Major Bowes # 19xx.xx.xx AFRS Rebroadcast

Summary

Podcast Title: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Major Bowes #19xx.xx.xx AFRS Rebroadcast
Release Date: March 25, 2025
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio

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Introduction

In this special rebroadcast of the Armed Forces Radio Service classic, hosted by Major Edward Bose, listeners are treated to an engaging evening of entertainment crafted specifically for American Armed Forces and their allies. The episode features a variety of amateur performances, including musical acts, comedic impressions, and heartfelt storytelling, all reminiscent of the Golden Age of Radio.

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Opening Performances

The episode opens with a spirited welcome from Major Edward Bose, who introduces the evening's lineup:

"Thank you and good evening, friends. Whirling goes her weekly wheel of fortune for the 461st time around. Around she goes. And there she stops. Nobody knows."
— Major Edward Bose [00:35]

Private First Class Don Crist's Musical Showcase

Private First Class Don Crist from the Indian Town Gap Military Reservation takes the stage with his marimba performances. He presents a medley that showcases his versatility:

• "Falling In Love With Someone With Four Mallets"
• "Dance of the Hours"

However, when prompted to sing, Don surprises the audience by engaging in double talk, blending intelligible lyrics with gibberish, creating a humorous and entertaining effect.

"You never know just how much I miss you. You never know just how much I care..."
— Private First Class Don Crist [04:07]

Major Bose humorously addresses Don's performance:

"That remains to be seen. All right, go in."
— Major Edward Bose [04:02]

Joseph DeMarco's Contribution

From the 3rd Naval District Headquarters, Joseph DeMarco, a Specialist, Male, 3rd Class, discusses his role in handling Navy mail, highlighting the importance of communication among troops.

"You handle Navy mail, correct?"
— Major Edward Bose [03:47]

"Yes, Major. Buy the truckload. The more mail, the better. I like it."
— Joseph DeMarco [03:47]

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Musical Interludes and Impressions

The program seamlessly transitions between performances and light-hearted conversations.

The Shipmates' Instrumental Sextet

An instrumental sextet known as The Shipmates presents band impressions, adding a lively musical interlude to the program. They perform impressions of various bands, including:

• Tommy Darcy
• Lieutenant Eddie Duchin

"That's the Shipmates, an instrumental sextet and they do band impressions."
— Major Edward Bose [05:57]

Sergeant Carl DeSoto's Talents

Sergeant Carl DeSoto showcases his multifaceted talents by singing, playing the guitar, and tap dancing on a chair, adding a dynamic performance that captivates the audience.

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Guest Appearance: Larry Best and the Radio Ramblers

A highlight of the episode is the appearance of Larry Best, the guest star and member of the celebrated Radio Ramblers trio.

"Recently, the team was voted by a leading theatrical magazine, the top comedy trio of the country."
— Major Edward Bose [15:50]

Larry Best shares his journey in entertainment, discussing the challenges and triumphs he faced while building his career with the support of Major Bose's units.

"You might well be, sir, because, well, I guess you started the whole thing. You know, the fact, you know, I met Mrs. Best on one of your units and we were married while we were both in the unit."
— Larry Best [17:23]

He demonstrates his knack for comedic impressions, delivering a lively portrayal of a glamour girl from Brooklyn boarding the subway:

"Say, you know, I went out last night and did I have a time, I'm telling you."
— Gwendolyn (Larry Best's Impression) [18:01]

Larry continues with an impersonation of the famous screen actor Billy Gilbert, humorously differentiating between salt and pepper with whimsical instructions:

"You start to smell the salt first, like this."
— Billy Gilbert (Larry Best's Impression) [21:27]

The segment is filled with laughter and applause, showcasing Larry's impressive range and comedic timing.

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Gene Logan's Scotch Medley

Gene Logan, a Specialist Recruit, Third Class, performs a heartfelt medley of Scotch songs, evoking nostalgia and camaraderie among listeners.

"I love the Lassie a bonny hill and Lassie she's as sweet as the lily in the dell..."
— Gene Logan [13:59]

Her performance is briefly interrupted by another Wayfair advertisement, but Gene resumes with the following lines:

"There's a wee wifey waiting and a wee Bart and then if you can say it's a Bro Richtman licht nicht and you're all rich, you can."
— Gene Logan [14:51]

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The Carroll Sisters' Harmonies

Towards the episode's conclusion, the Carroll Sisters deliver distinctive harmonies, adding a melodious touch to the evening. Their performance includes a mix of original songs and parodies that reflect life in the armed forces.

"Leave us, Lacy, we're in love in some other life we was once man and wife in an old friendship hole..."
— Carroll Sisters [23:23]

Their harmonious voices and engaging lyrics resonate with the audience, encapsulating the spirit of unity and love amidst the challenges of military life.

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Humorous Skits and Dialogues

Interwoven with musical performances are comedic skits and dialogues that highlight the lighter side of military camaraderie.

Mrs. Anthony's Divorce Dilemma

In a comedic portrayal, Mrs. Anthony discusses her husband's sudden decision to seek a divorce after 30 years of marriage, humorously questioning whether she should prepare supper for the lawyer.

"Mr. Anthony, he wants a divorce after 30 years. I was enslaved like a dog."
— Mrs. Anthony [20:27]

The skit delves into the absurdity of the situation, showcasing the comedic talents of Larry Best and the improvised humor of the cast.

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Closing Performances

As the program winds down, the Carroll Sisters return with another set, continuing their commentary on the manpower shortage with witty lyrics.

"They're either too young or too old, too grey or too grassy green..."
— Carroll Sisters [26:53]

Their performance encapsulates the day's themes, blending humor with poignant observations about military life.

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Conclusion

The episode concludes with a heartfelt acknowledgment of the Armed Forces, reinforcing the bond between the troops and the entertainers who uplift their spirits. Major Edward Bose signs off with appreciation for the performers and the audience, leaving listeners with a sense of camaraderie and nostalgia for the Golden Age of Radio.

"This rebroadcast is a presentation of the Armed Forces Radio Service."
— Major Edward Bose [30:17]

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Notable Quotes

• Major Edward Bose [00:35]: "Whirling goes her weekly wheel of fortune for the 461st time around. Around she goes. And there she stops. Nobody knows."

• Private First Class Don Crist [04:07]: "You never know just how much I miss you. You never know just how much I care..."

• Larry Best [17:23]: "You might well be, sir, because, well, I guess you started the whole thing."

• Mrs. Anthony [20:27]: "Mr. Anthony, he wants a divorce after 30 years. I was enslaved like a dog."

• Carroll Sisters [26:53]: "They're either too young or too old, too grey or too grassy green..."

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Final Thoughts

This rebroadcast of Major Bowes offers a delightful glimpse into the past, blending musical talent, comedic brilliance, and heartwarming stories that resonate with both military personnel and civilian listeners. Harold's Old Time Radio masterfully preserves the essence of these timeless programs, ensuring that the charm and camaraderie of the Golden Age of Radio continue to entertain future generations.

Transcript

[Stiles MacKenzie / Nicole Byer]

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[Wayfair Voiceover]

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[Major Edward Bose]

Major Bose and his Amateurs. A special rebroadcast for the American Armed forces and their allies. And here is Major Edward Bose. Thank you and good evening, friends. Whirling goes her weekly wheel of fortune for the 461st time around. Around she goes. And there she stops. Nobody knows. From Indian Town Gap Military Reservation, Private First Class Don Crist. There he is at the microphone. He plays marimba. Your part of the second contingent from the Gap has so much talent there. We were compelled to take you fellows in two waves. Where's your hometown, Dan? Philadelphia, sir. What are you going to play? I'm Falling In Love With Someone With Four Mallets. Look out. And then the Dance of the Hours. All right. By Punky. All right, let's have it. All right. All right. That's Private First Class Don Crist of the Indian Town Gap Military Reservation. Now, first, from the 3rd Naval District Headquarters, Joseph DeMarco, Specialist, Male, 3rd Class. You handle Navy mail, correct?

[Private First Class Don Crist / Joseph DeMarco / Sergeant Carl DeSoto]

Yes, Major. Buy the truckload. The more mail, the better. I like it.

[Major Edward Bose]

Good for you. That's the idea. And what are you going to sing now?

[Private First Class Don Crist / Joseph DeMarco / Sergeant Carl DeSoto]

You'll never know.

[Major Edward Bose]

That remains to be seen. All right, go in.

[Private First Class Don Crist / Joseph DeMarco / Sergeant Carl DeSoto]

You never know just how much I miss you. You never know just how much I care. If there is some other way to prove that I love you. I swear I don't know how. You'll never know. If you don't know now. You'll never know. Darling, just how much I care for you. Why, the first time I met you. I knew that I'd ome Stimbad Weiss, you know, with a cranket fading sign. Gosh, why did it have to happen? If only you'd fire Picay. You know, the Renzeronoporus. I wouldn't razz a cali or just fly a mucin. But nor did slash molten on a print. You know what? It may attack the vegetas. And when I held you in my arms and I looked into your lovely blue eyes. I knew then I should have mishtimbo device, you know, to crack at Bathing time, of course. Oh, honey, darling, if you don't eat less molten on a print, I just may attack the vegetas. He'll never know if you don't know now.

[Major Edward Bose]

All right, all right. That Joseph DeMarco, specialist, male, third class. And you may be relieved the listening audience to know that your hearing is perfectly all right. As a matter of fact, Joe warned you. What? What he was going to sing. You'll never know. Instead of basic English, he used double talk. All right, now here's the shipmate that sailor slipped on a nickel. Can you be there? You know, if you don't get that nickel back. Let me talk to me before you go. I'll give you another one because that's a universal price. 5 cents. All right. This is the Shipmates, an instrumental sextet and they do band impressions. Your men are under the jurisdiction of the 3rd Naval District, right? Right, sir. From the Navy receiving station, Major. All right, I have your list. And my compliments to your commanding officer, my friend Captain Wiest. Now first, your impression of Tommy Darcy. All right, Harry. Jane. All right. Now the next is your impre.

[Stiles MacKenzie / Nicole Byer]

We interrupt this program to bring you an important Wayfair message. Wayfair's got style tips for every home. This is Nicole Byer helping you make those rooms flyer. Today's style tip when it comes to making a statement. Treat bold patterns like neutrals. Go wild like an untamed animal. Print area rug under a rustic farmhouse table. From wayfair.com Ooh, beers. This has been your Wayfair style tip to keep those interiors superior.

[Wayfair Voiceover]

Wayfair every style. Every home.

[Stiles MacKenzie / Nicole Byer]

Find your AMEX card and earn rewards on everyday purchases like coins on groceries. See if you pre qualify with no impact on your credit score. Learn more about our [e-mail] check 4 offers. Your credit score may be impacted if you submit an application. Terms apply.

[Major Edward Bose]

Lieutenant Eddie Dushan. All right, that's an impersonation of Lieutenant Eddie Duchin, U.S. naval Reserve. I now finish this number. An invitation of Gene Cooper. All right. An instrumental sextet from the 3rd Naval District. They do man impressions and they call the Shipmates. Now, from Indiantown gap Military Reservation, Sergeant Carl DeSoto. A handsome fellow. He sings, plays guitar and tap dances on a chair. What are you going to sing, Sergeant Major? Bosnia. Chilito lindo. Hmm. Spanish for beautiful heaven. But you're not Spanish, are you? No, sir.

[Private First Class Don Crist / Joseph DeMarco / Sergeant Carl DeSoto]

That's an adopted name.

[Larry Best]

My father was born on an Indian reservation in South Dakota.

[Private First Class Don Crist / Joseph DeMarco / Sergeant Carl DeSoto]

He's a Sioux. His name is Highcliffe Strayhorse. And I am known as Ironheart.

[Major Edward Bose]

Any way you look at it, Sergeant, you're an American.

[Larry Best]

My dad was a lieutenant in Colonel.

[Private First Class Don Crist / Joseph DeMarco / Sergeant Carl DeSoto]

Teddy Roosevelt's Rough Riders during the Spanish American War.

[Major Edward Bose]

Teddy Roosevelt. That, Teddy Roosevelt, is one of my fondest memories. And Teddy Jr. Is one of my dearest friends, I'm happy to say. All right. Your song first, Ciolido. L can't.

[Private First Class Don Crist / Joseph DeMarco / Sergeant Carl DeSoto]

I know your airs.

[Major Edward Bose]

Now he's on up in the chair Dancing on the seat of a chair. Sgt. Carl DeSoto, Indiantown Gap Military Reservation, whose father is a sioux Indian. From 3rd Naval District headquarters. A Wave. Gene Logan, Specialist Recruit a third class. She sings a medley of Scotch songs.

[Gene Logan]

I love the Lassie a bonny hill and Lassie she's as sweet as the lily in the dell she's as pure as the heather the bonny bloomin heather She's Mary my Scotch bluebell In a body Meet a body Coming through the rock In a body Kiss a body Need a body cry.

[Wayfair Voiceover]

Yet all the.

[Gene Logan]

Lads they smile at me Wind coming through the ra. Just a wee dolkin, Doris Just a wee draft, that's all Just a wee dolkin, Doris before we gang a wa. There's a wee wifey waiting and a wee Bart and then if you can say it's a Bro Richtman licht nicht and you're all rich, you can. If you can say then you're a richt, you can.

[Major Edward Bose]

All right. Gene Logan, Wave specialist recruit a third class. On January 7, 1937, that's seven years ago, Larry Best first crossed our path. He told us he could impersonate everything and everybody. That is a big order. But Larry went on to prove it. His trials and tribulations. Getting started as an entertainer made a moving story. Try as he would, no one would pay any attention to him. By way of encouragement, I warned him that the road to success was paved with hard knocks, but that sometime, maybe that very night, he would click. And click he did, while theatre managers all over the country asked for his services. For several seasons thereafter, he toured in our units. At present, he is teamed with two other fellows, and they comprise the famous Radio Ramblers. Recently, the team was voted by a leading theatrical magazine, the top comedy trio of the country. And now we present our guest star of the evening, guest star of our own making, Larry Best. There he is. Larry, it's good to see you in your original setting. Tell us how you're making out.

[Larry Best]

Well, we've been very, very fortunate, Major.

[Major Edward Bose]

We.

[Larry Best]

This is our first open week. In the past year and I guess we needed a rest. But next Monday we open in Philadelphia.

[Major Edward Bose]

That's grand. Does Mrs. Best travel with you?

[Larry Best]

Mostly did for a while. But now we have one of our own little units at home.

[Major Edward Bose]

I'm happy for all three of you.

[Larry Best]

You might well be, sir, because, well, I guess you started the whole thing. You know, the fact, you know, I, I, I met Mrs. Best on one of your units and we were married while we were both in the unit.

[Major Edward Bose]

You really made a career of the units. All right. Larry does an impression of a girl on the subway.

[Larry Best]

Well, this, this is my impression of the more or less typical glamour girl from Brooklyn. The girl gets on the subway and no sooner hi Brooklyn, no sooner does she get in the subway when she talks to a girlfriend of her. Something like this.

[Gwendolyn]

Say, you know, I went out last night and did I have a time, I'm telling you.

[Wayfair Voiceover]

With who?

[Gwendolyn]

Well, you remember that tall, good looking fellow with a blond wavy hair and the blue eyes? Yeah, the one, the very mannish looking one. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you remember him. He was the one with the muscles on his muscles. Yeah. Well, I went out with his brother. Oh, did we have a time. It was terrific. I'm telling you, this will kill you. Get a load of this. So I looked at him and he looks at me and I says to him, I said, look here, just what kind of a girl do you think I am? So he told me. Then he says to me. Well, he says, please, Mabel. I don't know why he calls me Mabel. I don't like that name. He says to me. Anyway, he says, please, Mabel. He says, the fellow's got to have some rights. So I gave him some rights and.

[Private First Class Don Crist / Joseph DeMarco / Sergeant Carl DeSoto]

A couple of lefts too.

[Gwendolyn]

I let him know where I was from. So we're coming. Here's my station. I gotta get off now. Listen, I'll see you at lunch at 1:00. Who did you hear? It's wonderful.

[Major Edward Bose]

So long.

[Gwendolyn]

I'll see you.

[Major Edward Bose]

All right, Larry, Harry, let's, let's have your impression of Mr. Anthony. Session.

[Larry Best]

The Goodwill Court featuring John J. Anthony. And now, Mr. Anthony. The case of Mrs. A.K.

[Mrs. Anthony]

Mr. Anthony. Mr. Anthony, I am married to the same husband for over 30 years. It's possible. And just last week my husband said to me, very nonchalantly, he said, gwendolyn. That's what he called me. Gwendoline. That's my maiden name. Anyway. Of course, he's a little crazy. Anyway, he says to me.

[Larry Best]

Is there something wrong, madam?

[Mrs. Anthony]

Yes, it's Just the upper plates.

[Private First Class Don Crist / Joseph DeMarco / Sergeant Carl DeSoto]

It's loose.

[Mrs. Anthony]

That's better. So it comes out like a whistle, like, you understand? So he says, just the bottom plates.

[Major Edward Bose]

Now.

[Mrs. Anthony]

That'S better. So he says to me grand. He says, I want a divorce. He wants to divorce me after 30 years. I was in slave like a dog.

[Gene Logan]

And you ever think about the house.

[Gwendolyn]

To make him happy, you know I.

[Gene Logan]

Have to take away.

[Larry Best]

Yourself, my dear woman, will you please carry on with your story? We only have three hours left.

[Wayfair Voiceover]

Three hours.

[Mrs. Anthony]

All right, I'll try to cut it short. So anyway, so last night he says to me that next Friday he's going to bring his lawyer to our house. Mr. Anthony, he wants a divorce and already he's bringing his lawyer. Well, my problem is this. Should I make supper for the lawyer too?

[Major Edward Bose]

Larry, do you still impersonate the famous screen actor Billy Gilbert? Distinguishing between salt and pepper. We'll have time for that, I think. Let's have it, huh?

[Larry Best]

Yeah.

[Major Edward Bose]

Okay, Billy Gilbert.

[Private First Class Don Crist / Joseph DeMarco / Sergeant Carl DeSoto]

Look, I want to show you the difference between the salt and the pepper. Now, we know that the salt is white and the pepper is black. But there's only one way to tell the difference. It just got a smell it. So you start to smell the salt first, like this.

[Larry Best]

You.

[Private First Class Don Crist / Joseph DeMarco / Sergeant Carl DeSoto]

Nothing happened. You see the bell eyes? That's because it's desert. Now you gotta belly the pepper. So you take your time. Don't rush. You got to push a sn of the pepper. Look, the people sitting down front better move back. You dip your snazzle gently. Just take a small smell like this.

[Major Edward Bose]

You.

[Private First Class Don Crist / Joseph DeMarco / Sergeant Carl DeSoto]

Just take. You smell your patience. That's the pedal.

[Major Edward Bose]

Major Bose and his amateurs were presented especially for you men and women in the armed forces of the United Nations. Now, in the time that remains, let's listen to the distinctive harmonies of the Carroll sisters.

[Wayfair Voiceover]

I stand here at good old Duffy where the ale eat meat to eat me Red corpse suckles racin I await for you, my sweet in me hand is a diamond on we should holler it out to the world Leave us no longer pretend that you are merely a friend for it is rolled in the sky Though we have tried to act cold suddenly low and get whole Leave us faces we're in love Leave us not blush with no shame if people bandage our mail Shoes and old rice are worth dreaming of Stories like in our twice could win the pot filler prize. Leave us, Lacy, we're in love in some other life we was once man and wife in an old friendship hole we was mated now mine love for thine Just as thine love for mine has been reincarcerated so why plight me troth at your feet? Don't leave me life uncomplete I'm like a turtle without a doubt Love light ain't meant to be He.

[Private First Class Don Crist / Joseph DeMarco / Sergeant Carl DeSoto]

No, no, no.

[Wayfair Voiceover]

Perish forbid. Leave us faces we're in love, Leave us not get remote and make me out at gold. We're in love, Leave us Face it, we're in love.

[Major Edward Bose]

Well now, don't take the Carroll sisters too seriously. But they're going to continue with a complaint about the manpower shortage.

[Wayfair Voiceover]

You marched away and left the town as empty as can be. I can't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me. For there is no secret love that the dreadboard didn't discover. They're either too young or too old they're either too grey or too grassy green the pickens are poor and the crop is lean what's good is in the army what's left will never harm me. They're either too old or too young so, darling, you'll never get stuck Tomorrow I'll go hiking with that eagle Scout on land I get a call from Grandpa For a snappy game of chess I'm finding it easy to stay good as gold. They're either too young or too old Too old They're either too warm or too cold they're either too fast or too fast asleep so, darling, believe me I'm yours to keep. There isn't any gravy the gravy's in the navy they're either too fresh or too stale There is no available mail I will confess to one romance I'm sure you will allow. He tries to serenade me but his voice is changing Now I'm finding it easy to keep things controlled they're either too young or too old they're either too bald or too bold I'm down to the wheelchair and fastening My heart just refuses to get upset I simply can't compel it to with no marines to tell it to I'm either their first breath of spring or else I'm their last little fling. I get a fossil or adolescent pup I either have to hold him off or hold him up while the battle is on. But the fortress will hold Cause all that are left.

[Major Edward Bose]

This rebroadcast is a presentation of the Armed Forces Radio Service.