
My Little Margie xx-xx-xx Little Moose
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A
The United States Armed Forces Radio Service presents My Little Margie starring Gail Storm and Charles Farrell. It's morning in the Albright apartment and as Margie serves breakfast, her father looks over the morning mail. After going through the usual batch of bills and circulars, he opens the letter, reads it, turns to Margie and says, well, I'll be a monkey's uncle.
B
A monkey's uncle. Dad, do I have a cousin you've never told me about?
A
I'm talking about this letter. Now, who do you think it's from?
B
Who?
A
Guess.
B
Zsa Ja.
A
Oh, stop. You could guess if you tried. Now, who could send me a letter that would make me feel young again, that would stimulate me, that would quicken my pulse?
B
You're draft board.
A
Well, I guess I'll have to tell you. It's my old college chum, Mike Magruder. Otherwise known as Big Moose. Oh, good old Big Moose. Best friend a guy ever had.
B
Yes, you've told me something about him. How he used to wear your clothes, use your car, steal your girl.
A
Oh, what a friend we used to share and share alike. Anything I had was his and anything he had was mine.
B
What did he have?
A
Nothing.
B
How good old Big Moose sounds like he should have been called Big Mooch.
A
He was a confirmed woman hater.
B
A woman hater?
A
Yeah, he'd hate to be away from them.
B
Sounded like he was part moose and part wolves. I'll bet you were the same way in college, huh, dad?
A
Oh, well, not exactly. I was sort of bashful in those days. There were over 600 girls on our campus and. And I never kissed one of them.
B
Which one?
A
I mean, that Margie. I. I'll never forget. There was one girl I was crazy about. I finally got up enough courage to ask her to be my girl. I said to her, birdie.
B
Was that her name? Birdie?
A
No, no. But that's what I used to call her. Why? She was pigeon toed. Anyway, I said, birdie, I want you to be my girl. I know I'm not as handsome as Big Moose. I'm not as good a dancer as Big Moose, and. And I'm not as popular as Big Moose.
B
What happened?
A
Well, she asked me to introduce her to Big Moose. What a guy. Boy, I'd like to see the Moose again and relive some of those good old football days. I'll never forget the play we used against State. It was double reverse with a Statue of Liberty handoff. Big Moose carried the ball and my job was to block out the opposing fullback. Now get that chair out of the way and I'll show you how it went.
B
Okay, dad, go ahead.
A
72, 54, 48, hike. Now I go through the line and smack the opposing fullback like this. Hello.
B
Don't just sit there, Margie. Help me pick him up.
A
Oh.
B
Oh.
A
What hit me?
B
Fallback. Odess, what is going on? Well, dad was living in the past for a moment. He got a letter from his old college chum. Oh, you mean the letter from Big Moose.
A
Mrs. Odette, how do you know about the letter?
B
Well, every morning when the doorman delivers the mail in this building, he usually stops by my apartment first with my mail. So in appreciation, I usually brew him some coffee. I see. Sometimes I even fix him a big breakfast, too. But that all depends. Depends on what? On how many other people's letters he has that I want to steam open.
A
Hey, Margie, while you were talking, I read the second part of Big Moose's letter. What do you think it says?
B
His son is coming to New York.
A
Okay, Mrs. Odettes, you might as well tell her the rest.
B
Well, his son's name is Mike Magruder Jr. And he's coming in for a visit.
A
He'll be here tomorrow. Thank you.
B
You're welcome.
A
I've never met Big Moose's son.
B
I guess they call him Little Moose.
A
Yeah, I guess he's just about your age, Margie, and. Oh, say, this is great.
B
What's great?
A
My daughter and Big Moose's son. Oh, what an ideal match.
B
Now, now, wait a minute, dad. I'm perfectly capable of picking my own boyfriend.
A
Well, if you pick Freddie Wilson, you're not capable. Now, Margie, I want you to cancel all your dates for the rest of the week and devote all your time to Big Moose's son when he gets here. But, Dad, I have. Who knows what this might lead to. Now, just think, someday my daughter may be married to Little Moose.
B
Me, Mary, Little Moose, and may all your children be else. Hello, Margie. Where's your father? He went out for a while. Mrs. Odettes, what am I going to do about this situation? Well, from what your father said, Big Moose was a husky, handsome man. And if Little Moose is a chip off the old block, you've got nothing to squawk about. Well, that's not the point. I don't like the idea of dad running my life for me. I'm over 21. I can pick my own boyfriend. Oh, what am I going to do? Oh, no, Margie, I wouldn't cry like that. You cry any way you like. This is my way oh, knock it off. Knock it off. But, Mrs. Ovette, suppose dad insists that I marry Little Moo? Well, what's wrong with that? Marriage is a great institution. Well, I'm not ready for an institution. Oh, Margie, marriage isn't so bad. Take it from an old hand. Why, I've walked down that aisle so many times. I know the way. Blindfold. You've had your quota of husbands all right, haven't you? I've had more than my quota. But the idea is to find the right man. Now, you take my horse. Husband. From the first day we were married, he stayed home every night. That's what I call devotion. The doctor called it gout. Come in.
A
Hi, Margie. Hi, Miss Odette. Hi, Freddie.
B
Hello, Freddy.
A
Say, what's wrong with you? You don't look happy.
B
I'm not. Dad's closest pal in college was a fellow named Big Moose. Big Moose has a son named Little Moose, and he's coming to town. And dad wants me to spend all my time with him.
A
Well, how long is he gonna stay?
B
Maybe forever. Dad has visions of Little Moose marrying me.
A
Marrying you? What about me?
B
I think he'd rather marry me.
A
Margie, quit kidding. You know what I mean.
B
I know, but what can I do about it? I wish I could figure out a way to stop dad from interfering in my life, picking my boyfriend.
A
I know you can stop him.
B
How?
A
Elope with me. That's the best thing.
B
What's the next best thing?
A
Well, I don't think it's right for him to run your life. Margie, if he was my father, I'd say to him. You'd say what? Hi, Pop. Now, Freddie, this is none of your affair, and I don't want you to butt into it. Well, you've got no right to run Margie's life.
B
Telling Freddy.
A
Yeah, tell me. Now, listen, Margie. Little Moose must be a human dynamo like his father. And that's the kind of a boyfriend I want you to have. Well, I'm a human dynamo too. You a dynamo? Sure.
B
Everything he has on is charged.
A
Mr. Albright. Why don't you approve of me? Tell me why.
B
Oh, that'd take all day.
A
I want Margie to have a man for a boyfriend. Well, I'm a man. I've got a lot of good points. Name them. Well, I'm clean cut. I'll concede that. I've got character. I'll concede that too. I'm honest. I'll also concede that I've got brains.
B
Freddie, you should have quit when you were ahead.
A
All right, Freddy. I've heard enough from you. Now. Squeeze, Ram. Bye, now. Margie, baby, believe me. I'm only doing this because I've got your best interest at heart. And someday you'll thank me.
B
I thank you.
A
You're welcome. Now, whatever you saw in that Freddy Wilson is beyond me. He'll never amount to anything. He. He has no goal in life.
B
His goal is to marry me someday. But now it looks like you've kicked. Oh, hello, Mrs. Odess. Well, Margie, today is the day. Yep. Today is the day that Little Moose comes into my life. And today is the day I start teaching my father a lesson. Do you think your plan will work? It's got to. You haven't told anyone, have you? Why, Margie, you know me. Yeah, that's why I asked. I haven't told a story.
A
Hello, Margie. Oh, I. I see they've delivered the groceries.
B
Yes, Dad. I wanted.
A
Margie, I'm not going to argue this whole thing all over again. After all, a father knows what's best for his daughter.
B
Okay, dad. Whatever you say.
A
And furthermore, when I say goes, and I demand. Margie, do you feel all right?
B
Of course, dad. I've. I've gotten a message. I'll do whatever you say.
A
Oh, that's swell, baby. Gee, he'll be here any minute now. Ma, did you put on your cheerleader sweater? You know, the one you wore in college.
B
But why?
A
Well, you've got to greet him properly.
B
Can't I just greet him with a simple hello instead of a somersault? Three tigers and a locomotive.
A
Oh, all right. Oh, that must be him. Come in. I beg your pardon. This is the domicile of Vernon Albright, I presume. You presume right. And you are? Vernon Albright, I also presume. Stop presuming. You get to the point. Who are you? I am Michael Magruder Jr. What? You mean to say that a skinny, scrawny looking goof like you is Big Moose's son? Please, I'd prefer that you refer to Pater as senior. Why, you pipsqueak. Please, you're fogging my bifocals.
B
Well, well, well. So this is Little Moose.
A
Little Moose?
B
He looks more like Little Mouse.
A
What's the matter, Mr. Albright? What do you mean? Your face has the look of a man who has just bitten into a sour apple.
B
Oh, nonsense. He'd never think of biting you.
A
I might even go so far as to say you look a little puzzled. What am I? A strange creature from another planet? Oh, of Course, you're not from another.
B
Planet, but you sure are a strange creature.
A
What was that?
B
Oh, I said I'm going to the movies. There's a double feature if I heard.
A
You the first time. Madam, let me assure you that I'm quite normal. As a matter of fact, I'm rather average. No different from any other brilliant genius.
B
Michael, did you go to the same college? Dad and your father went to college.
A
Oh, you poor, sweet child. Of course not. What could college possibly teach me that I haven't already learned by myself? Well, I've read Homer's Iliad in the original Greek, Virgil in the original Latin, and Victor Hugo in the original French. Did you ever read Little Abner in the original English? Are you referring to a comic strip? Oh, how vulgar. People who read them are abominably stupid. Really? Well, just shake my hand and call me knucklehead. Tell me, Michael, what are your interests in life? Well, I find archaeology absorbing. Last year in Cairo, I unearthed old Egyptian prisons and found petrified remains of the prisoners. Oh, I see. That's where they get the expression hardened criminals. Let's go back to little Abner. Mr. Albright, I understand you're in the investment business. That's right. I. I am. Confidentially, do you feel that the fiduciary obligations of Luxembourg and Argentina, clandestinely organized in international cartels, can seriously undermine the position of the pound sterling on the Paris bulls? Well, you see, I mean, that is, of course, disregarding the French, Frank. Oh, well, if you disregard that, naturally.
B
What?
A
Mrs. Odette, sir, what's the name of that double feature?
B
Lost in a Fog, starring Vern Albright. And I'll be glad when you're dead, you rascal, you.
A
Speaking of entertainment, would you care to accompany me on a night of merriment and revelry, Margie?
B
Oh, I'd be glad to, Michael. Let me show you to your room, and I'll put a fresh face on, and we can leave in about half an hour.
A
Big Moose Magruder's son. I. I just can't believe it.
B
Oh, poor Big Moose, having a son like that.
A
Oh, it's probably that girl he married, Priscilla Higginbottom. Oh, what a bookworm she was.
B
I don't envy you putting up with that boy for a week.
A
Oh, I don't know. It could have been worse. What do you mean? Well, you know how Big Moose was always borrowing things from me.
B
Yes.
A
Well, I used to go with Priscilla myself. Yellow. Oh. Oh, hello, Jerry. No, no, I haven't seen the guy Yet. But he's Big Moose Magruder's son. Gee whizz, he's got to be 7ft tall. Well, I decided that I'm gonna show Margie I have muscles, too. Oh, yes. I don't get funny. Listen, Jerry, you got an old pair of football shoulder pads I could wear under my jacket? An old mattress. Oh, boy.
B
That's even better.
A
There's nothing like a little stuffing. Yeah. Thanks, Jerry.
B
You're a pal. So long.
A
Come in. Well, Mr. Albright. Hello, Freddy. How have you. Wow, Freddy, what's happened to you? What do you mean? Oh, you look swollen.
B
Yeah.
A
The body. Beautiful. I'm taking a muscle building course. Oh, let me feel. I've only been taking the course one day, but already you can see the improvement. Yeah, yeah. Who. Who gives the course? Professor K. Park. K, Pop? From the mattress stuffing of the same name? Now, look, Brady, if you're doing this to impress Margie, you can stop. You're a better man than little Mouse right now. Little mouse? Big mouses, Big Moose's offspring. And the trouble is, he didn't spring far enough. You mean the guy at the square? A real eight ball boy.
B
Hi, Freddy.
A
Hello, Margie.
B
Betty, what's happened to you? Are you sick?
A
Sick?
B
Dad, is it possible to get mumps in the shoulders?
A
Margie, they're supposed to be muscles.
B
Muscles? How vulgar.
A
What do you mean, vulgar? My muscles are as refined as anybody's.
B
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you, Freddie, but I never could stand the barbaric type.
A
Freddy. Barbaric? Little Freddy?
B
We're compared to Michael, of course. Michael is so wonderful. He's so smooth, so polished.
A
What is he, a man or a floor wax? You really like the guy? Oh, yes.
B
Well, he's so intelligent, so sophisticated. He's creating a new hairdo especially for me. And he's designing a new gown to bring out my personality.
A
This guy has too much talent for one person. There should be two of them. Yeah, and I love the job of splitting him up. Oh. Oh, hello, Freddy. Good evening, Mr. Albright.
B
Dad, Michael and I are going out this evening.
A
Darn it, Margie, what do you see in that guy anyway?
B
Well, Michael says we are two kindred spirits. He says his psyche is in tune with mine.
A
Well, he better be careful or I'll pull down his aerial.
B
Good evening, all.
A
Ah, there you are, Margie. Ready to go?
B
Quite, dad. We're going to a recital featuring Antrim Palaverchio. He's going to sing Rossini's Una Voce. Poco fa.
A
Gee whiz, Marky, I don't get it. You never went in for bebop before. I beg your pardon, young man, I don't think we've met.
B
Oh, that's right. Freddy Wilson, Michael Magruder.
A
How do you do, Freddy?
B
You could say, pleased to meet you.
A
Yeah, I could, but I have to live with myself. I wish I could show you how to make that painless. Mr. Albright, are you using your car tonight? Well, I was going out to see a client. Well, don't you think you ought to walk? I mean, a man of your age who was so athletic in his youth. Insurance mortality tables show that. All right, all right. Take the car. I'll walk. Oh, you're very kind. By the way, could you tide me over with $50? $50? Oh, you're right. Oh, that does seem like a paltry sum to your daughter. Yeah, make it a hundred. A hundred dollars? Now, listen, young man. Incidentally, I'm writing home tomorrow. Is there anything you'd want me to tell my father what a great guy you are, or. Here's a hundred.
B
You sure stuff your oar in at the right time.
A
Thank you.
B
Come along now, Michael. Good night, dad. Freddy.
A
Mr. Albright, I just want to ask you one thing. What's that, Freddy? Did his parents ever have any children, mister?
B
All right. Excuse me for being inquisitive, but you look rather jumpy and nervous for the past few days. Is it on account of Michael?
A
Mrs. Odette, if you don't mind, please don't mention that name. Every time I hear it, it's like a charge of electricity shooting into my head.
B
Okay? Suits me. Dad, has Michael come in yet? You're all right. What's happened?
A
I just blew a fuse. Margie, he isn't here.
B
Oh, so it is Michael who's been disturbing you.
A
Yes, and he's been here almost a week. And already I'm a candidate for the booby hatch.
B
Well, personally, I feel sor for the boy when I look at him, I'm a little touched.
A
You're a little touched? He's already touched me for 300 bucks. Oh, that's the only thing he's inherited from his father. From big moose to big mooch.
B
Now, calm down, Mr. Albright.
A
How can I? I don't care so much myself. But. But I'm worried about the effect he's having on Margie. He's even got her writing poetry.
B
What's wrong with writing poetry on the.
A
Head of a pin? Mrs. Odess, would you please talk to Margie and try to get her to give up this jerky genius.
B
Nothing doing, papa. You started it, now let it finish you. Dad, did you want to see me?
A
Yes, baby, I want to talk to you about Big Mooch.
B
Dad, if you're referring to Michael, I find your attitude very unreasonable. I like him very much, but, baby.
A
He'S too smart for you. What? Do you realize he's willed his brain to the Smithsonian Institute? And they ought to take it away from him before he's ready to give it up.
B
Dad, I've made up my mind. Michael and I are getting to the serious stage. Mr. Albright, are you trying to persuade your daughter to give up Michael? Why, he's such a sterling character.
A
He isn't sterling at all. He's solid brass.
B
Dad, regardless of what you may say about Michael, it will not change my feelings for him.
A
Ah, there you are, Margie. Are you ready for our stroll through the art museum now, you half baked quiz kid? I want to leave my house immediately and never come back, you hear? Or I'll punch you right in the nose.
B
Well, who said he wasn't an athlete? Looks like he's captain of the track team. Dad, how could you do such a thing? And to the son of your lifelong friend.
A
I don't care. I'd rather risk losing a friend than my daughter. Margie, I forbid you ever to see that mental monster again. And that's an order.
B
There you go, interfering with my life again.
A
Oh, oh, baby, I. I don't mean to. I'm only doing what I believe is best for you. And I promise, if you forget all about this Michael character, I'll never interfere with you again.
B
Dad, would you repeat that, please?
A
Well, yeah, yeah, of course I'll never interfere with you again.
B
Mrs. Odette, you're a witness. You heard him. Naturally. I hear everything.
A
What do you mean she's a witness?
B
Dad, read this telegram. It came a few days ago.
A
Well, let's see. Why. Why, it's from Big Moose. It says his son isn't coming here at all. He. He eloped with his girlfriend and went to Hawaii for a honeymoon.
B
That's right.
A
Well, then who in the Sam Hill was the character who ran out of here?
B
My nephew. He's an associate professor at Columbia University. Yes, and he very obligingly consented to help me out when I decided to teach you a lesson in minding your own business.
A
I knew who he was all along. Did you think you could fool me? What do you think I am, stupid? Margie. Margie, I ask you a question, Margie. How dare you speak to me like that. Yes, sir.
B
I miss little Margie.
A
My little Margie is the presentation of the United States Armed Forces Radio Service.
Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Host: Harolds Old Time Radio
Episode Air Date: November 5, 2025
In this classic episode of My Little Margie, listeners are transported back to a time of wholesome, family-centered radio comedy. The plot centers around Margie Albright and her father, Vern, as they navigate an unexpected visit from "Little Moose"—the son of Vern's old college friend, Big Moose Magruder. The episode humorously explores themes of parental interference, old friendships, mismatched matchmaking, and clever ruses, all adorned with quick-witted banter and slapstick moments emblematic of the golden age of radio.
Margie Teasing Vern
Mrs. Odettes on Marriage
Michael's Entry
Freddy and Vern's Comedy
Margie’s Big Reveal
The episode is characterized by rapid-fire, playful dialogue, gentle satire, and family hijinks. Margie’s sarcasm and wit, Vern’s bluster, and Mrs. Odettes’s sage (if sardonic) advice create a comic dynamic representative of mid-century American radio humor.
This episode is an exemplary slice of Golden Age radio: warm, fast-paced, and family-friendly, filled with lessons about meddling and independence—all delivered with laughs, clever writing, and a rich sense of period charm.