NBC Maxwell House Coffee Time Thanksgiving 1940-11-21

Summary

Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: NBC Maxwell House Coffee Time Thanksgiving (1940-11-21)

Summary & Highlights

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Main Theme

This episode transports listeners straight into the heart of a 1940s Thanksgiving celebration with the Maxwell House Coffee Time program. Brimming with musical performances, comedy routines, and slice-of-life banter among Golden Age radio stars (Jack Benny, Mary Martin, Dick Powell, Meredith Wilson, Fanny Brice as Baby Snooks, and Don Wilson), it offers both nostalgia and timeless humor. The episode celebrates the season, playfully debates small-town rivalries, and takes a comedic look at show business.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Warm Opening & Cast Introduction

• Classic chaos as Baby Snooks attempts to hijack the show’s opening (00:33-01:02)

  • Snooks insists on announcing the show, holding her breath in protest until the adults let her.
  • Sets a playful, familial tone, typical of radio’s live spontaneity.

• Don Wilson formally introduces the show and its cast (01:04-01:31)

  • Notable Roll Call: Mary Martin, Meredith Wilson, Hanley Stafford, Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks), guest Jack Benny, and regular host Dick Powell.

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2. Musical Performance: "Rockaby Your Baby (With a Long Underwear Tune)"

• Dick Powell delivers a comic song introduction (02:21-02:51)
  • “I assume no responsibility for the music and lyrics. My job is to keep it on key and make it come out even with the orchestration.” – Dick Powell (02:32)
• Meredith Wilson leads the orchestra and vocals (02:51–04:19)
  • Light, parodic, and filled with topical references and gentle ribbing about changing times and “the kids’ vocabulary nowadays.”

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3. Thanksgiving, Coffee & Comedic Banter

• Don Wilson pitches the joys of Maxwell House post-Thanksgiving dinner (04:42–06:17)

  • Over-the-top gratitude for the improved coffee blend, exaggerated yet sincere.
  • “Never before…has Maxwell House coffee been so rich, so full bodied, so downright delicious as it is today.” – Don Wilson (05:20)
  • The ad transitions naturally into the show without breaking flow.

• Jack Benny’s Energetic, Meta Entrance (06:18–07:53)

  • Classic Jack Benny confusion—was he supposed to be on the show? Is he really “the” Jack Benny?
  • “Who'd you expect up here tonight? Jeannie with the light brown hair or Fred Allen's eagle or something? It certainly is a surprise.” – Jack Benny (06:43)
  • Running jokes about his name’s commonness and signature “blue eyes.”

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4. Where Should the Movie Premiere Be Held?

• Benny and the cast debate the ideal small town for their movie premiere: (10:01–13:37)

  • Jack Benny wants it in Waukegan; Fred Allen pushes for Old Orchard, Maine; Mary Martin suggests Weatherford, Texas.
  • “Listen, Mary, Waukegan was Waukegan when Old Orchard was just a couple of stumps and Allen was one of them.” – Jack Benny (12:40)
  • Each cast member brings comedic hometown pride, poking fun at rural America.

• Running gags about gifts, thriftiness, and shirts

  • “If I'm gonna be called cheap, I can stay on my own show, or I can lie my way out of it.” – Jack Benny (10:01)
  • “I've got old drawers full of them. What do I need with shirts?” – Jack Benny (13:44)

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5. The Realities of Show Business

• Mary Martin gives Jack Benny a gentle reality check (13:58–16:45)
  • Suggests the era of Jack’s biggest stardom may be fading:
    • “You can't stay there forever. You had to start slipping sometime. Everybody does.” – Mary Martin (15:29)
    • “Show business is funny. One day you're up and the next day I'm down… Oh well, I still got my blue eyes.” – Jack Benny (17:05)
  • Benny is persuaded not to demand the premiere location, embracing humility and practicality.

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6. Musical Interlude: "Falling Star"

• Mary Martin performs a new song (“Falling Star”) by Meredith Wilson and Charles Chaplin (for “The Great Dictator”) (17:39–20:42)
  • Poignant, with themes of hope, loneliness, and following a guiding star.

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7. The Home of Baby Snooks: Thanksgiving Bedtime Routine

• Fanny Brice’s Baby Snooks and her Daddy share cozy comic banter (20:43–28:13)
  • Snooks negotiates for more turkey, questions allegories, and hilariously misunderstands metaphors.
  • Daddy attempts to explain the meaning and history of Thanksgiving, the Pilgrims, Plymouth Rock, and national holidays.
  • “The turkey too?”—Snooks' innocent questioning leads to a classic misdirection gag. (25:30)
  • Running wordplay on “forefathers/four bears,” and Snooks inventing her own holiday for her cat’s birthday.
  • “You made a holiday? What are you going to celebrate?”
    “My pussycat’s birthday.” – (24:11–24:14)
  • All wraps up with a playful bedtime prayer and one last query from Snooks.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Baby Snooks’ attempted coup of the program opening

  • “If you don't let me announce it, I'll hold my breath till my face turns blue.” – Baby Snooks (00:50)

• Jack Benny on showbiz realities

  • “Show business is funny. One day you're up and the next day I'm down. One day you're working for big money and the next day you're working for shirts.” (17:05)

• Classic kid logic from Baby Snooks

  • “Did you have forefathers?”
    – “Everybody has forefathers.”
    – “Where’s the other three?” (26:33–26:40)

• Mary Martin’s gentle jab

  • “You can’t stay there forever. You had to start slipping sometime. Everybody does.” (15:29)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamps | |-------------------------------------------------|-----------------| | Show's comedic opening & cast intros | 00:33–01:31 | | Song: "Rockaby Your Baby…" | 02:21–04:19 | | Maxwell House Coffee pitch | 04:42–06:17 | | Jack Benny’s entrance and confusion jokes | 06:18–07:53 | | Movie premiere location debate | 10:01–13:37 | | Jack Benny and Mary Martin's 'fame' talk | 13:58–16:45 | | Song: "Falling Star" by Mary Martin | 17:39–20:42 | | Baby Snooks Thanksgiving bedtime routine | 20:43–28:13 |

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Tone & Style

The episode epitomizes the breezy, quick-fire humor of Golden Age radio comedies. Jokes are affectionate and gently mocking, with rapid back-and-forths, wordplay, and family-friendly banter. Sentiment comes through in the music and closing scenes, balancing the relentless gags.

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For Listeners

Those unfamiliar with the Golden Age format will find this a playful, accessible window into radio’s heyday—chock full of recognizable names, classic songcraft, and quick-witted comedy routines that gently lampoon both showbiz and American traditions. The mix of music, celebrity repartee, and family scenes makes this vintage Thanksgiving special enduringly inviting.

Transcript

[Liberty Mutual Announcer]

Limu Emu And Doug.

[Liberty Mutual Narrator]

Here we have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

[Jack Benny]

Limu. Is that guy with the binoculars watching us?

[Liberty Mutual Narrator]

Cut the camera. They see us.

[Liberty Mutual Announcer]

Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty Savings vary underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts.

[Baby Snooks]

Daddy.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Snooks, be quiet.

[Baby Snooks]

Why?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

The program's going on the air in a second.

[Baby Snooks]

How do you know?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Because Don Wilson is standing there ready to announce it.

[Baby Snooks]

I want to announce it.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

You can.

[Baby Snooks]

I want to announce it.

[Don Wilson]

Please, Snooks, the signal's coming.

[Baby Snooks]

If you don't let me announce it, I'll.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

You what?

[Baby Snooks]

I'll hold my breath till my face turns blue.

[Mary Martin]

Oh, Donald.

[Don Wilson]

All right, Daddy.

[Jack Benny]

All right.

[Don Wilson]

Let her announce it.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Thanks. Go ahead, you little dictator. Ray, shoot.

[Don Wilson]

There's a signal.

[Baby Snooks]

It's Maxwell House coffee time. Think, my good.

[Don Wilson]

And tonight, the first thing on our menu is Maxwell House coffee. Yes, this is coffee time. Time to sit back, relax and enjoy with us a steaming, fragrant cup of the coffee that's good to the last drop. Well, now we're ready for another lightning session of entertainment with our Maxwell House stars, Mary Martin, Meredith Wilson, Hanley Stafford and Fanny Brice as Baby Snooks. And as a special Thanksgiving package for all of you, our super duper added attraction, your favorite comedian, Jack Benning. All these wonderful personalities in addition to your regular host and smooth singing master of the festivities, that engaging young, merry Andrew, Dick Powell.

[Dick Powell]

Thank you. Thank you. Well, ladies and gentlemen, since we have so much show to cram into these 30 short minutes, this young Mary Andrew is going to engage himself in a song fresh from the pen of maestro Meredith Wilson and bearing the unsentimental title, Rockaby youy Baby With a Long Underwear tune. I assume no responsibility for the music and lyrics. My job is to keep it on key and make it come out even with the orchestration. Dippy, if you please.

[Meredith Wilson]

Rockaby your baby with a sweet classical you when papa hiding take you riding you go gliding through the moon To a Bronson or string quartet you be singing a sweetheart you wear so rock a by your baby with a sweet old dear old classical dude but the kids vocabulary nowadays or it would really curl your hair Everything from buck to waffen bop they call on underwear O roby your baby with a long underwear tune when papa hiding takes you riding you go gliding to the moon Johannes Brown sonatas and spring quarte make you a harder for sweetheart you wear so rockaby your baby with a long hair Long underwear too Johannes Drums, sonatas and string quartets make you hotter for sweetheart?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

You bet.

[Meredith Wilson]

Go rock her by your baby with a long hair long under Matthew.

[Dick Powell]

Thank you. And now here's Don Wilson who tells me his Thanksgiving dinner tasted just a little bit better this year than ever before. What happened, Don? Did you eat both drumsticks?

[Don Wilson]

Come to think of a Dick, I believe I did. But the real reason Thanksgiving dinner tasted extra good this year was because.

[Dick Powell]

Oh, I get it. I get it. You had a double portion of pumpkin pie smothered in whipped cream.

[Don Wilson]

That's right, Dick, I did. But what I'm trying to say is just this. I especially enjoyed Thanksgiving dinner this year because it was topped off with a cup of the richest, most superbly delicious coffee I ever tasted.

[Dick Powell]

But surely, Don, this isn't the first Thanksgiving you've enjoyed Maxwell House coffee.

[Don Wilson]

No, indeed. But never before in all its 50 year history has Maxwell House coffee been so rich, so full bodied, so downright delicious as it is today. You see, friends, the new Maxwell House blend is extra rich in highland grow and extra flavor coffees. Coffees so rare in fragrance, so vigorous in flavor, they're unlike any other coffees in the world. Naturally, these coffees have always been limited in their availability. But now we are able to obtain the great quantities we need. That's why today, every pound of Maxwell House has a richer body, a more delicious flavor than any coffees you may have ever known before. And yet, with all this extra goodness, right now Maxwell House is selling at the lowest prices in history. So this weekend, get acquainted with the new Maxwell House coffee. Join the thousands who have already pronounced it coffee at its best.

[Dick Powell]

Well done, Don. And now, ladies and gentlemen.

[Jack Benny]

Go ahead, Dick. Hello. How are you? Hello.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

By Jack. Jack Benny.

[Jack Benny]

Well, am I. Am I on time?

[Meredith Wilson]

Why, Jack, of all people, what are you doing here?

[Jack Benny]

What am I doing here?

[Dick Powell]

Well, this is certainly a surprise. Meredith, look, here's Jack Benny.

[Jack Benny]

Jack Benny. See, this is a surprise. Now, wait a minute. Well, you're the last guy in the world we saw. Wait a minute. Look, fellas, last week on this program you announced that Jack Benny would be your guest here tonight. I announced it on my own show. And not two minutes ago, Don Wilson started off the program by introducing the cast and Jack Benny. Now, who'd you expect up here tonight? Jeannie with the light brown hair or Fred Allen's eagle or something? It certainly is A surprise.

[Dick Powell]

Well, frankly, I did hear Don Wilson announce Jack Benny, but I didn't associate it with.

[Jack Benny]

With you. No, you didn't.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

No.

[Jack Benny]

We didn't know you were the Jack.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Benny he was talking about.

[Jack Benny]

Oh, well, of course. Imagine. Imagine me thinking there was only one Jack Benny. Why, that. That name is as common as Stanislaus Bragi is. The phone book is full of them.

[Dick Powell]

Now, wait a minute, Jack. You don't have to get sarcastic about it.

[Jack Benny]

I'm not sarcastic, Dick. Oh, well, let's forget it. I'm here, you knew I was coming, and we're not fooling anybody. Okay, okay.

[Dick Powell]

I guess we were bordering on the puerile and banal.

[Jack Benny]

It's a very good line, Dick. Do you mind if I use it on my program last week and we pronounced it banal, if you don't mind. They didn't know me, but they knew my material. Say, Dick. What?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

You know, he has got blue eyes.

[Jack Benny]

Oh, there they go again. You think I was the only guy in the world with big blue eyes? Oh, hello, Don.

[Baby Snooks]

Jack, how are you?

[Don Wilson]

Well, this is indeed a surprise.

[Jack Benny]

Oh, fine. Some enthusiasm after a honeymoon. You know, Don, I just went through all of that with Dick Powell. That was our opening routine. He didn't know which Jack Benny to expect tonight. I see.

[Don Wilson]

Well, Jack, I'm sure the Dick didn't mean to imply that your name isn't important. I think he was just preoccupied.

[Jack Benny]

You don't have to defend him, Don. After all, when you get right down to things, not everybody's name is Jack Benny.

[Don Wilson]

Not even yours.

[Jack Benny]

Now, cut that out. You know very well, Don, my name has been Jack Benny ever since I've been in show business.

[Don Wilson]

Well, what was it before that?

[Jack Benny]

All right, listen, Don, I could use my right name, but how would it sound if I said jello again? This is Radcliffe Montague talking. Who would believe it?

[Don Wilson]

Nobody in Waukegan.

[Jack Benny]

All right, Don. Just for that last remark, when you hang your stocking up this Christmas, don't expect it to be too bulky unless your leg is in it.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

If you.

[Jack Benny]

Get what I mean.

[Dick Powell]

Why, Jack Benny, don't tell me you're not going to give Don a Christmas present this year just because of an innocent little remark like that. Well, why, Jack, that doesn't sound like you.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

It doesn't?

[Jack Benny]

Well, Dick, you know I've been kidded a lot about being thrifty and not over generous. But you can believe me, it's nothing but malicious slander.

[Dick Powell]

Oh, it is, eh?

[Jack Benny]

Yeah, you know how those things are, Dick. Once A story spread that the fellow's tight. It's very difficult to live it down.

[Dick Powell]

Especially when you live up to it.

[Jack Benny]

Yes. Now, for instance. Hey, wait a minute. If I'm gonna be called cheap, I can stay on my own show, or I can lie my way out of it. In the first place, I came up here just to see Mary Martin.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

You did?

[Don Wilson]

What about, Jack?

[Jack Benny]

About the premiere of our picture. I want her to help me get it set for Waukegan.

[Dick Powell]

Say, that's the picture you and Mary made with Fred Allen, isn't it?

[Jack Benny]

No, that's the picture we made in spite of Allen. Boy, what a ham he is, the way he tries to steal every scene.

[Dick Powell]

Oh, well, Jack, I worked in a picture with Fred Allen once, and he never tried to steal anything from me.

[Jack Benny]

He didn't, eh?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

No.

[Dick Powell]

In fact, he was very considerate. Whenever I did a comedy bit, Fred would turn his back to the camera.

[Jack Benny]

Well, he did the same thing with me, only he didn't have his pants on. He and his creton shorts. You know, Dick, he wants the premiere of our picture held in Old Orchard, Maine.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Say, Jack, I've got an idea.

[Jack Benny]

What is it, Meredith?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Why don't you hold the premiere in Mason City?

[Jack Benny]

Mason City? Why?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Well, that's my hometown.

[Jack Benny]

Why should we have it in your hometown? You weren't even in the picture. Well, that's it.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

I've got nothing to lose. Quiet.

[Jack Benny]

Stay down. Where's Mary Martin?

[Don Wilson]

Well, she should be here any minute now, Jack. Meanwhile, sit down, Jack, and have a cup of steaming hot Maxwell House coffee.

[Jack Benny]

With your Jello Boy, what a plug. Don, you're about as subtle as Olson and Johnson. And remind me to change that to Abbott and Costello for the second show, will ya? So Mary ought to be here soon, eh? Yes, Jack.

[Mary Martin]

Sit down.

[Dick Powell]

While Meredith Wilson plays the number. You might as well listen to a.

[Don Wilson]

Good orchestra for a change.

[Jack Benny]

Yeah, you said it. What are you gonna play, Meredith? Brown eyes.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Why are you blue?

[Jack Benny]

Oh, stop with that. Now, the next one on this show who says I've got lovely blue eyes will get a stare out of them for the next ten minutes.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Hey, Jack, here's Mary Martin.

[Dick Powell]

Mary, here's Jack.

[Jack Benny]

Why, hello, Mary.

[Mary Martin]

Hello, Jack. How are you, honey?

[Jack Benny]

I'm fine. Do you look swell, Mary? No kidding. You're a sight for blue eyes. I mean, sore eyes. Yes, sir.

[Mary Martin]

Well, Jack, I'm certainly surprised to see you here.

[Jack Benny]

You are?

[Baby Snooks]

Yes.

[Mary Martin]

Isn't this dialogue right off the cob?

[Jack Benny]

Yes, but Phil Harris is listening in, and he'll think it's dynamite. Now, look, Mary, I came here to ask a favor of you. I want you to help me out on a little matter about our picture.

[Mary Martin]

I'll be glad to, Jack. What is it?

[Jack Benny]

Well, you know, I want the premiere of the picture held in Waukegan, and Fred Allen wants it held in his hometown, Old Orchard.

[Mary Martin]

Where's that?

[Jack Benny]

It's up in Maine.

[Mary Martin]

Oh, I know where Old Orchard is. Where's Waukegan?

[Jack Benny]

Listen, Mary, Waukegan was Waukegan when Old Orchard was just a couple of stumps and Alan was one of them. But, Mary, truthfully, don't you think that Old Orchard is the wrong place to hold a premiere of a picture as important as ours?

[Mary Martin]

I agree with you there, Jack, 100%.

[Jack Benny]

Now, you're going to stick by me on this. We will definitely not have it in Old Orchard. Yes, and we'll have it in Walkie and Illinois.

[Mary Martin]

No.

[Jack Benny]

What?

[Mary Martin]

I think it should be in my hometown, Weatherford, Texas.

[Baby Snooks]

Yikes.

[Jack Benny]

Mary, be reasonable. What's the population of weatherford?

[Mary Martin]

Oh, about 18,000. Head.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Head?

[Jack Benny]

Mary, I'm talking about people, not cattle. How many people have you got in Weatherford?

[Baby Snooks]

I don't know.

[Mary Martin]

We brand everybody.

[Jack Benny]

You brand everybody?

[Mary Martin]

Yes. My heart belongs to Daddy, but my body belongs to B Bar H.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Well.

[Jack Benny]

Listen, Mary, let's get this settled once and for all. I'm not going to Old Orchard, Maine, and I'm not going to Weatherford, Texas.

[Dick Powell]

But, Jack, you might be making a mistake.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Those cow punchers are wonderful people.

[Dick Powell]

If they like you, they'll give you.

[Don Wilson]

The shirts off their backs.

[Baby Snooks]

Dick, Shirts.

[Jack Benny]

I've got old drawers full of them. What do I need with shirts?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

But, Jack.

[Jack Benny]

But, Jack, nothing. I'm going to call the studio, and this time I'm going to lay down the law. I'm going to get tough. It's either walking or they're going to lose me.

[Mary Martin]

Oh, Jack.

[Jack Benny]

What?

[Mary Martin]

Before you do that, I'd like to talk to you a minute.

[Jack Benny]

All right. What is it?

[Mary Martin]

Well, Jack, I don't want to hurt you and what I'm going to say, but I want you to take this in the spirit in which this gift is given.

[Jack Benny]

Mary, what are you talking about?

[Mary Martin]

Well, I overheard a conversation today at paramount between Mr. LeBaron and Mr. Freeman. And? And they.

[Jack Benny]

Yes.

[Mary Martin]

Well, Jack, you've simply got to face facts. I know you were a big star once.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

What?

[Mary Martin]

Well, two years ago you were on top.

[Liberty Mutual Narrator]

And Doug here we have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance. And save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

[Jack Benny]

Uh, Limu. Is that guy with the binoculars watching us?

[Liberty Mutual Narrator]

Cut the camera. They see us.

[Liberty Mutual Announcer]

Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty Liberty Liberty Liberty Savings Fairy Unwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates excludes Massachusetts.

[Dutch Pet Care Announcer]

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[Mary Martin]

You can't stay there forever. You had to start flipping sometime. Everybody does.

[Jack Benny]

Everybody?

[Mary Martin]

Yes, Jack. Even the big ones. Well, you know how it is in show business, that the public is fickle. Yesterday you were a star, and today. Oh.

[Baby Snooks]

Gee, don't you see, Jackie?

[Mary Martin]

You can't get tough now. Why don't you be satisfied to go along and make the best of things, hmm?

[Jack Benny]

Well, maybe you're right, Mary. Maybe I shouldn't call them up. The public is fickle and every nickel counts. Say, and then, and then.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

What'S.

[Jack Benny]

What's the difference if the premiere is held in Old Orchard, Maine or Waukegan or Weatherford, Texas? Say, you know, say, if those cow punchers like me, maybe they'll give me the shirts off their back. You know, I can always use a few more shirts. After all, shirts ain't hay.

[Mary Martin]

What do you say, Jack?

[Jack Benny]

Well, Mary, I'm sure you're right and I certainly appreciate your cooperation. And you tell Mr. LeBaron and Mr. Freeman you get to see them. Tell them I'm going home now and pack and any place they want the premiere is okay with me. So long, Mary.

[Mary Martin]

Goodbye, Jack.

[Jack Benny]

Goodbye, T. Show business is funny. One day you're up and the next day I'm down. One day you're working for big money and the next day you're working for shirts. If they like you. Oh, well, I still got my blue eyes.

[Dick Powell]

Well, that was very diplomatic, Mary. Are you ready for a song now?

[Mary Martin]

Ready and willing.

[Dick Powell]

Ladies and gentlemen, from the prolific pen of Meredith Wilson comes another gem. In collaboration with Charles Chaplin, he has written for the Great Dictator an appealing song, Falling Star. Mary Martin sings it for the first time.

[Meredith Wilson]

Star.

[Baby Snooks]

You heavenly messenger, Bro Marble, find me the one who love holy near or far I gladly would follow your welcome be Into a land of le. My star.

[Mary Martin]

I find this earth so.

[Baby Snooks]

Sad and dreary with all sunlight far O falling star While searching for someone who's lonely true I ride along with you Sam. I find this earth both sad and re.

[Mary Martin]

And for help I turn to you.

[Baby Snooks]

Above the poly star While searching for someone who's along with. I ride along with you.

[Meredith Wilson]

Thank you, Mary.

[Jack Benny]

Thank you.

[Dick Powell]

Now, with a magic. With a magic touch of radio, we transport you all to the home of Baby Snooks.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Well, Snooks, it's bedtime.

[Baby Snooks]

I ain't sleepy, Daddy.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Just the same, you've got to go to bed.

[Baby Snooks]

Why?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Because everybody has to sleep. It's impossible to burn the candle at both ends.

[Mary Martin]

Which candle?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

No candle. It's just an allegorical expression.

[Baby Snooks]

Let's burn the daddy Snokes.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

There's nothing to burn. When you hear of a person burning the candle at both ends, he hasn't really got a candle. And he's not burning either end.

[Baby Snooks]

Is he burning in the middle?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

No, it's just a symbolic phrase. Now, come on. You've had a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner. You played with your toys. Now it's time to go to sleep.

[Baby Snooks]

I want some more turkey.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

More turkey?

[Baby Snooks]

Yeah, from both ends.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Now, look here. So if you eat another mouthful of turkey, you. You burst.

[Baby Snooks]

Will I?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Certainly. You ate enough to feed an army. One more piece and you'd positively explode.

[Baby Snooks]

Well, give me a piece and hide behind the door.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

No, no more turkey.

[Baby Snooks]

I want some tacos.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

It'll poison you.

[Baby Snooks]

I want some poison.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Now, don't try to bribe me. Come on, get your things.

[Baby Snooks]

I don't wanna.

[Mary Martin]

Please.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Here. Here's the whiskey. You can have this.

[Baby Snooks]

There's no taking on it.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Well, you can make a wish with it. You take one in and I'll take the other. And whoever gets the largest piece gets a wish. Come on, pull.

[Mary Martin]

All right.

[Baby Snooks]

I got it, Daddy.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Fine. Now you can have whatever you wish for.

[Baby Snooks]

Can I?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Yes. What did you wish for?

[Baby Snooks]

More tasty.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

All right, you little glutton. I'll give you some more. Taste turkey.

[Baby Snooks]

Will you give me some white meat?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Yes, I'll give you some white meat.

[Mary Martin]

I don't like white meat.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

All right, then I'll give you dark meat.

[Baby Snooks]

No, I don't want dark meat.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Well, for heaven's sake, what do you want?

[Baby Snooks]

Cranberry sauce?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Now, that's enough, Snooks. I'm not going to let you drive me crazy tonight.

[Baby Snooks]

Why?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Because this is one day of the year. I don't want to have to spank you. It's Thanksgiving and we should all be joyful one Christmas. After Thanksgiving.

[Baby Snooks]

I want Christmas to come face.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

You can't change the holidays around.

[Baby Snooks]

What holiday?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

People make holidays to celebrate big events. George Washington's birthday's a holiday. Lincoln's birthday's a holiday.

[Baby Snooks]

How did they get born on holiday?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

They didn't get born on holidays.

[Baby Snooks]

You said they did.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

No, no. They were born on ordinary days. But they became so famous that people celebrate their birthdays. Holidays.

[Baby Snooks]

Ah.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Take George Washington for instance. Now, why do people celebrate his birthday and not mine?

[Baby Snooks]

Because he never told a lie?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

No, because he was a famous president and I'm just a non entity.

[Jack Benny]

I'm nothing at all.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Just another drab, colorless human piece of flotsam.

[Baby Snooks]

I think you wonderful, Daddy.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Thanks. Oh, well, at any rate, people make these holidays and we all celebrate. And it gives little girls like you a chance to stay home from school. Is that clear?

[Baby Snooks]

It's clear. Daddy.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

What?

[Baby Snooks]

I ain't going to school tomorrow.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Why not?

[Baby Snooks]

Because I just made a holiday.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

You made a holiday? What are you going to celebrate?

[Baby Snooks]

My pussycat's birthday.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Oh, that's ridiculous. A national holiday is only for a great event. What did your pussycat do that calls for a holiday?

[Baby Snooks]

He had six kittens.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Well, there's nothing remarkable about that.

[Baby Snooks]

Could you do it.

[Mary Martin]

Now?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Listen, Snooks, I'm trying to explain to you that a national holiday must be some great occasion like Thanksgiving Day.

[Baby Snooks]

What?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Well, if you get undressed and get into bed, I'll tell you the whole story.

[Baby Snooks]

I.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

To begin with, some states celebrate Thanksgiving a week earlier than others.

[Baby Snooks]

Why?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

I don't know. You'll have to ask the President.

[Baby Snooks]

Call them up, Daddy.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

No, not now. Thanksgiving used to be the last Thursday in November. That's the day when the Pilgrims landed in America.

[Baby Snooks]

They landed last Thursday?

[Jack Benny]

Yes.

[Baby Snooks]

I want to see them.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Oh, you can't see them.

[Baby Snooks]

Why?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Because they're all dead. They started out for America over 300.

[Baby Snooks]

Years ago and they just got here. Last Thursday?

[Jack Benny]

No, they didn't get here last Thursday.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

They got here in 16, in 1760. It was over 300 years ago that they arrived.

[Baby Snooks]

Who did?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

The Pilgrims. So now we celebrate their arrival by killing a turkey. And everybody's supposed to be thankful.

[Baby Snooks]

The turkey too?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Turkeys don't know about Thanksgiving. We use the turkey as a symbol because that's the first food the Pilgrims found.

[Baby Snooks]

Who's the Pilgrims?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

The people who first came here. They landed on Plymouth Rock.

[Baby Snooks]

The tapings?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

No, the Pilgrims on Plymouth Rock.

[Baby Snooks]

Who's he?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Who's he? Plymouth Rock. The rock they landed on.

[Baby Snooks]

Who did the rock land on?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

The rock didn't land on anybody.

[Jack Benny]

They landed on the rock.

[Baby Snooks]

Who landed? The Pilgrims.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Because they'd been traveling on the ocean for over six weeks and they were travel.

[Baby Snooks]

The Pilgrims.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

That's why they were happy when they landed at Plymouth rock. That's over 300 years ago. The name of the boat was the Mayflower.

[Baby Snooks]

Are you with them, Daddy?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Oh, of course not. Do I look that old?

[Baby Snooks]

I don't know.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Well, I wasn't with him. But I'm proud to say my forefathers were.

[Baby Snooks]

Did you have forefathers?

[Jack Benny]

Certainly.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Everybody has forefathers.

[Baby Snooks]

Me, too.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Yes.

[Baby Snooks]

Where's the other three?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Oh, don't start that. I'm talking about my ancestors, my forebears.

[Baby Snooks]

Your ancestors had four bears?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Sure.

[Baby Snooks]

How many bears did your uncle have?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

My uncle didn't have any bears. Nobody had any bears. My ancestors were my forebears. Understand?

[Baby Snooks]

Understand?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Well, what do I mean?

[Baby Snooks]

Your aunt had four sisters and they were all bears.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

That's right. Now go to sleep.

[Baby Snooks]

Finish it.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Not if you're going to keep interrupting me. Will you be quiet? All right. After the Pilgrims landed on the Rock, they went and found a clearing in the woods. They built cabins. But pretty soon all their food supplies gave out. They were about to starve when one of the Pilgrims rushed in with a thing we all eat now for Thanksgiving. You know what that was?

[Mary Martin]

Mm. The Rock.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Sanoukes, could it be possible you don't know where Plymouth Rock is? Could that be?

[Mary Martin]

Could.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Well, I guess that makes you the only. That's really a distinction. You're incredible.

[Jack Benny]

Why?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Plymouth Rock is in. Don't they teach you anything in that broken down school?

[Baby Snooks]

Well, where is the Plymouth?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

It's in Maine or Denver or one of those eastern states.

[Dick Powell]

I think.

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

Anyway, it doesn't matter. Now say your prayers and go to sleep.

[Baby Snooks]

All right, Daddy. Dear Angie, I want to thank you for my wonderful daddy, me and my mommy and my love.

[Mary Martin]

Daddy.

[Baby Snooks]

And to all the places here. And I hope all the poor little children will come with Thanksgiving dinner. Right. 10 with R in Idaho.

[Jack Benny]

Why?

[Daddy (Fanny Brice as Daddy)]

So? What kind of a crazy question is that?

[Baby Snooks]

Well, yesterday you had to write a composition about.

[Mary Martin]

Thanks.

[Dick Powell]

The sum of width just about ties off another section. So this is Dick Powell once again saying good night to the gang. And thanks for listening for another half hour, son. Just keep your dial set right where they are.

[Don Wilson]

Until next Thursday. That's John Wilson saying good night and good luck for the makers of Maxwell House, the coffee that's good to the last drop.

[Dick Powell]

This is the National Broadcasting Company.

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[Jack Benny]

Uh, Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us?

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