My Favorite Husband 48-09-24 (010) Knitting Baby Booties

Summary

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Podcast Summary: My Favorite Husband “Knitting Baby Booties” (Aired 48-09-24)

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Date: September 18, 2025
Primary Voices: Lucille Ball, Richard Denning, supporting cast
Setting: The Cugat household, workplace, and hospital

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Episode Overview

This episode of “My Favorite Husband” revolves around a classic comedy of miscommunication. Liz Cugat, in the spirit of thrift and friendship, decides to knit baby booties for her pregnant friend. Her husband George remains deeply distracted by finances and work, fueling a series of misunderstandings and escalating consequences, particularly when a rumor about Liz expecting a baby spirals out of control. The episode offers a delightful snapshot of mid-century domestic comedy, replete with witty banter, misunderstandings, and affectionate chaos.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting Up Domestic Bliss... With a Twist

• [00:36] The narrator introduces Liz and George as a happily married couple with no children. Light-hearted discussion about an unused bedroom and future “little ones” sets the stage for the baby theme.
• Memorable exchange about “little maids instead of one big” and a decade of marital harmony with no kids.

2. Breakfast, Budgeting, and Burnt Toast

• [02:06] The couple shares breakfast, featuring Liz’s burnt toast (which, amusingly, George enjoys only since marriage).
• [03:14] George laments falling stocks. Liz jokes about “BVD down two cents,” highlighting their financial banter.
• [04:05] Liz brings up her friend Jane’s impending baby, and the conversation amusingly devolves into George mishearing and mixing up “Russian babies.”

3. Allowance Woes and the Art of Knitting

• [05:46] The mail arrives, and George discovers a hefty department store bill from Liz.
  • Liz tries to deflect, but confesses she’s over budget again.
  • George: “Oh, Liz, what am I going to do with you?” (06:14)
  • Liz: “Raise my allowance?” (06:17)
• [07:23] Liz promises not to buy what they don’t need—except she promptly spends on yarn and a matching skirt for a gift.
• [07:32] Liz: “I’m trying to help Mr. Cougat save some money. And baby booties cost $5 a pair. But how much did all this yarn cost? $10. But that’s for five balls.”
  • Katie provides comic relief about Liz’s complicated thrift.

4. The Rumor Mill: Mistaken Baby News

• [09:04] Friend Corey visits, misinterprets Liz’s baby booties as a sign that she’s pregnant.
• [10:06] Corey (with classic comedic misunderstanding): “Congratulations!”
• [10:49] Liz: “No, he’d only worry about the budget. And besides, if George found out about this, he’d want me to take it back.”
• [11:09] Corey informs Mr. Atterbury at George’s office, who congratulates George on the supposed pregnancy and discusses his need for a raise—an escalating case of mistaken identity.

5. Office Comedy of Errors

• [11:43] Atterbury congratulates George, who believes the matter is about a failed real estate deal; both talk at hilarious cross-purposes about “expecting a bundle of joy.”
• [13:52] George explains that his wife was “a thousand miles away” (referring to the failed business deal)—Atterbury believes this refers to the baby.
• [14:18] Atterbury: “I’m going to pay the telephone bill!” (after a wildly confused discussion)

6. Marital Banter and the “Baby Booties Revelation”

• [14:25-15:42] Home from work, George and Liz play a flirtatious word game involving kisses and fruit names—culminating in a loving, lighthearted exchange:
  • Liz: “That was a dirty, mean, low down, underhanded trick. Trick me again, George.” (15:17)
• [15:53] George finds Liz’s knitting and believes she’s hiding baby news. She confesses to overspending on yarn, leading George to hilariously ask: “How many will you need?”
  • Liz: “You never can tell, George. It might be triplets.” (17:03)
  • George quips about “the fleet being in” when he told Atterbury they were expecting on “the next boat.” (17:06)

7. Classic Hospital Mix-Up

• [21:07] Liz takes Jane (her pregnant friend) to the hospital. George, believing Liz is having a baby, panics and rushes to the hospital with Corey.
• [22:32] George: “No, thanks. My wife’s doing it.” (to nurse)
• [22:46] Nurse to George: “She said to tell you that she’s decided to stay at the hospital until the baby arrives.”
• [23:04] George shops for “baby essentials”—including football helmet, bugle, and trains—preparing for a son destined for Princeton athletics.

8. Resolution: The Truth Comes Out

• [25:24] Liz returns home. George is confused about the baby.
  • Liz: “It was born an hour ago.”
  • George: “But... how’d you get out of the hospital?”
  • Liz: “I walked out. How do you think?” (25:27)
• Twist: Liz clarifies—the baby belongs to Jane, not her. More chaos when Katie announces, “it was twins!” and George is overwhelmed by the mix-ups.

9. Final Domestic Chuckles

• [26:58] Liz announces Mitzi, a neighbor’s cocker spaniel, is now expecting—prompting exasperated, loving confusion from George.
• [27:52] The episode closes with Liz repeating the earlier kissing trick, turning the theme on its head with more affectionate banter.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Finances and Marriage:

  • George: “I have to keep an eye on the bulls and the bears so that some wolf in sheep’s clothing doesn’t make me the goat. After all, I work in a bank.” (04:42)
  • Liz: “I’ll pay cash for it.” (07:28)
  • Katie: “He’ll probably laugh when he finds out that I’ve learned to knit? Yes, but he’ll stop when he finds out how much it costs.” (08:51)

• On Misunderstandings:

  • Corey: “Liz, am I seeing things? Are you knitting baby things?” (09:48)
  • Liz: “George doesn’t know about it, and don’t you tell him.” (10:37)
  • Atterbury: “Well, so young Cougat’s finally going to have an addition to the family. Wonderful, wonderful.” (11:14)
  • Atterbury: “I’m going to pay the telephone bill!” (13:52)

• On Baby Anticipation:

  • George (shopping for the baby): “My son is going to play right tackle for Princeton. I hope he’s in shape. They play their first game next week.” (23:27)
  • Corey: “Suppose it’s a girl? ... She has to learn to discipline it sometime.” (24:08)

• On the Resolution:

  • Liz: “He looks like Norman Kendall. ... Who’d you expect him to look like? You?” (25:49)
  • Katie: “Now you’re a mother too.” (26:22)
  • Liz: “Because I want to tell you about Mitzi. And I don’t want you to get me mixed up with Mitzi like you did with Jane.” (26:51)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• [00:36–02:00] — Marriage/Children Banter
• [03:14–04:10] — Breakfast, Stock Market, Mail
• [05:46–07:32] — Allowance, Knitting Booties
• [09:04–11:09] — Corey’s Visit, Baby Rumor Begins
• [11:09–14:18] — Mr. Atterbury's Office, Misunderstandings Escalate
• [14:25–15:42] — Kissing Game, Romantic Banter
• [15:53–17:15] — Baby Booties Discovery, “Triplets” Joke
• [21:07–23:27] — Hospital Mix-up, George’s Baby Preparations
• [25:24–26:36] — Resolution, Jane’s Baby, Final Twists
• [26:58–End] — Mitzi the Dog, Final Banter and Kissing Game

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Conclusion

“Knitting Baby Booties” is a masterclass in classic radio comedy, turning a simple domestic effort into a spiral of comic misunderstandings. With sharp dialogue, loving sarcasm, and pitch-perfect delivery, Liz and George’s banter makes the everyday extraordinary and timelessly funny. The episode is a celebration of pre-television radio’s wit, charm, and ability to turn household issues—finances, gifts, and relationships—into riotous farce.

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Transcript

[A]

We present My Favorite Husband, a new series based on the delightful stories of Isabel Scott Rorick's gay and sophisticated Mr. And Mrs. Cougar. Starring Lucille Ball with Richard Denning. Ten years ago, Elizabeth Elliot decided to marry an eligible bachelor. So she picked handsome man about town, George Kot, because, as Liz put it.

[B]

George was the most eligible. Eligible bachelor.

[A]

Eligible? Well, since their marriage, neither Liz nor George has said much about children. But then, children have never said much about them either. That's because they don't have any children. I mean, in fact, the only time it ever came up was when they returned from their honeymoon and George was showing Liz around their new house.

[B]

Wait a minute, George. What's this little bedroom here?

[A]

Well, I kind of thought it would look cute and pink and blue with nursery rhymes on the walls, but we can fix it up temporarily as a maid's room.

[B]

What do you mean, temporarily as a maid's room?

[A]

Well, someday we may want a couple of little ones.

[B]

You mean a couple of little maids instead of one big.

[A]

Well, that was, as I say, 10 years ago. So today, Mr. And Mrs. Cugat are still just two people who live together and like it. Lucille Ball is Liz with Richard Denning as George in My Favorite Husband. It is morning at the Pugat house. Katie the maid has gone out to the mailbox to see if the postman left any ads or blotters. And Liz is cooking breakfast and George is still upstairs dressing. Finally, Liz goes to the foot of the stairs and calls George. Yes, darling?

[B]

I've got your breakfast ready. The toast is burned just the way you like it.

[A]

Okay, I'll be right down.

[B]

I'll miss it so fast. Yes, Katie, why does Mr. Cougat like burnt toast? I don't know. He developed a taste for it after we were married.

[A]

Good morning, Liz, darling. Morning, Katie.

[B]

Morning, Mr. Cool Guy. George, aren't you going to kiss me this morning?

[A]

On an empty stomach?

[B]

Certainly. Give me a kiss.

[A]

I'm fresh out.

[B]

Oh, come on, George. You must have an old kiss lying around somewhere.

[A]

Okay. There. How's that?

[B]

That wasn't just lying around, it was dead.

[A]

That had all the zip of the old George Cugat.

[B]

Well, the old George Cugat better get a new Z. What are you laughing about, Katie? I was just thinking about my first husband, Clarence. Now there was a kisser.

[A]

Good?

[B]

No, ugly. Come on, George, Your breakfast is ready.

[A]

Oh, so am I. Where's the morning paper, Katie?

[B]

George, are you going to bury yourself in that paper again this morning?

[A]

Oh, I just want to look at the financial Page and see how the stock market is doing.

[B]

Oh, here it is, Mr. Poo, guys.

[A]

Oh, thanks, Katie. Now, let's see now. Amalgamated copper, Fisk tires AT&T is down two points. I'd better get some. TPNL is down one point. Well, I better get some. SF O&P is down three points. I better get some. What's the matter?

[B]

BVD is down two cents. You need some.

[A]

Been looking.

[B]

You been showing. Oh, here's an item about Jane Kendall. I have to get her something, George. She's expecting her baby.

[A]

Yeah, baby.

[B]

I don't want to have any of that last minute rushing.

[A]

Yeah, rushing.

[B]

You know, having a baby must be pretty tough.

[A]

Yeah, pretty tough.

[B]

George, are you listening to me?

[A]

Oh, sure, Liz. Every word.

[B]

What did I say?

[A]

Say why? Oh, you said those Russians are pretty tough babies, didn't you?

[B]

No, I didn't.

[A]

Oh, tough Russians are pretty babies.

[B]

Wrong again.

[A]

Pretty Russian babies are tough. Never mind Yugoslav babies.

[B]

Never mind. If you weren't lost in that financial page, you'd hear what I said.

[A]

But, Liz, in my business, it's important that I know it's happening in the stock market. I have to keep an eye on the bulls and the bears so that some wolf in sheep's clothing doesn't make me the goat. After all, I work in a bank.

[B]

Sounds like the Chicago stockyard. I don't see what's so wonderful about that financial page. It bores me stiff. I haven't the slightest interest in finances.

[A]

No, that's because you're not in business, darling. Say, was there any mail this morning?

[B]

Katie? Yes, ma'? Am. Was there any mail this morning? Just the morning mail. That sounds reasonable.

[A]

Is that all one letter?

[B]

That's all, Mr. Cougar. But the people next door got a lot of mail this morning. Shall I go over and borrow some? Don't bother, Katie. Open the letter. George. It's probably from someone who's on their vacation. All of our friends are out of town. Let's see now, who do we know that went to the mountains or the seashore?

[A]

It's from Barkley Brothers Department store.

[B]

Oh, it can't be.

[A]

Why not?

[B]

Well, who do we know that would spend their vacation at a department store?

[A]

Nobody. But we do know somebody who would run up a bill there last month of $250, don't we, Liz?

[B]

Liz, what's new on the financial page? George?

[A]

Liz. Oh, come on, George. Tell me about the bears and the bulls again.

[B]

George.

[A]

George, will you. George. Liz, this is serious. You went over your allowance again, didn't you?

[B]

Yes, George.

[A]

Oh, Liz, what am I going to do with you?

[B]

Raise my allowance?

[A]

I can't raise your allowance. I didn't get that mortgage deal with that real estate woman in Florida. Old man Atterbury must have found out about it because I didn't get that raise.

[B]

Well, tell him you can't raise a wife and children on your salary.

[A]

Well, but, Liz, Mr. Atterbury knows we don't have any children.

[B]

I. Well, then tell them we're expecting some on the next boat.

[A]

Boat? From where?

[B]

Wherever children come from.

[A]

Had a talk with your mother lately, Liz?

[B]

Of course.

[A]

What did she say?

[B]

She gave me a book to read.

[A]

Yeah? What was the name of it?

[B]

How to Win Friends and Influence People.

[A]

Well, that ought to do the trick. Liz, there's only one sensible thing for us to do.

[B]

I knew you'd think of something, George.

[A]

We've got to live within our means, stick to our budget.

[B]

Wonderful idea. It's not only sensible, it's impossible.

[A]

It's really very simple, Liz.

[B]

How?

[A]

Well, just don't charge things we don't need.

[B]

Sounds simple, doesn't it?

[A]

Of course, George.

[B]

From now on, I promise I won't charge a thing we don't need.

[A]

Good.

[B]

I'll pay cash for it. By Mrs. Cougar. I didn't know you could knit. Neither did I. Katie. How do you like it? Oh, it's adorable. What is it? Baby booties. They're from Mrs. Kendall. What do you think? They'll fit her. Katie, Mrs. Kendall's going to have a baby. Oh, are you going to be there? No, she's just having the family and a few close doctors. Mrs. Cougat, wouldn't it be easier for you to buy Mrs. Kendall some baby booties instead of getting all tangled up in that yarn? Yes, Katie, but I'm trying to help Mr. Cougat save some money. And baby booties cost $5 a pair. But how much did all this yarn cost? $10. But that's for five balls. But you won't need five balls of yarn to make one pair of baby booties. Well, I'm using the rest to make a sweater to match. To match the booty? No, a sweater to match the skirt I picked up for $29.95. I think it's wonderful of you to help Mr. Kugat say that way. Well, the only trouble is I had to charge all this stuff, so I think it would be better if we just didn't say anything about it. Katie. I understand, Mrs. Kuka. He'll probably laugh when he finds out that I've learned to knit? Yes, but he'll stop when he finds out how much it costs. Oh, I better hide this knitting.

[A]

Hey, anybody home?

[B]

Oh, it's only Cory. Yeah, mankind's gift to womankind. In the living room, Cory.

[A]

Hi, Liz. It's Cory Cartwright. That gay dog?

[B]

Throw him a bone, Katie.

[A]

Oh, I'm not in the mood for jokes, Liz.

[B]

I'll put your hat in the hall. What's the matter, Corey?

[A]

I met the most beautiful girl at a beautiful party in a beautiful penthouse last night.

[B]

Didn't you have fun?

[A]

Yes. The beautiful girl and I spent a beautiful evening looking at the beautiful moon.

[B]

Sounds beautiful.

[A]

Not quite. Why, she had an ugly husband.

[B]

What was his name?

[A]

I don't know. He never did catch me.

[B]

Corey, what makes you so fickle?

[A]

I'm not fickle, Liz. I just can't make up my mind.

[B]

Well, sooner or later, the right girl will come along, and then you'll settle down and she'll be knitting these.

[A]

Liz, am I seeing things? Are you knitting baby things?

[B]

Yes, baby booty.

[A]

Liz, you mean you. Why didn't you tell me?

[B]

Well, I didn't know you'd be that interested.

[A]

Interested? Of course I'm interested. Congratulations.

[B]

Thanks.

[A]

Why, I had no idea.

[B]

Neither did I. In fact, I was just telling Katie I didn't know I could do it myself.

[A]

Of course you can, Liz. I think every married woman should.

[B]

You do?

[A]

Certainly.

[B]

What's marriage got to do with it?

[A]

But good old George. He hasn't said a word about this, Liz.

[B]

Well, good old George doesn't know about it.

[A]

I'll beg George. I beg your pardon?

[B]

George doesn't know about it, and don't you tell him.

[A]

But why shouldn't he know?

[B]

No, Mr. Atterbury didn't give him his raise, and this wasn't on our budget, so I had to charge it.

[A]

They make time payments for everything these days. But really, Liz, don't you think you should tell him?

[B]

No, he'd only worry about the budget. And besides, if George found out about this, he'd want me to take it back.

[A]

Yes, Cartwright. Well, I'm glad you did call me. I had no idea Mrs. Cougat was expecting a bundle of joy. No wonder he's been wanting a raise. Oh, yeah, sure, I agree with you. I'll call him into my office right away. Thanks for calling, Codride. Goodbye. Well, so young Cougat's finally going to have an addition to the family. Wonderful, wonderful. Ms. Johnson, you come into my office.

[B]

Mr. Cougat. Mr. Atterbury wants to see you right away.

[A]

Oh, has he heard about the collapse of that Florida deal?

[B]

Not that I know of. I didn't tell him.

[A]

Okay, I'll go right in. I wonder who told the old man about my failure with that real estate woman. I'll bet that's the reason he didn't give me a raise. Well, after all, it might happen to anybody, huh? Oh, George. George, my boy, my boy. Come in, come in. Sit down. Thanks. George, I want to have a talk with you. Shall we say father to son? Well, is it about the raise I didn't get? Yes, yes, that is. George. George, I realize that you can't raise children on your salary. Of course. You don't have any children. Yeah. No, but we're expecting some on the next boat. Why? Oh, nothing. That's just something Liz told me this morning. Look, Mr. Atterbury, I know why you called me in here. Oh, you do? Yes, and I just want to say that anybody can make a mistake. A mistake? Yes, Maybe I tried too hard. Now, my boy, you know it isn't as easy as you think. Then you're not angry? Angry? Oh, on the contrary. You've got my best wishes, my boy. Thanks, Mr. Hatterbury. You know, that woman had me worried for a while. I can imagine. She just didn't like the idea. Well, women are funny sometimes, you know. Yeah, she. She wanted me to do the whole thing by myself. But I understood that you both wanted. Oh, I did. She didn't. Oh, really? And don't forget, we were a thousand miles from each other.

[B]

A thousand miles? Sure.

[A]

She was in Florida.

[B]

Good heavens.

[A]

Now wait a minute. If she was in Florida, then I. By telephone, see? The whole thing with the range over the telephone. Well, that settles it. George, my boy, I'm not only going to give you that raise, I'm going to pay the telephone bill.

[B]

Hello, George.

[A]

Hi, Liz. Darling, you're looking at a new man. The brand new 1948 model, George Cugat.

[B]

How much did you get for the old one?

[A]

Plenty. How about a kiss?

[B]

Aren't you afraid you'll dent your fenders?

[A]

Come on, darling. How about a kiss for your hard working husband?

[B]

Nope. Not in the mood.

[A]

Since when?

[B]

This morning.

[A]

I'll bet I can make you kiss me.

[B]

I'll bet you can.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Well, don't let me convince you.

[A]

All right. Well, first I'll put my arms around you like this. Now you put your arms around me like that. Now tilt your chin up.

[B]

There.

[A]

Now. Now, when I say a word, you say the Name of the first fruit you think of. Ready?

[B]

Okay, but I won't kiss you.

[A]

Candy.

[B]

Orange.

[A]

Baked apple. Stewed.

[B]

Pruned.

[A]

I win. You kiss me.

[B]

But you tricked me. That was a dirty, mean, low down, underhanded trick. Trick me again, George.

[A]

You might get to like it.

[B]

George Cugat, there's only one word for a man like you.

[A]

What is it?

[B]

Prune.

[A]

Okay, scatterbrain. There.

[B]

Prune is a beautiful word, George.

[A]

A wonderful word. Prune.

[B]

I love you.

[A]

I love you, too. Liz, guess what happened at the office today.

[B]

I don't know. Sit down. Tell me all about it.

[A]

Well, old man Atterbury called me in and. Hey, Liz, what's this?

[B]

What's what?

[A]

Well, it's knitted stuff behind the chair.

[B]

Knitted stuff, George?

[A]

Yeah, looks like. Like baby shoes.

[B]

Oh, that. Probably dust balls.

[A]

Liz. Knitted dust balls.

[B]

Oh, you may not know it, Georgia. We had the best looking dust balls in town.

[A]

Oh, wait a minute. There's a whole lot of yarn down in here, too. Look. What? What is it, Liz?

[B]

All right, Sherlock, you win. They're baby booties.

[A]

Baby booties?

[B]

Liz, you mean you didn't think I could do it, did you?

[A]

Well, sure, but. But, Liz, darling, this is wonderful.

[B]

I thought it was pretty good myself.

[A]

Well, gosh, honey, why didn't you tell me?

[B]

I was afraid you'd be sore. I charged all that yarn to our account. And I went over our budget again.

[A]

Aw. All this yarn to make one pair of baby booties. What are you going to do with the rest of it?

[B]

Why?

[A]

Well, what, Liz?

[B]

Well, make more baby booty.

[A]

More?

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Good night. How many will you need?

[B]

Well, you never can tell, George. It might be triplets.

[A]

Triplets? Holy cats. I told old man Atterbury we were expecting some on the next boat. I didn't know the fleet was in.

[B]

Katie. Katie, come quick. Mr. Cougat faded. What happened, Mrs. Cougar? I don't know. He said something about the flu leaked in, then he sank. George, can you hear me? George, this is Liz. This is Liz.

[A]

Glad to know you, Liz. I'm George.

[B]

Oh, I think he's coming, too. Mrs. Cougar. Yeah. Come on, George.

[A]

Oh, where am I?

[B]

You're in bed.

[A]

Oh. Good night, Liz.

[B]

Come on, George, Sit up. Up, Daisy. That's it.

[A]

What happened?

[B]

You fainted, Magnolia blossom.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Oh, but. But, Liz, you. You're the one that should be in bed, not me.

[B]

Now, just stay where you are, George. You're as pale as a ghost.

[A]

How did I get up here?

[B]

Teddy and I carried you. She carried Mr. Cougat. I dragged you put on a little weight since the last time we carried you upstairs.

[A]

Oh, Liz, you. You shouldn't be lifting anything heavy now, especially upstairs.

[B]

Well, Katie helped.

[A]

Who brought me in here?

[B]

Katie and I.

[A]

Who put me to bed?

[B]

Katie and I. Liz, what's the matter?

[A]

Who put on my pajamas?

[B]

That got the color back to his cheeks? Mrs. Cooper. Petey went downstairs, George and I brought back this here, Mr. Krugat. Take a sip of this brandy. It'll make you feel better. Are you sure that's brandy, Katie? Yes, ma'. Am. Remember the last time I fainted? You got hold of Mr. Kugat's bottle of Vitalis.

[A]

My Vitalis.

[B]

It went down all right, but I had to give my stomach a 60 second workout. Oh, don't worry, ma'. Am. This is brandy. All right. You're sure? Yes, ma'. Am. Positive.

[A]

Oh, darn it, Corey. I haven't been able to do any work all day. Look at the stuff piled up on my desk. So Liz finally told you about the baby, huh, George? Well, not exactly, but when I found those baby booties, she could hardly deny it. But. But she doesn't seem too interested. That's the way women are, George. You have to be very understanding at a time like this. Why don't you try to draw it out of her? You hint around, maybe she'll confess. I tried that already, but she acted like she didn't even know what I was talking about. Why? What did you say to her? Oh, I told her I understood that women who were expecting a baby get peculiar desires for food. So Liz said, what kind of food? And I said kiddingly, oh, like ice cream and melted cheese poured over and a dill pickle on the top. What did Liz say? Well, she just said, what's peculiar about that? Sounds like something lizards say. I think I'll call her and see how she feels. Go ahead. You've only called her about 30 times today. Hello, Katie. How's Mrs. Cougar feeling? Katie. What? The hospital. What's the matter, George? Oh, Liz has gone to the hospital already. Hello, Katie. Which hospital did she go to? Yeah, yeah, to phone her there. Well, I'll do better than that. I'll go over there. Goodbye, Katie. Now, keep calm, George. Getting excited won't help any. Yeah, keep calm. You're right, Corey. Don't get excited. Where's my hospital? I mean, where's my hat? Oh, wait a minute, George. Keep calm. I'll go with you. Now, don't get excited. Okay, okay. I'm calm. I'm calm. Let's go. All right. But you can't go that way. What way? With a telephone on your head. Oh.

[B]

Thanks a million for coming to the hospital with me, Liz. It was wonderful of you. Well, you're welcome, Jane, honey. I'm only glad I could do something to help you have. Norman was so worried. He's read so many stories in the paper about taxi drivers having to stop on the way to the hospital because the baby arrived ahead of time. I wonder if they leave the meter running when that happens. You make me feel good, Liz, when I probably should be feeling horrible. Do I, honey? I am. I guess you're always a little anxious with the first one. Well, you haven't anything to worry about, Jane. You'll be all right. And when it's all over, you'll realize that this has been a very wonderful experience for you. Something you wouldn't take a million dollars for. You think you could stay with me, Liz? I mean, until the baby arrives? Of course, honey. I wouldn't think of leaving. Thanks. Norman should be here pretty soon. What do you want, Jane, a boy or a girl? I'd sort of like a little girl. How about Norman? Oh, he says he just wants a boy or a girl. Well, I hope he isn't disappoint.

[A]

George, are you sure this is the right hospital? I don't know. Wait here, Corey. I'll ask that nurse at the desk. I beg your pardon, Nurse.

[B]

Yes?

[A]

Do you have babies here? Yes, this is the place, Corey. Okay.

[B]

Is there something I can do for you?

[A]

No, thanks. My wife's doing it.

[B]

Your wife?

[A]

Mrs. Cugat. I'm Mr. Cougat. We have the same name.

[B]

That's understandable.

[A]

Is she here?

[B]

Yes, she is, Mr. Cougar. But you can't see her now. She left a message for you.

[A]

What is it?

[B]

She said to tell you that she's decided to stay at the hospital until the baby arrives.

[A]

Oh. Will you give her a message for me?

[B]

Certainly.

[A]

Just tell her I think that she's made a wise decision. George, don't you think you should go home and wait until you hear from Liz like the nurse told you? Of course, Cory, but I have to get this stuff before I go home. Isn't it a little premature? Of course not. I want to be ready. But look at all the stuff you bought already. Electric trains, baseball bat, drum and bugle, football helmet, boxing gloves. Maybe I should get him a football, too. George, you realize that a newborn infant can't even stand up, much less Play football? Why don't you get it? A rattle. A rattle? Oh, rattles are for kids. My son is going to play right tackle for Princeton. I hope he's in shape. They play their first game next week. Now, Cory, let's not be silly about this kid. No, let's not be that. Obviously he can't play right tackle with Princeton next week. Oh, obviously. He doesn't know the signals, George. Now, suppose it isn't a boy. Suppose it's a girl. Girl? Oh, no, it can't be a girl. Liz wouldn't do that to me. Liz hasn't got anything to say about it. What do you mean, Liz hasn't got anything to say about it? She's its mother. Yeah, but how can Liz make the child be a boy or a girl? Well, she has to learn to discipline it sometime.

[B]

Hello, Katie. Oh, Mrs. Cougar. Did Mrs. Kenzel have her baby? Yes, she did. Is Mr. Coogatt home? Yes, ma'. Am. He and Mr. Cartwright are in the study and acting mighty strange if you ask me. Oh, really? I'll go in. Will you be ready soon? Yes, ma', am, in about a half hour. George. Oh, George. What in the name of. George.

[A]

Look out, Corey. Here comes the East Bond Express. Hey, Liz, darling. Hi, Liz. Liz, what are you doing home so soon?

[B]

What do you mean soon? It's after seven.

[A]

Yeah, but. But what about the baby?

[B]

It was born an hour ago.

[A]

An hour ago?

[B]

Sure.

[A]

But. But, but how'd you get out of the hospital?

[B]

I walked out. How do you think?

[A]

But didn't the doctor say anything to you?

[B]

Yes, he said goodbye.

[A]

Well, I knew medical science had made progress, but I didn't know it was anything like this. What about the baby, Liz? What is it?

[B]

It's a boy.

[A]

A boy? Oh, what did I tell you, Cory. Oh, Liz, who does he look like?

[B]

He looks like Norman Kendall. Listen, I know you. Who? Norman Kendall. Who'd you expect him to look like? You?

[A]

Well, as a matter of fact, I did. Well, after all, I am his father.

[B]

What? Now, listen. Excuse me, Mrs. Cubat. The hospital just phoned to tell you that it was twins.

[A]

Twins? Oh, give me time. I just became the father of a boy.

[B]

This one's a girl. Congratulations, George. Now you're a mother too.

[A]

Ah, Liz, darling, why didn't you tell me Jane and Norman Kendall were expecting a baby?

[B]

I told you the other morning at breakfast that you were too busy reading the financial page.

[A]

Oh, that reminds me. Where's the evening paper?

[B]

I'm sitting on it.

[A]

Sitting on? Why?

[B]

Because I want to tell you about Mitzi. And I don't want you to get me mixed up with Mitzi like you did with Jane.

[A]

All right. What is it?

[B]

Mrs. Jordan says Mitzi is expecting.

[A]

Who's Mitzi?

[B]

Her cocker spaniel. George, are you asleep?

[A]

Not yet.

[B]

Can I sit on the side of your bed?

[A]

Sure.

[B]

There. Isn't this cozy? George, your bed's higher than mine.

[A]

Maybe it's because you're sitting on my stomach.

[B]

Oh, I'm sorry, darling. Is that better?

[A]

Much.

[B]

George?

[A]

Yes, Liz?

[B]

I'll bet I can make you kiss me.

[A]

I'll bet you can't.

[B]

All right. First I put my arms around you.

[A]

But I won't bite on this. I taught it to you.

[B]

Now tilt your chin up like this. Now. Ready?

[A]

Yeah, I'm ready. But I won't bite.

[B]

Candied orange. Baked apple. Stewed. Stewed? Oh, darn. What is that other word?

[A]

Oh, you mean prune. Liz, you tricked me.

[B]

Good night, George.

[A]

My favorite husband has been presented through the worldwide facilities of the United States Armed Forces Radio and Television Service.

[B]

RAM.