Mama Bloom's Brood 34-xx-xx (11) Jake Buys a New Car

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Mama Bloom's Brood 34-xx-xx (11) Jake Buys a New Car"

Introduction

In this engaging episode of Harold's Old Time Radio, titled "Mama Bloom's Brood 34-xx-xx (11) Jake Buys a New Car," listeners are transported to the charming world of the Bloom family. Set against the backdrop of the Golden Age of Radio, the episode delves into the humorous and heartfelt dynamics of a family deliberating over the purchase of a new automobile. Released on July 9, 2025, this installment masterfully captures the essence of pre-television family evenings spent around the radio.

Setting the Scene

The episode begins in the evening at the Bloom household, where Mama, Papa (Jake), and their two daughters are gathered in the living room. The family is contemplating their evening activities, setting the stage for the ensuing discussion about buying a new car.

The Family Dynamics

From the outset, the interactions between Jake and his family highlight a blend of authority and playful resistance. Jake expresses reluctance to let his daughters go for a walk, citing concerns about their well-being:

Jake (00:14): "Children, why don't you stay home?"

Mama counters his reservations, emphasizing the benefits of fresh air:

Mama (00:15): "Let them go for a walk, Papa. Fresh air is very injurious for you. It puts new life in the system."

This exchange underscores the loving yet authoritative dynamics within the family.

The Car Purchase Debate

The crux of the episode revolves around the discussion of purchasing a new car. Mama hints at Jake's intention to buy a new automobile, sparking the daughters' interest and skepticism:

Mama (03:04): "Maybe it'll be a case of love from first sight anyway."

Jake becomes defensive about his relationship with the automobile salesman, revealing his concerns about the potential influence the new car might have on him:

Jake (02:26): "He's not a friend of mine. He ain't the knee pants business."

The daughters, determined to have a say in the purchase, begin to voice their preferences for the car's features, colors, and styles, injecting humor into the negotiation.

The Daughters' Persuasion

As the conversation unfolds, the daughters advocate passionately for specific car attributes, such as color schemes and sporty designs:

Daughter 1 (04:26): "I think a light gray with red wire wheels and red upholstery. And then I can wear my gray dress when I drive."

Mama enters the fray, expressing her preference for a quieter vehicle:

Mama (04:44): "The best automobiles don't make noises. Me, I like a quiet car."

The daughters counter her preferences by highlighting the sporty appeal of features like rumble seats, further adding to the comedic tension.

The Role of Truth and Deception

A significant theme emerges as the daughters grapple with honesty versus diplomacy. Mama advises them on the importance of tactfully handling the situation without hurting Jake's feelings:

Mama (07:05): "The truth is very beautiful. But there is no one who is so unpopular as a person who's going around all the time telling the truth. Especially when the truth hurts."

This dialogue reflects the delicate balance families often maintain between honesty and preserving harmony.

Conclusion: The New Roadster

The episode culminates in a surprising turn of events. Despite initial resistance and humorous debates over Jake's driving skills, it is revealed that Jake has already purchased a new gray roadster with a rumble seat:

Jake (11:33): "You see, the reason I'm not gonna buy from him a car tonight is that this afternoon I already bought one."

Mama and the daughters react with amazement and reluctant acceptance, highlighting the inevitability of Jake's decision.

Notable Quotes

• Jake on His Driving Skills (03:25): "He's a little short fella. Fat, I bet fat."
• Mama on Preserving Harmony (07:05): "The truth is very beautiful. But there is no one who is so unpopular as a person who's going around all the time telling the truth."
• Daughter's Resolution (11:33): "You're the best driver in the world. And if you want to drive in the middle of the road, it's okay with me."

Final Thoughts

"Mama Bloom's Brood 34-xx-xx (11) Jake Buys a New Car" is a delightful portrayal of family interactions, blending humor with genuine emotion. Through witty dialogues and relatable scenarios, the episode captures the timeless essence of family decision-making, making it a memorable addition to Harold's Old Time Radio collection.

Transcript

[Advertiser]

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[Jake]

9.

[Advertiser]

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[Jake]

Well, well, well. Here's Mama Bloom's brood. It is evening in the Bloom flat. Mama, Papa and the two girls are sitting in the living room, and Mama.

[Mama]

Says, sally, turn on the red show.

[Daughter 1]

All right, what do you want to hear?

[Mama]

What do you want to hear?

[Daughter 1]

Oh, it doesn't make any difference to us. I think we're going out. Yes, we're going to take a walk.

[Jake]

Children, why don't you stay home?

[Mama]

Let them go for a walk, Papa. Fresh air is very injurious for you. It puts new life in the system.

[Jake]

Yeah, but why can't they stay home for one night?

[Mama]

Jake, let them go.

[Jake]

All right, but I'll bet they'd stay home if they knew who was coming.

[Daughter 1]

Oh, it's some friend of yours, I guess. And he'll sit here and discuss the knee pants business.

[Jake]

He ain't a friend of mine. He ain't the knee pants business. Now bet you'll stay home.

[Daughter 1]

Who is it, Pa?

[Jake]

Yeah, well, why don't you wait and see?

[Daughter 1]

Well, tell us.

[Mama]

What is it, some kind of a guessing game?

[Jake]

Well, this much I'll tell you. He's in the automobile business.

[Mama]

Who do you know in the automobile business, Jake?

[Daughter 1]

I don't see how it makes any difference to us what business he's in.

[Jake]

Hey, if you want to go out, go out.

[Mama]

Jake, something's in your mind. Don't play riddles with me.

[Jake]

What can be in my mind?

[Mama]

What kind from a fellow you see, huh? Villierta like him. You think?

[Daughter 1]

Now I am going out. Papa, you promised me you wouldn't bring any more men home for me to look over.

[Mama]

If he's a nice fellow, why can't you stay? Must something be wrong with him because Papa brings him home?

[Daughter 1]

Well, I'm not gonna like him. I promise you that.

[Mama]

Maybe it'll be a case of love from first sight anyway. How can you tell that? You won't like a fella before you see him. And if one can send in samples, you don't have to buy. Jake. What does he look like? Is he beautiful?

[Jake]

He's a little Short fella.

[Daughter 1]

Fat, I bet fat.

[Jake]

He's very fat. And bald. And he's got a big long nose.

[Daughter 1]

I told you.

[Jake]

And he is shorter than you, maybe by six inches. And old. Well, he's as old as me.

[Daughter 1]

Well, I'm not gonna stay home. And I wouldn't marry him if he had $65 million.

[Jake]

You're asking it to marry him. You gotta marry him. Just because he's coming here to sell me an automobile.

[Mama]

I sell you an automobile.

[Jake]

What's the matter with my English all of a sudden? Am I a foreigner that you can't understand me?

[Mama]

Jake, a joke is a joke. But you mean it.

[Jake]

Why not? Mama, if it hadn't been for you, I would have spent $10,000 in a gold mine and we couldn't even go riding in it.

[Daughter 1]

Oh, Papa, I think you're the swellest thing. Papa, you're a peas.

[Jake]

A pea. Maybe. You got a little kiss for Papa?

[Daughter 1]

Here's two. Oh, here's three for me.

[Jake]

No, no, no, no. Becky sits still. You don't have to get up for a kiss from you. I'll walk all the way over there. And now, girl, if you want to go out. Who's stopping?

[Mama]

Ah, you couldn't drive them out with hammers when.

[Jake]

No, no, no, no, no. Children, don't get excited. We can't get it tonight.

[Daughter 1]

Oh, I'm afraid you'll change your mind.

[Mama]

Papa won't change his mind. He's not an Indian. Take it.

[Jake]

Yeah, any minute now. He's coming.

[Daughter 1]

Now, the first thing you do is to decide what color it'll be. I think a light gray with red wire wheels and red upholstery. And then I can wear my gray dress when I drive. Oh, all black. Looks richest. Unless it's going to be a roadster. Hey, let's get a roadster. I don't like a roadster. My hair blows too much. And besides, when it rains. Oh, then a convertible roadster.

[Mama]

Wait a minute. Yetter. A roadster's got one seat, ain't it?

[Daughter 1]

Yes, but it's got a nice rumble. A rumble?

[Mama]

The best automobiles don't make noises. Me, I like a quiet car.

[Daughter 1]

Oh, I mean a rumble seat, Ma.

[Mama]

You mean the kind of seat you get in like you was climbing over a fence? Such kind of seats is not for me. You just leap into them. Sarah, I'm no leaping hyena. I like such a kind of car with a back seat that you can get into without rumble.

[Daughter 1]

Yes, but they're very sporty.

[Mama]

Since when is Your mother are sporty.

[Jake]

Well, a roadster we won't get in the first place. A roadster. The wind gets in my eyes.

[Mama]

You could wear Google's dress.

[Daughter 1]

Say goggles, Ma. Not Google.

[Mama]

Google goggles. What difference does it make? I yellow ones, not black ones. Black ones I don't like.

[Daughter 1]

Why don't you like black goggles?

[Mama]

With black goggles, it always looks like she'd got a tin cup and some lead pencils.

[Jake]

What color goggles you should wear is not so important.

[Daughter 1]

You know what we ought to get, Pa? We ought to get a convertible Phantom with partition seats. Or else a cabriolet. Don't you think so, Ma?

[Mama]

It sounds too expensive.

[Daughter 1]

Oh, a Cabriolet is very nice.

[Mama]

I don't think it's for us.

[Daughter 1]

Oh, why not? What do we need with our foreign car? That's not a foreign car, Ma. That's the name of a particular kind of body. Yeah, and another thing. Let's get one with an adjustable front seat so that when I drive, I won't have to use a pillow.

[Jake]

The driving I'll do. I don't want you should all get killed.

[Daughter 1]

Now, you know we both drive better than you do, Pa, don't we, Ma?

[Mama]

Everybody's got a different system. Your papa drives one system, you drive another system.

[Jake]

System schmistem. I drive all right.

[Mama]

Sure, you drive all right, Jake. I don't like a fancy driver. Your driving is very conservatory.

[Daughter 1]

You mean conservative, Ma.

[Mama]

Papa drives careful.

[Daughter 1]

Papa drives all over the road. He never pays any attention to stop and go lives. And he never gives a signal to anybody.

[Mama]

Nobody gives him any.

[Daughter 1]

And he starts with a jerk that.

[Mama]

Almost throws you out of your seat.

[Daughter 1]

Yeah, and he's always killing his motors. When he changes speed, you can hear him four blocks away.

[Mama]

Outside of that, he's all right.

[Jake]

So I'm as bad as old F.

[Daughter 1]

Yes, Pa. We hate to tell you, but you're the worst driver in the world. Yeah, Pa, honest, you are.

[Jake]

Well, if I'm such a bad driver, I think the best thing to do is to keep the old car. And when the man comes, you'll tell him I've changed my mind. And now I'm going into the other room and reading.

[Mama]

Now, you see what you've done? You've turned upside down the apple carton. You've made applesauce.

[Daughter 1]

Oh, Mark, can't you do anything?

[Mama]

What can I do? You talked him in that he was such a bad driver that he believes you.

[Daughter 1]

But he really is an awfully bad driver.

[Mama]

Honest, Ma. Do you think this was the time to tell him?

[Daughter 1]

But it's the truth.

[Mama]

The truth is very beautiful. But there is no one who is so unpopular as a person who's going around all the time telling the truth. Especially when the truth hurts.

[Daughter 1]

You don't want us to lie, do you?

[Mama]

No, sir. I don't want you to lie. It's not right to tell a lie. But suppose somebody comes up to you, they've just bought a dress, and they say to you, how does it look? Yeah. You know they've already paid for the dress. What good would it do you for you to tell them it's too long or too little or too old or too young? In such a case, maybe it would be nicer for you to say, Mrs. Levy, it's a beautiful dress. Even if you had to shut your eyes when you say it.

[Daughter 1]

But that's different.

[Mama]

It's no different at all. Papa comes home, he's feeling good. He's going to buy a new car. Half the pleasure of the whole car is the fun he gets telling you he's going to buy it. And the warm feeling that comes in his heart that he knows you're pleased. Yeah, I guess that's right. So suppose Papa's a bomb driver. Is this the time for you to tell him so when he's feeling so fine? Wouldn't it be nicer to wait until some other time and not spoil his whole evening? And besides, if you'd waited until some other time, we would have a new automobile.

[Daughter 1]

Of course, you're right. But you know he's a bad driver.

[Mama]

Of course. He's our bomb driver. The voiced in the voilka. But shall I tell him so? It's better that he should hit 10 streetcars than I should have one argument with him.

[Daughter 1]

Well, can't you do something, Ma?

[Mama]

Yeah, I can do something. But why should I? The old car's all right for me.

[Daughter 1]

Oh, Ma, please do something.

[Mama]

Why should I be a fool, fight with a husband I do want? About the automobile I don't want.

[Daughter 1]

But you said you could make him buy one.

[Mama]

Why should I? Everything was fine, he was going to buy the car, and you talked him out of it. That's what education does for you.

[Daughter 1]

All right, Ma, we admit we're wrong. Please get us out of it.

[Mama]

How can a dumb woman like me help two smart girls like you all the time I'm making mistakes, and you have to correct me. You did it. Now undid it.

[Daughter 1]

What do you mean?

[Mama]

I'll call Papa back in here. You Talked him out of the car. Now talk him back into it. It'll be good practice for you when you get married.

[Daughter 1]

What do we say to him?

[Mama]

Don't ask me. You know, a lot of voids. Just put them in the right places. You knew where they belonged when you wanted to tell him about his driving. Well, I don't think we can do it.

[Daughter 1]

Let's try it.

[Mama]

We've nothing to lose. Sure. You got no new car now. You can't do worse than that.

[Daughter 1]

All right, ask him to come in. Please, Ma.

[Mama]

Jake. Jake, come in here.

[Jake]

Well, who wants me?

[Daughter 1]

Big Oil.

[Jake]

They want to tell me more about my bomb driving. I know, that's all said.

[Mama]

Who said you are bomb driver?

[Jake]

Who said it? Who said it?

[Daughter 1]

They said it.

[Jake]

You're telling me.

[Mama]

How can you hear what's going on if you go in the other room? In the middle?

[Jake]

I heard enough.

[Mama]

I tell you, you ran away in the middle in the first place. Sarah and Yeta, are they judges?

[Jake]

They don't know what they're talking about.

[Mama]

Of course they don't know what they're talking about, but they know about driving. You could write on the pin of our head. Besides, what they did say was not that you was a bad driver in the first place. A bad driver has accidents. Did you have accidents?

[Jake]

Accidents?

[Mama]

No.

[Jake]

Two years I've been driving and not once did I have an accident.

[Mama]

Knock wood.

[Jake]

All right.

[Mama]

What they were saying was that once in a while, maybe once a month or every two months, I'll go and I'll stop sign you passed by.

[Jake]

Well, how can anybody help that?

[Mama]

That's just what they said.

[Daughter 1]

The very voice.

[Jake]

Yeah, but yet they said I was always killing my motor.

[Mama]

But yet the meant was that in an old car, anybody can kill a motor. So if you get a new car right away, that'll be all right.

[Jake]

Who's getting a new car?

[Mama]

Nobody's getting a new car, Jim. But everybody who is getting a new car, if once in a while they do make a little mistake driving. People are so busy looking at the new car and the shiny paint that.

[Daughter 1]

Who notices a little mistake?

[Jake]

Well, once in a while I do drive in the center of the road just in case I want to pass somebody.

[Mama]

That's just what Sarah said.

[Daughter 1]

No, it isn't, Pop.

[Mama]

I'll tell you what I said.

[Daughter 1]

Even if I never get the car, I'm not going to let Ma take our parts every time we make darn fools of ourselves. We're supposed to be so smart. The result is if we don't get a new car. It's all our own fault. Sure it is. It serves us right, too, even if you were the worst driver in the world. After all, it's your car, and we know you enjoy driving it.

[Mama]

So if we have to shoot off.

[Daughter 1]

Our mouths about how bad you drive it, it would just serve us right if we never got a new car.

[Mama]

Papa, they didn't mean what they said. Yes, we did.

[Daughter 1]

In the first place, we were very rude. And besides, as soon as you mentioned you were going to get a car, we picked out what we wanted without even thinking what you and Ma might want.

[Mama]

Papa, you'll forgive them, won't you, Papa?

[Jake]

Sure. Sure, I'll forgive them.

[Mama]

And you'll buy tonight from the man a car.

[Jake]

No. Absolutely not, and that is final.

[Mama]

You're not going to buy. He's absolutely right.

[Daughter 1]

I wouldn't buy us one either.

[Jake]

You see, the reason I'm not gonna buy from him a car tonight is that this afternoon I already bought one.

[Mama]

J. Papa.

[Jake]

Well? Am I a good driver?

[Daughter 1]

You're the best driver in the world. And if you want to drive in the middle of the road, it's okay with me.

[Jake]

There's the automobile man.

[Daughter 1]

I'll answer it.

[Mama]

Shall I tell him to come up?

[Jake]

No, no, no. They' downstairs. The new car's in front.

[Daughter 1]

Oh, come on.

[Mama]

Jake.

[Jake]

Yeah?

[Mama]

Has it got a rumble seat?

[Jake]

Absolutely. Mama, it's a gray roadster with a rumble seat.

[Mama]

Jake, how can I get in a rumble seat?

[Jake]

Mama, the girls wanted the rumble seat. Let them get into it.

[Advertiser]

Lowe's knows July 4th savings are worth celebrating right now. Get up to 40% off select major appliances and get an additional 10% off two or more select major appliances. Plus get three Scott's Naturescapes 1.5 cubic foot mulch bags for just $10. These deals are coming in hot.

[Jake]

Lowe's.

[Advertiser]

We help you Save. Valid through 7 9. Selection varies by location while supplies last. See lowe's.com for more details. Excludes Alaska and Hawaii.