Mr Ace and Jane 48-01-16 Paul Tries To Borrow Two Hundred Dollars

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Mr Ace and Jane 48-01-16 Paul Tries To Borrow Two Hundred Dollars
Release Date: January 24, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of "Harold's Old Time Radio", listeners are transported back to the Golden Age of Radio with the comedic antics of the original radio comedy couple, Mr. Ace and Jane. Titled "Paul Tries To Borrow Two Hundred Dollars," this half-hour installment delves into the familial tensions and humorous exchanges that arise when Jane's brother, Paul, seeks financial assistance from his brother-in-law, Mr. Ace.

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Setting the Scene

The story is set in a bustling Eastern town of New York City, home to over 7 million residents. The central characters include:

• Mr. Ace: A hardworking man entrenched in the advertising business, striving to balance his professional life with familial obligations.
• Jane: Mr. Ace's supportive and somewhat oblivious wife, deeply influenced by her brother Paul.
• Paul: Jane's brother, who hasn't been employed for 12 years and is notorious for his laziness and manipulative tendencies.
• Arlene: Paul's wife, perpetually destitute and reliant on financial handouts.
• Ms. Anderson: Mr. Ace's secretary, who holds significant sway over the office dynamics.

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Plot Summary

The Financial Dilemma

The episode kicks off with Mr. Ace questioning Paul's prolonged unemployment:

Mr. Ace (01:07): "Why don't you go to work?"

Paul retorts defensively, establishing the strained relationship:

Paul (01:16): "Don't use that four-letter word in front of my sister."

Jane interjects, revealing her exasperation with Paul:

Jane (01:31): "Very often I wish to heaven they were, especially Jane's brother Paul."

Mr. Ace elaborates on Paul's predicament, highlighting his reliance on a meager insurance payout due to an automobile accident twelve years prior:

Mr. Ace (02:01): "Paul is allergic to work... If he ever goes to work, they'll stop paying him that big twelve ten dollar annuity."

Paul's Intentions

Paul approaches Mr. Ace with a request for $200, ostensibly to fund a tonsillectomy for his wife, Arlene, marking their 10th wedding anniversary:

Paul (11:22): "It's for Arlene. We have a 10th wedding anniversary next Wednesday, and I want to get her something she needs pretty bad."

Mr. Ace is skeptical, both about the necessity of the procedure and Paul's ability to repay the loan:

Mr. Ace (11:12): "What happened to win and place?"

Paul (11:35): "Not give Lynn."

Office Antics and Miscommunications

The narrative takes a humorous turn as Mr. Ace interacts with his secretary, Ms. Anderson, who is more aligned with Jane's side of the family. Their exchanges reveal office politics and Mr. Ace's frustrations:

Mr. Ace (06:24): "She never thinks of me as her boss."

Ms. Anderson (06:26): "I never think of him as my boss."

Additionally, the episode features a subplot involving Mr. Noyer, a client who fervently praises Mr. Ace's work, leading to an awkward request for an autograph:

Mr. Noyer (08:02): "This campaign will make you famous, Mr. Ace."

Arlene (08:15): "Oh, dear, I'm so proud of you. It's like having a movie star in the family."

Mr. Ace reluctantly signs an autograph for Mrs. Hornets, further complicating the interpersonal dynamics.

Unraveling the Loan Agreement

As the story progresses, it's revealed that when Paul borrowed the $200, Mr. Ace had unknowingly co-signed a charge account, leading to unexpected consequences:

Arlene (13:17): "Well, that day you opened a charge account at the Confidential Loan Company."

Mr. Ace (13:36): "If they expect me to make good, I won't do it."

Arlene exposes the financial mishap, linking Mr. Ace's celebrity status to Paul's missed payments:

Arlene (13:28): "That's the price of fame, dear."

In a twist of irony, Mr. Ace decides to contribute a portion of his $500 bonus to Paul, only to discover it's too late:

Mr. Ace (12:26): "Well, thanks, if you can spare that."

Arlene (12:37): "No, dear, you don't have to now. Paul got that money already."

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Key Moments and Notable Quotes

• Mr. Ace's Frustration with Paul:

  Mr. Ace (01:45): "Paul never shows it, but I know he hates me."

  Paul (01:53): "I never show it, but I hate him."

• Jane's Loyalty:

  Jane (03:02): "When Jane makes up her mind to do something for Paul, she does it."

• Ms. Anderson's Influence:

  Ms. Anderson (06:24): "I practically run the office my way."

• Mr. Noyer's Praise:

  Mr. Noyer (07:30): "I can safely say at this point that your husband is the most valuable man in our shop."

• The Autograph Snafu:

  Mr. Ace (08:15): "Movie star? I suppose next you'll be asking for my autograph."

• Revelation of the Loan Issue:

  Arlene (13:22): "Paul borrowed 200 and you autographed the note."

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Conflict and Resolution

The central conflict revolves around Paul's attempt to secure a loan for Arlene's medical procedure, juxtaposed against Mr. Ace's financial prudence and professional obligations. The tension escalates as familial loyalty clashes with financial responsibility.

The resolution, though tinged with humor, leaves Mr. Ace grappling with unintended financial entanglements, setting the stage for future episodes where he must navigate the complexities of family, work, and unexpected obligations.

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Conclusion

"Paul Tries To Borrow Two Hundred Dollars" masterfully blends humor with relatable family dynamics, showcasing the timeless struggles between duty and temptation. Through witty dialogue and engaging character interactions, the episode offers listeners a nostalgic glimpse into the challenges and laughter that define family life. As Mr. Ace contends with Paul's latest scheme, the episode underscores themes of responsibility, loyalty, and the comedic pitfalls of familial obligations.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Mr. Ace on Paul's Employment:

  [01:07] Mr. Ace: "Why don't you go to work?"

• Paul Expressing Resentment:

  [01:16] Paul: "Don't use that four-letter word in front of my sister."

• Jane on Paul's Laziness:

  [01:31] Jane: "Very often I wish to heaven they were, especially Jane's brother Paul."

• Ms. Anderson's Takeover:

  [06:24] Ms. Anderson: "I practically run the office my way."

• Mr. Noyer's Praise for Mr. Ace:

  [07:43] Mr. Noyer: "I can safely say at this point that your husband is the most valuable man in our shop."

• Arlene Unveiling the Loan:

  [13:17] Arlene: "That's the price of fame, dear."

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This episode not only entertains but also offers a satirical look at workplace dynamics and the complexities of family relationships. Whether you're a long-time fan or new to "Harold's Old Time Radio," "Paul Tries To Borrow Two Hundred Dollars" promises laughter and a touch of nostalgia.

Transcript

[CDC Announcer]

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[Narrator]

From New York City comes now the new Mr. Ace and Jane program a weekly half hour comedy series starring radio's original comedy couple the Aces. Once again, the strains of Manhattan serenade introduce the story of Mr. Ace and his wife Jane. Tonight, chapter one, entitled Jane's Brother Paul, who hasn't worked in 12 years tries to borrow $200 from Mr.

[Mr. Ace]

Ace.

[Narrator]

And Mr. Ace says why don't you go to work? And Paul says, don't use that four letter word in front of my sister. Or as Mr. Ace would put it, am I my.

[Mr. Ace]

Brother in law's keeper? Let me tell you exactly what happened. First I want to say that the characters in this story are not fictitious.

[Jane]

Very often I wish to heaven they were, especially Jane's brother Paul. Although Paul is allergic to work and is the laziest guy I know, I.

[Mr. Ace]

Must admit he is obnoxious. Paul never shows it, but I know he hates me.

[Paul]

I never show it, but I hate him.

[Mr. Ace]

He can't stand the sight of me.

[Paul]

I can't stand the sight of him.

[Mr. Ace]

Behind my back he calls me names.

[Paul]

Communist.

[Jane]

Twelve years ago, Paul was in a little automobile accident. He's been collecting $10 a month on a little insurance policy but if he.

[Mr. Ace]

Ever goes to work they'll stop paying him that big twelve ten dollar annuity so he can't work. The guy was lucky enough to have escaped out of the accident alive and I want to be paid for it. That's robbing St. Peter to pay Paul. The one I really feel sorry for is Paul's wife Arlene. She's been married 10 years and has always been destitute.

[Arlene]

I've been married 10 years and I've always been destitute.

[Jane]

She never has any new clothes.

[Arlene]

I never have any new clothes.

[Mr. Ace]

She's too old to go to work.

[Arlene]

I never have any new clothes.

[Mr. Ace]

How do they live? Well, you've heard of people who live by their wits. Paul lives by his wits. Of course, with him that's only half living. The other half, Jane takes care of Jane and I are the typical average.

[Jane]

Married couple living in a typical little.

[Mr. Ace]

Eastern town of New York City, population.

[Jane]

7 million, give or take one.

[Mr. Ace]

And if you're going to take one, take my brother in law. Or for that matter, take Jane. When Jane makes up her mind to do something for Paul, she does it.

[Arlene]

When I make up my mind to do something for Paul, I do it.

[Jane]

She's completely uninhibited.

[Arlene]

I'm completely uninhabited.

[Mr. Ace]

And her arguments are unequivocally irrefutable. Yes, I should have suspected something the day we got married 15 years ago. The day Paul asked if he could come along on our honeymoon and I said no. And Jane said, I'll let him come along there. He's never been on a honeymoon. And I should have suspected something. The other night after dinner when Jane and I were sitting around the living room and Jane gave me that guess who routine, it went something like this.

[Arlene]

Well, dear, guess who called me up today?

[Mr. Ace]

Rochelle Hudson. No, I give up.

[Arlene]

My brother Paul.

[Mr. Ace]

Oh, how much did he want this time?

[Arlene]

Oh, he's fine. No, I say Pauline's fine too.

[Mr. Ace]

Yes, I say, how much?

[Arlene]

You know that next week they will have been married 10 years. My, how time flies. Yeah, it seems like only a year ago they were married only nine years. Well, when he told me 10 years, you could have knocked me down with a sander. I said, paul, you mean to say that you've been. Now just a minute, dear. What did you mean, how much did he want? Who said anything about money?

[Mr. Ace]

Oh, that he didn't want any money.

[Ms. Anderson]

Who?

[Arlene]

Who said he didn't?

[Mr. Ace]

Well, which is it?

[Arlene]

$200.

[Mr. Ace]

Jane, I'm not going to give it to him. Why doesn't the guy go to work?

[Arlene]

Oh, now, dear, you know, there are many reasons.

[Mr. Ace]

I'd like to hear them.

[Arlene]

Well, the third reason is.

[Mr. Ace]

Wait just a minute. What happened to win and place?

[Arlene]

Beg pardon?

[Mr. Ace]

What are the first two reasons?

[Arlene]

Well, first, because he was sick last year.

[Jane]

Oh, sure.

[Arlene]

No, he was just about to get a job when he got intentional flu.

[Mr. Ace]

I knew you'd finally come up with the right word.

[Arlene]

Well, the flu isn't to be sneezed at.

[Mr. Ace]

What's another good reason?

[Arlene]

Well, like Paul says, what's the dollar worth today? Practically nothing.

[Mr. Ace]

Oh, he's not going to work until a dollar gets back to what it should be worth.

[Arlene]

Yes, 57 cents, of course.

[Mr. Ace]

Naturally.

[Arlene]

You remember how we used to be able to get meat and butter? Practically a groton or rotten. Free.

[Mr. Ace]

Free, Naturally.

[Arlene]

The Paul says if you'll lend him $200. He'll be forever indebted to you.

[Mr. Ace]

Forever is what I'm afraid of.

[Arlene]

He needed for something very important. He didn't want to tell me in front of Arlene, but he'll tell you when he comes to see you at 9:30 tomorrow at your office.

[Mr. Ace]

Jane, I haven't got 200 bucks to throw away.

[Arlene]

What's not throwing it away? Are you insinuating that my brother isn't going to pay you back?

[Mr. Ace]

Oh, no, of course not.

[Jane]

He's as good as gone gold.

[Arlene]

Why, he's as good as the bank of England.

[Mr. Ace]

That's what I mean. As usual, when I get into an argument with Jane about her brother, I ran second and paid 280 the place. Because the next morning when I got to my office. Oh, I ought to tell you this. I work in the advertising business, make a nice living minus withholding and Social Security. It's a pretty fair job. Of course, Jane always exaggerates my importance there by telling everybody I'm a big cog in the machinery.

[Arlene]

He's a big cog in the machinery.

[Mr. Ace]

The only thing I can't stand about the job is my secretary, Ms. Anderson. Why don't I get rid of her? She's a cousin of Jane's, twice removed. That is, I removed her twice. That Jane got her back three times. With the score now 3 to 2 in her favor, Ms. Anderson practically runs the office her way.

[Ms. Anderson]

I practically run the office my way.

[Mr. Ace]

She never thinks of me as her boss.

[Ms. Anderson]

I never think of him as my boss.

[Mr. Ace]

She considers me primitive in my business methods and practically a Neanderthal in this atomic age.

[Ms. Anderson]

He's a schmol.

[Mr. Ace]

Oh, she's a doll. D U, double L. So I got to my office about 9:30 the next morning and I asked Ms. Anderson if there had been any calls.

[Ms. Anderson]

Oh, yes. Sam Davis called.

[Mr. Ace]

Sam Davis?

[Jane]

Who's he?

[Mr. Ace]

What did he want?

[Ms. Anderson]

Well, he wanted a date for Saturday night so I told him I was going to the movie Saturday night with Bill Wilson.

[Jane]

Yes, I know.

[Ms. Anderson]

And I gave him Wednesday night. We're going dancing. Sam's an awfully good dancer. Much better than Bill and Sam.

[Mr. Ace]

Ms. Anderson, please. Any sideline calls? I mean for me, the advertising business, you remember.

[Ms. Anderson]

Oh, let me see. There was somebody. What was it?

[Mr. Ace]

Now, isn't that awful? Well, if it comes to you, Ms. Anderson, you'll be in touch with me. I'll just go into my office and wait.

[Ms. Anderson]

Oh, sure. I'll let you know if it comes to me.

[Jane]

Isn't that Awful.

[Paul]

Well, there you are. Is that a nice thing to do? Keep your brother in law waiting.

[Mr. Ace]

Oh, Ms. Anderson, is this the.

[Ms. Anderson]

Oh, yes, that's it. Your brother in law is waiting to see you.

[Jane]

Yeah.

[Mr. Ace]

Ms. Anderson, take a. I was just.

[Mr. Noyer]

Congratulating your husband on a fine job he did for our cigarette account.

[Mr. Ace]

Oh, it was nothing really, Mr. Noyer.

[Paul]

Nothing, he says.

[Mr. Noyer]

Don't let his modesty fool you, Mrs.

[Mr. Ace]

Ace.

[Paul]

All right, Jane, ask him about that.

[Mr. Noyer]

I can safely say at this point that your husband is the most valuable man in our shop. Give credit where credit is due, I always say.

[Arlene]

You do? I always say feed a cold and starve a fever.

[Jane]

Jane, please.

[Mr. Noyer]

I hope you're as proud of him as I am, Mrs.

[Narrator]

Ace.

[Arlene]

No, I am.

[Paul]

Jane, ask him to sign the.

[Mr. Noyer]

Once again, congratulations, Mr.

[Mr. Ace]

Ace. Well, thanks, but.

[Arlene]

Congratulations, Bill.

[Mr. Ace]

Well, thanks, James.

[Paul]

Can't we ask him to sign you?

[Mr. Noyer]

This campaign will make you famous, Mr. Ace. How about it, Mrs.

[Paul]

Ace?

[Mr. Noyer]

Your husband's a celebrity.

[Mr. Ace]

Oh, now, a celebrity.

[Arlene]

Oh, dear, I'm so proud of you. It's like having a movie star in the family.

[Mr. Ace]

Movie star? I suppose next you'll be asking for my autograph.

[Paul]

Jane, how about getting him to sign?

[Arlene]

Autograph? Yes, that's an idea. Give me your autograph, dear.

[Mr. Ace]

Oh, now, Jane, that's carrying a joke, dear.

[Arlene]

You're a celebrity.

[Paul]

No, go ahead, Mr. A's.

[Mr. Ace]

Give your wife your autograph, Mr. Hornets. Oh, this is embarrassing.

[Arlene]

On this piece of paper right here. Here's your fan.

[Mr. Ace]

Oh, I feel kind of idiotic, but few insist. What is this paper? I.

[Mr. Noyer]

Go ahead, sign your name.

[Mr. Ace]

All right.

[Jane]

Here you are.

[Mr. Ace]

This kind of silly autograph to my own wife.

[Arlene]

That's it. Now. Thanks, dear. Give me that.

[Paul]

Nice work, sir.

[Mr. Ace]

What was that piece of paper, James? Well, Mrs.

[Mr. Noyer]

Ace, let's clear out and leave the big man to his own thoughts. Confidentially, I think he wants to be alone.

[Arlene]

Yes, that's exactly where I'm.

[Mr. Ace]

Announcers.

[Jane]

Ken is always spelling out everything.

[Mr. Ace]

He's a sort of a ham.

[Narrator]

I'm a sort of a ham. Ham is spelled H A M. He's.

[Mr. Ace]

Always practicing his commercials.

[Narrator]

To Jane, if you're not satisfied, return the unused portion of our product and we will return the unused portion of your money.

[Mr. Ace]

So before Paul got to the house, Ken was visiting with Jane.

[Narrator]

Hey, Jane, that's an attractive dress you're wearing today.

[Arlene]

You do? Well, thanks. And may I return the compliment and say it's one of my favorites, too? Where have you been? Can long face no seat?

[Narrator]

Oh, you Mean? Yesterday, when I was busy down at the studio all day practicing announcing, I stood in front of that microphone and gave it everything I had. Had is spelled H, A, D. What did you announce? Oh, anything that came to my mind. Mind is spelled M I, N, D.

[Arlene]

You mean you just made up commercial about whole wheat?

[Narrator]

Yeah. In a commercial, it doesn't matter what you say. Just so you sell it like this show is brought to you by the Krovna Company, makers of those delicious, tasty after shaving lozenges. Four out of five doctors have studied medicine. And remember our famous money back guarantee. If you're not satisfied, you can get double your money back by writing direct to the Krovner Company, Newark, New Jersey, Post Office Box 27. I'll repeat that address. The Krovner Company, Dallas, Texas, post office box 10. That's the Krovner Company, spelled C, O, M, P, A, N, Y. Company scientists approve that. Four out of five is 80%.

[Arlene]

Excuse me, Ken, there's somebody at the door.

[Mr. Ace]

A letter to China. And don't hurry back.

[Ms. Anderson]

Very funny.

[Paul]

Well, brother, how's the world treating you?

[Mr. Ace]

Not very often.

[Paul]

I haven't seen you in some time. How long has it been?

[Mr. Ace]

Oh, about $25 ago.

[Paul]

25? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Say yes. Has been 90 days, hasn't it? You're not worried about that 25, are you?

[Jane]

Oh, no.

[Mr. Ace]

I took it off my income.

[Paul]

Or deducted it from your income tax, huh?

[Mr. Ace]

No, just from my income. Paul, would you mind taking your overcoat off my desk?

[Jane]

Oh, sure.

[Paul]

Excuse me. Recognize the overcoat?

[Jane]

Yes, I do.

[Paul]

Two winters ago, remember that cold winter and you were going to get a new coat, and you decided you might as well give me this one. Jane told you.

[Mr. Ace]

Look, Paul, I'm quite busy this morning.

[Paul]

You know what I wish you'd get? A camel hair polo coat.

[Mr. Ace]

You know what I wish you'd get?

[Paul]

What?

[Jane]

To the point.

[Mr. Ace]

You want me to give you $200, is that it?

[Paul]

Not give Lynn.

[Mr. Ace]

The answer is no.

[Paul]

Oh, now, wait a minute, brother. It isn't for myself. I want the 200.

[Mr. Ace]

I haven't got 200.

[Paul]

It's for Arlene. We have a 10th wedding anniversary next Wednesday, and I want to get her something she needs pretty bad.

[Mr. Ace]

For $200? Yeah.

[Paul]

I'm getting her a. A tonsillectomy.

[Mr. Ace]

You're going to have your wife's tonsils removed as an anniversary present?

[Narrator]

Why not?

[Mr. Ace]

It's something practical, something she wouldn't buy for herself.

[Paul]

Yeah, yeah.

[Arlene]

Going. Come on, Paul. See you later, dear.

[Mr. Ace]

All I can say in defense of my simpering self is that I am the first and only co signer who ever signed his name. Sincerely yours. I never would have known I even signed the thing if something hadn't happened. A week later, Jane and I were sitting around the living room after dinner and I was doing a little bragging. Jane, remember that cigarette campaign Mr. Norris congratulated me on about a week ago? He gave me a $500 bonus today. Pretty good, huh?

[Arlene]

Yes, dear.

[Mr. Ace]

Well, is that the most enthusiasm you could work up? I thought at least you'd cheer.

[Arlene]

Yippee, dear.

[Mr. Ace]

Well, thanks, if you can spare that. Oh, maybe this will brighten you up, though. I'm going to take 200 of this bonus and give it to Paul. Arlene does have to have her tons of thousand as long as I can.

[Arlene]

No, dear, you don't have to now.

[Mr. Ace]

But, Jane, it was only a week ago today that you came.

[Arlene]

I know, dear, but Paul got that money already.

[Mr. Ace]

Where?

[Arlene]

Last week. But I'll tell you what you can do.

[Mr. Ace]

No, I said, where did Paul get.

[Arlene]

You want to do somebody a favor? How about increasing my allowance?

[Mr. Ace]

Where did Paul get the two? Increasing your allowance? How much?

[Arlene]

Oh, around $4.40 a week.

[Mr. Ace]

4:40? How'd you arrive at that round figure?

[Arlene]

Well, I might as well get this out of my cistern.

[Mr. Ace]

Okay, sister, and what is it?

[Arlene]

I'll begin at the beginning.

[Mr. Ace]

Yes, you do that, and I'll make.

[Arlene]

It short and sappy. Nash, remember last week when I came to your office and you were a celebrity and you signed your autograph on a piece of paper I gave you a fine celebrity.

[Jane]

Yes.

[Arlene]

Well, that day you opened a charge account at the Confidential Loan Company.

[Mr. Ace]

Yeah, fine.

[Paul]

So I. What?

[Arlene]

Paul borrowed 200 and you autographed the note.

[Jane]

Oh, no.

[Arlene]

That's the price of fame, dear.

[Mr. Ace]

Oh, no.

[Arlene]

Oh, yes. And today they called up that Paul missed the first payment. Four dollars and forty cents.

[Mr. Ace]

If they expect me to make good, I won't do it. I'll call Paul. I'll call the loan company. I'll call Arlene and tell her what her husband did.

[Narrator]

I'll call.

[Arlene]

There's one call you forgot there.

[Mr. Ace]

What's that?

[Arlene]

Well, while you're at it, call the doctor and tell him to put Arlene's tonsils back.

[Jane]

Isn't that awful?

[Narrator]

Next week, Chapter two, entitled Jane gets a Summons to serve on a Jury. But she doesn't like the case being tried, so she goes upstairs and gets on another jury hearing a spicy divorce case, making it 11 on one jury and 13 on another. And Mr. Ace gets fined $50 for contempt of court.

[Mr. Ace]

Or is there no justice? Good night.

[Arlene]

Good night.

[Narrator]

This is cbs, the Columbia Broadcasting.