lowe's knows July 4th savings are worth celebrating. Right now. Get up to 40% off select major appliances and get an additional 10% off two or more select major appliances. Plus get three Scott's Naturescapes 1.5 cubic foot mulch bags for just six ten dollars. These deals are coming in hot. Lowe's. We help you save valid through 7 9. Selection varies by location while supplies last. Seelows.com for more details. Excludes Alaska and Hawaii.

[William Bendix]

But Junior, how can you run away from a fight? You were born in Brooklyn.

[Junior Riley]

Junior, I'm sorry I got you in this jam.

[William Bendix]

I don't care about myself. I don't even care about Gillis. And the boys riven me. But what I can't take is the thought that my.

[Junior Riley]

My own son is a. I'm not a coward, Pop. Honest, I ain't. It's something else.

[William Bendix]

It's. Well, yes, Junior.

[Junior Riley]

It's on account of Marilyn Morris, my girl. She said if I went in that ring, she'd never speak to me again.

[Jim Gillis]

Is that all?

[Junior Riley]

Don't laugh, Pop. You don't know what it means to be in love.

[William Bendix]

You better not let your mother hear that. I know plenty about love. And it's just like General Sherman said, love is war. Listen, Junior, suppose Marilyn said she'd let you fight.

[Junior Riley]

Boy, if she only would, Pop. I'd get in that ring and tear Egbert to pieces. He's always trying to get Marilyn away from me.

[William Bendix]

Junior, get your trunks and bathrobe together and be ready to leave for the arena on a minute's notice.

[Dumplin Riley]

Sit down, Mr. Riley, won't you?

[William Bendix]

Oh, thanks, Marilyn. Now, now, you sit down too, huh?

[Dumplin Riley]

Now, what did you want to see me about, Mr. Riley?

[William Bendix]

Well, well, well.

[Dumplin Riley]

Well.

[William Bendix]

Happy New Year.

[Dumplin Riley]

Thank you. Same to you.

[William Bendix]

Same to you, too. Well, Marilyn, I believe in coming right to the point. I'm here on a sort of a peace mission. You gotta let Junior fight tonight.

[Dumplin Riley]

Oh, I'm sorry, but I don't approve of fighting.

[William Bendix]

But, Marilyn, fighting builds a boy up. It makes a he man out of him. And girls like he men. Look at Van Johnson. Look at Frank Sinatra. Oh, no. Look back at Van Johnson.

[Dumplin Riley]

Well, maybe that's so, but I just don't want Junior's ears to look like Brussels sprouts.

[William Bendix]

Cauliflower.

[Dumplin Riley]

Mr. Riley, you may as well know now as later. I'm planning to make Junior my husband.

[William Bendix]

You are? Well, in that case, I'll have to double his 50 cent allowance.

[Dumplin Riley]

Oh, we won't get married for a little while. We're thinking of June 9, 1956.

[William Bendix]

Well, if you're going to marry him, you should let him box. Because boxing prepares a man for married life. I. I mean, if Junior learns now how to take it on the chin, when he's married and older, he can take it on both of his chins. So, what do you say? Let Junior fight, huh?

[Dumplin Riley]

Oh, Junior's perfectly free to do what he wants. All I said was if he fights, I'll never speak to him again.

[William Bendix]

You call that freedom? Marilyn, are you sure you were never married before?

[Dumplin Riley]

Why, Mr. Riley, I was only kidding.

[William Bendix]

Listen, Marilyn. Marilyn, if you don't let Junior fight tonight and he loses by default, Junior won't have no self respect. And when A woman makes a man lose his self respect, he can never forgive her.

[Dumplin Riley]

Oh, I never looked at it like that. I wouldn't want junior to. Mr. Riley, I've changed my mind.

[William Bendix]

Oh, that's great.

[Dumplin Riley]

It's my duty to see that Junior wins.

[William Bendix]

Oh, don't worry. I think he'll win.

[Dumplin Riley]

I know he'll win.

[William Bendix]

Ah, you're a swell kid, Marilyn. And. And it's okay for you to marry Junior. I'm. I'm hereby giving you his hand. The one with the paycheck in it. Hello, Mr. Moore. How's a big promoter?

[Mr. Moore]

Fine, Riley, fine. We're going to have a capacity crowd tonight. Yeah, A lot of people want to see your boy mix it with young Gillis.

[William Bendix]

Oh, sure, sure. All my pals are out there, too. And Battlin Kid Riley is all set. Where's more?

[Mr. Moore]

Right here, Mr. Gillis. Why, what's wrong?

[Jim Gillis]

Where's Egg Bite? Have you seen my Egg Bite?

[William Bendix]

Where is he?

[Mr. Moore]

Don't you know?

[Dumplin Riley]

No.

[Jim Gillis]

The last I know, he was going over to see some little kid, Marilyn Morris. I just called her. She said he never showed up. The kid is missing, huh?

[William Bendix]

He's smart.

[Mr. Moore]

Now, listen, Gillis, you're putting me in a fine spot. There's a big crowd upstairs waiting to see the Riley Gillis bout. We don't give him one, we gotta turn back the money, the charity loses, and I look like a heel.

[William Bendix]

My Junior's here. He ain't afraid.

[Jim Gillis]

My Egg Bite ain't afraid. He's just missing.

[Mr. Moore]

Hey, I wish I could find a substitute fight.

[Jim Gillis]

I wouldn't be surprised if Egg Bite was kidnapped.

[William Bendix]

Ah, why would anybody kidnap Egbert?

[Mr. Moore]

Somewhere I gotta find another fight.

[Jim Gillis]

I know why, and I think I know who done it.

[William Bendix]

Gillis, who do you think you're looking at?

[Jim Gillis]

Who do you think I'm looking at?

[William Bendix]

I asked you first. Somewhere.

[Mr. Moore]

I gotta find another. Wait a minute. I got one right under my nose.

[William Bendix]

You want to make something out of this, Gillis?

[Jim Gillis]

I do if you do.

[William Bendix]

Okay. I. I dare you to knock this chip off my shoulder.

[Jim Gillis]

There ain't no chip on your shoulder.

[William Bendix]

Well, I dare you to put one on.

[Mr. Moore]

Now, wait a minute, gentlemen. Wait a minute.

[William Bendix]

Wait a minute.

[Mr. Moore]

Never fight for nothing. Now, there's a big crowd upstairs waiting to see the Gillis Riley bot. Well, they're going to see it.

[William Bendix]

But the kids can't fight. His kid ain't here.

[Mr. Moore]

Well, your name's Riley, ain't it? And his name is Gillis, ain't it?

[William Bendix]

I am putting you two in the ring.

[Mr. Moore]

Gillis vs Riley, just as advertised.

[Jim Gillis]

Now, wait a minute.

[Junior Riley]

Lie quiet on this table, Pop, so.

[William Bendix]

I can rub you down.

[Junior Riley]

You ain't nervous, are you, Pop?

[William Bendix]

Who, me? If you notice me shaking, I'm just loosening up my muscles. Why don't we keep going, Pop?

[Junior Riley]

Don't forget your old Sunday punch.

[William Bendix]

Yeah, but this here is only Saturday.

[Junior Riley]

What's worrying you, Pop?

[William Bendix]

Huh? Nothing. I'm only thinking about poor old Gillis. Him and me been pals for years. Now I gotta go upstairs and punch him. All over the ring, I hope. Okay, Riley, let's go now.

[Mr. Moore]

Yeah, that crowd won't wait much longer. Come on, let's get into the ring.

[William Bendix]

Oh, okay. I'm. I'm ready.

[Mr. Moore]

Well, don't be so nervous.

[William Bendix]

I. I ain't nervous. Wait. Where's my gloves?

[Mr. Moore]

They're tied to your hands.

[William Bendix]

Where's my hands? Out. Never mind. I won't need them. Let's.

[Peg Riley]

Oh, hello, Marilyn. Well, come in, dear.

[Dumplin Riley]

Thank you, Mrs. Riley. May I hear the fights on your radio? They won't let me listen at home.

[Peg Riley]

Why, yes. Come into the living room. But I thought you didn't like boxing, Marilyn.

[Dumplin Riley]

I don't, but I just want to hear them announce the Junior wins by default.

[Peg Riley]

How do you know he'll win by default?

[Dumplin Riley]

You'll see.

[Peg Riley]

Well, I'll tune the radio in.

[Jim Gillis]

And now, folks, it's time for the main bout. Gillis versus Riley. This is the fight we've been waiting for, folks.

[Dumplin Riley]

They'll have a long wait.

[Junior Riley]

Oh, listen.

[Peg Riley]

Something's happened.

[Jim Gillis]

And now the two contestants are climbing into the ring. Here's Riley and here's Gillis.

[Dumplin Riley]

I don't understand it. Egbert can't be there.

[Jim Gillis]

Official weights of the two contestants. Gillis, 180 pounds.

[Mr. Moore]

What?

[Jim Gillis]

And Riley weighs in at 195. 100.

[Junior Riley]

What's happened to Junior?

[Jim Gillis]

Are they getting a big cheer, folks? After all, they stepped in at the last moment to take the place of their son. Junior Riley and Egbert Gillis.

[Peg Riley]

Oh, Marilyn, it's not Junior and Egbert. It's my husband and Mr. Gillis.

[Dumplin Riley]

The men are fighting each other. I knew it couldn't be Egbert, cuz I locked him in our cellar.

[William Bendix]

You did what?

[Dumplin Riley]

So Junior could win by default.

[Jim Gillis]

There is the gun. The fight is on. Now if they'll only come out of their corners. Now they're up off their stools. They rush each other and oh, they miss each other and land on the ropes. This is the Battle of the century. These bumps couldn't hit each other in a hundred years.

[Peg Riley]

Oh, jeez, this is dreadful.

[Jim Gillis]

Now the referee pulls them back in the center. Now they spar. Go righty. Let's go with a haymaker. And wham. The referee is down. The referee is up again. Now he's down again. It was Gillis. Got a bad time. Now both fighters are picking up the referee. Oh, Gillis trips Riley. They drop the referee rattle. These sucks killers give it a slugs, Riley. The referee is up. No, he's down.

[William Bendix]

Down.

[Jim Gillis]

They're all down. I can't see what's going on. Well, that's the end of round one, folks. And what a fight. I wish you could be here. Well, this is for charity, folks. They say charity begins at home. And that's where Riley and Gillis wish they were.

[Peg Riley]

And that's where they ought to be, those two.

[Jim Gillis]

And remember, folks, these prize bites come to you through the courtesy of Digger Odell, the friendly undertaker, whose motto is, when you think of foxy, think of me. Round two. The men come out. No, wait, they're not coming out. That last round seems to have winded them. Well, this will be a no decision, Val. And as.

[William Bendix]

Yes, yes.

[Jim Gillis]

Riley is coming out punchy, but game. Now Gillis is up, too. Oh, what a fight. They stagger to the center. No, Gillis is down. But Riley never touched him. He must have fainted. Riley is counting over Gillis. I forgot to say the referee didn't come out for this round.

[William Bendix]

3, 4.

[Dumplin Riley]

My, I thought prize fights lasted longer than this.

[Peg Riley]

I think they're supposed to, but not with those two in there.

[Jim Gillis]

7, 8, 9, 10. It's all over, folks. Riley is holding up Riley's hand. The winner, Chester Riley. Come over here to the microphone, Riley. Say a few words to the radio audience. What's the matter, Riley? You too windy to talk?

[William Bendix]

No, I got plenty of wind. Only it goes in and out of my mouth too fast. It was a great fight, folks, and.

[Jim Gillis]

The best man won. I feel fine. Gillis never laid a glove on me.

[William Bendix]

But if Jake of Jake's Meat Market is in the house, I want to order two steaks, one for each eye.

[Ken Niles]

The Rileys will be back in just a moment.

[William Bendix]

Moment.

[Ken Niles]

Well, this is about the time of year when most folks get hungry for a good sausage breakfast. Not just on Sunday, but now and then throughout the week. Well, as long as pork sausage takes only two or three points a pound, I say let's have it. And if you want to stretch the sausage out A little. You can make mine with cottage fried potatoes on the side and some good cream gravy. Or give me my breakfast sausage pieced out with scrambled eggs or crumbs, crisp fried mush or some nice red apple slices browned in the drippings. But gimme sausage. And while I'm talking about it, I'll add that the tasty lean in that sausage has the right kind of proteins, the kind that everyone, old or young, needs to build and rebuild tissues. All meat has these proteins of highest quality. Meat is a yardstick of protean foods because meat measures up to every protean meat. All these nutritional statements made about meat are accepted by the Council on Foods and Nutrition of the American Medical Association.

[William Bendix]

Folks, this is William Bendix getting personal for just a moment. Tonight is something of an occasion for all of us who are a part of the life of Raleigh. This is our 52nd program and even with Raleigh's arithmetic that makes us one year old. Thank you. For a year now I've wanted to pay public tribute to the fine actors who comprise our regular cast. First, Riley's wife Dumplin, played by a very, very pretty gal, Paula Winslow.

[Peg Riley]

Oh, Bill Bendix.

[William Bendix]

When television comes, her blush will be a sensation. Riley's son Junior is Conrad Binion, and Jim Gillis is John Brown. Not heard in tonight's story are Riley's daughter Babs, who is Sharon Douglas. Waldo Binney, played by Dink Trout. Digger o', Dell, the merry undertaker, played also by John Brown. And of course, our announcer, Ken. Meat is a yardstick of protean foods. Niles, for all of us, it's been a pleasant privilege to meet you at your radio each Sunday. And if we've succeeded in giving you a smile or two, well, that's the nicest birthday present we could possibly have. Good night and see you next week.

[Ken Niles]

Follow the life of Riley presented by the American Meat Institute next week at the same time, William Bendix plays Riley by arrangement with Hal Roach. The Life of Riley is written by Ashmead Scott, Alan Lipscott and Reuben Shipp. It is directed by Don Bernard with music by Lou Coslow. Our engineer is Thor Lacroix. This is Ken Nile saying, see you next week. This is The Bull Network, 7:30 at KECA Los Angeles.

[Marilyn Morris]

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