Mr Ace and Jane 48-03-20 The Mink Coat

Summary

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Episode Summary

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: Mr. Ace and Jane — "The Mink Coat" (Original Airdate: March 20, 1948)

Release Date: October 19, 2025

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Overview of the Episode

This episode of "Mr. Ace and Jane" features a classic domestic comedy built around a simple yet chaos-inducing request: Jane wants a mink coat. Mr. Ace balks at the price, leading to a domino effect that unravels an intricate and highly comedic social and economic chain reaction. Through fast-paced dialogue, wordplay, and escalating misunderstandings, the show deftly lampoons how a single family's spending decision can inadvertently set off a citywide commercial farce.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Mink Coat Request: Domestic Comedy in Action

• Jane adds a mink coat to her shopping list ([04:09]):

  • Jane: “Toothbrush, soap, cleansing cream, mink coat, and lipstick. Anything you need, dear?”
  • Mr. Ace at first doesn’t notice, and then hilarity ensues as he recognizes the enormity of Jane’s ask.

• Sticker Shock and Marital Negotiations ([05:46]):

  • Jane reveals the real price is $4,000 for the coat, sparking comedic heart palpitations from Mr. Ace.
  • Jane (as Mr. Ace panics): “Now, dear, take it easy. Relapse. Remember your blood pleasure.”
  • Mr. Ace promises the coat only if his advertising deal comes through: “I have a 50% chance of getting it” ([07:06]).

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2. The Chain Reaction: How the Whole Town Gets Involved

• Assumed Certainty Spreads (From Mrs. Ace to Mr. Daniels and Beyond):

  • Jane calls Daniels' Fur Shop to put a hold on the coat, telling him it’s “60% certain” she can buy it ([08:21]).
  • Mr. Daniels, in turn, tells his wife they are “70% sure” to buy a country home because of the probable coat sale ([09:24]).
  • Mrs. Daniels informs Mr. Beckley, the realtor, who relays to the paint supplier (Royal Paint Co.) that the sale is “90% certain” ([11:21]).
  • Every party inflates their own optimism based on the previous link in the chain, all the way to Mr. Ace’s agency.

• Running Gag – “Did he come out flat-headed and say no?”

  • This phrase becomes a serial justification for assuming permission where there is none, illustrating escalating misunderstandings throughout.

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3. Escalation and Farce: Everyone Waiting, No One Deciding

• Waiting for Confirmations ([13:57–15:01]):

  • Mr. Ace, Mr. Benson, Mr. Beckley, Mrs. Daniels, Mr. Daniels, Jane—all sit by the phone, each one waiting for a confirmation from the next person in line, creating a perfect (and hilarious) feedback loop.

• Jane’s Confidante: Ken Roberts, the Neighbor ([17:49]):

  • Ken, a radio announcer neighbor, encourages Jane:
    • Ken: “But I think if your husband didn’t say no exactly, you should have the mink coat. What you ought to do is order it and then it’ll be too late.”
    • Jane is convinced—especially once Ken suggests she have her initials put in the lining: “Get the behind me, satin. Hell, I’m gonna do it.” ([18:41])

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4. The Domino Collapse

• Jane Places the Order, Everyone Proceeds ([20:30]):

  • Jane orders the coat with her initials, triggering the next link in the chain and setting a flurry of business contracts into motion.

• A Change of Heart: Jane Cancels the Coat ([22:24]):

  • Jane, beset by guilt (and a convoluted sense of right and wrong), decides to cancel the order—even after Mr. Ace reassures her the deal has gone through.
  • The cancellation ricochets: the fur shop cancels the house purchase, which cancels the paint order, which leads to the loss of Mr. Ace’s advertising deal.

• Culminating Catastrophe ([25:12–26:20]):

  • The paint campaign is called off, and the reason finally emerges:
    • Mr. Benson: “Mink coat.”
    • Mr. Ace: “What’s that got to do with this advertising campaign for your paint company?”
    • Every link is causally tied back to Jane’s initial whim, creating the classic sitcom “reverse cascade.”

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5. Full Circle and Restoration

• Comic Resolution ([27:03–28:25]):
  • After much squabbling and recrimination, Mr. Ace insists Jane buy the mink coat, calling the deal back on and thus resetting the entire farcical cycle.
  • Jane, ever the comedian: “It’s no skin off your back.”
  • Mr. Ace: “That one coat is a great idea.”
  • The episode concludes with everyone back where they began, none the wiser, all the funnier.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• Jane’s Expert Logic:
  • Jane, on justifying the coat: “If he didn’t want me to, he’d have come out flat-headed and said so.” ([08:30], recurring line)
• Mr. Ace’s Desperation:
  • Mr. Ace (when Jane reveals the price): “$4,000! Now, look, Jane, let’s be reasonable. Where am I going to get that kind of money?” ([06:00])
• Ken Roberts' Deadpan Advice:
  • Ken: “What you ought to do is order it and then it’ll be too late.” ([18:06])
• Jane’s Sense of Duty:
  • Jane (on deciding to cancel): “A wife must take the bitter with the better. And until things get better, I’ll be satisfied with the bitter. Don’t you think I better?” ([23:17])
• Mr. Ace’s Resignation:
  • Mr. Ace: “You ruined a whole big advertising campaign for me.” ([27:23])
• Jane’s Classic Zinger:
  • Jane (on being forced to buy the coat): “It’s no skin off your back.” ([28:09])
• Wordplay Finale:
  • Jane and Mr. Ace:
    • “Me for you, and me for you.”
    • “And T for two.” ([27:31])

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Important Segment Timestamps

• [04:09] – Jane reveals the mink coat is on her shopping list.
• [05:46] – Jane discloses the price jump to $4,000.
• [07:06] – Mr. Ace promises the coat, contingent on a business deal.
• [08:21] – Jane claims “60% certainty” to the furrier.
• [11:21] – Paint order based on successively inflated “certainty.”
• [13:57] – The cluster of phone calls and mutual waiting sets up the farcical loop.
• [18:06] – Ken’s advice to Jane: act before it’s too late.
• [20:30] – Jane places the decisive order.
• [22:24] – Jane’s crisis of conscience, decision to cancel.
• [25:12–26:20] – Cascade of canceled business deals.
• [27:03–28:25] – Mr. Ace and Jane finally resolve to buy the coat after all.

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Tone and Style

The episode is rich in light-hearted banter, deadpan delivery, elaborate puns, and escalating misunderstandings—classic for golden age radio situation comedies. Characters are quick-witted, the humor is playful and self-aware, and the story cleverly demonstrates the butterfly effect of small domestic disputes.

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For More:
This episode is part of an ongoing serial featuring Mr. Ace and Jane’s comic misadventures and domestic upsets. Next week’s preview teases more workplace and family chaos.

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Transcript

[A]

And Doug, here we have the limu emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

[B]

Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us?

[A]

Cut the camera. They see us. Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty Savings. Very unwritten by Liberty Mutual insurance company.

[C]

And affiliates excludes Massachusetts.

[B]

From New York City. The Columbia broadcasting system, in cooperation with the United States army and the United States Air Force recruiting service, presents the new Mr. Ace and Jane program, a weekly half hour comedy series starring radio's original comedy couple the Aces. Once again, the strains of Manhattan serenade introduce the story of Mr. Ace and his wife Jane. Tonight, chapter six, entitled Jane asks Mr. Ace to buy her a mink coat. And when she tells him how much it would cost, Mr. Ace replies, it would be cheaper to go to Florida. And Jane says she'll save money by cutting down on other things. Or as Mr. H puts it, how.

[C]

I gave up smoking for 75 years. You wouldn't believe one mink coat could start a depression in the whole city of New York. Tell you all about it in just a moment.

[B]

Before we join Mr. Ace and Jane, I'd like to get in a word about the men who have already joined our army or our air force. You know, I like to talk about these Americans because they're men we can be proud of. They're doing the most important job there is, keeping this nation safe and at peace at the same time. They've done themselves a big favor for they're really going places, advancing their own careers and ensuring their lifetime security. That's a mighty good combination, isn't it? Yes, sir. When a young man chooses the army or the air force, he's making a wise choice both for himself and his country. And now, Mr. Ace, what was that you were saying about a mink coast?

[C]

I ran across an interesting quotation the other day. I'd like to read it to you. No man is an island entire of itself. Every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. Fine way to start a radio comedy program. What's happening to radio? Well, to tell the truth, I didn't know exactly what the quotation meant myself, so I read it aloud to Jane and she said, do you think I.

[D]

Ought to let out the ham on this grass some more?

[B]

And she's so right now, there is a woman.

[C]

There is a woman who lives on an island all by herself up around Lake Marijuana. But to get back to the quotation, no man is an island, especially on this island of Manhattan, because our lives are knitted together in one closely stitched pattern. What you do depends on what I do. What I do depends on what Jane does. Oops, dropped the stitch. What happened to me this past week demonstrates what I mean. You see, when Jane and I think of buying something expensive, we talk it over. For instance, when we thought of buying a used car, we found it wasn't what it was cracked up to be.

[D]

We thought of buying a used car, but it wasn't what it was jacked up to be.

[C]

Even when Jane goes to buy lingerie, I make various suggestions.

[D]

Even when I go to buy lingerie. He's very suggestive.

[C]

One of us never does anything without letting the other one know.

[D]

One of us never does anything without letting me know.

[C]

The other night, after a hard day at the advertising agency where I work, I was sitting around reading the paper and Jane was going over her shopping list for the next day.

[D]

Now, let me see if I've got everything down that I want to buy tomorrow. Toothbrush, soap, cleansing cream, mink coat and lipstick. Anything you need, dear. Dear, I'm talking to you.

[C]

Yes. Yes, it has been, hasn't it, dear?

[D]

You're not listening. Put the paper away, look at my shopping list and see if you want to add anything.

[C]

Okay, let me see. Toothbrush, soap, cleansing cream, mink coat and lipstick. No, I don't think so. Unless you want to return those ginger ale bottles. We get a nickel back on each bottle, and every little bit will help. Mink coat.

[B]

What's this mink coat here?

[D]

Where? Oh, yes, mink coat. I meant to talk to you about that. You did, dear. Make a laugh.

[B]

What?

[D]

And make a laugh. I want to sit down.

[C]

Oh, okay, I made a laugh. But you're not going to get there.

[D]

Now, isn't this cozy?

[C]

Oh, fine.

[D]

Oh, look there. Your lap's getting a front porch here.

[C]

Yes, and if you'll look around and back, you'll find a veranda. Jane, about this mink coat business, dear.

[D]

I thought again today. It's a dream. You know that first shop around the.

[C]

Corner just to say hello to.

[D]

Well, I've been passing it every day. And there's this dream mink coat in the window. The girl wearing it looks so smart. Of course, she's just a dummy, and so could I.

[C]

How much?

[D]

It's full length and it'll cover all my dresses.

[C]

Oh, how much?

[D]

It's the softest mink. It's wild.

[C]

Who Isn't how much, Jane?

[D]

That's just it. You haven't heard the half of it.

[C]

Well, how much?

[D]

$2,000.

[B]

$2,000?

[C]

That's pretty reasonable for a good mink coat, isn't it?

[D]

Now you've heard the half of it. Altogether, it's 4000.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

What?

[D]

Now, dear, take it easy. Relapse. Remember your blood pleasure.

[C]

$4,000. Now, look, Jane, let's be reasonable. Where am I going to get that kind of money?

[D]

I knew you were going to say that. I knew it. I knew it.

[C]

But, Jane, you know we can't afford to spend all that money.

[D]

Everybody gets some pleasure out of our money but me.

[A]

Who?

[B]

What?

[D]

How about your sister's oldest boy when he had his tonsils out?

[C]

Oh, that was.

[D]

And your brother's youngest girl when she had her adenoids out?

[C]

Yes, I know.

[D]

You paid for all that. Everybody has a wonderful time on our money but me.

[C]

Oh, fine, wonderful time, lady.

[D]

And how about your mother's teeth? Who paid for that?

[C]

Let's leave my mother's teeth out of there, shall we?

[D]

Oh, when I mention your mother's teeth, they hurt. Oh, I suppose you'll be happy if I don't have a fur coat and get pneumonia and have to spend the winter in an oxidal tent.

[C]

That's a sparkling notion. Look, Jane, I'll tell you what I'm going to do.

[D]

Oh, I knew you would.

[C]

Wait. Wait a minute now.

[D]

No, no, don't stop.

[C]

Listen to this.

[D]

Right.

[C]

I've got a big advertising account coming up. Pretty good chance of getting it, too. It's for the Royal Paint Company.

[B]

If I get it, there'll be a.

[C]

Bonus in it for me, and then you can have the main code.

[D]

Oh, thanks.

[C]

Wait a minute now. No, I said if I get the account, I have a 50% chance of getting it.

[D]

Oh, well, that's only the half of it, dear. You'll get it. And if I'm wrong, I'm not far from it.

[C]

When I told Jane there was a 50% chance of getting the account, I wasn't kidding. The other 50% depended on how fast business improved at the Royal Paint Company. In fact, there was a certain color the paint company hoped to be out of these.

[B]

Red.

[C]

If I'm not too suppressive. Well, no paint company is an island, entire of itself. Watch how this pattern begins to weave. Now, after I left for the office the next morning, Jane got busy on the telephone.

[D]

Hello? Is this the Daniel's first shop?

[A]

Yes. Mr. Daniels speaking.

[D]

Oh, I didn't recognize your voice. This is Mrs. Ace.

[B]

Oh, Mrs.

[A]

Ace, I didn't recognize you either.

[D]

Just fine, Mr. Daniels. Remember that mink coat I've been looking at?

[A]

I certainly do.

[B]

A lot of women have been looking at it.

[D]

Yes, it certainly is. Well, Mr. Daniels, could you hold that coat for me?

[A]

Oh, you mean you're buying it?

[D]

Well, practically.

[A]

What do you mean, practically?

[D]

Well, I talked to my husband about it last night and he said it's 60% certain I can buy it.

[A]

Well, good for you, Mrs. H. Thank you.

[B]

That is, if he'll really let you buy it.

[D]

Oh, I'm sure he will. Because if he didn't want me to, he'd have come out flat headed and said so. Doesn't it to you?

[A]

That's right, of course. Tell you what I'm going to do.

[B]

Mrs. H. You will.

[A]

I don't usually hold coats without at least a deposit.

[B]

But I have a certain reason for doing it for you. Because if you buy this coat, it'll.

[A]

Come in mighty handy for me.

[B]

My wife will be thrilled to hear about this.

[A]

I'm going to call her now and tell her.

[D]

Hello?

[B]

Hello, Mrs. Daniels?

[D]

Yes, this is Mrs. Daniels.

[B]

Mrs. Daniels, this is a man named Daniels who claims to be married to you.

[D]

Hello, John, you say?

[C]

Oh, silly am I?

[B]

Not too silly to buy you that home out in the country you've been wanting so bad, John.

[D]

Not really.

[C]

Now who's selling?

[D]

Oh, John, you don't mean it. Are we really going to finally buy it?

[C]

Well, it's practically ours, honey.

[D]

Oh, practically? What do you mean, practically ours?

[C]

Well, I'd say it's 70% ours.

[D]

70%?

[C]

You know that mink coat I've had in the shop so long? Well, Mrs. Ace just called me and said her husband told her he was 70% certain she could have it.

[D]

But that's not definite, John.

[C]

But Mary, if you didn't want her to have it, wouldn't he have come out flat headed and said so?

[B]

Well, doesn't it to you, John?

[A]

You're so excited.

[B]

I certainly am. We've been dreaming about that house for some time now. You go right ahead and plan on it.

[D]

Oh, John, you're a darling. In fact, Mr. Beckley from the real estate office called me just a little while ago. I told him to give us another day or two to think it over. Will he be surprised when I call him back now?

[A]

Beckley Real Estate. Mr. Beckley speaking.

[D]

Hello, Mr. Beckley, this is Mrs. Daniels again.

[A]

Oh, hello, Mrs. Daniels. Got some good news for me?

[D]

I think I have. If you call it good news that we're going to buy that house.

[A]

Well, congratulations, Mrs. Daniels. Your husband changed his mind rather suddenly, didn't he?

[D]

He certainly did. But the house is practically ours now.

[A]

What do you mean practically?

[D]

Well, Mr. Daniels just phoned me. He said it was 80% certain.

[A]

Only 80%?

[D]

Well, if he didn't want me to buy it, he'd have come out flat headed and said so.

[A]

You're a little excited, aren't you, Mrs. Daniels?

[D]

Well, doesn't it to you?

[A]

Well, yes, I must admit it does. Or did.

[D]

What did you ask me, Mr. Beckley? It's as certain as anything could be. And oh yes, Mr. Beckley, I want to remind you that you promised to fix it up in good shape. It certainly needs a lot of renovating. I'll be out this afternoon and sign the papers and give you a deposit.

[A]

Good. And don't worry about the renovating. It's going to be painted thoroughly. As a matter of fact, that's the last house we have in that subdivision. And now that you're going to buy it, I'm going to order a paint job for every house out there. In fact, I feel safe in calling the paint people now and putting in the order.

[D]

Royal Paint Company.

[A]

Good morning, this is Mr. Beckley. May I speak to Mr. Benson? He knows what it's about.

[D]

Just a moment, please.

[B]

Benson speaking.

[A]

Oh, good morning, Mr. Benson. This is Beckley out on Long island. Oh, yes, Mr. Beckley.

[B]

What's the good word this morning?

[A]

The good word is that I'm going to put through that paint order. Yes, you finally got rid of that last house out there, huh? Well, it's about 90% certain. Ninety percent? Well, I mean, the woman's husband didn't come out flat headed and say no. You're a little excited, aren't you? I certainly am. Now, I'm giving you this order in plenty of time and I ought to get delivery on the paint pretty quick. Doesn't it to you? It certainly does. I mean, yes, it will. Oh, that reminds me. I'm glad you called me. I've been waiting to hear from you on this order before. I did something myself.

[B]

I gotta make a call.

[A]

Thanks for the order, Beckley.

[B]

Yes, this is Mr. A.

[A]

And this is Mr. Benson. Royal Paint.

[B]

Oh, yes, Mr. Benson.

[C]

What's new? Well, looks like we're gonna do some advertising. Really? Gee, that's swell.

[A]

I was just sitting here working out.

[C]

An idea for you.

[A]

Good. It's about 99% certain. I can tell you now the reason I've Been hesitating? Yeah. We've been waiting on a pretty big paint order and it looks now like.

[B]

We'Re gonna get it. Oh, okay.

[A]

As I say, it's 99% certain. I'll call you about 3 or 4 o' clock this afternoon.

[C]

Give you the definite.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Well, I think we can push that.

[C]

Other 1% over by 3 or 4 o'.

[A]

Clock.

[C]

That's the way I be. Oh, sure.

[A]

The man I was waiting for to come across with the order wasn't going.

[B]

To buy the paint.

[A]

He'd have come out flat headed and said so. Doesn't it to you?

[B]

Oh, sure, Jane.

[D]

I mean.

[A]

What do you think? I'll tell you what we want to do, Ms. Abe.

[C]

Yeah?

[A]

I'd like to have you concentrate on one particular quality of our paint. It's a one coat pink.

[B]

One coat.

[C]

That's funny.

[A]

What? Nothing.

[C]

I was just thinking of that one coat that kind of reminded me of.

[B]

Something I was talking to Mrs.

[C]

Ace about last night. I'll be working on an idea for you, Mr. Benson. I've got to make a call right now.

[D]

Hello?

[C]

Hello, Jane. Guess what.

[D]

You mean guess who, don't you dear?

[C]

No, no. I mean guess what happened. Got a call from the paint company and the deal is 99 and 3/4% certain.

[D]

Oh, that's a shame. I wanted a full length coat, not three quarters.

[C]

Isn't that awful, Jane? It looks like I'm going to get their advertising. The guy didn't turn me down, Jane. He didn't come right out flat footed and say no.

[D]

You're so excited.

[A]

You said flat footed.

[B]

What?

[D]

Oh, that's wonderful. You mean I can handle?

[C]

You certainly can. Oh, but you better wait till about 3 or 4 o'. Clock. I expect to get a call from Mr. Benson definitely okaying the deal by that time.

[D]

3 or 4 o'?

[B]

Clock?

[D]

Okay, dear. I'll be waiting on pins and cushions.

[B]

Yes, you do.

[C]

Well, three o' clock came, four o' clock came, my shadow came and still no call from the Royal Paint Company. How was I to know he was waiting to hear from somebody else who was waiting to hear from somebody else who was waiting to hear from Jane, who was waiting to hear from me. A sort of tinkers to evers to 50% chance. How vicious can a circle be? Finally I decided to take a chance myself. I called the Royal paint company and Mr. Benson said.

[A]

Sorry, Mr. Ace, I haven't heard from that real estate man. I'll call him now, see what's holding him up. Sorry Mr. Benson, but I Haven't heard from that woman. I'll call her up right now.

[D]

Sorry, Mr. Begley, but I haven't heard from my husband. I'll phone him right away.

[B]

Sorry, honey, but I haven't heard from Mrs.

[A]

Ace. I'll get her on the phone right now.

[D]

Sorry, Mr. Daniels, but I haven't heard from my husband.

[B]

Well, why hasn't he called you?

[D]

It's behind me. I've been sitting at this phone till I'm black and blue. I even took four showers.

[B]

Four showers?

[D]

The phone always rings when I'm in the shower.

[B]

Oh, and. And he hasn't called you?

[D]

No, he hasn't.

[E]

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[B]

Mrs. H. You're not kidding me, are you? Are you sure your husband didn't say no. Come clean now.

[D]

Come clean. Mr. Daniels, I told you I've taken four showers. I'm gonna call Ms. Drace and see what's going. Or not.

[C]

No, Jane, I haven't heard from him. If I had, I'd have called you. I phoned him and told him to let me know, and he hasn't called. And he looked like the coat's off.

[D]

Well, dear, what'll I tell Mr. Daniels to do with the coat?

[A]

Uh, no comment.

[C]

Are you lost? Well, don't get discouraged. It gets even more complicated now. A new character has crept into the melee. That's our next door neighbor, Ken Roberts, the radio announcer. Oh, you've heard him. A million times he announces commercials like.

[B]

Like 50 years ago, the Black Hose Company began selling the public its high quality products. And just as it was 50 years.

[A]

Ago, it's March 20th.

[C]

He's full of hysterical facts.

[B]

For more than two generations, the public has been taking black coats. And for more than two generations, the Black Hose Company has been taking the public.

[C]

He's so effervescent.

[B]

A small purchase from your blackhose dealer will save you money. A large purchase from your Black hose dealer will save your glycos dealer.

[C]

That's Ken Roberts. And his biggest fan is Jane. They exchange confidences. He reads her his commercials and she tells him her troubles.

[D]

So you see, Ken, I'm really in a quarry.

[B]

Well, Jane, I don't like to interfere in anything as personal as trying to make your husband buy you a mink coat.

[D]

But.

[B]

But I think if your husband didn't say no. Exactly. You should have the mink coat. What you ought to do is order it and then it'll be too late.

[D]

You mean I. Excuse me, that's too high. You mean I ought to get the coat without waiting for him to say if I should?

[B]

Well, he didn't say no, Jane.

[D]

Well, no, but he said it was only a 60. 60 chance.

[B]

Well, that's good enough for a maybe. And if you ordered the coat and had your initials put in the patent lining, it would be too late for him to change his mind.

[D]

Oh, no, I couldn't do that, Kim.

[B]

I would if I were you.

[D]

Well, if you're going to talk me into a tent, I will.

[C]

Now, wait a minute.

[B]

Don't blame me for this. All I said was if you had your initials put in the satin lining.

[D]

Get the behind me. Satin? Hell, I'm gonna do it.

[B]

Wait a minute, Jane. Take it easy. Why don't you take one full minute and think it over quietly?

[D]

One minute. Okay.

[B]

And so that minute shouldn't be a total loss. I'm gonna read this commercial I'm doing on a show tonight.

[D]

How can you trick me?

[B]

Well, it was worth it. Cause you know, these days might be called school days in the United States Army. For in our new army, education has a mighty important place. And the subjects taught cover every possible field of learning. In fact, today's soldier is the best educated soldier in history. The army's education facilities are open to every qualified young man with no long waiting list.

[D]

I waited so long for a mate Code.

[B]

So if you're a young man who wants to learn and earn at the same time, visit your nearest recruiting office. Right away. A high school graduate may select the type of technical training he wants before he enlists. Any soldier may take courses in the famed Armed Forces Institute for high school.

[C]

And college credit on credit.

[B]

Or a soldier may qualify for the Potential Leaders School which will train him for leadership in the army or in civilian life later on. Whatever type of training a young man wants is almost sure to be found in today's United States Army. Yes, for learning and earning, the Army's your best.

[D]

Ken, I'm gonna buy it. Thanks for helping me decide. You're a godsend.

[C]

Well, if you own any stock in American Tell and tell don't sell. Hang on to it, because here we go again. Jane has made up her mind to buy the coat and is now about to start that business cycle. A cycle built for six, you know.

[D]

Is that you, Mr. Daniels?

[B]

That's right.

[D]

This is Mrs. H. Oh, yes, Mrs.

[C]

Ace.

[A]

Am I glad to hear from you.

[D]

Just fine. It's about those initials, Mr. Daniels. I'll take the coat. Initials J, A in the lining. Will you put the initials in?

[A]

Oh, then your husband said it was all right.

[D]

Well, we'll cross him when we come to it. I'll be down for a fitting and we'll talk it all over.

[A]

Gee, that's. Well, Mrs. Ace, I'm sure glad you called.

[B]

I appreciate it.

[A]

My wife appreciates it. I'll phone her right now.

[D]

John, dear, is it really true?

[B]

It sure is, honey.

[A]

Well, Mrs. Daniel, I'm very happy for you.

[D]

Isn't it wonderful, Mr. Beckley?

[A]

Thank you, Mr. Beckley. A thousand gallons to start with. That's right, Mr. Benson. Oh, wonderful, Mr. Benson.

[C]

I'll get to work on some paint copy right away.

[A]

Concentrate on that one coat idea.

[C]

Yeah, that one coat is a great idea.

[A]

I mean, I think. Excuse me.

[B]

No, now.

[C]

Now, wait just a minute. It's not over. I know the story sounds as if it's finished and Jane gets the coats and I get the account. And at this point I should be saying, well, we're a little early, folks, so, hello. But you don't know Jane. And I want to warn you at this point that everything gets a little tricky here.

[B]

So watch it.

[C]

Watch it closely, because we won't repeat this. Here we go. I'm sitting in my office after getting the good news about the advertising order for the paint company when who should come sauntering in. But.

[D]

Hello, dear.

[C]

Well, Jane, I was just going to call you.

[D]

Fine.

[C]

Sit down. What's the matter? You look a little beat.

[D]

You mean this hangnail expression?

[C]

Yes, that hang.

[D]

Alice, dear, I've done the most terrible thing I ever did in all the years we've been married. In seven months.

[C]

What did you do?

[D]

But first I want you to know how terrible I feel about it. And I'm going to cancel it.

[B]

What did you.

[D]

And I also want you to know I didn't do it of my own violation.

[C]

What did you.

[D]

I realize now I could never wear it with a clear conscience, no matter how cold it gets.

[C]

What did you.

[B]

Oh, you finished. What?

[C]

What did you do? You don't mean. You ordered that Minko without even waiting to find out if my deal went through.

[D]

In other words, Y.

[C]

What other words?

[D]

But don't worry, dear. I'm gonna cancel it. I told him to go ahead, but there's still time to stop him. I may have to pay the initial cost, though.

[C]

The initial cost?

[D]

I told him to put my monocle in the line.

[C]

Your monocle? I see.

[D]

But I'm gonna cancel the whole thing and no sooner said, the better. Give me that.

[C]

Oh, now wait just a minute, Jay, wait. Put the phone down. You don't have to cancel it. I just put over that deal I was telling you about. So you can get the coat and wear it with a clear conscience, no matter how cold it gets.

[D]

No, dear, that's very sweet, but it's too late. I already did the damage, and this is going to be a lesson to me. A wife must take the bitter with the better. And until things get better, I'll be satisfied with the bitter. Don't you think I better?

[C]

Jane, look, the deal is made. You can get the code.

[D]

No, dear. A person mustn't run around half cropped buying mink coke who's half crocked. I'm going to teach me a lesson if it's the last thing I do. This hurts me more than it does you, dear. And I'm going to do it, or my name's Maud.

[A]

Look.

[C]

Ah, Maude. If you insist on canceling the code, okay. Here's the telephone. Not going to argue with you.

[D]

I'm sorry it has to be this way.

[C]

Okay. Just leave a nickel for the call when you're finished.

[D]

Maybe after this I'll remember to at least ask my husband about it. If I keep doing things like this, I'll be kissing my happy home.

[A]

Hello, this is Mr. Daniels. Who is this?

[D]

Oh, hello, Mr. Daniels. You know that main coat I was looking at?

[E]

Yes.

[D]

Well, I'm not looking at it anymore. Cancel it.

[A]

Oh, this is terrible.

[D]

I'm sorry.

[A]

Oh, goodbye, Mrs. Hayes, I've got to call my wife.

[D]

Oh, no, John, you can't do that.

[C]

I'm sorry, Mary, but that woman canceled.

[B]

The main coat just now. It's off.

[A]

Call Beckley and call off the house. But, Mrs. Daniels, I thought I had the house sold to.

[D]

And I thought my husband had a mink coat sold. But the customer just canceled it.

[A]

Brother, I've got some canceling to do myself.

[D]

Schultz's Meat Market.

[A]

Schultz's Meat Market. What number is this?

[C]

Oh, excuse me for stopping the action here.

[B]

This was a wrong number.

[C]

It has nothing to do with this story at all. But it was injected as a note of realism. Anybody can get a wrong number. But it's just never happened in radio before. Now it has. All right, on with the story.

[A]

Hello? Mr. Benson, I'm canceling that paint order.

[D]

What?

[A]

But you told me you had that house sold out there to a Ms. Daniels. I thought I had it sold to her. Just like Mrs. Daniels thought her husband had a mink coat sold to another woman, and she just called up and cancelled the coat. Oh, that reminds me. I got some canceling to do myself. Goodbye.

[C]

But, Mr. Benson, what happened?

[D]

Why is it there?

[A]

You heard me. The advertising campaign's called on.

[D]

But why?

[C]

I should get a reason. What am I going to say around the office here? Was it anything I said?

[D]

What is it, dear?

[A]

Oh, nothing like that. Oh, because you wouldn't believe me, Mr. Race. It's too fantastic.

[D]

What is, dear?

[C]

Oh, Jane, would you leave me alone? Go home.

[A]

What'd you say?

[C]

Oh, no, I was just talking to my wife here. Mr. Benson, what is this fantastic reason you mentioned?

[A]

Okay, I'll tell you. Mink coke.

[C]

What?

[A]

You see? I told you you wouldn't believe it.

[C]

Oh, yes, I will. I just didn't understand. You sounded as if you said mink Coke. I must have it on my mind. What did you say?

[A]

Mink Coke.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

Oh, you did say mink coat.

[A]

I did. Mink Coke. Mink coat. Here, I said it again.

[C]

But what about a mink coat? What's that got to do with this advertising campaign for your paint company?

[D]

What is it, dear?

[A]

Okay, you asked for it. Some lunkhead promised his wife a mink Coke, then he backed out. The woman's husband who sells mink coats.

[D]

Had his wife cancel the house she.

[A]

Was going to buy. The man who was going to sell the house called me up. Cancel the big order for paint. Now I'm canceling that advertising campaign.

[C]

Oh, wait a minute. You mean it all depends on. Isn't it but, Mr. Benson, after all, if you want an advertising campaign.

[A]

Hey, look, old man. No use picking it up with me. It all goes back to Mr. Daniels. If the Daniels Fur Shop sells that mink coat, we can talk business. Hello.

[B]

Excuse me.

[C]

I dropped the telephone. Just hold the phone a minute, please.

[A]

Make it snappy, Jane.

[D]

Honestly, dear, the way you talk on a phone, nobody can understand what's going on. Jane, can't you use words of more than one cylinder?

[E]

Look.

[D]

Cylinder, dear, what's the matter? You're as pale as a goat.

[C]

Jane, did I just hear you call a Mr. Daniels? The cancel at Minkot?

[D]

Yes, that's the first shop around the corner I was telling you about.

[C]

Oh, isn't that awful, Jane? You ruined a whole big advertising campaign for me.

[D]

Me for you.

[A]

Me for you, and me for you.

[C]

And T for two.

[D]

How did I do anything for your old advertising campaign? I don't know anything about it.

[C]

I know you don't, and still you ruined it.

[D]

How could I do that?

[B]

It's a gift, Jane.

[D]

I won't take it as a gift. This is gonna be a lesson to me.

[C]

Jane, I insist that you take that mink coat.

[D]

Ah, you're just being mean, dear. You're stubborn. You're cruel.

[C]

Jane, if you don't take that mink coat, I'm gonna.

[D]

Dear, you wouldn't hit me.

[C]

I didn't say that.

[D]

Well, strike me. Mink.

[C]

Oh, isn't it?

[D]

Oh, wait till I write Mother about this. She warned me that someday I'd have trouble with you about a mink coat.

[C]

Jane, I won't have any more arguments. You're buying that mink coat. Oh, sure.

[D]

It's no skin off your back.

[C]

Hello, Mr. Benson.

[A]

Hello. What's going on there?

[C]

It's going to be okay, Mr. Benson. That lunkhead you mentioned is going to buy his wife at Minkot.

[D]

If that isn't just like you, dear, making a mountain out of a moleskin.

[C]

Isn't that awesome?

[D]

Aren't man terrible?

[B]

In just a moment, I'll give you the title of chapter seven in the story of Mr. Ace and James. Did you know that during the past year, enlistment standards have been raised to the highest requirements in the history of the army and the Air Force? Yes, the average soldier and airman now scores 20% higher than the minimum standards for acceptance a year ago and more than twice as high as the wartime requirement. In fact, only 60% of those applying for enlistment can be accepted under these new high standards. For a young man who does measure up the army or the Air Force is a mighty good bet. And it's my bet that a visit to the nearest recruiting office. Will prove to any qualified young man. That there's an army or an Air Force career tailor made for him. Next week, Mr. Ace and Jane will bring you chapter seven, entitled. Jane's cousin, Ms. Anderson, who is Mr. Ace's secretary, gets fired. But Jane outmaneuvers Mr. Ace's boss. And tries to get her cousin's job back. Nearly causing Mr. Ace to get fired. Or as Mr.

[C]

Ace puts it, happiness is relative. The fewer relatives, the more happiness. Good night.

[D]

Me, too.

[B]

The script for Mr. A.C. jane is written by Goodman Ape. Original music conducted by Morris Certain. In the supporting cast were lon Clark as Mr. Daniels. Pegla Centra as Mr. Daniels. John McGovern as Mr. Beckley. John Griggs as Mr. Benson. And this is Ken Roberts announcing that you may hear Mr. Ace and Jane again next week at this same time. This is cbs, the Columbia Broadcasting System.