My Little Margie xx-xx-xx (xx) Freddie's Uncle

Summary

Podcast Summary: "My Little Margie xx-xx-xx (xx) Freddie's Uncle"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Host/Author: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Episode: My Little Margie xx-xx-xx (xx) Freddie's Uncle
• Release Date: August 15, 2025
• Description: Reliving the Golden Age of Radio, this episode brings to life the beloved radio shows where families gathered to enjoy timeless classics like The Shadow, Abbott & Costello, Amos & Andy, and Dragnet.

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Introduction

The episode kicks off with a lively advertisement promoting AM PM's convenient and craveable snacks, setting a nostalgic tone reminiscent of mid-20th-century radio shows. The skit swiftly transitions into the main narrative, introducing the central characters and establishing the primary conflict.

Characters Introduced

• Charles Albright: Vice President of Honeywell and Todd, a high-powered executive frequently preoccupied with his professional responsibilities.
• Margie Albright: Charles's daughter, portrayed as understanding and supportive.
• Freddy Wilson: Margie's brother, characterized as unemployed and somewhat inept but well-meaning.
• Mrs. Odette: The family housekeeper, sharp-witted and observant.
• Mr. Honeywell: A high-ranking official from the investment firm, involved in business dealings.

Plot Overview

Packing for Chicago

The episode begins with Charles Albright preparing for a business trip to Chicago. His meticulous packing list highlights his dedication and busy lifestyle:

Charles Albright ([00:51]): "Various corporations that his firm is interested in."

Margie questions his preparedness, noting he forgot his razor, to which Charles dismisses the oversight, believing his trip will only be brief.

Father-Daughter Dynamics

Margie expresses concern over Freddy's unemployment, leading to a discussion about his worthlessness in Charles's eyes versus Margie's belief in his potential:

Margie Albright ([02:21]): "But give him a chance, dad. He'll amount to something someday."

Charles remains unimpressed, comparing Freddy unfavorably to others and doubting his capability to hold a job:

Charles Albright ([02:31]): "Look at young Henry. When he was Freddie's age, he ran a Ford into a billion dollars. What's Freddy ever done?"

Intervention by Mrs. Odette

Mrs. Odette overhears the conversation and challenges Charles's negative portrayal of Freddy, advocating that money isn't the sole measure of success:

Mrs. Odette ([03:48]): "No, but your window is. Another thing, Mr. Albright, I think it's dreadful the way you talk about Freddy Wilson."

Freddy's Request

As Charles finalizes his departure, Freddy approaches him with a request for a job, hoping to impress his wealthy uncle, Maurice Morton:

Freddy Wilson ([05:12]): "Well, I'd like to ask you if you'd give me a job in your firm where I could have a private office and a big desk and a secretary, preferably blonde."

Charles dismissively rejects Freddy's request, doubting his ability to handle the responsibilities:

Charles Albright ([05:25]): "Freddie, I'd have to be out of my mind to give you a job."

Margie's Scheme

Determined to help Freddy, Margie devises a plan to create a favorable impression on Uncle Maurice by presenting Freddy as successful. She persuades Freddy to adopt Charles's attire and persona, completing the ruse with Mrs. Odette acting as their domestic staff.

Margie Albright ([07:19]): "You can wear Dad's things. And I've got another idea. I'll pretend that I'm your maid of Prethy."

Encounter with Uncle Maurice

The scheme seems to work as Uncle Maurice arrives, impressed by the façade of successful servants. However, tensions rise when Charles inadvertently reveals his true identity after a physical altercation, leading to a confrontation.

Charles Albright ([13:19]): "I miss my plane. I got into a beef with some uncouth lout at the airport."

Revelation and Resolution

Mr. Honeywell discovers the deception but ultimately values Freddy's likable nature over the façade of success. Charles faces the consequences of his actions, realizing that his rigid perception hindered Freddy's potential.

Mr. Honeywell ([26:05]): "I could never be angry with Freddy. He's always been my favorite nephew. In spite of his many faults, he's a likable kid."

Margie and the household reconcile, acknowledging the importance of understanding and supporting each other beyond superficial measures of success.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Charles Albright ([00:54]): "Well, I'm a pretty remarkable fellow."
• Margie Albright ([02:21]): "But give him a chance, dad. He'll amount to something someday."
• Mrs. Odette ([03:48]): "No, but your window is. Another thing, Mr. Albright, I think it's dreadful the way you talk about Freddy Wilson."
• Freddy Wilson ([05:12]): "Well, I'd like to ask you if you'd give me a job in your firm where I could have a private office and a big desk and a secretary, preferably blonde."
• Margie Albright ([07:19]): "You can wear Dad's things. And I've got another idea. I'll pretend that I'm your maid of Prethy."
• Charles Albright ([13:19]): "I miss my plane. I got into a beef with some uncouth lout at the airport."
• Mr. Honeywell ([26:05]): "I could never be angry with Freddy. He's always been my favorite nephew. In spite of his many faults, he's a likable kid."

Themes and Insights

• Family Dynamics: The contrasting perspectives between Charles and Margie highlight differing views on success and personal worth.
• Deception and Facade: The scheme to present Freddy as successful underscores the lengths family members might go to protect and support each other.
• Personal Growth: Charles's eventual realization that his rigid views hinder his family's potential suggests a message about the importance of support over superficial success.
• Humor and Conflict: The episode balances humor with conflict, especially through Charles's interactions and Freddy's bumbling attempts to impress.

Conclusion

"My Little Margie xx-xx-xx (xx) Freddie's Uncle" masterfully weaves humor with heartfelt family moments, capturing the essence of the Golden Age of Radio. Through engaging dialogues and relatable characters, the episode delivers timeless lessons on understanding, support, and the true meaning of success.

Transcript

[Narrator]

What do you think makes the perfect snack?

[Snack Enthusiast]

Hmm. It's gotta be when I'm really craving it and it's convenient.

[Narrator]

Could you be more specific?

[Snack Enthusiast]

When it's cravinient.

[Charles Albright]

Okay.

[Snack Enthusiast]

Like a freshly baked cookie made with real butter, available right down the street at a.m. p.m. Or a savory breakfast sandwich I can grab in just a second at a.m. p.m.

[Narrator]

I'm seeing a pattern here.

[Snack Enthusiast]

Well, yeah, we're talking about what I.

[Narrator]

Crave, which is anything from AM PM.

[Snack Enthusiast]

What more could you want? Stop by AM PM where the snacks and drinks are perfectly craveable and convenient. That's cravenience. AM PM Too much good stuff.

[Charles Albright]

Gail Storm and Charles Farrell Margie's father as vice president of the investment firm of Honeywell and Todd, has many responsibilities. As executive VP he is constantly called upon to attend board meetings of the.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Various corporations that his firm is interested in.

[Charles Albright]

Right now, he's busily packing for a trip to Chicago. Well, now, let's see if I've packed everything. Handkerchiefs, traveler's checks, four suits, six shirts, two pair of pajamas, a dozen pair of socks, four pair of shoes and eight ties.

[Margie Albright]

You forgot your razor.

[Charles Albright]

Oh, I won't need it. I'll only be gone one day.

[Margie Albright]

You know, dad, it's amazing how you can direct the fortunes of four big corporations.

[Charles Albright]

Well, I'm a pretty remarkable fellow.

[Margie Albright]

And modest too.

[Charles Albright]

Oh, I didn't really mean that. I. I once heard Charlie Farrell use that line in a picture called 7th Heaven about 40 years ago.

[Margie Albright]

But that was before my time.

[Charles Albright]

Oh, mine too. I was only a little shaver then.

[Margie Albright]

Yeah, you used a little razor.

[Charles Albright]

Oh, forget it. What are you going to do while I'm gone, baby?

[Margie Albright]

Oh, I don't know. If Freddy isn't busy, maybe we'll go to the beach.

[Charles Albright]

What do you mean if he isn't busy? The odds are ten to one he won't be. That boy hasn't had a job since I don't know when.

[Margie Albright]

How can you say that? Last year he was only unemployed twice.

[Charles Albright]

Yes, and each time it lasted six months. Margie, he's worthless.

[Margie Albright]

Oh, I don't know about that. If it weren't for the Freddy Wilsons in this country, a lot of people would be out of jobs.

[Charles Albright]

Who?

[Margie Albright]

The people who work at the unemployment insurance office. But give him a chance, dad. He'll amount to something someday. He's still young.

[Charles Albright]

Well, what's he waiting for? Look at young Henry. When he was Freddie's age, he ran a Ford into a billion dollars. What's Freddy Ever done?

[Margie Albright]

Well, he once ran a motorcycle into a fire hydrant.

[Charles Albright]

Did he wreck the motorcycle?

[Margie Albright]

Yeah, and scared the daylights out of a dog, too.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Well.

[Charles Albright]

Well, that's about all he's capable of doing.

[Margie Albright]

Oh, dad, you pick on him too much. Freddy has a lot of fine coins.

[Charles Albright]

Name one. I said name one.

[Mrs. Odette]

I heard you.

[Margie Albright]

I was just trying to think.

[Charles Albright]

See, the only fine point he has is the one his head comes to. Well, I can't stand here and discuss Freddie Wilson. I've got to get to the airport.

[Margie Albright]

Do you want me to drive you?

[Charles Albright]

Oh, no, thanks, baby. I'll take my car and leave it in the parking lot so as I can have it when I get back. Let's see now. Did I pack everything?

[Mrs. Odette]

You forgot your mustache cup.

[Margie Albright]

Mrs. Odette. You don't miss a thing, do you?

[Mrs. Odette]

Well, all I can say is people who live in glass houses should never have me as a neighbor.

[Charles Albright]

This building isn't made of glass.

[Mrs. Odette]

No, but your window is. Another thing, Mr. Albright, I think it's dreadful the way you talk about Freddy Wilson.

[Charles Albright]

Well, now, how could you hear all that way across the court and with the windows closed?

[Mrs. Odette]

Lip reading. Anyway, just because Freddy isn't making any money right now doesn't mean he's a failure. Money isn't everything.

[Margie Albright]

Go ahead, tell him, Mrs. Odette.

[Mrs. Odette]

Now, you take my sister's ex boyfriend.

[Charles Albright]

He.

[Mrs. Odette]

He always made a dollar, but he was still a failure. Why, the government made better ones.

[Charles Albright]

Well, I better be going. I've got to catch that plane to Chicago. Do you have the time, Margie?

[Margie Albright]

No, my watch stopped. I. Come in.

[Freddy Wilson]

Hi, everyone.

[Margie Albright]

Oh, hi, Freddy. Dad's making a trip to Chicago. Do you have the time?

[Freddy Wilson]

Oh, sure. I'll be glad to go with you, Mr. Albr. What time do we leave?

[Charles Albright]

I leave right now, and as far as I'm concerned, you're gone. Yeah, that's what I always say.

[Freddy Wilson]

I'm real gone.

[Margie Albright]

Freddie. Dad's going to Chicago on a business trip.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Oh.

[Freddy Wilson]

Well, Mr. Albright, before you leave, I'd like to ask you a favor.

[Charles Albright]

How much is the favor?

[Freddy Wilson]

Oh, I don't want any money.

[Charles Albright]

For what then?

[Freddy Wilson]

Well, I'd like to ask you if you'd give me a job in your.

[Charles Albright]

Firm where I could have a private.

[Freddy Wilson]

Office and a big desk and a secretary, preferably blonde.

[Margie Albright]

Which, the desk or the secretary?

[Charles Albright]

Freddie, I'd have to be out of my mind to give you a job.

[Freddy Wilson]

Well, you wouldn't have to be, but it'd help. Well.

[Charles Albright]

Why you wouldn't last one day in my office.

[Freddy Wilson]

Well, that's all I want the job for, one day.

[Margie Albright]

I guess one day's work makes him eligible to collect four months unemployment insurance.

[Charles Albright]

Well, I don't have time to discuss this. My plane leaves in an hour. So long, Margie.

[Margie Albright]

So long, dad. Have a nice trip.

[Charles Albright]

Thanks. So long, Mrs. Odettes. Keep your eye on Margie while I'm away.

[Mrs. Odette]

Don't worry. I keep my eye on everyone in this building.

[Freddy Wilson]

Aren't you gonna say goodbye to me, Mr. Albright?

[Charles Albright]

Nothing would give me greater pleasure if I could only add one word to goodbye.

[Freddy Wilson]

Why forever.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Margie?

[Freddy Wilson]

Your father's always clowning.

[Margie Albright]

Freddie, why were you so anxious to get a job in Dad's office for just one day?

[Freddy Wilson]

Well, my uncle will be in town today, and I wanted to make a good impression on him. He'll only be here for one day.

[Margie Albright]

Which uncle is that?

[Mrs. Odette]

He's rich. One from Denver.

[Charles Albright]

Mrs. Odette.

[Freddy Wilson]

How did you know?

[Mrs. Odette]

I just read that telegram sticking out of your pocket.

[Freddy Wilson]

Mrs. Odet is right. He is rich.

[Margie Albright]

What's his name?

[Freddy Wilson]

Maurice Morton. He's got millions. And I figured that if I could make a good impression on him and he thought I was successful, he might set me up in business someday.

[Margie Albright]

Hey, wait a minute. An idea is cooking. If Uncle Maurice thought you had a nice big Park Avenue apartment, would that impress him?

[Freddy Wilson]

Oh, sure. But all I've got is a single room on 3rd Avenue. And without cooking privileges.

[Margie Albright]

Here's what I'm getting at. Dad won't be back until tomorrow. I'll stay with Mrs. Odess, and as long as your uncle will be in town. Only for one day. You tell him this is your apartment.

[Freddy Wilson]

Sounds good, but it won't work. I don't have the clothes to go with a layout like this.

[Margie Albright]

Well, you can wear Dad's things. And I've got another idea. We'll really put it on. I'll pretend that I'm your maid of Prethy.

[Mrs. Odette]

Is your uncle handsome, or does he look like you?

[Freddy Wilson]

Oh, no, he's very handsome. Why?

[Mrs. Odette]

Well, as long as you have a maid, I think you ought to have a housekeeper, too.

[Margie Albright]

That's an excellent idea. Freddy, go in Dad's room and put on one of his outfits. Suit, hat, shoes and everything. Meet your uncle and bring him over here and we'll pour it on.

[Freddy Wilson]

Okay. I don't know what time his plane is due, but I'll meet him at his hotel. He always stays at the Compton.

[Mrs. Odette]

Oh, Freddy, one more point of information. Is your uncle a Bachelor, I hope.

[Freddy Wilson]

Yes, he is.

[Margie Albright]

And he's well off, too. Mrs. Odette.

[Mrs. Odette]

That's the trouble with bachelors. They know they're well.

[Charles Albright]

Taxi, mister. Taxi.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Yes, please take me to the Hotel Compton. Right. Hey, you just got off that Denver plane, didn't you? Yes, yes, I live there.

[Charles Albright]

My wife's got relatives there. Maybe you know him.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Name's Smith. Well, there are a lot of Smiths there. Look out. Look at the way that maniac's driving.

[Charles Albright]

I'm sorry, driver, it was my fault. I'll just take your number and notify my insurance company.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Okay, mister. I'll say it was your fault. There ought to be a law against drivers like you.

[Charles Albright]

Now, please, sir. I'm late for my plane. I don't have time to argue. And besides, this is none of your business.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Well, I'm making it my business, you lame brain nitwit.

[Charles Albright]

Who's the lame witnit brain?

[Mr. Honeywell]

You are.

[Charles Albright]

Why, I'd punch you right in the nose if it wasn't for the eyeglasses.

[Mr. Honeywell]

I'm not wearing eyeglasses.

[Charles Albright]

No, but. But I am.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Well, take them off and put up your jute.

[Charles Albright]

It'll be a pleasure. All right, you take that down. I'll show you how this will came out of me. All right, break it up.

[Freddy Wilson]

Break it up.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Okay, mister, let's get in the cab.

[Margie Albright]

Mrs. Odette's ready from the lobby. He and his uncle are on the way up.

[Charles Albright]

Oh, goody.

[Mrs. Odette]

How do I look?

[Margie Albright]

You think I'll pass as a maid?

[Mrs. Odette]

Of course, especially with that outfit. But how about me? Do I look like a housekeeper?

[Margie Albright]

Well, you're dressed for the part. But aren't you wearing pretty expensive perfume for a housekeeper? What is that, anyway?

[Mrs. Odette]

It's a new perfume. It's called Msik Emsick. Yes, that's kiss me spelled backwards.

[Margie Albright]

Oh, here they are. Now, remember, put it on big.

[Charles Albright]

Oh, yes.

[Margie Albright]

Good afternoon, Mr. Wilson.

[Freddy Wilson]

Good afternoon, Marjorie.

[Mrs. Odette]

Good afternoon, master.

[Freddy Wilson]

Oh, Uncle Maurice, this is Marjorie.

[Mr. Honeywell]

How do you do, Marjorie?

[Freddy Wilson]

And Mrs. Odette.

[Mr. Honeywell]

How do you do, Mrs. Odette?

[Freddy Wilson]

Yes, these are my domestics.

[Mrs. Odette]

Domestic? I'm important.

[Charles Albright]

I come from Ireland.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Pretty. I must say, you have quite an apartment. You must be doing quite well.

[Margie Albright]

Oh, he does very well, uncle, sir.

[Mr. Honeywell]

And did you say that your housekeeper's name was Mrs. Odette?

[Margie Albright]

That's right.

[Mrs. Odette]

Married several times, but at present unattached.

[Charles Albright]

Well.

[Mr. Honeywell]

How intriguing.

[Charles Albright]

Uncle Michael.

[Freddy Wilson]

Maurice, would you like to take a nap before we go out to dinner? After your terrible experience at the airport, you must be tired.

[Margie Albright]

What terrible experience?

[Mr. Honeywell]

Oh, I got into a fracas with some uncouth lout who ran into my taxi cab. He hit me when I wasn't looking. But before I got through with him, I gave him what for.

[Mrs. Odette]

How masterful.

[Mr. Honeywell]

But I don't eat a nap. Nephew, tell me, is it possible for your housekeeper to have the afternoon off?

[Freddy Wilson]

Oh, sure.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Fine, fine. I thought maybe I'd have her show me the town.

[Freddy Wilson]

Oh, I'd be glad to show you the town, Uncle Maurice. Who asked you?

[Mrs. Odette]

Let's go, Uncle. Sir.

[Margie Albright]

Well, Freddy, I told you it'd work. Your uncle is very impressed.

[Freddy Wilson]

He sure is.

[Margie Albright]

And did he go for Mrs. Odette? Boy, if dad ever found out about this, he'd skin you alive. Drinking his champagne, wearing his best clothes.

[Freddy Wilson]

Ah, how can he find out? By the time he gets back from Chicago, Uncle Maurice will be gone.

[Mrs. Odette]

I wonder who that is.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Dad.

[Freddy Wilson]

Mr. Albright.

[Charles Albright]

Well, what are you two staring at? You think I was a ghost?

[Freddy Wilson]

I wish you were.

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[Margie Albright]

Dad, you're supposed to be in Chicago.

[Charles Albright]

I miss my plane. I got into a beef with some uncouth lout at the airport. The guy slugged me when my back was turned. But before I got through with him, I gave him what for.

[Margie Albright]

Dad, you've got to get the next plane and go right back to Chicago.

[Charles Albright]

Are you trying to get rid of me?

[Freddy Wilson]

Yeah.

[Charles Albright]

I mean, I'll go tomorrow. Mr. Honeywell is having the meetings postponed. In the meantime, I'm going to look up that monkey I had the fight with and give him another poke in the nose just for good measure.

[Margie Albright]

Well, how do you know where to find him?

[Charles Albright]

Well, he dropped his wallet. There was a telegram in it from the Hotel Compton, confirming a reservation. The Hotel Compton? Yes. What's his.

[Freddy Wilson]

Name?

[Charles Albright]

Maurice Morton.

[Margie Albright]

You better pick him up off the floor, dad.

[Charles Albright]

Well, why should I?

[Margie Albright]

Because he's wearing your suit.

[Charles Albright]

Hand me that pitcher of water, Margie. I'll bring him two.

[Margie Albright]

You got water all over your shirt.

[Charles Albright]

Where?

[Margie Albright]

The one Freddy is wearing. He's coming around.

[Charles Albright]

Where am I? Where am I? Never Mind where you are. You better start worrying about where you're going to be when I get through with you.

[Freddy Wilson]

Mr. Albright, I only wanted to make an impression on my uncle.

[Charles Albright]

Well, when I see him, I'll make an impression on him with my fist. And I think I'll give him an extra poke in the nose, too.

[Freddy Wilson]

Why?

[Charles Albright]

For having a stupid jerk like you for a nephew.

[Freddy Wilson]

Who's a stupid jerk?

[Charles Albright]

You are. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

[Freddy Wilson]

Well, sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never harm me.

[Margie Albright]

Don't tempt him, Freddy. He's liable to try sticking songs.

[Mrs. Odette]

Uh.

[Margie Albright]

Oh, that must be uncle Maurice and Mrs. Odette.

[Charles Albright]

Good. I can't wait to get my hands on him. Open the door and stand aside.

[Margie Albright]

Oh, it's Mr. Honeywell.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Hello, Margie.

[Margie Albright]

Hi, Albright.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Put down your dukes and stop making like Rocky Marciano.

[Charles Albright]

Oh, oh, I, I, I was just shadow boxing. Mr. Honeywell, I'm sorry about missing that plane. I, I didn't get a chance to explain to you over the phone, but, but it wasn't my fault.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Well, whoever made you miss it deserves a vote of thanks. I'm glad you didn't get to go to Chicago. I need you New York Now.

[Charles Albright]

Why? What's up?

[Mr. Honeywell]

I just got a wire from our Denver office. There's a man in town from Denver that our office there has been trying to land as a client. And you're just the man for the job.

[Charles Albright]

What's his name?

[Mr. Honeywell]

Maurice Morton. Margie, what's the matter?

[Mrs. Odette]

Nothing.

[Margie Albright]

A name got caught in my throat.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Albright, I want you to entertain this Morton fellow while he's here. Butter him up so that when he goes back to Denver, we'll have him as a client.

[Charles Albright]

But I can't stay here. I've got to be in Chicago tomorrow.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Oh, forget it. I'll go to Chicago. Already made a reservation. Butter up this Morton character. I want that account.

[Charles Albright]

Oh, but Mr. Honey. That's an order. Yes, sir.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Okay. See you when I get back.

[Charles Albright]

Oh, what a spot to be in. The guy I had to fight with, the guy I want to punch in the nose. And now I've got to butter him up. What are you laughing at, you little hyena? Why does he have to be your uncle?

[Freddy Wilson]

Because he's my mother's brother.

[Charles Albright]

Why does he have to be your mother's brother?

[Margie Albright]

Dad, you can't blame Freddy for that.

[Charles Albright]

What am I going to do about this situation? When Morton finds out that I'm Vern Albright of Honeywell and Podcast, we'll never get this account.

[Margie Albright]

Well, I'll think of something.

[Freddy Wilson]

You better start thinking fast. This must be him now.

[Mrs. Odette]

We had such a wonderful afternoon.

[Mr. Honeywell]

We certainly did. What's this uncouth lout doing here?

[Charles Albright]

Now, Mr. Morton, I. I can explain everything.

[Margie Albright]

Mr. Morton, this is my father, Victor. He's Mr. Wilson, chauffeur in valet.

[Freddy Wilson]

Boy with quick thinking.

[Charles Albright]

Margie, what are you.

[Margie Albright]

See, Mr. Martin, my boss, Mr. Wilson, sent Victor out to the airport to meet you.

[Freddy Wilson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right, Uncle.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Oh, well, all I can say, nephew, is that with the exception of your fascinating maid and your charming housekeeper, the rest of your domestic help doesn't have the intelligence of a donkey.

[Freddy Wilson]

Well, it's so hard to get help these days.

[Charles Albright]

What? Now, now, see here, Victor. What's your tongue? You uncouth lout.

[Margie Albright]

I think you should. And I think you should apologize to Mr. Morton for what happened at the airport.

[Charles Albright]

I apologize. I apologize.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Okay, I accept.

[Charles Albright]

Margie, what was the idea of passing me off as Freddy's chauffeur?

[Margie Albright]

Not so loud, dad. Uncle Maurice is out in the kitchen with Mrs. Odess. If he finds out who you really are, Honeywell and Todd will never get his account.

[Charles Albright]

Well, how do you expect me to land his account as Victor?

[Mrs. Odette]

Just listen.

[Margie Albright]

Listen a moment. Uncle Maurice has a very high regard for Freddy. All he has to do is tell his uncle what a great organization Honeywell and Todd have and his uncle will listen to him.

[Charles Albright]

Well, it might work at that. Okay, I'll continue to be Victor.

[Margie Albright]

Good. Then it's settled.

[Freddy Wilson]

Just a moment. Nobody consulted me.

[Margie Albright]

Freddy, you don't mean to say you won't do it?

[Freddy Wilson]

Only if your father asks me.

[Charles Albright]

Okay, I'm asking.

[Freddy Wilson]

Say please.

[Charles Albright]

Oh, all right.

[Freddy Wilson]

Please. Pretty please.

[Mrs. Odette]

Dad, put down that vase. Here comes Uncle Marie.

[Charles Albright]

Okay.

[Freddy Wilson]

Start acting like servants. Victor, lay out my evening clothes.

[Charles Albright]

I'd like to lay you out in them.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Nephew. I guess I'll go back to my hotel.

[Freddy Wilson]

Oh, I'll go with you, Uncle. As long as you're leaving tomorrow, I want to discuss something with you.

[Mr. Honeywell]

I'm not leaving tomorrow. I'm having such a good time here, I think I'll stay a week.

[Freddy Wilson]

A week?

[Charles Albright]

Yes.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Nephew, could you have your chauffeur drive me to my hotel?

[Freddy Wilson]

Oh, sure. Okay, Victor, get going, and then you can have the rest of the evening off.

[Charles Albright]

Well, thank you.

[Freddy Wilson]

Thank you what?

[Charles Albright]

Thank you very much. Thank you, sir.

[Freddy Wilson]

You're welcome.

[Charles Albright]

Margie, I can't stand much more of this. Four days as Freddie Wilson, chauffeur and valid is enough. To drive me batty.

[Margie Albright]

I know what you mean. It's beginning to get on my nerves too. He's really living the part. The way he orders me around in.

[Mrs. Odette]

Front of his uncle.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Greetings, everyone.

[Charles Albright]

The master is home.

[Margie Albright]

Where's your uncle?

[Freddy Wilson]

He'll be over soon.

[Margie Albright]

Freddy. We're all getting a little tired of pretending to be your servants. And we're getting a little tired of the way you are. Order us around in front of your uncle.

[Freddy Wilson]

Well, I'm just playing my part too. Do you think I like what I'm doing?

[Mrs. Odette]

Yes, you're right.

[Freddy Wilson]

Uhoh. Maid, onto the door.

[Charles Albright]

Why?

[Margie Albright]

It didn't say anything.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Hello, everybody.

[Freddy Wilson]

Oh, hi, Aunt.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Well, nephew, it's so nice out, why don't you have Victor take us for a drive in the country, huh?

[Mrs. Odette]

Wonderful. I'll fix a picnic lunch.

[Freddy Wilson]

Yeah, good idea. Victor, get the convertible out.

[Mr. Honeywell]

And, nephew, I trust that you'll give your housekeeper the afternoon off so she can accompany us.

[Freddy Wilson]

Oh, sure.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Good.

[Margie Albright]

Now, how about giving your maid the afternoon off too, so she can go along?

[Charles Albright]

Why not?

[Freddy Wilson]

I'm democratic.

[Mrs. Odette]

Who cares how you vote? Let's song.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Ah, this country air is wonderful. Comfy, Mrs. Odette?

[Mrs. Odette]

Are you?

[Charles Albright]

Mm.

[Mrs. Odette]

Then how about letting me sit on your lap for a table?

[Charles Albright]

Okay.

[Margie Albright]

Okay, Freddy, now's the time to go to work on him.

[Charles Albright]

Ah, you're right.

[Freddy Wilson]

Victor, drive a little slower.

[Charles Albright]

I asked Mr. Wilson, sir. Master.

[Freddy Wilson]

Uncle Maurice, I'd like to talk to you again about letting Honeywell and handled your investment.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Well, I haven't had time to really check up on them, but I did learn that they have a VP by the name of Vern Albright who practically runs the firm. What sort of a man is he?

[Freddy Wilson]

Oh, I think he's a good man, Uncle. Of course, I wouldn't go so far as to say he was brilliant.

[Charles Albright]

Victor, watch me in private.

[Mrs. Odette]

That was close, Victor.

[Freddy Wilson]

Keep your eyes on the road.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Freddie, what were you saying about Albright's ability?

[Margie Albright]

Better way till we get around this curve.

[Mr. Honeywell]

I'm willing to be guided by your opinion, nephew. If you say this Albright fellow is competent, I'll give his term my account. What's that?

[Mrs. Odette]

What happened?

[Charles Albright]

I. I don't know.

[Freddy Wilson]

How's your gas?

[Charles Albright]

Oh, it doesn't bother me. I took some bicarbonate before.

[Margie Albright]

And indicator. It says empty.

[Mrs. Odette]

We passed the gas station about four miles back.

[Margie Albright]

Where there's an empty can in the back of the car.

[Freddy Wilson]

All right, Victor, take this can and start walking.

[Margie Albright]

Me?

[Charles Albright]

Walk four miles for gas? Why, you little squirt. I'VE taken all I'm going to take from you. Good girl, Bright.

[Mrs. Odette]

Pump me down.

[Charles Albright]

Okay, Mr. Morton. Now you know I'm Vern Albright of Honeywell and Todd. I only pretended to be Victor so you wouldn't hold any hard feelings against me for that incident at the airport.

[Mr. Honeywell]

I knew it all the time, Albright.

[Mrs. Odette]

How did you find out?

[Charles Albright]

Yes, how did you find out?

[Mrs. Odette]

Don't look at me.

[Mr. Honeywell]

No, Mrs. Odette's. I was suspicious, and I made a few inquiries around the building. You know, the doorman, switchboard operator and so forth. That's how I found out everything.

[Margie Albright]

Well, now that you know, I guess this means you won't do any business with my father.

[Mr. Honeywell]

Well, on the contrary. Anyone who can take the punishment that he took from Freddy is good enough for me.

[Charles Albright]

Thanks, Mr. Morton.

[Margie Albright]

I hope you're not angry with Freddy for deceiving you.

[Charles Albright]

No, I don't.

[Mr. Honeywell]

I could never be angry with Freddy. He's always been my favorite nephew. In spite of his many faults, he's a likable kid.

[Freddy Wilson]

Oh, thanks, Uncle.

[Charles Albright]

Okay, likable kid, pick up that can and start walking back for gas. Okay, get going. Mush. Mush.

[Mrs. Odette]

Sam.