Mama Bloom's Brood 34-xx-xx (11) Jake Buys a New Car

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Mama Bloom's Brood 34-xx-xx (11) Jake Buys a New Car"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Host/Author: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Description: Reliving the Golden Age of Radio with classic radio shows before television dominated family entertainment. Features iconic shows like The Shadow, Abbott & Costello, Amos & Andy, Dragnet, and more.
• Episode: Mama Bloom's Brood 34-xx-xx (11) Jake Buys a New Car
• Release Date: August 5, 2025

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Introduction

"Mama Bloom's Brood" presents the dynamics of the Bloom family as they navigate everyday challenges with humor and heart. In episode 34-xx-xx (11), titled "Jake Buys a New Car," the Bloom household grapples with the decision to purchase a new automobile, highlighting generational differences, familial bonds, and the quirks that make family life both challenging and endearing.

Setting the Scene

The episode opens in the evening at the Bloom family's residence, setting a warm, domestic atmosphere. The family comprises Mama Bloom, Papa Bloom (Jake Bloom), and their two daughters, Sarah and Becky. The living room becomes the primary setting where the unfolding drama takes place.

Notable Opening Lines:

• Jake Bloom: "Well, well, well, here's Mama Bloom's brood. It is evening in the Bloom flat." [00:24]

The Daughters' Request

Sarah and Becky express their desire to go out for a walk, leading to a light-hearted negotiation with Papa Bloom, who prefers they stay home. This sets the stage for underlying tensions related to Jake's plans for purchasing a new car.

Key Dialogue:

• Sarah Bloom: "Oh, it doesn't make any difference to us. I think we're going out. Yes, we're going to take a walk." [02:10]
• Jake Bloom: "Children, why don't you stay home?" [02:13]

Introducing the New Car Proposition

Mama Bloom hints at Jake's intention to introduce someone from the automobile business to the family, sparking curiosity and apprehension among the daughters. The anticipation builds as the family debates the merits and drawbacks of acquiring a new vehicle.

Key Dialogue:

• Mama Bloom: "Let them go for a walk, Papa. Fresh air is very injurious for you. It puts new life in the city." [02:15]
• Jake Bloom: "Well, this much I'll tell you. He's in the automobile business." [02:38]

Characterizing the Automobile Salesman

The daughters express skepticism and disdain towards the incoming automobile salesman, questioning his appearance and intentions. This skepticism reflects their resistance to change and Jake's authority in making significant family decisions.

Key Dialogue:

• Sarah Bloom: "I wouldn't marry him if he had $65 million." [03:25]
• Jake Bloom: "He's a little short fella. Fat. He's very fat. And bald. And he's got a big long nose." [03:16]

Debating Car Features and Preferences

A significant portion of the episode revolves around the family's discussions on the type of car they desire. The daughters advocate for sporty models like roadsters and cabriolets, emphasizing aesthetics and functionality, while Mama Bloom prefers practicality and comfort. This debate showcases the clash between youthful aspirations and parental pragmatism.

Key Dialogue:

• Sarah Bloom: "I think a light gray with red wire wheels and red upholstery. And then I can wear my gray dress when I drive." [04:25]
• Mama Bloom: "I like a quiet car." [04:43]

Critiquing Papa's Driving Skills

Tensions rise as Sarah and Becky critique Jake's driving abilities, labeling him as the "worst driver in the world." Jake defends himself by highlighting his accident-free record, but the girls remain unconvinced, highlighting generational misunderstandings and the challenges of familial communication.

Key Dialogue:

• Sarah Bloom: "We hate to tell you, but you're the worst driver in the world." [06:04]
• Jake Bloom: "Two years I've been driving and not once did I have an accident." [09:53]

Mama Bloom's Mediation

Mama Bloom intervenes to ease the tension, advocating for positivity and the importance of not spoiling Jake's excitement over the new car purchase. She draws parallels between honesty and tact, emphasizing the value of preserving harmony over blunt truth-telling.

Notable Quotes:

• Mama Bloom: "The truth is very beautiful. But there is no one who is so unpopular as a person who's going around all the time telling the truth. Especially when the truth hurts." [07:04]
• Mama Bloom: "Half the pleasure of the whole car is the fun he gets telling you he's going to buy it." [07:35]

Resolution: The Car is Bought

Despite initial resistance, Jake reveals that he has already purchased the new car, surprising the family. The revelation shifts the family's dynamics, leading to acceptance and excitement about the new automobile's features, particularly its rumble seat—a nod to classic car designs favored during the Golden Age of Radio.

Key Dialogue:

• Jake Bloom: "This afternoon I already bought one." [11:33]
• Jake Bloom: "Absolutely. Mama, it's a gray roadster with a rumble seat." [11:58]

Conclusion

The episode concludes on a harmonious note, with the family coming to terms with the new car and Jake's decision. The interplay between humor, familial love, and the nuances of decision-making encapsulates the essence of the Blooms' family life.

Closing Remarks:

• Sarah Bloom: "You're the best driver in the world. And if you want to drive in the middle of the road, it's okay with me." [11:42]
• Mama Bloom: "Has it got a rumble seat?" [11:56]

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Jake Bloom: "Why can't they stay home for one night?" [02:05-02:10]
• Sarah Bloom: "I wouldn't marry him if he had $65 million." [03:25]
• Jake Bloom: "Two years I've been driving and not once did I have an accident." [09:53]
• Mama Bloom: "The truth is very beautiful. But there is no one who is so unpopular as a person who's going around all the time telling the truth. Especially when the truth hurts." [07:04]
• Jake Bloom: "This afternoon I already bought one." [11:33]
• Sarah Bloom: "You're the best driver in the world." [11:42]

Insights and Themes

• Generational Conflict: The episode highlights the common friction between parents and children, especially regarding lifestyle choices and perceptions of competence.

• Communication: Effective family communication is portrayed as both challenging and essential for maintaining harmony.

• Materialism vs. Sentiment: The decision to purchase a new car serves as a metaphor for balancing material desires with emotional well-being.

• Humor in Family Dynamics: The Blooms navigate their disagreements with humor, showcasing the resilience and love inherent in family relationships.

Conclusion

"Mama Bloom's Brood 34-xx-xx (11) Jake Buys a New Car" offers a charming glimpse into the Bloom family's life, blending humor with relatable family issues. Through spirited debates and heartfelt resolutions, the episode underscores the importance of understanding, patience, and love in familial bonds. Whether it's navigating the complexities of a new car purchase or critiquing driving skills, the Blooms exemplify the timeless dance of family life, making this episode a delightful addition to Harold's Old Time Radio repertoire.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Jake Bloom]

No purchase necessary VGW Group void where prohibited by law 21 terms and conditions apply. Well, well, well, here's Mama Bloom's brood. It is evening in the Bloom flat. Mama, Papa and the two girls are sitting in the living room.

[Mama Bloom]

And Mama says, sally, turn on the red show.

[Sarah Bloom]

All right, what do you want to hear?

[Mama Bloom]

What do you want to hear?

[Sarah Bloom]

Oh, it doesn't make any difference to us. I think we're going out. Yes, we're going to take a walk.

[Jake Bloom]

Children, why don't you stay home?

[Mama Bloom]

Let them go for a walk, Papa. Fresh air is very injurious for you. It puts new life in the city.

[Jake Bloom]

Yeah, but why can't they stay home for one night?

[Mama Bloom]

Jake, let them go.

[Jake Bloom]

All right, but I'll bet they'd stay home if they knew who was coming.

[Sarah Bloom]

Oh, it's some friend of yours, I guess. And he'll sit here and discuss the knee pants business.

[Jake Bloom]

He ain't a friend of mine. He ain't in the knee pants pants business. Now bet you'll stay home.

[Mama Bloom]

Who is it, Pa?

[Jake Bloom]

Yeah, well, why don't you wait and see?

[Sarah Bloom]

Well, tell us.

[Mama Bloom]

What is it, some kind of a guessing game?

[Jake Bloom]

Well, this much I'll tell you. He's in the automobile business.

[Mama Bloom]

Who do you know in the automobile business, Jake?

[Sarah Bloom]

I don't see how it makes any difference to us what business he's in.

[Jake Bloom]

Hey, if you want to go out, go out.

[Mama Bloom]

Jake, something's in your mind. Don't play riddles with me.

[Jake Bloom]

What can be in my mind?

[Sarah Bloom]

What kind from a fellow?

[Mama Bloom]

You see, huh? Villierta like him. You think?

[Sarah Bloom]

Now I am going out. Papa, you promised me you wouldn't bring any more men home for me to look over.

[Mama Bloom]

If he's a nice fellow, why can't you stay? Must something be wrong with him because Papa brings him home?

[Sarah Bloom]

Well, I'm not gonna like him. I'll promise you that.

[Mama Bloom]

Maybe it'll be a case of love from first sight anyway. How can you tell that? You won't like a fella before you see him. Any for him can send in Samples you don't have to buy. Jake, what does he look like? Is he beautiful?

[Jake Bloom]

He's a little short fella.

[Sarah Bloom]

Fat, I bet.

[Jake Bloom]

Fat. He's very fat. And bald. And he's got a big long nose.

[Sarah Bloom]

I told you.

[Jake Bloom]

And he is shorter than you, maybe by six inches. And old. Well, he's as old as me.

[Sarah Bloom]

Well, I'm not gonna stay home. And I wouldn't marry him if he had $65 million.

[Jake Bloom]

You're asking it to marry him. You gotta marry him just because he's coming here to sell me an automobile. What's the matter with my English all of a sudden? Am I a foreigner that you can't understand me?

[Mama Bloom]

Jake, a joke is a joke. But you mean it?

[Jake Bloom]

Why not? Mama, if it hadn't been for you, I would have spent $10,000 in a gold mine and we couldn't even go riding in it.

[Sarah Bloom]

Oh, Papa, I think you're the swellest thing.

[Jake Bloom]

Papa, you're a peace a piece. Maybe you got a little kiss for Papa?

[Sarah Bloom]

Here's two. Oh, here's three for me.

[Jake Bloom]

No, no, no, no. Becky sits still. You don't have to get up for a kiss from you, I'll walk all the way over there. And now, girl, if you want to go out, who's stopping you?

[Mama Bloom]

You couldn't drive them out with hammers when they come.

[Sarah Bloom]

Anything.

[Jake Bloom]

No, no, no, no, no. Children, don't get excited. We can't get it tonight.

[Sarah Bloom]

Oh, I'm afraid you'll change your mind.

[Mama Bloom]

Papa won't change his mind. He's not an Indian taker.

[Jake Bloom]

Yeah, Any minute now. He's coming.

[Sarah Bloom]

Now, the first thing you do is to decide what color it'll be. I think a light gray with red wire wheels and red upholstery. And then I can wear my gray dress when I drive. Oh, all black. Looks richest. Unless it's going to be a roadster. Hey, let's get a roadster. I don't like a roadster. My hair blows too much. And besides, when it rains. Oh, then a convertible roadster.

[Mama Bloom]

Wait a minute, Jetta. A roadster's got one seat, ain't it?

[Sarah Bloom]

Yes, but it's got a nice rumble.

[Mama Bloom]

A rumble? The best automobiles don't make noises. Me, I like a quiet car.

[Sarah Bloom]

Oh, I mean a rumble seat, Ma. You mean the kind of seat you.

[Mama Bloom]

Get in like you was climbing over a fence? Such kind of seats is not for me.

[Sarah Bloom]

You just leap into them.

[Mama Bloom]

Sarah, I'm no leaping hyena. I like such a kind of car with a Back seat that you can get into without rumble.

[Sarah Bloom]

Yes, but they're very sporty.

[Mama Bloom]

Since when is your mother are sporty?

[Jake Bloom]

Well, a roadster we won't get in the first place. A roadster. The wind gets in my eyes.

[Sarah Bloom]

You could wear Google's dress. Say goggles, Ma. Not Google.

[Mama Bloom]

Google's goggles. What difference does it make? Yellow ones, not black ones. Black ones I don't like.

[Sarah Bloom]

Why don't you like black goggles?

[Mama Bloom]

With black goggles it always looks like she'd got a tin cup and some lead pencils.

[Jake Bloom]

What color goggle you should wear is not so important.

[Sarah Bloom]

You know what we ought to get, Pa? We ought to get a convertible Phaeton with partition seats. Or else a cabriolet. Don't you think so, Ma?

[Mama Bloom]

It sounds too expensive.

[Sarah Bloom]

Oh, a cabriolet is very nice.

[Mama Bloom]

I don't think it's for us.

[Sarah Bloom]

Well, why not? What do we need with our foreign car? That's not a foreign car, Ma. That's the name of a particular kind of body. Yeah, and another thing. Let's get one with an adjustable front seat so that when I drive I won't have to use a pillow.

[Jake Bloom]

The driving I'll do. I don't want you should all get killed.

[Sarah Bloom]

Ah, you know, we both drive better than you do, Pa, don't we, Ma?

[Mama Bloom]

Everybody's got a different system. Your papa drives one system, you drive another system.

[Jake Bloom]

System, shmistum. I drive all right.

[Mama Bloom]

Sure, you drive all right, Jake. I don't like a fancy driver. Your driving is very conservatory.

[Sarah Bloom]

You mean conservative, Ma.

[Mama Bloom]

Papa drives careful.

[Sarah Bloom]

Papa drives all over the road. He never pays any attention to stop and go lives. And he never gives a signal to anybody.

[Mama Bloom]

Nobody gives him anything.

[Sarah Bloom]

And he starts with a jerk.

[Mama Bloom]

It almost throws you out of your seat.

[Sarah Bloom]

Yeah, and he's always killing his motors. When he changes speed, you can hear.

[Mama Bloom]

Him four blocks away. Outside of that, he's all right.

[Jake Bloom]

So I'm as bad as old F.

[Sarah Bloom]

Yes, Pa. We hate to tell you, but you're the worst driver in the world. Yeah, Pa, honest, you are.

[Jake Bloom]

Well, if I'm such a bad driver, I think the best thing to do is to keep the old car. And when the man comes, you'll tell him I've changed my mind. And now I'm going into the other room and reading.

[Mama Bloom]

Now, you see what you've done? You've turned upside down the apple carton. You've made applesauce.

[Sarah Bloom]

Oh, Ma, can't you do anything?

[Mama Bloom]

What can I do? You talked him in that he was such a bad driver that he believes you.

[Sarah Bloom]

But he really is an awfully bad driver.

[Mama Bloom]

Honest, Ma, do you think this was the time to tell him?

[Sarah Bloom]

But it's the truth.

[Mama Bloom]

The truth is very beautiful. But there is no one who is so unpopular as a person who's going around all the time telling the truth. Especially when the truth hurts.

[Sarah Bloom]

You don't want us to lie, do you?

[Mama Bloom]

No, sir. I don't want you to lie. It's not right to tell a lie. But suppose somebody comes up to you, they've just bought a dress, and they say to you, how does it look? Yeah. You know they've already paid for the dress. What good would it do you for you to tell them it's too long or too little or too old or too young? In such a case, maybe it would be nicer for you to say, Mrs. Levy, it's a beautiful dress. Even if you had to shut your eyes when you say it.

[Sarah Bloom]

But that's different.

[Mama Bloom]

It's no difference at all. Papa comes home, he's feeling good. He's going to buy a new car. Half the pleasure of the whole car is the fun he gets telling you he's going to buy it. And the warm feeling that comes in his heart that he knows you're pleased. Yeah, I guess that's right. So suppose Papa's a bomb driver. Is this the time for you to tell him so when he's feeling so fine? Wouldn't it be nicer to wait until some other time and not spoil his whole evening? And besides, if you'd waited until some other time, we would have a new automobile.

[Sarah Bloom]

Of course you're right. But you know he's a bad driver.

[Mama Bloom]

Of course he's a bomb driver. The voice in the void. But shall I tell him so? It's better that he should hit 10 streetcars than I should have one argument with him.

[Sarah Bloom]

Well, can't you do something, Ma?

[Mama Bloom]

Yeah, I can do something, but why should I? The old car's all right for me.

[Sarah Bloom]

Oh, Ma, please do something.

[Mama Bloom]

Why should I be a fool, fight with a husband I do want? About the automobile I don't want.

[Sarah Bloom]

But you said you could make him buy one.

[Mama Bloom]

Why should I? Everything was fine, he was going to buy the car, and you talked him out of it. That's what education does for you.

[Sarah Bloom]

All right, Ma, we admit we're wrong. Please get us out of it.

[Mama Bloom]

How can a dumb woman like me help two smart girls like you all the time I'm making mistakes, and you have to correct me. You did it now undid it.

[Sarah Bloom]

What do you mean?

[Mama Bloom]

I'll call Papa back in here. You talked him out of the car, now talk him back into it. It'll be good practice for you when you get married.

[Sarah Bloom]

What do we say to him?

[Mama Bloom]

Don't ask me. You know, a lot of voids. Just put them in the right places. You know, where they belonged when you wanted to tell him about his driving. Well, I don't think we can do it.

[Sarah Bloom]

Let's try it.

[Mama Bloom]

We've nothing to lose. Sir, you got no new car now. You can't do worse than that.

[Sarah Bloom]

All right, ask him to come in, please.

[Mama Bloom]

More? Jake. Jake, come in here.

[Jake Bloom]

Well, who wants me?

[Sarah Bloom]

The girls.

[Jake Bloom]

They want to tell me more about my bomb driving. I know, that's all said.

[Mama Bloom]

Who said you're a bomb driver?

[Jake Bloom]

Who said it? Who said it?

[Sarah Bloom]

They said it.

[Jake Bloom]

You're telling me.

[Mama Bloom]

How can you hear what's going on if you go in the other room, in the middle?

[Jake Bloom]

I heard enough.

[Mama Bloom]

I tell you, you ran away in the middle in the first place. Sarah and Yeta, are they judges?

[Jake Bloom]

They don't know what they're talking about.

[Mama Bloom]

Of course they don't know what they're talking about, but they know about driving. You could write on the pin of our head. Besides, what they did say was not that you was a bad driver in the first place. A bad driver has accidents. Did you have accidents?

[Jake Bloom]

Accidents?

[Sarah Bloom]

No.

[Jake Bloom]

Two years I've been driving and not once did I have an accident.

[Mama Bloom]

Knock wood.

[Jake Bloom]

All right.

[Mama Bloom]

What they were saying was that once in a while, maybe once a month or every two months, I'll go and I'll stop sign you passed by.

[Jake Bloom]

Well, how can anybody help that?

[Sarah Bloom]

That's just what they said.

[Mama Bloom]

The very voice.

[Jake Bloom]

Yeah, but yet they said I was always killing my motor.

[Mama Bloom]

But yet I meant for us that in an old car, anybody can kill a motor. So if you get a new car right away, that'll be all right.

[Jake Bloom]

Who's getting a new car?

[Mama Bloom]

Nobody's getting a new car, Jim. But everybody who is getting a new car, if once in a while they do make a little mistake driving. People are so busy looking at the new car and the shiny paint that.

[Sarah Bloom]

Who notices a little mistake?

[Jake Bloom]

Well, once in a while I do drive in the center of the road just in case I want to pass somebody.

[Mama Bloom]

That's just what Sarah said.

[Sarah Bloom]

No, it isn't, Pop.

[Mama Bloom]

I'll tell you what I said.

[Sarah Bloom]

Even if I never get the car, I'm not going to let Ma take our parts every Time. We make darn fools of ourselves. We're supposed to be so smart. The result is, if we don't get a new car, it's all our own fault. Sure it is. It serves us right, too. Even if you were the worst driver in the world. After all, it's your car and we know you enjoy driving it.

[Mama Bloom]

So if we have to shoot off.

[Sarah Bloom]

Our mouths about how bad you drive it, it would just serve us right if we never got a new car.

[Mama Bloom]

Papa, they didn't mean what they said. Yes, we did.

[Sarah Bloom]

In the first place, we were very rude.

[Mama Bloom]

And besides, as soon as you mentioned.

[Sarah Bloom]

You were going to get a car, we picked out what we wanted without even thinking what you and Ma might want.

[Mama Bloom]

Papa, you'll forgive them, won't you, Papa?

[Jake Bloom]

Sure. Sure, I'll forgive them.

[Mama Bloom]

And you'll buy tonight from the man a car.

[Jake Bloom]

No. Absolutely not, and that is final.

[Mama Bloom]

You're not going to buy. He's absolutely right.

[Sarah Bloom]

I wouldn't buy us one either.

[Jake Bloom]

You see, the reason I'm not gonna buy from him a car tonight is that this afternoon I already bought one.

[Mama Bloom]

J Papa.

[Jake Bloom]

Well, Am I a good driver?

[Sarah Bloom]

You're the best driver in the world. And if you want to drive in the middle of the road, it's okay with me.

[Jake Bloom]

There's the automobile man.

[Sarah Bloom]

I'll answer it. Shall I tell him to come up?

[Jake Bloom]

No, no, no. We' downstairs. The new car's in front.

[Sarah Bloom]

Oh, come on. Jake.

[Jake Bloom]

Yeah?

[Mama Bloom]

Has it got a rumble seat?

[Jake Bloom]

Absolutely. Mama, it's a gray roadster with a rumble seat.

[Mama Bloom]

Jake, how can I get in a rumble seat?

[Jake Bloom]

Mama, the girls wanted the rumble seat. Let them get into it.

[Sarah Bloom]

Ram Sam Ra.